Saturday, December 30, 2017

He's Grrrrrreat!

If you think Jesse is an odd choice to emulate professional golfer Tiger Woods on his 42nd birthday, then let me explain the flawless logic. Although Jesse doesn't seem like the active, sporty type, he does like Frosted Flakes, and the Frosted Flakes mascot is named...drumroll...Tony the Tiger!

See? It makes perfect sense.

Fandom News!

Thursday, December 28, 2017

"Deal me in."

Mack is inviting everyone to join him in a game of poker for Card Playing Day, and the Future Morgendorffers are just about to start a game of Hearts as well. Perhaps the rest of us should follow their example! Unless you would rather not share a heartwarming family moment, in which case fair enough.

I, meanwhile, will be celebrating National Chocolate Candy Day, and don't ask me how that's different from any other day. It just is, okay?

Fanfic Update!
  • Ashley The Seal, by Brother Grimace (parts 1 and 2): "Ever have that strange feeling where you're not sure if you're awake, dreaming or in a really good fantasy - and you don't even care? Welcome to where I am, right now." (Part 2)

  • God Save The Esteem: Punk is Dead, by Charles RB (part 5): "Daria left a night full of punks to enter a house full of punks. You may think there are only two but the smell of puke was akin to an entire squat of crust punks on its own."

  • The Grace Kelly of Our Day... (Scenes No Daria fanfic should have: 600 Years Afterward.....), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "The dress was fitted and tight in places that Daria tried not to think about too much, her hair had been styled and tied back into an elaborate bun, the borrowed jewelry from the Prince's collection felt strange on her fingers, wrist, neck, and the less said about all of the makeup on her face and neck the better."

  • My What Big Teeth You Have, by Anonymous (COMPLETE!): "Daria woke up in the forest, naked and covered in mud. This was not okay."

  • Reflections, by Lady Evil (part 12): "Jane lay face down on the ground as the sound of musket fire filled the air. Play dead she thought. That's what they're paying you for. Just lay on the ground and do nothing. Gotta say, this is the easiest buck I ever made!"

  • Unnamed story (LLH - Short Entries), by Roentgen (parts 79 and 80): "James Brown tunes were playing overhead on the tannoy - Daria didn't know that the Godfather of Soul played so much Christmas music. She had to admit that she was enjoying a little bit of Christmas spirit." (Part 80)

Tuesday, December 26, 2017

Boxing Brittany

I think Brittany's got the wrong idea for Boxing Day, unless this is how she always goes shopping. I suppose the boxing gloves would be an advantage in beating other people (the Fashion Club, for example) to the best deals at Cashman's.

Today is also the start of Kwanzaa, which the Guptys apparently celebrate for some reason per "Pinch Sitter" and Kinesha's First Kwanzaa.

Fandom News!

Sunday, December 24, 2017

'Twas the Night Before....

Christmas, I mean "X," is a little on edge because tomorrow is his big day and he's still got a lot of work to do to get ready. I don't know how he'll manage to juggle his Christmas responsibilities along with his hiphop-punk-electronica band, but if anyone can do it, he can.

Perhaps he should relax with one of those cottages made of gingerbread as well as some eggnog for National Eggnog Day. Just make sure the nog is in season, because the last thing we need is another wacky hallucination-based Daria episode.

Fanfic Update!
  • David M., by ST91 (part 6): "David was in agony. He was tired, sweaty, and every muscle in his body begged for mercy."

  • Daria Ravenclaw: The Highland Years, by Meester_Lee (part 24): "Daria awoke in fright on New Year's Day from a dream where a single day kept repeating itself over and over again. She put out her hand to touch her younger sister's shoulder to reassure herself that this was 1988, not 1987 all over again."

  • Dylan, by J-D (part 37b): "Despite Rod's assurances, Dylan was worried when he saw the two Attorney-General's investigators still showing their faces around school that day, or at least as much of their faces as their dark glasses didn't hide."

  • Freakin' Friends Forever, by Princess_Pasta (parts 3 - 5): "Jane to Daria I haven't heard from you in a few days but I know you're the model college student and you're probably sleeping in the library." (Part 4) (Part 5)

  • God Save The Esteem: Punk is Dead, by Charles RB (parts 3 and 4): "The memorial for Jake raged on at the Zon. The club was a trashed mess and covered with sweaty, half-drunk arseholes and the toilets had clogged up days ago, and as well as the normal day-to-day running it was hosting a memorial for Jake." (Part 4)

  • How cliche could you get?, by starwater09 (part 7): "'Hello Street that hasn't changed one bit.' Jane says with fake esteem. 'Hello Shop that never gets any business but is still open.'"

  • If Elected, I Will (Not) Serve, by JoeMerl (part 2): "Daria was quickly relocated from her isolated Montana cabin to an isolated Montana motel. This seemed redundant, but apparently the Secret Service agents were able to secure it better, being stationed in rooms on either side of her."

  • A Silver Penny, by Shiva (part 3): "Daria Morgendorffer stepped through the entrance of Cedars of Lawndale, her father having dropped her off and was currently looking for a parking space."

  • Unnamed story (LLH - Short Entries), by Roentgen (parts 77 and 78): "Charles Ruttheimer and Quinn Morgendorffer walked into the empty meeting room. Both still wore their Legion uniforms, because neither had bothered to change out of them when returning from outdoors." (Part 78)

  • Unnamed story (World's Shortest Crossover, Part XIV: The Crossover Awakens!), by Meester_Lee (part 1): "Daria Morgendorffer sat uncomfortably in potions class. She wished that she'd kept her subjective age; she felt it undignified to have been de-aged four years and thrown in with eleven year-old."

Friday, December 22, 2017

But Will She Make a Dainty Garland for Her Head?

Quinn's warming up to sing her solo from Madama Butterfly in honor of Giacomo Puccini's birth on this day in 1858, and I hope it goes better than the last time she got onstage for a performance. Hide the turkey legs, everyone! Of course, since the performance (according to Mr. DeMartino) is taking place in the automotive department at Payday, she might need to be more concerned about tire irons.

Fandom News!

Wednesday, December 20, 2017

Fa La LA La La!

