No, Brittany, That's Not How Perspective Works, Either

Either Brittany is trying out a weird new cheerleading move or she's gotten a little too into Absurdity Day. She really needn't try so hard, though. Daria can confirm that any time spent conversing with Brittany feels like an exercise in absurdity.

This is also Universal Children's Day, but don't expect Daria to celebrate. Remember: "Forget it. I don't like kids. I didn't even like kids when I was a kid."

Fanfic Update!

• Back to Highland: A Daria/Worm Crossover, by Meester_Lee (part 7): "Daria got permission to call home and tell her parents that she was still all right. She decided she'd use one of the auditorium building's side rooms if there was one unlocked and available. She'd call Dad; Mom was likely to be tied up conferring with clients, other lawyers, or tied up in court."


• Cold Heart Attack (Life After Thirty), by WildDogJJ (part 1): "A large group was assembled in the ballroom. The estate of the late Mad Cow Killer was recently auctioned off. The home and Dyson Beef were both now under new management. The new owner has just moved in to the house and this is his house warming party. The newest resident appears at the top of the dual stairs to welcome everyone. It's Jim's uncle, Vito Carbone."


• Daria Ravenclaw: The Year of the Owl, by Meester_Lee (parts 17 and 18): "Jake flinched. He then placed his hands on the arm rests of his seat and took two deep breaths. 'Hi—Ed,' he said." (Part 18)


• Doctor Who – An Ordinary Wednesday, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 1): "'Miss Oswald,' Angie began. Miss Oswald interrupted her. 'I have said that you can call me Clara.'"


• Edicius, by elainefr (part 17): "'I've gotten my applications filled out and sent in.' Daria answered Tom's reclining position."


• The lattest shitty fanfic in the sences no daria fanfic should have thread (Scenes No Daria fanfic should have: The Saga Goes On), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "'So like, my sister is a snarky bitch who thinks she has all the answers. It's why I prefer to pretend that she's my cousin, distant cousin, who has no fashion sense and is living with us because her parents biffed it in a car crash.'"


• Scenes, by JPAGC (part 4.2): "After exiting the elevator at the correct floor, Daria and Jane proceeded along the white corridors. Jane followed her friend, who navigated along the corridors without hesitation, passing obvious fellow visitors without stopping."


• Shameless Self Insert Into Daria, by James the Lesser (part 6): "Daria, Jane, Adrian, and Andrea are in her room. 'Daria, this has got to be the coolest room.' Andrea pokes at the padding. 'I'm jealous.'"