He Wishes He Was an Oscar Mayer Wiener!

Kevin is suited up and ready to celebrate the 90th anniversary of the Oscar Mayer Wienermobile, but I hope he isn't planning to get behind the wheel. After his misadventures on his motorcycle, I shudder to imagine what catastrophe would occur with a full-sized vehicle.

I suppose it would be safer for him to celebrate World Listening Day by singing the jingle instead, although I'm sure it would get old quickly. At least it would be a nice change from "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall!"

I don't think anyone in Lawndale will be observing Perfect Family Day, because every family on the show has more than a few imperfections. It makes life more interesting, and it keeps the laughs coming!

Fanfic Update!

• Balancing Emotions, by Blake C Stacey (BlakeStacey) (COMPLETE!): "'Greetings, Academician,' Jack Ransom says to the Vulcan on his ready-room monitor screen. 'I'm Captain Ransom of the USS Cerritos. We are en route and will be within transporter range in two hours.'"


• Convergence on Lawndale, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 17): "Stacy saw the column in the middle of the console go up and down, but it was the sound of the engines and the shaking of the floor that nearly overwhelmed her. But there was something else she felt, as if someone was trying to reassure her."


• Dozo, Motto Panukeiku, by Blake C Stacey (BlakeStacey) (COMPLETE!): "About two months after they move from bustling Niihama to the former megalopolis of Tokyo, Jane gets a request for a house call."


• Dryer Vent Event, by riotsquirrrl (part 4): "'I told you it was a bad day to go running.' 'I know! I know! I'm not used to all of the ice here.'"


• Dys4ia, by Blake C Stacey (BlakeStacey) (COMPLETE!): "Jane has a moment to get a bad feeling when two blocks of air under the bridge waver with something too geometrical to be heat."


• Equestria Hurls, by Erin M (part 3): "'What do you mean, it wasn’t Equestria?' asked Twilight Sparkle. She passed the magical journal to Rarity and started patting herself down, looking for something."


• Heavenly Wine and Roses, by riotsquirrrl (part 15): "Daria spends the rest of the weekend in her room, mostly staring at her ceiling."


• I Must Be On Another Planet, by DumbLittleProblems (part 7): "Daria sat with her boots up on the dashboard in the passenger seat. Her dwelling feelings of resentment from the distasteful conversation with her counselor did not go untold to Jane Lane on the way up to Lawndale."


• Just One Question, Really, by Blake C Stacey (BlakeStacey) (COMPLETE!): "Daria feels weird walking into a pub in Alphabet City with a bag on her back holding all she'll need for the weekend, but that's just the background radiation of weird that is Daria's life, and she can handle that much by now."


• "Not Unfortunately the Universe is Wild", by Blake C Stacey (BlakeStacey) (COMPLETE!): "They're off the boat in Niihama about thirty-six hours before Daria segfaults in the street."


• Spider Quinn 22 Attractions of Lawndale, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (parts 7 and 8): "'Jane?' O’Neill asked. 'What about you?' 'Being conventional.' 'And how is that going?'" (Part 8)


• Study A Broad, by Bolshevitch (part 4): "As a student, Brittany is surprisingly involved. She raises her hand in class, engages with the professors' questions, and usually even has a couple of her own (even if they’re not always related)."

Swim, You (Not) Cow, Swim!

Although Stacy gets partial credit for celebrating National Swimming Pool Day by being in the general area of a pool, it would probably make more sense to actually enter the pool. Perhaps she's afraid Quinn will start shouting "encouragement" at her the way she did when she was helping Sandi lost weight. Or she just doesn't want to ruin her makeup.

Seeing that it's National Culture and Senior Citizens Day, this would be a good opportunity to visit the Better Days Retirement Home and read to seniors. Just take care with your reading material, as they don't seem to care for "Howl."

At least by visiting them--with or without reading material--you can also observe Cheer up the Lonely Day at the same time. Be sure that the person you're trying to cheer up is actually lonely, though. I'm sure Daria is much happier alone than in the presence of others, so the best way to cheer her up is to keep a safe distance.

Fandom News!

• R.I.P., Bonnie Tyler and Randolph Mantooth.

We're All Mad Here

Stacy is prepared to play a round of croquet in honor of Alice in Wonderland Day, and if you're worried that she'll be intimidated by the Queen of Hearts then let me set your mind at ease. The Queen has nothing on Sandi Griffin, so Stacy should have no problem handling her.

Travis, on the other hand, had better be careful on National Country Music Day. You never know when an angry Daria Morgendorffer will get behind the wheel of a car and decide to prove that she isn't timid.

Finally, happy birthday to the United States of America on this 250th Independence Day! We may be having some rough times right now, but I think we look pretty good for two and a half centuries old.

Fanfic Update!

• Daria's Addition, by Blake C Stacey (BlakeStacey) (COMPLETE!): "Daria Sloane spent her war pushing numbers in the desert. Her days were filled with the soprano chorus of her fellow computers, the private jokes born of long proximity, the incessant ringing of the Marchant calculators in all their ears, as they circulated figures that stood for shock waves and superheated turbulence."


• Jane's Multiplication, by Blake C Stacey (BlakeStacey) (COMPLETE!): "Daria and Jane stand over the empty refrigerator box in the Morgendorffer family's side yard."


• Rescue from Mother-Daughter Bonding Day, by Blake C Stacey (BlakeStacey) (COMPLETE!): "'Hello-o-o?' 'Mrs. Morgendorffer?' The boy on the phone is certainly polite. 'This is Tom, Daria's friend.'"


• Roses and Reds, by Blake C Stacey (BlakeStacey) (COMPLETE!): "Trent was a great putterer, around the house and in the garden. It often fell to Jane to finish projects, like getting the trestles up, but he tended the tomatoes and the orange trees, the roses and the rosemary."


• Sirius Black and the Gray Man (Daria Ravenclaw: Loose Snippets), by Meester_Lee (COMPLETE!): "Seances and speaking with the dead were not practices Sirius Black did very often. The dead were—dead—and most of the people he remembered from his childhood, from Hogwarts, and during his brief time as an Auror trainee he didn’t really care for."


• Spider Quinn 22 Attractions of Lawndale, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (parts 5 and 6): "Brittany was doing her homework, going over a problem she and Daria had talked about at the tutoring session, when she heard an email notification on her laptop." (Part 6)


• Study A Broad, by Bolshevitch (part 3): "She wakes up with a blinding sunbeam in her face. Vampiric instincts throw her scrambling out of bed before she notices yet another sticky note above her, but still no roommate."


• Three Points Determine a Plane, by Blake C Stacey (BlakeStacey) (COMPLETE!): "The T car squealed and screeched. Jane figured they did that even while standing still, just to keep in practice."


• What If the Town Blew Away, by Blake C Stacey (BlakeStacey) (COMPLETE!): "September 1945. Los Alamos, New Mexico. 'Is that an Army phrasebook for Japanese?'"