Sunday, March 31, 2013

Upchuck's Easter Miracle

Happy Easter to those who celebrate it! The bunnies on the right aren't delivering colored eggs, but I don't think we'll hear Upchuck complaining about it. The rest of us can enjoy these Easter-themed fanfics and fanart courtesy of the Sh33p's Fluff:
Today is also the anniversary of both "Malled" and "The F Word" in 1997 and 2000. Not a whole lot about rabbits or eggs there, but we did get to find out about Mrs. Bennett's Fuzzy Wuzzy Wee-Bit addiction in one and get a disturbing glimpse of Mr. O'Neill's apartment in the other.

Friday, March 29, 2013

Don't Fight the Dip!

Happy National Mom and Pop Business Owners Day! Earl and Barbara would like to offer you some homemade cheese sandwiches. Make sure you unwrap the cheese before you bite into them, though.

Today is also the anniversary of the original airdate of "The New Kid" in 1998. Can I offer you some gum to go with that cheese sandwich?

Fanfic Update!
  • ARC Ch.6 Drowned in a cappuccino, by ST91 (part 4): "The rest of the short journey passed in silence and then, when Charles turned down the private road leading to his house, he said, 'Here we are.' Jane gasped. Charles' house was a beautiful villa in colonial style with an enormous garden studied in minute detail."

  • Daria and Jane: On Why There Aren't Any 'Daria as a Black Girl' Fanfics (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Ever Have: Sick, Sad Edition), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "Jane: 'So Daria, I've been going through some old Iron Chefs and I've noticed that any that involve you being born black or interracial don't seem to gain much traction.'"

  • Darius Taylor, by Shiva (part 4): "As Elsie drove them home after they had spent a good three hours celebrating the start of summer with the 'Cool Townies' (as Elsie and Tom had christened them), Darius's phone blew up."

  • Dylan, by J-D (part 18d): "'That sales technique of yours turned out to be surprisingly effective', said Rod, who'd been watching with interest. 'It was a mistake.' 'You impressed me', said Tierney, who'd woken up some time earlier. 'Thanks.' The expression on her face made Dylan feel uncomfortable."

  • Getting Back Together (In the most ass backwards way possible) (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Ever Have: Sick, Sad Edition), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "'Oh goodie the pizza's here!' Timothy O'Neill cheered as the doorbell rang. As he headed to the door he did feel another stab of sadness, after all it had only been a month since Janet had died."

  • God Save the Sexy Esteem (Scenes that should be: Polite Requests), by Shiva (parts 1 and 2): "After being driven in the worlds only punked out station wagon, Daria waited for a second to let Killer have her fun before stepping out of the car, and planting the sick idea that they hadn't moved at all in her father's head." (Part 2)

  • Inner Universe, by malakite (part 7): "Jane, as usual, sat alone in the cafeteria eating her unusually meager lunch. She spoke with a clear and amused tone to her sandwich 'So, now Kevin's my lab partner.Next best thing to working alone.' No one else gave this even the slightest attention."

  • Irony Maiden 01, by BF110C4 (COMPLETE!): "A groggy voice then came from the bed. 'Why are you telling me the surf conditions Amy if you know I don't do surf?' Everyone who then heard the answer would no longer believe the voice to be something as mundane as an alarm." (Part 3)

  • Judicium (Scenes that should be: Polite Requests), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "'So how did a good-ol' boy like you wind up in a place like this?' Daria asked of the guy in the ten-gallon cowboy hat."

  • Love is Strange, by Shiva (part 3): "Daria and Jane came within range just in time to hear Quinn Morgendorffer scream, 'Dammit Evan! You got too close to me with your Nut World smell. I'm allergic to pistachio dye and now I'm breaking out! My life is over!'"

  • LSD, by PrecambrianStudios (part 2): "For Daria, being Deaf had never particularly troubled her."

  • More Sick, And Not as Much Sad (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Ever Have: Sick, Sad Edition), by PrecambrianStudios (COMPLETE!): "Upchuck raised the whip into the air and brought it down on Daria's naked back. She screamed as the flesh tore off her body. Without avail, she tried to struggle out of her bonds: a set of old stockades."

  • Sexy Daria: The Misery Sex, by Shiva (part 3): "Even though Ronnie had been honest in his Atheism to her from the get go, Scarlett had decided she was comfortable enough with him to invite him to join her during one of her Wiccan rituals."

  • Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Ever Have: Sick, Sad Edition), by percussivemaintenance (COMPLETE!): "Jane: Hey Daria. Daria: Yeah Jane? Jane: Where did you say you used to live before you moved here to Maryland? Daria: Texas. Why?"

  • Victor Morgendorffer, by Shiva (parts 6 and 7): "The next morning Victor woke up with a very hazy memory and after checking his room and seeing that Danny and Jesse weren't present, tried to remember the details. But it was simply too hazy." (Part 7)

  • When the Cat's Away, by SinisterExaggerator (part 1): "She studied the papers another time. They painted a story shrouded in mystery: something was striking the heart of suburbia, and perhaps the hearts of its residents."

Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Hi, Joe! What Do You Know?

Today is National "Joe" Day, although Joey seems a little confused by the holiday. He's still better off than Jamie, though--he has to settle for National "Random Name That Starts With J" Day.

Fandom News!

Monday, March 25, 2013

Hold Me Closer, Tiny Lawyer

Happy birthday to Sir Elton John, born on this day in 1947. Helen is impersonating the singer at his flamboyant best, and she pulls off the look surprisingly well. Not sure how her outfit would be received at the office, though.

