Bollocks!

It's Guy Fawkes Night, and everyone's favorite anthropomorphized British holiday is feeling...well, at best indifferent and at worst pissed off. So, the same as usual.

I do applaud Guy Fawkes's willingness to get involved with his country's political system, but I don't recommend his methods. Instead, since today is Election Day in the United States, I encourage all of my fellow Americans to vote if you possibly can.

Once you've done your civic duty, you can enjoy that other beloved pastime of our country for American Football Day. I'm sure Kevin will, even if the situation isn't appropriate. I mean, he has to take those shoulder pads off occasionally, right?

Fanfic Update!

• Spider Quinn 12 Rise of the Green Goblin, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 8): "Sandi came down to breakfast and saw that her brothers were watching Brittany talk at the Groundhog Day Festival. ‘I doubt she’s the Shadow,’ she thought."


• When Tony Comes Marching Home, by wilddogjj (part 1): "Sandi, Quinn, Stacy and Nicole were gathered in one of the mansion's many sitting rooms having a discussion. While Sandi carried herself with a regal, commanding presence, the other three women looked uncomfortable."

"Today I'll be the perfect working wife and mother!"

I don't know who Helen thinks she fooling, but just because it's Housewife’s Day doesn't mean she isn't seconds away from dropping everything to rush to the office for a law firm emergency. Probably involving Eric needing a second opinion on his tie.

Before she leaves, I hope she remembers to pack a lunch because it's Sandwich Day and she won't be very productive on an empty stomach. Kevin can recommend his favorite, nutty-butter and banana, but I don't think she should accept any sandwiches found in The Tank. Especially if they've been recently sat on.

Quinn and the rest of the Fashion Club will be pleased to know that today is National Accessory Day, and they can accessorize to their heart's content. As Quinn explained, "That whole 'less is more' thing is so over! Accessories are back!"

Black IS Slenderizing....

It may look like Tiffany went a little heavy with the makeup, but actually she's just preparing to celebrate Día de los Muertos, or the Day of the Dead. As for the skull, well...maybe she's going to perform Hamlet and/or Romeo and Juliet?

I hope that the skull at least has healthy teeth, because it's National Brush Day and we don't want to see any cavities! Mr. O'Neill even has the perfect song for today: "Brush, brush, brush your teeth, using good hygiene, up and down and up and down and floss until they gleam." I assume he gets his music from the same place the Gupty family does.

While everyone tries to get that song out of their heads, I'll let the Morgendorffers know that today is Love Your Lawyer Day and Helen would appreciate a bit of affection. Or she would if she were home, but she's most likely at the office again. It's okay; you can love her from a distance!

Fanfic Update!

• Alison's Last Word, by riotsquirrrl (COMPLETE!): "Alison was at the top of the stairs to the Marcy Ave subway stop on a Monday afternoon a few weeks later when her phone rang. Flipping it open, she saw that it was her gallery."


• Busy Hands Do The Devils Head In, by psychotol (COMPLETE!): "Justitia watches the latest soul disappear off to hell and turned to Valak saying 'man I’m about ready to knock off, is that it?'"


• Mysteries of Aurora, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 2): "Olivia and Janara approached one of the Main Library’s entrances along one of the elevated walkways. Olivia was listening to an audio guide on the University."


• Secrets of Lawndale, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (prologue): "Quinn Morgendorffer walked through the streets of Lawndale. She didn’t believe that Tiffany Blum-Deckler had thrown her out."

I Really Hope That's Cranberry Juice

It appears that half the Lane family is getting in on the fun for Look in the Back of Your Refrigerator Day, although I don't expect them to find much of any value. The Lanes don't really seem like the type of people to keep much fresh food in the house. Or any food at all, for that matter.

If they come across anything suitably rotten then they could put it to good use later on because it's Mischief Night. There's nothing like the weaponized use of smelly produce to really start a prank off right!

As pranks go, though, I don't recommend participating in National Text Your Ex Day, especially if you're Ms. Barch. I suspect that she has nothing good or useful to say to her ex-husband.

Fuzzy Wuzzy Wee...Snacks?

I see that Mrs. Bennett (as well as, for some reason, Upchuck) is super excited about Plush Animal Lover’s Day, because it's a great opportunity to collect more Fuzzy Wuzzy Wee Bits! Since I assume that Fuzzy Wuzzy Wee Bits were a reference to Beanie Babies, I have to believe that the bottom dropped out of that particular market a long time ago.

Just don't eat the poor stuffed critters, even if it is Wild Foods Day. Still, I'd rather have a mouth full of cotton stuffing than take a chance on Jake's survival skills. No glitterberries for me, thank you!

In fact, I'll just stick to my favorite snack for National Chocolate Day. I hope Jane is able to get her hands on some unauthorized chocolate, but she'd better keep it hidden from Mrs. Johanssen if she wants to hold onto it.

