"It's like the end of an era!"

Well, today's the big day. As of today, Outpost Daria, one of the most well known and longest running Daria fan sites, is closed. Thanks for all your hard work over the years, Martin.

Fanfic Update!

• The Amazing Adventures of Captain Invincible!, by Erin M. (part 6): "She looked over the food and stopped as she realized there was something else sitting next to her plate. Spike's journal. Twilight swallowed heavily, her appetite suddenly gone."


• Another Lawndale's Episode, by Silver (part 4): "The first thing Daria did upon starting her knightmare frame was to go careening backwards through the thin wall of the warehouse. Not intentionally, mind you. It was just a rookie mistake; the kind of thing that occurs when one is completely unfamiliar with how to control such a machine."


• ASPS, by PrecambrianStudios (part 17.5): "Ethan heard a rapping at his door. He quickly hid the brain he was poking electrodes into and stepped out into the hallway."


• Daria & Co. Watches the Girl's Generation Music Video for 'Gee' (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: MY EYES THEY BURN!!), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "Daria: Ok so we're in a meatlocker. Quinn: Daaaarrreeeaaa! That's a clothing store! Daria: Like I said, a meatlocker."


• The Doctor and Sarah 00 – Destination: Gallifrey, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 1): "Sarah Jane Smith wandered through the TARDIS. Each corridor looked much like all the others that she passed through. She was in thought. The Doctor had just left her at the place that certainly wasn't South Croydon. However the TARDIS returned within a few seconds of leaving."


• Dylan, by J-D (part 21b): "Joey's presence gave Dylan's parents somebody to talk to instead of him, which might have counted as a plus, except that what they mostly talked to him about was his long list of extracurricular activities. That brought Dylan's parents back round to asking Dylan why he didn't participate more, turning the possible plus into an actual minus."


• Evil Thom (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: MY EYES THEY BURN!!), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "'MUHAHAHAHA!!!' T(h)om Sloane cackled at the withering figures all nice and imprisoned in his super-duper SnarkerTrapp5000!"


• Fate/Lawndale Codes, by Silver (part 5): "'I cannot BELIEVE you tried to kill my best friend!' Daria snapped at Lancer, who was managing a minor miracle in walking in a straight line while looking straight down. 'I gave you one rule! ONE! What was it?'"


• Finding an Accord, by Lord Yellowtail (prologue part 2): "He leafed through the sheets, gesturing for Charlie to look at them. 'I'm sure you've figured out what this is.' 'An encoded secret message, sir. But not from one of our people?'"


• Guesswork, by J-D (COMPLETE!): "Best friends Lou Rose and Laurie Welch were the only teachers in the faculty lounge that morning when Anthony DeMartino came in. 'Good morning, Lou', he said pleasantly. 'Good morning, Laurie.'"


• Heroine (Iron Chef: Unusual Superpowers), by SacredDust (COMPLETE!): "The terrible smell of burning artificial cheese sauce spread through the Payday warehouse store. A moment later, all the power in the entire building went out."


• Left 4 Daria, by Charles RB (part 3): "The road remained clear, a few revenants in the distance but not noticing the survivors. Dozens of ghouls were crowded around the main entrance, focused on -- Daria looked again. Ghouls crowded around the main entrance which was still intact. If the horde had found a way in, why was this batch at the wrong entrance? That didn't fit what she'd seen before. Unless --"


• Mad Dog's Legacy Chapter 11: Wilderness Adverturers, by Hyrin (part 4): "Quinn sat in a daze in the waiting room. She didn't speak or move until, hours later, she felt a gentle hand on her shoulder. 'Aunt Rita?' she asked, confused, as she looked up."


• Mine, by Vukodlak (part 3.5): "'What do you mean you already know?' Daria was torn part of her was furious that Tom knew her deep dark secret but another part was relived he was still here. But mostly she wanted to know how the hell he found out."


• On the Ground (Scenes that should be: Polite Requests), by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): "It was a ritual since the invention of home video cameras: any and all baby footage would be played at the most embarrassing time for the adult child. The time and place: Daria Morgendorffer's wedding. The culprit: Amy Barksdale."


• The Punk and the Snark, by Shiva (part 10): "The suck reared it's ugly head two days later when Helen Morgendorffer became a perfect storm of having a reprise from work and a parental kick to boot."


• Shopper's Cramp, by SacredDust (part 3): "In her high school days, Quinn knew Jane only as her sister's weird friend who painted ugly things. On this occasion she was a partner in crime. They were, technically, trespassing. But the city clearly didn't care about this place, and with Jane's morbid artistic sensibilities, Quinn knew the older girl couldn't resist the opportunity to tag along. Unlike Jane, Quinn knew the mall inside and out--specifically, the best ways to sneak in."


• The Summer Back, by Shiva (part 6): "'So Daria,' Quinn said to get the ball rolling, 'Are you and Jamie official?' 'Define official.' Daria offered up as an effective dodge. Her little sister's eyes narrowed."


• Tom Sloane, Lax Bro, by Shiva (part 6): "Have I mentioned how much I fuckin' LOVE my Dad?! Because the trip in the private jet turned into a mofo party plane all the way ba-bay!"


• Unnamed story (The 1001 Humiliations of Quinn Morgendorffer), by SinisterExaggerator (COPMLETE!): "'"Daria,' Jane called, 'that smirk. What's our malevolent misanthrope done now?'"


• Unnamed story (IC: Tom Sloane, Lax Bro TAKEDOWN!), by LongSnakeMoan (COMPLETE!): "'Let me get the straight. Al is gonna pay us fifteen grand to shoot some little rich boy for cheating on and messing around his daughter?'"


• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: MY EYES THEY BURN!!), by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "'Jane - see what's checking you out?' 'Yeah. I see him.' 'Want to take care of this before it becomes a problem?'"

BANG!

Today is the 206th anniversary of the last second-to-the-last time that a Vice President of the United States got away with shooting someone while still in office. VP Aaron Burr plugged former cabinet member Alexander Hamilton in the most famous duel in USA history (not counting wild gunfights like at the OK Corral). Hamilton died but got his face on the $10 bill as a consolation prize. Burr's feat remained unchallenged until February 2006. No Vice President of the Fashion Club has ever shot anyone, so far as can be proven.