I know, it's disturbing to see Daria happy, smiling, and singing with a significant other, but let's just consider it a Go Caroling Day miracle. I'm sure she'll be back to her grouchy, snarky self soon. In the meantime, perhaps we should find out if she does any requests. "Christmas at Ground Zero" is a personal favorite of mine!

Fanfic Update!
  • Daria Ravenclaw: The Highland Years, by Meester_Lee (part 23): "Her dad put a Menorah in the window a day later. Since it was in the middle of Christmas season, Daria didn't think anyone along Whirlwind Drive would pay much attention to what her Dad put in the window or much care. But the girl across the street did."

  • Daria Rewind: 2017 (Scenes No Daria fanfic should have: 600 Years Afterward.....), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "Daria and Jane were in front of a Skype cam in Jane's bedroom chatting with Tori Jericho. 'So Daria and Jane I heard that 2017 was a crazy year for you,' Tori said to them from her studio in New York."

  • Defiant Round Robin Spinoff - Other Characters Appear in Lawndale!, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 1): "Daria and Jane had fallen asleep watching Science Fiction B-Movies. Then Daria vanished, only to be replaced by another young female..."

  • Freakin' Friends Forever, by Princess_Pasta (parts 1 and 2): "Daria to Jane My transition into adulthood started at 7:00 AM and ended after my mom broke down in tears in the middle of the Raft parking lot. I would've taken photos but I still have a shred of dignity (not much but some)." (Part 2)

  • God Save The Esteem: Punk is Dead, by Charles RB (parts 1 and 2): "Across New England, as the news reached them all, every punk-owned business and record store raised a flag so they could lower it to half-mast." (Part 2)

  • How cliche could you get?, by starwater09 (part 6): "God I hope she gets here soon! Daria thinks to herself shivering as she waited outside in front of her car at the train station. 'Finally.' Daria says in relief as she sees her sister approaching her with three luggage bags."

  • Leverage (Scenes No Daria fanfic should have: 600 Years Afterward.....), by Vukodlak (COMPLETE!): "'Let it go, let it go And I'll rise like the break of dawn Let it go, let it go That perfect girl is gone!' Sang Daria to her six year-old son, who smiled with glee at his mother's performance."

  • Unnamed story (LLH - Short Entries), by Roentgen (parts 75 and 76): "'Oh the weather outside is fright-ful! But the fiii-iiire is so DEE-light-fullll!' Quinn practically danced, singing as entered the lobby of Legion Tower, barely carrying six shopping bags." (Part 76)

Monday, December 18, 2017

Jamie's Made a Pig of Himself

What better way to celebrate an oddly-specific holiday like National Roast Suckling Pig Day than with an oddly creepy alter ego like this? I think this is one of those pictures that, no matter how curious you might be, you really don't want to know the full story.

Today is also the anniversary of two 1998 essays by Michelle Klein-Häss, "A Question of Gratitude" and "Control Room UPDATE: A Direct Route Has Been Opened!!!." Nothing earth-shattering, but an interesting peek into what the fandom was like almost twenty years ago.

Fandom News!

Saturday, December 16, 2017

I Mean, I Like Chocolate Too, But Even I Have My Limits!

Mrs. Johanssen has clearly taken National Chocolate Covered Anything Day much too far and covered herself in chocolate. Not only is that going to be really hard to clean, but I'm not sure if she's able to breath. Still, maybe if she's coated in the stuff it'll keep her from eating it against her doctor's orders.

Today is also the anniversary of Jane Austen's birth in 1775, so I can pair two of my favorite things in one day! Of course, we know Daria's an Austen fan as well, based on her parody story during "Write Where It Hurts." I'd bet anything that snarky Elizabeth Bennet is her favorite character, too.

Fanfic Update!
  • Band of Mothers, by Kristen Bealer (COMPLETE!): "Tiffany, who had been staring at her smartphone for the past few minutes, looked up. 'Should I go next?' 'Please do,' Quinn said with a sigh."

  • Coffee, by Zetor (part 1): "Stacy took a generous pull from her mug, savoring the lighter accents in the bitter flavor as the coffee warmed her body. Grabbing a latte from the drive through at Starbucks in the morning was fine, but a fresh roast at an independent shop was something else entirely."

  • Daria and Jane's Family and Family and Family and Family Thanksgiving, by EntrancedCat (COMPLETE!): "Daria put down her knife from the task of dicing the onions to Jane's exacting specifications. 'Arg,' she addressed the classical music announcer on the radio. 'Just play some music; I don't care about your allegedly fond memories of your grandmother's spaetzle.'"

  • Daria Ravenclaw: The Highland Years, by Meester_Lee (part 22): "It was now mid-November. Quinn's seventh birthday was coming up soon, and Quinn was already deep into the planning process of how she wanted to celebrate it."

  • Daria the Rich Bitch (Scenes No Daria fanfic should have: 600 Years Afterward.....), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "Jane glanced at her best friend Daria as her head dipped down for a moment and heard a familiar snorting sound. 'I thought Pablo said his connection couldn't get the good stuff until tomorrow?'"

  • Night Witches, by Panzerfaust 150 (part 13): "President Reagan walked into the Situation Room for the morning military briefing. So far, NATO was holding, just, though there were a few bright spots, along with a few bad ones as well."

  • Rage of Aquarius, by WildDogJJ (COMPLETE!): "Jake, Helen, Quinn and Jim are having Sunday dinner at the table. The food is clams in spicey tomato sauce served over linguine with a huge plate of antipasta as a side dish." (Part 2) (Part 3)

  • A.R.C Chapter 10 Imprisoned, by ST91 (parts 4 and 5): "'Soo will you ...' started to say Andrea before Charles stopped her. 'Yes. Today. During lunch time. I'm thinking about where to take her this weekend.' 'Yeah! Way to go Charles!' said Jane." (Part 5)

  • Standstill, by Princess_Pasta (part 16): "The SUV sped down the highway, thankfully unimpeded by any traffic. Helen was, unusually, in the passenger's seat. Then again, nothing about this situation was usual."

