Happy BIRTHday, Mr. WALKen!

Mr. DeMartino wants to wish Christopher Walken a happy birthday, particularly because the character is supposedly based on Walken. I don't think I've ever seen Christopher Walken reach those DeMartino-levels of rage, but then again he's never met Kevin Thompson.

Today is also the anniversary of the episodes "Malled" and "The F Word," which aired on this day in 1997 and 2000. Both featured teacher-accompanied mall shopping for Quinn, but otherwise there isn't a whole lot of common ground between them.

Fandom News!

• What do you think of Blizzard releasing a remastered version of Starcraft?


• Discuss the return of Iron Chef.


• The list of 2017 Daria finished fanfiction has been posted.

This Holiday Really Belongs to Ruttheimer the Prestidigitator

Although it's Smoke and Mirrors Day, I don't think a seance in the girls' restroom is quite the intended method of observing the holiday. Then again, there's smoke and there's mirrors. I guess I can't fault the logic there.

If frozen bread and cellophane wrappers are more your speed, you can celebrate National Mom and Pop Business Owners Day with Earl and Barbara! Enjoy a two-dollar cookie and some echolalia--echolalia--while you're at it.

Finally, we wish a happy anniversary to Ted Dewitt-Clinton, who appeared for the first time on this day in 1998 in the episode "The New Kid." We didn't see much of him after that episode, but he still had an impact in fandom.

Fanfic Update!

• The Date, by elainefr (part 5): "'What's say we go out for a celebratory pizza and you stay over. I passed my test with flying colors, thank you for your help.' Jane suggested to Daria while Daria exchanged books at her locker between classes."


• From Both Sides, by mailorderannie (part 11): "The Justice of the Peace glared at the intruder. 'Young man, this is not an appropriate time to bring objections to this union! In granting a license, the state has affirmed that there is no legal bar to this marriage. If you had any other objection, you should have brought it up to the bride and groom well before this time.'"


• High School Never Ends, by CaffeineAddict94 (part 2): "'There's no way that this is decaf'. 'Well, er, no. It's, um, half-caf'. 'Stacy, you know what caffeine does to my face'."


• The Lost Girl, by Hammyham (COMPLETE!): "'Goddamnit Helen, where will my golf clubs go now Daria's home?' I put down my suitcase on the bed I vacated seven years ago and sighed."


• Someone had to do it, by Rémi (part 8): "The family was sitting around the kitchen table, sharing a meal of microwaved lasagna while Quinn babbled about the nose job of some girl at school."


• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria fanfic should have: 600 Years Afterward), by Silver (COMPLETE!): "She's thin, in an almost unhealthy way. Frail, perhaps. Quinn's mind speaks these thoughts to her, fingers feather light as they trace over the outline of a bruise on her bedmate's arm."

Hey, Joe! What Do You Know?

Joey looks a little confused that today is National "Joe" Day, and I can kind of see his point. If anyone should have a special holiday in honor of his name, it's Jamie. Then maybe people will start remembering who he is.

Today is also Quirky Country Music Song Titles Day, so Travis the Singing Cowboy should probably get on that. Then again, he'll probably just steal someone else's idea, since as far as I can tell the man has no original thoughts of his own. Can you come up with a good one? Bonus points for Mystik Spiral-style lyrics to go with it.

Fandom News!

• ognawk and Princess_Pasta have recorded a new Lawndale Lowdown Podcast!


• ST91 has a question about Helen and Jake's salaries.

Hold Me Closer, Waffle Eater!

Helen wishes a happy birthday to Sir Elton John, who turns 70 today. Either that or Helen got into some very strange fashion choices during her commune days.

Today is also Waffle Day, but if you decide to indulge then make sure you check the sell-by date first. The last thing you want to do is eat a bunch of poisoned waffles and develop a very mild stomachache.

Fanfic Update!

• The Date, by elainefr (part 4): "'Okay……what the heck was that about back there?' Jane asked Trent after a moment in the car. Trent drove staring straight ahead."


• From Both Sides, by mailorderannie (parts 9 and 10): "'Oh, God! Yes!' Daria growled out as her nearly naked body shifted back and forth across the bed." (Part 10)


• Second Chances, by Lady Evil (part 4): "'In conclusion, Your Honor,' Helen told the judge. 'Not only is Mrs. Talbot guilty of illegal search and seizure but my client, Mr. Moreno, was only doing what was decent and humane. Did he behave rashly when Mrs. Talbot paid an unannounced visit? Perhaps. Did he endanger the welfare of a minor in his care? Absolutely not. If anything, Mr. Moreno was demonstrating some old fashioned chivalry and good manners that young Daniel may choose to emulate.'"