Also on this date, 31 years ago, Australia was destroyed when the American space station Skylab landed on it after reentry. NASA was fined $400 for littering as a result, but NASA refused to pay because, hey, it was Australia.

And this is the 10th anniversary of the day that Outpost Daria was foxed. Oh, boy. Moar shortly.

PPMB

• Daria/Dorian 4—Partner's Compromise, by LadieT (continued): The conversation between the three was broken by Quinn's whistle. Dorian and Jane looked up and saw the off-white bridal gown and smoky light gray tuxedo in Quinn's hands. Jane jumped up and walked around the dress. Quinn stopped her and held the dress up in front of her. The effect on Dorian was instantaneous. She would look beautiful in that dress. I don't believe I just thought that. Yet, I can't take my eyes off of her. (FF.net)
  
• Finn Morgendorffer 52: With Extra Bitters, by HolyGrail2007 (COMPLETE!): “We’ll get along just fine,” Henry remarked. “Ooh, you wanna know what this dinner party needs, Daria? Civilians. I mean, if they’re trying to have an assassination, what really brings it home for the viewers is the chaos and screaming and trampling. So you gotta have people screaming and diving for cover and praying to Jesus and all that. Two competent people to stop the assassination, one person who knows about it, everyone else needs to be screaming and scared and crapping themselves.” Henry delivered this information with a lot of cheerfulness.
• Raft College: The First Year, by rglovejoy (Part 15): Daria bounced over the lunar surface, following Sam towards what he described as a large depression. Sam had told her that there was something really cool inside; she could not begin to guess what it might be. Everything she'd seen so far was exquisitely cool. Her spacesuit, for example, was not a bulky Apollo-era apparatus; instead, it was a skin-tight one-piece garment with a clear plastic bubble over her head. The outfit reminded her of the covers of pulp science-fiction magazines, with attractive blonde space girls being threatened by all manner of unspeakable alien monsters. Despite feeling a little self-conscious about the suit, Daria was having a good time, leaping far higher than she possibly could on Earth.
• True Blood, by Project Pegasus (COMPLETE!): "Have you been doing heroin... without me?" "Leave me alone." "Answer me! What have you been doing?" "Selling my body." "You're selling your body for drugs?!" "No, don't be ridiculous. I'm selling my blood plasma at the local blood bank. I get sixty bucks a visit." (Daria/Teen Titans)
• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Crossover the Pond), by Greystar (COMPLETE!): A serene lake, no ripples. No wind. Only the occasional sound of a seabird. All is calm. All is bliss. All is peace. Suddenly, Sandi Griffin bursts out of the water, coughing and gasping for breath as she crawls up onto the beach, sea weed and plants hanging from her clothes and hair. She staggers to her feet and walks unsteadily towards the camera. "Make me wait under the freakin' water for two freakin' minutes," she mutters. "Can't be any ripples, she says... Seven freakin' takes in a row... Pants and shoes are wrecked... I swear I'm gonna—" (Daria/Monty Python's Flying Circus)
• NEW! The White Fox, by Lord Akiyama (Part 1): "I dunno about you, but I'm finding this whole thing really creepy," Jane said. "Tell me about it," Daria said. "The likelihood of you and I having the exact same dream are slim to none." "I refuse to believe what apparently happened yesterday was real," Jane stated firmly. "I refuse to believe any thing that has happened in life is real," Daria stated herself. "Doesn't make them any less true." "Good point," Jane noted after a moment's though. "But generally speaking, there's no way that Holiday Island actually exists and that we encountered the living embodiments of St. Patrick's Day, Cupid, Halloween, Christmas, Guy Fawkes Day, and the like."
  

Babysitting in a Pinch

Thirteen years ago today, "Pinch Sitter" made its MTV debut. We learn a little about Jane's past, Daria's past, and weird families who seem to have come from outer space. And we saw Daria in pigtails. That was fun. My favorite line: "Hitler ate sugar!"

NuZ!

• "I'm having an interesting reaction to our favorite show upon viewing the new DVD set," says Daria fan APGilmore in a new PPMB thread called Re-viewing Daria. Check it out and add your two cents.
• NEW! Outpost Daria has updated again, with more stories, news, and art!
• NEW! What movies do Daria fans like best? Roentgen proposes a very interesting exercise in groupthink that you will likely enjoy. Click the link and try it out.
  

PPMB

• Back in Cynical Black, by Peapotmaster (preview): "It's Daria's biggest adventure yet, as she must save herself from the evil Cornollio Mafia! With special guest stars; Johnny Gomez, Nick Diamond, Stone Cold Steve Austin, and Beavis and Butt-Head in a battle to save the cynics!"
• Daria/Dorian, by LadieT (Parts 4 and 5): "Thanks for bringing Jane over and being here last night. Thanks for the clothes too." "No problem. How are you doing?" "I feel like I have been hit by a bus while it's being hit by a freight train. Look, there are going to be times when I'm going to need someone to talk to who isn't a female or my father." "You mean like a big brother." "Yeah, and I have it on good authority that you're not half bad in that department. So, I was kinda hoping you could fill that role."
• Finn Morgendorffer 48: Filling Sacks of Failure, by HolyGrail2007 (Part 7): Daria sucked the life out of the conversation with one sentence. “My roommate makes her own tampons.”
• For Life, by LSauchelli (Part 1): Daria Morgendorffer closed her eyes as the presiding juror read the verdict. She could only hear buzzing in her ears, she didn't want to listen. She knew already that she was going to go away for a long, long time. After all, had she not killed her family in cold blood? Had she not left countless clues to the clueless detectives on the scene? Had she not written a confession in her diary? No, of course none of these things ever really happened.
• Jacob Morgendorffer, Esq., by CAP (Part 11): The Wakefield Middle School Parent Teacher Student Association meeting ground to a merciful halt by eight-thirty... Jake looked about the auditorium as he slid on his jacket. Across the room, he spied his youngest daughter was chatting with some friends. His wife and eldest daughter begged off being present. Helen had some work to do and Daria said that she needed to count her toes. (FF.net)
  
