Monday, September 29, 2014

"Fashion show, Mom. Don't handicap yourself."

Daria's enjoying a rare peaceful moment on International Coffee Day, and I'm sure Jake's going to join her soon. Let's just hope he's got decaf, though. Also, Quinn wants to remind everyone that coffee = caffeine = dark circles. That was today's public service announcement.

Speaking of Jake, today is also World Heart Day, so whatever you do, don't mention what the doctor told him about cheese.

Fanfic Update!
  • Another Saint Daria, by LSauchelli (part 1): "'Where did I go wrong?' She wondered out loud. But she knew."

  • Backstage Preparations (Iron Chef: Oh No, She Didn't!), by JPAGC (COMPLETE!): "(Scene: the backstage of a beauty pageant. A young woman is preparing to go on stage. She is assisted by three other women) 'All right, Daria, again: considering the current world state of affairs and the threat posed by extremist terrorist political groups with the operating all over the world, what do you think...'"

  • First Words (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: No longer in the 1%), by DarkDranzer (COMPLETE!): "It was spring time in the old DeMartino residence that normally housed two occupants. Tonight, however, was a special night where the elder member of the household was expecting this evening to go well."

  • Forced Impression, by Indigo (part 4): "'You don't think nearly all my clothes going missing at the same time as we moved to a new town just happened, do you?' 'You mean mom arranged it somehow?' 'Yep, this way no one in Lawndale got to see the real me.'"

  • Loopholes (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: No longer in the 1%), by DarkDranzer (COMPLETE!): "Anthony DeMartino was grinning ear to ear, sure the school he teaches at is an irredeemable cesspit of corruption and failure but today he's been given a lifeline."

  • Occupy Lawndale (Iron Chef: Billionaire Daria), by InvisibleDan (COMPLETE!): "It began on my eighteenth birthday. I woke up from a dream that I couldn't remember. That always irritates me."

  • Psychiatric Devaluation, by DarkDranzer (part 4): "On the other side of the door Anthony growled, he could just picture Barch's damn smug face right now. However, Li's comment hit a raw nerve. All she saw was the glory of Laaawndale High, all the more glorious for her because she didn't have to teach the damn idiots that populated it."

  • Redux, by Princess_Pasta (part 14): "A slight figure dressed in a form-fitting pair of black jeans and a heavy jacket stood on the edge of the railroad tracks, cool night air blowing her long hair in several directions. She stood and stared, the tiny suburb of Lawndale seemingly gigantic as it was spread out before her."

  • Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Billionaire Daria), by DIsaac (COMPLETE!): "'Well I can't believe it! The old bat finally gave up the ghost finally.' Jake said in his joking manner. 'JAKE!' Helen said quickly to remind him of where the family was."

  • Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Billionaire Daria), by TheTuxedo (COMPLETE!): "Daria paid the clerk and took her pizza to the only empty booth, where she sat down alone. She liked to come here occasionally to pretend she was someone else, someone who wasn't judged on the size of her wallet."

  • Up In Smoke, by Princess_Pasta (part 1): "Quinn tried not to let her restlessness affect her work matter how tiring her job was becoming. As an administrative assistant, she had to do lots of menial tasks that made her want to rip every red hair from her head."

Saturday, September 27, 2014

At Least She'll Be Safe from the Reds!

It's Crush a Can Day, and I'm sure Daria would love to try, given the lack of can openers available. If only Kevin and his can-crushing head were there--I'm sure he'd actually be useful for once!

This is also World Tourism Day, when everyone should leave their comfort zone, get out into the world, and meet new people! I think I just figured out what Daria's doing in the bomb shelter.

Fandom News!

Thursday, September 25, 2014

"Pow! Blam! Kablooey!"

Kevin's definitely enjoying National Comic Book Day, with a little help from Ratboy. Why not grab a comic of your own and kick back for awhile? Hopefully yours contains less tooth swallowing than Kevin's does. Unless you're into that, in which case go nuts.

Fanfic Update!
  • Behind the Counter, by NightGoblyn (part 11): "Daria glanced up as the door beeper started making its noise, and frowned slightly to herself at the customer who was now wandering down the second aisle of the store."