Finally, a happy International Animation Day to every single character on Daria because, after all, they're all animated! I suppose it would make more sense to thank the artistic talent behind the show, though.

Fanfic Update!

• How to Train Your Dragon: Berk in Time, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 1): "This is Berk. Most places have cats or dogs as pets. But we have dragons."


• Spider Quinn 12 Rise of the Green Goblin, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 7): "Mayor Lawson was on edge. He read through the Sun-Herald's article again. 'Pure speculation!' he groused to himself. 'There's no proof there's an actual fourth costumed vigilante.'"

Will She Turn Into a Carriage at Midnight?

It seems that background character Dawn is all set for National Pumpkin Day, and just in time for Halloween as well. If you haven't carved a holiday pumpkin yet, today is your best chance!

I'm more interested in National Trick or Treat Day, though, because hey! Free candy! I have to assume that Trick or Treat Day is Halloween's sugar-obsessed kid sister.

If you're not into Halloween festivities, then you could always celebrate Hug a Sheep Day instead! Although I'm not sure why anyone would want to hug a sheep. As pointed out by Quinn, they tend to be...less than clean.

Fandom News!

• wouter offers an example of Trent's quote: "They don't care about your art, they just want something loud going on so they don't have to talk."


• Vote in the Celebrity Deathmatch poll between Samantha Stephens and Sabrina Spellman.


• Meester_Lee shares a story about an Indiana teenager's skull found in a wall.

Kevin's Due in Kangaroo Court

Brittany is either making sure everyone is aware of kangaroos for National Kangaroo Awareness Day or else Kevin ticked her off again and she's about to go a few rounds in the ring with him. I would bet on Brittany to win even without the animal strength and massive hind legs.

After the boxing match they should sit down and share a meal for National Food Day, although for most people National Food Day is every day. Enjoy the edible item of your choice, and bonus points if it's pizza to honor our favorite duo!

Finally, it was on this day in 2000 that Wraith posted an essay on the episode "See Jane Run." He makes some interesting points, and it's always fun to see reviews of the show written while the show was still airing!

Fanfic Update!

• Mysteries of Aurora, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 1): "Freya Andersson was excited. She was starting University at Academia d’Aeterna Universitas d’Aurora, the oldest university in the world. Of course, that wasn’t the reason she was studying there."

They're Just Nuts About...Well, They're Just Nuts

Daria and Jane are taking National Nut Day awfully far, but hopefully they're being paid well for their humiliation. Let's just pray for Daria's sake that Trent doesn't experience a peanut brittle craving and head their way.

I suppose Daria would much rather be reading or even studying, though, especially because today is Smart is Cool Day! I guess the popular kids at Lawndale High School didn't get that particular memo, but Daria will get the last laugh someday. Except that she doesn't laugh.

It's possible that the late Timothy Leary, born on this day in 1920, would have disagreed, however. His famous advice to "Turn on, tune in, drop out" suggests that traditional education wasn't his preferred goal.

Fandom News!

• Read and discuss an article on Screen Rant that declares Daria the best MTV animated series of the 1990s.

I Vant to Try on Clothes!

Sandi's trying out a new hairstyle and fashion choice to honor the late actor Bela Lugosi, who was born on this day in 1882. Lugosi was best known for his iconic portrayal of Dracula, but he was also (infamously) known as one of the stars of Plan 9 from Outer Space, a film that most likely made it into one of Daria and Jane's Bad Movie Nights.

I suppose Daria should let Jane pick the next movie, though because today is National Lane Day. I don't suppose there is a National Morgendorffer Day, though, so maybe that isn't fair. Jane has to share anyway, however, because it's also National Jeff Day and Jeffy would probably like to have a little attention...at least from a certain redhead.

If Jane chooses a movie Daria doesn't like, she could always spend the time working on a new Melody Powers story in honor of National Day on Writing. Assuming that her Musings rejection didn't sour her on the whole thing, that is.

Fanfic Update!

• Jim's Wet Nightmare, by wilddogjj (COMPLETE!): "Jim was in the garage working on a 1957 Chevy Bel Air while tripod mounted cameras recorded the process."


• Moronic partying, by Rémi (COMPLETE!): "Daria and Quinn were walking to school. The two girls were holding hands but, since Quinn was always more enthusiastic about things than Daria, the latter was lagging behind and being pulled forward by her little sister." (Part 2) (Part 3)


• Run, Timmy, Run, by wilddogjj (COMPLETE!): "The Fielding football players who'd stolen the Glenfield Wolf costume have just placed it in the team's storage room. Once that was done, they walked out and closed the door behind them." (Part 2) (Part 3)


• Spider Quinn 12 Rise of the Green Goblin, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 6): "As she sat down for dinner, Helen noticed something different about Daria. 'Hairclips, Daria? I’m happy that you’re changing something up.'"

Time to Get Out the Razor!

