Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Objection, Your Honor!

Today is Love Litigating Lawyers Day, although why the litigators are the only ones who get any love is anyone's guess. Still, Helen qualifies for this holiday and therefore I think we should all give her a great big hug. Unless she threatens us with a lawsuit--Daria must have gotten the idea from somewhere, after all!

Fandom News!

Monday, August 29, 2011

Two Anniversaries and Two Controversial People

Today is the 53rd anniversary of Michael Jackson's birth. The late pop star was born on this day in 1958, and for better or worse he made a huge impact on the world. A few fans have done Daria fanart related to Jackson, including breitasparrow's Thriller Bowl and Elryd's Michael Jackson Mackenzie.

Also on this day, the Admonisher published his essay A Rant About "Evil" Tom in 2000. It's a bit strongly worded, but definitely worth a look--whatever your feelings about the character may be.

Fanfic Update!
  • The Author as a Lesbian, by DeacBlue (part 5): "'Um, Mom? While normally I would stand back and let Quinn sleep in the bed she made, it sounds like you're changing rules midstream, and that doesn't bode well for me. I thought the decision to use our college funds for extra cash, up to a point, was ours, and you weren't going to stop us from doing stupid things with it. But here you are, tying the release of those funds to grades.' She narrowed her eyes at her mother. 'What gives?'"

  • Bathroom Habits (Iron Chef: Mrs. Li's Trash freakout), by Ardneh (COMPLETE!): "'Now then,' Ms. Li began. Reaching into her desk, Ms. Li pulled out a sealed clear bag containing what appears to be a plastic stick. 'The honor of Lawwwnnndale high is in jeopardy. This pregnancy test was found in the restroom, this morning. The test results are undetermined, because the display has faded. You six were the only girls observed entering the restroom during the time it could have been left there. I want to know who's it is,' Ms. Li demanded."

  • Boxing Ms. Morgendorffer, by Chris Tucker (part 10): "The next morning, both young women were awakened by the alarm. Daria was somewhat confused by her current attire. She did not recall getting undressed for bed. 'Yeah, well, you were dead to the world when I woke up, so I took care of that for you. If you're a good girl, I'l tell you whose name was on your lips as I wrestled with that damned bra you were wearing. If you're a bad girl, I'll tell everyone!'"

  • Devil's Spawn (IC: Whatever happened to Elsie?), by OverlordMikey (COMPLETE!): "'But Elsie...' 'No, you are not my father! You left me when I was just a kid, and don't feed my that bull about Dad, because you know he didn't care if you stayed! Admit it, you where just to busy for me!'"

  • Esteemster Series, by TheExcellentS (part 10): "Barch: 'There's that patented war cheer, O'Neill! You know what that means!' O'Neill: 'That means it's Taylor Made time! Her trademark spinning neckbreaker has put away many a foe, and it could put away Cullen tonight!' Barch: 'She's stalking... stalking... she's got her! This is it!' O'Neill: 'Taylor, about to take Cullen for the ride... and there it is! Taylor Made! Cullen could be out cold!' Barch: 'Cover her, Brittany! This will put Team LFC level again!'"

  • Ghost Girl chapter four, by Pumpkin Panic (parts 5 and 6): "'It's fine Mrs. Morgendorffer. I'm here from Fielding Preparatory Academy for Boys made coeducational Circa 1972.' The woman smiled 'Both of your daughters are being invited to attend on full government scholarships.' Helen put her hand on her chest and leaned back in her seat in wide eyed shock, 'Oh my!' She looked at the woman quizzically 'Quinn too?' she asked. She knew the reputation of Fielding. It was one of the most prestigious schools in the country. You couldn't even just apply to go there you had to be invited and they only took the best and the brightest. Daria they might accept on grades alone if they ignored her off-putting personality, but to have Quinn invited as well was suspicious." (Part 6)

  • God Save The Esteem Ep34: Tom's Addition, by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): "'Okay,' said Daria, leaving the Ten to sort it out themselves. 'Quinn. Let’s talk about this like civilised people.' 'But I gotta beat Tom up, damn it! And...' 'Astrid,' said Astrid. 'Yeah, her! She’s cheating on you, I mean he’s cheating on you with her, I mean her, I mean Daria being civilised gives me a headache!!'"

  • Long Cold Season (Iron Chef: Tom cheats on Daria), by LadieT: "'You could have kissed any one else - but no Tom you had to kiss her and hell Jane, you must have wanted it pretty bad too considering you kissed him back. My first best friend and my first boyfriend - well, I can assure you - you sure as hell will be my last of both,' They could feel the ice from her words in the air and it chilled them both to the bone. Daria then started to walk away, leaving Jane and Tom to stare at each other."

  • Quinn's Code 03: Cafe Geekdale, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (COMPLETE!): "Quinn went up to the stage. 'Why Geeks can be popular, a general rebuttal of the previous speech. Good Evening, Students of Lawndale High, and Lawndale and Glenfield Middle Schools. Some shallow and yet popular students may take umbrage at Geeks being popular for what may seem to be petty reasons. Why do they do this, you may ask...'"

  • Raft College: The First Year, by rglovejoy (part 46): "'Hi, I'm Nancy, and this is my friend Roberta.' Nancy stood up and put her hand out to Jane, who took it warily. 'I haven't seen you around.' 'My name's Jane, I'm not a student here. I'm just visiting Daria for the weekend. So how do you know her?' 'Daria attended our Bible talk a few weeks ago,' Roberta said, grinning broadly. Jane smirked. 'Oh really? Lemme get my tray.'"

  • Rio Grizzly, by Smijey (COMPLETE!): "'Then...then why did you recoil when I kissed you? Are you gay?' Amelia then looked briefly mortified. 'Uh, I mean, it's okay if you're gay, I just...' Darius shook his head. 'No, I'm not gay. I, uh...I'm not gay.' 'Then why don't you want to kiss me?' Darius opened his mouth, but for once was unable to come up with a good answer."

  • Save the Last Trance for Me, by jtranser: "Amelia cringed in terror: 'B-but that would mean...' A cold smoldering cryogenic fog emanated from Daria and swirled, glittering though the air, as She shook her head and tried to explain it to Her priestess more simply: 'No,No, Amelia. I said get a life, not take one.'"

  • Settling Into A New Life, by RLobinske (part 10): "Daria parked her car and looked over. 'We're here.' Michael said, 'We finally leave the house and you bring me to the marina an hour before dark?' 'I have a cunning plan.' 'A cunning plan, huh?' 'Walk,' Daria said. 'Yes, ma'am.'"

  • Tom's Immortal (IC: Tom has a Soul), by breitasparrow (COMPLETE!): "Tom stood over the weakened body of Trent as he raised his sword. As he held it over his own head in both hands, he looked into the other man's eyes one last time."

  • An Unexpected Gift (Iron Chef: Repaid), by HeirOfNorton (COMPLETE!): "'Excuse me. It's Daria, isn't it?' Daria almost jumped straight out of her skin when she heard the question behind her. She turned around, and found herself face-to-face with the man of her dreams. It took her a moment to process what he said, and another moment before she could stutter out, 'Yeah, I mean yes, I'm Daria.'"

