"Ooh-la-la. Doctor, I have a pain."

I see Dr. Phillips is enjoying National Doctors' Day, or maybe he finally figured out what was causing that weird rash on Daria's neck. If Quinn ended up following through on her plans to become a doctor herself, then I hope she has a great (and fashionable) day!

I'm sure any doctor would recommend some fresh air and exercise, so why not celebrate Take a Walk in the Park Day? Just don't walk through Art in the Park, because aside from the Jane Lane originals the artwork is very overrated there.

If you decide to observe National Pencil Day, be careful not to borrow one from Kevin Thompson. As Daria learned in the pilot, this can lead to some wacky misunderstandings and creepy smiles. But also cookies, so I guess it's not all bad.

Fanfic Update!

• The Betrothed, by easmith (part 20): "'Is that really what you’re wearing?' were Abby’s first words as she appeared in Dylan’s dining hall the next morning, speaking almost simultaneously with the doorman announcing her arrival."


• hold on, by sixspades (part 3): "He had just gotten his learner's permit at 16, and although he probably shouldn't have been driving his sister around without an adult present or a license, when did that kind of thing bother Trent?"


• Homecoming, by davidfalkayn (parts 17 and 18): "'Big crowd.' Tom remarked as he picked up two cups of soda, handing one to the dark-haired teen girl standing next to him." (Part 18)


• An Insight, by fridaythesavage (COMPLETE!): "'She stole my web page,' said Daria. 'She is your little sister,' said Conscience."

On the Other Hand, Maybe She Just Bought It?

Quinn has truly outdone herself for National Black Forest Cake Day, but I'm not sure I'd be willing to eat any of that. Just like early series Quinn, it most likely looks good on the surface but is quite unpleasant underneath.

Instead, it might be safer to join Trent in enjoying Weed Appreciation Day...but only if it's legal where you are. (Yes, I know the holiday is actually about unwelcome plants growing in gardens, but this is way more fun. So there.)

Finally, half of Ashley-Amber can celebrate National Amber Day! The other half would rather go to the mall, I'm sure.

Fandom News!

• Vote in the Deadliest Warrior poll between Son Goku and The Incredible Hulk.

I DO Wanna Be All By Myself!

Daria is enjoying Solitude Day to the fullest, because nothing beats being alone in a room when you're an introvert. Of course, it's only a matter of time before Helen knocks on the door to ask her about some new social opportunity or Quinn bursts in to complain, but she can enjoy it while it lasts.

I hope Jodie and her family don't get too excited about National Landon Day, because the holiday is for people with the first name Landon. So close, yet so far away.

On this day in 2001, the episode "Lucky Strike" first aired. Although the most notable moment in the episode was Quinn finally acknowledging Daria as her sister, I think we should also take a moment to appreciate Daria's "angel vs. devil" exchange in Ms. Li's office. Classic.

Fanfic Update!

• Flaw of Attraction, by wilddogjj (COMPLETE!): "Quinn, Jim and Chris were tied up on the bed while Chris's psychotic girlfriend was threatening them at gunpoint."


• Spider Quinn 07: Ashes to Ashes, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (COMPLETE!): "Quinn heard a knock at the bedroom door. Just as well she wasn’t doing something SpiderGirl related."


• Stranger Without Time, by radiofox (part 11): "'Hey, Dad.' Quinn opened the door to her father's car. 'Hey kiddo, How'd it go?' Jake turned around to face his daughter.

Jaken, Not Stirred

Jake's just thrilled to celebrate National Cocktail Day, although I'm pretty sure this is how he spends every evening. Still, I'm not going to try to take away one of his few remaining pleasures in life, so enjoy that martini, Jake!

I think Jodie should get one too, but not because it's International Day For Achievers. See, she's not an achiever; she's an over-achiever so someone needs to mix her a drink both as consolation and to keep her from exploding out of stress.

Today is also the anniversary of both "Cafe Disaffecto" in 1997 and "The Lost Girls" in 1999. One of us introduced us to Daria's fictional character Melody Powers and the other gave us Val (as in Val). I think I know who I'd rather spend time with.

Fandom News!

• Vote in the Celebrity Deathmatch poll between Perry Mason and Ben Matlock.

Goofing Off With Water and the Bard

Amy's clearly enjoying herself on International Goof-off Day, although I'm not sure that her niece's wedding is the most appropriate setting. Then again, considering her niece is marrying a complete goof, maybe she's got the right idea after all.

