Monday, March 30, 2015

"Ooh-la-la! Doctor, I have a pain."

It's National Doctor's Day, so this might be a good time to get that weird rash looked at. Just don't ask about Mrs. Sullivan, who just lay there and...never mind.

Jane would also be interested to know that today is the anniversary of the births of both Francisco de Goya in 1746 and Vincent van Gogh in 1853. We know from "The New Kid" and "Art Burn" that she has an interest in both of those artists, so she has twice the reason to celebrate.

Fanfic Update!
  • Great Professor Dario Ch. 1, by ST91 (part 7): "So Dario ascended the stairs, walked to the room of his parents and knocked on the ajar door. 'Come in.' Said a hoarse voice from within. Dario came in and as always, at the sight of his father lying in bed, a deep sadness took possession of him."

  • The Hallowed Halls Takes a Holiday (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: The Madness Sets In), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "After St. Patrick's Day couldn't convince him with the beer breath trick, Cupid took Tom's hand and said in a smooth voice, 'Now, you should feel relaxed and warm...'"

  • Lawndale and Sandi Griffin's Genie: Future Excerpt 1, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 3): "Chipmunk's Dream Chip was standing outside Lawndale High. She could see that the school buildings were still intact. She knew that there was something inside, that needed to be dealt with. She was prepared to go in and find it, and if necessary, take it out. She started walking towards the office."

  • Lies of Life, by Princess_Pasta (part 4): "If she wanted to get Daria to talk, they'd have to go somewhere that she couldn't hide. Helen made a mental note to take a day off of work; Daria had become her top priority."

  • My Dad the DirectorXXX, by macrossfan89 (part 2): "It had been several months since Daria Morgendorffer's family secret had been revealed on national television. As she had expected she soon had to suffer the questions of dozen of horny male classmates, and deal with disapproving stares from her fellow female students."

  • Unnamed story (Iron Chef : MMORPG, Lawndale style), by Waylander (part 7): "The Gnoll warrior, already used to Darlene's evasive fighting, wasn't ready for the girl throwing herself at his feet and thrusting the knife upwards with all the force she could muster. Critical Hit!"

  • Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: The Madness Sets In), by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "Somehow, Mack managed to pull away from a fiery embrace with Elsie and her overly skilled tongue ('We must be honest with ourselves,' as his uncle would always say)."

  • Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: The Madness Sets In), by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): "Daria: You have two cows. Nobody buys your milk because they think the cows are weird."

  • Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: The Madness Sets In), by Silver (COMPLETE!): "Daria relaxed. Her hands let go of the control yokes as the mekton toppled backwards, sending the machine and its pilot into freefall. Above her, the first of the long-dormant anti-satellite cannons flickered, then flared to brilliant light."

  • Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: The Madness Sets In), by Silver (COMPLETE!): "Dr. Richard Meriton, Chairman of the Maryland State Board of Education, calmly looked up from the papers in front of him and stared at Angela Li. 'Do you know why you were asked here today, Ms. Li?'"

  • Unnamed story (World's Shortest Crossover XIII - Crossovers are Magic!), by ashk09 (COMPLETE!): "So engrossed was she in observing Daria and Maud's conversation about speleology - literally, they had been discussing nothing but the formation of caves for the past hour - Jane didn't notice a figure descending from the ceiling like a bat."

  • Unnamed story (World's Shortest Crossover XIII - Crossovers are Magic!), by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): "'Director Fury, the Council has made a decision.'"

  • When love takes another path CH.4, by ST91 (part 1): "'Tom, are you awake?' asked Daria. 'Yes, unfortunately I can't sleep.' 'Neither can I. Tom, what do you think will happen now?'"

  • Y esto es Mystik Spiral, by taitolin (COMPLETE!): " insatisfacción que siento no es ajeno al que muchos de ustedes lo habrá sentido en algún momento de sus vidas, esa emoción que nos daba ahora nos causa aburrimiento... Trent doblo el papel y lo desecho en el cesto de basura, otro discurso mas que no le convencía."

