Do Potatoes Have Low Self-Esteem?

Today is National Potato Day, so Mr. O'Neill is doing his part to celebrate. Today also happens to be National Aviation Day, and if you combined the two holidays I suppose you'd get flying potatoes. Perhaps a potato gun is in order? If Mr. O'Neill is involved, I'm all for it.

Also, happy birthday to both Gene Roddenberry and Bill Clinton, born on this day in 1921 and 1946, respectively. One gave us Star Trek and the other gave us never-ending cigar jokes. Good times all around.

Fanfic Update!

• The Author as a Lesbian, by DeacBlue (part 1): "Daria walked out into the hallway and gently closed the door to Mrs. Manson's office behind her. Smooth, Morgendorffer. Just because she mispronounced your name - twice - you get into a battle that you can't win with someone that might actually start Mom and Dad thinking and digging."


• Boxing Ms. Morgendorffer, by Chris Tucker (part 9): "As Jane got off the train at South Station, she was not the least bit surprised to see Daria standing on the platform, grinning broadly, at the reality of seeing her best friend in person after more than half a year. The two embraced and hugged for a while. 'I'll let Daria decide when to let go. She needs this far more than I.' Indeed, Daria broke the embrace a few moments later. Knowing her friend's moods all too well, Jane held out the wad of paper napkins she'd grabbed in the cafe car of the train."


• Common Enemy: A Daria/Babylon 5/Command and Conquer - Crossover (Crossovers Still Crossing Over), by Wassersauefer (parts 1 - 3): "The whole space station shuddered under the impact of yet more enemy fire and the lights flickered, but none of this mattered to Lieutenant Lane, who was busy fighting for her very life. She snarled and lunged at her enemy, the former shooting match had long since been degraded into an all out brawl. Kevlar-armanit-armor against battle pikes, crystal-armor against combat knifes, blue against black, Minbari against Humans." (Part 2) (Part 3)


• The Consequence of Guilt (Iron Chef: Daria on glitterberries), by OverlordMikey (COMPLETE!): "It had been an accident; it was supposed to be a prank. She got the guys to get her the berries, but didn’t tell them anything more. She then tricked Daria into consuming them. She thought it’d be funny, but then Daria tried to fly - tried to fly off the school roof that is."


• Courier and Ives and Ashtrays, by Lord Yellowtail (COMPLETE!): "With some effort, she willed herself to think of happier times, when her father had been at his most sober and most affectionate. It had always been when he pulled himself together enough to work on the bike, and led her into their old, rundown barn and taught her everything he knew about how to fix it up and make it run like new. Still, he spent ninety percent of his conscious hours in a drunken stupor."


• Daria, or the Confession of a Single Lonely Male, by Arena del Sur: "Da crawled out and shivered a little: the evening air was decidedly crisp. Upon entering the cabin, she lay down on a bed, buried her face in the crook of her arm and said she felt awful. Then I look and discover with outrageous horror that her face and neck was covered with a bright, red rash. Daria ill. Daria dying. Her skin was scalding hot!"


• Given Up (Iron Chef: Radio Music), by LadieT (COMPLETE!): "Daria stared up at the ceiling, her face drenched in sweat. It was almost midnight and she had just awoken from another nightmare. Ever since she had kissed Tom and destroyed her friendship with Jane in the process, she couldn't get an entire night's sleep. Shame still haunted her."


• Last Friday Night (Iron Chef: Radio Music), by Wassersauefer (COMPLETE!): "At 14 pm the Griffins left their house and drove their two sons to a friend where they were spending the weekend. At 15 pm the Fashion-Club arrived to coordinate their outfits and makeup and all that stuff. Five hours later they and the house was ready for the first partygoers. At 22 pm pandemonium was ruling the household and total chaos was master of all. Sandi had long given up and –"


• Mad Dog's Legacy Chapter 10: Rock On, by Hyrin (part 5): "'I understand that I upset you and Jane today, and I’m sorry. I just...I want us to be a family again.' 'Were we ever a family to start with?' Trent asked, forcing his voice to stay neutral. 'I can’t think of a time that you and mom were home for more than a month at a time, and Wind, Summer and Penny all skipped out as soon as they got the chance.'"