If you decide to goof off today, please also remember to stay hydrated because it's World Water Day! Or you could goof off by spraying people with water pistols. Maybe Sandi will amuse us all by pretending to drown in two feet of water...wait, she was serious? Never mind.

Zounds! Thou shalt also speaketh in the Elizabethan fashion, for it be Talk Like William Shakespeare Day! Kevin and Brittany, if we're lucky, will skip the Romeo and Juliet scene.

Fanfic Update!

• Flaw of Attraction, by wilddogjj (parts 1 and 2): "Jamie, Chuck, Jim, Kevin and Chris were sitting on the porch drinking beer and engaging in lighthearted conversation." (Part 2)


• Homecoming, by davidfalkayn (part 16): "'I can’t believe Daria said that.' Jim whispered to the blonde girl standing next to him. 'It sounded like she was wishing for Elizaveta to die.'"


• Spider Quinn 07: Ashes to Ashes, by cfardellbrenorenz29 (part 6): "Quinn was doing her homework in the loungeroom when she heard the doorbell. She went and opened it. She saw Stacy, Tiffany and Tori."

Ribbit!

Kevin's out chilling on his lily pad for World Frog Day, but I hope he isn't expecting Brittany to help turn him back into a human. I mean, kiss a slimy old frog? No way! Imagine the warts!

It might help to refresh her memory of the story "The Frog Prince," because it's also World Storytelling Day. Daria will probably regale us all with a gruesome spin on the old story, so I hope no one has eaten recently.

I suppose Artie could share his alien encounter story yet again for Extraterrestrial Abductions Day, but I'm not sure we want to bring back all of that trauma. After all, he's probably never going to find anyone to press his pants so nicely ever again.

Their Manic Expressions are Almost Hypnotic

Daria and Jane are giving it everything they've got for Act Happy Day, but I really think they could stand to take it down a few notches. It's "act happy," not "act completely insane."

In fact, those grins are so uncomfortable to watch I wonder if they're actually trying to celebrate Awkward Moments Day instead. I wouldn't think Daria would need to go out of her way for that one; awkward moments seem to follow her wherever she goes.

I hope everyone observes Global Recycling Day by keeping as much as you can out of landfills. Yes, Fashion Club, this can also apply to wearing outfits more than once.

Fanfic Update!

• Bad Movie Night, by Hieronymouse (COMPLETE!): "Jane (as Daria arrives): Hola, amiga. This Bad Movie Night is a little different." "


• The Betrothed, by easmith (part 19): "Abby showed up at the Adams rooms about ten o’clock the next morning, bright-eyed and cheery, a marked contrast to her mood the night before."


• hold on, by sixspades (parts 1 and 2): "Jane had excitedly told her parents just a week ago about her kindergarten graduation, her eyes bright and tugging at her mother's shirt to try and bring her gaze down to her." (Part 2)"


• Homecoming, by davidfalkayn (parts 10 - 15): "'I remember everything as if it happened yesterday.' Angie recalled, taking a sip of coffee as she recounted the events that led up to her girlfriend’s death and her arrival in a new universe." (Part 11) (Part 12) (Part 13) (Part 14) (Part 15)


• Spider Quinn 07: Ashes to Ashes, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 5): "'Checkmate,' Tricia said. 'But then I think your head wasn’t in it.'"

Start Your Fashionable Engines!

Stacy's having a great time for International Sports Car Racing Day, and I just can't get enough of how genuinely happy she looks. It's amazing what finding your calling and getting the hell away from toxic people can do for your outlook on life!

Meanwhile, Linda might be taking another try with a bow and arrow for National Archer Day, but the holiday is actually for people named Archer. But I'm not going to be the one to tell her, at least not while she's armed. Go ahead and make your own "phrasing" jokes if you feel like it.

Finally, it was on this day in 1998 that the episode "That Was Then, This is Dumb" first aired. It was a blast from the past for the Morgendorffers, but the real mindblower is that about the same amount of time has passed between Helen and Jake's commune days and the episode as between the episode and today. Feeling old? I know I am.

Fandom News!

• Vote in the Celebrity Deathmatch poll between ALF and Uncle Martin.

Don't Hold Her Tightly In Your Hands!

Daria's taking the direct approach to Learn about Butterflies Day, but it would really be easier to just ask Amanda Lane, Lawndale's resident butterfly expert. Especially because if she goes near Jane, she risks getting her delicate little wings torn off.