• Legion of Lawndale Heroes Mini: Cop, by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): Given their recent run-ins with Ringbearers, Legionnaires, reapers, zombies and roving packs of teen lesbians, nothing surprised the Lawndale PD anymore...
• Morgendorffer, by Lord Akiyama (Part 3): Daria and Jane stood by patiently. They were to one side, watching with great disgust as Princess Augusta sat in one of the garden tables with her high society friends. The three girls were Lady Sandi of Griffin, Lady Stacy of Rowe, and Lady Tiffany of Blum-Deckler. The two maids were to serve whenever one of the four girls called for them. What made the situation of their occupation even more unpleasant was that they had to listen to every word the brats were saying. (FF.net)
  
• Unnamed story, by Aloysius (preview): The man who was being interviewed looked like a stereotypical Texas oilman, Melody thought as she watched the TV. Which, of course, he is.
• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: Ouch Time), by Kristen Bealer (fragment): Standing near the now-disabled Tank, Daria, Jane, Trent, and Jesse discussed how they were going to get to Alternapalooza. "There's a noise wall up ahead," Jane said. "There must be houses behind it. Daria, you and Trent stay here; Jesse and I will find a phone and call for help." She leaned toward Daria to murmur, "Great plan, huh?"
  

The Nurse Is In

Today is International Nurses Day to commemorate the birth of Florence Nightingale, the famous English nurse who cared for soldiers in the Crimean War, fought on the distant planet Crimea. (CORRECTION: I earlier wrote here that FN was an American and cared for soldiers during the Civil War. This was not so much an error as a failure on my part to point out that Ms. Nightingale was also a sidekick of Doctor Who and was able to time travel to the American Civil War after she returned from the planet Crimea. I trust this is clear to everyone now.)

Lawndale High has a school nurse, but she is never seen, even when Daria goes to visit her in "Ill." We do get to see Nurse Chase's door, so we will use that here.

GNUZ!

• Outpost Daria has updated again! Yay! DVDaria updated, too!
• Want something crazy to do? Check out Eye of the Beholder ~ A Crazy Fanfic Project Idea, by OverlordMikey.
• MDetector5 is producing sketches of Quinn for some of the fan requests he's received lately. The mojo is working!

PPMB

• Before the Deprogramming, by Kristen Bealer (COMPLETE!): "I'll figure out a way to pay everyone back," Jane promised, "but I think I want to quit the scouts. I...I'm really sorry," she finished. The troop leader looked at Jane sadly. "I wish you'd reconsider," she said. "I know you've had a rough start, but I'd like to think you got something out of your time here." "Well, I got a humongous debt that will probably take years to repay. Does that count?" (FF.net) (OD)
  
• Daria: Hunter 6—Infectious, by Jim North (continued): The shooting ceased, then a figure slowly emerged from around the corner and started checking the corpses over. There was a momentary movement from the floor, then another burst of laser bolts tore one of the ghoul's head to pieces and put it down for good. Satisfied with its work, the figure stood up and moved away from the bodies, heading straight for where the women were standing. At first, Daria thought it might just be a trick of the night vision, but as the thing approached, she could clearly see that it was a robotic drone of some type, but not like any she had ever seen before. Even the heavily modified Vexxers the Landons had been building had been normal in comparison.
• Falling into College: The Clip Show, by RLobinske (Part 8): Jake sat on one of the sofas in the living room, flipping through a white-covered photo album. "I'll let you in on a little secret. Despite her cool outer appearance, my little Daria likes to be the drama queen on occasion. When she does, you can be sure it's something special."
• Finn Morgendorffer 46: Shields Up, by HolyGrail2007 (Part 1): “Kevin! What are you doing here?” Finn asked once he hurried his way over. “Trying out,” Kevin replied. “Why are you trying out? You were a senior last year. That means you don’t go to high school anymore... wait, did you flunk?” “Hey, shut up!” Kevin remarked. Finn, however, erupted into laughter. “I don’t know what’s more shocking. The fact that you’re a five-year, or that I didn’t guess this would happen.” “Hey, it’s all Barch’s fault!"
• It's All Virtual, by Yogi (COMPLETE!): It all started with a computer repair bill. Three HUNDRED Dollars. To a college student, this was a fatal blow to any budget, and yet she needed a computer to get any work done. After swallowing her pride and asking her parents for a small loan, Daria decided to take a basic computers class just so she could fix the damn thing when it broke the next time, or at least tell if she’s being ripped off. One class became two, two became six, six became a minor, then...
• Jacob Morgendorffer, Esq., by CAP (Part 9): “Okay, Daddy,” Helen laughed into the telephone. “Oh, here’s Jake now if you want to talk to him. Okay, I love you, too.” “It’s Daddy,” Helen said extending the telephone to Jake as she stood. Jake nodded wearily then pecked her on the cheek before taking the telephone. With an inaudible sigh, he sat down in the overstuffed chair that his wife vacated. “Hi, Dad,” he said. “How are you?”
• NEW! The Mack of Mack, by Ticknart (COMPLETE!): Michael Jordan MacKenzie, better known as "Mack" to fans of MTV's reality series Daria just released on DVD, sits at a table just inside Pittsburgh's The Tin Front Cafe. He gets up and waves me over as I scan the room for him, before I even had the chance to take in the charming ambiance. "You're not late," he apologizes. "I was early. I'm always early. I charge clients by the hour, so I want to make sure that they have plenty of time, if they want it. Plus," he smiles, "it's always nice to be out of the office just a little longer."
  
