Extra, Extra!

I hope Jake remembered to thank the person who delivered his morning newspaper for Newspaper Carrier Day, because without a newspaper carrier Jake wouldn't be able to read the news...which stresses him out...and puts strain on his heart...and potentially shortens his lifespan. Hmm. Maybe we should see if the newspaper carrier would be willing to skip the Morgendorffer house, at least occasionally.

Instead of freaking out about the news, Jake could have a nice snack for National Macadamia Nut Day, even though he prefers cashews. Daria knows where he can buy nuts by the bunch, and if she doesn't smile then the nuts are free!

On this day in 1997, Daria and Jane made a (very) brief cameo on the MTV Video Music Awards. And when I say "brief," I mean don't even blink.

Fandom News!

• Vote in the poll: Is Helen a bad mother?

Extra, Extra!

Daria seems pretty grateful for International Newspaper Carrier Day, because without it how would she get her newspaper without having to leave her own house? Just imagine the horror of it!

Today is also It's My Party Day, and if you think Daria's going to celebrate this one, then you are definitely new to this fandom. Go check with Brittany; her parents might be out of town again.

Fandom News!

• How does Daria benefit from being a cartoon? Share your thoughts in the thread.


• Rest in Peace, Johnny Nash and Joe Bruno.


• Play a new game: I heard it on a TV show.

Juggling Jodies and Crazy Columnists

Jodie's taking a break from her usual juggling act to try a slightly easier workload for International Juggler's Day. She looks much more relaxed this way, doesn't she?

Today is also Newspaper Columnists Day, and I recommend writing to the "Dear Brittany" column of the Lawndale Lowdown with any problems you need solving. I mean, you won't get any actual solutions, but it'll be entertaining! I'd suggest reading Future Daria's newspaper column instead, but that's a bad idea. Not only would you get outraged but, being part of a fantasy sequence, it doesn't exist.

Fanfic Update!

• David M., by ST91 (part 9): "'Come in.' David said when he heard a knock on the door. 'Hi David, do,' John began to say before David interrupted him with a dry, 'Go away!'"


• Dirty Little Secret (Life After Thirty), by WildDogJJ (part 1): "The garage is open. Jim is working on a car with a blonde man in his late twenties. Naturally, he's filming this for his YouTube channel. They finish and Jim takes the camera off of the tripod. He holds it up in front of himself and the blonde man who's helping him."


• Nothing Else Matters, by YouthofOz (parts 18 - 22): "Afternoon, all! Yes, it's me and my compatriots again - we were so disappointed by the Game of Thrones finale we took a wrong turn through causality and ended up in a reality where Jane Ianuzzo had butchered half of Baltimore but she did with such a happy smile." (Part 19) (Part 20) (Part 21) (Part 22)


• The South Wall Cornerclub (Outlander Vignettes), by welltemperedclavier (COMPLETE!): "'Just watch your pockets," Jane warned. "There are a lot of greedy hands here.' Daria's right hand closed around the five copper drakes in her pockets as Jane ushered through the doorway of the South Wall Cornerclub."


• Thrill of the Fall, by atiyatortilla (part 1): "Penn Station was bustling with people, residents and excited tourists alike, and Tom Sloane was one of many. He fit into the former category, though he was Jersey born and bred."


• Unnamed story (IC: Apartment Life), by welltemperedclavier (COMPLETE!): "Quinn was just settling down with the new issue of Waif magazine when she heard the footsteps in the unit above. One-two-three-four pause, one-two-three-four pause. Quick short steps, the kind made with a rigid gait, done when you just have to do something other than stand still."

Gosh, She Sure Looks Content Out Here, Doesn't She?

I think Ms. Barch has taken National Wildlife Day further than necessary, but since that appears to be a female deer I guess she'll be okay. I'm not sure I really want to celebrate this one, being much more of an "indoors" type person, but I suspect Mr. DeMartino has already left on another hike.

Today is also Newspaper Carrier Day, and if you think that doesn't have any connection to Daria then let me remind you of one thing: without newspaper delivery, what would Daria and Jake have silently bonded over at the dinner table? So there.

Fandom News!

• Talk about the "outrage" over First Man in the Are you #@&*%^% kidding me? thread.


• Vote in the Deadliest Warrior poll between Odo and Maya.

You Could Read the Newspaper Outside, I Guess

If Jake isn't appreciating Newspaper Carrier Day today, then he should be. After all, how else would he have gotten that newspaper that so helpfully allows him to tune out the rest of the world?

I would suggest that he celebrate National Wildlife Day instead, but somehow Jake and the outdoors never seem to mix well.