• Unnamed story (All-Purpose Creative Writing Thread: Six), by EntrancedCat (COMPLETE!): "(doorbell at Schloss Morgendorffer) Jake - Who could that be? (Jake goes to the door) Jake - Quinn, your date is here! (opens door, sees Monique) Wow, I really don't know my kids!"

My Puppies are Cute! My Puppies are Tiny!

It's National Puppy Day, Quinn's favorite holiday unless her time working at the pet store soured her on cute animals for good. Really, though, who could resist an adorable pile of puppies? I'll tell you who: mass serial puppy killers.

This is also National Chip and Dip Day, so enjoy a tasty treat today! Just make sure the chips don't fight the dip. Whatever the hell that means.

Last but not least, today is the anniversary of the episode "Monster," which aired on this day in 1998. It's hard to say if Daria made the right choice in softening the video of Quinn before submitting it, but one thing's for sure: "I do not have pores! My pores are cute! My pores are tiny! You're fired!" is one of the all-time greatest Daria lines ever.

Fandom News!

• Keep up with the news on the recent London attack.


• Read and discuss an article about why 'skeletons' are dragged out when women run for office.


• What do you think about the changes in the return of the TV series Archer?

Maybe Ted's Parents Could Give Helen Some Pointers

Either Helen is getting back in touch with her hippie roots or she's decide to go all out in observing National Agriculture Day. Really, the honor should go to Trent, who was voted most likely to become one of those farmers who are paid not to grow crops.

Today is also Credit Card Reduction Day, but good luck convincing Quinn to get on board with that one. However, Jane will be glad to know that it's also World Puppetry Day, because puppets make anything--except radio DJs--funny.

Fanfic Update!

• Breakfast at Tiffany's (Iron Chef: Breakfast at Tiffany's), by Cap (COMPLETE!): "Jamie rolled from bed stepping into a patch of sunlight peeking through the curtains. He admired his nude reflection in the full length mirror rewarding it with a wink as he worked out the morning kinks."


• Cops And Robbers And Magic, by psychotol (part 14): "Kira watched attentively as Carrie assembled the parts according to the animated diagrams on her tablet computer (working offline for now). She finally satisfied herself that all the subassemblies were ready and picked up the crystal."


• Daria Ravenclaw: The Highland Years, by Meester_Lee (parts 13 and 14): "At lunch, Farrah waved Daria over. 'Hey, Daria,' she said. 'My grandfather has extra tickets for the Howard County Livestock Show and Rodeo. Want to come?'" (Part 14)


• Daria Takes Charge, by dmsfanman (part 12): "At the airport Daria made her way through security. It was the usual humiliation of pulling half the stuff out of her carry on, taking off her shoes and standing in the 'strip search machine.'"


• The Date, by elainefr (part 3): "He looked at her sitting on the couch adjacent to him, while Jane was draped across the chair. Sick Sad World – The Very Best of...... was on the tube, but he hadn't so much as looked at the screen."


• Fear and Loathing at Lawndale High, by Two-Eyed Charlie (part 4): "Bad vibes from the people of Lawndale...my presence is an insult to them, I can tell from their movements."


• From Both Sides, by mailorderannie (part 8): "An hour and a half had brought no change to the apartment. Daria still sat, her position unchanged. Jane had an arm thrown around her friend."


• Harry Potter Morgendorffer, by Meester_Lee (parts 2 and 3): "Molly Weasley had been crushed by the news about the Potters. Nevertheless, that Prewett part of her that allowed her to survive the devastation of her own family was still strong enough to agree to take Harry in for a few days." (Part 3)

Put the Poem Down, Quinn, I Said POULTRY!

Joey's looking unusually happy for Poultry Day, especially considering he appears to have just laid three eggs. (Ow.) Then again, maybe he just heard Quinn say she'd like to have some chicken for dinner. He's in for an unpleasant surprise.

Today we also celebrate the anniversary of the episode "The Story of D," which aired on this day in 2001. Daria wasn't sure if she was ready to submit her story to Musings, but in the end she didn't chicken out.

Get it?

Sorry. Won't happen again.

Fandom News!

• peapotmaster shares the return of the Disney afternoon....sort of.


• Captain Marbles suggests you vote if you want to see Daria's get huge.

Does This Pot of Gold Make Me Look Faaaat?

Tiffany is dancing a surprisingly lively jig for Saint Patrick's Day, and I'm a little curious to know if she has the congenital green beer-flavored breath. If so, that might explain why she doesn't talk much.

