Saturday, December 31, 2016

Start the Countdown!

Daria's not interested in partying for New Year's Eve, but I know there are quite a few people out there who are glad to finally see the end of 2016. Whatever the future may bring for us all, I hope 2017 is a good one for everyone!

For some extra cheer, read the transcript of Daria's cameo on MTV New Year's Eve 2002 fifteen years ago. "And finally, let's try to make this the best year ever, or at least the least suckiest." That sounds like good advice to me.

Fanfic Update!
  • Cops And Robbers And Magic, by psychotol (part 6): "'Matilda, your team has been complaining about having to use these Barbie hover board drones,' said the Superintendant. 'Because no self respecting cop would use such a thing?' asked Matilda."

  • Daria Takes Charge, by dmsfanman (part 9): "Once again getting off of the plane it was an advantage being in business class. Tom and Daria were allowed off first, which meant that they had a substantial head start getting to passport control."

  • Daria, the Radio serial, by Roentgen (part 12): "JAKE: (singing) I've been working on the railroad... come on, everyone, we know this one. (Beat, followed by grumbling.)"

  • Misery Machine, by NightGoblyn (part 18): "Jodie was one of the first back on the bus, and sat in her seat scanning the faces as people passed her by. She was hoping to catch Brittany and get the former cheer captain to sit up front with her and not go to the back of the bus where Kevin and Dawn would probably be sitting."

  • Moonstruck, by NightGoblyn (parts 9 - 11): "After the self-esteem class, as the girls were leaving school, Scarlett coughed to get the others' attention and then suggested, 'Hey, why don't we head over to my place instead of Jane's? My aunt won't be home yet, we'll have the place to ourselves.'" (Part 10) (Part 11)

  • On The Road, by elainefr (part 30): "'Good evening everyone,' Scott, the manager of The Zon greeted The Spiral and their dates. 'Sup Scott? How's it going?' Trent asked with an arm firmly around his petite date."

  • Unnamed story (Iron Chef: The Daria Christmas Party), by Zetor (COMPLETE!): "Brittany was beginning to regret forgiving Kevin so quickly. As her boyfriend sloppily kissed and roughly groped at her, Brittany began to remember why she cheated on him so often. Unbidden, an image of Daria, came to mind."

Thursday, December 29, 2016

"My tongue! Dear God, it's black!"

Jake is whipping up a nice batch of pepper pot for Pepper Pot Day, although I hope someone told him that pepper is not the sole ingredient in the soup. We don't want a repeat of his Kitchen Sink Stew fiasco, no matter how amusing it might be.

Fandom News!

Tuesday, December 27, 2016

What Does Barch Think of Male Puppets?

Ms. Barch is looking classy as the late actress Marlene Dietrich, who was born on this day in 1901. Aside from this alter ego and their German last names, I'm not sure the two women have anything in common.

Today is also the "birthday" of Howdy Doody, who made his first appearance on this day in 1947. I don't know if the resemblance between the marionette and Upchuck was intentional, but Andrea certainly seemed to think so.

Fanfic Update!
  • Baby It's Cold Outside, by elainefr (COMPLETE!): "'Come on, just a little while more,' Trent tried to coerce Daria into staying a bit longer. 'I really can't... I've got to get back...'"

  • Daria Takes Charge, by dmsfanman (parts 7 - 8): "The restaurant was really nice. The d├ęcor was classic Bavarian country style – even though they were not in Bavaria. There were various scenes painted on the wall and the beer was excellent!" (Part 8)

  • Murder, She Etched, by Sacred Dust (parts 4 and 5): "When Amanda came back into the dining room, she saw that Jane had changed tables and was talking quietly with Percy, the well-spoken young man with the book. Jane nodded to let her know everything was all right." (Part 5)

  • Saved By the Bell, or: The Unexpected Virtue of Sarcasm, by Two-Eyed Charlie (COMPLETE!): "So there I was, coming out of the Mall of the Millennium with an arm full of Christmas presents, just about to reach the snow bank next to my parked car, when I felt the grip of a pistol smash into my skull."

  • Theory of Aesthetics, by Anonymous (COMPLETE!): "'Okay but so like, are there any paintings here that aren't totally depressing?' Quinn yelled from the next room over. 'Okay, but, so, like, do you even know what paint is for if it doesn't go on your eyelids?' Jane yelled right back at her."

Sunday, December 25, 2016

Is That a Fuzzy Wuzzy Wee Bit Costume?