• Shining Star: Temporal Conundrum, by RLobinske (Part 11): "Ahhh!" Jane said as she reappeared in to the courtyard of Terra Beacon One. "What the hell just happened?" Daria said, "Your counterpart transported us to a planet in another universe." "Daria," Jane said. "There's no way you can afford this. You must've drugged me."
• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Mother's Day Cards), by Jim North (COMPLETE!): [Won't give this one away!]
• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Mother's Day Cards), by x (COMPLETE!): [Janet: too short to sample!]
• Unnamed story (More Crossovers Not Yet Crossed Over), by Roxanne M (COMPLETE!): "Helen, I have a new client! Some guy named Red Geen called and wants me to help him market his Duct Tape/Handymans Museum." (Daria/Red Green)
• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: Ouch Time), by Minx (COMPLETE!): He was torturing himself, thinking only of the good times they shared. It shredded him inside, but that was good he wanted, needed to feel bad it was the only thing keeping him sane. Sure there had been bad times, that was why she had left him for another man, someone he had regarded as his friend.
• NEWER! Unnamed story (More Crossovers Not Yet Crossed Over), by Ranger Thorne (COMPLETE!): "Well Daria," Red said as they stood outside the lodge, "I'm sorry about it taking so long to get your boyfriend's car fixed." "Trent is not my boyfriend," Daria reminded him again. (Daria/Red Green)
  

Dancing Cheek to Cheek

Today is World Dance Day (also International Dance Day, Dance Day, etc.). It's another of those UNESCO-type holidays when our International Overlords force us to do things for cultural diversity, like eating healthy foods and appreciating badgers. Today you must dance. I have a note from my doctor saying I'm excused, but you have no excuse. Get goin', shake a leg.

By the way, the Landons at right are doing their dancing bit as Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers. Hope someone here remembers who those two were. They appear to be doing that famous "Dancing Cheek to Cheek" bit from the 1935 movie Top Hat.

OUTPOST DARIA has updated again! Yay!

The Great and Powerful Kara Wild reports on her DVD Daria set: contents, cool stuff, and everything! DVDaria has updated! See also this PPMB thread about the set.

Superfan CR85747 informs me that MTV2 will air Daria starting on Monday, May 10, 5-6 AM EDT/PST, and Tuesday, May 11, 1:30-2:30 AM EDT/PST. Be there!

PPMB

• The Dream of the White Darkness, by jtranser (continued): "Once you slice open a bag of potato chips, there's no going back." —Stacy Rowe [NEW! Extra chapter here! "Emergency meeting in the Director's conference room! Round up your staff and be there in 10 minutes, before they close the security doors! And use Quiet Passage Protocol!"]
  
• Finn Morgendorffer 44: My Three Young Women, by HolyGrail2007 (Part 2): Jane had been getting increasingly distant lately, and it was getting more and more difficult to enjoy spending time with her. And, oddly enough, it wasn’t as if they weren’t doing anything different. They hung out, Finn watched her paint. Sometimes they went to a movie, exchanged bodily fluids, and all the normal teenage stuff. Nothing about their relationship was different. Except Jane, Finn thought to himself.
• Shining Star: Temporal Conundrum, by RLobinske (Part 8): "I'm a little miffed at seeing versions of myself in relationships with what look like good guys," said Daria. "I'm pushing thirty and haven't even had a good date in the last two years." Archangel said, "I could set you up with Pam Anderson in a heartbeat." [Yowsa! See the alter ego at left for Daria as Pamela Anderson on Baywatch!]
• NEW! Transgender Bender, by Minx (Parts 1 and 2): Hmm, so Quinn isn’t little miss perfect after all. This fugly chick is her sister. Sandi smirked. He had found Quinn’s Achilles’ heel. [Originally posted here.]

Outpost Daria has updated!

Just thought that was worth noting! The updates are listed here. Thank you, Martin! Enjoy!

Whoa! Forgot to Post Last Night!

Well, better late than never.

Richard Lobinske has updated the 2010 Daria FanArt listing with many good things on which to feast your eyes.

Outpost Daria has a February update!

Eleven years ago, TV Guide had mention of a then-upcoming episode of Daria for the third season: "Daria!" the fourth-wall-breaking musical.

Richard Lobinske is building a model of a spacecraft from a Daria fanfic. Can you guess which story?

FF.net

• The Prodigal Daughter, by a440 (Part 5): "I WAS a head cheerleader once," said Brittany, "and I happen to be more than you think, Adair—and it's not just my bimboisms."

PPMB

• The Brittrix, by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): The noise continued to beep. Like a minesweeper, DeMartino swept the halls, listening carefully. He finally found his target. "BRITTANY!" "Eap!" The cheerleader almost jumped out of her seat.
• collar, by Jim North (continued): The Diamond Cage, known to most of its patrons simply as the Cage, was a small downtown club that catered to the leash and leather set and had long been a favorite haunt of Sandi and Stacy's. The city didn't hold a very large population of kinks compared to others like New York or Los Angeles, but there was still a decent crowd there when the two women rolled up in Sandi's BMW. (SFMB)
• NEW! Daria: Hunter—Strictly Business, by Jim North (continued): Once they had all their gear stowed away, they activated the second stage of their disguises. The color of their coveralls shifted from a light grey to a darker blue as the logos and IDs on the chests changed to those of janitors employed by Landon Enterprises. Daria's hair changed from red to black and Jane's went from brunette to blonde as the nanobots that had been strewn throughout altered their appearance. [More added!]
  
• Daria the Reyvateil, by Trscroggs (Part 1): “Kiddo, have you seen the lighter fluid?” Jake asked.” I could have sworn I bought a great big can of it when I got the charcoal.” “I don’t think so.” Daria said while getting up. She gave the barely visible can a swift kick to knock it further under the deck. “Maybe you’re thinking about that last time you grilled in Highland, the one where the first grill melted?” (Daria/Ar tonelico: Melody of Elemia)
• NEW! The Dream of the White Darkness, by jtranser (continued): "In addition to their existence as an unconscious performing art, dreams exist outside sense data and are distinct from their properties and those that dream them. A. T. Srinivasan says it is more correct to say that dreams are the medium of all change, and that a dream is the underlying unifying force of the Universe subsuming all other forces. In short, a Dreamer is necessary to bring the Universe into being."
  