Jake picked the wrong day to quit shaving, not only because it's No Beard Day but also because I don't think a beard would really suit him anyway. I suppose Trent could consider shaving off his goatee but I'd hate to wake him up for something as trivial as grooming.

Since I've never had a beard, I am much more interested in celebrating National Chocolate Cupcake Day, especially if any of my readers are willing to contribute cupcakes! Brittany and Kevin can celebrate, as well, because Kevin probably still considers Brittany to be a great hostess...cupcake. Except that Brittany has previously stated a preference for Ho-Hos.

I offer absolutely no sweet treats to Ken Edwards, even if today is National Ken Day. Partly this is because I don't want to reward creepy dudes but also I just don't like to share my chocolate.

Fandom News!

• Discuss cartoon gags that have not aged well.

But...Just the Dye?

Quinn is going to make sure everyone knows that it's World Allergy Awareness Day, or at least she's going to make everyone aware of her allergy to pistachio dye. Remember that allergies can be life-threatening, and even end a neck modeling career before it has the chance to start.

As long as you don't consume anything that might cause a reaction, please do celebrate World Food Day by eating...something. Could be cheese fries, could be frozen lasagna, could even be chewing gum if you're Ted Dewitt-Clinton! Just don't try the sushi at Tokyo Toby's.

Once Quinn gets over her ordeal, she can join her friends at Cashman's to celebrate National Department Store Day. I'm sure some serious shopping will take her mind off the unpleasantness, or at least it will until Sandi repeatedly reminds her of it for her own amusement and spite.

Fanfic Update!

• Cynic and the Tower of Joy, by Meester_Lee (parts 1 - 3): "It came about very suddenly. One moment, the area around Tunney’s Store was there, just as it had been for decades; the next it was gone, replaced by a medieval-looking tower and a few scattered outbuildings." (Part 2) (Part 3)


• Fashion Show (Scenes no Daria fanfic Should Have: How did We survive?), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "Quinn Morgendorffer stood backstage at New York Fashion Week as the models were being given their final instructions."


• TheFashionClub, by Rémi (COMPLETE!): "As it was the first day of Daria and Quinn at Lawndale High, their mother was driving them to school, but truth be told, the sisters didn’t enjoy the ride one bit."


• A Variant Lawndale 01 - Beach Party Invitation, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (COMPLETE!): "Suddenly, something happened. There was a rumble and the ground near the wave pool cracked."


• Alison's Last Word, by riotsquirrrl (COMPLETE!): "Is it really a student art opening without jug wine? Jane thought as she nursed a plastic cup of red, mildly alcoholic, liquid."

Bald and Free...to the Max!

Max is having a great day because not only did he get appointed a Junior Deputy but it's also Be Bald and Free Day! I suppose that's accurate in that he has been released from jail but he's not what anyone would consider a free spirit.

I bet Max's mood would get even better if someone offered him a sweet treat for National Dessert Day. Jane might still have some of that ice cream cake, or perhaps Quinn could produce another chocolate layer cake...unless that's reserved for Kevin only.

It's a Switcheroo!

Kevin and Brittany have moved beyond wearing each other's underwear and have now switched clothes entirely in honor of National Costume Swap Day. I have to admit, Kevin really does have the legs to pull off a skirt, although I'm more worried about what kind of force of nature Brittany would be on the football field.

Once they're done cosplaying as each other, they might take Kevin's motorcycle for a spin for National Motorcycle Ride Day, although I recommend that neither of them wear a skirt for that. Also, Brittany needs to remember to keep her mouth shut if she wants to keep her teeth bug-free.

As soon as they get back from their ride, they can find Mr. DeMartino and help him celebrate Moment of Frustration Day. I think it goes without saying, though, that the teacher will experience more than a single moment of frustration with those two around.

Fanfic Update!

• Crystal Claw, by Sheila Wisz Ellayn (COMPLETE!): "Everything seemed absolutely perfect for Ella Anne that day." (Part 47) (Part 48) (Part 49) (Part 50)


• Spider Quinn 12 Rise of the Green Goblin, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 5): "Half an hour after leaving home, the Enigma arrived in the vicinity of the Historia. She remembered her conversation with Daria after the opening."

Guys, Please Get a Room!

Brittany's got no problem with National Hug a Kevin Day, but I don't think she'd appreciate it if anyone else tried to celebrate it. I really hope those two know that it's only "hug" Kevin, because no one wants to see this go any further.

If Kevin grabs a set of drumsticks then they can also celebrate National Hug a Drummer Day! If not, then Max is always available. And I do mean always because no one likes Max. I don't think he can expect many hugs today.

Hugs might be appropriate in general, though, because it's also World Mental Health Day and comfort from a friend is always helpful for anyone struggling with mental health. What's not so great for mental health is the Quiet Ivy psychiatric institution, where the professionals don't really seem to know what they're doing. Mrs. Manson would fit right in.