  • Unforgivable (Iron Chef: Tom cheats on Daria), by OverlordMikey (COMPLETE!): "Something in Daria snapped, she walked out of the bathroom and past Quinn; who looked at her with a worrisome expression that Daria didn’t notice. When she returned to the bathroom she was carrying a baseball bat; she must have found it in the garage somewhere, but why‘d she take it. She stared at her reflection. 'Cold...' Daria smashed the mirror as Quinn rush in horrified. 'Daria!'"

  • Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Tom cheats on Daria), by 45Ranger (COMPLETE!): "Dear Jane, I know I never said it, but I love you. God, I hate how fucking cliché that sounds. I also hate you. All the attempts I’ve made to reconcile these two emotions have managed to destroy any sanity I may have had."

  • What Ever Happened To Young Elsie? (IC: Whatever happened to Elsie?), by breitasparrow: "Elsie came upstairs to his room a little later than usual with his breakfast. Tom headed to the table where he usually ate his meals, then turned to face her. 'Good morning,' he said. 'Did you have a nice drive?' 'What are you talking about?' Elsie asked defensively."

Sunday, August 28, 2011

Still Waiting on that Sequel

Happy birthday to Leo Tolstoy! The Russian novelist was born on this day in 1828, and Daria canon has this to say about him:

Mr. O'Neill: Now, why do you think it is that Tolstoy felt he had to make War and Peace so darned...unpleasant? Daria?

Daria: So no one would pester him to do a sequel?

Hard to tell from that comment whether or not Daria is herself a fan of Tolstoy. It's a good bet her Aunt Amy is, though, given Rita's remark about her "reading those weird Russian novels."

Fandom News!

Saturday, August 27, 2011

Maybe Someone Could Turn Down the Sun

It was eleven years ago today that the first Daria movie, Is It Fall Yet?, aired on MTV. Not only did the Jane-Tom-Daria thing get resolved (or at least resolved as much as it ever did), but Quinn also finally got a ton of character development. There were a lot of great comic moments throughout, as well. One of my favorites is DeMartino's triumphant "I'm going for a hike!" scene. What's yours? Share it in the comments.

Fanfic Update!
  • God Save The Esteem Ep34: Tom's Addition, by Charles RB (part 3): "'Sadly,' said Pat, 'I’m taken, so is John Thomas here, and Terry is more gay than two men having sex. You’re stuck with Pee-Wee.' 'Hello,' said Stephen Pierson-Wells hopefully. Astrid swore in Norwegian. 'Can I claim one of you is cheating with me? Please? No offence.' 'No, that’s fair,' said Stephen. 'I think Tom’s a more realistic cheat than I am-' 'You never let that card game go, do you Pat?'"

  • Gossip Rag (IC: Daria and Jane:Enemies at first sight), by OverlordMikey: "Jane had seen her from time to time, but she had always seemed so plain and clean. Jane knew better of course. She had almost the entire school under her thumb as head of the school newspaper. Everyone feared her or worked for her, although usually it was both. Now here she was, making out with Jane's brother Trent in Jane's own bed room, on her own bed, half naked, and Jane didn't miss the unopened condom Trent was holding in preparation."

  • How Harry Potter Should Have Ended (Non-Daria (mostly) IC: How X Should Have Ended), by RX-87 (COMPLETE!): "Draco: I... I... I don't feel so good. Draco collapses on the ground, a strange bulge forming under his robes. A naked, blood-covered Harry explodes out of his body. Harry: Ugh. Let's hope I never have to do that again..."

  • Is It Ours Yet?, by RX-87 (part 5): "The bizarre thing responded contemptuously 'Familiar? Hah! Listen, Handlebars, I ain't nobody's underling. Now I'm offering to assist you little bastards outta the goodness of my heart. So, anybody have any questions?' The creature immediately regretted saying that. 'Ooh! Me! Me! Me!' 'Where'd that robot come from?!' 'Is it an alien?!' 'Are all the bag guys that gross?!' 'Do we get payed for this?'"

  • The Kiss, by tafka: "Daria was acting weird, weirder than usual. Moreover she had been avoiding her for the better part of a week. Tom was being all cold & distant, but that was slowly growing to be the norm. Jane wondered if the two were somehow related. She did some mental arithmetic and came to an answer she didn’t like at all."

  • Lawndale and Sandi Griffin’s Genie (Chapter 5), by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 4): "They struggled, Elias grabbed the emerald. 'I wish that Dennis will be at home, that the tornado will completely disappear and that all the major damage would be repaired!' The last word repeated around them as the emerald granted the wish."

  • The Nature of the Lion (Supercharacters: in Daria, in canon), by The Angst Guy: "MMANSON: Uh... you want me to what? [DELETED]: I want you to design a special curriculum for students at Lawndale High who possess parahuman potential— MMANSON: Sorry, forgive me for interrupting, but what you just said... [DELETED]: Parahuman potential. Super-powers, just like in the comic books."

  • Rio Grizzly, by Smijey (parts 1 and 2): "It was times like these, Darius reflected as he looked up from the puddle of mud he had landed face-down in at the young woman sitting backwards on his horse smiling back at him, that he regretted ever picking up Black Beauty." (Part 2)

  • Silent Melody, by Silver (part 6): "'I didn't do it.' Helen stared at Daria, who stared defiantly back. It took a good few minutes, but Helen leaned back. 'Then who did?' Helen asked. 'Someone else. Someone that's not me. Have someone check. I can't control my lightning that well. You and dad both know that.' Daria shrugged. 'And from what I heard, every nova's a suspect.'"

  • Sloane, M.D., by InvisibleDan (part 1): "Sloane: Ah, Daria Morgendorffer you say. Well, that changes everything. She'll be fine. Who's up next? Cameron: But her condition's worsening. Her creatinine levels are spiking. At this rate her kidneys will shut down by the end of the day. Sloane: All she needs is someone to pull out that redwood-sized stick out of her ass and send her home. Is there anybody else?"

  • Stalled (Iron Chef: Tom cheats on Daria), by breitasparrow (COMPLETE!): "Daria quickly swung open her stall door and stepped out, causing Jane to take a few steps back from her. 'You know what I don't get about you, Lane? Out of all the guys you could have, you go after my boyfriend. What, are all the cute guys at Lawndale not enough that you have to make out with Tom?'"

  • Unnamed story (IC: Whatever happened to Elsie?), by Hyrin (COMPLETE!): "Tom looked around to make sure that he was alone, then whispered to the empty air, 'Do you have any idea what I'm supposed to be doing?' 'Ziggy says there's a 47% chance that that girl,' the hologram pointed at Elsie, 'is going to die within the next 6 hours.'"

  • Unnamed story (IC: Whatever happened to Elsie?), by OverlordMikey (COMPLETE!): "'Say Tom whatever happened to your sister?' 'I had a sister?'"

  • Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Pleasantville), by Jim North: "Trent's glazed eyes barely moved as the images on the TV screen flickered this way and that, but still he was taking every moment of it in. Ever since he had stumbled across the old black and white 50's show a few days ago he'd been looking forward to catching this Pleasantville marathon. He had therefore draped his body lazily across the old stuffed chair and didn't plan on moving an inch until it was over."

Thursday, August 25, 2011

Note to Brittany: Do NOT Pick Your Nose!

