Motherhood is Decidedly Not Shiny

Happy Mother's Day to every mother out there, but especially Tiffany, who is clearly not having one of her best days. Kudos to her for keeping her figure, though! That's right, Tiffany: you still do not look freaking fat.

Today is also No Socks Day, so mothers everywhere can air out those stinky feet! What, were you expecting flowers or a spa day or something? Pffft.

Fanfic Update!

• Beach Party Invitation, by cfardellbrenorenz29 (part 2): "After bribing the guard with Jane’s life drawings, they entered Crewe Neck. “Interesting instrumentals,” Daria commented as they approached the Taylor’s mansion."


• Her Last Words, by Sheila Wisz Ellayn (parts 5 - 8): "It was already night at the peaceful streets of Lawndale, with the vast and lonely gardens, the sounds of birds and crickets and a few lights coming from every house here and there." (Part 6) (Part 7) (Part 8)

Mom, Have You Seen My Sock?

Daria and Jane are observing Lost Sock Memorial Day, although I still think Jane's shirt is a strange place for a memorial. Anyway, let's all observe a moment of silence for all of the socks that we'll never see again.

I should point out that today is both Mother's Day, to celebrate all of our moms, and National Babysitters Day, to give all our moms a break. Have a good one, everyone out there who is--or has--a mother!

Fanfic Update!

• American Beauty, by Lady Evil (parts 1 and 2): "At Lawndale High, Sandi was talking to Joey, Jeffy, and Jamie in the hallway. 'So I said, "Sure, it's a nice car. Do you have enough gas to get to Loserville?"'" (Part 2)


• Clockwork (Iron Chef: Turning 40), by atiyatortilla (COMPLETE!): "Time was something that Jodie Landon never seemed to have enough of."

Whoa, Mama!

Helen's taking a stroll down cliche road for Mother's Day, but I guess it's good that she's spending the day at home. Hopefully Jake will remember what day it is, Quinn will hand her a card on her way out for a date, and Daria will poke her head out of her room long enough to wish her well. After all, in addition to being a mother Helen also has to brace herself and call her own mother, and I don't wish that horror on anyone.

I'm sure Helen is hoping that the rest of the family will help her out by celebrating Clean up Your Room Day, which means Daria might finally have to do battle with the dust bunnies under her bed.

Fanfic Update!

• Boxing Helen...Ah...., by Lady Evil (parts 1 and 2): "It was morning and Helen was on the phone while two workmen from Karl's Kitchens were putting in a new refrigerator." (Part 2)


• Danny Morgendorffer, by ST91 (part 40): "Daniel woke up happy that Wednesday. In the afternoon, he would take part in his first weekly school newspaper meeting."


• Daria of Morsang-sur-Orge, by Rémi (parts 25 and 26): "The gardens of the Palace weren’t very different from those of other powerful lords : it was only bigger. Like most other lordly gardens, it was both beautiful and useful : medicinal herbs grew apart from the flower beds." (Part 26)


• Daria of the Milieu: Chasing Wormtrails, by Meester_Lee (part 3): "OK, they’ve got it, Daria said to herself. She felt a flash of resentment at Reverend Allworthy for scooping the Oakleys out from under her."


• Nauseating Prize, by Lady Evil (COMPLETE!): "'Hello?' Mrs. Barksdale said when she answered the phone. 'Alright, Mother, where is Quinn?' Helen cut right to it. 'Where is my daughter?'" (Part 6)


• A Slice of Life, by elainefr (COMPLETE!): "'Why are you doing this?' Her question halted him at the door."


• Unnamed story (World's Shortest Crossover XV: A New Era In Crossovers), by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (COMPLETE!): "The blue cart moved along the village trail. 'Girls, I just want you to know your mother and I realise it’s not easy moving to a whole new island, especially for you, Daria, right?'"


• What Blew in at the Zon (Scenes No Daria fanfic should have: The Closing Walls of Schloss Morgendorffer and Casa Lane), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "She had gone to the Zon with Jane to see Trent play, she hadn't expected to be ditched because her friend met some guy and ran off for cheap diner food."

Childreeeen Are Noooooot Shiiiiiny

I think Tiffany has had better Mother's Days, but the good news is that all of those babies do not make her look fat! If you are a mother, have a mother, or know a mother, have a good one today!

Today is also a (sort of) special day for Daria, because the calendar at the Morgendorffer house always seems to be turned to May 12th. I do not know why that day was so significant, but I'm guessing it was some animator's birthday or something.