Fandom News!

• Azul has some law questions.


• Vote in the Deadliest Warrior poll between Thor from Marvel Comics and Tlaloc.

Where's a Red Pen When You Need It?

I hope Jodie takes some time off from her stressful day to appreciate the irony of a misspelled poster about dyslexia, especially because it's World Dyslexia Awareness Day. There has been some fandom speculation about whether or not Kevin is dyslexic, although I suspect his intellectual problems run much deeper than any learning disability.

I don't think it would be wise for Jake to recreate the Great Chicago Fire, which began on this day in 1871, in the Morgendorffer kitchen. I don't care if Helen hid the mop again; the milk will taste just as good cold. If he really must warm it up, I might recommend the microwave.

Although there were no explicitly stated lesbians in Daria (Alison, being bisexual, doesn't count), I think we can celebrate International Lesbian Day all the same because fanfiction more than made up the difference. I can't say I'm surprised about it--with the shortage of decent guys in the show, shippers have to do what they can!

Fanfic Update!

• Crystal Claw, by Sheila Wisz Ellayn (parts 44 and 45): "Camp Grizzly was quite probably the most famous Summer camp in all of Pennsylvania." (Part 45)


• Homecoming, by davidfalkayn (part 32): "'Who was that on phone, Dear?' Mrs. Ruttheimer asked as she came out of the kitchen. 'That was Brittany, Mom.' Charles answered, 'She’s coming by in an hour to pick me up to catch a movie and then listen to some music. Jenn and her group are playing tonight.'"


• Parting Gift, by remi (part 10): "'Very well, Quinn. I am surprised that you would want to defend Daria after what she did, but we are listening. What do you have to say in her defense?'"


• Sixteenth Doctor Adventures (Chapter 1), by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (COMPLETE!): "After the TARDIS had landed, Xander got off the floor. ‘He’s taking this rather well. Much like others I have travelled with, in my previous incarnations,’ the Doctor thought."


• Spider Quinn 12 Rise of the Green Goblin, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 4): "In the bathroom, Daria looked in the mirror. She saw herself and Quinn, two sisters who were more alike than she would have expected before her father passed."

Merry Unbirthday, Kevin!

Kevin is proclaiming to all that today is Mad Hatter Day so you should...I don't know, wear a hat or have a weird tea party or talk nonsense. Whatever you like. If you don't have any other plans, you could read one of the many Alice stories that cross over with Daria.

I hope no one tells Jake that it's Change A Light Day, because the last thing anyone (especially Quinn) needs is for him to fiddle around with the light fixtures and risk killing a family member again. Hey, how many Jakes does it take to change a lightbulb? I don't know, but feel free to share your ideas for a punchline in the comments.

Instead of doing any DIY projects around the house, Jake should just cook up some pasta in honor of National Noodle Day. We know he can make both fettuccini Bolognese and penne a la pesto (as long as the pesto doesn't oxidize), so plain noodles shouldn't be a problem.

Fandom News!

• R.I.P., John Amos.


• wouter shares a song he wrote and the story behind it.


• Discuss the “Daisy” ad.

Please, Go Back to Scowling!

Daria really needs to stop celebrating World Smile Day because she's starting to freak me out. Supposedly she doesn't like to smile unless she has a reason, but apparently being super creepy to all observers is reason enough.

It should put a smile on Jake's face to learn that today is National Golf Lovers Day, so I hope he gets the chance to break out his clubs and play his favorite game. I think one of my favorite Jake moments is at the end of "I Don't," when it turns out that he left all of the chaos behind to play golf at the country club. Good for him!

I don't think anyone will be smiling for Kids Music Day, at least not if we have to listen to Tad and Tricia Gupty's awful records. Jane will most likely refuse to sing that song about John Jacob Jingleheimer somebody but would be happy to perform "Old McDonald" for us. Don't even ask Daria about "Pop Goes the Weasel," though.

Fanfic Update!

• Crystal Claw, by Sheila Wisz Ellayn (part 43): "What Quinn Morgendorffer discovered that day had been so shocking, so terrible and painful that she had cried and howled all over the house, just trying to be noticed by her parents and yet remaining all ethereal and invisible as the ghost that she had become."

Who Wouldn't Want a Seeing-Eye Jane?

Daria and Jane are celebrating International Walk to School Day, which actually is pretty much every day for them. However, it's rather unusual that Jane has to guide Daria through the trip thanks to a lack of vision correction. Resist the urge to steer her into a tree, Jane!

With luck, Daria will receive some otherworldly help because it's Guardian Angel Day. Then again, guardian angels are more Quinn's thing, so I guess she shouldn't count on that. Besides, Daria's angel might be too busy playing his string thing to notice her peril.

