An Interview with the Cynic

The "Insider" column "Daria on Fame, Fortune and Film" appeared on this day in 2000, shortly before the premiere of Is It Fall Yet? In it, Daria discussed her life, her goals, and her love of yo-yo tricks. Check out the transcript of the article on the Outpost Daria page, although the link to the article itself is broken.

Fanfic Update!

• The Author as a Lesbian, by DeacBlue (parts 2 - 4): "'Daria Morgendorffer,' Daria said, suddenly very aware that Jane had wrapped their arms together. 'Okay, and you? What's your name?' The guard asked Jane. 'I'm Tiffany, but I don't know if I'll be on there. I'm Daria's date!' Jane said brightly, laying her head on Daria's shoulder. 'She didn't ask me until this afternoon. Isn't that right, sugarplum?'" (Part 3) (Part 4)


• Big Brother (Scenes That Should Be: Breakfast of Zombie Champions), by breitasparrow (COMPLETE!): "'Still the Tom thing, huh?' He reached down and wiped her cheek dry with the back of his hand. Jane sat up in her bed and crossed her legs, then grabbed the pillow and held it against her before looking her brother in the eye. 'He said we should have just broken up, as if I felt the same way... I-I didn't want to, though. But it's too late... I already know how he feels. It doesn't matter what I say.' She dropped her head back into the pillow in her lap and began to cry again. Trent placed a hand on her shoulder and waited patiently for her to lift her head and speak again."


• Chatting with God on the Bus (Iron Chef: Radio Music), by Pumpkin Panic (part 1): "'Do I know you?' the green jacketed girl asked lowering her book slightly. 'I'd like to think you know me a bit, though you've been trying awfully hard not to for the past few years.' She tucked one of her wild curls behind her ear and continued, 'My name is El, Or Yaweh, Ishvah, Akal Purahk, Akambe, Basoga, Shiva, Manitou, Alpha and Omega-' 'Ah so you're insane.'"


• Daria is Raven's Apprentice, by project pegasus: "Cyborg: I'm sorry, but I'm out. I'll take you to Rome, but I won't be a party to the mission. You can call me if things get hairy, if the Darkwater goons come after you, or if Robin is the killer and he fights back, but you'll have to present me with more evidence before I act as though the captain of our team is a murderer. Raven: Fair enough."


• Daria, or the Confession of a Single Lonely Male, by Arena del Sur: "I would be a liar to say that the shock of losing Daria cured me of deviation. My accursed nature could not change, no matter how my love for her did. On playgrounds and beaches, my sad and stealthy eyes, against my will, still sought out the flash of a wolphet's limbs, the sly tokens of Daria's handmaids and rosegirls. But one essential vision in me had withered: never did I dwell now on possibilities of bliss with a little maiden, specific or synthetic, in some out-of-the-way place; never did my fancy sink its fangs into Daria's sisters, far far away, in the coves of evoked islands."


• Dawn of a New Day (Iron Chef: TAKE OUT TRENT LANE!), by DeacBlue (COMPLETE!): "'Y-you aren't going to hurt me, are you?' she stuttered, falling to her knees. He walked up to her and caressed her cheek. 'Not if you're a good girl...' He was going to reach into her dress when his hand was slapped away, hard. He took a moment to shake his hand and look at it, and by then, the girl was standing up and in his face. 'Not hardly.'"


• Discovery of the Verdean Portal (Interstellar Portals - A worldbuilding scenario), by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 1): "The Portuguese ship stood off near the strange formation in the ocean, that they had just discovered. The captain of the ship was wondering whether to take the ship into the strange formation, that contained similarities to a whirlpool miles across. Except that part of the island nearby also extended down into the formation. 'What do you think Captain? Should we take the ship in?' the first mate asked."


• The Firing of Upchuck (Iron Chef: Kevin or Upchuck is shot out of a cannon), by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (COMPLETE!): "Aragorn and Gimli carried the squirming Upchuck to the cannon. 'You can't do this to me!' he said. 'You deserve it!' the Dwarf said."


• God Save The Esteem Ep34: Tom's Addition, by Charles RB (parts 1 and 2): "As the music vomited on, Tom made a surprise appearance, waving at the girls. Following him was a blond girl with piercing ice-coloured eyes and the clothes of a rich person who's trying to look not-rich but has only seen such people in books. 'Hey! Astrid, this is my girlfriend Daria and my friend Jane; Daria, this is the Honourable Astrid Magnus, from Fielding. I don't have to say "Honourable" each time I introduce her but it makes me feel all important and connected.'" (Part 2)


• God Save the S Team, by Smijey (COMPLETE!): "Jake 'Hannibal' Morgendorffer floored the accelerator on the van as he drove towards Lawndale High. 'Girls, I just want you to know your mother and I realize it's not easy moving to a whole new town -- especially for you, D.A., right?' Daria Anne 'D.A.' Morgendorffer shifted uncomfortably under the weight of her many gold chains. 'Did we move...sucka?' she asked in a hesitantly gravelly voice."


