Do Turtles Get Divorced?

Ms. Barch has either decided to give a very unusual zoology demonstration or else perhaps she's celebrating World Turtle Day. Either way, it should be a day no one in her class forgets! Upchuck will be relieved; now he can outrun her if necessary.

I hope the Yeagers wish Ethan a happy National Ethan Day, and perhaps let him go rock climbing to celebrate. When he's ready, of course.

Two days ago was the anniversary of "One J at a Time," in which Quinn gives monogamy a spin but ultimately decides not to bother. Considering her potential steady boyfriends left her without a second thought in favor of squirrels and go-karting, I'm not sure I blame her.

The deadline to vote in the 2025 Daria Fanworks Awards has been extended to Monday, May 25. Please vote if you haven't yet!

Fanfic Update!

• Daria: The Risa 1000, by echopapa (parts 1 - 9): "'Let me get this straight,' Daria said, her voice flat enough to serve as a level for a warp core. 'Our plan for "relaxation" involves borrowing a legendary grav-bike from a Fleet Admiral, "borrowing" a Starfleet Runabout from a supervisor who is legally required to stop us, and then flying both into a curated typhoon on a planet known for its "Jamaharon" hospitality. Did I miss anything, or is the insanity quota for the morning finally filled?'" (Part 2) (Part 3) (Parts 4 and 5) (Part 6) (Parts 7 and 8) (Part 9)


• Every Rowe Has It's Thorn, by wilddogjj (COMPLETE!): "Adam Rowe was on a dinner date with Lauren Alvarez, a VERY attractive woman in her thirties. The dinner date was going very well as the two made conversation." (Part 3)


• Spider Quinn 21 A View of Oakwood and Ruins, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 7): "The Enigma lowered the forcefield she had used to protect herself and Dafoanairi. 'Of course he’d trap it like that!' she groused." (Part 8)

Do You Suppose Daria Ever Tried Waitressing?

Andrea's trying a new career choice for National Waiters and Waitresses Day, and I suppose it can't be much worse than working at PayDay. In fact, this could give her the opportunity to hone her snark and get paid for it!

She could pick up some pointers from the waitress at Mom's Diner on carsickness remedies for National Stop Nausea Day, too. Daria's best option was dry toast and tea, but I'm sure there are other possibilities out there.

Finally, it was on this day in 2001 that the episode "One J at a Time" first aired, and Quinn gave monogamy a spin. When that failed, Jake and the three Js gave go-karting a spin, which was much more fun for all involved.

Fanfic Update!

• Sweet and Sour Night, by RadioFox (COMPLETE!): "'Okay sweetheart, it's time to get ready for bed,' Helen walked up to Jane. 'Awww, it was just getting good,' Jane pouted and crossed her arms."

Think Healthy, Eat Healthy, and Chase Rats With Fluffy Tails!

Looks like the Fashion Club is going to give World Meditation Day a try, but I'm not sure there would be much point. I mean, their minds have already been cleared of all thoughts, so why bother?

You could also try for a healthier lifestyle by celebrating Eat More Fruits and Vegetables Day...or just take them to the Food in Film Festival and throw them at the screen.

When Quinn has finished meditating and eating carrot sticks, I hope she finally chooses between her three admirers because it's the twenty-second anniversary of "One J at a Time" and those boys have got to be tired of waiting for her to make up her mind. Unless they've gone off on another squirrel-related adventure and forgotten all about her.

Fandom News!

• Discuss the drag artist who couldn't get through security.


• Share your dreams in a new thread.

She Does Have a Mouth on Her....

Andrea freaking dares you to mock her new part-time job for National Waiters and Waitresses Day. Just try it. Meanwhile, Daria is still thinking about starting that new life as a waitress. If only the job didn't involve talking to...you know...people.

Today is also the anniversary of the episode "One J at a Time," which aired on this day in 2001. Never mind the A-plot of Quinn trying to choose a steady boyfriend; I could watch an entire episode of Jake and the boys having squirrel-related hi-jinks!

Fanfic Update!

• Body Negativity (The Carbones), by WildDogJJ (part 1): "Quinn was seated at the vanity in the master bedroom brushing her hair and getting ready to start her day. Finally, she stopped brushing."


• A c0da to Live By (General "Daria in Morrowind" Thread), by welltemperedclavier (COMPLETE!): "Andril Golthyn, once Dimartani, lived to serve. They said that the evil within Red Mountain was no more. Yet Andril watched all the same."


• Daria in the Background (IC : Daria doesn't need glasses), by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 3): "Daria walked towards Brittany’s mansion. She had already seen several of her fellow students as she had walked through the gated estate."

"Ever thought of becoming a waitress?"

Andrea promises she definitely, absolutely, cross-her-heart-and-hope-to-die did not spit in your food on this National Waiters and Waitresses Day. Just to be safe, though, I'd promise to leave her a big tip after she brings you your five boxes of Frosted Flakes.

Today is also the anniversary of the episode "One J at a Time," which aired on this day in 2001. Quinn dabbled in monogamy, which somehow turned into a squirrel hunt and ended with go-kart racing. Is it an example of how creative and eclectic the show could be or just a cheap gag to end the episode? Oh, look. Rolls.

Fanfic Update!

• Coffee, by Zetor (part 2d): "Daria chuckled and sat down on her couch, sinking in comfortably. Leaning forward, she grabbed the remote off the coffee table and brought the TV to life."


• Cuckoos On Infinite Earths, by Smijey (part 15): "Janice Walker took a moment to massage her aching autograph hand and shift around the uncomfortable gold chains she wore around her neck. These con gigs were just the worst."