  • Unnamed story (LLH - Short Entries), by Roentgen (parts 72 - 74): "Helen and Jake stepped into Quinn's room at Legion Tower. 'Oh my God!' Helen said. 'What? What?' Jake cried. 'This...this's horrible!' Helen said." (Part 73) (Part 74)

Thursday, December 14, 2017

The Next Cheerleading Practice is Going to Be Odd

Brittany knows that today is International Monkey Day, but she looks more like a gorilla than a monkey. Still, points for trying.

It's possible that she's just being assertive in getting Kevin to take her to Chez Pierre for National Bouillabaisse Day, but I don't think she'd fit through the doors in her current size. No, Brittany, that wasn't a crack about your weight or your boob size. Please put me down now.

If Chez Pierre is too expensive for Kevin at the moment, he could just take her to his old employer, It's a Nutty, Nutty, Nutty World, for a Roast Chestnuts Day snack. Assuming the place is still in business after losing its only two employees in one day, that is.

Fandom News!

Tuesday, December 12, 2017

Save the Internet!

I'm interrupting our usual Daria-related blog posts today for an important message.

In just two days, the Federal Communications Commission is going to vote on rolling back regulations that stop internet service providers from blocking or slowing sites in order to force customers to pay premium prices. Those regulations, known as "Net Neutrality," keep the internet open and allow everyone equal access to information online.

If you live in the United States and want to keep our internet fair and open, please call the FCC at 1-888-225-5322, your senators, and house representatives and ask them to support Net Neutrality.

Sunday, December 10, 2017

What About Library Rights?

This moment of "Awwww!" is brought to you by International Animal Rights Day, and those rights include the right to be adorable. Today is also Human Rights Day, so I guess that pretty much covers every living thing on Earth aside from the vegetation. Unless today is also Plant Rights Day and no one told me.

Just because I'm a librarian and can't resist the chance to geek out a little, today is also the anniversary of Melvil Dewey's birth in 1851. You know, the guy who invented the Dewey Decimal system? A really cool anniversary for fans of library classification systems? Shut up, it is too cool!

Fanfic Update!
  • Band of Mothers, by Kristen Bealer (part 2): "Quinn was using her phone to take multiple pictures of Acai flipping through one of Madison's copies of Junior Waif Magazine. "#futurefashionista!" she giggled, posting all of the pictures on Instagram."

  • Come Together, by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "The slim, dusky Frenchwoman, who wore the uniform of the National Gendarmerie (a branch of the French Armed Forces) and the rank of Chef d'Escadron (the equivalent of a Major or a Lieutenant Commander in the U.S. Armed Forces), shook her head as she walked around to the back of her desk."

  • David M., by ST91 (parts 4 and 5): "After spending some time at the PC writing his stories about Melody Powers, David decided to go to bed. As he undressed, his gaze fell on the reflection in the mirror and as always he saw the damn strapping he hated so much." (Part 5)

  • Evening, by JPAGC (COMPLETE!): "Jake surveyed the remaining of his cooking work and the relatively empty kitchen and sighed. 'I'm alright,' he said to his wife. Helen let go of his arm. Jake wobbled a little, but remained standing. 'Maybe we should go to bed,' he said, looking at his wife."

  • Lust for Life, by elainefr (COMPLETE!): "'You're almost there. Here, let me give you a hand.' He knelt and extended a hand to her climbing form. They'd made it to the top of the makeshift structure in The Strawberry that those that had dared to brave it boasted a breathtaking view of Lawndale."

  • Night of the Short Skirted Cynic, by Meester_Lee (part 4): "'You did?' asked Daria. 'When?' 'During the war, while I was in the Cavalry,' West replied. Daria looked at him and thought silently. Assuming this is 1875, that would be the Civil War, she thought."

  • Now, They're Legal, by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "'Colonel Armalin?' Armalin turned from the opened glass case next to a bookshelf (where he kept his Team Banzai jacket with Blue Blaze Irregular patch) as a thirty-something woman with long, chestnut-hued hair stood at the entrance to his office. "

  • Thanksgiving With The Barksdales (Quinn, Season 2), by WildDogJJ (COMPLETE!): "Jake and Helen are seated at the kitchen table. Quinn is there as she frequently stops by to cook dinner (and make sure Jake eats healthy). Quinn: I told him that he needs to offer healthy choices on the menu, not just the usual greasy stuff, because of the anti-fried food firestorm caused by that movie. He seemed to see the light of reason." (Part 2) (Part 3)

  • Unnamed story (LLH - Short Entries), by Brother Grimace and Roentgen (parts 68 - 71): "So, two days after Revelation Day, we're are all eating in the Camp Tolnai dining facility. (Sergeant Major Nemec said - and Mags agreed - that it would look better if we Legionnaires ate with the military types.)" (Part 69) (Part 70) (Part 71)

  • Unnamed story (World's Shortest Crossover, Part XIV: The Crossover Awakens!), by Kuriamo22 (COMPLETE!): "She could barely think over the pain, the great burning coming from her abdomen where she had been shot. She could barely hear the rush of air escaping from the compartment over the sound of her ears ringing and the blare of the low pressure alarm."

Friday, December 8, 2017

Boxing Gloves and Ugly Sweaters Do NOT Mix!

Stacy's ready to box someone's ears for Take it in the Ear Day, and she seems extra eager, so I'd suggest that Sandi make herself scarce. Just to be clear, I am choosing to assume that the holiday refers to getting punched in the ear because the other possibility is

It's also possible that Stacy is preparing to go after some major fashion criminals because today is National Ugly Christmas Sweater Day, and I'm sure the Fashion Club is not impressed.

Fandom News!

Wednesday, December 6, 2017

"I Think That I Shall Never See...."

Happy birthday to the late poet and library namesake Alfred Joyce Kilmer, who was born on this day in 1886. I'm not entirely sure why the writers went with Kilmer for the library name, although it's possible it has something to do with the lone tree growing on the library property. Any ideas out there?

Today is also the anniversary of Altamont, the free concert that ended in deadly violence. According to Jake, he not only attended the concert but somehow got a refund. I wouldn't mind seeing a fanfic based on Jake's experience at the concert, but perhaps some stories are better left to our imagination.