  • Close Encounters of the Mystik Kind (Ideas!), by Princess_Pasta (part 1): "He noticed that the person in front of him wasn't a 'dude' at all but a teenage girl. She was brushing off her black v-neck t-shirt, her red painted lips turned down into a frown."

  • Daria's Roundworld, by TheTuxedo (parts 1 and 2): "The sounds of the tome being hefted over and dropped onto a table could be heard, followed by turning pages and a finger tracing a line. 'Ah, here we are.' She lowered her voice, and whispered dramatically, 'The Rite of AshkEnte.'" (Part 2)

  • DW: Legacy of the Doctor, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 1): "A female Tyrannosaurus Rex is walking in the Thames near Westminster. Police Officers are holding back the crowds. Police Officer (Gregson): Madame Vastra, Thank goodness. I'd wager you haven't seen anything like this before. Madame Vastra: Takes off veil. Well, not since I was a little girl."

  • Favours (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: No longer in the 1%), by DarkDranzer (COMPLETE!): "(Timothy O'Neill knocks on the science lab door) Mrs. Barch: (deadpan) 'Door's unlocked and if you're a man I've got a full beaker of hydrochloric acid in arm's reach. Try me.'"

  • The Hearts Within, by neonhomer (part 12): "The knock on my door woke me up. 'If you're not dead, you're going to wish you were if I have to get out of this bed!' I snapped, hoping to scare the offending person away."

  • The Last Beat of My Heart (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: No longer in the 1%), by LongSnakeMoan (COMPLETE!): "'Wake up, Tommy. It's over.' He heard screaming somewhere, his own name mostly Tommy Sherman followed by words he couldn't quite make out."

  • A Promise Is A Promise (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: No longer in the 1%), by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "Bound to Stacy's (soon-to-be-replaced) bed with the arm and leg manacles that no one dared ask the origin of, Kevin watched as the Fashion Club girls finished slathering... something... all across his chest and down to his privates, bulging through his tighty-whities."

  • Psychiatric Devaluation, by DarkDranzer (part 3): "Calming himself down from the surge of adrenaline, he tried to think of a way to get to the window to his escape before those idiots caught up with him. In his unusual state of lucidity, he admitted he went overboard with strangling Kevin, even if the boy had been a consistent thorn in his side for over two years."

  • Star Trek: Daria - Resurrection, by echopapa (part 11): "'Shuttlebay Two,' Daria read aloud. 'I guess this is the place.' She had just started packing her meager belongings when she was interrupted by the page from her intercom asking her to report to the shuttlebay."

  • Unnamed story (Iron Chef: First Aid), by DarkDranzer (COMPLETE!): "Jodie: Alright, guys? We need to keep him alive until the paramedics arrive, which we still need to contact as Ms. Li conveniently banned all cell phones at the school. Andrea: Why?"

  • Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Oh, No! O'Neill!), by NightGoblyn (COMPLETE!): "'Take the case, Helen,' he'd said. 'You don't have to win it, but take it, run it start to finish. When it's over, I'll make you a full partner - none of this junior partner nonsense, your name will be the fourth one on the list. Just take the case, show me you can.'"

  • Upper Echelon, by Princess_Pasta (part 17): "The beeping of a horn alerted him to the fact that a car was waiting for him at the curb. Sitting behind the wheel was Helen, still looking exactly the same as when he left. It was hard to believe she aged a day, unlike Jake who was already starting to sport gray hairs."

Tuesday, September 23, 2014

Summer Walked Out On Us! Just...Like...That!

Ms. Barch is representing Mother Nature in honor of the September Equinox, and I can't think of a more nurturing person to give the job to. Except maybe Genghis Khan. Still, we can finally answer one of the Daria movie questions: yes, it is fall yet.

Fandom News!

Sunday, September 21, 2014

Fore! Yeah.

Jesse is playing a few rounds in honor of Miniature Golf Day. When he was told that the holiday was for miniature golf, not regular golf, he sagely replied, "Cool."

J. R. R. Tolkien's The Hobbit was published on this day in 1937, so now's the time to make a lumpy candle for your significant other. Or was it a wizard?

Finally, this is Banned Books Week, so Daria's sure to be yelling at her television in her fight against censorship.

