Polly DOES Want a Cracker!

Don't be distracted by Upchuck's pirate outfit; in reality he's celebrating World Parrot Day with a new feathery friend! I hope his bird is friendlier than Chiquito, or else he might be in serious danger.

Let's just hope the parrot leaves his ears alone because it's also Save Your Hearing Day and Mr. Matthews from the pet store can attest that birds and ears do not mix. I wonder if that's what happened to Mrs. Blaine?

Speaking of healthy choices, please be sure not to smoke in honor of World No Tobacco Day. Yes, Mr. DeMartino, that means you...especially given your heart condition. I would mention Trent, but I think we all know that he doesn't smoke...tobacco.

Fandom News!

• ObbyDent wonders how the fandom reacted to the S4 finale back in the day.


• Trump has been convicted on all counts in his hush-money trial.

Cliiiiiiimb Eeeeeeevery Moooooountaaaaain

Tiffany is giving Mount Everest Day a shot, but I don't give her very good odds of succeeding. Her brainpower under normal circumstances is iffy, so in the thin air of a mountaintop she'd probably be even more useless than usual.

For those who'd like to keep both feet (and maybe the rest of themselves) on the ground, there's always Learn About Composting Day! Just ask Willow and Helen for some pointers...or at least ask Willow, anyway. I think Helen's had her fill of the whole thing.

If you're interested in learning about other gross things, you might talk to Jane and Daria about End of the Middle Ages Day, and I'm sure they'd be happy to pass along some fun facts. Although I use the terms "fun" and "facts" quite loosely.

Fanfic Update!

• The Betrothed, by easmith (part 23): "Meredith pulled away with all the force of a full-blown panic, a jolt of pain shooting from her shoulder telling her that she was nearly dislocating her arm out of its socket in the process."


• Life Gets Better Every Letter That You Write Me, by ladyevil (part 2): "Dear Trent, Daria stared at the blank page."

Daria and Jane need to take a couple of deep breaths because it's Nothing to Fear Day and they shouldn't be so jumpy. Unless Jake's experimenting in the kitchen again, in which case it's completely appropriate to panic.

They should be a little nervous about skin cancer, though, so I do recommend that they (and everyone use) protect themselves for Sun Screen Day. I sure hope Quinn remembered to bring enough for the whole Fashion Club. Another trip to PayDay would definitely be reason to be afraid.

I hope everyone here in the United States has an excellent Memorial Day, and remember to take a moment to reflect on those who died in service to their country.

Fandom News!

• How do you think Daria would be as a parent?


• obbydent is looking for Daria lost media.


• groverman62 wonders if the new canon was surprisingly optimistic.

Party On, Hoopy Froods!

Mrs. Johanssen clearly knows where her towel is for Towel Day, and I hope you have a good idea where yours is, too! For those who aren't aware, this holiday is a reference to The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams, and if you haven't read it I highly recommend it.

The book is a must-have for all geeks, which is excellent because today is also Geek Pride Day. It goes without saying that the Daria fandom tends to lean towards the geekier side of things, so please enjoy whatever geeky pursuits you want today without any embarrassment!

You can even burst into song for National Sing Out Day, although I kind of hope that the Daria cast doesn't. Some of them couldn't carry a tune in a bucket, and the songs from "Daria!" are some of the worst earworms.

Fanfic Update!

• Spider Quinn 09 A Part of the Journey, by cfardellbrenorenz29 (part 1): "Quinn Morgendorffer wasn’t sure why Ted Dewit-Cinton wanted her to accompany her on his interview of Norman Osborn."

I Especially Like the Teenage Mutant Ninja Variety!

Ms. Barch seems to have expanded her hatred of males beyond human limits for World Turtle Day, so everybody needs to take shelter inside their shells as soon as possible. The good news is that Upchuck, Mack, and any other usual targets of her rage will have an easy time outrunning her now. The bad news is that Ms. Barch is going to live a lot longer.

In particular, I hope Ethan Yaeger will stay out of her way because it's National Ethan Day and he shouldn't have to deal with that kind of drama on his day. Quinn might consider taking him out for another slush cup, but she'll most likely have to pay again. It should be a good opportunity to dig up some more dirt on her parents, though!

Fandom News!

• Adult Swim is going to launch a Toonami Rewind block on May 31.

Do You Suppose Daria Ever Tried Waitressing?

Andrea's trying a new career choice for National Waiters and Waitresses Day, and I suppose it can't be much worse than working at PayDay. In fact, this could give her the opportunity to hone her snark and get paid for it!

She could pick up some pointers from the waitress at Mom's Diner on carsickness remedies for National Stop Nausea Day, too. Daria's best option was dry toast and tea, but I'm sure there are other possibilities out there.