Fanfic Update!
  • Daria and Co. (Are Forced To) Read 'My Immortal' (Iron Chef; You're Standing on My Immortal), by Shiva (part 8): "Daria grunted before stepping towards the wheel and giving it a spin. After it whirled and whirled it landed on a name, Quinn's. 'Dammit Daria!' she snapped, 'Did you do that on purpose?!' 'I'm not that cruel.'"

  • Darius Taylor (Scenes that should be: Polite Requests), by Shiva (parts 2 and 3): "'Tom!' Brittany squeaked and pulled the Sloane's only son into a monster hug. 'Hi Ninja!' Tom managed to wheeze as she crushed the air out of his lungs." (Part 3)

  • Fairly Odd Daria, by peapotmaster (part 1): "Daria Morgendorffer looked out her dorm window at Raft in her usual deadpan moods at all the college kids walking back and forth. But she spotted one boy in particular coming inside. She knew it would be trouble."

  • Finding a New Lane, by RLobinske (part 1): "'Maybe, he's not an artistic type.' Trent chuckled. 'Not artistic? He's a Lane. He'll find something.'"

  • The Flighty Quinn (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Ever Have: Sick, Sad Edition), by SinisterExaggerator (COMPLETE!): "'So, are you going to help me find something for Quinn now?' He wished the restraints would let him cover his mouth. It seemed so painfully obvious that she was not. He antsily shuffled in his seat. If he were going to be trapped in a strange room with someone who was now a strange woman, he was going to be comfortable, damn it."

  • Freewheelin', by peetz5050 (part 18): "'Mrs. Morgendorffer, I'm Michelle Landon.' Now this woman looked like the former Senior VP of U.S. World. Even with a baby in a carrier around her neck she still looked elegant and professional."

  • The Great Genderswap of Lawndale!, by Shiva (part 5): "In the name of getting normalcy back, the next day when the quarantine ended the kids of Lawndale found themselves being dragged back to school and their parents were returning to work."

  • Helen and the Ape (Iron Chef: Helen and the Ape), by SinisterExaggerator (part 1): "Helen trudged down into the basement of her law firm. Instead of the usual attire one would expect of a high-powered attorney, Helen wore a dirty janitor's uniform. In each of her hands was a bucket; one filled with water, the other, cold oatmeal."

  • Irony Maiden 00, by BF110C4 (COMPLETE!): "Daria always loved to wake up to the smell of strong fresh coffee, an habit that she had developed during her years at the M.I.T. and then reinforced during her post grade at Raft. Knowing this Amy had left one cup ready at the coffeemaker inside her room/library in the Penthouse of the Stark Industries Tower, and apparently already disposed of Robert." (Part 2) (Part 3)

  • Irony Maiden 01, by BF110C4 (part 1): "'Ladies and gentlemen, it is my honor to present this year's Apogee Award to Mrs. Helen Stark, a great businesswoman, visionary and most important of all a great mother.'"

  • A Night in Theresa's Life (Iron Chef: Theresa), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "'I really need to get another job.' She muttered to herself while getting the hell away from the Lawndale Mall. Having to deal with idiot teenage girls and go along with the shtick of 'Popularity' and it's byzantine rules was really becoming annoying."

  • Sideways Through Crossovers (Scenes that should be: Polite Requests), by PrecambrianStudios (COMPLETE!): "Feeling rather bored and angry for reasons she could not place, --- decided she was going to give someone a hard time. She didn't care who, she just wanted someone to yell at."

  • Twin Tracks (chapter 4), by oni (part 1): "Sitting back on the cheap plastic seats the building provided, Tomie watched as Jane's ball sailed down the lane in the gutter. 'Don't play much,' she asked with light humor in her tone."

  • Unexpected Hookup: Relative Madness, by Shiva (part 10): "The first time that Daria got to see Celestine Floyd in the flesh was as soon as she walked into Ronnie's home and found her boyfriend sitting on the couch next to a guy that seemed to be an older clone of her man."

  • Unnamed story (1,001 Deaths of Tom Sloane - Part II), by 45Ranger (COMPLETE!): "His musing was stopped when heard a rumbling sound. It took him a few minutes to identify it. It was the engine of a large tractor trailer. That meant he was close to a highway. Moving as fast as could, with every bit of his body protesting, he ran out onto the asphalt, falling to his hands and knees."

  • Unnamed story (1,001 Deaths of Tom Sloane - Part II), by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "Tom screamed as he saw the horde of cats advance upon him, blocking any avenue of escape through the Stargate, each of the evil-looking furballs sporting a tiny fur hat emblazoned with a hammer-and-sickle pin on the front."

  • Unnamed story (1,001 Deaths of Tom Sloane - Part II), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "The sun was shining bright as Tom Sloane stepped out from the Temple of Athena where he and several other parishioners had been attending a service."

  • Unnamed story (1,001 Deaths of Tom Sloane - Part II), by SinisterExaggerator (COMPLETE!): "Tom Sloane looked feverishly in the mirror at his brow."

  • Unnamed story (1,001 Deaths of Tom Sloane - Part II), by SinisterExaggerator (COMPLETE!): "'Okay, Tom,' Jane said, 'how does it look?' He emerged from behind the bathroom door, the tightness of the red speedo he was wearing a testament to his valiant efforts inside to put it on."

  • Unnamed story (1,001 Deaths of Tom Sloane - Part II), by SinisterExaggerator (COMPLETE!): "Tom Sloane sighed as he approached the bench. Of course he had to forsake his businessman training for law school. Now he was stuck in his crummy position as a judge, with no hope whatsoever of increasing his income."

  • Unnamed story (1,001 Deaths of Tom Sloane - Part II), by SinisterExaggerator (COMPLETE!): "As Tom Sloane wandered somewhere around Lawndale, minding his own business, he decided to avoid that and have a nice chat with the author."