Saturday, March 28, 2015

Weed Appreciation Day

Trent just found out that it's Weed Appreciation Day, and he seems pretty happy about it. Of course, that's not actually the kind of weed this holiday is celebrating, but why ruin it for him? Besides, he looks like he might have a song lyric brewing.

Fandom News!

Thursday, March 26, 2015

Dude Looks Like a Fashionista

Sandi's wishing a rocking happy birthday to Steven Tyler, who turns 67 today. Quinn would be the first to tell you what a big mouth Sandi has, but the huge belt and striped bell bottoms are a new addition.

Speaking of Sandi's downfalls, this also happens to be the anniversary of "Lucky Strike," which aired on this day in 2001. Quinn finally, finally admitted that Daria was actually her sister, and everyone but Sandi failed to give a crap.

Fanfic Update!
  • Is it Curtain Yet?, by Zetor (part 1): "Daria sighed and sat up. She glanced at her clock and saw that it was three thirty-four. Cursing the fact that her very important lounging was being cut short so that Quinn could get a ride to her friend's house, she grabbed the remote and turned off the TV."

  • Jane Scores (Iron Chef - Jane plays Football), by Smijey (COMPLETE!): "Daria walked with Jane as they travelled to their favorite pizza place after another day at Lawndale High. 'So.' Daria began. 'So?' Jane asked. 'How was football practice?' Daria finally asked."

  • Lies of Life, by Princess_Pasta (part 3): "'So, you have everything in your notes, right?' Quinn asked as her and Jane exited the school, 'And you can bring them in tomorrow?' Jane nodded, 'Yeah, you'll be out of there in no time.'"

  • Loves Me This Much (Iron Chef: Quinn's Trashfreak out), by macross (COMPLETE!): "She looked down at her hands; they were starting to turn white from the constant nervous wringing. 'Any minute now,' she thought. 'Any minute now she'll walk through the front door and I'll finally tell her that I know'."

  • QB-Wave Feminism, by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): "The team thought this over and agreed, in gutteral noises, that this random girl was indeed a slut. That was when Kevin coughed. 'Dude, that's not cool.'"

  • The Return of Mike Mavinsky, by PerkyGoth14 (part 1): "In the year 2020. It was for the 20th anniversary of Cartoon Cartoon Fridays and many people came back for the reunion."

  • The Spoilsport Agenda: Multiversal Breakdown Tsunami, by Erin M. (part 1): "Judith opened her eyes again, now back to their normal brown. She leaned over the table, her face bathed in the blue light. A grin crossed her face. If I lose, they are absolutely going to shit themselves over this."

Tuesday, March 24, 2015


Upchuck is happy to celebrate the birth of one of his idols, Harry Houdini, who was born on this day in 1874. Houdini is one of the world's most famous magicians, although I don't think any of his assistants wore sparkly costumes and non-waterproof mascara.

Today also marks two anniversaries, because both "Cafe Disaffecto" and "The Lost Girls" aired on this day in 1997 and 1999. We didn't see any magic shows in either of those episodes, although Daria did demonstrate a pretty impressive degree of mind control over her fellow students in the former and made an aging narcissist disappear in the latter.

Fandom News!

Sunday, March 22, 2015

"Help! Whoa! I'm drowning!"

Sandi doesn't seem to be enjoying World Water Day, but don't let that stop you from celebrating. In fact, that might be all the more reason to celebrate! I have no doubt Quinn is doing exactly that, but once Sandi gets out and dries off she'll definitely pretend otherwise.

Fanfic Update!
  • ARC ch. 7 Another day, another pain, by ST91 (part 3): "Daria, this time you have to admit that you're in a very bad shape. Thought the bespectacled girl looking at her reflection in the mirror."

  • Daria Plus, by Smijey (part 2): "Daria walked out of Mrs. Manson's office, deep in thought. Having nothing better to do, she'd once again plunged into New Game Plus, and this time toed the line to her memories of the initial playthrough."