• Oh Well (Iron Chef: Daria on glitterberries), by LadieT (COMPLETE!): "Quinn looked at her cellphone. It had almost been two hours since she made Daria the chocolate glitterberry milkshake. She couldn't wait to go into her sister's room to take pictures of Daria bouncing off her padded walls. The only trouble was she hadn't heard any noise coming from the room."


• Payback! (Iron Chef: Daria on glitterberries), by DIsaac (COMPLETE!): "'How did I get here?' 'You remember that camping trip?' 'Please for the love of god don't say-' 'I gave some glitterberries yesterday. I snuck it in your firecracker chicken at Good Time Chinese restaurant.'"


• Save the Last Trance for Me, by jtranser: "Jane said: 'One of the everyday things You have to do as a God is display Your command of languages.' 'I can do that!' 'In your case, Sandi, it'll be better if you keep quiet...' Angered, Sandi replied: 'Just because I'm not a God, you make it sound like I'm stupid!!!' 'Daria, You didn't tell her?' 'No, but I did check out her voice sample against the Stupidity Spectrum...' 'And?' 'Let's just say, the graphs don't lie...'"


• Settling Into A New Life, by RLobinske (part 8): "Karen said, 'We're not going to let you go without at least having some fun tonight.' 'I'm still working on that whole "fun" thing,' Daria replied. CC grinned. 'Don't worry. We're professionals.' 'That's what I'm afraid of.'"


• Snark of the Swarm (Crossovers Still Crossing Over), by Yogi (COMPLETE!): "However, it appeared that Jane was too late. The surface of the cocoon was already rippling and heaving, a clear indication that whatever monstrosity it contained would soon be hatched. Taking stock of the surrounding area, Jane had just started to plan the push towards the cocoon when the thing began twitching. With a final convulsive shudder, it didn’t so much as crack open as collapse, sloughing off in wet chunks as the figure it was protecting stepped out. It wasn’t Daria."


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Daria on glitterberries), by RX-87 (COMPLETE!): "The Self-Transforming Machine Elf gave an irritating, smug metallic giggle as the golden horns on its forehead folded together and it pulled its gigantic alabaster cranium into a shiny blue torso that never should have been capable of accommodating it, while simultaneously pulling its arms inward, reversing its knees, unfolding its tail and spreading its shimmering red and black wings to fly away."


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: If I Forget You: Daria's Turn), by LadieT (COMPLETE!): "Jodie led her into the bathroom. 'Daria and Mr. DeMartino were working at Mr. O'Neill's "Ok to Cry Corral" for the summer. Right before the Fourth of July, they were taking a bus load of campers for a hike when the driver lost control and they careened off the side of the mountain. When Daria didn't come home that night, Mrs. Morgendorffer called the police. After a two-day search, the wreckage was found. The only person who survived was Daria, who had been trapped on the bus with two broken legs and a very bad head injury.'"


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef - Jodie the Inventor), by Chris Tucker: "She nudged Josephine. 'Git over to the radar station, something's up with Link. Scoot!' 'I'm there 5 minutes ago!' She replied. She unplugged her headset and trotted for the door. 'Link, Josephine is headin' over to th' radar shack. What's goin' on? Over' 'Foo fighters. Over.' 'Shit. Over.'"


• Unnamed Story (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: Last Friday Night!), by DigiSim: "'I can't breathe, Mother. I can't breathe!'" (Continued by Ixmythot) (Continued by Smijey)


• Wings (Iron Chef: Daria on glitterberries), by respite (COMPLETE!): "Daria took a sip of the smoothie on her way to Jane's, and noticed that she felt somewhat more awake. 'Hm. Must have some of those slimming amphetamines in the mix,' she thought, and paid the sensation little mind. Jane was ready to go when Daria arrived, and the two headed off to Lawndale High together as Daria took a healthy slug."


• You Shouldn't Kiss Me Like This (Iron Chef: Radio Music), by Hyrin (COMPLETE!): "Jane smiled to herself. The night had gone much better than she had anticipated it would. Meeting Tom at the Zon had been a stroke of luck, and even if Daria had left the club before they got back from getting dinner, Mystik Spiral's second set had been tolerable enough (especially since Jane hadn't really listened to any of it)."