Fanfic Update!

• Blind Date (Anyone ever done a DariaxStewart pairing?), by Meester_Lee (part 1): "Tonight's dance was a fund-raiser, open to anyone, at least if they were able to show a valid University of Maryland student ID. The dance was held to benefit charity—in this case to aid Afghan refugees."


• The Date, by elainefr (part 10): "'When did Trent start working at a supermarket?' Daria asked Jane as they walked to class. 'Oh, yeah I remember him mentioning something about that.' Jane spoke thoughtfully."


• The Naked Truth (Life After Thirty), by WildDogJJ (COMPLETE!): "Kevin, Jim, Mack and Chuck are on the porch having some beer and enjoying a warm spring day. Kevin is also smoking a cigarette. Mack: So, what are you guys up to this weekend?" (Part 2) (Part 3)


• The Not So Merry Month of May... (Scenes No Daria fanfic should have: The Saga Goes On), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "'We're about to find out what Red Bull and Vodka will do for a common cold.' Daria said as she made one of the four arms raise up a glass of said concoction that she had prepared for herself."


• Quinn Got In The Car, by Lady Evil (part 2): "Daria knew she couldn't avoid Jane all day. She'd have to know the terrible truth. She plodded through the halls of Lawndale High, worrying about what she would say."


• Revelations (Iron Chef: Psycho Thaw), by atiyatortilla (part 1): "'What are you doing here?' Daria found herself staring through the front window like some sort of stalker while Jane looked out at her, blue eyes narrowed in contempt."


• Sleeping Brittany (IC: Blank Brittany), by Serrallonga (part 5): "Melody Powers glanced at the third floor of the block of flats in front of which her car was parked and turned off the engine. She adjusted her green coat before looking over her gun. It was nearly midnight."


• Teaching is a work of heart, by Rémi (parts 5 - 7): "Casa Lane. Jane's room. Jane is looking critically at her last painting, an eyebrow raised. She doesn't seem completely pleased with herself. She sighs and gets out of the room. Then she comes back a little while later, dragging a sleepy Trent behind her." (Part 6) (Part 7)


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Very Effective Economy), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "Jake finished cooking breakfast at the Morgendorffer family table. He could be like 99.9 percent of the people in Lawndale, letting the robots do everything for them, but Gah-dammit, he liked cooking."


• Woe, by Princess_Pasta (part 2): "Kevin was always thinking. If one were to ask his parents, his teachers, even his friends - all of them would've said the problem was that Kevin didn't think. Ever."

Does This Pot of Gold Make Me Look Faaaat?

St. Patrick's Day may have been a couple of months ago, but Tiffany's finally catching up. Or perhaps she just knows that today is Leprechaun Day! Either way, I don't think I've ever seen that girl so expressive...or so unfashionably dressed.

I hope Tiffany also remembered to hire the agency's prettiest model today, because it's also Mother's Day. I'm sure Daria will give her mother a lovely gift just as soon as Helen gets home from her 18-hour day at work.

Fanfic Update!

• Cuckoos On Infinite Earths, by Charles RB (parts 13 and 14): "In the metaphorical piles-of-socks-never-washed that was the Pan-Dimensional Wikitome, Kristen Leung-141099 (a timeline where Sega's Dreamcast sold really well) was smiling and nodding while Janice-101.303 continued to butt in and talk to Cindy-191985 (a timeline where events in 1997 were in 1985 somehow)." (Part 14)


• Daria's Great Adventure, by dmsfanman (part 2): "It was the fifth week into the flight. They had been in zero gravity with the engines off for quite a few days, at least it seemed that way. They were still a couple of weeks from needing to restart the ion engines to slow down so they did not miss Mars completely."


• Enough (IC: Random Pairing Challenge 2018), by Zetor (COMPLETE!): "'Hey, Max, Charlie's here,' Chris says, digging his elbow into my arm and pulling me from the fantasy world of Krynn, back to the unfortunate reality of Lawndale High."


• The Fall Of The House Of Barksdale (Quinn, Season 4), by WildDogJJ (COMPLETE!): "Jake is busy at work, by which I mean he's playing with a Rubik Cube. He is unable to solve it. Jake: Dammit, why don't these things come with instructions?" (Part 2) (Part 3)


• That Summer, by Princess_Pasta (part 6): "Another day at camp and another step closer to a complete revolt. The kids are growing tired of Uncle Timothy's special brand of cluelessness and Uncle Anthony is threatening an overthrow."