• Is It Ours Yet?, by RX-87 (part 4): "Back on the ground, Daria and company barely noticed the fighter jets soaring overhead, engrossed as they were by the sight of the black monster. Stacy looked up, her mouth gaping in horror. 'W-what? What the...?' 'Is that the giant robot he was talking about?' Mack wondered aloud, his face showing steely determination, 'Or one of the monsters?'"


• Lawndale and Sandi Griffin's Genie (Chapter 5), by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 3): "Jake Morgendorffer was bored, he had finished his latest proposal for one of his clients an hour before, and was playing two deck Solitaire. Then the news about the tornado came onto the radio. 'Gaaggghh, Tornado! Here? But Lawndale is nowhere near Tornado Alley!' He ran to the window and looked out. He saw the funnel in the distance. He then went to the phone and dialled his wife's cell number."


• A New World, by breitasparrow (part 1): "'Are you alright?' Tom asked, snapping Jane back into reality. 'Uh... you wanna go with me to my dorm and help with my stuff?' As soon as the words left her mouth, she almost regretted saying them. Her face heated up - could he see her blushing? She couldn't remember the last time she felt so stupid and nervous."


• Quinn's Code 03: Cafe Geekdale, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 8): "At the Lane house, Daria was playing the song for Jane in the basement. She had plugged her guitar into Mystik Spiral's equipment. Trent came down the stairs, curious about the unfamiliar song which was coming up from the basement. Daria suddenly noticed that Trent was there and fumbled with the guitar, dropping it into a nearby pile of clothes."


• Rude Awakening Ep.8: Three Yards and a Cloud of Dust, by DIsaac (part 7): "DANI: We aren't doing anything that could be construed as destructive or dangerous. STACY: You mean we AREN'T doing anything at a station party? DANI: Yep. STACY: We must be losing our game."


• Save the Last Trance for Me, by jtranser: "'I remember the thing about whom the Gods would destroy, they first make mad.' 'No, Daria, not quite. You see, the Gods are perfectly comfortable with madness and are very protective of those Gods and mortals who practice it on a regular basis. It's the self-hating mad people that are the problem, especially those that are aware of their lunacy and don't want to be lunatics.'"


• Settling Into A New Life, by RLobinske (part 9): "Daria felt more at ease than she had for a long time. I have what you could almost calla dream job. I like my new home. I have good friends and good family. The only thing keeping things from being perfect is that I have a good husband – who is too far away. I can't wait for him to be done and finally get to join me down here."


• Shadows of a Timeless Song, by Dennis (part 8): "Before Daria could answer, the subject of their conversation burst into the room, bushy hair flying. 'Daria,' she said, 'take a look at this. I told you I'm right about Badon Hill and this proves it!' 'I think that's my cue to do a magic trick of my own,' Jane said, and slipped out of the room. Sighing, Daria took the book. Bound in leather with ornate gilding, it was another of the hefty tomes, Hermione seemed to favor. 'What am I supposed to be looking it?' 'Last page,' Hermione said, breathless."


• Trennt and Odell's Excellent Adventure (Iron Chef: TAKE OUT TRENT LANE!), by Smijey (COMPLETE!): "Odell smirked. 'Trennt, you fool. Don't you know the rules about Evil Parallel Universes?'"


• Unexpected Packages, by J-D (COMPLETE!): He was walking past the park, on the way to where he'd parked his car, and he could see somebody seated on one of the benches, but obviously not looking at him. The figure on the bench was too preoccupied with his drinking to pay any attention to anybody else's misery. Chuck looked again. It wasn't just 'somebody' on the bench.""


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Daria and Quinn, Best Friends), by Ardneh (COMPLETE!): "Just as they reached the exit, Daria jumped when she felt someone tapping her shoulder. 'Daria, don't leave me here,' Quinn pleaded. 'I know you and Aunt Amy are bailing. Please, let me come with you. I can't take any more of this.' Daria looked Amy, who shrugged her shoulders. 'Sure, sis. This place isn't for the faint of heart,' Daria said as she watched the mayhem spread across the room."


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Daria Dating Service), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "'Hello! My name is Brittany, and I'm looking for a guy....'"


• Unnamed story (Iron Daria ... Man), by Grifter74: "A synthesized voice answered almost immediately, 'Hello, Ms. Morgendorffer. How may I help you?' 'Hi, Jarvis. Please connected me to Mr. Stark.' Daria said."


• Unnamed story (Scenes That Should Be: Breakfast of Zombie Champions), by Silver (COMPLETE!): "'I can't be certain, but my math was off.' Jodie sighed, turning around. Even with the rumble of the Better-Than-Light Drive, this were almost eerily silent. 'It would seem we've accidentally destroyed the universe.'"