  • Unnamed story (1,001 Deaths of Tom Sloane - Part II), by SinisterExaggerator (COMPLETE!): "There was a heavy pitter-patter sounding on the windows of the Sloane mansion. Tom, sitting in the living room alone, discounted it as a light rainstorm and continued his reading."

  • Unnamed story (1,001 Deaths of Tom Sloane - Part II), by SinisterExaggerator (COMPLETE!): "Tom looked again at the neat-looking man in a business suit, who was presently sitting across from him at the kitchen table. On the table was a device of some sort, completely with a very pushable red button in the center."

Saturday, March 23, 2013

Missed It By That Much!

Today is Near Miss Day, which celebrates the anniversary of the day in 1989 when an asteroid came very close to hitting the Earth. Fortunately, we were spared...perhaps by SuperJane! Or maybe not.

Also, it was fifteen years ago today that the episode "Monster" first aired. Which is my best side? I know they're both good.

Fandom News!

Thursday, March 21, 2013

Better or Worse than a Vogon? You Make the Call!

Happy World Poetry Day! In celebration, let's all take a moment to enjoy a dramatic reading by Jeffy:
The greasy fry,
It cannot lie;
Its truth is written
On your thighs.
Brings a tear to your eye, doesn't it?

Fanfic Update!
  • The Amazing Adventures of Captain Invincible!, by Erin M. (part 5): "'It's not just that she read the stories, is it?' she asked. 'Spike, what's really bothering you?' The dragon took a deep breath and let it out with a sigh. 'It was supposed to be a surprise.'"

  • Daria and Co. (Are Forced To) Read 'My Immortal' (Iron Chef; You're Standing on My Immortal Now with video), by Shiva (part 7): "Then as Jane turned to her friend to offer sympathy, but no pills, a chime echoed through the room and a small table appeared in front of the computer. On it were several bags full of pot, some pre-rolled joints, a bong, a bunch of pipes, and lighters."

  • Daria and Jane: On Michelle Shocked (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Ever Have: Sick, Sad Edition), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "Jane: 'Say Daria, what do you call a female alternative folk singer who once dated a woman and a mere decade later launched a 'God hates fags' rant that Fred Phelps faps too?'"

  • Daria/Dr. Who: A Cynical Earth, by RLobinske (COMPLETE!): "'Oh, my,' Kate said. 'That means that any one of us could have our minds controlled.' 'Or all,' Daria said. The Doctor said, 'Ace, please tell me that you're still carrying around Nitro-9.'"

  • Darius Taylor (Scenes that should be: Polite Requests), by Shiva (part 1): "'Well we did it Brit,' Darius said while holding up a can of Ultra Cola in a mock toast, 'We survived our first year at Fielding.'"

  • Full Frontal (Not in That Way) (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Ever Have: Sick, Sad Edition), by SinisterExaggerator (COMPLETE!): "'Well, you see,' replied Doug, 'me and Charlene have been trying to give Kevin here a start by getting him a squeeze. Thing is, though, most of them...aren't exactly his type. You think you got any for him?"

  • Gag Name Reflex (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Ever Have: Sick, Sad Edition), by SinisterExaggerator (COMPLETE!): "'Will the following people please come down to the principal's office?'"

  • Gay Pride, Weak (Scenes No Daria Fanfic should have: Delightful and Naughty), by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "That's when I woke up, diary. I know that Sandi's not that way - if anything, Stacy is, or she's just so damned horny that she's ready to go with anything that she feels reasonably safe with, and I can see that, more than anything else."

  • The Great Genderswap of Lawndale!, by Shiva (parts 3 and 4): "In the Landon's not-quite-a-mansion-but-close home, Joey Landon was sitting with his new kid brother Raphael and their little sister Evelyn as their New Dad, Michael Landon talked on the phone to their, well..." (Part 4)

  • Losers No More, by Shiva (part 13): "Since it was Friday, the Snarky Foursome's time had already been consumed by the need to help put the gym together for the dance in advance for Saturday."

  • Love is Strange, by Shiva (part 2): "As her new manager at It's a Nutty, Nutty World! continued ranting about the glories of his Nutty Empire, or whatever, Daria found that not even snark was saving her from the horror. The horror..."

  • LSD, by PrecambrianStudios (part 1): "'Now girls, I just wanted you both to know that your mother and I are really proud of you both for being so patient in Highland. We know it was frustrating for you both, but hey, things might be looking up!'"

  • Mack the Esteemer, by Shiva (part 18): "'...And then Ms. Li came onto the announcements saying that we all have to volunteer our time to get some coffee shack going, otherwise we'll all be suspended.' Just as Daria began to get very irritated with her sister for not knowing when to shut up, Helen gasped. 'What?!'"

  • My Sister and Me, by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "Jodie scowled at her leader. 'I never treat my sister that way.' 'Trust me - you're missing out. Besides, it's memories for later that you can laugh about. When was the last time you and your sister actually did anything together - embarrassing or otherwise?'"

  • Operation Glitterberries: Interlude II, by BF110C4 (part 1): "'Jane, I'm Captain Burns of the Lawndale Police Department Major Crimes Unit and I need to talk with you about Daria.' All that was gone from my mind when the man came in and said those words."

  • Playing With a (Daria-Specific) Trope (Scenes No Daria Fanfic should have: Delightful and Naughty), by Silver (COMPLETE!): "Daria wasn't sure what to make of the situation. She'd never been much for the dating scene, or the popular one. And it perturbed her a little just how easily her best friend could fit into both."