Fandom News!

• Talk about the hurricanes that almost hit Hawaii.


• Discuss your favorite first-person shooters and other games.


• Rémi posted a new Iron Chef in Creative Writing: Jane doesn't forgive Daria.

All I Know Is What I Read in the Papers

Humorist Will Rogers is the source of the title quote for this day. (The full quote, actually, is: All I know is just what I read in the papers, and that's an alibi for my ignorance.) The Wall Street Journal came into being exactly 121 years ago today. In addition, Daria's Sick, Sad Life Planner marks today as important in another newsy way (see at upper right). I bet her tushie was sore when she was done. There seems to be some disagreement on whether she ended her ride on the 8th or the 13th.

N0oOZ!

• Speaking of news, if you are a fan of LOGO TV, some episodes of Daria are being run there today. Check the link for the schedule.
• Lord Akiyama has presented the fandom with a new artwork: Mustang Ridin'!
  

Stay tooned.... for fanfic. (Not yet done with the whole list. There were too many new ones!)

LATER: Okay, now I'm done... for a while.

FF.net

• The InDark, by Mediancat (Parts 23 and 24): "Stop the car as soon as you can," Daria said to Jane while gritting her teeth. "What?" Jane asked. "Next exit. Pull off. Park as soon as you can." "Dream?" "Dream." "Pulling off," Jane said. She was in the lead, so Oz, driving the van behind them, would follow them off. They'd planned for this to happen. "You going to be okay, amiga?" (Daria/ Buffy the Vampire Slayer/ Angel/ Dick Tracy)
  

PPMB

• The Continuing Adventures of an ANGRY!!! Young Man, by Charles RB (Parts 1 and 2): There was a war on. They called it a game but that was hippie bullcrap. This was a war. Years at that damn military school had taught him about war and the importance of overwhelming force, pre-emptive strikes, saturation assaults. There was an enemy. They had to be destroyed. DESTROY THEM AAAALL! With a roar akin to Godzilla hearing someone insult his mum, Anthony roared down the pitch and hit the Oakwood quarterback with bone-shattering force. I was not exaggerating about “bone-shattering force.” The quarterback was replaced with a terrified, second-rate substitute, and Anthony DeMartino was cheered once more as the greatest linebacker Lawndale High had ever had. (Part 2)
• Daria and Trent Forever, by Malakite (Parts 1 and 2): Daria rolled over to look at Trent's peaceful sleeping face. She could easily stare at that heavenly visage for hours on end, and what's more Trent could sleep through those hours without inconveniently waking up to catch her. Not that she'd really mind if he did. She decided that just now she'd like to be caught, so she reached over to the appropriate part of her lover's anatomy and began gently tickling. Her lips twisted into an eager little smile as Trent slowly began to stir. Across town, at the Boston Fine Arts College, Tom Sloane, a student from good old Bromwell University,heir to a fabulous fortune, and all round nice guy found himself once again helping Jane Lane move into a dormitory. On the last occasion he'd had to do this, he was quite surprised, even shocked by Jane's behavior, although the experience hadn't been at all unpleasant.
  
• Daria/Dorian, by LadieT (continued): Dorian's first few days back were a stressful nightmare but as the week ended, he seemed to be settling back into a normal routine. His mood was greatly improved over that weekend by his parents and Jane. On Saturday, Jake took him computer and television shopping. This was followed by a bad movie marathon at Jane's house all day Sunday. Even with Helen calling every couple of hours, it was the first time since the change that Dorian felt relaxed. The two exchanged witty banter while watching some of the worst films ever put on video. Trent even joined them for one movie before heading to the basement for practice. Dorian left around ten thirty, shortly after Jane had fallen asleep leaning against him.
• Finn Morgendorffer 52: With Extra Bitters, by HolyGrail2007 (Parts 2 to 4): “Are you sure I can’t have just an eensy...” Jake started as he pulled up to Winged Tree. “No!” Helen insisted from the passenger side as she looked in the mirror to check her makeup. “We are going to be gracious, engaging guests.” “But I can do that better if I’ve had...” “No!” Helen stated firmly. The gate guard gave them no hassle once he learned their names, and Jake steered the Lexus into a great parking space. “I’m glad Finn helped you with your suit. The last thing we need is to have your collar crooked.” “Dammit, Helen, I can dress myself!” Jake insisted. “Be on your best behavior, Jakey. If we impress the Sloanes, they’ll ask us back for another gala. And it can turn into the business you want.” (Part 3) (Part 4)
  