Happy Mother's Day!

I think Helen is overcompensating for Mother's Day, and it really doesn't matter, anyway--even if the rest of her family was at home instead of on a date, schmoozing a client, and eating pizza with Jane, they'd probaby die of shock to see Helen home from work. She's still one-up on Jane's mother, though, since Helen is at least in the same country as her own children.

Fandom News!

• How do you eat an avocado?


• Rank the Daria characters based on the difference it would make if they were removed from the show.


• Discuss your experiences with and preferences on critiques of your writing.

"M" is for the Migraines that She Gives Me

Happy Mother's Day! Helen has to work all day, but that's okay because Quinn has a date and Jake forgot what day it is, anyway. I'm sure Daria's been hard at work in the kitchen whipping up a tasty Mother's Day brunch, though!

Today is also the date that the Morgendorffers' calendar always seems to be stuck on. Is Lawndale in a Groundhog Day-esque time loop in which it's always May 12? Or is the family just too darn lazy to change the calendar? You make the call.

Fanfic Update!

• About to Be Used (IC: Thank God You're Here), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "'Thank God you're here!' Quinn yelled once the Three J's were inside the Morgendorffer's house."


• Broken, by JoeMerl (parts 1 and 2): "Brian sometimes felt strange even remembering that he had a mother, since he only knew that on other people's word. He often suspected that they were lying to him, and that while Brittany had a mom Brian only had a dad." (Part 2)


• Daria and Jane: On Korean Men Using Makeup (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Ever Have: Sick, Sad Edition), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "Jane: 'Guess what's in the news?' Daria: 'What?' Jane: 'Apparently there's a new craze in South Korea, the guys are buying makeup the way the Fashion Club does.'"


• A Date With Quinn, by SacredDust (part 1): "As Duane pulled up in front of the Morgendorffers' house, he tried to remember where the line between fantasy and reality had blurred."


• Death Comes to Lawndale, by PrecambrianStudios (parts 16 - 19): "Nate Ekard was driving towards his favorite club late at night, but at the last moment, he angrily cursed at himself and made a U-turn." (Part 17) (Part 18) (Part 19)


• Depths of Shallowness, by SacredDust (part 1): "It was kind of an accident. I wish I could say it was completely an accident. But that wouldn't be true."


• DW: The Many Doctors (Chapter 15), by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 1): "The TARDIS materialised outside the town. 'The Old West,' the Doctor said. 'That's good. Haven't been there for a while,' Felicia said."


• In Deep Water (IC: Daria the Time Lord), by Roentgen (part 2): "'Class,' Mr. DeMartino said, 'I would like you to meet our new student. Bridgette Stone.'"


• Keep Up the Pace (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Ever Have: Sick, Sad Edition), by PrecambrianStudios (COMPLETE!): "Daria was going to enter her parents room to ask for some dinner money, but she heard the following exchange: 'Jake, can you go a little bit faster, it's like you can't keep up.'"


• Losers No More , by Shiva (part 16): "Daria and Graham reached the bleachers and parked their butts just in time to hear Upchuck go, 'Now ladies if you're wondering how you're making the Chuckmaster feel. Why... You make me want to SHOUT!"


• Love is a Poison (Iron Chef: Random Love Triangle Challenge!), by ST91 (COMPLETE!): "'Tiffany dear thank you again for inviting me to take a cup of tea, I really needed it.' 'I imagined it Sandi, indeed plan a marriage must be very difficult and tiring.'"


• The Mageborn Cynic Chapter 4, by peetz5050 (part 2): "The maid spoke up voluntarily for the first time, tears in her eyes and a wail in her voice. 'We are all stricken with horror at what has occurred under this roof. The tragic loss of our noble Lady and her boys especially has crushed my heart. Oh! What will become of us all? What will we do? The Duke is dead! The House of Morgendorffer is in ruins!'"


• The Missing Princess, by peapotmaster (part 1): "It was a hot day in Mycroft Hills, as me, Penny Wise, and my fellow girl detectives where getting the latest issue of Girltective Comics Magazine online."


• The Popular Girl Speaks, by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "Hi, my name is Tori Jericho. I'm currently a Senior at Lawndale High, a few more weeks and I'll be graduating."


• Sandi For Jesus (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Ever Have: Sick, Sad Edition), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "'LIKE, REPENT!' Sandi screamed while waving a big sign saying that the End was near, 'THE END IS, SO TOTALLY NEAR!'"