Mrs. Bennett looks a bit too festive for Christmas, but I hope all you in fandom who celebrate it have a very merry one! To help set the mood, here's a (lengthy) list of Christmas-themed Daria fanfics for you:
Fandom News!

Friday, December 23, 2016

It's a Festivus MIRacle!

Mr. DeMartino is all set to air his grievances on Festivus, but he forgot the traditional aluminum pole. Still, we all know that he's going to exhibit a feat of strength on the window before he goes out for his hike, so it's all good.

Fanfic Update!
  • And a Giant Douche (Daria and the Gang Thread), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "'I really should say something,' Helen said. 'Stick to the script,' Daria said with a smile."

  • Another Life, by Princess_Pasta (part 2): "'This has to be the stupidest thing you've ever done'. Daria stared at her reflection and it stared back at her with just as much annoyance, the moment both comical and pathetic."

  • Cute (Zetor's thread for misfit stories), by Zetor (COMPLETE!): "Hey Quinn, How are you? It's been a while. I guess school is keeping us both busy, otherwise why wouldn't we be talking, right?"

  • Cynic and a Six-String, by fringeperson (part 45): "'Daria, is there some reason you weren't home last night?' Helen asked when Daria returned home from school, one carefully plucked eyebrow perfectly arched."

  • Daria (and other characters) on the Defiant Round Robin, by Meester_Lee (part 50): "Lisbeth looked down the ship's corridor in amazement as Benjamin Sisko kept walking after walking right through her. She wondered where he'd go. If Lisbeth had opened the door to the Defiant's captain's cabin, she would have found that he hadn't gone very far."

  • Daria Takes Charge, by dmsfanman (part 6): "Tom and Terry were up before Daria and Maggie. The two men were sitting in the solarium or 'winter garden' on the back of the house and drinking orange juice."

  • Daria, the Radio serial, by Roentgen (parts 10 and 11): "(Sounds of a party. Lots of conversation and swing records being played in the background) KATIE: It's really spooky in here. All of these animal heads and trophies around." (Part 11)

  • QuinnxSandi, by yammcie (part 2): "'So although we have all agreed that this hipster thing is just a phase being brought on by poor inner city brains and weirdos, we can't deny that this "revolution" is damaging to the industry,' Sandi lectured to the three girls in front of her."

  • A.R.C Chapter 8 Sighted by a condor, by ST91 (part 4): "'Now Daria...' started to say Helen. 'I will not go!' said Daria. 'Please let me fin-' 'I said no! You can stop giving me my allowance.'"

Wednesday, December 21, 2016

Some Light on the Darkest Day

Looks like Daria and her friends are celebrating National Flashlight Day, unless this is a weird method of observing Look on the Bright Side Day. Either way, both are reminders that today is the winter solstice--the shortest day of the year.

Fandom News!

Monday, December 19, 2016

It's a Strangely Disturbing Life

Daria's looking both retro and uncharacteristically cheerful here because this is a scene from the Beavis and Butt-head episode "It's a Miserable Life," which aired on this day in 1995. It showed an alternate reality Daria, who had a boyfriend and smiled and sang carols and made all of Daria fandom die a little inside.

Fanfic Update!
  • Another Life, by Princess_Pasta (part 1): "For perhaps the millionth time, Daria Morgendorffer found herself standing outside of the doors to The Zon. It wasn't her usual scene, nothing about grunge clubs or music appealing to her, and yet she couldn't seem to break away."

  • Cynic and a Six-String, by fringeperson (part 44): "'You picked up a guy in a vintage stationers while Trent was helping my dad and Jeffy catch the squirrelly menace?' Daria clarified when she and Jane had reunited for pizza lunch and a break-down of their respective previous night."

  • Daria (and other characters) on the Defiant Round Robin, by EntrancedCat (part 49): "'Left, left, hard and up you damn idiots,' John Yossarian was screaming to the bridge crew as the Defiant shook under another blast from the ship which had mysteriously materialized out of nothing ten kilometers in front."

  • Daria: College Pains The Junior Year, by James the Lesser (part 1): "Daria is listening to Doug about the assignment she had given him. 'I found that all of them were connected to a new drug trial. Something that enhances a persons focus and removes their hunger.'"

  • Daria Ravenclaw: No Country For Unpleasant Old Men, by Meester_Lee (part 3c): "Iago watched in shock as the Muggle gunman brandished his pistol and waved it at the crowd. This was as bad as one of the episodes he'd been through in North Africa."