  • Rude Awakening Ep 13: The Hiring Game, by DIsaac (parts 2 and 3): "DARIA: Wait, WMOT? ... Isn't that the chick that said all that crap about immigrants? JODIE: Is that the same one that called her listeners the dumbest listeners to ever walk the earth? And that one of her grandparents allegedly has connections to Mussolini? JANE: Yep, this one is strictly for snark purposes only." (Part 3)

  • Timmy, by PrecambrianStudios (part 1): "'You familiar with a little boy with brown hair, looks about kindergarten age?' 'Oh.' Her voice had taken on a solemn tone. 'Tim O'Neil?' 'I guess. Kids looks miserable. Did something happen with him?'"

  • We Only Hurt the Ones We Love, by deneich (part 15): "'Jane when we spoke after school on Friday, was there something that you neglected to tell me?' A vacant stare was Jane's only reply, so I continued with, 'concerning Quinn, perchance?'"

  • Where Did Quinn Go?, by Brother Grimace (part 1): "The ongoing mystery we are faced with is the disappearance of Quinn A. Morgenddorffer. There is a slight disruption – a 'skip' in the record-keeping ability, if you will, of the (REDACTED FOR SECURITY PURPOSES) within the (REDACTED FOR SECURITY PURPOSES)."

Tuesday, March 19, 2013

He's a Chicken, I Tell You! A Giant Chicken!

Today is Poultry Day, everyone! Celebrate by...eating chicken, I guess. Anyone up for some nice rotisserie-style Joey?

This is also the anniversary of the first airing of "The Story of D" in 2001. Daria's story gets rejected! The angst! The horror! The wailing and gnashing of teeth! And that's just Ms. Barch let it slip about using oils in the bedroom. Ewwwwww.

Fandom News!

Sunday, March 17, 2013

Celebrate Green Beer and Midgets!

Happy St. Patrick's Day! Pat over there is a little busy trying to convince Daria to go on another zany adventure, but in the meantime please enjoy these St. Patrick's Day-themed fanfics:
Today also happens to be the anniversary of the original air dates of "College Bored," "Daria Dance Party," and "Murder, She Snored" in 1997, 1999, and 2000. I suppose keg parties, dancing, and violence are all St. Patrick's Day traditions in their own way, so it all works out.

Fanfic Update!
  • ARC Ch.6 Drowned in a cappuccino, by ST91 (parts 2 and 3): "'But what are you gonna do now that your mother gave you an ultimatum?' Daria exhaled and then said, 'Find an extracurricular, what else can I do? Do you have any ideas?'" (Part 3)

  • As Though She Had Done It All Before..., by Shiva (parts 5 and 6): "So Daria just grabbed a couple donuts and walked out without uttering a word, or hearing her sister make some comment about her breakfast choices. But as she opened the door for a brief instant it seemed like there had been someone standing on her front step. A blink of her eyelids however caused the image to vanish." (Part 6)

  • √Čirinn go Blam (Scenes No Daria Fanfic should have: Delightful and Naughty), by SinisterExaggerator (COMPLETE!): "St. Patrick's Day's elfin form awoke to find himself resting on a cold vinyl car seat. The windows were tinted, and a black partitition separated him from whomever was driving it."

  • Rude Awakening Ep 13: The Hiring Game, by DIsaac (part 1): "DARIA: Crap. We've got to weed through the all the idiots to hire the next great radio schmuck who would be dumb enough to take this job. JODIE: Yep. JANE: Good news is that you have plenty of schmucks to choose from!"

  • The Thing 2, by Brain Camper (part 1): "Arkadiy: Has Alexei had any luck? [Shake of head] Desya: It's really strange. The weather's lightened up and still nothing. Arkadiy: Could it be the radio itself? Desya: Well, we managed to get in contact with our other base last week. The Norwegian one too, but they went dark a few days ago. "

  • To Save Them, by PrecambrianStudios (part 1): "She never forgot that moment. It was etched into her mind, like a brand. For years, she had tried to find rhyme or reason to her sister's murder."

  • Unnamed story (IC: In-universe Mary -Sue/ Self-Insert fanfiction), by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "'Hello, 007. How was the Australian Outback?' 'Surprisingly hot and wild, Miss Moneypenny. Of course, I was able to handle the situation.' 'Of course you were, Charles. So - how was the weather there?'"

  • Unnamed story (IC: In-universe Mary -Sue/ Self-Insert fanfiction), by Ms. Kinnikufan (COMPLETE!): "Rachel Langdon was very glad to be at Hogwarts. She could finally escaped the scandal of her sister Jodie trying to kill the rest of the family."

  • Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fanfic should have: Delightful and Naughty), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "Daria took her usual seat at the conference table and apologized for being late."

  • Unnamed story (Scenes that should be: Polite Requests), by Silver (COMPLETE!): "Sergeant Micheal 'Mad Dog' Morgendorffer, US Army, stood stiffly at attention before the desk, waiting as patiently as his position would allow him."

Friday, March 15, 2013

Either Way, Someone's Having a Bad Day

Today is the International Day Against Police Brutality, so Upchuck should really be careful about those sexist remarks. Today also happens to be the Ides of March, so Upchuck may want to be careful about knife-wielding guys in togas as well.

Fandom News!

Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Heh, I said "Ur."

Rejoice, astronomy fans (and lovers of off-color puns)! Today is the anniversary of the discovery of Uranus in 1781. Daria and Jane--er, I mean, the alien love goddesses--may come from that planet, but I'm sure they'd never admit it.

Fanfic Update!
  • ARC Ch.6 Drowned in a Cappuccino, by ST91 (part 1): "'So Charlie tell me a thing,' said Jane to Charles when there were alone together. 'What?' 'When are you going to ask Daria out?'"