• First Born, by RLobinske (Part 3): Jane pulled into the spot and saw a small sign that read, Reserved for Dr. Karen Adler, DVM. "Now we know why you went to school all those years," Jane said. "Reserved parking." Sitting behind Karen, Derek said, "And she doesn't even have to pay for it. Unlike me." "Sucks being undereducated, doesn't it?" said Jane. Derek patted his chest, puffed it out and said, "With three Doctors in the car, someone has to be the Master."
• Into the Fray, by Minx (Part 13): Me and my big fat stupid mouth… I wish I could go back and tell myself not to mention the roadhouse to the rest of the group. Unfortunately I can’t and that is why we found ourselves crouched in the bushes staring out at a huge truck stop that was planted on the main highway. We spent most of the day there, watching a stream of trucks going in and out and trying to find ways to attack. Daria had realized that as it got later and the sun began to lose its heat, the troop carriers began to stop longer. The soldiers seemed to be less alert, less jumpy and they spent more time inside the diner. As night fell we decided to stay, I should have known right then that there was no backing out. I knew the boys had something planned and I now had no choice but to agree with it. I had the feeling that both Daria and Jane were starting to agree with the boys, I could tell by the way their eyes lit up when Trent and Jesse would come up with different ways to attack. (FF.net)
  
• Judith Strikes! Community Service, by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "All I did was meet a girl I thought was cool and I went out with her for a while. We started to get bored with each other. It happens all the time. It's nobody's fault." "Oh yeah? Would you still be bored with her if I weren't around?" "Probably. And more to the point, she'd be bored with me. It's got nothing to do with you." "Good. Because I'm not interested in you, and I'd be stabbing my friend in the back if I even considered it." "Exactly. And what kind of a jerk would that make me?" "Exactly." "All right then." "Okay." "Dammit! Dammit, dammit, dammit!" "I liked it, too." "That was definitely not funny." "I gotta go!" "You got that right."
• Judith Strikes! The Light of a Burning Darkness, by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): Lawndale was full of raw-throated, frightened screaming, and the streets and gardens were clogged with crashed cars and corpses; in the distance, the neighbouring city glowed with a thousand fires; somewhere, an air-raid was sounding and dull explosions could be heard. Judith didn’t notice that for a minute. She noticed that the sun was black.
  
• Judith Strikes! Mack Dynamite vs. the Crimson Phantom, by Erin M. (Part 1): Mack Dynamite pulled his silver Cadillac El Dorado up to the curb in front of the 23rd Precinct, made sure his Afro was still in place, then leaped out of the drivers seat, gold lame bellbottoms flashing in the afternoon sun. He straightened the lapels of his brown courderoy jacket, smoothed his mustache and strutted his way into the station. Captain DeMartino was downing his customary handful of antacid tablets when Mack Dynamite strolled into his office, threw himself into a chair, and put his custom Italian Beatle boots up on the desk. "What it is, Chief!" Mack Dynamite said by way of greeting, flashing the million dollar smile that had charmed many a man into being his friend, and had also charmed many a fine foxy lady out of her unmentionables. Too bad DeMartino was too much of a crusty bastard for it to work on him.
• Life, But Not As You Know It, by Phoenix (Part 1): Elsie felt her body quake from the amount of fury that Madison had conjured with-in her. She left the group and made a bee-line for the powder room, but not before making a detour to the coat-room to retrieve her purse. As she entered the strangely unattended room, she heard moans of lust coming from the back corner. Curious, she walked toward the sounds and she found her father with a woman who was barely out of puberty in a hot and heavy make out session. Upon her discovery she merely raised an eyebrow, “Trading up I see?” she said in a flat, monotonous tone. Her father froze and began a series of stuttered throaty sounds before Elsie cut him off with a limp flick of her wrist, “Hey, I understand. There’s only so much Dr. Shar can do before Mom looks like a wax reject from Tussaud's, it makes sense to trade her in for a newer model."
  
• The Other Side of Time: Unfinished Business, by The Sidhe (continued): The Morgendorffer residence was a hive of activity this morning. Helen, Jake and Quinn were making final preparations for the drive down to Mount Folly, as were Tom and Elsie Sloane. They had finally accepted Richard’s invitation to spend some time in the old Georgian-era plantation house, with Elsie even having come out of her fugue state enough to help Tom pack his silver Aston-Martin. As Richard had suspected, the act of being able to finally say farewell to their dead parents had managed to kick-start the long, slow process of healing, and he believed that some time away from Lawndale on the James-York peninsular, with an occasional side-trip into Richmond, would be of great benefit to the two younger Sloanes.
• Politricks are Not for Kids, by Brian Taylor (continued): "'In our culture, we have the expectation that we'll find familiar patterns in our leaders' decisions. We expect our male mandarins to place a premium on action over discussion, and our women rajas to sit around and talk through all the available options before making a move. What sort of leader is our Tom Sloane? With his every effeminate word, he slows himself to be a leaky vessel who can't stop running his mouth off in public about his policies although he never actually acts upon them.' How am I supposed to respond to shit like that?" (moar story)
  