  • Daria Takes Charge, by dmsfanman (parts 4 and 5): "Daria stared out the window of the train. Outside was total and utter blackness. It was the blackest blackness she had ever seen. There was absolutely no light other than the lights inside the train car." (Part 5)

  • Daria, the Radio serial, by Roentgen (parts 8 and 9): "(Sound of students milling about. Trays clank.) BRITTANY: Ugh! I hate it when the trays are wet when it's lunchtime. DARIA: 'That which does not kill us makes us stronger.'" (Part 9)

  • The Life of the Mind, by Two-Eyed Charlie (part 3): "I suppose I should explain the cliffhanger, first and foremost. I've read books and watched TV shows where they do that—cut off the action at the last chapter or the end of the episode, leaving the audience to wallow in suspense for however long the gap in production or page numbers might be."

  • Murder, She Etched, by Sacred Dust (part 2): "The bus rumbled down the highway, leaving Ashfield and the shadow of the mountains in the distance. But her daughter's memories, Amanda suspected, would not be so easily left behind."

Saturday, December 17, 2016

Don't Let the Wind Mess Up Your Hair!

Quinn's suited up and ready for takeoff because on this day in 1903, Orville and Wilbur Wright made their first successful flight. She's definitely going to want to fly away when Sandi catches sight of those pants, though. Very unfashionable.

Fandom News!

Thursday, December 15, 2016

Frankly, My Dear, I Don't Give a Gah Damn

Helen and Jake are impersonating one of literature's favorite dysfunctional couples in honor of the anniversary of the Gone With the Wind premiere on this day in 1939. Perhaps Daria and Quinn will watch it together again for another dose of sisterly bonding.

Fanfic Update!
  • Collateral Damage (Shorty Shorts), by ognawk (COMPLETE!): "Elsie Sloane entered the front door of Sloane Manor and closed the door behind her, leaning back against it and sighing as she did so. It had been another tiring day at school, with people still being unusually nice to her after her brother Tom's death."

  • Daria, the Radio serial, by Roentgen (parts 6 and 7): "EICHLER: From the very beginning at Mutual, I wanted to introduce Negro characters. Anne Bernstein's plans were to introduce two characters, a boy named Connie and a girl named Judy. Both would attend Lawndale High School." (Part 7)

  • Forget (Pasta's Never-ending Ideas Thread!), by Princess_Pasta (COMPLETE!): "A loud crack of lighting ripped across the darkened night sky, causing Daria to jump despite herself. She turned her attention away from the novel that she was reading to gaze out of the large picture window beside her."

  • Guardian angel-written (Robyn's Ramblings: Also Known As Robyn's Many Ideas), by tjdolf (COMPLETE!): "- You again?! - What do you mean, of course it's me again, Dawn cried. -Why won't anyone help me?"

  • Misery Machine, by NightGoblyn (part 17): "'Daria! Hey, Daria!' The short brunette frowned, turning to face the direction the voice was coming from. It was young, female, and familiar so probably a classmate but not somebody she spoke to with any frequency."

  • Moonstruck, by NightGoblyn (part 8): "Daria paced back and forth impatiently, frequently glancing at her bedroom door and then out the window. Someone had put the original knob back on her door, and now she was locked in. Whoever had done it had also replaced the bars on her window, meaning she couldn't escape that way, either."

  • Murder, She Etched, by Sacred Dust (part 1): "It was only supposed to be a butterfly. Amanda Lane stood back with an uncommonly grim expression and pondered the fate of her latest piece."

  • An Old Foe (Doctor Who: Ways Clara Oswald ...), by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (COMPLETE!): "The Doctor looked as Clara walked down the Street. 'Let me be brave,' she said. His emotions were in turmoil. How had it come to this? That Clara would be so reckless."

  • A.R.C Chapter 8 Sighted by a condor, by ST91 (part 3): "'So Charles has a crush on Daria,' said Andrea over the phone. 'Yes,' said Jane. 'And you knew it...' 'Since we crashed Brittany's party.'"

  • Unnamed story (Iron Chef: The Daria Christmas Party), by JPAGC (COMPLETE!): "As far as he remembered, the punch had a slightly... odd flavor. It seemed both sweeter and bitter than usual. However, he disregarded that in his nervous state."

Tuesday, December 13, 2016

Which One Would That Cute Family of Teens Choose?

Mack is seriously regetting his decision to participate in Ice Cream Day, especially since it's the middle of December. Perhaps he would have been better off starting that ice cream company with Kevin that the Is It College Yet? alter egos claim they'll have.

