Leader of the Mack!

Mack's ready to roll for National Motorcycle Day, although I wish he was wearing a helmet. Considering he's the only one on the football team with a functioning brain, it might be a good idea to protect it as much as possible. Kevin, meanwhile, can feel free to be "rebellent" by riding without protection. It's not like there's anything to damage, anyway.

I hope Daria and Jane share a round of cheese fries in honor of National French Fry Day, but let's hope Quinn doesn't decide to regale us with her "Greasy Fry" masterpiece. No one wants to hear crappy poetry when they're trying to enjoy their junk food.

Last but not least, it was on this day in 2000 that the episode "Legends of the Mall" first aired. That was long enough ago that the year 2000 itself could now feature as a period-specific era for an urban legend in the episode!

Fanfic Update!

• Choice of the Cheerleader 02 - A Fair of Change, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (COMPLETE!): "While Quinn was talking to Brittany, Stacy approached Kevin."


• Daria Makes A Deal 2.22: You Can (Not) Revise, by Blake C Stacey (BlakeStacey) (part 4): "The party thrummed and pulsed and mingled with itself. It wound around furniture and up steps."


• Harry Potter Morgendorffer, by Meester_Lee (part 37): "Albus Dumbledore was forced to set aside the problem of finding and destroying Tom Riddle’s horcruxes for the next several days to deal with other matters: his duties as head of the International Confederation of Wizards, as Chief Warlock in the Wizengamut, and with running Hogwarts."


• he’s stupid (i’m smarting), by silly56 (COMPLETE!): "your feet are planted on the floor, palms rested on the cool comforter beneath you."


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have), by wacokid (COMPLETE!): "'Look, Daria, the proof is irrefutable.' 'Jane, this is ridiculous."


• Upchuck's Future Career in Media (Scenes no Daria fanfic Should Have: How did We survive?), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "In his studio, Charles Ruttheimer III was waiting for the cue before going back into his ranting monologue."

It's So...Jiggly!

Brittany could not be happier that today is National Eat Your Jello Day, but Daria and Jane seem distinctly unimpressed. It can't be that they're food snobs, given the greasy pizza and cheese fries they regularly consume, so I'm going to assume they're disgusted by the sight of primary colors during daylight hours. Not. Done.

On the subject of color, you could celebrate Different Colored Eyes Day even if your eyes are the same color. Just follow Quinn's advice and look into colored contact lenses! She recommends green for that touch of exotica that many young women crave.

"Legends of the Mall" aired on this day in 2000, which means the episode is old enough to qualify for its own past-era urban legend story! What kind of story would you set in the early 2000s? Probably something about a creepy Tamagotchi wearing Heelys and getting "crunk."

Fandom News!

• Vote in the Celebrity Deathmatch polls: Dexter vs. Young Sheldon Cooper and Benson DuBois vs Ralph Hart.


• Ao3 is offline due to a DDoS attack.

It's Jiggling!

Brittany couldn't be more excited! I mean, it's Jello! On National Eat Your Jello Day! What could be better? I mean, aside from a food that isn't Jello.

Today is also the anniversary of the episode "Legends of the Mall," which aired on this day in 2000. I wonder if the Rattling Girl of Lawndale, Metalmouth, and the girl from the House of Bad Grades ever get together for meetings? I hope someone brings a can opener.

Fanfic Update!

• Born on the Fourth of July, by Lady Evil (part 9): "'Alfred throws a good party.' Heracles said, sipping his Coke."


• Daniel Mongendorffer, by ST91 (part 72): "A strange atmosphere hung over the Morgendorffer family that evening. An atmosphere of good humor."


• Daria Ravenclaw: The Year of the Owl, by Meester_Lee (part 46): "What surprised Daria was how easily she was able to slide back into the rhythms of student life at Hogwarts."


• The Fabulous Fashion Club (Scenes No Daria fanfic should have: The Closing Walls of Schloss Morgendorffer and Casa Lane), by Linnofthewoods (COMPLETE!): " Announcer: 'Waif' magazine presents... The Fabulous Fashion Club!"


• Jane's Day in Bed, by hideousmeerkat (COMPLETE!): "Jane groaned as she woke up in her small Boston apartment, annoyed that the day was able to snake it's way through the cracks of the blackout curtains."


• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria fanfic should have: The Closing Walls of Schloss Morgendorffer and Casa Lane), by WacoKid (COMPLETE!): "'Jane, I'm uncomfortable with this.' 'Trust me, Daria, it'll be fine.'"

Metalmouth Should Consider Green For That Touch of Exotica That Many Young Psychopaths Crave

Mr. DeMartino is celebrating Different Colored Eyes Day, although I don't know if "bulging" counts as a color. I suppose "bloodshot" does, though. He might want to have a talk with Quinn about colored contact lenses, which of course will lead into a conversation about changing hairstyles and getting a whole new wardrobe and oops I think the eye just popped out entirely.