Fanfic Update!
  • ASPS 3, by PrecambrianStudios (part 1): "Scratching at the stubble on his face, he thought, I am genuinely looking forward to meeting you. Dmitri was the key. Dmitri would help him to change Fielding."

  • Daria: College Pains Redux, by James the Lesser (part 23): "'I don't smoke any more. She made us quit after the cops were here for Tom's sister. If I had gotten busted for it I'd be in prison.' 'Oh, true.' Jane had liked Lindy before but now she was surprised to find a kind of respect, almost reverence, for Lindy. She had gotten Trent and the rest of Mystic Spiral to do more than they had for years."

  • Mine, by Vukodlak (part 11): "Daria stared at her dresser where she'd set the little white stick to wait out the three minutes. She hadn't been this nervous in years; but at least this time she had Tom's lap to settle into."

  • Possibilities, by Sureia (part 24): "It had come as something of a shock to Matt when he learned that Hollywood had been lying to him about endings all his life. In the movies the hero generally got to walk away unmolested and being able to defend yourself earned you respect and personal space. Reality, it turned out, was a lot less considerate."

  • Psychiatric Devaluation, by DarkDranzer (part 2): "'Ah, Anthony. I take it you received my message?' Anthony leaned back on the chair, causing it to creak and rolled his eyes at her question. 'It would be FOOLISH of me to say NO at this point, ESPECIALLY since you went through all the TROUBLE of calling me BEFORE SIX this morning.'"

  • Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: No longer in the 1%), by DarkDranzer (COMPLETE!): "Mr. O'Neill: (with tissues on his lap while reading Little Women, did not notice a door slam shut and someone entering the stall next to him) Oh Jo...Be worthy love, and love will come in the falling summer r--* Mr. DeMartino: WUUUARRGHHH!!"

  • Upper Echelon, by Princess_Pasta (part 16): "Daria averted her eyes, apparently very interested in the Periodic Table of Elements. Quinn noticed and immediately shifted to investigative mode. She could always tell when Daria was hiding something. The hard part was getting her to talk."

Friday, September 19, 2014


Yo ho ho! Shiver me timbers! And other cliches as well! That's right, it's International Talk Like A Pirate Day once again, and Upchuck is on the lookout for the comely wenches. Meanwhile, the comely wenches are nervously fingering their pepper spray.

Shane Greentree/Gregor Samsa wrote a few Daria fanfics that fit in nicely with this holiday: Esteemarrs!, I Don't (Like Landlubbers), and The Plunderin' Of Don Jake. Enjoy, me hearties!

Fandom News!

Wednesday, September 17, 2014

Tom's Too Occupied by Cash to Notice

Three years ago today, the Occupy Wall Street movement began. Tom, as a member of the one percent, isn't terribly interested, but Charles RB tried a Daria twist on the protest in his God Save the Esteem story "Occupational Hazard" in which the Landons occupy Dega Street. It's exactly as crazy as it sounds.

Fanfic Update!
  • Ah, Hell, by metameric1 (part 22): "She couldn't concentrate with that sound coming from somewhere. The heating system vent regulators in the English Department Graduate Student workroom didn't work at all, and they had to leave the window cracked open to keep the room from getting too hot. Too bad her headphones were sitting on the nightstand in the bedroom."

  • ASPS, by PrecambrianStudios (part 75): "'ALL RIGHT, people,' DeMartino roared to the assembled members of the yearbook club, causing at least a few students to flinch. 'Due to INCREASES in funds, we are now REQUIRED to give more coverage to the ACADEMIC clubs. And since we have enough interviews to last another three yearbooks, we're going to need more PHOTOGRAPHS. Any VOLUNTEERS?'"

  • Cold Esteem, by Indigo (COMPLETE!): "It was late afternoon as Superintendent Cartwright responded to the buzzing of the intercom on his desk. 'Yes, what is it?' he asked his secretary. 'Ms Daria Morgendorffer is still waiting to speak to you; she has been here for more than an hour now.'"

  • The Hearts Within, by neonhomer (part 11): "It was bothering me that Jane wasn't there. I kept thinking back to this morning, where she said she wasn't mad, but yet, why wasn't she walking with me? Almost every day since I've been here, we've walked back and forth to school together."