• Sonoma Coma, by jtranser (part 7): "'Doctor Morgendorffer, you told me to alert you if there were any new developments in the O'Neill case.'"


• Stuck in a Ruttheimer (Scenes that should be: Polite Requests), by SinisterExaggerator (COMPLETE!): "'Wait,' Daria blurted out, wondering if tinnitus had kicked in yet, 'you're friends with Upchuck?'"


• The Three B's (Iron Chef: Random Love Triangle Challenge!), by SacredDust (COMPLETE!): "Jane was feeling the itch."


• Topless Day (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Ever Have: Sick, Sad Edition), by SacredDust (COMPLETE!): "'Topless Dayyyyyyy!' Ms. Li announced brightly as everyone tried to look away. 'Show your love for Llllllawndale Hiiiigh by going topless!"


• Unnamed story (IC: Thank God You're Here), by Dariclone2 (COMPLETE!): "Daria sighed and slumped her shoulders. It had been another rough day of classes at Raft University and all she wanted to do was get to her apartment and have a long, hot soak. She'd never realized classes would be this challenging in her second year."


• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Ever Have: Sick, Sad Edition), by SacredDust (COMPLETE!): "'So Quinn, want to go to a movie?' Stacy asked as she desperately changed out of her now-unfashionable slip dress. To think she'd almost committed a crime like that in front of Quinn! But it was okay--she had a foolproof outfit in mind."

Yo Mama!

Happy Mother's Day! Helen's trying to decide whether or not she can blow off her Mother's Day brunch to get in a few extra hours at the office, but the rest of us can celebrate. Richard Lobinske wrote a Mother's Day-themed fanfic, Shared XX, and there are probably others I'm forgetting. If you know of any, please share them in the comments!

Fanfic Update!

• Abbatoir Blues (1): The Hitman and Her , by LongSnakeMoan (part 3): "Fuck it, it's now or never. Better to be straight with her and let her make her own choice. Gently does it though, I can't risk her taking off. I'm surprised every morning when I wake up and find she's still there. I always half expect to come down one morning and find her gone."


• Blessings of the Moon -- Chapter 2, by Fhujeth_x (parts 1 and 2): "Nervously Stacy started down the stairs, hoping to hang near her sister, meet this 'steady boyfriend', and keep a safe distance from any dangerous sorts of conversations about her personal life and grades, unaware of how strange tonight's dinner really would be." (Part 2)


• Ethan Yeager in Lawndale: Ch 4 Power to the Snark, by Shiva (parts 3 - 5): "'Procrastination is the enemy that will force us to clean up roadkill.' Ethan said in a monotone sing-song voice, reminding his boyfriend and his two girls that were his friends, but not girlfriends, as they approached the wall that was covered in sign-up sheets." (Part 4) (Part 5)


• Family Reunion, by januense (part 4): "Daria was about to have her first encounter with Addam's cuisine and Jane, wanting to preserve her best friend from strange and potentially harmful surprises, tried to advise her. 'Ok, Morgendorffer. First rule: don't touch Grandmama's biscuits if you value your life. Second rule: if you notice some movement in your dish, FIRST stab it and only investigate AFTER ...'"


• Found, by DIsaac (part 2): "I knew this day would come... Just not this soon. I know what he is about to ask. I still remember it and the deal that was made. What do I say? What do I say? Maria, say something dammit! For the love of god.... Say something!"



• The Hunter Home from the Hill, by DeacBlue (parts 1 and 2): "They were rocking in a hug for what seemed like days, but could only have been minutes, when Jake relaxed his grip a bit. 'Kiddo, we're so glad to have you back, but where were you? How did you get here? Heck, how did you find us?' Daria hung her head again. 'It's...a long story, Daddy. How I got here? I made some friends.' She motioned to the minivan, and made a 'come-here' gesture. The doors opened up, and all six girls got out." (Part 2)


• Invitations (Legion of Lawndale Heroes Mini), by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "'Daria-!' 'Yes, Quinn – I got one, too. Well, several announcements, and an invitation.' 'Oh, Well, okay, then.' Quinn was visibly deflated as she stood in the commons area of the twenty-first floor of Legion Tower, looking over her fellow Legionnaires – and noticing that each had a small pile of graduation announcements in their general vicinity. "


• Kevin and the 'Baby' (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: The Morning After), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "'Awww... Did the bae-bay make messes in it's nappie?' Kevin Thompson cooed to the figure in the playpen, his 'little girl' had just started crying, but a quick check of her diaper revealed that it was dry."