Why not get out a crunchy snack in honor of National Potato Chip Day? You can have your choice of flat or ridgy! Be sure not to get any that are too strongly flavored, though, as the last thing you want is to fight the dip. Or so I've heard, anyway.

If potato chips aren't your snack of choice, then you could celebrate Popcorn Lover’s Day instead. The Fashion Club will probably opt for the no-salt, no-oil, fat-free variety, but they might as well eat some styrofoam peanuts.

Fanfic Update!

• Homecoming, by davidfalkayn (parts 4 - 9): "Pivoting quickly about, Angie gasped as she immediately recognized her old bedroom back home—including cheerleading and dance trophies as well as her collection of mysteries and science fiction books." (Part 5) (Part 6) (Part 7) (Part 8) (Part 9)


• Roasted, by wilddogjj (COMPLETE!): "Quinn and Jim were in the home office. She listened patiently as he told his side of the story. Fortunately for Jim, she knew that he was telling the truth."

How Much Punishment Will You Take for Some Thin Mints?

Looks like the Girl Scouts are taking an aggressive tactic to celebrate Girl Scouts Day, but I guess if it sells cookies then you can't argue with results. I hope Jane celebrates, too, perhaps by singing that song about John Jacob Jingleheimer somebody.

Meanwhile, Jake's mother should know that today is National Ruth Day, so she should go out and treat herself. Maybe she could buy herself an extra-special girdle!

Is anyone in the mood for a nature hike down memory lane? On this day in 2001, the episode "Camp Fear" aired, and I will never look at watermelons the same way again.

Fandom News!

• R.I.P., Akira Toriyama.


• Vote in the Celebrity Deathmatch poll between Jem and Melodia.


• Post in a new thread to vent about things that drive you crazy.

Did Someone Step on a Cat?

Joey is playing his heart out for International Bagpipe Day, but I seriously doubt Quinn will be impressed by his efforts. I mean, it's not like Boyz R Guyz ever released a bagpipe single, right? Ewwwww.

That said, bagpipes would be an awfully effective alarm clock, especially for those of us who just aren't feeling the time change for daylight saving time. Spring forward my ass; I'd rather have that hour of sleep back.

Today we celebrate a triple anniversary because the episodes "The Invitation," "Depth Takes a Holiday," and "A Tree Grows in Lawndale" all aired on this day in 1997, 1999, and 2000. No one played any bagpipes in any of those, but "Depth Takes a Holiday" did feature Holiday Island's number-one harpsichord player...acoustic and electric.

Fanfic Update!

• best laid plans, by notkimberlyerikson (COMPLETE!): "'you gonna order sometime today?' 'sorry, sorry-!' I’ve been standing at the counter trying to figure out what I want for about 5 minutes."


• Homecoming, by DavidFalkayn (part 3): "'What the...!' Jake exclaimed as he, his wife, and the others with them suddenly appeared on a platform of some sort in a room where a man and a woman, the woman wearing a gold miniskirt similar to Angie’s, and the man wearing a red shirt and black pants, stood."


• Roasted, by wilddogjj (part 5): "Quinn and her husband, Jim, were sitting up in bed talking about how he's now a suspect in a murder investigation."


• Spider Quinn 07: Ashes to Ashes, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 4): "Even so, Sandi continued to spread her rumors..."


• Titanic - A True Story, by Sheila Wisz Ellayn (COMPLETE!): "The wind carried a deep forest scent everywhere as Larry Fitzgerald Cappstein tried to convince himself that all of this was not just a dream."

It's a Competition to See Who Can Be the Nastiest!

You might think that Helen and Linda just wanted to wish each other a happy International Women’s Day, but in reality they're taking the opportunity to brag to each other about their latest accomplishments. I'm sure it will end in either an argument or a fistfight, and it will certainly be entertaining to find out which one.

Indeed, I think it's more likely that the two of them are celebrating Be Nasty Day, and it wouldn't surprise me to learn that Quinn and Sandi are doing exactly the same thing. The apples don't fall far from the bitchy tree, after all.

I personally would rather celebrate National Proofreading Day, because there's nothing more fun than nitpicking uther peeple's mitsakes! And here's a shout out to the unsung heroes of fanfiction, the beta readers.

Fandom News!

• The Jodie series is dead.

Let's See Those Pearly Whites!

I don't think Mr. DeMartino (or, more accurately, Metal Mouth) is having a very good Dentists Day but that's probably because I strongly suspect Mr. O'Neill is not actually qualified to practice dentistry. His speeches would make a pretty good general anasthetic, though.