  • Upper Echelon, by Princess_Pasta (part 15): "As if things couldn't get any worse, Jane was enlisting her to aid in the search for the "perpetrators" as she'd taken to calling them. It wasn't that Daria didn't want to see the assholes taken down, it was that she didn't have the energy to get involved."

  • When You Wasn't Famous, by -sam (COMPLETE!): "Ginny tightened her grip on her broom as she waited for the referee to start the fixture against Italy." (Part 19) (Part 20) (Part 21) (Part 22) (Part 23) (Epilogue)

Monday, September 15, 2014

It was Beauty that Beat the Crap Out of the QB

Brittany and Kevin are too busy to wish Fay Wray a happy birthday, but the late actress was born on this day in 1907. She was best known for her role in the classic film King Kong, which is being reenacted on the left.

Kevin is definitely not forgetting their anniversary again for a very long time.

Fandom News!

Saturday, September 13, 2014

Two Great Holidays that Taste Great Together!

Tom and Daria are enjoying some of Quinn's candy in honor of not only National Peanut Day, but also International Chocolate Day. If Quinn complains, they can explain that they're doing her a favor--some of that candy might have contained pistachios, and they know Quinn's allergic to the dye!

Fanfic Update!
  • Fire Fighter, by vlora (part 1): "Trent narrowed his eyes as he watched tom go up the stairs. He turned right, not left. Unless he had to go to Trent's room, or Penny's, there wasn't much that way. Trent shouldn't have noticed, but he had."

  • Hemming's Way, by ognawk (COMPLETE!): "His thoughts were suddenly interrupted by the sound of gunfire behind him and panicked screaming. He turned to see a gang of men in balaclavas, all holding guns and pointing them in the air."

  • Redux, by Princess_Pasta (part 13): "She looked up as Annie returned to the table, a tall girl shuffling along beside her. She looked like she wanted to flee as soon as she saw Andrea sitting there. Typical."

  • When You Wasn't Famous, by -sam (parts 16 and 17): "'I have a question for you Ginny,' Shackleton said. 'Do you have any comment on the play of your Seeker today?' Ginny grit her teeth, the man was a vile toad always out to find the most discordant stories." (Part 17)

Thursday, September 11, 2014

Remembering a Tragedy

Today we observe Patriot Day, which commemorates the September 11, 2001 terrorist attacks. Several Daria fanfic writers have included the tragedy in their stories, and among them are:

Fandom News!

Tuesday, September 9, 2014

Daria Doesn't Do "Cuddly"

It's Teddy Bear Day, and Daria is super excited about it, as you can see. You can almost read her mind here: "Let me guess. It squeaks."

On a personal note, today marks the fourth anniversary of my taking the reins at this very blog, and so far I've managed not to utterly destroy fandom in a violent orgy of fire and explosions. Not bad, although we'll have to see what the coming year brings....

Fanfic Update!
  • ARC ch. 7 Another day, another pain, by ST91 (part 2): "When Daria came home she was not surprised to find the lights off and no one waiting for her. She was very pleased about that. She had too many thoughts in her mind and did not want to talk to anyone."

  • ASPS, by PrecambrianStudios (part 74): "Karis felt a sudden urge to scream a series of obscenities in French at this girl, but she was already gone, and instead, frustrated tears welled up in her eyes."

  • Daria: College Pains Redux, by James the Lesser (part 22): "'Daria?' The door opens and reveals Cousin Erin. 'What are you doing here?' Daria looks up from her boots. 'I didn't know where else to go. Who to talk to.'"

  • Double Down, by neonhomer (part 45): "'Attention students,' Came Ms. Li's voice over the intercom. Tilly and Tristan both looked at each other. 'Funny, haven't heard her on the intercom in a while.' Said Tristan to Tilly in a hushed tone. 'Quiet you.' Said Tilly."

  • Possibilities, by Sureia (part 23): "Like Angie had before her, Jane groaned in frustration at the sight of Joey and Jamie trading blows. For friends they seemed to spend an inordinate amount of time beating one another, though it was strange not to see Jeffy there."