  • Daria and Co. (Are Forced To) Read 'My Immortal' (Iron Chef; You're Standing on My Immortal), by Shiva (part 6): "Stacy sat down in front of the computer screen and took a single look. 'Ewww.' she moaned, 'Even looking at it makes me feel all ucky!' 'We all went through it Stacy,' Quinn informed her with an ugly glare at Sandi, 'Just start so you can get it over with.' Stacy nodded and began to read."

  • Emo Tom is Emo (Scenes No Daria Fanfic should have: Delightful and Naughty), by Shiva (part 3): "The two teenagers in black clothing and white makeup sitting down at one of the reserved tables at the Winged Tree Country Club stuck out like Scientologists at a Reasonable Religions Convention."

  • Esteem Thunder (Scenes that should be: Polite Requests), by 45Ranger (COMPLETE!): "Daria looked at what she had written, frowned, and started muttering to herself. 'Ugh, what the hell am I doing trying to blend Melody's world into real life?' She muttered, scratching out everything she'd just written."

  • Everything Wrong With Daria in Less Than Three Minutes. Spoilers. Duh (Scenes No Daria Fanfic should have: Delightful and Naughty), by PrecambrianStudios (COMPLETE!): "Beavis and Butthead are not even in this show. DING!"

  • The Great Genderswap of Lawndale!, by Shiva (part 2): "He turned off the water and stepped out and grabbed a towel, first wiping off the steamed up bathroom mirror first caught his reflection. Then found himself unable to look away."

  • IFeelLikeI'mOnanAcidTripandINeverEvenUsedtheStuffIThink, by Brain Camper (part 3): "den darea-lover cum in and she sed uuuh cna i join u"

  • Love is Strange, by Shiva (part 1): "'Daria, I'm home,' her husband yelled out unnecessarily as his footfalls sounded from the nearby entrance to their apartment. 'I'm in the kitchen.' Daria yelled back and was still grinning by the time he entered the room, slipping out of his East Boston High hoodie and hanging it on his usual chair."

  • Meeting the Three Younger Griffins (Scenes that should be: Polite Requests), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "Jane decided that things couldn't get much worse, after all having been drafted into Ms. Li's 'Peer-to-Peer' tutoring then assigned to help Sandi Griffin with her art project was about as bad as it could get."

  • One (More) Little Thing, by peetz5050 (part 25): "Amy cleared her throat and repeated in a clear voice 'What about Daria? She didn't die.' 'I KNOW THAT! DO YOU THINK I DON'T KNOW THAT!' 'Please Helen... I think maybe... in some part of your mind... I honestly think you don't. She isn't dead.' 'I KNOW!' 'Are you sure?' Evelyn asked gently."

  • Selfish and Selfless (IC: Criminals of Lawndale), by baelparagon (COMPLETE!): "I remembered when I was a child I asked her mother what love at first sight meant. My mother responded that love at first sight was something that happened very rarely, but when it did it was very special."

  • The Summer Back, by Shiva (part 4): "It was twelve noon, and Daria found herself awake and fully dressed instead of sleeping in like she had been dreaming about since the last month of first term. She was sitting on her bed with the newspaper spread out in front of her, rifling through the Help Wanted section, hoping to find something semi-tolerable."

  • Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fanfic should have: Delightful and Naughty), by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): "'"Criminals are a supersticious and cowardly lot!' said Tom, deep in thought. 'So my disguise must be able to strike terror into their hearts! I must be a creature of the night, a-- a--"

  • Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fanfic should have: Delightful and Naughty), by Kristen Bealer (COMPLETE!): "Quinn opened the door as slowly and quietly as she could, well aware that she was coming home hours past curfew."

  • Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fanfic should have: Delightful and Naughty), by RX-87 (COMPLETE!): "'Mom, Dad...' said a curvacious, twenty-something Mafalda, back in America after a stint with the JET teaching program."

  • Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fanfic should have: Delightful and Naughty), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "Daria made sure that the door to her room was firmly locked and the window shades firmly shut, the lights came off and only then did she feel safe enough to turn on her laptop and brought up Twitter."

Monday, March 11, 2013

An Apple a Day Keeps Concussions at Bay!

Today is Johnny Appleseed Day! Or one of them, anyway. Kevin seems pretty happy with his work, and I suppose it's more productive than planting crutches.

Fandom News!

Saturday, March 9, 2013


Happy Panic Day! It's okay--just keep breathing, and you'll get through the day. And above everything else, remember: they're leggings.

Today is also the fifteenth anniversary of the original airdate of the episode "I Don't" in 1998. The world met Brian Danielson...and immediately wished it hadn't. On the bright side, we also got to meet Luhrman, so I guess it evens out.

Fanfic Update!
  • Daria's Evil 18th, by LadieTAG (COMPLETE!): "Daria stared around the room, ready to enact her revenge and her secret fantasy. With her entire family and 'friends' gathered around the table, Daria blew out the candles on her cake."

  • Daria's Twilight III (Scenes No Daria Fanfic should have: Delightful and Naughty), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "Lunch with her new 'friends' was pure torture as far as Daria was concerned."

  • Does Anybody Remember...? (Scenes No Daria Fanfic should have: Delightful and Naughty), by SinisterExaggerator (COMPLETE!): "Daria dejectedly ambled ahead on the sidewalk. Upchuck was actively trying to envelop her as they walked along, and was not gaining the warm reaction he was expecting. Diligently, he waded into conversation."

  • Freewheelin', by peetz5050 (part 17): "'Hello Mrs. Morgendorffer, em, I'm Don... Donny... I met her last night... I dropped her home to your house.' 'You're the man with the motorcycle?'"

  • The Great Genderswap of Lawndale!, by Shiva (part 1): "In the immediate aftermath of the 'Great Genderswap of Lawndale', every single 'New Guy' and 'New Girl' was confronted with the simple, physical fact that none of their old clothes fit them anymore."

