Zzzzzzzzz....

Daria and Jane are busy observing Public Sleeping Day, or they would if Quinn would finally give them some peace. Trent seems to prefer sleeping in private, but I have no doubt he's nodded off in public before. Possibly even while onstage.

Also, happy birthday to Geoffrey Arend, who voiced Upchuck and turns 37 today. He also voiced one-time characters like Ken Edwards, Leonard Lamm (the Ultra Cola exec from "Fizz Ed"), and the Assistant Bursar from "College Bored" ("You play the ponies, Jake?"). He must have had a talent for playing the sleazy guys...let's hope he's not like that in real life!

Fanfic Update!

• Quinn's Code 12: Stacy the Brain, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (COMPLETE!): "The teacher then said, 'Stacy? Was there something you wanted to say?' Stacy looked at her table and the tables nearby to ensure that she wasn't mistaken. 'Um, I didn't get my essay back,' she said, her heart racing."


• Unnamed story (World's Shortest Crossover XIII - Crossovers are Magic!), by Brian Taylor (COMPLETE!): "'What is this,' said Barry. 'Wow,' said Daria. 'What a mansion.' 'Captain Morgendorffer, where's Chris?'"


• We Can't, by probablyprocrastinatingnow (part 1): "Jane swore as the red paint dripped toward the bottom of the canvas. 'Stupid paint. Not doing what I want it do.' Daria appeared in the doorway. 'So Jane Lane isn't a talented as we assumed.' she droned monotonously."

Once Upon a Cynic

Daria's prepared for Tell a Fairy Tale Day, and if we're lucky she'll favor us with her personal spin on Hansel and Gretel ("So the witch tore Hansel's arm off, popped it in her mouth, said, 'Hey, pretty good,' and within minutes had devoured the rest of his body, leaving only the lower intestine for fear of bacteria....") or Cinderella ("So Cinderella skipped the ball and asked her fairy Godmother to make her the first woman president...."). But make fun of her outfit and she'll shove that goose somewhere very unpleasant instead.

Speaking of unpleasant encounters, it was on this day in 2001 that the episode "Sappy Anniversary" first aired, exposing Daria's relationship insecurities for everyone (except Tom, at first) to see. We also got to see just how unbelievably inept Jake is when it comes to technology. Yikes.

Fandom News!

• The latest Lawndale Lowdown podcast is up! Listen to it and give feedback in the thread.


• Read an article about gladiatorial combat and discuss old school fighting in a new thread.


• Talk about the latest developments in the upcoming Alien movie.


• Why is modern art so bad? Watch the video in the thread and add your thoughts to the discussion.

Time to Discover the Eunice Inside!

Why is Daria putting contacts in again? Why, all the better to watch "Through a Lens Darkly" with! The episode originally aired on this day in 1999, and I'm sure Daria is really thrilled about reliving that pleasant first encounter with contact lenses. At least the dogs of Lawndale will rest a little easier knowing her peripheral vision is improved now.

Fanfic Update!

• Black Cloaks of Lawndale, by Waylander (part 20): "Herb was getting frustrated at the lack of progress made by his latest pupil. Jane couldn't get past the candle exercise, no matter how hard she tried."


• Daria: College Pains The Sophomore Year, by James the Lesser (part 4): "Daria pulls in to the driveway early in the morning. She is worried when she doesn't see Jane's car."


• Mack of All Trades, by Kristen Bealer (COMPLETE!): "'We did it! Woooo!' Kevin cheered, slapping Mack a high-five as they walked off the football field a few days later. 'We're gonna be Glenfield Gladiators!'"


• Unnamed story (World's Shortest Crossover XIII - Crossovers are Magic!), by Kuriamo22 (COMPLETE!): "Jon Stewart sat at his desk on The Daily Show trying to put forth his usual jovial attitude, 'Today marks the 112th day since Empress Morgendorffer... "ascended" to the "Presidency".'"

Eat My Dust, Sandi!

Stacy's ready to race the Daytona 500, which is taking place today! Stacy may look like she's making the "I'm number one!" sign, but I suspect she's actually tracing the outline of a clothes hanger. There must be outlet shopping nearby!

This is also Walking the Dog Day, but that's a little risky considering you never know when Daria's going to get behind the wheel.

Fandom News!

• Mike Quinn has a question about marking forums read.


• Do you use Twitter? Kem is looking for opinions and advice.


• What do you say when you don't know what to say? Give your thoughts on an awkward moment.


• Discuss the recently-announced casting of Jason Momoa as Aquaman.