  • Esteem de Tres (I.C./Discussion - Third Morgendorffer Sister à la Helen), by GlitterShrooms (part 1): "'Daria! Quinn! Let's go! I'm not gonna be late because of you two!' shouted Helena Jasmine, or HJ for short, up the staircase."

  • General Semantics, Private Angst, by gwrtheyrn (part 46): "Tony DeMartino, still without scheduling that long-overdue knee repair, discharged himself from Cedars of Lawndale two days later."

  • The Kiss (IC: Challenged by D), by dmsfanman (COMPLETE!): "Tom came up behind her, pulled her auburn hair back on her right side and gently kissed her neck. Then he put his arms around her slender waist and said quietly in her ear, 'What are you thinking about Daria?'"

  • Medical Test (Iron Chef: Start In The Middle of an Action Sequence), by NightGoblyn (COMPLETE!): "Blood is black when you're using night vision goggles to see."

  • Misery Machine, by NightGoblyn (part 9): "A few days later, the evening of the poster competition rolled around. Jane borrowed a clunky black van from one of her brother's band mates, and ferried the group down to the civic center."

  • Star Trek: Emerging Enterprise, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (COMPLETE!): "'That must have hit a nerve, Jim,' Bones said to his Captain and friend. 'That is for certain,' Jim Kirk said. 'They are most likely people from the real universe who were sent into the simulation to investigate the situation with the Enterprise,' Spock said."

  • Unnamed story (World's Shortest Crossover XIII - Crossovers are Magic!), by Astrocar82 (COMPLETE!): "'Do you have any rat poison?' Tom Griffin asked as he walked into a hardware store."

  • Unnamed story (World's Shortest Crossover XIII - Crossovers are Magic!), by Kuriamo22 (COMPLETE!): "The Doctor spun around to see Daria staring at him with a seductive twinkle in her eye. He immediately thought, 'Oh no. Not now, why does this always happen to me?'"

Friday, March 20, 2015

This Spaceship is Reeeeeeally Shiny

Tiffany is about to celebrate Extraterrestrial Abductions Day by kidnapping us all and taking her to her home planet so she can ask us repeatedly if things make her look fat. Kind of makes the horror of probing pale in comparison, doesn't it?

Come to think of it, it actually makes more sense than it should that Tiffany could be an alien. Honestly, I'm surprised there aren't any (or at least many) fanfics exploring that possibility. Perhaps she was the one those agents in "The Lawndale File" were really looking for!

Fandom News!

Wednesday, March 18, 2015

Hopefully Old MacDonald's Not About to Get Sued

Helen is getting back to basics on National Agriculture Day, but I wouldn't hold my breath waiting for any hand-kneaded bread. The girls are getting liberated, after all. Trent might be interested, though, if he ever takes Tom and Daria's advice about becoming a farmer who's paid not to grow crops.

Fanfic Update!
  • Daria Plus, by Smijey (part 1): "Daria blinked. "What the hell?" she said aloud. She was in a formless void, black as far as the eye could see."

  • ПОСЛЕДНЯЯ ПОСЛЕДНЯЯ(?) ГЛАВА, by Shad_Tkhom (COMPLETE!): "На самом деле, вылазка в парк, была для подруг краткой передышкой, возможностью, на очень короткое время, вынырнуть на поверхность, глотнуть свежего воздуха, словно двум пловчихам."

  • ПОСЛЕДНЯЯ (?) ГЛАВКА, by Shad_Tkhom (COMPLETE!): "Солнце пробивалось сквозь листву и Дарья, голова которой лежала на животе Джейн, прикрыла глаза. Разноцветные пятна плавали в темноте под веками, а рука Джейн, в это время ласково теребила волосы подруги."

  • Lies of Life, by Princess_Pasta (part 2): "Jane Lane looked up from her sketchbook in time to see the late arrival. The slender red-head standing in the front of the classroom was far too well-dressed to be lumped in with the rejects in Mr. O'Neill's self-esteem class."

Monday, March 16, 2015

"Stupid five-sided building!"