Fanfic Update!
  • Band of Mothers, by Kristen Bealer (part 1): "Quinn pulled into the driveway and parked. She checked the social media apps on her phone one more time, then eyed the house in front of her warily and wondered if she could come up with a last-minute excuse to bail. God. I'm feeling pissed off and I haven't even laid eyes on Sandi yet. Next time we get together, I'm smuggling in booze."

  • Come Together, by Brother Grimace (parts 1 and 2): "No one saw the small, saucer-shaped craft simply flow into existence, as if it was heated wax that poured from nowhere into an invisible mold set perfectly atop the plateau and became a perfect form in an instant." (Part 2)

  • Dylan, by J-D (part 37a): "The girl in the row in front turned round to look at them. 'Didn't you make the video about the Kris Brocklethwaite story?' she said. 'What', said Dylan. 'Are you talking to us? I don't like the sound of that.'"

  • Harry Potter Morgendorffer, by Meester_Lee (parts 15 and 16): "The fuss about HJ's scar now behind the Morgendorffer family and the remainder of the fall term at J. Frank Dobie Elementary School went by without incident. HJ and Daria applied themselves with connecting letters with sounds, symbols with numbers, and stringing letters together to form words and were soon reading and doing arithmetic at levels well beyond many of their school-mates." (Part 16)

  • How cliche could you get?, by starwater09 (part 5): "'Hey Daria how's your day been?' Alex asked as she approached her friend in a bit of a huff. To Daria Alex looked exhausted but that was to be expected since she did have two tests plus an essay due that very same day."

  • Prometheus/Lingchi, by LongSnakeMoan (part 3): "The shadows from the soft light of the skittered and shifted from the breeze through the window, beeps and the rumble of trucks a distant soundtrack. The precious picture lightly gripped in her left hand, Jane used the right to scratch the fuzz on her head, the bristles oddly reassuring."

  • Unnamed story (LLH - Short Entries), by Roentgen (parts 66 and 67): "Daria had prepared the way ahead of time for Tom's return to Camp Legion. He arrived in Puerto Rico and immediately went to work. She started him on the 'heavy lifting' duties and figured that for the first few days he could work alone under the direction of the SPC and the Corps of Engineers." (Part 67)

Monday, December 4, 2017

Don't Ask What She Put in the Cookies

Daria's baked some supposedly "heart-shaped" cookies for National Cookie Day, but I don't think I'm willing to eat anything given to me by someone smiling that creepily. Seriously, she just needs to not smile like that. Ever.

Speaking of not smiling, the Fashion Club will not be happy to learn that today is also Wear Brown Shoes Day, because no one tells them what shoes to wear. What if brown doesn't go with their outfit? What if the brown shoes have too much heel or not enough? What if they're (gasp) comfortable?!

Fandom News!

Saturday, December 2, 2017

Vive la France! Or At Least the Female Half.

Barch looks less than thrilled that today is the anniversary of Napoleon's coronation as emperor of France in 1804. It could be that she shares a common historical interpretation of the man as a tyrant and a despot, but I think the key word in this is "man." 'Nuff said.

Fanfic Update!
  • Fashionable Reunion (Quinn, Season 2), by WildDogJJ (COMPLETE!): "Quinn, Stacy and Sandi have just discovered that the check out girl is Tiffany. They're all visibly shocked. Quinn: Tiffany!?! What are you doing here? Tiffany: IIIII...wooorrrkkk...heeeerrrrrree."

  • Harry Potter Morgendorffer, by Meester_Lee (part 14): "Six year-old HJ Morgendorffer walked through the doors of J. Frank Dobie Elementary School with his cousin Daria in Ruskin, Texas. School had started, and Aunt Helen and Uncle Jake were counting on him to do well."

  • My Night At Quinn's (Quinn, Season 2), by WildDogJJ (COMPLETE!): "We see a six year old Quinn walking in her pajamas from her room to the master bedroom. Quinn: (Thought VO) I can't sleep. Maybe Mom and Dad can help. She opens the door to the master bedroom and gasps." (Part 2) (Part 3)

  • Night of the Short-Skirted Cynic, by Meester_Lee (part 3): "'I don't think it will convince you, but my phone does have a camera function,' said Daria. 'Let me take your picture.' She picked up her device and held it to her face. She then pressed a button on her device."

  • A.R.C Chapter 10 Imprisoned, by ST91 (parts 2 and 3): "Charles's mood did not improve the next morning. His mother, seeing him so sad, asked him what the problem was but the redhead boy just said, 'nothing important mom.' Only my dreams being shattered." (Part 3)

  • Unnamed story (LLH - Short Entries), by Roentgen (part 65): "'Listen. I'm not desperate. And the Legion is not desperate. But I think that in the long run, he'll be helped more by being with the Legion that he will by being on his own.'"

Thursday, November 30, 2017

A Modest Blog Post

Daria's getting to know the pint-sized versions of the Lawndale folks in honor of the 350th anniversary of Jonathan Swift's birth on this day in 1667. I think Swift's biting satire would have been very appealing to Daria, but I also think the way O'Neill is pointing directly up Daria's skirt is incredibly creepy.

On the subject of birthdays and satire, today is also the anniversary of Mark Twain's birthday in 1835. We know for a fact that Daria's a fan of Twain's, judging by the Mark Twain T-shirt she wears as a nightgown and her comment about Huckleberry Finn being an American classic. She seemed less enthusiastic about Huckleberry Hound, though.

Fandom News!

Tuesday, November 28, 2017

It's Not Easy Being a Fashionista!

The Fashion Club is observing Giving Tuesday, but they're dismayed to learn that they have to give the clothing they've collected away to (gasp!) other people. As far as those girls are concerned, "giving" only refers to other people giving things to them. I fear those orphans will never get the ankle boots they so desperately need.