• Two new Iron Chefs have been posted in Creative Writing: DIsaac's Daria Charactures write some books and Derek's newspaper headlines inspired by TV.

I Don't Think I Want Him Handling My Mail

Mr. DeMartino looks either happy or deranged--or maybe both--because as a history teacher he knows that on this day in 1792, George Washington established the U. S. Postal Service. Whether or not Mr. D would be happier as a postal worker than he is as a teacher is open to interpretation, but on the plus side he'd have to deal with Kevin a lot less.

Fanfic Update!

• Daria and the Gang Presents: 1950 (Daria and the Gang), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "Daria: Okay, this is a weird thing to start off with in 1950. Ingrid Bergmann's illegitimate child. Tom: As opposed to Ingmar Bergmann's illegitimate child. No one cared about that."


• Don't you dare (IC : Ms. Morris is Upchuck's aunt), by ST91 (COMPLETE!): "It was a day like many others at Lawndale High and Janet Barch was in the teacher's lounge busy grading the last test of science. At some point, however, someone came in and closed the door."


• Mack of All Trades, by Kristen Bealer (parts 3 and 4): "The more he thought about it, the more he wanted the underwear to be far away, as far as he could reasonably get them. He thought about all the possible places in Lawndale that one could dispose of unwanted junk and finally settled on the city landfill as the most fitting location." (Part 4)


• Reaching Skyeward (World's Shortest Crossover XIII - Crossovers are Magic!), by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): "'Excuse me.' Daria leaned into the conversation like the proverbial grey cloud. 'This is Grant Ward, the kid who firebombed the synagogue?'"


• Unnamed story (An Old Idea Revisited), by Robyn (part 1): "Evelyn Loken and Jane Lane walk into homeroom and put their bags on the floor. Jane reaches for her sketchpad and Evelyn reaches for a spiral notebook which she uses for a combination of artwork and noting important activities for school and extracurriculars."


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef : MMORPG, Lawndale style), by Waylander (part 5): "Darlene, welcome to Altherra! The introductory message transformed into a stylized map of the central continent (in Daria's opinion, it looked like an upside down version of Africa that had an encounter with a giant meteorite)."


• Unnamed story (World's Shortest Crossover XIII - Crossovers are Magic), by Kuriamo22 (COMPLETE!): "Jane walked into the lab, and noticed A) The whole lab is full of metal coffee mugs which come up to her knees and B) Daria is sitting at a computer looking depressed."

Just Don't Go to See Her Pastels Afterward

Jane and Alison are celebrating National Drink Wine Day, but I'd suggest Jane scale back a little bit. You never know when a predatory artist is going to try to get in your pants.

Fandom News!

• The 2014 Daria Fanworks Awards written and visual winners have been announced! Congratulations, everyone!


• Who are the heroes and villains of Daria? Give your choices and the reasons behind them in the thread.


• Post your crazy SSW-style news stories in the Artie's Tinfoil Sea Cruises Thread!


• The AV Club picked Daria as one of the best animated series ever (or at least among those that begin with "D".)


• Brother Grimace has some questions about liquor.


• Which comedies have stood the test of time, in your opinion?


• ST91 posted a new Iron Chef in Creative Writing: Ms. Morris is Upchuck's aunt.

Lincoln and Washington, Bros for Life

It's President's Day, and both presidents are surprisingly excited about it considering the two of them have to share one holiday. Still, as long as nobody wears sandals I guess everything will be fine.

Also, "Arts 'N Crass" first aired on this day in 1998. Highlights of the episode include learning about the extra quart of grease in the pizza recipe, witnessing Helen's moment of triumph, and seeing Brittany's unlikely art contest win. (Seriously, how awful must the other entries have been?!)

Fanfic Update!

• ASPS, by PrecambrianStudios (part 81): "Wearing a long, emerald-green trenchcoat and a deerstalker cap that barely hid her sunglasses, Karis Chapman tailed Ben Nielsen, making to keep at least fifty feet behind him. Her searching was almost over; she knew he had the answer."


• Mack of All Trades, by Kristen Bealer (part 2): "Keeping his eyes closed, Mack thought, If he keeps saying his lines in that monotone, I won't need any angels. His dull acting will put me to sleep just fine. And opening night is in three days! I almost feel sorry for the audience."


• Rising with the Machines... Cynically, by Kuriamo22 (part 3): "The next day Jane noticed Daria was acting a bit quieter than usual as they walked to school on that rather chilly morning. Jane glanced at her friend and noted she looked deep in thought as she stared blankly forward."