Jake, Helen, and all of their hippie friends are channeling their energy in support of the episode "That Was Then, This Is Dumb," which aired on this day in 1998. In addition to those flashbacks, we learned an awful lot about Jake and Helen's past in that one, most notably that Helen used to be famous for her oatmeal pumpkin seed loaf. We also found out that there exists at least one boy who's impervious to Quinn's influence.

Fandom News!

Saturday, March 14, 2015

Definitely Don't Hold This One Tightly in Your Hand!

It's Learn about Butterflies Day, and Daria appears to be taking the direct approach to learning. Jane's not interested, because she's learned as much as she cares to about butterflies from her mother.

For the math geeks out there, this is also National Pi Day--3/14! Have some pie, either dessert or pizza, but make sure you calculate the circumference before you eat it. If you're not already aware, today at 9:26:53 it will be 3/14/15 9:26:53, which corresponds to 3.141592653, the beginning digits of pi. Geek on, my friends!

Fanfic Update!
  • ПРЕКРАСНЫЕ УТРА, by Shad_Tkhom (COMPLETE!): "Том на­пил­ся. Пер­вый раз в жиз­ни. Ут­ром по­нял, что в пос­ледний."

  • ХОЛОДНЫЙ ДОМ, by Shad_Tkhom (COMPLETE!): "... Дарья открыла глаза ... Она ушла из своей палаты ранним утром и свернулась в этом кресле клубочком не только чтобы быть поближе к Джейн. Больничная кровать оказалась вампиром — Дарья чувствовала себя не отдохнувшей — скорее наоборот — ослабевшей ... И этот сон ..."

  • A Boring Summer, by ST91 (part 6): "As the first act of his work as a tutor, Dario asked Brittany which were the subjects in which she had difficulty and of these, which were the most difficult topics. Once he learned that Brittany had difficulty in all subjects except PE and that for each subject there were many topics not clear to her, an hour and a half had passed and the situation wasn’t very good."

  • #eyepatchgate (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: The Madness Sets In), by Smijey (COMPLETE!): "Joe Adler sidled up to the witness stand, at which sat the cool, composed Daria Morgendorffer sat. He had her dead to rights, and nobody, not even that shark lawyer of a mother she had, could do anything about it."

  • Lies of Life, by Princess_Pasta (part 1): "'I'm sorry, Daria, there's just nothing I can do.' 'You don't understand. I need this grade. All I'm asking for is a few more days. Three at the most.' 'My hands are tied. I'm sorry.'"

Thursday, March 12, 2015

Plant a Flower at Camp Grizzly...and Skip Will Trample It

The Tommy Sherman Memorial Tree/Crutch is celebrating Plant a Flower Day, in one of the odder canon events during the show. If you'd like, feel free to plant one in the ground, which would probably be easier.

This is also the anniversary of the episode "Camp Fear," which aired on this day in 2001. Not only was this episode notable for introducing Amelia, but it also showed us animated versions of two Daria fans: Michelle Klein-Hass and Erin Mills. Sadly, neither of them got to try Earl and Barbara's no salt, no grease, no taste potato chips.

Fandom News!

Tuesday, March 10, 2015

Some Middle Names are More Worthy of Pride Than Others

Mack and Jodie are leaping for joy because it's Middle Name Pride Day and, well, they're the only characters on Daria who officially have middle names--Jordan and Abigail. Of course, I doubt Mack's really feeling all that proud of his middle name, but let's just allow him his moment of happiness.

Today is also a triple anniversary, because it was on this day that the episodes "The Invitation," "Depth Takes a Holiday," and "A Tree Grows in Lawndale" first aired in 1997, 1999, and 2000. Bonus points to anyone who can come up with a good connecting thread among those three episodes, because I'm coming up blank.

Fanfic Update!
  • "Aw Mama...Can This Really Be The End?", by Scissors MacGillicutty (part 37): "The man took off his straw hat and set it on the blue and white seersucker jacket folded by his side on the bench. Looking out the window, he smoothed his thinning white hair, and called to the young man seated at the counter to his left, 'Eton?'"