Fanfic Update!
  • Fashionable Reunion (Quinn, Season 2), by WildDogJJ (parts 1 and 2): "We see Quinn pushing a shopping cart through the aisle. The cart is loaded with an assortment of healthy foods. Quinn: (Thought VO) God, with all the junk food I found in the house it's no wonder Dad got fat and had another heart attack. I swear, if it weren't for me no one would eat healthy." (Part 2)

  • The New J (Quinn, Season 2), by WildDogJJ (COMPLETE!): "Ext. Shot: A strip club, the name of which is being changed from "Pleasure Palace" to "Cafe Risque", afternoon We see a black Lincoln (Jake traded up from the Lexus) pull into the parking lot. We see Quinn exit the car and enter the strip club." (Part 3)

  • Night of the Short-Skirted Cynic, by Meester_Lee (parts 1 and 2): "She wondered later how her life might have gone if she'd turned down Tom Sloane's invitation to go on a cross-country trip to Wisconsin with him and his friend Bart." (Part 2)

  • Prometheus/Lingchi, by LongSnakeMoan (part 2): "The people who'd made this torture had been from a magazine, one of those magazines that released two issues a year for bands full of musicians you'd never heard of, wearing clothes that cost the earth from designers you'd never heard of, making movies you'd never see or want to see."

  • Reflections (formerly Second Chances), by Lady Evil (part 11): "Jane met up with the elderly lady she had seen holding the clipboard at the library. Today, she was dressed up like pictures Jane had seen of Betsy Ross or Martha Washington."

  • Something (Pasta's Never-Ending Ideas Thread 2), by Princess_Pasta (COMPLETE!): "There were few things more comforting than the quiet seclusion of a bathroom stall. Daria Morgendorffer nervously fidgeted with the pen in her hand, desperately wishing she had more to say."

  • Unnamed story (World's Shortest Crossover, Part XIV: The Crossover Awakens!), by Wraith (COMPLETE!): "'You could say that,' Archer said, twirling her finger in her blonde hair. 'It's the first thing I ever owned. A gift from the Lady.'"

  • Unnamed story (LLH - Short Entries), by Roentgen (part 64): "Dr. Todd Lin, Dr. Jacqueline Musial and Dr. Robert Summers awaited the arrival of their very special guest. All of the doctors - a medical doctor, a psychologist and a biochemist - were members of The Elite, although none on the three had their gifts activated."

Sunday, November 26, 2017

Mmm...Cake and Peanuts!

Quinn's ready for National Cake Day, and I still want to know where she got that cake. I have serious doubts that she baked that thing herself, so did she con one (or more) of the three Js to do it for her? I'm picturing Three Stooges-style hijinks here and I'm a little angry that MTV did not air that (hypothetical) scene.

Today is also the 95th anniversary of the birth of Charles M. Schulz, the cartoonist who created the comic strip Peanuts. For a fun Daria/Peanuts crossover, see Petrel/CINCGREEN's fanfics "New Kids in Town" and "New Kids in Town II: 'Batting Practice'."

Fandom News!

Friday, November 24, 2017

"Darwin's the Monkey Guy, Right? I Like Monkeys!"

I have no idea if Joey, Jeffy, and Jamie have any nieces or nephews, but today is All Our Uncles are Monkeys Day so I guess they'll fit the bill.

They should really get over to Cashman's, because today is also Black Friday and Quinn needs someone to carry all of her shopping bags. Unless, of course, she's decided to observe Buy Nothing Day instead.

Okay, I'm done laughing now.

Fanfic Update!
  • An Annoying Paradise, by Resop (part 3): "Jane looks at Daria. 'Something is wrong.' 'Is my posture off?' Jane crosses her arms and then points down the hall of TFAS from their lockers. 'Don't you see?'"

  • Can You Keep A Secret? (My Annual Thanksgiving Fanfic Release - 2017!), by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "'Hey, lady – that's a cool costume.' Stacy Rowe smiled as the young Black girl – she recognized her as Rachel Landon, Jodie's little sister – passed by and complimented her."

  • Fates Entwined, by Deep Metal (part 11): "'How did it go?' asked Ted. 'Miserably,' Daria sat down at the table where the two were convening. 'Jane reacted... in the only way that made sense.'"

  • The Heart of the Matter (Quinn, Season 2), by WildDogJJ (COMPLETE!): "Quinn, Daria and Helen are at the table discussing Jake's care. Helen: I can handle most of the in-home care. I'll just have to cut back my hours at the firm. The real problem is what the two of you can do."

  • The New J (Quinn, Season 2), by WildDogJJ (part 1): "We see Quinn seated at Jake's desk. She is wearing a dark blue business suit. On the desk is a small intercom. Quinn is going through financial statements. Quinn: (Thought VO) I didn't know Happy Herb was one of Dad's clients. It explains the cheesy commercials, though."

  • Prometheus/Lingchi, by LongSnakeMoan (part 1): "'Jane, I'm so sorry. I know I was supposed to back on Thursday but I've had a meeting and there may be more to this site than we thought so I may be in Dubai for another month. I know we were due to go out for dinner that I'll have to postpone again. Unless you want to eat here, I can book you a flight.'"

  • Unnamed story (LLH - Short Entries), by Brother Grimace (part 63): "'We were in Puerto Rico to cover the Canadian government's efforts to get citizens off the island before Maria hit. Not one of my idea assignments – I never cared for weather stories.'"

Wednesday, November 22, 2017

Don't Take Tom up on Any Offers, Though. Just...Don't!

Since today is Go For a Ride Day, perhaps Daria would like to finally reveal just whose car she was getting out of at the end of "The Big House." No? Then I suppose the debate will just have to rage on in fandom for the rest of eternity, I guess.

In other news, this is the anniversary of the posting of the earliest Daria story currently available on paperpusher's "Her, Uh, Cane," posted on this day in 1998. There are just a few more fics up there now, though.

Fandom News!

Monday, November 20, 2017

Maybe It's Just a New Type of Cheer

Even if Brittany wasn't being portrayed in the style of a Picasso painting, she'd be more than absurd enough for Absurdity Day. I can't help noting that, even in cubist form, Brittany is still bursting out of the picture plane.

Fanfic Update!
  • David M., by ST91 (part 3): "'Please Karen, get out of the bathroom!' said a shrill voice. 'No! I'll stay here forever!' said Karen Jones."

  • Harry Potter Morgendorffer, by Meester_Lee (part 13): "It was a weekend conference in Houston. The oil industry bust had hit the regular Texas economy hard, and the savings and loans had been particularly hard-hit, with S&Ls going broke left and right."