• Raft College: The First Year, by rglovejoy (Part 14): "He's not exactly antisocial. Sam's really very nice, but he doesn't understand people too well, so he avoids them as much as possible. He doesn't have a lot of friends, but he is very close to a few people. I think that I'm one of the few people over the years that he's reached out to. There's nothing mean or sarcastic about him, so sometimes I wonder why he likes me. We talked about some of that stuff a little bit before we went out for breakfast, and-" "Wait, you two went out for dinner last night, and then this morning you went out for breakfast..." Jane paused in mid-sentence, then let out a delighted squeal. "Daria!" A low groan came out of Daria's mouth. "Jane, get your mind out of the gutter. Look, I spent the night here in his room, but I didn't sleep with him. I fell asleep while we were watching a movie and he put me in his bed and then he spent the night on the floor. He was a complete gentleman." "Oh." Jane sounded disappointed.
• Sleepwalker, by Jim North (continued): Sleep eluded Stacy once more as she was brought fully awake by the sound of a girl screaming. At first she thought it had just been part of a half-dream that had been forming as she had been drifting off, but the scream came again with the full clarity of reality behind it. It was somewhere outside and somewhat distant, but unmistakable. None of the other girls in the room stirred at the noise, so Stacy quietly slipped out of bed and padded over to the window in her stocking feet. Once there, she slowly parted the curtains and peered out into the night to see nothing but the empty parking lot. The screams continued and Stacy was about to dismiss them as the sounds of a TV in one of the other rooms turned up too loud when she suddenly recognized the squeaky voice strained by fear and pain as Brittany's.
• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Daria and Jane pregnant at the same time), by NightGoblyn (COMPLETE!): "So... um... you wanna go out some time?" Jane looked at the young man a moment, then glanced around the mostly empty campus. It was early evening and there were very few students milling around, but she didn't want to be overheard by the few that were. She reached out and grabbed his sleeve and tugged him off the concrete path and across the grass to a big oak tree. She turned and looked up at him, moistening her lips nervously. "Is there a... should I have not... I didn't make you mad, did I?" "No, no," Jane said, trying to smile encouragingly. "I'd love to go out with you, but there's a couple of things you need to know first. I don't want you to find out by surprise and be freaked out." "Um... okay." "I've got a kid."
  

A Good Day for Reading the News

Why is Daria smiling? She is celebrating World Press Freedom Day by reading a newspaper, which I guess means she's way out of touch with things because everyone else is reading the Internet. Thank UNESCO, of course, for the tribute to the day.

Exactly 71 years ago today, Gone with the Wind won the Pulitzer Prize for Fiction. The author, Margaret Mitchell, spent years researching the book, which was the only one she ever wrote. I saw the movie and still love watching Atlanta burn. Not because I don't like Atlanta, but because it's just cool to watch. Quinn and Daria must have liked watching it, too, in "Aunt Nauseam." You do know who Jake and Helen are posing as, right?

On a subject close to Daria's tricky little heart, today is also the 541st birthday of Renaissance political expert Niccolò Machiavelli, for whom "Nick's Corner" on PPMB is named. His political treatise, The Prince, became the subject of Daria and Tom's first prolonged conversation, in "Fire!" Figures.

On a closely related note, the government of Washington, D.C., was founded 208 years ago today. Happy Birthday, Beltway!

Finally, the first spam e-mails to ever pollute the pristine waters of the Internet were sent 32 years ago this day. And let me say: you BASTARDS!

Thank you for your time. Stay tooned for moar Daria.

PPMB

• ...And the Truth Shall Set You Free, by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "Ewwww!" Charles Ruttheimer III winced as the very pretty girl - Angie, one of the cheerleaders - accidentally bumped into him as he sat down "Don't touch me, freak!" Something snapped inside the mind of the boy known as 'Upchuck' at the sound of the girl's voice. "While my feelings yesterday may have been different... why would I want to touch you?"
• NEWER! Daria’s Game of Divinity, by Trscroggs (Part 1): When Daria opened her eyes, she found herself in a most peculiar room. There were no walls and everything was white. Daria was dressed in white slacks and a colorless t-shirt, which had NOT been what she went to bed in. The only spot of color in the room, besides Daria’s own skin, came from the brown wood chair on which she sat. “Oh god, not again,” Daria said out loud.
  