  • Redux, by Princess_Pasta (part 12): "Jace's hands were clenched into fists, his short nails digging into his palms. There was jam staining his shirt sleeve but that was the last of his worries. He was breathing heavily and it was only a matter of time before he exploded."

  • Sleeping Firsts, by Snow-Kitty (part 5): "Jane chuckled to herself as she peered through the blue-tinted window of the rec room. 'Hey Daria check this out,' she called to her friend. 'Mr. DeMartino's trashing the rec room with rose petals.'"

  • When You Wasn't Famous, by -sam (parts 14 and 15): "The next morning Ginny woke with a start when she realised she wasn't in her own bed. She settled back into the overstuffed pillow when she remembered she had spent the night with Harry and was in his hotel suite. She rolled onto her side and saw that Harry was already awake, and looking at her." (Part 15)

Sunday, September 7, 2014

Just Be Glad Mother Barksdale Stayed Home

Ruth Morgendorffer is here to remind us that today is National Grandparent's Day, and also to suggest that you hire a decorator. Jane's grandmother couldn't make it, but she asked that I pass along a message from her: "What the hell is wrong with you?!"

Aw. Grandmas are so sweet, aren't they?

Fandom News!

Friday, September 5, 2014

Watch Out for that Cheese Burn

Daria and Tom look miserable because they forgot today was National Cheese Pizza Day and seem to have accidentally ordered pizza with toppings but no cheese. Must be the Fashion Club special.

Today is also Be Late for Something Day, and Trent will get right on that just as soon as he remembers what it was he was supposed to be late for.

Fanfic Update!
  • Ah, Hell, by metameric1 (part 21): "He sat on the edge of the bed, looking around. This was home, where they had lived together for the last two and a half years."

  • ASPS, by PrecambrianStudios (part 73): "In the darkened basement that had once served as the Mafia's headquarters, Roan Breckenridge sat in a chair sitting opposite of the young man who had invited her: Dmitri Vagin."

  • Mine Origins, by Vukodlak (part 4): "'What!?' Jake screeched squeezing the box of Moo Goo Gai Pan and sending all over the table. 'Who did this I'll kill him!'"

  • Sonoma Coma, by jtranser (part 17): "Brittany continued her presentation: 'A top cheerleader has to have good bounce, swing and volume.' Jane smirked and said: 'And that's just the hair. O.K., Brittany, what's the next item on the agenda?'"

  • Star Trek: Daria - Resurrection, by echopapa (part 10): "Daria was finally able to excuse herself and return to her table with Counselor Troi who had been watching her encounter with Worf with amusement. 'Whew!' said Daria. 'Is he usually that talkative'"

  • Unnamed story (Iron Chef : MMORPG, Lawndale style), by TheTuxedo (COMPLETE!): "With a whirr, the PC ejected the CD drive, bringing the boy out of his daze. A few clicks on the mouse later, he was staring at the character creation screen."

  • Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Morgendorffers as Texan stereotypes), by Tuisto (COMPLETE!): "But then, disturbing this everyday Lawndale High morning came 'The Rumble.' Students would later claim that they felt it before they actually heard it."

  • Upper Echelon, by Princess_Pasta (parts 13 and 14): "The Thompson house was a place Sue had never set foot in before that night. It was passable as far as the decor went. The company left a lot to be desired." (Part 14)

  • When You Wasn't Famous, by -sam (parts 11 - 13): "'Oh ho!' Prentiss said. 'It sounds like there's a story there.' Harry gave a shrug. 'Not really, I was mates with one of her brothers at Hogwarts so I quickly learned what not to do around Ginny if you don't want to have your own bogeys attack you.'" (Part 12) (Part 13)

  • Your Honor (IC: Judge Helen Morgendorffer), by ST91 (COMPLETE!): "'For what!? Helen today is the day of the ceremony! Today you will be appointed associate justice of the Supreme Court by President Clinton!'"

Wednesday, September 3, 2014

Just Don't Ask Jake to Set Up Your Auction

Quinn is just doing a little online shopping in honor of eBay's birthday. The shopping website opened on this day in 1995, and I'm sure Quinn was one of the first people to max out her parents' credit cards there. Unless she considered online shopping too "computer geek" for her tastes.