Finally, it was on this day in 2001 that the episode "One J at a Time" first aired, and Quinn gave monogamy a spin. When that failed, Jake and the three Js gave go-karting a spin, which was much more fun for all involved.

Fanfic Update!

• Sweet and Sour Night, by RadioFox (COMPLETE!): "'Okay sweetheart, it's time to get ready for bed,' Helen walked up to Jane. 'Awww, it was just getting good,' Jane pouted and crossed her arms."

Don't Plant Any Baked Goods, Though

Helen and Rita are joining forces for what may be the first time ever in order to celebrate World Baking Day! Fortunately for them, the holiday only says "baking" and doesn't mention anything about the recipes being from scratch. Enjoy those cookies, ladies!

If you're looking for a bit more of a challenge, you might consider Plant Something Day. A flower, a tree, a Tommy Sherman Memorial Crutch...as long as you plant something, you're good!

More specifically, you could put in some nutritious food for World Plant a Vegetable Garden Day. The DeWitt-Clinton family can probably offer you advice on planting corn, squash, and beans, but I don't recommend spending too much time in their company. A little of them goes a long way.

Fandom News!

• R.I.P., Dabney Coleman.

For Daria, It's Safer Than Driving

Daria and Jane are taking absolutely no chances on Walk Safely To School Day, because you never know when a crack in the sidewalk or a pebble in the path will trip you up. Of course, the real danger is a crush pulling up next to you and embarrassing you to death.

I sure hope Helen calls Linda Griffin to wish her a happy National Linda Day, if only because she's Helen's favorite Linda who lives in Lawndale and is the mother of one's of Quinn's friends. If she's lucky, she might get to hear that story about interviewing Rosalynn Carter. Again.

Fanfic Update!

• Homecoming, by davidfalkayn (part 25): "'School starts tomorrow.' Stacy sighed as she changed out of her sleepshirt and into her clothes for the day—jeans and a pale blue t-shirt. 'That means Quinn should be calling anytime now.'"


• Movin' On Up, by wilddogjj (part 2): "Angie was packing her things into boxes in order to move them into the house she'd just rented. Her parents, Kevin and Brittany, were trying to process the bombshell of her moving out."

Are Chocolate Chip Flowers a Thing?

It would appear that Kevin is celebrating Bring Flowers To Someone Day with a girl who only exists in his imagination. I hope that you have someone you'd like to give flowers to, and that they actually exist in real life.

Flowers are okay, but I would prefer a sweet treat in keeping with National Chocolate Chip Day! Chocolate chip cookies would be awesome, but not if they're being offered by a creepily-smiling Daria.

Just save the smiles for home, Daria, because it's International Day of Families! Not that I expect the Morgendorffers to spend much quality time together, but maybe they could at least say "hi" to each other in passing?

Fandom News!

• BloodyWilliam is looking for alter ego #100 suggestions.

Swapping Shoulder Pads for Lily Pads

I see Kevin is ready to celebrate Frog Jumping Day, or perhaps Dr. Shar has veered into the truly bizarre for her surgical procedures. Either way, his new leaping skills should come in handy on the football field! Just steer clear of Brittany, because I doubt she's going to want to spend any time in the backseat of a car with a slimy frog.

Green must be the color of the day, though, because it's also Leprechaun Day. Let's hope the spirit of St. Patrick's Day has a pleasant day, and doesn't have to go chasing after any renegade holidays from Holiday Island.

Fanfic Update!

• Movin' On Up, by wilddogjj (part 1): "Kevin was changing the oil in his lawn mower. Actually, Jim was showing Kevin how to change the oil. Kevin watched as Jim installed the filter."


• Spider Quinn 08 The Three Misfits, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (COMPLETE!): "'This was a bad idea,' Gerald said. 'Just because Ben got bit by a snake doesn’t mean it’s a bad idea!' Quinn said."

Don Quixote or Don QB?

Happy National Windmill Day to all, but especially Brittany who decided to take the concept and just run with it. Or rather, she would run if she hadn't somehow transformed herself into an immobile structure. Spin on, Brittany!

Speaking of people who love windmills, I wonder if the Gupty kids need looking after for National Babysitters Day, but if so then I'm pretty sure Daria will pass on the opportunity. She might want to apologize to her own past babysitters now that she's been on the other side, though.

Finally, it's Eat What You Want Day, not that Daria and Jane ever did anything else. With greasy pizza, raw cookie dough, and cheese fries, by adulthood they must have been a cardiologist's worst nightmare.

Fandom News!

• wouter explains a big mistake that he avoided.

To Plummet Will Be an Awfully Big Adventure!

Mr. O'Neill is living out his dream of never growing up just in time for the anniversary of J. M. Barrie's birth in 1860. Let's just hope for his sake that the stage hands haven't had to listen to his speeches on self-actualization, because the temptation to let him fall would be very strong.