Of course, I should point out that the picture is technically of Metalmouth, which is appropriate because today is also the anniversary of the episode "Legends of the Mall," which aired on this day in 2000. Metalmouth made his only appearance there, as did the Rattling Girl of Lawndale and the House of Bad Grades. Lawndale sure is full of urban legends that were never ever mentioned again, huh?

Fanfic Update!

• Changing Lanes, by midnightabyss86 (part 8): "'YOO HOO! SIS!" 'Agh!' Quinn woke up with a fright. Her head was throbbing. The sunlight pouring through her bedroom window hurt her eyes."


• Coffee, by Zetor (part 2g): "'I guess so,' Stacy agreed, giving Daria's hand a final squeeze before letting go and standing up. 'I'm going to go take the turkey out. Can you take those to the kitchen?' she asked, gesturing to the now mostly empty plate and mugs on the coffee table."


• Daria's Great Adventure, by dmsfanman (part 6): "Daria watched as the last bucket of regolith was poured on top of the High Oxygen Outland Central Habitat or HOOCH for short."


• Decisions, by elainefr (part 20): "'You two seem better,' Jane spoke to her sister in law while they shared a glass of tea for Jane and water for the extremely pregnant mother to be."


• Erin Chambers, by OzFerret (part 1): "Erin held the paycheck in both hands and read her name again. They would have the bank details in their system next week. 'Yes. Finally getting my own life back' she thought."


• Jenna – Just your regular spellslinging gal, by Wassersauefer (COMPLETE!): "A lot of stories begin with a tragedy. Or a joke. One of the two is the classical move in storytelling and often set's the entire theme for the story which will follow." (Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3)


• Quinn The Matchmaker (Quinn, Season 5), by WildDogJJ (COMPLETE!): "Daria is in her room reading a book. Her look is a little different. Her glasses are wire frams but instead of a sweater or a bulky green jacket she's wearing a green t-shirt that, while not super tight, does reveal that she has curves." (Part 2) (Part 3)


• Unnamed story (LLH Short Entries #2), by Brother Grimace (part 135): "'Oh, my. That's a sight that brings back memories.'"


• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria fanfic should have: The Saga Goes On), by LongSnakeMoan (COMPLETE!): "'I don't like this red one. It makes you look...tacky.' 'Nathan, I like this dress. You know, red lips, red soul, favourite colour and all that jazz.' Jane smiled as she saw herself."


• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria fanfic should have: The Saga Goes On), by OzFerret (COMPLETE!): "Trent listened to the stranger on the phone. Trent replied. 'I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don't have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills, skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my sister go now, that'll be the end of it.'"


• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria fanfic should have: The Saga Goes On), by Silver (COMPLETE!): "'Have I mentioned your dad's modifications to the staircase are much appreciated?' Daria asked Jane as the pair stared out the window."


• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria fanfic should have: The Saga Goes On), by Smijey (COMPLETE!): "Daria was unpacking her stuff in her dorm room at Raft when a knock came at the door. 'Come in, it's unlocked,' she called out."

Now That's an Eye of a Different Color!

Daria's trying out a new look for Different Colored Eyes Day, although I think using contact lenses might be cheating. Still, Quinn will be thrilled to see Daria taking her advice at last!

This is also the anniversary of the episode "Legends of the Mall," which aired on this day in 2000. The Rattling Girl of Lawndale, Metalmouth, and the House of Bad Grades all made their urban legend appearances. One day I hope to see a fanfic that unites all three!

Fanfic Update!

• Awful Wedded Strife, by JoeMerl (COMPLETE!): "I just wanted to say that I love your website and that it was a big help in planning my daughter's wedding recently! I also enjoyed reading through your 'Weddings from Hell' section whenever I was stressed out and needed a laugh."


• The Bench, by dmsfanman (part 2): "As she walked along the sidewalk Daria thought that the air was truly hot. This was typical for early August evenings in Lawndale."


• Cynic and a Six-String, by fringeperson (part 21): "Daria looked at the book list that had been handed out to every student in the class. They were supposed to pick one of the texts, analyse it, and submit a report on its moral intention."


• The Date, by elainefr (COMPLETE!): "'What makes you think that I'm so trustworthy? I mean for all you know I could be some kind of pervert that only wants to take advantage of you.' She looked at him with more than a little annoyance. 'I feel that I know you well enough to trust you.'"


• Perspectives, by Cap (part 1): "Frederick Trimburg ambled from his back yard when he heard the automobile slow to pull into his driveway. He was not expecting visitors."


• Possibilities, by Sureia (part 30): "Sometimes, not always, but sometimes, it was important that everyone saw your triumph and spread the word. Whether it was a new top, or shoes, or a must have accessory, or maybe you finally snagged that one guy with the beach house and the convertible before anyone else, there were some victories that simply had to be advertised."


