The Moonwalking Lawyer

Helen is showing off some sweet dance moves in honor of the late Michael Jackson, who was born on this day in 1958. For another Daria/Prince of Pop crossover, see Elryd's alter ego Michael Jackson Mackenzie.

Kevin would far rather celebrate National Sports Day, and while I'm sure he'd enjoy any activity that involves athletics we all know his first (and perhaps only) love is football. Great big guys running into other great big guys? What's not to like?

Daria, on the other hand, might enjoy celebrating International Bat Night, given her dream of one day sleeping upside-down and spreading rabies. Unless the COVID pandemic soured her on the whole idea.

Fanfic Update!

• Beavis and Butt-head in Anger Management, by itslipped (COMPLETE!): "A violent crash, a series of screams, and the sound of slamming doors jostle Beavis & Butt-Head awake. The classroom's empty now."


• Come up through my toes, to my ankles, to my head, to my soul, by riotsquirrrl (COMPLETE!): "Later on, Daria would wonder, why that night? Why not the night before or the next week? She didn't believe in fate, but she did believe in her ability to be bossed around by charismatic extroverts."


• The Day It Happened (Scenes, Brainstorms, and Drabbles Thread), by itslipped (COMPLETE!): "Jane stares at, well, Jane. Doing this for a few more seconds before the words tumble out of her mouth, 'You did what?'"


• Far Away, For Too Long, by ViriVulpi (COMPLETE!): "She heard her alarm and grabbed her glasses from the nightstand. It was the weekend and she forgot to turn off the switch."


• Jim Gets Jacked, by WildDogJJ (COMPLETE!): "It’s the mid-day lunch rush at the restaurant that Quinn and Jim co-own with the latter’s uncle, Vito Carbone. Usually, the only owner putting in work is Quinn. Today, however, after two years of incessant prodding from his wife Jim is the one putting in work." (Part 2) (Part 3)


• Lucy in the Sky with Daria, by Blake C Stacey (BlakeStacey) (COMPLETE!): "Jane and Daria lay in the sand, listening to the waves, hearing them counterpoint the crackles of the fire, as the Earth turned under the stars."


• Pokemon: May's Journey, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 4): "Two days after her trip to Sinnoh, May arrived in Ever Grande City. Steven had agreed to a rematch and discussion."


• Spider Quinn 22 Attractions of Lawndale, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (COMPLETE!): "'Thanks for letting me know about Kevin,' Peterson said when SpiderGIrl was finished. 'You’re right to be concerned. Obsessions like that can lead to trouble.'"


• What even is life?, by natalieee_139 (part 2): "The first night at Jane's was okay, although deep inside there was something that didn't sit right with Daria. She weirdly felt out of place, and was putting too much thought into breaking up with Tom."

But Can They Dance on the Head of a Pin?

I don't think Daria and Jane are fooling anyone with their angel act, even if today is Be an Angel Day. At least Jake doesn't have to worry about his daughters going up to join that heavenly choir.

For winged creatures without all of the theological baggage, it's also National Tooth Fairy Day! Metal Mouth might make a good profit if he leaves his (many) lost teeth under his pillow tonight.

Daria will be pleased (or as pleased as she ever is) to know that today is the anniversary of Dorothy Parker's birth in 1893. The snarky late author would have been just Daria's speed, and I would not be surprised at all to find she was a fan.

Fandom News!

• Talk about the recent egg recall in the United States.


• cfardell_Brenorenz29 posted a new Iron Chef: Theatrical Sabotage at Raft.


• janethamill is looking for help accessing SFMB.

"What a good day to just kick back and chill!"

Helen and Jake have the right idea for Relaxation Day, but don't get used to it. The only way they'd both be this calm is in a fantasy sequence, which is exactly what this is. They sure do look happy for being figments of someone else's imagination, though, don't they?