A very happy and/or creepy (his choice) birthday to director Tim Burton, born on this day in 1958. Among Burton's best-known films are Beetlejuice, The Nightmare Before Christmas, and Edward Scissorhands. Brittany's alter ego on the right is the title character of that last one, although I can't imagine how she plans to hold her pom poms now. At least Kevin may think twice before cheating on her ever again, but on the other hand, it's Kevin--I seriously doubt he ever even thinks once about anything.

Fandom News!

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

An Interview with the Cynic

The "Insider" column "Daria on Fame, Fortune and Film" appeared on this day in 2000, shortly before the premiere of Is It Fall Yet? In it, Daria discussed her life, her goals, and her love of yo-yo tricks. Check out the transcript of the article on the Outpost Daria page, although the link to the article itself is broken.

Fanfic Update!
  • The Author as a Lesbian, by DeacBlue (parts 2 - 4): "'Daria Morgendorffer,' Daria said, suddenly very aware that Jane had wrapped their arms together. 'Okay, and you? What's your name?' The guard asked Jane. 'I'm Tiffany, but I don't know if I'll be on there. I'm Daria's date!' Jane said brightly, laying her head on Daria's shoulder. 'She didn't ask me until this afternoon. Isn't that right, sugarplum?'" (Part 3) (Part 4)

  • Big Brother (Scenes That Should Be: Breakfast of Zombie Champions), by breitasparrow (COMPLETE!): "'Still the Tom thing, huh?' He reached down and wiped her cheek dry with the back of his hand. Jane sat up in her bed and crossed her legs, then grabbed the pillow and held it against her before looking her brother in the eye. 'He said we should have just broken up, as if I felt the same way... I-I didn't want to, though. But it's too late... I already know how he feels. It doesn't matter what I say.' She dropped her head back into the pillow in her lap and began to cry again. Trent placed a hand on her shoulder and waited patiently for her to lift her head and speak again."

  • Chatting with God on the Bus (Iron Chef: Radio Music), by Pumpkin Panic (part 1): "'Do I know you?' the green jacketed girl asked lowering her book slightly. 'I'd like to think you know me a bit, though you've been trying awfully hard not to for the past few years.' She tucked one of her wild curls behind her ear and continued, 'My name is El, Or Yaweh, Ishvah, Akal Purahk, Akambe, Basoga, Shiva, Manitou, Alpha and Omega-' 'Ah so you're insane.'"

  • Daria is Raven's Apprentice, by project pegasus: "Cyborg: I'm sorry, but I'm out. I'll take you to Rome, but I won't be a party to the mission. You can call me if things get hairy, if the Darkwater goons come after you, or if Robin is the killer and he fights back, but you'll have to present me with more evidence before I act as though the captain of our team is a murderer. Raven: Fair enough."

  • Daria, or the Confession of a Single Lonely Male, by Arena del Sur: "I would be a liar to say that the shock of losing Daria cured me of deviation. My accursed nature could not change, no matter how my love for her did. On playgrounds and beaches, my sad and stealthy eyes, against my will, still sought out the flash of a wolphet's limbs, the sly tokens of Daria's handmaids and rosegirls. But one essential vision in me had withered: never did I dwell now on possibilities of bliss with a little maiden, specific or synthetic, in some out-of-the-way place; never did my fancy sink its fangs into Daria's sisters, far far away, in the coves of evoked islands."

  • Dawn of a New Day (Iron Chef: TAKE OUT TRENT LANE!), by DeacBlue (COMPLETE!): "'Y-you aren't going to hurt me, are you?' she stuttered, falling to her knees. He walked up to her and caressed her cheek. 'Not if you're a good girl...' He was going to reach into her dress when his hand was slapped away, hard. He took a moment to shake his hand and look at it, and by then, the girl was standing up and in his face. 'Not hardly.'"

  • Discovery of the Verdean Portal (Interstellar Portals - A worldbuilding scenario), by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 1): "The Portuguese ship stood off near the strange formation in the ocean, that they had just discovered. The captain of the ship was wondering whether to take the ship into the strange formation, that contained similarities to a whirlpool miles across. Except that part of the island nearby also extended down into the formation. 'What do you think Captain? Should we take the ship in?' the first mate asked."

  • The Firing of Upchuck (Iron Chef: Kevin or Upchuck is shot out of a cannon), by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (COMPLETE!): "Aragorn and Gimli carried the squirming Upchuck to the cannon. 'You can't do this to me!' he said. 'You deserve it!' the Dwarf said."

  • God Save The Esteem Ep34: Tom's Addition, by Charles RB (parts 1 and 2): "As the music vomited on, Tom made a surprise appearance, waving at the girls. Following him was a blond girl with piercing ice-coloured eyes and the clothes of a rich person who's trying to look not-rich but has only seen such people in books. 'Hey! Astrid, this is my girlfriend Daria and my friend Jane; Daria, this is the Honourable Astrid Magnus, from Fielding. I don't have to say "Honourable" each time I introduce her but it makes me feel all important and connected.'" (Part 2)

  • God Save the S Team, by Smijey (COMPLETE!): "Jake 'Hannibal' Morgendorffer floored the accelerator on the van as he drove towards Lawndale High. 'Girls, I just want you to know your mother and I realize it's not easy moving to a whole new town -- especially for you, D.A., right?' Daria Anne 'D.A.' Morgendorffer shifted uncomfortably under the weight of her many gold chains. 'Did we move...sucka?' she asked in a hesitantly gravelly voice."

  • Is It Ours Yet?, by RX-87 (part 4): "Back on the ground, Daria and company barely noticed the fighter jets soaring overhead, engrossed as they were by the sight of the black monster. Stacy looked up, her mouth gaping in horror. 'W-what? What the...?' 'Is that the giant robot he was talking about?' Mack wondered aloud, his face showing steely determination, 'Or one of the monsters?'"

  • Lawndale and Sandi Griffin's Genie (Chapter 5), by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 3): "Jake Morgendorffer was bored, he had finished his latest proposal for one of his clients an hour before, and was playing two deck Solitaire. Then the news about the tornado came onto the radio. 'Gaaggghh, Tornado! Here? But Lawndale is nowhere near Tornado Alley!' He ran to the window and looked out. He saw the funnel in the distance. He then went to the phone and dialled his wife's cell number."

  • A New World, by breitasparrow (part 1): "'Are you alright?' Tom asked, snapping Jane back into reality. 'Uh... you wanna go with me to my dorm and help with my stuff?' As soon as the words left her mouth, she almost regretted saying them. Her face heated up - could he see her blushing? She couldn't remember the last time she felt so stupid and nervous."

  • Quinn's Code 03: Cafe Geekdale, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 8): "At the Lane house, Daria was playing the song for Jane in the basement. She had plugged her guitar into Mystik Spiral's equipment. Trent came down the stairs, curious about the unfamiliar song which was coming up from the basement. Daria suddenly noticed that Trent was there and fumbled with the guitar, dropping it into a nearby pile of clothes."

  • Rude Awakening Ep.8: Three Yards and a Cloud of Dust, by DIsaac (part 7): "DANI: We aren't doing anything that could be construed as destructive or dangerous. STACY: You mean we AREN'T doing anything at a station party? DANI: Yep. STACY: We must be losing our game."