  • The Heart of the Matter (Quinn, Season 2), by WildDogJJ (parts 1 and 2): "Quinn is in the office in back seated at a desk. She is working on a chart. From her POV we see that she is scheduling shifts for the next week. Cut to the door and we see one of the boutique employees, Beth, stick her head in. Beth: Quinn, someone wants to talk to you." (Part 2)

  • The Move, by dmsfanman (COMPLETE!): "Daria and Jane watched as the movers left and closed the door behind them. Turning around Daria surveyed her tiny apartment, which was now filled with furniture and other stuff."

  • Runaway Daria : Where No Cynic Had Gone Before, by Waylander (part 3): "Daria was tying shoelaces when Hepzibah entered her cabin. 'Looking forward to see Bosconia, aren't you?'"

  • Sweet & Sour, by BrownEyedBagel (COMPLETE!): "The brick wall beside Anthony 'Bloodshot' DeMartino held him up better than the adrenaline pumping through his body could. He wanted to keep moving. He wanted to live. He wanted to finish the job."

  • Unnamed story (LLH - Short Entries), by Roentgen (part 62): "'One reason I feel that the Legion - and metas, and the prospect of alien life forms, in general - were accepted was because of the circumstances. The circumstances are very important."

Saturday, November 18, 2017

Sorry, Daria, the DNA Test Says Otherwise

It's National Adoption Day, and it's pretty obvious from the expression on Daria's face that she's hoping at least one of them is adopted. Don't worry, Daria; in another ten years you can at least claim cousin status instead.

Today is also National Vichyssoise Day, so head on over to Chez Pierre and watch the phony French waiters try to pronounce it. Remember to send it back if it comes out cold!

The PPMB is down (again) as of this posting, but when it returns you can check out the latest...
Fandom News!

Thursday, November 16, 2017

That Can't Be Good For His Heart Condition, Either!

Mr. DeMartino needs to get with the program, because it's the Great American Smokeout and those cigarettes aren't cheap. Unless Payday has started giving them away as free samples, which honestly wouldn't surprise me.

Today is also National Fast Food Day, so Jake will probably stop off at the Beef 'N Cake for a tasty burger, provided their refrigeration issues have been worked out. Daria and Jane might opt for something safer, like pizza or cheese fries.

Fanfic Update!
  • Edicius, by elainefr (part 4): "'Hey.' 'Hey.' 'Come on in,' Jane moved to the side to allow Daria entry into the Lane home. She hadn't been doing much of anything and was debating within herself on whether or not she should try diving into a painting or going for a run or something."

  • The Heart of the Griffin, by WildDogJJ (COMPLETE!): "Sandi Griffin woke up with a start. She was sitting up in her bed, drenched in a cold sweat."

  • Old Friends (Quinn, Season 2), by WildDogJJ (COMPLETE!): "A panoramic shot of Quinn's high school graduation. Zoom in to show Quinn at the podium with the award she's just received." (Part 2) (Part 3)

  • Scenes in a High School Hallway, by Roentgen (part 1): "Jane and Daria waited at their locker. 'So,' Daria said, 'did Tom catch up with you?' 'He thinks you're mad at him. He said he was going to talk to someone. I don't know who. I just wish I knew who.'"

  • Unnamed story (Iron Chef: The World of Adventures), by Kuriamo22 (COMPLETE!): "In the darkening sky's above the South Pacific Daria was beginning to re evaluate her career as a reporter for The Boston Barnicle. Her editor thought this trip would have been a nice working vacation for her."

  • Unnamed story (Iron Chef: The World of Adventures), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "The riverboat pulled up along the bank. 'Look Daria,' Jake said. 'The point is, the first day of a new school is bound to be difficult.'"

  • Unnamed story (LLH - Short Entries), by Roentgen (part 61): "'People ask why I wasn't there. I'll tell you why. The President. I had expected to be deployed some way by USAES.'"

Tuesday, November 14, 2017

Once Upon a Slumber Party....

Daria's gotten into the spirit of Young Readers Day, but I'm not sure if the other girls feel the same way. It could be Daria's melodious reading voice or it could be the subject matter, but either way this is clearly not the evening those kids had in mind.

Today is also World Diabetes Day, so be sure to keep Jane's warning in mind:

Mr. O'Neill - You know what they say, a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down.

Jane - Not if you're diabetic.

Fandom News!

Sunday, November 12, 2017

You Can Still Have an Extra Quart of Grease, Though!

Don't ask me how Daria and Tom can possibly look so sad when they've got pizza on National Pizza With Everything (Except Anchovies) Day. Maybe they just really, really like anchovies? And here Daria thought they didn't have enough in common. Shows how much she knows.

Today is also the anniversary of artist Auguste Rodin's birth in 1840. Rodin is probably best known for his sculpture The Thinker. He is slightly less well known as the sculptor of Steve Taylor's lawn jockey statue.

Fanfic Update!
  • Daria of Asgard, by Meester_Lee (part 6): "Phil Coulson thought about his next move. His agents had already formed a cordon around the perimeter of the event, whatever it was, and SHIELD scientists and technicians were now beginning to their examination of the event site to see just what the Hell had happened."

  • Drive Safely (Daria and the Gang Thread II), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "After resolving the issue of having her best friend in a jail cell (with her sister shadowing her to boot), Daria was glad to get the fuck out of Dodge and drive back home."

  • The Heart of the Griffin, by WildDogJJ (parts 7 - 9): "Sandi Griffin was jumpy and on edge. After hearing the tapes of her mother and John Mangano having an affair and plotting her own murder she was livid. It was the ultimate betrayal." (Part 8) (Part 9)

  • The Move, by dmsfanman (part 4): "'Am I getting too old for this?' Daria asked. Tom responded, 'Too old for what?' 'Sugar Tarts for breakfast,' Daria replied in total deadpan while looking at the frosted toaster pastries sitting in front of her."

  • Tales of Lawndale: Daria and The Demon, by Eduard Tubin (part 1): "'What are you?' Jane Lane turned on her bedroom light and saw a small boy watching her television. 'What are you doing here?'"