They may be able to rekindle that laidback attitude if the kids go back to Alternapalooza, which took place on this day in what was most likely 1997. The last time the girls were out of the house for the music festival, Helen and Jake...had a lot of fun.

At the very least, they could reminisce about music festivals from their own youth, but not Woodstock, which began on this day in 1969. Their free concert of choice was Altamont, which has a far less peaceful place in history. At least Jake got a full refund! Somehow!

Fanfic Update!

• BOOM! (Scenes, Brainstorms, and Drabbles Thread), by itslipped (COMPLETE!): "It's a good un' of an explosion. A very likeable sheen of bulging orange that came with a sea of smoke following it."


• A Dye for Help, by Blake C Stacey (BlakeStacey) (COMPLETE!): "Jane had been a bit on edge—untamed, even, Daria would have said—since their trip to the zoo. She'd blown her pizza money at the art supply store and then walled herself off, telling Daria that her new piece wasn't to be seen until complete."


• Give Something New a Try, by elle_stone (part 1): "Running into her ex outside of the art supply store on the first chill afternoon of fall was not among Jane's expectations for the day. But Lawndale is small, and coincidence can be cruel."


• Jonesing For That Sweetness (Scenes, Brainstorms, and Drabbles Thread), by itslipped (COMPLETE!): "Dry throat. Dry mind. It needs the sweetness of that stuff. Gotta get it right down, or else..."


• Pokemon: May's Journey, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 3): "Commander Mars waited near the rift into the Distortion World after Cynthia, the girl from Twinleaf Town, the Hoenn Champion and the Kantonian teen had gone into it."


• Quarterback to the Future, by WildDogJJ (COMPLETE!): "Quinn’s husband, Jim, was in the garage working on a 1982 DeLorien DMC-12. For those who don’t know, that’s the car that was used in the Back to the Future movies." (Part 2) (Part 3)


• Spider Quinn 22 Attractions of Lawndale, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (parts 11 and 12): "Sandi entered at that moment and saw Kevin making a fool of himself. 'That’s enough, Kevin. I was there last night at the Historia. There’s, like, no need for a repeat.'" (Part 12)


• no outside to stand in, by KlondikeSolitare (COMPLETE!): "In a small, dark room, Daria's CRT computer monitor glowed. That light allowed Jane to write in her journal on the bed. This was the apex of their Wednesday night."


• We that Take Purses go by the Moon and the Seven Stars, by Blake C Stacey (BlakeStacey) (COMPLETE!): "'Mayday, mayday! We are under attack by Romulan pirates. This is Jennifer Sh'reyan of the Starfleet science vessel Faraday. I say again, we are under attack by Romu—'"


• You Are My Best Bet, by riotsquirrrl (COMPLETE!): "Jane awoke to the feeling of being cold, despite the layers of blankets wrapped up around her ears. She rolled over and frowned at the emptiness of the bed next to her, illuminated by the orange sodium streetlight seeping in through the blinds."

Quinn With a Gun Is Hair-Raising!

I see that the Fashion Club is already celebrating National Braiders Day, and if Quinn's expression is any indication then you'd better join them before she pulls that trigger. If you need any help you can ask Tad and Tricia Gupty, who perfected their technique on Daria when she was their baby-sitter.

I don't recommend that you try to braid the fur on any feline pets, even if it is International Cat Day. First of all, the braids will make it harder for them to groom themselves. Secondly, trying to braid an unwilling cat will almost undoubtedly lead to grave physical harm to the braider.

On this day 27 years ago, Martin J. Pollard posted the essay "Shipping Out" in response to Daria/Trent (and Jane/Jesse) shipper stories. As the essay was written prior to The Kiss, it's fun to take a peek into the biggest shipper controversy...at the time.

As a fun little tidbit, this marks the DFB2's 4700th post. Do I get a special award?

Once Upon a Time....

Daria is having an enjoyable Campfire Day, or at least she seems to be enjoying herself. I don't know how much everyone listening to her grisly fairy tale is enjoying their time.