• Falling into College 72: Valley of Love and Delight, by RLobinske (Part 7): Jane felt a little strange leading her friends through the front door and to the office. At the front desk, she said, "I'm Jane Lane. I have an appointment with Principal Defoe."
• Fight Like Hell, by Shull Bitter (continued): Jake Morgendorffer sat at Daria's computer, his legs kicked casually up on the desk and his blue shirt looking somehow more.. pressed and tidy than was customary for him so late in the day. His dark eyes sparkled with amusement. "Hiya, Kiddo! I was just perusing some of your violent revenge fantasies!" He gestured to the open word processor on the monitor.
• NEW! Finn Morgendorffer 32: It Happened One Summer, by HolyGrail2007 (COMPLETE!): “I’m looking forward to the art colony. Two months doing nothing but living my dream.” “Crammed into a wooden cabin with people who have poor hygiene. Aren’t these camps just, like, sex ed?” “Jealous, Finn?” Jane teased, and Finn found himself uncomfortable. This was that flirting that drove Tom to Daria. The body language, the suggestive words. All of it was there. And Finn realized he had not spoken to Jane about the breakup. But she did ask him about Tom. What did that mean?
  
• The First Law of Identity, by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "So Jane, what did you do last night?" Daria asked. "Oh nothing. I just cleaned my paintbrush, if you know what I mean."
• General Semantics, Private Angst, by Gwrtheyrn (Part 11): "Of course you'll be captured," said the woman, calmly. "We have no police on Mars, and no ordinary crime, but the cases requiring detective work are always solved with great speed. You will be interested in meeting a null-A detective, but you will be shocked at how rapidly you are caught."
• NEW! It's All About the Intention, by Psychotol (continued): “It’s just a general’s mast, how bad could it be?” [New addition just added!]
  
• M4: Deodora, by Silver (COMPLETE!): "Why are we doing this again?" Sandi Griffin griped for the ninth time in as many minutes. "Because it's fun?" Stacy Rowe asked her. "I'm serious! This armor is hideous!" Sandi groused.
• Playing Taboo at the Morgendorffers, by Greystar (COMPLETE!): "Okay, this is something you do on your knees?"
• A Reaper in the Wind, by RLobinske (Part 9): Tom was the first to spot the reaper. As in the UAV camera recording, it was wearing a burkha to hide its appearance. However, the fact that it was ordering marines around dispelled any misconception that it might be anything or anyone else.
• Regifted 2: I Put Away Joyless Things, by Ajar (Part 4): “So, what do you think?” Jane asked. Here goes nothing, Ryan thought as he puzzled over the piece. It was quite different from what art of hers he'd seen before. More De Stijl and not so much de Kooning. Best to praise her for trying something. “It's great,” said Ryan. “You're not limiting yourself to one style. You can explore form and shape outside of your normal paradigm of symbolism and shock.” “If I wanted pretentious fawning praise, I would have bribed The New Yorker.”
• A Ticket to Ride, by Doggieboy (Part 5): “You are a handful, Ted.”
• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: Ouch Time), by DigiSim (COMPLETE!): One sunny afternoon Sandi Griffin strolled downstairs to watch Fashion Vision, diet soda in one hand and Waif in the other. But what she saw when she arrived in the living room stopped her in her tracks...
• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: Ouch Time), by Greystar (COMPLETE!): WTF?!
  

Special Public Service Announcement!

Jane has a question. How best to answer it?

Click the link and party hearty! Thanks, Martin!

Happy Halloween!

The Stuff of Legends

"Legends of the Mall" premiered on MTV nine years ago this evening. If anyone has the time, the DariaWiki page for this episode could use a little sprucing up.

Trent's story about the crazed shop teacher with steel dentures was my favorite of the three stories, especially given the way he told it. That tale inspired another one, and another one, and another one... Thanks to Richard Lobinske for inputting the episode's script, one of the last episodes to have this done for Outpost Daria, two and a half years ago.

Speaking of Outpost Daria, it has been updated! This might be the last update for a while, as Martin Pollard explains. You have our best wishes for a speedy recovery and many more birthdays besides.

NEWZ: Pinkminx offers up a great illustration of a face-off between Sandi and Quinn. Excellent!

The list o' fanfic will be updated later today (Sunday). Stay tuned. L8R: Here's the first part. I need to finish another chapter of "Gimme Skelter" plus do yard work. Sorry for the delays.

FF.net

• Bromwell Bound: That One Fateful Summer, by HolyGrail2007 (Part 1): It was over. That was the only thought going through my mind as I arrived home. There was a lot said, and a lot unsaid, but that was the only truth in my mind at that second. My relationship with Daria Morgendorffer was over. [A Tom-centric story, told first person, and it's really good!]
• Daylight: The Fugitives, by Disco316 (COMPLETE!): Max Tyler woke up with a start. Sleep had come more easily lately. Perhaps having a steady job and food every night was helping him sleep, but he still couldn’t shake the worry that sleeping too long would leave him open to bandits.
• Pick a Boat, Any Boat, by Disco316 (COMPLETE!): [One disaster, three possible endings!]

PPMB

• Beavis, Daria, and Butt-Head, by Peapotmaster, a.k.a. Patrick Moore (COMPLETE!): "Daria, how could you tell Mom and Dad about my Smurf shirt? If the Fashion Club found out I wore one, they'll kick me out."
  