Today is also a triple anniversary for the episodes "College Bored," "Daria Dance Party," and "Murder, She Snored," which all aired on this day in 1997, 1999, and 2000. We had beer on the first one, dancing in the second, and yet another very surreal experience in the third. Fitting all around for Saint Patrick's Day episodes!

Fanfic Update!

• Chaos Theory (Pasta's Never-ending Ideas Thread!), by Princess_Pasta (part 1): "'We can fix this'. 'I don't think that we can'. 'What?' 'Daria, we can't just pretend that none of this ever happened because it did. And...I've been giving it a lot of thought and I think that it would be best if we didn't talk for awhile'."


• Cops And Robbers And Magic, by psychotol (part 13): "'Yeah, that's the correct address, thanks,' said Carrie before she hung up the pay phone (those still existed, but in an ever shrinking number)."


• From Both Sides, by mailorderannie (parts 6 and 7): "'I'm going to have it.' Daria and Jane sat together in Daria's room at the Morgendorffer residence. Daria had been surprised that Helen hadn't remodeled it since she had left for college." (Part 7)


• The Great War of the Dale, by Wassersauefer (part 2): "Usually Jodie Landon, oldest daughter of Andrew and Michele Landon, sister of Evan and Rachel Landon, skilled negotiator and businesswoman, was completely in control of her state of mind and emotions, never letting anyone getting one over her."


• Harry Potter Morgendorffer, by Meester_Lee (part 1): "The owls were still flying by daylight throughout the British Isles, fireworks were still exploding by night, and people from Britain's wizarding world were so overcome by joy that they were still dancing in the streets where they could be seen by Muggles, but not in this part of Surrey."


• High School Never Ends, by CaffeineAddict94 (part 1): "Trent Lane thought that Monday mornings should've been illegal. He reflected on how nice it would be to have an extended weekend while he scrapped himself out of his computer chair."


• A.R.C Chapter 8 Sighted by a condor, by ST91 (COMPLETE!): "'Well that was weird...' said Daria after she and Charles had left the incriminated classroom. 'Yeah.' said Charles trying to to curb the anger caused by the interruption."

Et Tu, Police?

I'm sure Upchuck would like to remind everyone that today is International Day Against Police Brutality, but I think too many female residents of Lawndale have been at the receiving end of his...ahem...charm to care. Jane, on the other hand, will be on hand with a camera to record police brutality against Mystik Spiral. If it ever actually occurs, anyway.

Today is also the Ides of March, which Roman emperors should beware and high school language arts teachers should avoid asking Kevin about.

Finally, it was on this day in 1998 that Michelle Klein-Hass posted her essay From Now On, Please Keep It Real! Whether you agree with the point or not, it's an interesting perspective of the show from back when it was still originally airing.

Fandom News!

• Szcz is looking for sites related to the history of U. S. fashion.


• Read and discuss the article about the Christian retreat from public life.


• What are your thoughts on the upcoming Ghost In The Shell live action movie?


• Wouter is asking for some help.

I Know Where Sandi Would Like to Shove Those Ear Muffs

Quinn's modeling her pink ostrich feather ear muffs in honor of Ear Muffs Day, and who cares that her obsessive accessorizing has doomed her classmates to starvation? When you look this good, certain death is just a minor detail.

Also on this day in 1781, the planet Uranus was discovered. I'm sure the astronomers who named it would be proud to know just how much laughter they were able to provide future generations, particularly Beavis and Butt-Head.

Fanfic Update!

• The Choice, by elainefr (part 1): "Daria looked into the room where Trent and Tom both were. Look at them, they're both so......tempting. It's not fair, why should I have to choose?"


• Cops And Robbers And Magic, by psychotol (part 12): "The mercs woke up when they felt a warm fluid splashing on their face. They recoiled in disgust when they caught the smell of the fluid and woke up to see Carrie minus her trousers and panties still urinating on them."


• For the Tom fansSort of, by elainefr (COMPLETE!): "The couple kissed softly at first. Of course the more that they did this, the more that it led to……hands finding places that caused the early sounds signaling their awakening of arousal."


• From Both Sides, by mailorderannie (part 5): "Daria sat, bemused, for a few moments. 'Well, I won't have to worry about pizza money for a while.' Her trademark smirk was in evidence."


• Second Chances, by Lady Evil (part 3): "It had only been a 24 hour bug and Jane was eager to get back to the easel. She found herself painting images of the fever dream she had at Jesse's house. No way could she publicly display this painting without paying the Disney Corporation through the nose for using their characters."