If you have a sweet tooth but it's too cold for ice cream, then you could choose to celebrate National Cocoa Day instead. Quinn's whipping up a batch right now, just in case Lawndale gets hit by another freak hurricane.

Fandom News!

Sunday, December 11, 2016

Does This Mountain Make Me Look Faaaaat?

Tiffany's celebrating International Mountain Day by climbing one, although I'm not sure she's got the mental capacity to handle such a complex and dangerous task. The good news is that the thin air as she gets higher shouldn't impair her cognitive functions too much.

Today is also the 70th anniversary of the humanitarian organization UNICEF. No, Eric, you can't celebrate by suing them. I don't care how many pennies you'll get out of it.

Fanfic Update!
  • Cops And Robbers And Magic, by psychotol (part 5): "'So, 'Make America Great Again' is taken and will likely be downright toxic next election, so we need a new four word or close to four word slogan that is just as catchy as it was last election,' said Carrie."

  • Cynic and a Six-String, by fringeperson (part 43): "The thing about having been good friends with Trent before they were dating, as well as being best friends with his sister, Daria found it a lot easier to go and just talk to them about the whole mess than to keep it to herself."

  • Daria (and other characters) on the Defiant Round Robin, by Meester_Lee (parts 47 and 48): "Helia turned around in time to watch in wonder as Captain Sisko walked right through the Earth girl who was standing in the doorway of her cabin. The girl staggered for a moment, then began to come back to herself." (Part 48)

  • Daria Takes Charge, by dmsfanman (part 2): "Standing there kissing his wife Tom took in all of the sensations. The softness of Daria's lips was something which was part of her natural beauty."

  • Daria, the Radio serial, by Roentgen (part 5): "O'NEILL: And so, for tomorrow, I want you to make of ten etiquette dos and don'ts. BOY: Oh, Mr. O'Neill, Mr. O'Neill?! O'NEILL: Yes, um... you. BOY: Is that ten in total, or ten of each? Dos and dont's, that is?"

  • Ted Talks Trash (The Ted Zone), by Kristen Bealer (COMPLETE!): "'...and that brings me to reason number thirty-four why women are genetically superior to men,' Ms. Barch was telling her students. Science class was one of the rare places where Ted actually appreciated other people's tendency to overlook him."

  • Unnamed story (Iron Chef: The Daria Christmas Party), by EntrancedCat (COMPLETE!): "Jane Lane got to Lawndale High's first compulsory attendance Christmas party a bit late due to Trent's not-so-trusty blue flivver breaking down more often than usual on the drive over from Casa Lane."

Friday, December 9, 2016

But What About the Honor of Llllawndale High?

Ms. Li is horrified to learn that today is International Anti-Corruption Day. It's not fair--how is she going to embezzle school funds and invade student privacy now?

Happy birthday to Kevin Daniels, who was one of several voice actors to portray Mack. I guess the stress of putting up with even a fictional Kevin is too much for one man to handle.

Fandom News!

Wednesday, December 7, 2016

"Don't pick your nose...don't pick your nose...."

On this day in 1990, the movie Edward Scissorhands had its limited release. Brittany doesn't look very happy in her alter ego as the title character, and not just because she's going to have a hard time holding her pom-poms. The next time she tries to twirl a strand of hair around her finger, she'll risk cutting off her head...or something vital! Now that I think about it, I have a feeling Kevin isn't too thrilled about this idea, either.

Fanfic Update!
  • Christmas, by dmsfanman (part 5): "Three days later Daria was on the phone with Tom. He asked, 'Do you think you can get someone to take me to the train station? My mother hasn't spoken to me since New Year's Eve. Not that I mind it so much, but if no one is going to talk to me I might as well go back to Newtowne tomorrow. Are you interested in coming to Newtowne for a few days with me?'"

  • Daria Ravenclaw: No Country For Unpleasant Old Men, by Meester_Lee (parts 3a and 3b): "Arcturus and Iago quickly retrieved their luggage from MACUSA's customs service. Despite the fuss that MACUSA's immigration agents had made about Arcturus' wand, MACUSA had given his luggage only perfunctory attention." (Part 3b)

  • Daria, the Radio serial, by Roentgen (parts 3 and 4): "(Sounds of silverware clanking against dishes.) HELEN: Daria, it's your turn to clean up after dinner. DARIA: Why do I have to clean up? HELEN: You know that you girls have to chip in. We don't have a maid here, unlike some people." (Part 4)

  • For the Hoard!, by tafka (COMPLETE!): "Trent looked at his stuff. The room was full of it, packed to the ceiling in unending drifts of detritus. He had an urge to pull out his axe and practice, but he'd long-since forgotten where his amp was."