  • IFeelLikeI'mOnanAcidTripandINeverEvenUsedtheStuffIThink, by Brain Camper (parts 1 and 2): "[Jane walked down into the basement of her house. There is a smell of smoke] Jane: Trent! You down here?" (Part 2)

  • The Lawndale Shake (Scenes No Daria Fanfic should have: Delightful and Naughty), by 45Ranger (COMPLETE!): "Angela watched; with a pride only exceeded by that for the football team itself, as her Lions Marching Band performed their halftime show."

  • The Misery Trent, by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "Then Daria asked a question that he wished she hadn't. 'Would you say that it really makes you think?' Trent bottled up all of his emotions and lied flatly, 'No.'"

  • Parallel, by Reven384 (part 1): "Daria dreamed. It was a strange dream. There was a cloaked figure in front of a door in a cave. The door had three keys. The cloaked figure put the key in the first key hole and turned it then disappeared. Daria did not know she'd been put in a deep sleep and did not notice anything that was happening. She only woke up when she felt some hands shoving her."

  • Quinn's Code 07: The Grounded Geek, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 7): "Daria was playing her guitar (loudly) when she heard knocking on the door. She stopped playing and went to the door. It was Helen. 'Come down, Daria. Quinn has the DVD of the anime ready,' she said."

  • That's the Way the Girls are in Texas! (Scenes No Daria Fanfic should have: Delightful and Naughty), by peetz5050 (COMPLETE!): "Upchuck was being even more Upchucky than usual. He turned to Daria and Jane and sleazed 'How about you, Ladies, what's your favorite "position"?'"

  • To Annoy a Mockingbird, by BF110C4 (part 6.5): "'Now, what do you want Quinn.' 'Umm Daria, are you really going to the Modeling Class, like really going to participate and not just mess with everyone there?'"

  • Twin Tracks (chapter 3), by oni (COMPLETE!): "There were a few minutes of silence in the car after Sandi got off the phone with Stacy. Dread set into Linda as she turned down a certain street she knew would have to be taken in order to get home. As they passed Brooke's house, Sandi could see her mom eyeing it while she was driving. She already knew what was bothering her mom, but she quietly asked anyway. 'Are you ok?'"

  • Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fanfic should have: Delightful and Naughty), by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): "Li tried to remember the mantra as everything buckled around her. She could no longer feel her legs."

  • Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fanfic should have: Delightful and Naughty), by Silver (COMPLETE!): "The tone was remarkably irritated for Twilight Sparkle. Of course, one could easily justify said irritability by the fact that Twi was stuck in human form. And by the fact she'd been stuck that way for the better part of a week. She pushed a lock of dark hair behind her ear, glancing at Daria."

  • Victor Morgendorffer (Iron Chef: Fresh takes on Veronica Morgendorffer), by Shiva (part 5): "Victor found himself in an aptly named head shop called '4/20' on the rather seedy area of Lawndale known as Dega Street."

Thursday, March 7, 2013

But Was King Tut Murdered by a Cereal Killer?

Happy National Cereal Day! Quinn will enjoy a bowl of Model Crunch, but Jake's still stuck trying to read the riddle on the side of the box. Will we ever know for sure whether or not King Tut was buried without his diver?

Fandom News!

Tuesday, March 5, 2013

Have Any of Your Personalities Ever Fallen Down a Flight of Stairs?

Today is National Multiple Personality Day! Celebrate by finding the Eunice within, and tell her to stop being so sad all the time.

This is also the twelfth anniversary of the airing of "Fat Like Me" in 2001. Sandi became thinly challenged, and she and Quinn shared a bonding moment that was actually kind of touching. D'awww.

Fanfic Update!
  • Alternate Ending (Daria and the Gang Thread), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "'Do you remember way back in high school?' Daria asked."

  • Another bit on my Addams crossover, by Ranger Thorne (part 6): "The house sat back from the road, with a small swamp between it and the black iron fence that ran around the property. A slight fog seemed to be rolling in from both sides of the house, and the sky had somehow become overcast."

  • Black Cloaks of Lawndale, by Waylander (part 10): "The sand was slowly falling through the hourglass. Daria stared intently at a piece of red granite. Her face was devoid of any emotions, but her body spoke of intense concentration."

  • Daria and Co. (Are Forced To) Read 'My Immortal', by Shiva (part 5): "After a very well earned break from Tara Gilesbie's atrocity, the group was forced to conceed to reality and get back to reading the story. Which the mere thought of made Daria feel nauseous, she had been hoping that exposure would have rendered her numb to it. No such luck."

  • Excuse Me, by PrecambrianStudios (COMPLETE!): "'Excuse me,' Daria groaned. A large, bulky man grumbled, 'What?'"

  • The Great Genderswap of Lawndale!, by Shiva (prologue): "A sudden flash of blue light covered the entire town and some of the outlying areas in a perfect circle. Once the light vanished, the saucer was gone. About a couple moments later, panic began to grip the town as absolutely everyone realized that something had changed about them. Something big..."

  • Lawndale and Sandi Griffin's Genie (Chapter 8), by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 8): "'What's happened?' Kristen asked. 'Jennifer's stuck. For the moment, anyway.' 'That's... not good,' Kristen considered. She hoped that someone would wish away that pile of food before too long..."

  • Losers No More, by Shiva (part 12): "David turned and knocked on the door, and discovered that it was slightly ajar. Sitting at his desk was Benjamin Bentley, balding head and all. 'Listen we'll talk later.' Benjamin said to what David assumed was an employee before hanging up."