• Ted Takes a Holiday (The Ted Zone), by Kristen Bealer (COMPLETE!): "Oof! Watch where you're going, would you?" An angry voice with an Irish accent made Ted stop walking and look around, but soon saw that he wasn't the one being yelled at. A small man in green clothes was crawling out of a dumpster behind the Good Time Chinese Restaurant, followed closely by a large man in a diaper."

An Apple a Day Keeps the QB Away!

Kevin's cheerfully planting apple trees for Johnny Appleseed Day, or at least he thinks he is. I'm not entirely certain he could tell an apple seed from a pebble, so who knows what he's really doing right now. Still, it keeps him out of trouble and away from Mr. DeMartino, so let the boy have his fun.

Fandom News!

• Talk about the ongoing fires in Kansas and Oklahoma.


• Discuss the latest news about CIA hacking tools.


• Roentgen shares an article and points out the implications for Daria and school.

This is How Quinn Would Look if Dr. Shar Got Her Way

Quinn's feeling extra artificial today for the anniversary of Barbie's launch on this day in 1959. For an even more disturbing crossover with Barbie, see peetz5050's awesome-yet-terrifying Daria Barbie.

Don't get too freaked out...but then again, it's Panic Day, so go nuts if you want. I think Quinn might panic a little herself if someone doesn't open up that package pretty soon so she can get some air.

Today is also the anniversary of the episode "I Don't," which aired on this day in 1998. Aside from introducing us to fan-favorite characters Luhrmann and Aunt Amy, this is a rare episode where Jake--of all people--comes out on top.

Fanfic Update!

• Cops And Robbers And Magic, by psychotol (part 11): "'Carrie a cop killer?' asked Matilda, 'that's not going to help her run for presidency is it? Successful candidates tend to be law and order candidates, sometimes to a fault.'"


• From Both Sides, by mailorderannie (part 4): "Daria gritted her teeth as Quinn and Jane crowded into the back of her mother's SUV. 'Why do I have to buckle up?' she muttered. 'I won't be able to move, even if I want to, and the shoulder belt is way too tight.'"


• The Gonzo Papers, by Two-Eyed Charlie (part 3): "Holy Jesus! I thought I'd be pissing into the beehive when I started this Cavalry charge of mine, but no amount of ibogaine in existence could cause a hallucination demented enough to match what was outside my hotel door this morning. I'm lucky to be alive! Hell, I'm lucky to be sane!"


• The Life of the Mind (Daria and the Gang Thread II), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "One section of Daria's brain was marked LIBIDO. It was a run-down section, and rumor among the Monads had it that the section would never be up and running."


• On The Road, by elainefr (part 38): "'Quinn...... hey, what are you doing here?' Helen was surprised at her daughter's appearance at her office. 'Can't a daughter visit her mom?'"


• There and Back Again, by shanejayell (COMPLETE!): "The luggage opened up with a hiss of a zipper, the lid flopping back with a thump."

This is Cereal Business

Jake is enjoying National Cereal Day, and I'm sure Quinn's going to have a bowl of Model Crunch as well. Daria, meanwhile, is likely to choose either sugar tarts or leftover pizza. Because that's the true breakfast of champions!

Fandom News!

• Roentgen wonders, who is "Christy"?


• Gene shared a new video of Daria on YouTube.


• Remember when Adult Swim was good? Join the discussion.


• Share your thoughts about Top Gear vs The Grand Tour.


• Kem and Princess_Pasta have new 2017 art threads in The Easel.

"Isn't one of you enough?"

Quinn's taking Multiple Personality Day just a little too far, but you can celebrate by getting in touch with the Eunice inside. You might want to give her a hug if she's feeling particularly sad today.

Today is also the anniversary of the episode "Fat Like Me," which aired on this day in 2001. That episode showed us that Quinn and Sandi can actually be kind of sweet together when they want to be. It also taught us a whole lot of synonyms for money.

Fanfic Update!

• The Appointment, by elainefr (part 7): "'Okay, I'm here. Now what was so damn important that it couldn't wait until next weekend or something?' Daria asked of her best friend, mother, and father that were sitting in the Morgendorffer kitchen waiting for her."


• Cops And Robbers And Magic, by psychotol (part 10): "Carrie drove as Kira handled the YouTube comments on their latest video. They were following 245th avenue approaching West Bullhead Road when a cop car appeared behind them, lights going, siren whooping a couple of times, the driver pointing to the right."


• Filters, by tafka (part 1): "'Mom, I think you need to have a look at this.' 'What is it Quinn?' 'I found it on a website. I was talking about Daria in the fashion forums and someone gave me this link.'"