  • Save the Last Trance for Me, by jtranser: "'I remember the thing about whom the Gods would destroy, they first make mad.' 'No, Daria, not quite. You see, the Gods are perfectly comfortable with madness and are very protective of those Gods and mortals who practice it on a regular basis. It's the self-hating mad people that are the problem, especially those that are aware of their lunacy and don't want to be lunatics.'"

  • Settling Into A New Life, by RLobinske (part 9): "Daria felt more at ease than she had for a long time. I have what you could almost calla dream job. I like my new home. I have good friends and good family. The only thing keeping things from being perfect is that I have a good husband – who is too far away. I can't wait for him to be done and finally get to join me down here."

  • Shadows of a Timeless Song, by Dennis (part 8): "Before Daria could answer, the subject of their conversation burst into the room, bushy hair flying. 'Daria,' she said, 'take a look at this. I told you I'm right about Badon Hill and this proves it!' 'I think that's my cue to do a magic trick of my own,' Jane said, and slipped out of the room. Sighing, Daria took the book. Bound in leather with ornate gilding, it was another of the hefty tomes, Hermione seemed to favor. 'What am I supposed to be looking it?' 'Last page,' Hermione said, breathless."

  • Trennt and Odell's Excellent Adventure (Iron Chef: TAKE OUT TRENT LANE!), by Smijey (COMPLETE!): "Odell smirked. 'Trennt, you fool. Don't you know the rules about Evil Parallel Universes?'"

  • Unexpected Packages, by J-D (COMPLETE!): He was walking past the park, on the way to where he'd parked his car, and he could see somebody seated on one of the benches, but obviously not looking at him. The figure on the bench was too preoccupied with his drinking to pay any attention to anybody else's misery. Chuck looked again. It wasn't just 'somebody' on the bench.""

  • Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Daria and Quinn, Best Friends), by Ardneh (COMPLETE!): "Just as they reached the exit, Daria jumped when she felt someone tapping her shoulder. 'Daria, don't leave me here,' Quinn pleaded. 'I know you and Aunt Amy are bailing. Please, let me come with you. I can't take any more of this.' Daria looked Amy, who shrugged her shoulders. 'Sure, sis. This place isn't for the faint of heart,' Daria said as she watched the mayhem spread across the room."

  • Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Daria Dating Service), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "'Hello! My name is Brittany, and I'm looking for a guy....'"

  • Unnamed story (Iron Daria ... Man), by Grifter74: "A synthesized voice answered almost immediately, 'Hello, Ms. Morgendorffer. How may I help you?' 'Hi, Jarvis. Please connected me to Mr. Stark.' Daria said."

  • Unnamed story (Scenes That Should Be: Breakfast of Zombie Champions), by Silver (COMPLETE!): "'I can't be certain, but my math was off.' Jodie sighed, turning around. Even with the rumble of the Better-Than-Light Drive, this were almost eerily silent. 'It would seem we've accidentally destroyed the universe.'"

Monday, August 22, 2011

It's a Writer Birthday Two-Fer!

Happy birthday to both Ray Bradbury and Dorothy Parker, born in 1920 and 1893. Jake appears to be portraying The Illustrated Man, one of Bradbury's short story collections, on the right. Also, I bet you anything that Daria would be a fan of Dorothy Parker, thanks to the writer's sharp wit and gift for satire.

Fandom News!

Sunday, August 21, 2011

Bring Out Your Captions!

Another caption contest provided by Arena del Sur!

Why is Daria smiling? Post your captions in the comments!

Friday, August 19, 2011

Do Potatoes Have Low Self-Esteem?

Today is National Potato Day, so Mr. O'Neill is doing his part to celebrate. Today also happens to be National Aviation Day, and if you combined the two holidays I suppose you'd get flying potatoes. Perhaps a potato gun is in order? If Mr. O'Neill is involved, I'm all for it.

Also, happy birthday to both Gene Roddenberry and Bill Clinton, born on this day in 1921 and 1946, respectively. One gave us Star Trek and the other gave us never-ending cigar jokes. Good times all around.

Fanfic Update!

  • The Author as a Lesbian, by DeacBlue (part 1): "Daria walked out into the hallway and gently closed the door to Mrs. Manson's office behind her. Smooth, Morgendorffer. Just because she mispronounced your name - twice - you get into a battle that you can't win with someone that might actually start Mom and Dad thinking and digging."

  • Boxing Ms. Morgendorffer, by Chris Tucker (part 9): "As Jane got off the train at South Station, she was not the least bit surprised to see Daria standing on the platform, grinning broadly, at the reality of seeing her best friend in person after more than half a year. The two embraced and hugged for a while. 'I'll let Daria decide when to let go. She needs this far more than I.' Indeed, Daria broke the embrace a few moments later. Knowing her friend's moods all too well, Jane held out the wad of paper napkins she'd grabbed in the cafe car of the train."

  • Common Enemy: A Daria/Babylon 5/Command and Conquer - Crossover (Crossovers Still Crossing Over), by Wassersauefer (parts 1 - 3): "The whole space station shuddered under the impact of yet more enemy fire and the lights flickered, but none of this mattered to Lieutenant Lane, who was busy fighting for her very life. She snarled and lunged at her enemy, the former shooting match had long since been degraded into an all out brawl. Kevlar-armanit-armor against battle pikes, crystal-armor against combat knifes, blue against black, Minbari against Humans." (Part 2) (Part 3)

  • The Consequence of Guilt (Iron Chef: Daria on glitterberries), by OverlordMikey (COMPLETE!): "It had been an accident; it was supposed to be a prank. She got the guys to get her the berries, but didn’t tell them anything more. She then tricked Daria into consuming them. She thought it’d be funny, but then Daria tried to fly - tried to fly off the school roof that is."

  • Courier and Ives and Ashtrays, by Lord Yellowtail (COMPLETE!): "With some effort, she willed herself to think of happier times, when her father had been at his most sober and most affectionate. It had always been when he pulled himself together enough to work on the bike, and led her into their old, rundown barn and taught her everything he knew about how to fix it up and make it run like new. Still, he spent ninety percent of his conscious hours in a drunken stupor."

  • Daria, or the Confession of a Single Lonely Male, by Arena del Sur: "Da crawled out and shivered a little: the evening air was decidedly crisp. Upon entering the cabin, she lay down on a bed, buried her face in the crook of her arm and said she felt awful. Then I look and discover with outrageous horror that her face and neck was covered with a bright, red rash. Daria ill. Daria dying. Her skin was scalding hot!"

  • Given Up (Iron Chef: Radio Music), by LadieT (COMPLETE!): "Daria stared up at the ceiling, her face drenched in sweat. It was almost midnight and she had just awoken from another nightmare. Ever since she had kissed Tom and destroyed her friendship with Jane in the process, she couldn't get an entire night's sleep. Shame still haunted her."