• Meanwhile, in the Green Room of Eternity... (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: The Morning After), by TheExcellentS (COMPLETE!): "They were well catered for when they weren't out on assignment. The amenities were comparable to most luxury hotels. But the one thing that they all truly wanted... freedom... was something they could never have."


• ST: ANC: A Time of Terror (Non-Daria), by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (COMPLETE!): "'Unknown biosign on the bridge,' the computer said. Natima Dacet did not like the sound of that. She backed against the veiwscreen and looked around the bridge. Nothing, or at least, nothing visible. Then an eerie light began to fill the bridge. She edged along to the nearby turbolift. The light coalesced into something, spectral, for the lack of a better term. It came towards her. 'No! Stay away!'"



• TDJS Ch. 2 Interlude, by ST91 (part 4): "'True, but Dario should not even have been put into that class... like all the kids who were forced to take part.' Helen said the latter with a tone of voice that was as cold and sharp as a blade of ice. That tone of voice, Dario knew, was the manifestation of a vast and terrifying anger. At that moment he almost felt pity for Ms.Li... almost."


• Undying Love, by BrownEyedBagel (parts 1 and 2): "She moved where the man would see her as she usually would to greet an intruder. He did hesitate the way they always did, and asked the same question that the braver ones could force out. 'What...are you?' Daria's answer was always the same. 'Sadly for you, not the last thing you'll ever see.'" (Part 2)


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: The Morning After), by LongSnakeMoan (COMPLETE!): "'Helen, I have a confession.' 'What Jakey?'"


• WaM, Ma'ams, Dark Paladin, by DeacBlue (part 7): "While the humans were discussing the various issues, April sat. And sat. And sat some more, until she finally stood up and said, 'I'm going to connect up with Gay Deceiver to discuss how we can upgrade her.' At Zeb's stricken look, she said, 'Don't worry, we're just giving her more room to think and work. Literally a thousand times more, in both directions.'"

Happy Mother's Day!

Today is Mother's Day in the United States, so today would be a good day to call your mother (or favorite mother figure, if you prefer). Helen Morgendorffer just might look up from her work in time to notice, but let's not hold our breath, okay?

Today is also Victory in Europe Day, which commemorates the end of World War II for Europe. All in all, a pretty good day!


New Fanfic!

• Belching Daria (Pie, Pie, My Darling), by Smijey (COMPLETE!): "Daria and Jane gazed down at the refrigerator box. 'Well, it's a box alright,' Jane observed. 'It's more than a box,' Daria said, more to herself than Jane."


• Daria Unplugged S1, by peapotmaster: "MR. BUZZCUT Listen up, you morons, and shut the hell up! As you know, one of you bastards is leaving Highland. I wish it was Beavis and Butt-Head, but it’s Daria Morgendorffer."


• Fat Unlike Me (Pie, Pie, My Darling), by Smijey (COMPLETE!): "They finally arrived at their destination: a rather seedy-looking minimall somewhere downtown. Quinn got out, gesturing for Sandi to do the same, and she then led the chubbier girl to the rear of the Good Times Chinese Restaurant. 'Like, what are we waiting for, Quinn?' Sandi asked, impatient. 'Sandi, in just a few minutes, you'll find out why I want you to lose weight so much.'"


• The Ghost Drawler (Iron Chef: Unlikely Team-Ups), by Smijey: "'Are you telling me after three damn years, somebody FINALLY NOTICED TOMMY SHERMAN?' The man with the broken nose gave a whoop. 'Dollface, I ain't never been so glad to talk up a chick like this before, you know what I mean?' The smirk on his face gave a strong hint as to what he meant. Tiffany left the confines of her mind and noticed the ex-football player again. 'If you don't get out, I'll tell,' she said, pointing towards the door."


• God Save The Esteem ep29: Daria's High Score, by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): "Not taking anymore chances, Ken went for his car. He’d have to leave Tiffany behind and all his hopes & dreams of her calling him 'Ken', but he’d have to make that sacrifice – he was almost home free- The window directly above him shattered; Janet Barch came hurtling through it, screaming 'MEEEEENNNNN SSSUUUUUUCCCKKKKK' on her way down, and as she landed she jumped and dropkicked him in the face."