  • The Life of the Mind, by Two-Eyed Charlie (part 2): "The cops in Lawndale are lackadaisical at the best of times. One A.M is far from 'best' by practically every metric."

  • Misery Machine, by NightGoblyn (part 16): "'Alright,' Ms. Barch said. 'It looks like I was half right. They left their flag mostly unguarded, but it was a pair of inferior males that got left behind. Since they've probably already exceeded their attention span, this should be easy.'"

  • Moonstruck, by NightGoblyn (part 7): "That afternoon, she found herself wasting time in O'Neill's after school self-esteem class, again. She was ignoring the teacher, and much of the class, and sketching out one last star chart on a pad of legal paper."

Monday, December 5, 2016

Booze and Disney--They Go Together Surprisingly Well!

Jodie's celebrating Repeal Day in the traditional flapper style, because it was on this day in 1933 that the last necessary state ratified the 21st Amendment and repealed Prohibition. Now Jodie is free to drink as much as she likes, as long as her parents don't catch her at it.

Today is also the anniversary of Walt Disney's birth in 1901, and without him and his cryogenically frozen head we'd have no humorous additions to the picnic game in "The Road Worrier."

Fandom News!

Saturday, December 3, 2016

Just Be Happy There's a Roof Somewhere Near You

Be grateful for what you have on National Roof over Your Head Day, although I think Daria's not so much grateful as praying that roof stays right where it is. She may also be contemplating going up to her usual hiding place on top of the school roof, but that won't work because it's not National Roof Under Your Feet Day. If you have a roof over your head, I hope it stays up, keeping you safe from both head injuries and Medieval fairs.

Fanfic Update!
  • Cynic and a Six-String, by fringeperson (part 42): "'Okay, so I had this idea,' Jane started. 'There's a dangerous sentence,' Daria quipped."

  • Daria, the Radio serial, by Roentgen (parts 1 and 2): "JAKE: Girls, I just want you to know your mother and I realize it's not easy moving to a whole new town - especially for you, Daria, right? DARIA: Did we move?" (Part 2)

  • The Life of the Mind, by Two-Eyed Charlie (part 1): "Let me paint the scene for you: I was standing in the middle of my room, staring down the shape edge of a knife, watching as its thick coat of red dripped onto the carpet."

  • The Many Trents at Forty, by Cap (COMPLETE!): "A sunny, breezy spring day in late May found Trent chauffeuring his sister Jane and her friend Daria to the campus of Smallwood Community College."

  • Misery Machine, by NightGoblyn (part 15): "In a different part of the forest, Andrea closed the well-concealed door that she'd found almost by accident and looked around the small room hidden behind it. There was a toilet and a sink, so this was probably one of the comfort stations Big Jim had told them about."

  • Moonstruck, by NightGoblyn (part 6): "Daria stood at her locker, shuffling books in and out of her backpack for her first couple of classes. She mostly carried the books for show, she hadn't actually needed to crack a textbook since fourth grade."

  • A.R.C Chapter 8 Sighted by a condor, by ST91 (part 2): "Usually Daria and her friends spent their afternoons at Jane's home or at Andrea's. In this particular time, given the presence of Amy, the four teens went only to Jane's house."

  • Unnamed story (Iron Chef: the Early Invention of 'Daria'), by EntrancedCat (COMPLETE!): "'Mo-om,' Quinn opened their bedroom door and called down the hall. 'Daria, eww, Daria went to bed naked again. Make her stop.'"

  • Unnamed story (World's Shortest Crossover, Part XIV: The Crossover Awakens!), by MetalShadowX (part 1): "Daria and Jane escaped from a prison when they encountered a meek looking gentleman and a little girl. 'Hello strangers. My name is Tim. May I help...'"

Thursday, December 1, 2016

Not to be Confused With The Noggin!

Jake picked the wrong carton, because today starts National Eggnog Month. If you indulge, please remember to check the expiration date--we all know that out-of-season nog can induce holiday hallucinations.

On this day in 1955, Rosa Parks refused to give up her seat on the bus, beginning a series of events that ultimately ended segregation. In other words, Jodie, today would not be an appropriate day to move to the back of the bus; I don't care how annoying Kevin and Brittany are being.

Fandom News!