Speaking of peril, I don't recommend anyone celebrate World Farm Animals Day using Rita's boyfriend Roger's method, which is to land on a cow in a tragic skydiving accident. Instead, take Daria's example and write an essay comparing the sophomore class to barnyard animals. Name names.

Fandom News!

• R.I.P., Kris Kristofferson.

Whodunnit?

Daria's recreating the opening scene of the series Murder, She Wrote, which premiered on this day in 1984. I'm glad she went with a new outfit, because riding a bike in a skirt is possible, but comes with its own special challenges.

It could be that she's only on a bike because she wants to get as far away as possible from everyone else for National Love People Day. After all, she...well...doesn't.

Someone should tell Ted that it's National Chewing Gum Day, and perhaps offer him a slice of Juicy Fruit. He might even be ready to handle the hard stuff: Dubble Bubble.

Fanfic Update!

• Spider Quinn 12 Rise of the Green Goblin, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 3): "While Quinn was looking at the Schloss Morgendorffer architectural blueprints, Norman Osborn was looking at the engineering blueprints for the prototype glider. It was perfect for his needs."

Who Ya Gonna Call?

It seems that a new Ghostbusters team has assembled just in time for National Ghost Hunting Day, and I hope they start by taking care of Tommy Sherman's ghost in the girls' bathroom. I gotta admit, I kind of want to read a fanfic of Mack, Kevin, Trent, and Upchuck hunting ghosts. Anyone willing to write it?

Since today is also National Hunting and Fishing Day, I hope no one feels like they have to limit themselves to hunting the spirits of the dead. I have to wonder, if you capture the ghost of a fish, does that mean you're a ghost fisher?

If you think that question was dumb, then that's good because it's Ask a Stupid Question Day! I should probably leave that kind of thing to professionals like Kevin and Brittany, though, because it's about the only thing they're good at.

Fandom News!

• Vote in the poll about the Lawndale High Message board "Like" button.


• Read and discuss a new Daria interview.

The Apple Doesn't Fall Far From the QB

Kevin's cheerfully planting apple trees in honor of Johnny Appleseed Day, or at least I hope that's what he's doing. With his brain power, he might be trying to plant jelly beans.

Fruit would be an excellent addition to your morning meal for Better Breakfast Day, although the Morgendorffers will probably stick with sugar tarts and cereal. Maybe Helen will cook some more imaginary pancakes to celebrate National Pancake Day, though! Just remember Quinn's advice: don't eat "the first pancake off the stove. You have to feed one to the dog."

Despite that absolutely awful statement she made to the three Js, they'll most assuredly still send her gifts and proclamations of their affection, and not only because it's Love Note Day. Frankly, it wouldn't surprise me at all to learn that Quinn sends love notes to herself.

Fanfic Update!

• Crystal Claw, by Sheila Wisz Ellayn (part 42): "If there was a date every year that really scrambled Lawndale up like nothing else could, it was indeed that very last night that October shared with the very first hours of November."


• Reverse the Chase, by BracedRhombus (part 9): "'Who can tell me the answer to question five?' asked Mr. Aldridge. Charlene's hand shot up like a rocket. She glanced around the room—hers was the only one raised."

Brought to You By the Letter "D"

This terrifying Daria/muppet hybrid wants everyone to know that today is the anniversary of the late Jim Henson's birth in 1936. Henson left behind an amazing legacy, but the most fandom-relevant ones would be Mike Xeno's D is for Daria and Erin M's The Muppet Show: Cynicism & Violence.

On a less wholesome note, today is also the anniversary of Nirvana's Nevermind album, which was released on this day in 1991. It had a huge impact on the music scene at the time, inspired Trent to do a rare cover song, and also was instrumental in promoting grunge--to Quinn's utter disgust.

Today is also National Punctuation Day but I dont think Ill be celebrating this one You see Im totally rebellent that way

Fandom News!

• Vote in the poll about the party incident with Brad and Brett Ruttheimer.

In a Hole in the Ground There Lived a Lawyer

Helen's trying to celebrate Hobbit Day but it's hard to get into the spirit while holding a misshapen hunk of wax. Feel free to either have a second breakfast or go on a massive adventure with a bunch of dwarves; the choice is yours!

However, nothing would be more Hobbit-like than staying home, nice and cozy, especially because it's National Girls’ Night In Day. Maybe the Fashion Club can have another sleepover! And Helen can absolutely mortify Quinn even further by showing off her candle.

It will be Stacy's turn to be mortified when she finds out it's National Legwear Day and she's wearing stretch pants! With luck Sandi will be in a charitable mood and can reassure her that they're actually leggings.

Fanfic Update!

• Convergence on Lawndale, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 11): "Kaelyn started preparing the snacks. She did so quickly and efficiently, but she made each one slightly different."


• Spider Quinn 12 Rise of the Green Goblin, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 2): "Daria paused. She knew Jane was hiding something. But she didn’t want to give Sandi the satisfaction."