  • Consequences, by ST91 (part 6): "Clint was nervous. The idea of having an official date with Jane terrified him."

  • A Night In Manhattan: A Griffin Story, by Meester_Lee (part 1): "It was one of those kinds of visits, with business that couldn't be done quickly and settled during the course of a morning or an afternoon. He'd have to stay over. It was also the sort of visit that required a measure of anonymity, so he chose to conceal himself in crowds and take a hotel room in a Muggle part of New York."

  • Origins of the Ringbearers - Michael, by Brother Grimace (part 3): "Angela Li – all eighteen years and five-feet three of her, with the face of a runway model and the air of a puppy acting as if were an attack dog – stood her ground in front of Mark Schindler's desk."

  • РАЗГОВОРЫ ..., РАЗГОВОРЫ ..., by Shad_Tkhom (COMPLETE!): "Дарья не могла винить Линди. Она сама, Дарья-«мозг»-ботан конченный, не заметила как младшая сестрёнка выросла — впервые стала сопереживать другому, вынула голову из тряпок и увидела, что непраильно подобраные(не под цвет глаз) носки ещё не трагедия, а вышедший из моды галстук не мировая катастрофа."

  • Physical Teducation (The Ted Zone), by Kristen Bealer (COMPLETE!): "That could be me, he realized with growing hope. Perhaps I could enroll in some kind of sport and get my name in the newspaper! And then everyone at school would notice me!"

  • Runaway Daria : Guardians of the Galaxy (IC Runaway Daria), by Waylander (COMPLETE!): "As the leader of the infamous Ravagers, Yondu Udonta was a business man first and foremost. He had been accustomed to all forms of depravity, and barely batted an eye at his customers' outrageous requests... at least if the price was right."

  • Spelling It Out (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: The Madness Sets In), by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "'A school-wide spelling bee to foster academic awareness and pride.' Daria's foul mood was fully evident even to Principal Li and Mr. O'Neill, who were standing at the edge of the auditorium stage as they watched the proceedings."

  • Spirit Stick, by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "'Well... that isn't good.' Valkyrie felt her Ring's defensive shield snap into existence; in the cool, early evening air alive with the shimmer of the Aurora Borealis, she saw the momentary twinkle of a crystal-blue oval surround Archangel as his shield activated."

  • The Ultimate Showdown (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: The Madness Sets In), by Smijey (COMPLETE!): "Jane passed the note to the new girl who sat across from her in the self-esteem class. 'You slam?' she'd written."

  • Unnamed story (Mr. O'Neill, Asshole), by Smijey (COMPLETE!): "Daria kept one ear open as Mr. O'Neill lectured to the children making tchotchke after tchotchke. 'Now, I want each of you to think of the blue lanyard as representing how you feel on the inside, and the green as how my wallet feels on the inside. Picture --'"

  • Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: The Madness Sets In), by Silver (COMPLETE!): "Daria awoke with a start. Correction: A start and the greatest great-grandmother of all headaches. Her hands shot to her head, and she stifled a cry of pain."

Sunday, March 8, 2015

So Much for the Lawndale Businesswoman's Alliance

Stay out of Linda Griffin's way today--she just found out she has to share International (Working) Women's Day with Helen Morgendorffer, and the fallout is not going to be pretty. Also, please don't mention the holiday to Michele Landon; she's a bit sensitive about the subject of women and careers. And about everything else, too.

Fandom News!

Friday, March 6, 2015

A Toothy Problem

Mr. O'Neill is sharing some bad news in honor of Dentist's Day, which is probably that he's no better as a dentist than he was as a teacher. No wonder Mr. DeMartino--I mean, Metalmouth--lost all of his teeth.

On the other hand, those of you who can still chew food can enjoy National Frozen Food Day, and bonus points to anyone who has frozen lasagna for dinner. Just be sure to thaw it out first, okay? Not everyone has hand-forged steel dentures to eat with.