• Unbearable (Daria and the Gang), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "The doorbell rang at the Morgendorffer residence. 'That's for me!' Quinn cried from upstairs. But before she could bound downstairs and get to the door, Jake was already ahead of her. He always liked his chats with Quinn's dates, where he could rap, homie to homie."


• The Unique, by EntrancedCat (part 2): "'Yondah lies da castle of my foddah. That's got to be the most boring castle ever,' she decided."

"Everything is cool. Everything is love, baby."

Cupid's looking a little down because it's Valentine's Day and the only date he could find is that Irish midget again. For those of you who are in happy relationships, happy Valentine's Day! For those of you who are not, well, happy half-price candy day eve!

In the meantime, here's some Valentine's-themed fanfic for you to enjoy!

• Acts of Cupidity by Disco 3:16


• The Bear and the Unicorn by Brother Grimace


• A Bitter Aftertaste by Dennis


• Daria/Dorian: Love Rescue Me by Di


• Old Married Valentines by RLobinske


• Pause in the Air: Family Affairs by The Angst Guy


• The Secret Life by The Angst Guy


• The Valentine Crush by LILJELLYB AND T1TANIC111


• Valentine's Day by Deref


• A Valentine’s Day to Remember by Galen Hardesty

Fandom News!

• Today is your last chance to vote in the 2014 Daria Fanworks Awards! Pick your favorite written and visual fanworks now!


• BloodyWilliam would like some beta viewers for a webpage he created.


• In honor of the holiday, Kem shares some Daria-themed Valentine's Day cards.


• Robyn posted a new Iron Chef in Creative Writing: American History.

Evolution of a President

Andrea's wishing Abraham Lincoln a happy birthday, as the famous U.S. president was born on this day in 1809. And now I'm trying to imagine how the Gettysburg Address would have gone over if Lincoln had started out by calling his audience rotting bags of flesh.

Sharing a birthday with Lincoln, even down to the same year, is Charles Darwin, and in honor of the naturalist who shaped the theory of evolution we celebrate Darwin Day today as well!

Fanfic Update!

• Butt Frenzy (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: The Madness Sets In), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "Daria looked up from her copy of Butt Frenzy and saw what was causing all the noise."


• Daria: College Pains The Sophomore Year, by James the Lesser (part 3): "Daria wakes up in the back of her car. She is curled up with Conner. 'Ow.' Her back and neck hurt after sleeping in an uncomfortable position the whole night. She has a headache, a clear sign of her hangover."


• Daria on the Sideline, by dmsfanman (part 8): "Daria walked into the classroom – her classroom – and looked at all of her freshmen."


• A Day at the Zoo, by piratecaptainatheart (COMPLETE!): "Daria thought it would just be a normal, quiet day in her padded cell of a bedroom; watching Sick Sad World re-runs, trying to block out the sound of her sister's Fashion Club meeting and generally just avoiding doing any of her Summer college work, but everything changed when the doorbell rang."


• Going Home, by ablackberrywinter (COMPLETE!): "'I can't believe I let Jane talk me into this.' Daria mumbled to herself. At twenty-eight years old, Daria felt that she couldn't be coerced by anyone in this world. Anyone except for Jane Lane, of course."


• Mack of All Trades, by Kristen Bealer (part 1): "'It's just your middle name, so no one even has to know.' 'I'll know,' Mack argued, slouching forward and crossing his arms as they sat on his front porch. His life was totally ruined at the tender age of twelve, and it was all his dad's fault."


• Spirit Stick, by Brother Grimace (part 16): "'Excuse me. We're still here.' The Ringbearers turned back; they had the good grace to look slightly embarrassed at forgetting that they were in the company of survivors of that world's Reanimate crisis."


• Stillborn, by Katin (COMPLETE!): "Jane was extra oxygen in a coffin. "Was" being operative. Daria breathed her in too quickly and now she's gone. Daria was suffocating without her."


• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: The Madness Sets In), by Silver (COMPLETE!): "The group sitting around the table just stared. And stared. And stared. After nearly three minutes of dumbfounded silence, Tom broke the silence."

Which PayDay Aisle are the Umbrellas in?

Andrea's got you covered if it rains, which is good because today is Umbrella Day! Of course, if it doesn't rain then she's going to look pretty silly. But this is the girl who willingly left a party with Upchuck of all people, so who knows how her mind works?

Fandom News!