• Daria the Hoosier, by Doggieboy (Part 2): The newspaper had been abandoned, and Daria picked it up. She gave it a quick scan and learned that just a couple of weeks before, Iraqi Vice President Saddam Hussein had replaced the resigning President Hasan al-Bakr. There was also a brief article about Michael Jackson’s upcoming album and news about the Sandinista takeover of Nicaragua.
• Expendable, by Silver (COMPLETE!): Charles Ruttheimer the Third ran through London's Poplar district, cutting across streets, through crowds, and doing almost anything in his power to keep the presuing police at bay. Still, no matter how hard he tried, the sounds of persuit dogged him, harsh cries of “Stop!” and “Murder!” ringing in his ears.
• Gimme Skelter, by TAG and Brother Grimace (Part 15): Under the watchful eye of Major Jones and almost two dozen armed USCAF soldiers, General Armalin and Lieutenant Mackenzie went back into the lamp-lit airport’s main building. A highly annoyed Sergeant Freeman (holding a struggling, yapping Spike) waited inside, having been surprised by yet more soldiers who had crept in through other doors.
• John Lane 41: Friends and Rediscovery, by Richard Lobinske (Part 4): "Grizzly burgers," Daria said. "More like road kill." [Best line!]
• Legion of Lawndale Heroes Mini: The Little Drummer Girl, by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): Maybe it was meant to be like this all along. From what I understand, Mr. Stark didn’t want the Colonel to make us into soldiers. He just wanted us to get some help in learning to protect ourselves-especially after everything that happened.
• Regifted, by Ajar (Part 8): Daria sat in the cafeteria, eating her macaronis au gratin. Somehow, even in a school with as discriminating students and as high standards as Grove Hills, cafeteria food was just as awful as anywhere else. The menu is in French. I guess that's how you can tell it's gourmet, she thought to herself as she choked down her rock hard "bâton de pain." Or pretentious. Yeah, that's it.
• Shadows of a Timeless Song, by Dennis (Part 3): Back at the boarding house, Daria sat in her room listening to the rapid tattoo of her heart. The boarding house was a ramshackle Victorian monstrosity with four floors, twelve bedrooms, and not nearly enough bathrooms, which had been a huge problem when Daria arrived three months ago. [Continued at last! Spot the four-way crossover yet?]
• Tales of the Ringbearers: Recital, by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): “It’s almost dawn,” Robert Nelson said, turning his head to see Daria Morgendorffer as she stood beside him, her hand soft in his own. “Do you really want me to do this? It’s kind of corny…”
• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: The Great Flood), by Project Pegasus (COMPLETE!): And the LORD said, I will destroy man whom I have created from the face of the earth; both man, and beast, and the creeping thing, and the fowls of the air; for it repenteth me that I have made them. But Daria found grace in the eyes of the LORD. [Guess the crossover!]
• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Have: TGIF), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): Philadelphia led 21-14 with just a few seconds remaining in the fourth quarter. Baltimore looked at how long they had to go on fourth down. Fifteen yards. It wasn't much of a distance, but it could be an eternity under the right circumstances. The Baltimore team huddles. Sandi Griffin looked over at Tiffany. "Jesus, Tiffany, will you get that fat ass off my back? If you can't throw a block, this season is over."

Foxing Lady!

Nine years ago, for apparently no good reason, Outpost Daria was shut down in the event known to fandom historians today as the Foxing of Outpost Daria. (Do not confuse this with the Foxing of Outpost Amy, which was not related and took place on a different day.) Every year at this time, we give Martin Pollard a huge THANK YOU! for seeing the crisis through to its happy resolution.

Nothing else going on. Where are all those people who are supposed to be posting stuff here when I run out of things to say? Where'd you go? At least The Bug Guy hasn't abandoned his sacred duties!

Rrrrowrrr! I'd hit that!

Hola! Today is Cinco de Mayo, the Fifth of May, a day to celebrate Mexican heritage. Have some Upchuck goodies.

The best goodie, however, is this: OUTPOST DARIA UPDATES THIS WEEKEND! Get your stories in ASAP! Here's how.

The latest PPMB Iron Chef is Eyes on Quinn. Wanna create a new love triangle?

NEW! Curious about "Daria" as a baby name? Here is an interesting website that gives more depth on the topic. (Note the names given for siblings.)

FF.net

• The Quiet Ones, by Smileyfax (Part 2): As Daria and Jane filtered out of the assembly, Quinn caught up to them, a haunted look in her eyes. "Daria! We have to talk, NOW!" she demanded, grabbing Daria's arm and hauling her away. They slipped into a nearby broom closet, where they could speak without being overheard. "Daria, we have to turn ourselves in!"
• Something Is Rotten in the State of Lawndale, by Kristen Bealer (COMPLETE!): Vengeance! Swordfighting! Self-esteem workshops! Daria must avenge her father's death, but there's less murder and more silliness in this parody of Shakespeare's Hamlet.

PPMB

• Love Is a Series of Burning Sensations, by Undefinedlust (Part 8): Quinn heard the rumbling engine of a strange pulling up to the curb in front of the house and peeked out the window. After a moment she could see Daria and Tom emerge from a black Porsche and she thought with a small laugh that Tom was certainly moving up in the world. As surprised as she was by Tom's new car, she was more stunned by Daria's attire. Tonight must have been the night, she thought with a grin.
• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Angst Lord Time-trials), by Doggieboy (COMPLETE!): "Yeah, Mom, everything's going fine." Daria stared blankly at the wall of the library hall as she talked on the pay phone. "I'll try to make it next month. You know how it is, with work and all." She nodded slowly, almost mechanically, as she closed with, "I love you, too, Mom. And Dad, too. Bye." Why can't I tell her? she asked herself as she hung up the receiver. She knows something is different. Why can't I tell her?
  

The Beginning of the End of the Beginning

It was, alas, the first episode of the final season of Daria. "Fizz Ed" aired eight years ago tonight on MTV. Right after IICY? however, the fandom entered Stage Two: Never Say Die.

What puzzles me is that a lot of people don't like "Fizz Ed." I do, very much. It was an excellent way of showcasing Daria's life changes, going from someone who bitches all the time to someone who takes a stand and tries to change things. Her victory over the system was a qualified one, but it greatly benefited her school and her fellow students. It was the old "Daria Triumphant" idea brought to a new level.

The DariaWiki page for this episode needs some tweaking and more discussion, plus pictures. Wanna help?

Anyway, good job, you MTV folks.

Nine years ago today, Kara Wild finished "The Off-Canon Approach," an essay on fanfiction. She has since rethought the issue.

OUTPOST DARIA has updated! Sorry I missed this one before. Got sidetracked.

Father Martin is still tempting couch-potato Daria fans to throw off their chains of lethargy and fly to Hong Kong for a Dariacon. If you yield easily to temptation, by all means read the thread.

DariaWiki has a legion of supporters this week. Cheers go out to João Paulo Costa, BlackHole, Doggieboy, Disco316, Derek, Richard Lobinske, Brother Grimace, and Nighthawk for their superb work. The latest page: Korallrahu. NO! WAIT! It's Happy Herb.