  • Last Friday Night (Iron Chef: Radio Music), by Wassersauefer (COMPLETE!): "At 14 pm the Griffins left their house and drove their two sons to a friend where they were spending the weekend. At 15 pm the Fashion-Club arrived to coordinate their outfits and makeup and all that stuff. Five hours later they and the house was ready for the first partygoers. At 22 pm pandemonium was ruling the household and total chaos was master of all. Sandi had long given up and –"

  • Mad Dog's Legacy Chapter 10: Rock On, by Hyrin (part 5): "'I understand that I upset you and Jane today, and I’m sorry. I just...I want us to be a family again.' 'Were we ever a family to start with?' Trent asked, forcing his voice to stay neutral. 'I can’t think of a time that you and mom were home for more than a month at a time, and Wind, Summer and Penny all skipped out as soon as they got the chance.'"

  • Oh Well (Iron Chef: Daria on glitterberries), by LadieT (COMPLETE!): "Quinn looked at her cellphone. It had almost been two hours since she made Daria the chocolate glitterberry milkshake. She couldn't wait to go into her sister's room to take pictures of Daria bouncing off her padded walls. The only trouble was she hadn't heard any noise coming from the room."

  • Payback! (Iron Chef: Daria on glitterberries), by DIsaac (COMPLETE!): "'How did I get here?' 'You remember that camping trip?' 'Please for the love of god don't say-' 'I gave some glitterberries yesterday. I snuck it in your firecracker chicken at Good Time Chinese restaurant.'"

  • Save the Last Trance for Me, by jtranser: "Jane said: 'One of the everyday things You have to do as a God is display Your command of languages.' 'I can do that!' 'In your case, Sandi, it'll be better if you keep quiet...' Angered, Sandi replied: 'Just because I'm not a God, you make it sound like I'm stupid!!!' 'Daria, You didn't tell her?' 'No, but I did check out her voice sample against the Stupidity Spectrum...' 'And?' 'Let's just say, the graphs don't lie...'"

  • Settling Into A New Life, by RLobinske (part 8): "Karen said, 'We're not going to let you go without at least having some fun tonight.' 'I'm still working on that whole "fun" thing,' Daria replied. CC grinned. 'Don't worry. We're professionals.' 'That's what I'm afraid of.'"

  • Snark of the Swarm (Crossovers Still Crossing Over), by Yogi (COMPLETE!): "However, it appeared that Jane was too late. The surface of the cocoon was already rippling and heaving, a clear indication that whatever monstrosity it contained would soon be hatched. Taking stock of the surrounding area, Jane had just started to plan the push towards the cocoon when the thing began twitching. With a final convulsive shudder, it didn’t so much as crack open as collapse, sloughing off in wet chunks as the figure it was protecting stepped out. It wasn’t Daria."

  • Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Daria on glitterberries), by RX-87 (COMPLETE!): "The Self-Transforming Machine Elf gave an irritating, smug metallic giggle as the golden horns on its forehead folded together and it pulled its gigantic alabaster cranium into a shiny blue torso that never should have been capable of accommodating it, while simultaneously pulling its arms inward, reversing its knees, unfolding its tail and spreading its shimmering red and black wings to fly away."

  • Unnamed story (Iron Chef: If I Forget You: Daria's Turn), by LadieT (COMPLETE!): "Jodie led her into the bathroom. 'Daria and Mr. DeMartino were working at Mr. O'Neill's "Ok to Cry Corral" for the summer. Right before the Fourth of July, they were taking a bus load of campers for a hike when the driver lost control and they careened off the side of the mountain. When Daria didn't come home that night, Mrs. Morgendorffer called the police. After a two-day search, the wreckage was found. The only person who survived was Daria, who had been trapped on the bus with two broken legs and a very bad head injury.'"

  • Unnamed story (Iron Chef - Jodie the Inventor), by Chris Tucker: "She nudged Josephine. 'Git over to the radar station, something's up with Link. Scoot!' 'I'm there 5 minutes ago!' She replied. She unplugged her headset and trotted for the door. 'Link, Josephine is headin' over to th' radar shack. What's goin' on? Over' 'Foo fighters. Over.' 'Shit. Over.'"

  • Unnamed Story (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: Last Friday Night!), by DigiSim: "'I can't breathe, Mother. I can't breathe!'" (Continued by Ixmythot) (Continued by Smijey)

  • Wings (Iron Chef: Daria on glitterberries), by respite (COMPLETE!): "Daria took a sip of the smoothie on her way to Jane's, and noticed that she felt somewhat more awake. 'Hm. Must have some of those slimming amphetamines in the mix,' she thought, and paid the sensation little mind. Jane was ready to go when Daria arrived, and the two headed off to Lawndale High together as Daria took a healthy slug."

  • You Shouldn't Kiss Me Like This (Iron Chef: Radio Music), by Hyrin (COMPLETE!): "Jane smiled to herself. The night had gone much better than she had anticipated it would. Meeting Tom at the Zon had been a stroke of luck, and even if Daria had left the club before they got back from getting dinner, Mystik Spiral's second set had been tolerable enough (especially since Jane hadn't really listened to any of it)."

Thursday, August 18, 2011

"You like convertibles?"

Today is the anniversary of either a major fandom high point or a major fandom low point, depending on your perspective. On August 18, 1999, Tom Sloane made his first appearance in the episode "Jane's Addition." Some fans love him, some fans hate him, and some fall somewhere in between. You can't deny, however, that the boy was controversial. And I refuse to even mention The Kiss. (Oh, wait, I just did. Dammit!)

This is also Bad Poetry Day, and never has this little gem been more appropriate to post:

The greasy fry,
It cannot lie;
Its truth is written
On your thighs.


Fandom News!

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Strike a Pose!

Happy birthday to Madonna, born on this day in 1958! Helen's doing Madonna's famous "Vogue" pose on the left, which is one of several Daria alter egos related to the singer.

Fan artist Kemical Reaxion has also done a series of drawings showcasing Madonna's various "faces" using Daria characters, which is worth a look whether you're a Madonna fan or not. Enjoy!

Fanfic Update!
  • Daria/Dorian Ch. 15: Summertime Blues, by LadieT (COMPLETE!): "They looked down at the field and saw what had caught Jane's attention. Dorian's hair was down and the muscle shirt he was wearing was sticking to him from sweat. He was swatting down a pass that Kevin had thrown to Mack. When the play was over, Mack nudged Dorian and pointed up to the stands. A smile came over Dorian's face as he waved to the three."

  • Esteemster Series, by TheExcellentS (part 9): "Barch: 'Oh for crying out loud... Brittany would have been just fine defending herself! Now he might have just lost what was left of his cruciate ligaments.' O'Neill: 'Thompson makes the heroic sacrifice to protect Taylor, but Wilkins might have just ended his career with that.' Barch: 'It's possible. I mean, I don't like the man but I don't want to see him injured... kind of.'"

  • A Fish Drowning Herself, by untra (COMPLETE!): "Jane took a long hard look at the profile page before taking a deep sigh. 'You know, It's probably just me, but I have a feeling you're not ready to be back in a relationship just yet.'"

  • God Save The Esteem 33: A Headbutt of Dollars, by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): "The group walked into the bar and a thousand (okay, fifty nine) eyes stared back at them. Old eyes. Bitter eyes. Hippie eyes. And hippie hair. And hippie wrinkles (it had been a while since the 60s). And if the beer could be hippie beer, it would be. 'We won’t have to do that Cher song, will we?' asked Max in fear."