• The Dark Days to Come, by OverlordMikey (prologue): They were interrupted by the sound of Helen's voice: "Daria, Quinn. Downstairs now!" It had a strange mix of fear and anger. Daria found herself jumping to her feet, which she then realized she had never done before. "Your mom sounds angry," Jane commented, a look of concern on her face. "She must have discovered that secret lab hidden under the house, the question remains as to whether this will hinder my plans world conquest."
• The Dream of the White Darkness, by jtranser (continued): The greatest electromagnetic pulse ever created by man would generate novel RF effects barely hinted at by previous tests. And Daria's team would be the first to observe, record, and measure it. In the hours leading up to detonation, the team did last minute checks and calibrations of equipment and a last look around. Only one thing seemed unusual, and that was the total disappearance of the atoll's primary insect, a rather awkward bloated cockroach that spent its time on the island being eaten by birds and sand crabs. Daria mentioned it to Frank Valdaree, who speculated that this might indicate a cockroach hive mind sensitive to a six-stage EMP multi-pulse that propagated backwards through time.
• NEW! The Magic of Knick-Knacks, by Trscroggs (Part 1): “So you’re a witch?” Daria asked her best friend. “No,” Jane corrected, not looking up from the sketchpad she was working on, “I’m an artificer, which is a kind of a warlock. There are a number of differences between the two.”
• NEW! Parents Are People, by Legendeld (Part 3): Amy hummed to herself as she went through the paperwork concerning the sell of her condo at the kitchen table when Daria walked in and froze in place for twenty seconds. Amy sipped from her coffee to give the younger girl time to recover from the surprise. "Ready for school?" she asked casually.
  

All the News That's Fit to Suppress

The great history of freedom of the press in North America began a mere 319 years ago today, when the first edition of the first newspaper in the New World was printed in Boston. The newspaper was shut down the next day by the government and was never printed again. I bet that taught the liberal press a thing or two.

Today is also the seventh anniversary of the Vitim Event in Siberia, whatever the heck that was. Must have been a sight when it came down. BOOM! Perhaps it was a UFO crashing, but we will never know because 62 years ago yesterday, or so it is alleged, President Harry S. Truman signed off on Majestic 12, the ultra-secret government cover-up of its contact with alien creatures from across the galaxy. If you are looking for conspiracy lore to add to your fanfic plots, this one's a goodie.

More to come. Stay tooned.

High-School Journalism at Its Finest

What the heck is going on here? I cannot believe they said Anna Nicole Smith was ranked higher on the 2007 scandal scale than Britney Spears. That is such a crock. I'll never watch Entertainment Tonight again. What a load of bull. Where do they get off saying . . . oh, jeez, wrong blog! Sorry!

Uh, yeah, the Lawndale Lowdown, that's our topic. Right, here's the lowdown on the Lowdown. Ever since Lawndale High's school newspaper was introduced in "Quinn the Brain," with Brittany Taylor one of its columnists per The Daria Diaries, the paper has found a nice little niche for itself in fanfic as a constant source of trouble. In Canadibrit's "Grating Expectations," Thomas's "The Fascist Club," Richard Lobinske's John Lane series, Peter Guerin's "Lukewarm Metal," and Kara Wild's "Breaking the Mold" (plus later stories in her Driven Wild Universe), the Lowdown offers plenty of opportunity for students to get themselves into hot water with Ms. Li and their classmates, if not the legal system as well.

High-school newspapers are interesting entities. There is an interesting website for the National Scholastic Press Association on "Trends in High School Media" that details some of the controversies in which student newspapers become embroiled. This is not to mention the perilous path tread by students running an underground newspaper, as happens in Wild's DWU. But is this issue now passé with the rise of the Internet? Why print controversial things in the school paper when you can spam the entire planet with your views about the school administration and the mystery meat in your lunch on your own website?

A high-school newspaper will always be important. It's nice to have something you can read right in your hands that doesn't need batteries or a power cord to operate. However, Daria appeared right on the cusp of a large number of changes in the school system and society in general; the Internet's full impact was barely addressed. If the show had been made today, Quinn's essay in "Quinn the Brain" would have been published on the school's website for everyone on Earth to see. (Apparently the MTV Daria pages once made reference to there being a school website, but that material has been lost.) What would Quinn have thought then? Would Daria have blogged her opinions about school? Would Jane have posted her artwork at deviantART.com? Changes, changes, changes . . .