  • Unnamed story (LLH - Short Entries), by Roentgen and Brother Grimace (parts 58 - 60): "'I landed in Puerto Rico that morning on a private plane provided by Dawn Hall. Kyle Armalin had gotten in touch with Dawn Hall - how he did that, I'll never understand - and demanded that the Legion have a PR representative in Puerto Rico.'" (Part 59) (Part 60 by Brother Grimace)

Friday, November 10, 2017

W is for WTF?

Daria's freaking everyone out for Sesame Street's anniversary. The beloved (aside from Elmo, who can get lost for all I care) children's show premiered on this day in 1969, and for an excellent Daria-themed tribute see Mike Xeno's "D is for Daria." It's a little bizarre, like any good fanfic should be, but also surprisingly touching.

Fandom News!

Wednesday, November 8, 2017

A Good Day to Order Pizza!

Jake's Kitchen Sink Stew should cover both points for Cook Something Bold and Pungent Day, but whether or not anyone will be willing to eat it is up for debate. I think even easy-going mooch Trent might hesitate on this one.

Today is also the anniversary of Hermann Rorschach's birth in 1884. I think we should all celebrate by looking at pictures of a herd of beautiful wild ponies running free across the plains.

Fanfic Update!
  • David M., by ST91 (part 1): "When David arrived in the classroom he saw that all the seats were taken except one in the front row. While he was going to sit, David felt all the eyes on him."

  • The Heart of the Griffin, by WildDogJJ (parts 4 - 6): "John Mangano and his consiglieri, Dominic Valentino, were meeting at the office of their attorney, Eric Schrecter. They were going over the Ultra-Cola case and the possibility that it could lead to federal indictments." (Part 5) (Part 6)

  • Reflections, by Lady Evil (part 1): "Sunday morning, Jane walked by Trent's room to hear him talking on the phone. Once she got over her initial shock of finding her brother awake on a Sunday morning, she listened."

  • Unnamed story (LLH - Short Entries), by Roentgen (part 57): "Mack returned to the barracks at Tolnai. There was nothing, nothing he looked forward to more than a nice hot shower, something that would wash the grime off of him, not just physically but mentally."

Monday, November 6, 2017

This Is "Nacho" Usual Holiday

It's Beavis and Butt-head's favorite holiday, National Nachos Day! Daria's probably telling them to celebrate someplace else, or she might be trying to explain to them that it's traditional to celebrate by obtaining and eating nachos. Either way, I'm guessing it's a lost cause.

Fandom News!

Saturday, November 4, 2017

Mmm, Ancient Egyptian Candy!

Jake's enjoying a nice cereal treat for King Tut Day, but I don't think we'll ever know for sure if King Tut was buried without his diver or his liver. I hope you can live with the suspense.

If that sugary cereal isn't sweet enough for you, this is also National Candy Day. Help yourself to some ZooZoo Drops, Juicy Joes, or--best of all--unauthorized chocolate. Bwa-ha-ha-ha!

Fanfic Update!
  • Fair is Fair and Hunted (Two of Hearts (one-shot)), by Princess_Pasta (snippets): "If the drive over wasn't excruciating enough, Lawndale High's own version of Medieval Times was the nail in the coffin. Damien observed the scene before him as one would animals at the zoo; the only thing missing was his camera."

  • The Heart of the Griffin, by WildDogJJ (parts 1 - 3): "Sandi Griffin was very upset. As she lay in her bed and stared at the ceiling fantasies of killing her mother swirled in her head. She'd been having a nice summer until Linda once again decided to piss on her parade." (Part 2) (Part 3)

  • The Move, by dmsfanman (part 3): "Tom and Daria stood in the middle of an empty studio apartment. Daria commented, 'Good God what is that smell?'"

  • They knew why, by tjdolf (COMPLETE!): "When someone kills themselves, it really makes you think. The suicide note only said 'You know why', but that was enough."

  • Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Justify My Love), by Smijey (COMPLETE!): "Helen loomed behind Daria as her eldest squinted into the mirror and did the barest minimum she could do to qualify as 'primping up'. Quinn would have dropped dead in shock at seeing her sister put on any makeup at all."

  • Unnamed story (Iron Chef: The New Canon), by LongSnakeMoan (COMPLETE!): "'Jane, I'm so sorry. I know I was supposed to back on Thursday but I've had a meeting and there may be more to this site than we thought so I may be in Dubai for another month. I know we were due to go out for dinner that I'll have to postpone again. Unless you want to eat here, I can book you a flight.'"

  • Unnamed story (LLH - Short Entries), by Roentgen (part 56): "I think the most depressed I ever was in Puerto Rico was when I realized how long we were going to be there."

  • Unnamed story (World's Shortest Crossover, Part XIV: The Crossover Awakens!), by Wraith (COMPLETE!): "Tad and Tricia sat quietly for several moments after watching the Star Compass disappear over the falls. Tricia, embarrased from dropping it, said queitly, 'It's fine... it's fine... There is an old saying. Everything taken from the Abyss will eventually return there, be it an object or a life.'"

Thursday, November 2, 2017

I Think Quinn Pushed Her Sister Too Far This Time!

Daria's giving everyone fair warning for Plan Your Epitaph Day, but I'd hurry. She seems pretty eager with that shovel.

Besides, death is the theme of the day since it's also All Souls' Day, a day to remember the dead. Considering that's Quinn's name on the gravestone, I don't think that'll be a problem. The most popular girl at Lawndale High is unlikely to be forgotten any time soon, right?

Fandom News!

Tuesday, October 31, 2017


Today is not just Halloween but also Carve a Pumpkin Day, although it seems like maybe you should have done that at least a day or two before Halloween. Perhaps this is a holiday for procrastinators and lazy people? Trent, they're playing your song.

If you want to get into the Halloween spirit the Daria way, check out this list of Halloween-themed fanfics. The list hasn't been updated lately, so please feel free to share any recent favorites in the comments!

Fanfic Update!
  • How cliche could you get?, by starwater09 (part 4): "It was a warm, quiet and peaceful morning. The kind of morning where you just wanted to lay in bed all day without worrying about a care in the world. And since the morning was also a Saturday nothing was going to stop Daria from enjoying this wonderful peace."