• The deadline for voting in the 2014 Daria Fanworks Awards is this Saturday! If you haven't voted for your favorite written and visual works yet, please do so soon!


• If Daria were an anime fangirl, what would she be into? Give your thoughts in the thread.


• MartinUK spotted a Daria fanfiction mention on Snopes!


• Do you pity or hate Mr. O'Neill? Tell everyone which you choose and why.


• Music fans can discuss The Grammys in a new thread.


• Staticblast wants to know what happened to the script format.


• Bill Bruford posted a new Iron Chef in Creative Writing: Deceased persons works trying to be published.

Is This How Jane Used to Spend Her Time in the Girl Scouts?

Better watch your backs! It's National Girl Scout Cookie Day, and if those pint-sized thugs are any indication of how to celebrate the day, I think I'll pass. Interestingly, today also happens to be Boy Scout Day, so it looks like equal opportunity shakedowns are in order. Lock your doors, people!

Fanfic Update!

• Brittany and a Pernicious Problem, by Bill Bruford (COMPLETE!): "It was mid morning when they hit the slopes, well one of them did, the other shuffled along trying to keep balance. After many shoot downs of James's idea of chariot scythes on ski's, they began." (Part 5) (Part 6)


• Fashionably Five Oh, by psychotol (part 1): "Sandi wound up her run around the village she had been moved to."

The Sultan of Sensitive

Mr. O'Neill is smiling because today is the 120th anniversary of George Herman "Babe" Ruth, Jr.'s birth. I think Lawndale must be a football-only town, because I can't recall a single instance of baseball being mentioned on the show. Let me know if there's a reference I'm forgetting in the comments!

Fandom News!

• There's only about a week left to send in your votes for the 2014 Daria Fanworks Awards! Check out the written and visual nominations and choose your favorites now!


• Bill Bruford wonders about creating his own DariaWiki page.


• ScizzorWizzard is looking for help deciphering the title of the book Daria was reading in "Art Burn."


• Listen to The Lawndale Lowdown Podcast, recorded by ognawk and Princess Pasta!


• Learn some fast facts about PPMB denizens and share some of your own!


• See the new Daredevil trailer and give your thoughts on the upcoming Netflix series.

Makes Sense; Kevin's Not Very Focused, Either!

Kevin looks even more pleased with himself than usual because on this day in 1789, George Washington was elected president of the United States. Or, as Mrs. Stoller put it, "And so, the people asked George Washington, 'Will you be our new king?'" Whether or not the newly-elected president then scolded a teenage girl for being late to class is anyone's guess.

Fanfic Update!

• Brittany and a Pernicious Problem, by Bill Bruford (parts 2 and 3): "KNOCK....KNOCK KNOCK 'Come in' Brittany answered the knocks, same apathy plaguing her voice." (Part 3)


• Doctor Who: Season 8.5, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (prologue): "The Doctor awoke, for real this time as the 'dream crab' expired. 'Clara!' He called out. He scrambled to the TARDIS, which soon dematerialised."


• E-mails, by BeingFearless (COMPLETE!): "From: Daria To: Jane HELP. I'm bored. TV doesn't work. Come home."


• Rising with the Machines... Cynically, by Kuriamo22 (part 2): "Daria stood next to an empty street surrounded by darkness.Suddenly she saw of the nearby tree's along the road lit by a flash of blue lightning. She spun away from it in fear to see a bright white light blind her."


• Slow Flows the River, by UU (part 1bis): "The second most important person in the second most important country in the world cared neither about the bitter cold and the snow falling on his face nor about the most important person shuffling by."

Did the Angel See Her Shadow?

Quinn's filling in for the late Charlie's Angels star Farrah Fawcett, who was born on this day in 1947. The Fashion Club did an homage to the classic TV show in "Murder, She Wrote," although as I recall it was Tiffany who got to model for the famous poster.

This is also Groundhog Day, during which a large rodent is expected to predict the weather. In case you're wondering, Punxsutawney Phil saw his shadow, so it's six more weeks of winter for us. Hooray.

Fandom News!

• The 2014 Daria Fanworks Awards still need your votes! Choose your favorites from the written and visual nominations.


• Make everyone groan with your cheesiest food puns.


• Talk about the upcoming series Power Rangers Dino Charge in the Weapons of Mass Destraction forum.


• What are you binge watching? Tell everyone about it in the thread.


• Pick your favorite television (or film) criminals.


• GlitterShrooms posted a new Iron Chef in Creative Writing: Third Morgendorffer Sister à la Helen.