• Something Something, by mailorderannie (parts 3 and 4): "In their favorite booth at Pizza King, Daria looked at Jane over her slice. 'And that's what happened this last year. I honestly don't remember this Tom guy, but so many guys have asked one or the other of us out after the news about our relationship got around, they pretty much run together.'" (Part 4)


• That Summer, by The Central Scrutinizer (parts 12 and 13): "Martin Hart walked around the fountain three times before he noticed the old man sitting in the gazebo. He was wearing a straw hat, which he had taken off to fan himself, and a blue and white seersucker jacket." (Part 13)


• Unnamed story (World's Shortest Crossover, Part XIV: The Crossover Awakens!), by Wraith (COMPLETE!): "Rachel stood fidgeting nervously in front of Daria and Jane in the Admiral's office as Tricia bounced around in the background like a rabbit on speed. Jodie sat at a desk off to the side working on paperwork."

Different Colors AND Different Sizes!

Mr. DeMartino doesn't seem very happy about Different Colored Eyes Day, but that's too bad because (I think) he fits right in with this one. From what I can tell, he's got one normal eye and one that's both blue and bloodshot. Regardless of color, no one can claim those eyes are in any way symmetrical!

This also happens to be the anniversary of the episode "Legends of the Mall," which first aired on this day in 2000. Not much of that episode counts as canon, but you can't argue with those metal dentures on the door of Helen's car.

Fandom News!

• Ponder The Sidhe's "what if" topic.


• Kara Wild shares her Amy TV dream.


• Discuss the upcoming new season of Doctor Who.


• Talk about Harper Lee's Go Set a Watchman.


• Roentgen posted a new Iron Chef in Creative Writing: Daria Regenerations.

Urban Legends Never Die

"Legends of the Mall" celebrated its 10th premiere anniversary yesterday. Sorry about missing that. Loved Metalmouth. Had a lot of fun with him.

"Fair Enough" premiered on this day 13 years ago. An excellent episode that afforded me much fun as well. Will attempt to catch up on stories soon. Stay tooned.

The Stuff of Legends

"Legends of the Mall" premiered on MTV nine years ago this evening. If anyone has the time, the DariaWiki page for this episode could use a little sprucing up.

Trent's story about the crazed shop teacher with steel dentures was my favorite of the three stories, especially given the way he told it. That tale inspired another one, and another one, and another one... Thanks to Richard Lobinske for inputting the episode's script, one of the last episodes to have this done for Outpost Daria, two and a half years ago.

Speaking of Outpost Daria, it has been updated! This might be the last update for a while, as Martin Pollard explains. You have our best wishes for a speedy recovery and many more birthdays besides.

NEWZ: Pinkminx offers up a great illustration of a face-off between Sandi and Quinn. Excellent!

The list o' fanfic will be updated later today (Sunday). Stay tuned. L8R: Here's the first part. I need to finish another chapter of "Gimme Skelter" plus do yard work. Sorry for the delays.

FF.net

• Bromwell Bound: That One Fateful Summer, by HolyGrail2007 (Part 1): It was over. That was the only thought going through my mind as I arrived home. There was a lot said, and a lot unsaid, but that was the only truth in my mind at that second. My relationship with Daria Morgendorffer was over. [A Tom-centric story, told first person, and it's really good!]
• Daylight: The Fugitives, by Disco316 (COMPLETE!): Max Tyler woke up with a start. Sleep had come more easily lately. Perhaps having a steady job and food every night was helping him sleep, but he still couldn’t shake the worry that sleeping too long would leave him open to bandits.
• Pick a Boat, Any Boat, by Disco316 (COMPLETE!): [One disaster, three possible endings!]

PPMB

• Beavis, Daria, and Butt-Head, by Peapotmaster, a.k.a. Patrick Moore (COMPLETE!): "Daria, how could you tell Mom and Dad about my Smurf shirt? If the Fashion Club found out I wore one, they'll kick me out."
  