  • Nothing Compares 2 U-238 (Conjoined Twins Iron Chef Contest), by SinisterExaggerator (COMPLETE!): "'Okay, STUDents,' snarled Mr. DeMartino from the front, 'let's take this as an opporTUNity for those of you to prove yourself of having more inTELLigence and perhaps more persoNALity than a bowl of beet BORSCHT!' 'Class,' covered Mr. O'Neill from his left side, 'what he means is that this is just a small stepping stone on the path to self-consciousness and esteem. And even if failing is inevitable, it won't be held against you.'"

  • Placement Test (Scenes No Daria Fanfic should have: Delightful and Naughty), by SinisterExaggerator (COMPLETE!): "'Jane?' Daria asked, gently pushing her Dixie paper plate towards the side, 'is it me or does something feel weird?'"

  • Please God, Make It Stop, Make It End, by PrecambrianStudios (COMPLETE!): "Monique stepped inside the torture chamber, where Trent was strapped up to a chair, wires leading into his ears. His head was angled down and snot dangled from his nose."

  • The Secret Lives Of Us (Scenes No Daria Fanfic should have: Delightful and Naughty), by LongSnakeMoan (COMPLETE!): "Paraphilia from the Greek para meaning beside and philia meaing to love. Attraction to people, objects or situations that are not part of a normative sexual discourse. Everyone has a dirty little secret."

  • Suicide Tea, by BrownEyedBagel (parts 1 and 2): "The door abruptly opening shook her from the state of mind she was in, and the figure entering shattered it completely. He was a tall and lean man with short red hair. He was wearing a black suit that appeared expertly pressed and he stepped forward as if the world would step aside to make his path clear." (Part 2)

  • Tales of Big Sis: Tea Party (Iron Chef: Fresh takes on Veronica Morgendorffer), by Reven384 (COMPLETE!): "Daria and Quinn were once again sniping at each other, 'Brat!' Daria said. 'Brain!' Quinn said. If they knew who just walked in the door they would have stopped arguing sooner."

  • Twin Tracks (chapter 3), by oni (part 4): "Putting down her burger, Jane slowly let out, 'This maybe just a coincidence but a friend of mine got hurt near the end of last year from someone that came from Tampa.' Tomie started to raise eyebrow in a questioning manor. 'And this person that came from there was a high school dropout."

  • Two Non-Fiction Accounts (Non-Daria), by PrecambrianStudios (COMPLETE!): "It was a summer day at around two-o-clock. I was with a group of students on the streets of the downtown part of my home city. The groups were composed of various ages and races. We were to be split into two to cover more ground."

  • Unnamed story (A MLP: FIM fanfic by ST91 ( in search fo a title )), by ST91 (prologue): "A figure covered by a hooded cloak observes impassively the events showed by the mirror. 'So ... Princess Twilight Sparkle.' A laugh echoed in the halls of the castle and throughout the city ... a laugh so chilling that would freeze the blood to whoever heard."

  • Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fanfic should have: Delightful and Naughty), by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): "'You never got it, Kiki.'"

  • Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fanfic should have: Delightful and Naughty), by Shiva: "Ever since that fateful day when the unidentified flying object had flown over Lawndale and had flashed a strange light over the town, the people were coping with the... changes that had come about."

  • Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fanfic should have: Delightful and Naughty), by SinisterExaggerator (COMPLETE!): "'Uphuck?' asked Daria. 'Will you please marry me?'"

  • Unnamed story (Scream Scenes), by thatLONERchick (COMPLETE!): "'Hello, Daria.' 'Jane?' Moving faster, Daria found her friend crouching on a bed of old newspaper, entirely nude. Daria faltered, still several feet away."

  • Veronica's Story : The Highland Years, by ST91 (part 2): "Little Veronica, happy as only a little girl of two years may be, was trotting here and there followed at a short distance by Daria and Amy. Very happy with that arrangement was seven year old Quinn. Great! With that damn brat out of the way mom and dad will be only mine."

  • Veronica's Story : The Highland Years mini, by ST91 (COMPLETE!): "It had been a few days since Veronica had said her first word, "Dah-ia" and from that moment the whole family anxiously waited for the girl's next words."

  • The Walking Brain-Dead, by PrecambrianStudios (COMPLETE!): "'Everybody get in the car now!' Jake screamed. He stuck his father's M1 Garand out his bedroom window and took another shot at the zombies. Blood and brains splattered the asphalt of Glenn Oaks lane, but the zombies kept coming."

  • Wedding, Don't Care (Scenes No Daria Fanfic should have: Delightful and Naughty), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "As Aunt Judith walked down the aisle in her predictable princess wedding gown, everyone in the chapel watched with tears in their eyes at the perfect, romantic aura of the Morgendorffer/Steele wedding."

Sunday, March 3, 2013

That's For Me!

Happy birthday to Alexander Graham Bell, born on this day in 1847. Bell is best known for inventing the telephone, for which Quinn and Helen are eternally grateful.

Today is also a triple anniversary for Daria: "Esteemsters," "The Old and the Beautiful," and "Antisocial Climbers" all premiered on this day in 1997, 1999, and 2000. That also means that today is the anniversary of the show itself! Happy anniversary, Daria! I remembered, unlike Tom. So there.

Fandom News!

Friday, March 1, 2013

Joey, Jeffy, and...Jambon?

Happy National Pig Day! I'll take any excuse to celebrate with bacon, so go nuts if you want to! Jamie may be hoping that this little stunt will finally make Quinn remember his name, but if he thinks she's getting anywhere close to all that fat and grease, he's sorely mistaken.