• From Both Sides, by mailorderannie (parts 2 and 3): "'No, mom, I am not going to be able to make it down to the memorial service.' 'Because, mom. Since they've grounded all air traffic, the trains are packed, and Jane can't get time off to drive me down.'" (Part 3)


• The Gonzo Papers, by Two-Eyed Charlie (part 2): "Having purged the cess-pool that was and still is Lawndale High from my brain several years ago, I needed a powerful enough jolt to pull my mind back there, away from the war and the economy—the kind of jolt that only comes from some catastrophic fuck-up clearly visible to distant galaxies."


• Mystikal Holiday Tour, by EntrancedCat (COMPLETE!): "The Holidays came to the last verse of the last song of their last set and Guy Fawkes Day brought his guitar down hard on the stage shattering it as the assembled lesser holidays cheered from the floor of Holiday Island High's gym."


• Telling Tales Out of School, by Kristen Bealer (COMPLETE!): "'Good afternoon,' Sandi greeted him pleasantly after opening the door to let him in. 'Thank you for coming.' David double-checked the address on his list. This is the right place, and that looks like Sandi, but...."


• Tom Sloane and the Diabolical Duo!, by Captain Marbles (COMPLETE!): "Tom Sloane was on his way back from a snack run at the local Food Lord when he decided to turn on the radio. Might as well listen to some tunes, he thought as he pressed the radio's power button."

A Double Holiday and a Triple Anniversary!

Theresa's about to lose her temper with the Fashion Club, but someone should remind her that today is both Employee Appreciation Day and National Salesperson Day, so that makes all of the aggravation worthwhile. Really.

Today is also the anniversary of the episodes "Esteemsters," "The Old and the Beautiful," and "Antisocial Climbers," which aired on this day in 1997, 1999, and 2000. That means, of course, that today is also the twentieth anniversary of Daria itself. Woot!

Fandom News!

• RLobinske shared a Sick, Sad World-relevant article: How much pee is in that pool?


• Ranma is looking for recommendations for a Bluetooth to FM transmitter.


• Share your examples of politicians doing the right thing.


• Read and talk about two articles about Daria, 20 years on.


• Is it time for a major reform of the Oscars? Join the discussion.

The Birth of Jake

Jake's doing a slightly disturbing recreation of The Birth of Venus in honor of the birth of Sandro Botticelli on this day in 1445. I'm no expert on art, but I think the boxer shorts kind of ruin the effect. On the other hand, Daria and Quinn would much prefer he keep them on.

Less known to fandom, aside from those brave and/or sadistic fans who played the game, is that Jane also made an appearance as Venus in Daria's Inferno. Fully clothed, in case you're curious.

Fanfic Update!

• The Appointment, by elainefr (part 6): "'Hello?' 'Hey Daria......it's Trent.' Momentary silence; she'd seen the Lane name come up and had assumed that it was Jane since she had went home for the weekend- again."


• Calls the Tune (Daria and the Gang Thread II), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "'Are you done?' Jane asked. 'Coming,' Daria said. She dodged from behind the tombstone and made her presence known."


• Consequences, by Zetor (COMPLETE!): "Brittany tried to focus on the worn romance novel in her hands, but just found herself reading the same sentence over and over again. With a sigh, she got up off her bed and replaced the book on the shelf."


• From Both Sides, by mailorderannie (part 1): "The knock on the apartment door caused Daria to grumble as she rolled out of bed. 'Tuesdays are for sleeping in until noon!' she muttered as she threw on a robe."


• The Gonzo Papers, by Two-Eyed Charlie (parts 1a and 1b): "'Thanks for coming in, Ms. Morgendorffer.' 'Thanks for giving me the hope of a constant paycheck and more than half a meal a day.'" (Part 1b)


• The Great War of the Dale, by Wassersauefer (part 1): "A lot of things could be said about Jojaje. First of all, Jojaje was of course not the real name for this individual... um, creature. Yes, creature was perhaps the best way of describing him. Them. It was confusing sometimes."


• Someone had to do it, by Rémi (parts 6 and 7): "This was an uneventful night. Daria and Jane were sharing a pizza at Pizza King : it had quickly became an habit for both of them. - So, what about those rumors ? asked Jane between two bites." (Part 7)


• Telling Tales Out of School, by Kristen Bealer (part 2): "The next stop was a girl David had tutored unsuccessfully the previous summer: Stacy Rowe. He remembered her as willing to learn but unable to get past her debilitating panic attacks over...well, everything. He rang the doorbell and waited."


• top baller, by rvgonzal (part 3): "Casa lane/ Janes massive loft suite. Janes artwork is displayed throughout the walls of suite along with many of her sculptures decorating the rooms. The rooms are beautifully painted with warm brown colors and plush carpeting."