Fandom News!

Monday, September 1, 2014

"Man, what a good day to just kick back and chill."

Happy Labor Day to those who actually get the day off! Helen is probably not among them, but I suppose that's fitting--it's a holiday that celebrates working, so somebody ought to be doing something productive. Not me, though.

Fanfic Update!
  • Ah, Hell, by metameric1 (part 20): "The rest of the summer was a difficult period of adjustment. Waking up without him was a great way of starting the day on a definite downer."

  • The Art of Life, by Leni (COMPLETE!): "When she was two, Jane painted flowers along the bottom of the walls. Penny and Summer would wander delightedly in her wake, gathering the blossoms into colorful bouquets and pinning crooked lilies and wildflowers into each other's hair."

  • ASPS, by PrecambrianStudios (part 72): "A girl of elementary-school age, wearing a ratty grey hoodie and jeans so faded that they were practically white stood up on several bags of garbage and looked at him. At first, the manager thought she was wearing a parka from the frayed hood, until he realized that what he thought to be damaged lining was in fact long, ratty platinum-blonde hair. 'Yeah?' said Roan impatiently."

  • Black Cloaks of Lawndale, by Waylander (part 18): "When Herb read a short essay about the five famous mages of twentieth century written by Jane, he wasn't surprised to find David Copperfield at the top of the list."

  • Daria: High School Reunion, by Serrallonga (part 3): "MELODY: Daria. (DARIA recognizes the agent and keeps on walking away, ignoring her. Melody insists) MELODY: *Please*? (Daria stops, without turning her head)"

  • Daria's Addition (Iron Chef: Arranged Marriage), by Vukodlak (COMPLETE!): "'Daria.....' Jane looked to her friend as they walked down the street. This question had been burning in her mind all day and she'd been working up the nerve to ask."

  • Don't Read This, Mr O'Neil, by Matryoshka-Sweetheart (COMPLETE!): ">Okay, Mr. O'Neil apparently had a brilliant burst of inspiration for us to keep a journal to write out feelings in some attempt to become closer with our inner selves. Bunch of crap, if you ask me."

  • Forced Impression, by Indigo (part 2): "Helen glanced in her rear-view mirror and saw the girls walking home together. She saw that there was one thing that had improved already; Quinn was happier to be seen in Daria's company now that she was dressing more appropriately."

  • Fresh Hell, by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "Did we move? Daria thought. She held her tongue. This place was that same as any other place in the Terran Empire, or to be the Terran Empire some day if the announcers on the radio had it right."

  • General Semantics, Private Angst, by gwrtheyrn (part 45): "General Audhoyo snorted in derision. '"Represents the 'Gorgzin,'" does she?' he sneered. 'Your "Gorgzin" has no authority over me. I represent the human beings of Earth.' The man seemed unaware that he was in irons, with guns pointed in his general direction."

  • One Night at the Dockside Cafe, by Cap (COMPLETE!): "One peeled away from the crowd turning to the right. He was young, early twenties perhaps, slender with broad shoulders and close cropped hair. He carried a laptop and three thick books tucked tightly against his hip."

  • Redux, by Princess_Pasta (part 11): "Middleton was home to a number of sororities and fraternities, most of which Quinn had already researched. While she browsed the photos on the internet, she imagined herself there among the other Phi Delta Gammas. She would be back on top."

  • Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Arranged Marriage), by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "Tom Sloane stared glumly into his glass of tea. 'This is the worst possible way that an arranged marriage could work.'"

  • Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Arranged Marriage), by neonhomer (COMPLETE!): "'This is not happening! No way in hell is this happening!' Amy Barksdale screamed into the phone. 'I am not some puppet for you to do with as you see fit, Mother!'"

  • Unnamed story (Iron Chef : MMORPG, Lawndale style), by Waylander (part 3): "Once Daria read about the specifics of Half-Aliens, it was easy to understand the developers' logic."

  • When You Wasn't Famous, by -sam (parts 9 and 10): "'Harry,' Dean started to say. 'Was that,' Seamus said. 'Ginny Weasley?' Neville said, concluding the question. The three friends all stared at Harry who proceeded to pour himself a cup of tea." (Part 10)