  • Homeless Daria Episode 3: A College Try Gives Me Blisters, by RX-87 (part 15): "A look of mild revulsion crossed Amy's face. 'He really seems to have an appreciation for...' 'The finer things?' 'Eyeballs.'"

  • The Honeymoon, by LadieT (COMPLETE!): "'I'm worried about you. You haven't spent an entire night with me since I was released. Are you afraid you're going to hurt me?' her wife asked in a voice barely above a whisper. Jodie stood silently. She didn't want to tell the other woman her fear - not yet. Not in this moment. Tightening her grip slightly, Jodie placed her head against her wife's shoulder, only to have it lifted up."

  • Jane Lane (Crossovers Still Crossing Over), by Wraith (COMPLETE!): "Jane Lane checked into her room / Only to find Gideon's bible / Jane had come with a glue-gun / To stick down the legs of her rival"

  • Judith Green-Rooms! (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: Last Friday Night!), by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): "JUDITH: Look, I see your point of view but let's be real here: the character stops working if he goes out with Veronica, he's no longer audience identification- ARCHANGEL: You've made this argument before and again, nobody reading that comic has ever been like Archie and still... NEGAJANE: (off camera) Hey, my butt itches, can we move yet?"

  • Last Chick Standing (Daria: The Last Woman), by The Angst Guy (COMPLETE!): "That was last night, hours ago. Now the other half of the human race had decided someone was responsible for zapping the women and had gone into full macho battle gear. Could the human race even do such a thing as destroy all its women? It did not seem likely. Too advanced technologically. Maybe aliens did it. Maybe the men were fighting aliens and not each other. Who cared?"

  • Red Nightmare (Iron Chef: Wrath of the Red Tide), by The Angst Guy (COMPLETE!): "Student witnesses agreed that Daria had attempted to get Mr. Sherman's attention by saying 'Excuse me' or something to that effect, and he was in the process of casually responding to their request—using Tommy's trademark humor, said the prosecutor—when the petite Daria Morgendorffer (five-foot-two, one hundred nineteen pounds) dropped her books and jammed a sharpened Number 2 pencil into Mr. Sherman's groin."

  • Rude Awakening Ep.8: Three Yards and a Cloud of Dust, by DIsaac (part 6): "UPCHUCK: Ok, I'm about to describe a guy to you and I'm about to ask you 'In High school, Would you of dated him?' SANDI: OK, shoot. UPCHUCK: this guy has more then $50 million in the bank and his net worth is about $200 million at the time. SANDI: I'm dating him! UPCHUCK (snickering and laughing out loud in the place): What is wrong with you? I haven't even finished the description and you wanted to bag him? SANDI: What he's sounds good catch? He's rich. UPCHUCK: No - he isn't you moron! That person was ME IN HIGH SCHOOL! I was the most repulsive dork in the world! Good god woman what is wrong with you? SANDI: I was blinded by the cash and Fashion club needed better intel."

  • Settling Into A New Life, by RLobinske (part 7): "Daria said, 'It's good to see all of you, too.' 'Oh, hi Daria,' Jane said. 'I thought we'd stop in for a little bickering and complaining. I hope you don't mind.' 'The place has been too quiet for the last month, I can use some hardcore complaining,' Daria said."

  • The Tiger and The Wolf, by LadieT (COMPLETE!): "She looked at the creature, in it's beauty and mystery, as it sat in the front of it's cage staring worriedly into the cage next to it. Jane's attention soon turned to the creature that was in the attached cage. The lone grey wolf, whose eyes were etched in sadness, sat in the corner of it's enclosure, directly looking at the tiger - with it's paw lightly tapping the bars that seperated the two creatures. Jane watched in amazement as the tiger made it's way over to the wolf, their paws now barely touching."

  • Two Halves: Chapter 6 - Role Models, by Dark Kuno (COMPLETE!): "'It's just not fair that they gave the contract to Kevin,' complained Quinn loudly. 'I mean he wasn't even supposed to be in the class in the first place.' 'Sooooo unfair,' droned Tiffany as the girls stopped at their lockers. 'Gee Kuh-Winn, I wonder if they didn't get a bad image of the girls from you and your sister disrupting the class so much,' accused Sandi. 'What?' asked a surprised Quinn."

  • Unnamed story (Iron Chef - Jodie the Inventor), by Chris Tucker: "It was Jane. 'Heads up, Doc! The drawings are gone, as is the fellow Josephine encountered. The officer who was supposed to be there is stretched out in the vault, with a goose egg on the back of his head. Colonel White has been informed and is on the horn with the local civilian authorities. I've alerted the M.P.s and they're scrambling to chase a jeep that left the south gate a few minutes ago.'"

  • Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Kevin is shot out of a cannon), by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): "'Hold it... wait... FIRE AT WILL!'"

  • Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Kevin is shot out of a cannon), by LadieT (COMPLETE!): "Mack: Hiya, Bro & QB here and we are ready to launch our newest flavor of ice cream that will be hitting the freezers next week. Kevin (crawling into the cannon): Hey Mack Daddy - are we sure we need me shooting out of a cannon for this commercial?"

  • Unnamed story (Iron Chef - The Metalocalypse Starts In Lawndale!), by Aruphonse (part 3): "Daria and Jane are walking to school. Daria's face sports a very annoyed expression. They stop. 'Stop following me.' Our camera zooms out and we see that the five members of Dethklok are about three paces behind Daria and Jane. They're all wearing sunglasses."

  • Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: Last Friday Night!), by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "'Daria, did you see that?' 'Did I just see Kevin turn into a genie, yell "I must save the forest! Urinal cakes, away!", and fly off on a giant loofah?'"

  • Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: Last Friday Night!), by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): "'Hey, we're Mystic Spiral. And this song goes out to Daria and Jane. *ahem*'"

  • Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: Last Friday Night!), by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): "'Nurse Janey.' Daria’s face was blanker that it had ever been before. Jane shrugged. 'What can I say? Artists need day jobs.' 'Night job, in this case.'"

  • Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: Last Friday Night!), by Doggieboy (COMPLETE!): "With one last grunt, Scarlett pulled off the old skin and handed it to Roger. Off in a corner, Smokey the cat licked one of her front paws. As the teen put back on her clothes, she looked at her companion and said, 'It's your turn.'"

Monday, August 15, 2011

"Why are we going to Alternapalooza? Ugh. Isn't that for girls who don't shave?"

The rock concert Alternapalooza, mentioned but not actually seen in "Road Worrier," began on this day in 1997 (maybe). Although the gang didn't make it there in canon, Alternapalooza has been featured at least in some form in plenty of fanfics, including:

While you check those out, here's the latest fandom news!

Saturday, August 13, 2011

Lefties Unite!

Happy International Lefthanders Day to you all! Brittany is still figuring out whether or not she's included in this celebration, but for all of you who didn't get forced to switch in remedial art, right on! Er...I mean, left on! Oh, you know what I mean.

Today is also the anniversary of Alfred Hitchcock's birthday. Born in 1899, Hitchcock was a filmaker known for his mastery of the suspense genre. The only canon reference to the man I've been able to dig up was Tom inviting Daria to the Hitchcock Festival to see Rope in Is It College Yet?. Surprisingly, I have been unable to uncover any Hitchcock crossovers in fanfic, either. Can anyone prove me wrong? And if not, what are you all waiting for? Start writing!