This Won't End Well

I'm afraid Kevin has gotten the wrong idea for National Punch Day, because it's supposed to be about the beverage and not hitting people. Not to worry, though, as Robert will soon be turning the tables on him.

Once Kevin regains consciousness someone had better keep an eye on him because it's National Concussion Awareness Day and he can't afford to lose any more brain function. I'm sure Tommy Sherman has more than a passing familiarity with this one, or at least he did before he had that unfortunate incident with the memorial goalpost.

I think it might be best to just put aside all of the violence and celebrate National Pepperoni Pizza Day instead. Jane and Daria will most likely be joining in, even if the restaurant adds that extra quart of grease to the recipe.

Fandom News!

• Discuss the man who sued his victim for damages after stealing their Vespa scooter and crashing it.

Get! Burger!

Amelia is so happy to be celebrating Locate An Old Friend Day, but Daria definitely doesn't feel that the feeling is mutual. I suspect she'll be celebrating Hide From an Old Friend Day before the end of the day.

Let's hope Skip has fired up the grill for National Cheeseburger Day, although I think we can all live without his highly-detailed system. I recommend eating the burger, but you can always follow Daria's lead by putting it into your boots to enjoy the squishy feeling.

Finally, on this day in 1999 Kara Wild published the essay "Amy: Savior or Chimera?" It's an interesting take on Daria's favorite aunt that was written mid-series, so enjoy a glimpse into what fandom speculation was like before the end of the show.

Fanfic Update!

• Crystal Claw, by Sheila Wisz Ellayn (part 41): "The mighty black wolves howled to a gray sky as the lady of green eyes rode so fast through Sallakovia, all the dangers of the forest and the mountains shook in fear of her presence alone, she would arrive back home soon enough and the portraits and letter were indeed safe and sound deep in a pocket of her cloak."

Don't Let Mom Miss the Guacamole!

I see that Jake is fully embracing National Guacamole Day, but I hope he comes up for air long enough to dip some chips in it or something. Helen, meanwhile, might celebrate later. After she hangs up the phone and dials 911.

I hope someone wakes up Trent and tells him that today is National Tattoo Story Day and he should take the opportunity to share the message that his tattoo sends. Of course, that message is "I got a tattoo out of a magazine," so don't get your hopes up.

Quinn will be pleased to know that today is Stay Away From Seattle Day, because I don't think she ever truly forgave them for that--ugh--grunge. As long as she's finally figured out that Washington is a state and not the nation's capital, everything should be fine.

Fandom News!

• Share songs that could have been about Jodie's upbringing.


• ddakl has a translation-related question about a comment from "Daria Day 1998."

Someone Make Sure Lindy Celebrates This One!

Jesse has clearly missed the entire point of National Sober Day, but in his defense it isn't the first thing to fly right over his head. Jake might want to celebrate this one, as we know how badly things go if he has too many martinis...or too much sake, for that matter.

At the very least he shouldn't drink on an empty stomach, and what better choice than a sweet pastry for National Cream-Filled Donut Day? Jane and Daria could meet up at Do Me a Donut and figure out which of them is the more twisted little cruller.

In fandom history news, Daria appeared in an issue of "People Weekly" on this day in 1998 in order to judge the best and worst dressed people of the year. While "fashion" isn't the first thing you'd think of with Daria, judging is definitely quite on brand for her.

Fanfic Update!

• Heavenly wine and roses, by riotsquirrrl (part 3): "The alarm beeps and Daria hits snooze four times before Helen opens the door to her room. A look of concern crosses her face."


• Homecoming, by davidfalkayn (part 31): "'So...where’s your mother and the brats, Sandi?' Quinn asked, her eyes scanning the room as she and her fellow Fashion Club member sat on the sofa watching a 'Lawndale’s Top Model' marathon on the television."


• The Memorial Dance Incident, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 1): "It was an ordinary day at Lawndale High School. Brittany Taylor was bored. Just painting what one saw wasn’t interesting. She preferred it if it was more interesting."


• Reverse the Chase, by BracedRhombus (part 8): "'Who can tell me the answer to question five?' asked Mr. Aldridge. Charlene's hand shot up like a rocket."


• Spider Quinn 12 Rise of the Green Goblin, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 1): "Norman Osborn threw aside the latest Sun-Herald in disgust. More reports of crime that hadn’t been foiled by SpiderGirl or those two new vigilantes."

A Good Day for Cannibal Frag Fest

Daria's having a great National Video Games Day, although it might be time to put away the first person shooter and do some writing. Ted, meanwhile, is probably immersed in a virtual reality world...as usual.

Still, let's all be supportive of people playing video games or doing anything else they choose, because it's National Day of Encouragement and we should lift others up. Just don't use Helen's method: "We tell you over and over again that you're wonderful and you just...don't...get it! What's wrong with you?!"