Fanfic Update!
  • Cassandra, by PrecambrianStudios (part 1): "Daria shook her head to regain focus, and looked at the obstacle. Even with clouded vision, she could tell who it was, there was no mistaking her towering figure and shapeless blue dress. She boredly waved her hand. 'Hey Cassandra.'"

  • Daria and Stacy (IC: Stacy Morgendorffer), by Shiva (part 4): "Daria leaned towards Stacy and said quietly, 'I think me and your friends are going to get along just fine.' Stacy glanced at Jane before saying back, 'Same here, sis.' Daria gave a Mona Lisa grin, before nibbling at her pizza."

  • Dat Ass (Scenes No Daria Fanfic should have: Delightful and Naughty), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "Trent Lane was sitting in the Morgendorffer's living room, having come around to find his Janie since their parents had actually called and he wanted to share the good news. That they were going to have a new brother or sister soon."

  • Erin Celebrates (Scenes No Daria Fanfic should have: Delightful and Naughty), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "'Congrads on the divorce!' Daria yelled loudly, and clearly three sheets to the wind."

  • An Evening with the Barksdale Family, by Gnome (COMPLETE!): "The man allowed himself a brief half smile and picked up the pile. Each was set out in a clear line, with the text faceing the two girls. The line was perfectly strait, and set in order of grade point average. Helen's, then Amy's, then Rita's."

  • Jane's Subtraction (Scenes No Daria Fanfic should have: Delightful and Naughty), by SinisterExaggerator (COMPLETE!): "The phone call roused Jane from her deep sleep. 'Hello?' she asked tiredly. 'Oh,' replied Daria from the other end. 'I guess this means you haven't been murdered. Well, that's good.'"

  • Mine (Iron Chef: Fresh takes on Veronica Morgendorffer), by Vukodlak (part 2): "Tom and Daria were sitting on the living room sofa; Daria was reading her macroeconomics textbook while Tom was reading a Critique of Pure Reason. Veronica was siting between them in her PJ's reading Do Princesses Wear Hiking Boots."

  • Night Call (IC: Daria Characters Drunk Dial), by JPAGC (COMPLETE!): "(Figures moves more, turning to lie on her back. Voice still slepy.) 'What? Who is this? Is this some kind of prank call?' 'Pa-rank call? Of course this is a prank call (hic) Do you know who's calling...? A fashion Disaster! I'm (hic) a pleated shirt...!'" (Continued by PrecambrianStudios)

  • One (More) Little Thing, by peetz5050 (parts 23 and 24): "'Yeah... I'll tell you what... we need to have a proper little talk, preferably somewhere fairly private or at least quiet. Tell me first, have you spoken to your Dad?' 'No, why? Did something happen to Mom? Is...?' 'No... she's fine but I have to tell you something, do you know somewhere quieter than the pizza parlor?'" (Part 24)

  • One Year (iron chef: the cult of daria), by random-one (COMPLETE!): "Jane sat at the end of her bed staring at yet another episode of sick sad world unable to paint til her bum of a brother coughed up the money he owed her for gas and car parts came to a stunning realisation one that in all her years of virtual abandonment by her family and absence of all friends had never come to mind at all she was alone."

  • Squashing Daria (Scenes No Daria Fanfic should have: Delightful and Naughty), by SinisterExaggerator (COMPLETE!): "As her mind sank back into her argument-riddled past, Daria spied the large refrigerator box and exhaled deeply. She crawled into it, as if seeking peace amid the lifeless prism."

  • Supersnark (Scenes No Daria Fanfic should have: Delightful and Naughty), by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): " The Green Snark and Lex Luthor stood in his office, staring each other down. Neither spoke."

  • Unnamed story (IC: Daria Characters Drunk Dial), by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "'Skinny?" Are you - DRUNK? What the hell is wrong with you?' 'I'm sorry, Janet! I- I... I don't want to lose you, and I just - HIC - don't know what you want!'"

  • Unnamed story (IC: Daria Characters Drunk Dial), by PrecambrianStudios (COMPLETE!): "Daria walked into Casa Lane, reeking of alcohol."

  • Unnamed story (IC: Daria Characters Drunk Dial), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "Tom pulled out his cellphone. He hadn't called her in forever. But he knew that he had to make amends before it was too late."

  • Unnamed story (IC: Daria Characters Drunk Dial), by SinisterExaggerator (COMPLETE!): "[The telephone rings as DARIA lies in bed, asleep. With a wavering hand, she fumbles for it in her stupor and holds it up to her ear.] [INTERCUT PHONE CONVERSATION] DARIA: Who is this and how is your health insurance?"

  • Unnamed story (IC: Daria Characters Drunk Dial), by Vukodlak (COMPLETE!): "'What?' Charles groaned as he picked up his phone some time past 3."

  • Unnamed story (iron chef: the cult of daria), by welltemperedclavier (COMPLETE!): "Assembled from detritus within and without, the two-story brick temple slouched on the hill, its guardians examining the approaching petitioners through round lens of scratched glass. Their green cassocks and black robes showed similar signs of wear, passed down from previous generations."

  • Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fanfic should have: Delightful and Naughty), by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): "'Um, I've been thinking a lot about why you said we should break up,' said Tom"

  • Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fanfic should have: Delightful and Naughty), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "It looked like it was going to be an altercation between the Fashion Club members and four other girls outside of Lawndale's most exclusive club (meaning, one that didn't check fake IDs.)"

  • Victor Morgendorffer (Iron Chef: Fresh takes on Veronica Morgendorffer), by Shiva (part 4): "As Jesse began to get up off the floor, Danny explained that Trent Lane was his big brother's best friend and fellow band member in a group called Mystik Spiral. 'Are they any good?' Victor asked as they moved to the side so Jessie could take the lead. Danny just laughed and said no more. Victor decided that it didn't bode well at all."