If they need to get away from the graphic violence, they could find a higher vantage point by celebrating Mountain Climbing Day. That's if there's a convenient mountain in the area, of course. And assuming they brought the appropriate climbing gear. And let's hope they don't find Mr. O'Neill's underpants acting as a makeshift flag.

Speaking of horror stories, although today is National Girlfriends Day, I hope Tom knows that the plural refers to women who are friends with each other, not an encouragement to date multiple people simultaneously. I would hope that he'd learned his lesson after the last time, but....

Fanfic Update!

• Daria Barksdale, by DrT (COMPLETE!): "Helen dropped into a chair, exhausted. 'Finally,' she said. 'I finally forced Daria into a different room so she would stop teasing Quinn about Santa.'"


• Equestria Hurls, by Erin M (part 4): "Nathan paused as he walked down the street to his car. Something was off. He glanced behind him, unable to shake the feeling he was being followed."


• For Jane, It Was Tuesday, by Blake C Stacey (BlakeStacey) (COMPLETE!): "Since arriving in Lawndale with the feeling that the best thing about it would be the lower level of uranium in the drinking water, Daria has busted out of self-esteem class and left a cheerleader's party with the bounty of a free sock."


• Inter-Quell, by Blake C Stacey (BlakeStacey) (COMPLETE!): "Taiwanese vegan food, with its centuries-long tradition of substitution and mimicry, might be the closest approximation to cyborg food that actually tastes good."


• Just One Question, Really, by Blake C Stacey (BlakeStacey) (COMPLETE!): "Daria is bundled up in her winter coat and smushed down under a woolen cap. After the confines of travel and then the December wind, her hair is on the edge of unkempt."


• Lawndale Makes Strange Bedfellows, by Blake C Stacey (BlakeStacey) (COMPLETE!): "'That boy used to be popular, but then his parents divorced and his dad took the cool car, so he's less popular. Those three boys are on the football team but only JV, so they're medium popular. She is new and cute, so she's going to be popular fast. Those two, ugh, I don't know why they're here, Brittany must be volunteering to provide social skills for the less fortunate...'"


• Pokemon: May's Journey, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 2): "A few hours later, the aircraft descended into Lavender Town. May noticed the somber tone of the town as they circled around the tower before landing in front of it."


• Puella Magi Daria Magica, by Blake C Stacey (BlakeStacey) (COMPLETE!): "'Wait, did you say six times?' An hour ago, the girl behind Daria in Mr. O'Neill's quintessentially useless self-esteem building session had been whispering to her to sit back and ignore the details, and now they're walking together, Daria looking up at dark hair and a face just a bit too angular to be called heart-shaped and extraordinarily blue eyes."


• Spider Quinn 22 Attractions of Lawndale, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (parts 9 and 10): "Dafoanairi reflected on what happened as she and the Enigma stepped into Dega Street from the laneway." (Part 10)


• Strong Teamwork, by Blake C Stacey (BlakeStacey) (COMPLETE!): "'Who am I?' asked the judge, reading from his note card. 'In my youth, I read alchemists like Paracelsus and Albertus Magnus—'"


• This doesn't feel like I'm helping, by Robin_Robinson (COMPLETE!): "Quinn was gorgeous. No doubt about that. Everyone knew it. From the popular to unpopular, from young to old, from enemies to her closest friends, everyone knew that Quinn Morgendorffer was among the cutest at school."


• Women Who Love Vulcan Women, by Blake C Stacey (BlakeStacey) (COMPLETE!): "T'Lyn, eldest daughter of Suvatri and T'Kel, is about to order her room-temperature water from the mess-hall replicator when her padd chirps."


• You Are My Best Bet, by riotsquirrrl (part 6): "Jane had a way of looking at you, Daria thought, as she carefully focused on eating her cake. Clear and sharp, seeing the gestalt of her."