• Daria the Hoosier, by Doggieboy (Part 2): The newspaper had been abandoned, and Daria picked it up. She gave it a quick scan and learned that just a couple of weeks before, Iraqi Vice President Saddam Hussein had replaced the resigning President Hasan al-Bakr. There was also a brief article about Michael Jackson’s upcoming album and news about the Sandinista takeover of Nicaragua.
• Expendable, by Silver (COMPLETE!): Charles Ruttheimer the Third ran through London's Poplar district, cutting across streets, through crowds, and doing almost anything in his power to keep the presuing police at bay. Still, no matter how hard he tried, the sounds of persuit dogged him, harsh cries of “Stop!” and “Murder!” ringing in his ears.
• Gimme Skelter, by TAG and Brother Grimace (Part 15): Under the watchful eye of Major Jones and almost two dozen armed USCAF soldiers, General Armalin and Lieutenant Mackenzie went back into the lamp-lit airport’s main building. A highly annoyed Sergeant Freeman (holding a struggling, yapping Spike) waited inside, having been surprised by yet more soldiers who had crept in through other doors.
• John Lane 41: Friends and Rediscovery, by Richard Lobinske (Part 4): "Grizzly burgers," Daria said. "More like road kill." [Best line!]
• Legion of Lawndale Heroes Mini: The Little Drummer Girl, by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): Maybe it was meant to be like this all along. From what I understand, Mr. Stark didn’t want the Colonel to make us into soldiers. He just wanted us to get some help in learning to protect ourselves-especially after everything that happened.
• Regifted, by Ajar (Part 8): Daria sat in the cafeteria, eating her macaronis au gratin. Somehow, even in a school with as discriminating students and as high standards as Grove Hills, cafeteria food was just as awful as anywhere else. The menu is in French. I guess that's how you can tell it's gourmet, she thought to herself as she choked down her rock hard "bâton de pain." Or pretentious. Yeah, that's it.
• Shadows of a Timeless Song, by Dennis (Part 3): Back at the boarding house, Daria sat in her room listening to the rapid tattoo of her heart. The boarding house was a ramshackle Victorian monstrosity with four floors, twelve bedrooms, and not nearly enough bathrooms, which had been a huge problem when Daria arrived three months ago. [Continued at last! Spot the four-way crossover yet?]
• Tales of the Ringbearers: Recital, by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): “It’s almost dawn,” Robert Nelson said, turning his head to see Daria Morgendorffer as she stood beside him, her hand soft in his own. “Do you really want me to do this? It’s kind of corny…”
• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: The Great Flood), by Project Pegasus (COMPLETE!): And the LORD said, I will destroy man whom I have created from the face of the earth; both man, and beast, and the creeping thing, and the fowls of the air; for it repenteth me that I have made them. But Daria found grace in the eyes of the LORD. [Guess the crossover!]
• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Have: TGIF), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): Philadelphia led 21-14 with just a few seconds remaining in the fourth quarter. Baltimore looked at how long they had to go on fourth down. Fifteen yards. It wasn't much of a distance, but it could be an eternity under the right circumstances. The Baltimore team huddles. Sandi Griffin looked over at Tiffany. "Jesus, Tiffany, will you get that fat ass off my back? If you can't throw a block, this season is over."

That Time of the Month Again

It's Friday the 13th. Check your car for signs of paranormal activity.

The list of complete and incomplete Daria fanfiction for 2009 has been posted!

More soon, have to get some sleep.

AWAKE AGAIN!

• The 2009 fanfiction listing has been updated six zillion times since last night, mostly to remove my mistakes.
• Ranger Thorne has created the Ringbearers' "Skippy" List. You have to read it to understand it.

PPMB

• John Lane 39: Leaving Summer, by Richard Lobinske (Part 4): "It only seemed fair," said Daria, "that since I was kissed by a girl that I should kiss a girl."
  
• Rings and Things That Cannot Go Together, by Ranger Thorne (continued): “The galaxy is doomed.”

X-Day Marks the Spot!

Last, but not least, today is X-Day! What is X-Day, you ask? That is sort of hard to explain to anyone who is not a member of the Church of the SubGenius, which worships (in a manner of speaking) J. R. "Bob" Dobbs. See, the world was conquered and enslaved by alien invaders ten years ago today, and now . . . um, maybe it's better if you just click on the link and read about it there.

At left we see J. R. "Bob" Dobbs and his wife Connie Dobbs, the Blessed Anti-virgin, who have just finished an exhausting ritual celebrating the coming arrival of the Sex Goddesses (not Daria and Jane, although they could be Daria and Jane) on X-Day, which happened ten years ago but you and I missed it. See, I told you it was hard to explain. The official website is here. Strange how much Jake with a pipe looks like "Bob," isn't it?

Has anyone used "Bob" in a Daria fanfic? An avatar of "Bob" appears in "Drive," chapter nine, but that's the only one I know of. Any others?

Jennifer in the 1960s

Jennifer the Burnout Chick (or Cindy, or Karen, or whatever the heck her name is) has a small following among Daria fans, so here is a picture of Jen wearing a late 1960s granny gown, taken from "Legends of the Mall" (the Rattling Girl story). Weird how you see a character in different clothing and she or he looks entirely different. Many of the characters in the retro-scenes of "Legends of the Mall" and in the dream scenes of "Murder She Snored" are quite striking. You start thinking, hey, why doesn't Tiffany wear her hair like that more often, and Quinn looks just like an Austin Powers girl with a pixie cut, Daria is way cool in that Hawaiian shirt, and so on and so forth until you need a brain transplant, not that I am saying you do, but that's how it goes. Whatever.