Everybody keep thinking happy thoughts, and if yours involves finding that missing sock you've been looking for then all the better because it's Lost Sock Memorial Day! I suggest checking the arm of Jane's jacket, especially if she's been spending time in the laundry room with Bobby Bighead.

The Fashion Club might like to know that today is National Sleepover Day, but given how the last one went I suppose they might not. One more sleepover and those haircut dream sequences may not be dreams anymore.

Fanfic Update!

• Ghosting Quinn, by wilddogjj (part 1): "Quinn and her husband, Jim, were in the kitchen beginning to make Sunday dinner. They were making a classic Carbone standby, spaghetti with Sunday gravy (a homemade, meat heavy tomato sauce that's a staple of Italian-American cuisine)."


• Katie Huegel, by Meester_Lee (part 6): "Trent awoke to the sound of someone playing an electric guitar. He briefly wondered why somebody was playing an electric guitar in the basement?"


• A November of Change, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 1): "Daria Morgendorffer returned to her dorm room after her American Literature class. 'Not everthing that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced,' she thought."

"Are you ready to par-tay crazy?"

Bing and/or Spatula Man (does it really matter which is which?) is prepared to celebrate Radio Day...whether anyone wants him to or not. Just so we're clear, the answer is not. To read about radio that's actually entertaining, check out Ken Tremberth and Erin Mills's "Free Radio Lawndale."

While you're trying to tune out the Mental in the Morning DJs, you might visit the Big Strawberry in honor of National Tourism Day. It's the only tourist attraction Lawndale has, so you might as well make the most of it!

Then we can wish a happy National Teacher’s Day to all of the faculty at Lawndale High. Honestly, though, they'd rather just have higher pay, fewer demands from Ms. Li, or just some basic human dignity.

Fandom News!

• MeTV is doing their own Cartoon Network. What do you think?

Make Sure You Check Out the Skull Crusher!

Who wants to see a salivary gland tumor at the Museum of Medical Oddities for Museum Lover's Day? I'm sure Daria does, but I don't think very many people will want to join her. Especially not Jake.

Jane, meanwhile, would prefer to celebrate Cartoonists Day by making some unflattering caricatures. We only got to see a few examples of her cartoon work on the show, but I frankly would love to see more.

In fact, it would be doubly appropriate for Jane to come up with some witty drawings because it's also World Laughter Day! Get out there and find something to make you chuckle...except for Daria, who doesn't like fun.

Fanfic Update!

• The Betrothed, by easmith (part 22): "Dylan stood in front of the judge in his office, nervously shifting his weight from one foot to the other. He couldn’t shake the feeling that the clerk, sitting in the back corner to act as witness, was staring at him, the man’s eyes boring holes in his back."


• Homecoming, by davidfalkayn (part 24): "'I have to get ready for the meeting, Mom.' Angie said as she put the last of the dishes into the dishwasher."


• Spider Quinn 08 The Three Misfits, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 5): "Quinn was excited to be back at school. The holidays weren’t exactly, happy times, with her father no longer around."

Cynics! In! Spaaaaaaace!

Daria is locked and loaded for Space Day, perhaps because outer space is the only place she can go to read in peace without idiots interrupting her. Then again, this may be her costume for the latest Alien Convention, almost guaranteed to feature Artie.

It's worth pointing out that she's wearing pants instead of a skirt, which is in direct conflict with National No Pants Day. Fortunately, both Jake and Trent are happy to celebrate this one even if she's sitting it out.

Finally, even though it's Friday it's also Sun Day! Yeah, I know. Still, the sun is a part of space, so I guess it fits. Just don't go out pantsless during daylight hours, okay?

Fandom News!

• Longtime member of Daria fandom Kem has died.


• Discuss ongoing immigrant controversies in the UK.


• R.I.P., Duane Eddy.

Hickory Dickory Doc Martens

Daria's got both her goose and her book of nursery rhymes ready for Mother Goose Day, but I think most of them are common enough that she won't need to look them up. I mean, we already know she's got "Unto...buckle my shoe" on lock!

She ought to start with Jack and Jill in honor of Couple Appreciation Day, which is better than trying to appreciate any of the canon couples on Daria. Jake and Helen have their cute moments, but far more often they argue or ignore each other. Barch and O'Neill are about as dysfuntional as it gets and the less said about Brittany and Kevin, the better.

One character who never got paired off was Ms. Li, who gets a brief mention because it's School Principals' Day. I suppose her obsession with security and embezzlement might count as a kind of love affair of its own, but let's not even get into that.

Fanfic Update!

• Life Gets Better Every Letter That You Write Me, by ladyevil (part 1): "Dear Daria, How’s my mermaid? Well, I finally got some time to write to you."