New Fanfic!
  • The Courtyard (Iron Chef: Biological Parents), by The Angst Guy (COMPLETE!): "And there would be the courtyard. It appears in my dreams even now, the courtyard I saw in a painting my mother kept in the attic, which she showed to me and said was something my father did when he was young and struggling to make a living at his craft. The only father I knew I had, though, was never a painter. He told me so himself."

  • Daria is Raven's Apprentice, by project pegasus: "Answering Machine: ::Beep:: 'Good afternoon, this is Dr. Shar again. Please give me a call back.' ::Beep:: 'Dr. Shar again. I just wanted to confirm that I did get your package: pne left foot, one severed head, one pair of eyebrows and a severed penis. Everything is in order, though in the future, please show more compunction when packing the ice.'"

  • Daria, or the Confession of a Single Lonely Male, by Arena del Sur: "The reader must now forget Chestnuts and Excaliburs, and accompany us further west. The following days were marked by a number of great thunderstorms, or perhaps it was but one single storm, which progressed across country with ponderous leaps as a frog, and which we could not shake off as the Pink Panther, the same way we could not shake off the detective that follow our path. For it was during those days that the problem of the red Corvette presented itself to me."

  • DW: The Many Doctors (Chapter 3), by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 1): "Suddenly the access hatch that the Doctor and his companions had used to enter the bridge slammed shut! 'There is only one way out of this bridge now,' Sigrun said. Then a voice rasped over the bridge comm system... 'Exter-min-ate!'"

  • Mad Dog's Legacy Chapter 10: Rock On, by Hyrin (part 4): "'Dad?' Jane shouted. All the roadies looked up, and Jane immediately found her father in the bunch. She stalked over to him and delivered a slap to the face that, thanks to the microphone he was setting up, was heard in every corner of Alternapalooza."

  • Mixed Game (Long Story Challenge #5 Round 2), by LSauchelli (part 2): "Jane didn’t want to watch, but couldn’t do anything else. She never pegged Daria as someone who could kick ass, at least not in that manner. She looked down at her weapon and decided that it wasn’t a portal gun anymore, it was now a hammer. So, she started hammering the vents until it was out of her way. She moved quickly to get out and help her friend, but noticed that she was far to high. She had special boots to resist such heights, but she had to land on her feet."

  • The NEW Teacher (Long Story Challenge #5 Round 2), by DIsaac (part 2): "I have a reason that I haven't written in this thing in a while. Jane Lane is missing. That was hard for me to write that. It means that my best friend, only actual friend in this godforsaken town is gone and we don't know where she is or even what the hell happen."

  • Only the Best (The Lÿrds of the Wÿrd declare WAR on this dominion), by The Angst Guy (COMPLETE!): "'Your father and I are proud of you, dear. We really are.' 'Thank you, Mom.' 'Even if you did go behind our backs and apply to a school that we told you wasn't right for you.'"

  • Settling Into A New Life, by RLobinske (part 6): "Daria pushed thoughts of waking alone in her bed away when she opened the classroom door. Grateful that the room was empty, she turned on the lights, placed her briefcase on the instructor's desk and opening it. She turned, picked up a black marker and wrote on the large whiteboard, 'ENC 1102 – English Composition II. Dr. Morgendorffer.' Next, she took a stack of a paper from the briefcase and placed them on the corner of the desk. Then, she sat down and waited."

  • Unnamed story (IC: What would Lawndale be like if...), by DigiSim (COMPLETE!): "Daria sat at her computer, staring at the blank screen. Usually she would have no trouble coming up with a subject for a school assignment. But Mr. DeMartino, pop-eyed bastard that he is, demanded an essay from everyone detailing a turning point in the life of one person in the current White House administration."

  • Unnamed story (Iron Chef - Jodie the Inventor), by Chris Tucker: "Doc leaned back in her chair. There were only two Raven interceptors left in one piece. These last few flights were make or break for the whizbang and the aircraft it pushed through the sky. If the Raven could be perfected, 1000 of them would forever keep the skies over Britain clear of German airplanes. 10000 would clear the skies of Fortress Europa from the Channel all the way to Stalingrad. Assuming the heat seeking ACK ACK robot bombs worked as reliably in combat as they did here at the Alamogordo Proving Grounds. 'Enough woolgatherin' Morgendorffer. Time to hitch up yer britches, girl.'"

  • Unnamed story (Iron Chef - The Metalocalypse Starts In Lawndale!), by Aruphonse (parts 1 and 2): "'We're on a deadline for the next album and Nathan says that he needs me with my negativity at maximum or they won't be able to finish it in time.' 'Since when do they care for deadlines?' 'Since mom made them sign a contract which specifies that in case of them not meeting deadline she'll cancel all cable TV subscriptions except for the edutaiment channels.'" (Part 2)

  • Unnamed story (Iron Chef - The Metalocalypse Starts In Lawndale!), by Erin M. (COMPLETE!): "'Gentlemen, Dethklok has acquired a new muse. Her name is Daria Morgendorffer. She is a 17-year-old student attending school in the small suburban town of Lawndale.'"

  • Unnamed story (PLOT BUNNIES: free to good home), by cfardell_Brenorenz29: "Jane realised where she knew that voice and accent from. 'Upchuck?' 'That's General Upchuck to you!' Upchuck said, in English. 'So you ended up in Isengard, huh? Did the Wizard offer you an offer you couldn't refuse? A harem of Dunlendish women?' Jane asked, also in English. 'Feisty!' Upchuck said."

  • Unnamed story (PLOT BUNNIES: free to good home), by Trscroggs (parts 1 and 2): "Jane tried to keep her expression as bland and non-threatening as possible as a matter of course, but she felt her expression go even flatter when the new student walked into her History class. Normally Jane would have pegged the blonde haired new-comer looked preppy and attractive and dismissed her, but the faint halo over her head and ghostly wings floating around her back marked her as one of the Angel Born." (Part 2)

  • Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: Last Friday Night!), by breitasparrow (COMPLETE!): "'Hey! You got your herpes in my whipped cream!' Erin yelled."

Friday, August 12, 2011


Today is the anniversary of the birth of Erwin Schrödinger, who might have had a cat. Or maybe he didn't. Either way, he was born in 1887 and his famous thought experiment was the main inspiration for The Angst Guy's fanfic Schrödinger's Tiger. So really, everyone wins...except maybe the cat.

Fandom News!

Wednesday, August 10, 2011


Happy birthday to the late Henri Nestlé, born 197 years ago today. He was the founder of the Nestlé company, which makes (among other, less important things) chocolate. Sure, it may not be at the top of everyone's list for quality, but some of us aren't too terribly discriminating about it.

Besides, as Jane Lane will tell you, the only kind of chocolate worth eating is unauthorized chocolate. Bwa-ha-ha-ha.

Fanfic Update!
  • Cereal Offender (Iron Chef: A Constrained Tale), by The Angst Guy (COMPLETE!): "'What is THAT?' cried wild-eyed Jake, racing through the house in his underwear at seven a.m. 'It's a UNICORN!' shrieked Helen, close behind him in a ripped nightgown. 'Never seen one up close before!'"