1,159 fans at the Daria Fan Club. Do it to it!

ART NEWS: Go see Wouter's new image of Daria as Avatar. I have no idea who Avatar is, however.

Prince Charon has unleashed Iron Chef: Daria is Raven's Apprentice on PPMB. Daria is naked. Not her fault, though.


FF.net

• Daria and Jane Go to the Moon, by Echopapa (Part 2): Started in 2003, the story now continues! Hooray! To the Moon!
  
• Daria's New Look, by Stevenie Ellis (COMPLETE!): What if Daria examined her own relationship with her sister in the aftermath of Erin's wedding?
• Harry Butt-head, by Deep Metal (Part 2): “I don’t entirely like Butt-head being raised by such a narrow-minded family,” Van Driessen explained. “But this is for the best, mmkay?” [You know you want to read this. Daria is Hermione. Click the liiiiink. Click the liiiiiink....]
  
• John Lane 38: Yeah, It's Summer, by Richard Lobinske (COMPLETE!): "I kissed your boyfriend," said Alison. "I kissed John. Oh, right, and I kissed you, too."
• Liquid Diet, by Smileyfax (Part 5): "Now there's a sight you don't see every day," Jane said to Daria. They had entered the library on the off chance that there were any practical books on vampirism, and spotted Sandi Griffin at one of the tables, actually reading a book.
• Long Trek Home, by Ranger Thorne (continued): M’Kell tried to breath as the restraints tried to squeeze the air back out. “God . . . dess,” he managed to hiss.
• While the Bat's Away, by Echopapa (Part 1): The curtains of the darkened Gotham apartment window rustled briefly, marking the entrance of a shadow. After pulling the curtains closed, the shadow quietly crossed the room; a moment later, a lone table lamp was lit, revealing a cat-suited figure.

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• The Cynic and the Defender, by Doggieboy (Part 11): “I consider macaroni in chili to be an aberration,” Robert said.
• The Fall of the Angst Lords, Part 1: Rebels Without a Clue, by Gouka Ryuu (continued): Gouka continued to follow Petrel (who was also CINCGREEN) for nearly half an hour, going down main streets, side streets and alleys, and then doubling back around to make the same trip over again. They had gone in four different cycles around the city since they had left Nick’s Corner. Of course, this was to ensure that they were not being followed.
• The Other (Part 4): Jake Morgendorffer drove his two daughters to the local high school to start their academic year, saving them from the horror of walking the short distance and possibly getting sweaty. (Quinn was very insistent on this point.) They were still two blocks from their destination when Jake decided, against his better judgment, to give his daughters a quick pep talk.
• Size Does Matter, by BlackHole (Part 37): Her camouflaged beer in hand, Jane returned to the booth, just to find a familiar face occupying the seat opposite to hers. Her toy from the last Saturday was there again. Unsure what to do, Jane kept standing and waited for him to make the first move. (SFMB)
  
• Turnabout Confusion, Part II: All the King's Men, by Dennis (continued): Daria slipped into the school, heart pounding. Her mind flashed back to the momentous Friday of a couple of months ago. That day she had been a mostly innocent bystander, taken down by the plotting of others. This time she was if not the spinner, then at least at the very center of the web.

A Few More Ideas For A Slow Sunday

What if this scene from "Psychotherapy" wasn't just Quinn's imagination?

Quinn (hypnotized) – Oh Caesar, please don’t poison me. I could love you, but those togas make your butt look so big.

Daria – Oh, God.

Quinn – And what’s with that headband? Olive leaves are so BC.

Jean-Michel – Looks like she’s experiencing a past-life regression.

Daria – You’ve got the regression part right.

Quinn – Help, someone help me! Some king wants kill me for loving some soldier or something before I’ve had time to pass on my secret formula for eye liner. Oh Caesar, ya big idiot! Do something!

Daria – Impressive grasp of history, but she forgot the part where they all board Noah’s Ark for a Caribbean cruise.

Jean-Michel – Daria, I was afraid you had some rather deep-seated problems. But I must say, you’re remarkably well adjusted…considering.

Quinn – You’d think someone would’ve invented eye liner before me. But no, I, Cleopatra, have to come up with all my beauty products on my own. Oh, what a hard life.

(Daria stands)

Daria – At the count of ten, I will snap my fingers, and hopefully remember none of this.

Or in "I Don't":

Daria - Actually, I'm in the witness protection program. The Morgendorffers were kind enough to take me in after my real family was exterminated by the mob.

Instead of just Daria, the entire Morgendorffer family arrived in Lawndale as part of the Witness Protection Program. Maybe they had to flee Highland after their cover there had been lost (probably because of Beavis and Butthead, no doubt).

Or from "That Was Then, This Is Dumb":

Willow - (clasps Daria's hands) You have a very old soul.

Daria - It just looks mature for its age.

Daria does have an old soul... she's immortal

(All quotes are from Outpost Daria transcripts.)

Use them, abuse them, or just have fun with them.

An Introduction

As you may have noticed, TAG has invited a few of us other inmates, er, fans, to participate in his blog. Why, you may ask? Probably because he's lazy and tired of keeping this place up all by himself, but at the same time unwilling to let it slide. Of course, now if it slides anyway, he can just blame us newbies. Not that he'd be so devious. In any case, since I'll be contributing here, I thought I'd introduce myself, and explain how I came to be a member of this fandom.

If you participate (or lurk) on the PPMB, you know me as smk. For the purposes of this blog, I shall be hereinafter known as, 'the smk chick'. As The Kristen Bealer Guy noted, there was kind of a pattern to the names, but since I don't particularly want to be thought of as a guy, and since, unlike Kristen Bealer, smk is gender-neutral, I decided on the smk chick. And it's not capitalized because I'm pretty sure it'll bug TAG.