Let's hope your teeth are in good condition, because it's National Frozen Food Day and you'll want to be able to chew that food! Of course, you could always cook the food instead of trying to bite into solid ice, but where's the fun in that? Three guesses as to which frozen food the Morgendorffers will be eating, and the first two don't count.

Finally, I would suggest that we wish Brian a happy National Brian Day, but neither Daria character named Brian really deserves to have a good day. We've got Brian Taylor the animal torturer or Brian Danielson the slimy husband of Erin. Thanks but no thanks.

Fanfic Update!

• The Betrothed, by easmith (parts 17 and 18): "The sky outside Tíra was a solid silver gray, with only the slightest variegations showing that the shade resulted from a solid covering of clouds and not some metal dome stretched over the mountain." (Part 18)


• Spider Quinn 07: Ashes to Ashes, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 3): "She looked at the time: 11:34. That was quite late. She switched off the light and then opened the door rather slowly so as to not make a sound."


• This is Not America, by ladyevil (COMPLETE!): "'Don’t forget those cum shields she always wears!' snickered Tiffany F. as Tori drew a crude picture on the bathroom wall of Daria giving Mr. O’Neill a blowjob."


• Titanic - A True Story, by Sheila Wisz Ellayn (COMPLETE!): "Spring had arrived just as warm and sunny as it often was in that part of the country, with the flowers blooming, the birds flying everywhere and the grass getting greener with every day that passed."

Stay Safe (and Un-Concussed) Out There!

A surprisingly clean-cut Trent is back from the war and looking for someone to help him celebrate Hug a GI Day! I'm sure Daria will be happy to volunteer, just as soon as she regains the ability to speak. Or move. Or think.

Don't worry, though; she's just a little shy. She's not observing Brain Injury Awareness Day, but I hope Tommy Sherman did after at least some of those close encounters with the goal posts. I mean, there were clearly some lasting aftereffects.

As Kevin the ex-safety lecturer can tell you, it's best to be careful on the field (and everywhere else) because it's National Safety Day! Wear a helmet when you try to pop a wheelie and don't accept any rides in The Tank under any circumstances!

Fandom News!

• ThePatchedVest has posted a new art thread.


• Should literary adaptations be true to the original or different?


• Vote in the Celebrity Deathmatch poll between Felix Unger and Adrian Monk.


• Share your non-Daria projects in the new Shameless Self-Promotion Thread!

Like You Need an Excuse for a Good Book

Daria is not exactly celebrating Read Across America Day, but she is enjoying Read Quietly At Home Day, and that's just as good. Feel free to join in yourself, even if you aren't in America!

However, if you'd like to become an American then today's the right day for it because it's also American Citizenship Day! I hope Mr. DeMartino has his paperwork in order just in case Ms. Barch decides to be extra spiteful again.

On this day in 1998, the episode "Quinn the Brain" first aired and kicked off the debate that would never end for fandom: is Daria secretly smoking hot? Long after the seas have boiled away and the sun has gone supernova, there will be fans debating this very important issue.

Fanfic Update!

• Daria Enrolls At Nevermore: An Experiment, by Meester_Lee (part 14): "Catherine’s reaction was worth the bother of transfiguration. She walked into Enid’s dorm room, scowled at Enid, then did a double-take when she saw what was sharing Enid’s bed."


• Daria On The Trail, by meesterlee (part 58): "Mr. Parkhurst and I decided not to talk about Mammoths until we completed our descent from the summit of Salt River Pass, which was a wise move on our part."


• Homecoming, by DavidFalkayn (part 2): "'So...how are you holding up? Really.' Jane Lane, working furiously on her painting, brush strokes wild and chaotic reflecting the Lovecraftian atmosphere of the painting, asked, the teen artist’s voice tone tinged with worry for her auburn-haired best friend lying on the bed, looking up at the ceiling."


• Parting Gift, by Rémi (parts 8 and 9): "Daria Morgendorffer was moping in her room. She was sitting on her bed, more prostrate than ever." (Part 9)


• Spider Quinn 07: Ashes to Ashes, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 2): "Sandi didn’t believe her eyes when she saw Stacy and Quinn approaching."


• Titanic - A True Story, by Sheila Wisz Ellayn (parts 32 and 33): "Anna Coulthard thought that the stars she loved had never looked so strange in her life." (Part 33)