• An Invitation You Can't Refuse (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: It's Friday!!), by thatLONERchick (COMPLETE!): "'Are you ladies in need of a knight in shining armor?' 'Can we take the armor and ditch the knight?' 'Hey!' Charles smirked. 'It's a packaged deal, toots!' Daria and Jane exchanged a look, then Daria unzipped her boxy green jacket, swept it open and drew her glock from her tooled leather shoulder holster."


• Is It Lunch Yet? (Pie, Pie, My Darling), by Smijey (COMPLETE!): "'I'm not much for public speaking, or much for speaking, or come to think of it...' She trailed off as she looked at the award in her hands. The microphone picked up the growling of her stomach. Daria opened her mouth, and..."


• The James Lane Chronicles Chapter 6, by InvisibleDan (part 3): "'I can't believe this. You don't even bother asking me what I would want to do so you volunteer me for something I would never choose and now that your boss's boss is involved there's no way I can get out of it without making you look bad.' Helen just shrugged her shoulders. Her voice as cold as ice, Daria said, 'I'll be in my room.'"


• Kevin and His First Battle, by Wassersauefer (COMPLETE!): "Kevin hissed when Dame Kirsten adjusted the dressing around his broken left leg but he was unwilling to scream like a little boy in front of a hot chick. Not that he would ever try to land with Kirsten, her being older than him. And of course there was the fact that her boyfriend could kick his ass every day with his hands tied down. Speaking of her boyfriend, said young man stormed right into their direction. 'Yo, Hendrik-Bro...', began Kevin, grinning like only he could, when Sir Hendriks armored fist connected with Kevin’s nose, breaking it instantly."


• Legacy, by getrealordie187 (COMPLETE!): "She meets her wide eyes in the mirror. "That b***h. She planned all of this. Every single piece of it." And knowing you've been played only means you get to figure out exactly how long that man behind the curtain's been making you look like a fool. It doesn't help persay but on the brightside? You can finally see where the strings were being pulled. And then all you have left is the fun task of wondering how you missed it all in the first place."


• Level A (Bits & Pieces that just BEG to be made into Daria FanFic), by RLobinske (COMPLETE!): "At the moment, all Daria could hear was the faint hiss of of air flowing from her backpack tank to her respirator. Her uncorrected vision was blurred even more by the lenses of the full-face respirator and the plastic face of the outer containment suit. The baggy, blue suit restricted her movements, so she compensated with extra care as she set the offending container into an overpack drum. With a nod to her partner, they put the drum lid in place and tightened the bronze bolt with a non-sparking wrench."


• LLH Alternate Future - 08 - Get Real, by psychotol: "'Daria?' asked one of the patrons. 'No. Daria’s a wuss. Takes a real telepath to scramble someone’s brain and entire nervous system. X-rays are dead. Excuse me.' She left. It wasn’t Daria, just Daria like. 'She ... god that was creepy,' said someone."


• Man of the House, by Smijey: "Daria was extremely disgruntled for the next few weeks in the lead-up to the wedding. The day after she blew up at me, she had a rather heated phone conversation with Helen. She demanded to speak to Quinn, but Helen rejected it, citing that she didn't want Quinn to talk to Daria while she was so 'upset'. Then Helen asked to talk to me, and she bitched me out for getting Daria so upset. After she ran out of steam, I managed to ask about Jane, and she at least agreed to that."


• Not So Different 15: Payback Is A Barch, by J-D (COMPLETE!): "Suddenly Sonny was ambushed by his mother, who was indeed wearing a red team armband. She pointed her paintball gun at him and he surrendered at once. 'Sonny, you could at least try.' 'I'm learning about another aspect of warfare, the experience of the captive.'"


• Not So Different 16: Ju-Jutsu, by J-D (COMPLETE!): "'The only reason she got an A', Sonny went on, 'is that O'Neill is emotionally incompetent to recognise that a cry of pain is not necessarily a mark of intellect. Maybe next time I have to do an essay for him I should just write: “I don't like doing homework! Please don't make me do homework! I hate it so much!” Then I could just spill a few tears on the page before I hand it in...'"