As for how I came to be part of this fandom, about two and a half years ago I suddenly had access to DSL. I'd never had DSL before, and wanted to compare the speed to dial up. It seemed that streaming video would be a good test, so I went to YouTube. That day they happened to be featuring a channel from nightwinggirl (I am unsure of the spelling, it's been awhile and since YouTube suspended the account [Stupid YouTube. But I'm not bitter.] it's a little hard to check). The channel had a play list with all of the Daria episodes, in order, including the unaired pilot. Over the next few weeks, I watched the whole series. Some of the comments referenced Outpost Daria, so I checked that out. I had never heard of fan fiction, but when the series was done, I still wanted more, so I started reading some of the fan fiction, on Outpost Daria and elsewhere. Then I clicked a few links, found the PPMB, discovered the Creative Writing forum, realized there was new stuff to be found there, and lurked for a little while.

I may never have decided to actively participate, if it hadn't been for one post. You see, prior to this, not only had I never heard of fan fiction, I'd never heard of message boards and had no idea that any fans other than Trekkies were active in any sense; the whole thing was unfamiliar and a little scary. When I'd been compulsively reading fan fiction, though, I did e-mail two or three authors. One was Lawndale Stalker. Once Upon a Time at College was unfinished, leaving a huge question unanswered, and I wanted to know, dammit! And he refused to answer, claiming he'd finish the story one day. (And has that happened? No! But I'm not bitter.) Then, in my lurking, I came across the following post:

http://www.thepaperpusher.net/forum/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=12442&p=208885#p208885

(I know I should probably be able to capture an image of the screen and post it here, but I don't want to brag on my 1337 skillz, so just follow the link and pretend, 'kay?)

That was me! He was talking about me! I was compelled to respond, so I de-lurked. Once the door was open, I found that participating in an online community (this one, anyway) was much less scary than I thought, and in fact have found that this is a comfortable place to be. Even though my online experience has broadened, this is still my favorite place on the 'net.

That's quite enough about me, and I promise that future posts will strictly limit use of the word 'I' (but I promise nothing about the parentheses).

Merry X to All, and to All a Good Early Start to Christmas Day!

X sez: "Time to open presents! It's after midnight, it's Christmas, so it's legal! Go ahead!"

On Outpost Daria, web-maestro Martin Pollard has produced a collection of Christmas-themed fanfiction, with the bonus of New Year's Day fanfic as well. Huzzah! I was planning to list some Daria Christmas stories here, but now I can do other things. Thank you!

There were a couple of new X-Day tales freshly out of the box today. These will appear in a later post. Meanwhile, enjoy these holiday-spirited words from Daria herself, and.... PAR-TAY!!!

Won't You Guide My Sleigh Tonight?

Another of those curious alter egos that leave you scratching your head. Wonder if the outfit is used for the same role-playing purpose as that racehorse costume Helen has for those special bonding moments with Jake. Mrs. Bennett's husband would pretend to be a reindeer-friendly Santa Claus, and... oh, let's not take that any further. Sorry.

More soon.

Outpost Daria has updated for December 2008 with lots of new fanfiction.

Mike Xeno found a humorous article by the much-appreciated Glenn Eichler in the New York Times. Worth a read.

Dawn of the Dead (Get It? Wasn't That Clever? I Love Myself)

Dawn does the Pumpkinhead routine at right. The earphones are a nice touch.

Someone once wrote a Daria fanfic about a pumpkin and dedicated it to me. You shouldn't have. But you did, so here it is!

Want other fanfics to read today? Go to Outpost Daria's brand-new Halloween story page! Most excellent! Then go here in Sh33p's Fluff and turn on the music. Lots of goodness (and badness) there, too.

You go, ghoul!

I Vant to Drink Your Bank Account!

Sandi Griffin as a vampire: that's no surprise. The image is a take-off on the 1992 movie, Bram Stoker's Dracula, which was parodied in "Aunt Nauseam." (Click this link and read the first few lines of the script.)

A good recent story in which Sandi "crosses over to the dark side" is NightGoblyn's "Swan Song." Nice and spooky, great plot twists. Another good one is Legendeld's "Breed." I'm sensing a theme here, heh heh heh.

Oh, I see that Sandi's on Outpost Daria, too. Cool. The more exposure, the better.

OUTPOST DARIA HAS UPDATED!

Click the link and party hearty! Thanks, Martin!

I Never Metamorphosis I Didn't Like

Franz Kafka, whose poster hangs over Daria's desk in her Lawndale home (look near the center of the pic at left), was born on this date only 125 years ago. Kafka was the author of The Metamorphosis, a great work of literature that no one understands. You can debate amongst yourselves as to why Daria is so fond of Kafka. Perhaps she longs to be a giant cockroach, who knows. More likely she sees her life as Kafkaesque.

Today is also the traditional beginning of the Dog Days of summer, and it is the 46th birthday of a famous actor who drinks the blood of virgins, according to Daria and Jane, who ought to know since he hasn't gone looking for them.

In penguin-oriented news, on this sad tragic awful bad day only 164 years ago, the last pair of Great Auks were killed. Damn you, Mister Normal! Trent was right!

The latest DariaWiki entry: Damien. And . . .

OUTPOST DARIA HAS UPDATED! YEEE-HAAAW!!!
Thank you, Martin!!!

That's about it. Tomorrow is a special day central to a buttload of Daria fanfics. We (by which I mean me) will try to name most of them in a long list. Look for it. First, however:

FF.net

• Box to the Future, by Smileyfax (Part 4): "There's a weird guy in our box. He has tattoos and pierced ears—why does he have pierced ears?—and he smells funny." [I love this.]
• John Lane #35: Give Me a C! by Richard Lobinske (COMPLETE!)

PPMB

• The Lawndalian Candidate, by MMan (continued): "One thing I don't think you'll like, Daria," said Jodie. "Mandatory extracurricular activities."
• Stacy Rowe, Seeker (Part II), by jtranser (continued): "And they all laughed. Just like I did later when the trap door opened and Jamie, Jeffy, and Joey fell into the carcass processor as it started up."

SFMB

• Screw You, Mary Sue! by durgarox (continued): Fourth-wall violations, self-insertion, character revolts, and fanfic goodness.
  
• Size Does Matter, by BlackHole (Part 26): “Unless you want your own share of lesbian rumors, you’d better stay clear of me.” (Commentary on story is here.) (PPMB version here.)

Cheers!