  • Dark Future: Road Worrier, by Charles RB (part 5): "A minute later, an unshaven, eyepatched drifter came out of the bar with a shiv and tried to open the door. 'Daria, don't wave at the murderer.' 'I'm just trying to make friends like you told me to do.' The murderer stabbed the window, to no avail. 'And it worked as well as I told you it would.'"

  • For A Friend (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: Last Friday Night!), by breitasparrow (COMPLETE!): "'Whoa, man. This is deep,' he said to himself. Just then, Daria walked back into the room. 'Um, Trent? What are you doing?' she said. Trent slowly stood up and walked to her. 'Daria, that story spoke to me. I always knew you were a great writer, but... wow.'"

  • General Semantics, Private Angst, by gwrtheyrn (part 40): "'The links have been down for two days, and the science types say it's sabotage, not sunspots. Eldrao told me that you'd been arrested there; that's the last direct report I know of. But image analysis from the VLA has confirmed what the Games Machine broadcast last night: there are two alien fleets in Solar space, one in the Belt, one in the Oort Cloud. I think Vitale split his fleet to keep back a reserve, but -- no telling what they're doing in the Belt. Anyway, the invasion is public knowledge. Now, we're all caught between the feces and the fan.'"

  • Ghost Girl chapter four, by Pumpkin Panic (parts 3 and 4): "Daria had noticed a strange absence of spirits as she walked to school. Usually a couple found her and followed her for a while till they reached there boundaries if they had them and then they would fade away. This made it easier to ignore them. If Jane had noticed she hadn't mentioned anything. Then again the ghosts could hide themselves to Jane in a way they couldn't to Daria and Daria almost envied her for that. It was a pity she noticed the absence of the ghosts and not the very real car that tailed her and Jane wherever they went.'" (Part 4)

  • God Save The Esteem 33: A Headbutt of Dollars, by Charles RB (part 4): "'I... I can get y'all as far as Happy Dawg's, you can find your way from there...' Travis turned away from Tom, realised he'd have to look at Killer Quinn, turned back to Tom. 'What y'all doing in Fremont anyway?' 'Busting people outta prison,' said Quinn. 'That's nice,' said Travis in a very strangled, please-don't-kill-me voice. 'I'm a singer.'"

  • The House of Cards, by Doggieboy (part 7): "Those dreams faded away and finally stopped before I turned fifteen. Last night, though, he came back. This time, he was in the barn with me, Scarlett and the others. The events of that damned day more or less repeated themselves as they actually happened. But there was one thing different this time. By the end of the dream, I wasn't the wolf. I was Death himself."

  • Legends Of The Metal, by TheExcellentS (part 15): "'You sure you weren't in a...' Tom took a deep breath and shook his head. He never thought he'd have to utter this sequence of words ever again. '...second wave of American tween melodic rap metalcore band?' The red-haired one, Jeffy, shook his head. 'I don't know half the words you just said, but I heard metal.' 'Yeah!' yelled the blonde, Jamie, 'We love metal!' Well, then. I think I know which version of The Three Js I prefer."

  • Revenge of the Demon Plot Bunnies (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: Last Friday Night!), by gwrtheyrn (COMPLETE!): "When Daria Morgendorffer attained her fourteenth birthday, five years after they had come to Earth, her grandfather, feeling that necessary aspects of her education had been developed insufficiently, began the practice of strolling with her at night through the rougher parts of various cities. A few months later, two footpads who accosted them, shortly before one Friday midnight in an Antwerp back alley, became her first kills."

  • Rude Awakening Ep.8: Three Yards and a Cloud of Dust, by DIsaac (part 5): "JODIE: Well by working here at WHUB - I have become an expert in the craziness of life and work. BRITTANY: They don't seem that crazy. JODIE: Oh, that is because this is the calm before the storm, Brittany. It's coming. It will ALWAYS come!"

  • Siamese Esteemsters (IC: We are Siamese, if you please), by TAT_Man (COMPLETE!): "Helen - Easy, Jake. Focus. (to Daria) We tell you over and over again that you're wonderful and you just... don't... get it! (slams fists on table) What's wrong with you?! Quinn - Is she going to have, like, a breakdown or something? 'Cause I would hate to have to drag her drooling body every where I went."

  • Unnamed story (Iron Chef: A Constrained Tale), by Hyrin (COMPLETE!): "Daria and Jane walked down the street, discussing Daria's date with Tom the previous night. 'Never seen one up close before,' Daria mused wistfully as Jane blushed slightly. Suddenly, a creature stepped out of legend and into the intersection next to them."

  • Unnamed story (Iron Chef: A Constrained Tale), by RX-87 (COMPLETE!): "An ajar door caught her eye and she slipped in. It came as quite a shock to her, the sheer size of the room she found herself in. She'd heard of how huge the industrial facilities in the colonies were, but seeing it for herself was something else entirely. But what was in the center of that room was what really set her teeth on edge."

  • Unnamed story (Iron Chef: A Constrained Tale), by Vukodlak (COMPLETE!): "Tom smiled looking down at Daria's sleeping form cuddled up next to him. They were having a picnic in the park and she had fallen asleep cuddled up against him. Daria shifted in her sleep and for a moment Tom could see down her shirt. 'What is that?' he mumbled to himself looking at what he thought he could a tattoo... on her chest between her... his face flushed red at the thought."

  • Unnamed story (Iron Chef - Jodie the Inventor), by Chris Tucker: "A scream of utter terror shattered the evening calm. There were four women billeted in the Quonset hut that was the BOQ, three of them were in one room playing penny ante poker, the fourth had left to use the bathroom. Before the scream had faded, the three had leapt from their seats, grabbed pistols and bolted from the room."

  • Unnamed story (PLOT BUNNIES: free to good home), by RX-87: "'Again, you have no fucking self awareness. I never would have slept with Ann if you'd actually been here for me. You're always blowing me off to go fool around with that brainy bitch from Raft. Don't think I don't know what you're really up to. What is it, Jane? That whole naughty librarian thing get you wet? "Oh, I promise I'll be quiet..."' Paris might have said more if Jane had not chosen that moment to knock two of her front teeth out."

  • Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: Last Friday Night!), by RX-87 (COMPLETE!): "Rubbing the still-sore spot on her forehead where Daria had stabbed her with that strange needle, she turned to look at her friend for the first time. Jane didn't even know how she'd gotten in, she wasn't expecting her, but right now it didn't matter. She'd simply startled her, coming up and telling Jane she had a surprise, then pricked her head, inducing a strange, horrible sensation, the worst pain Jane had felt since the accident, but when it subsided she could see again. Twelve years of darkness gone in an instant."

  • Untitled Short, by Silver (COMPLETE!): "It was a tree. That's all it was. 'Keep telling yourself that, Sandy.'"

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

"Zappa digital...Zappa analog."

Happy Frank Zappa Day! Technically it's only a holiday in Baltimore, but if Lawndale is really a suburb of that city, then I think it's actually even more appropriate!

Just remember to listen to Zappa on vinyl, or you might miss the rich tone as he sells fish sticks. Standing on aluminum foil is optional.

Fandom News!