• Death Of A Dream (Quinn, Season 4), by WildDogJJ (COMPLETE!): "Quinn and Stacy are sitting in a booth having lunch and catching up. By now Stacy is visibly pregnant. Stacy: Thanks for having lunch with me, Quinn. Quinn: No problem, Stacy. How are things?" (Part 3)


• Fear and Trembling, by Two-Eyed Charlie (part 1): "Timothy O'Neill had once told Daria Morgendorffer that she was, in essence, a gender-swapped version of him from back when he was in his late teens."


• How cliche could you get?, by starwater09 (part 11): "It had been two weeks since Jodie's party and Daria still refused to speak with Kevin. Every time he tried to call her it would go to voice mail. Every time he came to her or Jane's house she was never there."


• Unnamed story (Ill-Conceived Crossovers), by atimnie (COMPLETE!): "Jane ran quickly down the street, occasionally glancing at the sky, and at an odd alien-looking ring on her right hand. When she saw Daria, she grabbed her by the hand, still running, dragging Daria with her."

No Pity for This Fool

Mr. O'Neill only wishes he could be this awesome. In reality, he is perhaps the biggest fool Mr. T, who was born on this day in 1952, has ever pitied. For more Daria/Mr. T. fun, see Smijey's The Mr. T. Trilogy.

And speaking of fools, today also marks the fifteenth anniversary of the episode "One J at a Time." Between Jake's squirrel-catching antics and Quinn's doomed-from-the-start search for a boyfriend, there was plenty of foolishness to go around in that one.

Fandom News!

• Talk about politics in the 2016 U.S. Presidential Campaign Miscellany Thread.


• Can you help tafka with her Deviantart woes?

Yeah, He Wishes He Was That Cool

Mr. O'Neill pities the fool that doesn't know today is Mr. T's 63rd birthday. Sadly, Mr. O'Neill seems completely unaware that he is the fool that is to be pitied. Fans of Mr. T may also enjoy Smijey/Smilefax's The Mr. T Trilogy, a Mr. T/Daria crossover.

Speaking of fools, today is also the anniversary of the first airing of "One J at a Time" in 2001. Quinn tried and failed at getting a steady boyfriend while Jake tried and succeeded at catching a squirrel. I'm not sure which of them was better for the experience.

Fanfic Update!

• Badass, by LadieTAG (prologue): "A shadow of a man sitting in a chair comes across the room like a ghost. The only noise that can be heard is the sounds of Beethoven echoing hauntingly from an upstairs grand piano."


• Is it Curtain Yet?, by Zetor (part 5a): "'This was a mistake.' Daria was exhausted. The sun still hadn't quite set yet, and the mid-Summer heat was at its peak."


• A New Beginning, by LadieTAG (part 12): "Amy reached over and gently squeezed Quinn's shoulder. Amy was a little surprised to find out that Quinn had forgiven Daria and that they were working on becoming friends."


• A New World, by breitasparrow (part 4): "Finally Daria's mind was taken off of all that when Tom spoke up first. 'Well... I think I know what I wanna do,' he said."


• Really? I'm a Star!, by DIsaac (intro): "Daria Maxwell: I'm Daria Maxwell, I was a child star. Where? (Opening notes of Daria theme plays) DM: Yep, My self titled show, Daria."


• Sonoma Coma, by jtranser (part 20): "Seated in a booth of GobyBurger, Daria and Jane watched an interview of pop culture media maven Carl Hotoke on the local public access channel while eating Cosmic Burgers with Psycho Sauce...."


• You'll Know When You Have Kids of Your Own, by metameric1 (parts 4 and 5): "Rusty Michaelson pulled up to the little cottage, stepping off her rail just as the voltage dropped enough to be noticeable. Much better now; it had enough juice to make it over the crown of the hill, and she could pretty much coast all the way down the soft grade to the crappy neighborhood she called home." (Part 5)

One J at a Time, On Time?

A few days ago I somehow got the idea that the anniversary of "The Story of D" had just come and gone. Except that I was two months off. That happened on March 19th, not May 19th. Sorry.

"One J at a Time" (and I have checked this twice now) was broadcast eight years ago tonight. Must be the flu and the frustration of trying to post on PPMB getting me all screwed up.

More shortly. Interesting that Tom bought Daria a rare book from the Internet. Interesting if after Daria and Tom broke up, she got something else from him that he ordered off the Internet, either before or after the breakup. Very interesting.

PPMB

• Don't Bet on It, Episode V: The Final Chapter. Srsly. by Lawndale Lurker (COMPLETE!): “Jane, be reasonable. I know a little about your financial situation, remember. Your mortgage is due. Your cupboard is bare. The wolf is at the door. The owl is on the roof. You're about one heavy knock on the door away from sleeping under the railroad overpass with the winos. Or becoming your mortgageholder's kept woman. You can't afford to keep going double or nothing like this."

Cranberry Sauce, Apple Pie, Mashed Potatoes...

Before we continue, Daria has a few words to say about the joys of Thanksgiving: click here. Heh, heh.

More fanfics with a Thanksgiving theme (at least in part, in some cases):

• "Bitter Harvest"
• "Be Careful What You Wish For (Part 2: Jane)" (a bit of horror for the holiday)
• "For This, We're Thankful"
• "Happy Thanksgiving to Everyone!"
• "Daria Went Down to Georgia"
• "There Beneath the Blue Suburban Skies"
• "Southern Thanksgiving"
• "Thanksgiving Lesson"
  

And a visual bonus: the Daria cast at the original Thanksgiving party, by Robin Sena.

ENJOY!