Fanfic Update!
  • ВСТРЕЧА, by Shad_Tkhom (COMPLETE!): "Квин чувствовала себя ... не в своей тарелке. Что отдавало дурацким каламбуром - потому что в этот момент она сидела за столиком кафе как раз над тарелкой и задумчиво ковыряла вилкой в салате."

  • Correspondence, by JPAGC (COMPLETE!): "Dear Mr. DeMartino: I write in response to your letter of the 9th February. Before I address its contents, I should state that I personally find its allegations as of being of a particularly grave nature."

  • Daria: College Pains The Sophomore Year, by James the Lesser (part 5): "Jane is with... She never got his name. She had never given him hers. This was just two people helping others and when they needed it, helping each other."

  • The Daria Hero, by EntrancedCat (part 1): "Daria put a bit of hustle into her walk to 111 Howard Drive. Although she was very much looking forward to that night's entertainment she also steeled herself for Jane's likely reactions."

  • Unnamed story (IC: Mr. O'Neill, Student Guidance Councilor), by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "'Attention, students! I have the honor to announce at this mandatory all-school assembly that Mr. O'Neill is being promoted!'"

  • Unnamed story (Iron Chef : MMORPG, Lawndale style), by Waylander (part 6): "Gnolls started the assault without the preliminary bombardment; ignoring the hail of arrows from the squad of Elven archers and several Dwarven crossbowmen, they placed ladders up against the Drammarstard walls and started climbing. The Healer jabbed her elbow into Darlene's side, 'Don't stand here gaping at me! You can either help us or stay out of the way!'"

  • Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Reject a Daria Character), by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): "Dear Mr Thompson I'm afraid that we do not have a place at LSU for you."

  • Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Reject a Daria Character), by Princess_Pasta (COMPLETE!): "Dear Mr. Lane, We regret to inform you that your partially completed application will not be considered for admittance."

  • Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Reject a Daria Character), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "Dear Mr. Ruttheimer, It pains me to write that we will not be able to offer you a place in the class entering Augusta University this fall."

  • We Can't, by probablyprocrastinatingnow (part 2): "Jane picked up a handful of soggy popcorn.'Eww, Daria. There's like a gallon of butter on this.' Jane put the food in her mouth anyway, because it was food and she was Jane."

  • What is Fashion?, by Smijey (part ): "'Like, it's like I can't trust anybody to tell me what fashion is,' she mused aloud. 'Things keep going wrong.' She walked past a Kay Jeweler's. 'I wish there was a way to ask, like, God, or the universe, or whatever, what I should be doing.'"

  • When love takes another path, by ST91 (parts 2 and 3): "It was a cold evening in late autumn and Jake Morgendorffer, freshman at Middleton College, was walking around the campus. He didn't know where he was going because anger guided his steps." (Part 3)

  • Woes (IC: Mr. O'Neill, Student Guidance Councilor), by Princess_Pasta (COMPLETE!): "'Now, I want you to tell me all about your feelings following this recent disastrous event. It must've been catastrophic for you, being at the epicenter of it all.' 'Dude, I didn't even know we had a library!'"

  • You're History! (Iron Chef: DeMartino History Class), by dmsfanman (COMPLETE!): "Daria walked through the door into Mr. DeMartino's classroom. Jane followed on her heels and the two sat down in the front row on the side of the classroom nearest the door."

Wednesday, March 4, 2015

Because It's Been Awhile....

Caption this image in the comments!

Monday, March 2, 2015

The Kook in the Book

Today is a Ted-a-riffic day, because both DeWitt Clinton, the American politician that Ted DeWitt-Clinton was likely named after, and Theodor Seuss Geisel, better known as Dr. Seuss, were born on this day in 1769 and 1904. I have no idea if Ted's ever read "The Cat in the Hat," but I'm sure his parents would condemn it as an empty offering of society or something like that.

Also on this day in 1998, the episode "Quinn the Brain" first aired and taught us that Daria and Quinn should never venture outside of their prescribed roles. Until season four, anyway.

Fandom News!