I don't think anyone should encourage Daria to smile if she doesn't want to, though, because even if it's National School Pictures Day she only smiles if she has a reason. I'd be interested in seeing her produce a list of things that would make her smile, but I suspect it's very short.

Fandom News!

• R.I.P., James Earl Jones.

Who's a Good Boy?

We see here Rin Tin Tin look-alike Leary III paying tribute to the famous TV dog, who was born on this day in 1918. Like Leary, Rin Tin Tin had multiple successors and in fact appears to have made it to number twelve. No idea which Leary the Yeagers are up to at this point, though.

If you'd like to watch some old Rin Tin Tin episodes, be sure to have the appropriate meal while you do so. It's TV Dinner Day, and you can be sure that Jane will be participating...unless she's saving that for Thanksgiving.

Fanfic Update!

• Spider Quinn 11 The Huntsmans, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (COMPLETE!): "Peterson and SpiderGirl entered the hospital room, and saw that Sarah Robyn was reading a book that she had found in the room."


• Washington Field Trip (Daria Ravenclaw: Loose Snippets), by Meester_Lee (COMPLETE!): "Returning to the States after her stay with Great-Grandfather Arcturus was disorienting, especially since she was not only transitioning from Britain back to the US, but back to the non-magical part of the United States." (Part 2) (Part 3)

Doesn't Anyone in Lawndale Have a NICE Grandma?

I see Grandma Lane is telling Jane that it's Grandparents' Day, although I don't think she needed to tell her with quite that much volume. With any luck Grandma Ruth will just stay home today and not throw the Morgendorffer house into upheaval again.

If she does show up, Helen could always try to impress her with her famous oatmeal pumpkin seed loaf, or rather she could have if she hadn't given her bread machine away. Instead, perhaps she could celebrate Date Nut Bread Day by trying a new recipe. It can't be worse than Jake's kitchen experiments, can it? Hmm. Don't answer that.

It might be better for everyone if they just get out of the house and go to a fun event like the Starry Night Ball, which took place on this day in whatever year Is It Fall Yet? took place. Then again, at $1,000 a couple I think they might want to take their chances with the passive-aggressive grandmother.

Take a Look, It's in a Book!

Daria is suggesting that you celebrate Read a Book Day, but not so much for the enrichment it will provide and more for the hope that it will encourage you to leave her alone. I think it goes without saying that Daria and indeed most of the Daria fandom will be participating in this one, today and every other day as well.

However, try not to use reading as an excuse to put off any important tasks, because it's Fight Procrastination Day! I'll definitely fight procrastination...later on.

I guess you could call me lazy, but that's okay because it's also National Lazy Mom’s Day and I qualify! I don't think Helen will be joining me for this one, though.

Extra, Extra!

I hope Jake remembered to thank the person who delivered his morning newspaper for Newspaper Carrier Day, because without a newspaper carrier Jake wouldn't be able to read the news...which stresses him out...and puts strain on his heart...and potentially shortens his lifespan. Hmm. Maybe we should see if the newspaper carrier would be willing to skip the Morgendorffer house, at least occasionally.

Instead of freaking out about the news, Jake could have a nice snack for National Macadamia Nut Day, even though he prefers cashews. Daria knows where he can buy nuts by the bunch, and if she doesn't smile then the nuts are free!

On this day in 1997, Daria and Jane made a (very) brief cameo on the MTV Video Music Awards. And when I say "brief," I mean don't even blink.

Fandom News!

• Vote in the poll: Is Helen a bad mother?

Calendar Girl

Quinn is checking to make sure the family calendar is correct for Calendar Adjustment Day, but I don't think she has anything to worry about. On Daria, every day is somehow May 12, so there isn't much adjusting required.

Today, however, is Labor Day so if you have the day off then be sure to enjoy it but also thank the labor movement for making it possible! I suppose it goes without saying that Helen will be working, but no one is surprised by that.

If Daria feels like taking another chance on Axl's, she could get her ears pierced in celebration of Pierce Your Ears Day. Just don't bring Trent along, because that never ends well.

Fanfic Update!

• Reverse the Chase, by BracedRhombus (part 6): "When they finally pulled up to Charlene's house, she let out a breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding. 'Made it.'"


• Spider Quinn 11 The Huntsmans, by cfardellbrenorenz29 (part 4): "The team moved quickly, knocking the Shadow and Ninja Talon aside, and using their moves to avoid SpiderGirl’s webbing."

The Cask of Canned Peaches

The Morgendorffers and the Landons have the right idea for National Eat Outside Day, but I hope that they notice one of the Morgendorffers is not outside. In fact, she isn't eating, either, unless she finds a can opener soon.

If Daria wants to sue for wrongful imprisonment, she should contact her mother and be extra nice because it's Love Litigating Lawyers Day! Helen can sometimes be difficult to love, but there's no denying she is an awesome attorney.