• Rude Awakening Ep. 4: It's That Kind of Day, by DIsaac (parts 4 - 6): "DARIA: 8:35 on WHUB 98.5, Alright I want to talk about a couple of things, that for lack of a better term, came out during that Jodie and Mack conversation. MACK: One, Jodie would have done Jane back in high school if she swung that way. DARIA: Two, Jane hates being hit on by lesbians." (Part 5) (Part 6)


• Sick Sad Photography (Long Story Challenge #2), by untra: "'Mom, I can explain,' Quinn began, casting a pleading look to Jane. 'There were these photos of Daria, but I think they're actually of aunt Amy, and-' 'You mean photos like this one?' Helen growled, holding up the crumbled photo of her daughter. 'Because it's not aunt Amy, I can assure you.' Both Quinn and Jane went quiet, thinking of their next words. After a long and awkward silence, Jane spoke up with the most honest words she could come up with for the situation. 'Oh fuck.'"


• Tales of the Ringbearers: With Extreme Prejudice, by Doggieboy (part 1): "A panicked male voice on a speaker suddenly said, 'Dunwich Base, this is Norwood Base, we are under attack! I repeat, we are under attack! Attacker appears to be a Ringbearer. I repeat, the attacker appears to be a Ringbearer! Please advise us to what we need to do! We have no----' The voice cut out then and for several seconds, everyone in the lab froze and stared at the now silent speaker."


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Mack Dynamite Goes to School), by Dark Kuno (COMPLETE!): "Jodie smirked and Mack let out a chuckle as they took in the decorations setup for the Boogie Bash '70s Revival Night, the latest of Ms. Li's fund raising plans for 'capital improvements'. 'Looks like they managed to find the disco ball,' said Mack as he glanced up at the sparkling mirrored sphere hanging from the auditorium rafters."


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Mack Dynamite Goes to School), by Hyrin (COMPLETE!): "Mack walked into the bathroom, the door slamming into the wall hard behind him. 'It's just too much,' he muttered, pacing the length of the room, stopping to stare at the mirror. 'Come on, man,' he said to his reflection. 'You can do this.' He took several deep breaths, then felt his control slip."


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Mack Dynamite Goes to School), by Hyrin (COMPLETE!): "'KEVIN! What were the ramifications of the Watergate scandal?!' 'Um...Everyone got wet?' 'Shut yo mouth!' Mack said, slapping Kevin so hard that his ring left an imprint of the words 'Jive Sucka' in the QB's forehead. 'Big Daddy Dick had to walk the long walk o' shame. Mr. Model T himself took over and there was crying in the streets when he gave out the great "Get Outta The Slammer Free" card.'"


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Unlikely Team-Ups), by getrealordie187 (COMPLETE!): "'Do you not know that we have a common enemy young Sloane?' 'Err...call me Tom. And I don't like to think of my girlfriend's father as the enemy.'"

Happy Mom's Day!!!

Busy today. Talk amongst yourselves. Here's a topic: Who would make the better mother in adulthood: Daria, Quinn, or Jane? Justify your answer in Comments.

And for all you moms: party on!

GNUZ!

• Check out the new ideas in the Flinging Fourth the New Ideas Thread!
• Three Iron Chefs covering family and parenting issues have appeared just in time for Mother's Day. Look for: Daria's children, your view; Mother's Day Cards; and The Adoption Option.
• Wanna talk about a fanfiction character you created? Here's the thread to do it: Favorite character minutiae & ramblings.
  

PPMB

• NEW! Before the Deprogramming, by Kristen Bealer (Part 3): By the end of the week, Jane had exhausted her supply of grade school customers but not her desire to show up Brooke. She had a little bit of luck trying Lawndale State, but found she had to catch students at exactly the right time and place—usually somewhere between the campus ATM and the snack bar. Next, she started hanging around outside the local gyms and fitness centers and catching hungry-looking people as they left. That brought in a few more orders, but she soon realized that the crowd she was dealing wanted instant gratification and had little interest in waiting for the cookies to be delivered. She soon moved on. She finally hit pay dirt at the Better Days Nursing Home....
• NEW! The Dream of the White Darkness, by jtranser (continued): Ever since she could remember, Daria had always gazed at the full moon in wonder. When she was a child, she could make out the Man in the Moon. As she aged, she could make out other shapes from the mountains, craters and rilles of the lunar surface. On nights when the wind was out of the north and the light haze obscuring the night sky was lifted, she could just make out the Pterodactyl in the Moon, which only she could see. And then there was that one night, just after high school graduation, where the darkened craters and dust seas of the lunar surface seemed to be illuminated by glittering precipices of light undulating across the moon's equator in a stately dance to music played far outside the range of human hearing....
  