  • The Move, by dmsfanman (part 2): "Tom and Daria walked through Penn Station pulling their bags behind them. It was like walking through a beehive there was so much activity."

  • Quinn, Episode 13: Farewell, Lawndale High, by WildDogJJ (COMPLETE!): "Quinn, Jake, Helen, Daria and Jane are eating dinner. The meal is salad and cold vegetable sticks. Jane: Thanks for letting me stay here while I'm in town. Helen: Jane, it's the least we could do." (Part 2) (Part 3)

  • 2nd February (Iron Chef: Brittany & Daria Swap), by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 1): "Daria Morgendorffer awoke. It seemed that it was the radio that woke her... with a song by Sonny and Cher. 'Something about this is familiar.'"

  • Ted Dance Party (The Ted Zone), by Kristen Bealer (COMPLETE!): "'...So, who can tell me where the Barbary Wars were fought?' DeMartino asked a class that was mostly half-asleep. 'Stacy!' Stacy's head jerked up, eyes wide. 'Uh...the Malibu Dream House?'"

  • Unnamed story (LLH - Short Entries), by Roentgen (part 55): "@jacairac Saw Quinn Morgendorffer fly by me. Not with an airplane! Levitating! Here in PR! #nlc1 #puertorico - Jacaira C. Maranda (believed to be first social media ever about Legionnaires openly using powers)"

Sunday, October 29, 2017

Jake's Feline Brave Today

Jake's in for a rough time for National Cat Day, because I don't think Mr. Whiskers is in the mood for his shenanigans. Really, is anyone ever in the mood for Jake's shenanigans?

In fact, for all we know, Mr. Whiskers is trying to celebrate Hermit Day and (like Daria) would far prefer to be left alone. Come to think of it, that's pretty much every cat, every day.

Fandom News!

Friday, October 27, 2017

She's Aliiiiiive!

Jane's going with a new look for Frankenstein Friday, and at least this one she can't blame on Daria. I guess she seems happy with it, so who am I to argue with her?

Kevin's probably thrilled to know that today is also American Beer Day, but I know a few beer snobs that won't be interested. Just remember, Kevin, don't crush the can on your forehead unless it's empty!

Fanfic Update!
  • Black Cloaks of Lawndale, by Waylander (part 31): "Monique was stretched out on her old sofa, reading the book and drinking a cup of coffee. She wasn't sure why she was assigned an essay about The Movement."

  • Quinn, Episode 12: There Can Be Only One, by WildDogJJ (COMPLETE!): "Quinn and Kevin are having their latest tutoring session. The subject is the Vietnam War. Quinn: So, can you tell me some of the reasons we became involved in the war in Vietnam. Kevin: Um, It had something to do with that guy, the one who was President after World War II..." (Part 2) (Part 3)

  • Unnamed story (LLH - Short Entries), by Roentgen (part 54): "'When I looked out the window as we were landing at Tolnai, in Puerto Rico, I didn't see any leaves on the trees. The grass was still green but the trees were bare. That was when my heart sank and I knew we were in for it.' -- Stacy Rowe"

  • Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria fanfic should have: 600 Years Afterward.....), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "Helen's voice rang through the cavernous Morgendorffer living room. 'Daria! Sandi's at the front door!'"

Wednesday, October 25, 2017

Ewww, Greasy Punks

Kevin's looking...unusual...for Punk for a Day Day. I can't quite put my finger on it, but he definitely looks different. Maybe it's the new shoulder pads.

Today is also National Greasy Foods Day, so it's basically open season on junk food for Daria and Jane. Cheese fries, extra-greasy pizza, a burger squishing around your toes; go have whatever strikes your fancy!

Fandom News!

Monday, October 23, 2017

Now THAT'S Mental in the Morning!

Daria and Jane are wishing everyone an unnaturally cheerful good morning to everyone on TV Talk Show Host Day. Seriously, what's going on with Jane's grin? I think it's trying to eat my soul.

On this day 15 years ago, the Fashion Club made a cameo appearance in the online comic strip Mall Monkeys! I'm sure they were horrified to be included in something as (ugh) geeky as a web comic.

Fanfic Update!
  • Black Cloaks of Lawndale, by Waylander (part 30): "KA-BOOM! Quinn wrinkled her nose at the memory of her sister practicing Earth magic in the backyard. Daria was shattering the rocks and making them explode."

  • Dammit Daria, by SexshiTiTePaNtZ (part 9): "A stained mattress, a lamp without a shade, a pair of tarnished silver candlesticks, chunks of candle wax melted down the sides of each stick and stuck to the surface of a beat-up dresser."

  • Fates Entwined, by Deep Metal (part 10): "'Hey guys,' Daria said as she met up with Karen and Ted at practice. 'Hey Daria,' Karen waved. Today, the women's self-defense class only seemed to consist of Daria, Karen, and Ted, thanks in part to that day being a rather rainy and dreary day."

  • The Morgendorffer's Shadow, by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "There was a small conference room on the third floor of Legion Tower that everyone had taken to calling 'The Box'."

  • The Move, by dmsfanman (part 1): "It wasn't often that Daria had a headache, but now was one of those times. She was seriously thinking of taking something for it."

  • Quinn, Episode 10: Sisters Gone Wild, by WildDogJJ (COMPLETE!): "We see Stacy, Quinn, Daria and Jane sunbathing on the beach. Stacy is wearing a blue strap bikini while Quinn is in a pink string bikini and Daria is in a leopard print string bikini. Jane is in a red strap bikini that has a push up top for the purpose of making certain...features appear bigger. The sight is one of Upchucks dreams come true." (Part 3)

  • Quinn, Episode 11: Acceptance, by WildDogJJ (COMPLETE!): "We see Quinn, Stacy and Tiffany having lunch at their usual table. Sandi is still not on good terms with them. Stacy looks happy. Stacy: I got back my college acceptance letters today. I was accepted at both State U and Lawndale State. Quinn: Stacy, that's great." (Part 2) (Part 3)

  • Unnamed story (LLH - Short Entries), by Roentgen (part 53): "'I don't understand this,' Helen said. 'I don't even know why you're telling me this. For God's sake, Daria – what are you doing?'"