• Finn Morgendorffer 45: Quarter Past Midnight, by HolyGrail2007 (Part 6): Finn turned around and got into his tent. He wasn’t tired, however, so he merely sat in his tent and started to think. He was motionless as he stared at the opposite wall of his tent. Finn felt something on his shoulder, and he quickly turned his head. He saw Jane’s face give her slight half-smirk right next to him. But then Finn blinked his eyes, and there was nothing there.

Yo, Mom! It's Your Day!

No one has yet written a great Mothers Day story making use of the alter ego at left. Alas.

Happy Mothers Day to one and all. More news to come, have to do Mothers Day stuff here, hope you understand. Remember Helen Morgendorffer's great moment as a mom? What a gal.

What was your favorite Daria fanfic about motherhood? Name the best in Comments and share with everyone.

A possible route for Daria releases? Maybe, maybe not.

The Day Before Mothers Day

First question: on which image of Madonna was this alter ego of Helen Morgendorffer based?

Second question: to be announced when I think of it.

FF.net

• The Quiet Ones, by Smileyfax (Parts 4 and 5): Jane walked into her house and dropped her bookbag at the side of the door. As she walked upstairs to her room, she resolved to call Daria, as she wasn't in school that day. All had apparently been forgiven for Daria's fouling of the dye job and Jane's paranoia, but Jane wanted to make sure Daria was okay nonetheless. "Huh," she said aloud upon entering her room. The shades were drawn and the lights were off. She reached out to flick on the switch. "Don't turn on the lights, Jane." [Contains mature content. Hang on.]
  

PPMB

• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Angst Lord Time Trials), by Angelinhel (COMPLETE!): She curled up next to her best friend, for once feeling safe and comfortable.
• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Aware of Changes), by Scissors MacGillicutty (COMPLETE!): Daria Morgendorffer awoke from uneasy dreams to the sound of her sister's voice. "DA—RI—A!" Quinn's cry came from just outside her door. "You better get washed and ready if we're going to make the Fashion Club meeting this morning!" [LATE ADD: The story is actually continued here. It is just amazing. You must read it.]
  

L8 MORNING ADDS:
I was too lazy and tired to look it up on my own, but yes, it does indeed appear to be Madonna from her 1990 music video "Vogue," another extremely specific pop-culture reference from the MTV animation staff. The relevant image is here, the video is here, and the background on the video is here. This video is apparently widely beloved by critics (said to be be one of the best music videos of all time) and was directed by David Fincher, whose movie credits are eye-popping and include The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. One heck of an alter ego reference.

Oh, almost forgot, there's a Pizza Thread at PPMB now, thanks to Brother Grimace the Great. Check it out.

Happy Mother's Day!

Party on. More later, busy day today.

Mother's Day +100 and Goin' Strong!

I can't shoot my own mother. Not with paint, anyway.

—Daria Morgendorffer, "The Daria Hunter"


Yes, Daria's fond thoughts lead us into this happy weekend celebrating the joy that is Mom. Though tomorrow is the official time of Mother's Day, today is the actual 100th anniversary of the first real Mother's Day in the U.S., which was celebrated in Grafton, West Virginia.

Did you ever wonder what kind of teenager named Mother's Day goes to Holiday Island High School? I have. She's a pissed-off sarcastic pregnant teen (think Juno) whose jobless boyfriend, Father's Day, drinks a lot and sees other girls. If you have a different vision, post it in the comments below.

IT'S TIME FOR NEWS!

Now for some news and cultural references. While surf-skimming the interwide cyberblog webnet, I discovered an amusing editorial making reference to Our Heroine (not Jane, the other OH) on the student website for Vanderbilt University. You might like to read, "TOP TEN: Most Awesomely Bad Cartoons of Our Youth" and travel down Memory Lame a moment. Ah, the vast TV wasteland, you gotta love it. Too bad they didn't list Q-bert, but that was from the '80s.

You might also wish to read a student editorial on the state of MTV today from the website of The Roanoke Times. Where have those good days gone? (Maybe I shouldn't talk, since I missed Daria almost entirely when it was on.) See also an editorial on wrestling (no, seriously) on 411mania.com, a website about pop culture; you may have to search for "Daria" to find the reference, but it hits home. Where is that bright and shining light that was Daria? Oh, well.

The best is last. If you're into irony (and we all are, I know), read the opening lines of this entry from MTV's Movies Blog. Forget that it's about Speed Racer (barf!); just look for . . . well, you'll know it when you see it. Made me smile. Maybe she's out there in a spiritual out-of-body sense, making sure no one at MTV forgets her. Gotta love it.