Daria and Jane made an appearance in an installment of "The New Adventures of Bobbin" on this day in 2001. The original post is no longer available, but you can still view it courtesy of The Wayback Machine.

Smooth Criminal Lawyer

Helen is doing her best moonwalk for the anniversary of the late Michael Jackson's birth on this day in 1958. Although the musician's life was full of controversy, there's no denying the impact he had on pop culture.

I'm sure Kevin is much more interested in National Sports Day, and while I have no doubt his first choice would be football I expect that any event where a bunch of guys run around a field would appeal to him. Even better if someone gets hurt by the end of it.

It's also International Bat Night, but not the kind of bat you use in sports. This holiday is about the kind of bat that likes to sleep upside-down and spread rabies or, as Jane would put it, her preferred career goals.

Fanfic Update!

• Reverse the Chase, by BracedRhombus (part 4): "Daria and Jane stared in shock, unable to fully process what had just happened."

Ka-Ching!

I see that the Daria character who least needs it has won big on International Lottery Day, and I can only hope he's ready to share. Daria's still got her eye on that cabin in Montana, after all.

Kevin, meanwhile, will probably enjoy Banana Lovers Day thanks to his love of nutty butter and banana sandwiches. Hopefully this one will be free of cyanide!

On this day in 2000, Is It Fall Yet? first aired. Immediately after, the Daria Post-Movie Chat took place. The questions were...lively...and give some fun insights into what fandom was like almost 25 years ago.

Fandom News!

• ddakl wonders about the green thing on Daria's bookshelf.


• The 2024 Completed Daria Fanfiction (so far) list has been posted.

Snip, Snip, Eep!

Brittany looks a bit nervous about her chosen method of celebrating director Tim Burton's birthday, and I'd say she has every reason to be. Never mind being able to pick up her pom-poms; she'll be risking her life every time she tries to twirl her hair around her finger!

Nobody tell the Fashion Club that today is National Secondhand Wardrobe Day, because I suspect that they would be horrified at the idea of wearing any clothing that someone else wore first. They also, according to "The Old and the Beautiful," have a serious problem with donating any of their old clothes to be worn by others.

Let's all hope that Tom and Daria don't decide to celebrate Kiss and Make-Up Day. I know they had their share of fights, but kissing only ever seemed to get them into trouble.

Fanfic Update!

• A Dumbass and The Cynic, by janendaria4life (part 2): "After a couple of dreadful hours, Kimberly finally rose to her feet and opened the doors of the Highland library, traipsing to the parking lot that was slowly growing darker, where she had expected her friends to be."


• Reverse the Chase, by BracedRhombus (part 2): "True to her word, Daria arrived at Casa Lane right at noon. A disheveled Jane greeted her at the door."


• Spider Quinn 11 The Huntsmans, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 3): "It didn’t take long for the cheerleading team to arrive in Middlebury, which was a little over 10 miles from Lawndale."

Like, HELP!

I don't think Sandi has quite gotten the point of Ride the Wind Day, and I suspect the trip is about to become far less enjoyable. Someone go check and see if Quinn has an alibi, okay?

It's possible that Sandi is actually celebrating Cheap Flight Day, but any flight that costs you your life is anything but cheap. I hope Jake doesn't feel obligated to board any airplanes (or hot air balloons) because with his fear of heights it would be a pretty rough journey.

It would probably be best for everyone if they just observed Find Your Inner Nerd Day instead, although I'm sure Sandi would rather plummet to her death. Daria's got this one covered; she's always been in touch with both her inner and outer nerd.

Fandom News!

• R.I.P., Phil Donahue.

Always Wear Your Sunscreen!

Brittany's paying a visit to Better Days Nursing Home for Senior Citizen’s Day, and I have no doubt that she'll be as popular there as she is at school...possibly because her high-pitched voice can likely be heard by even the deafest residents. Maybe Daria will visit Mrs. Blaine with her latest Melody Powers story, because who doesn't enjoy an appreciative audience--or at least an audience who pretends to be appreciative?

Happy birthday to the American Bar Association, which was founded on this day in 1878. I'm sure Helen would be happy to know that one of the cornerstones of her profession is still going strong, although I wouldn't expect her to take any time off to celebrate.

Finally, let's hope Quinn doesn't decide to celebrate National Poets Day, especially because I'm not sure that the words she generates actually count as poetry. I'd even rather listen to Andrea's poems than that greasy fry opus.

Fanfic Update!

• Crystal Claw, by Sheila Wisz Ellayn (part 40): "At first, the shaken Quinn could do nothing but to stay there in silence, crying and shivering in the shadows as her once safe refuge threatened to fall and collapse at any moment."


• A Dumbass and The Cynic, by janendaria4life (COMPLETE!): "It was a normal day in Highland High School, and Daria Morgendorffer was sitting at her seat in Mr. Van Drisessen's classroom."


• Reverse the Chase, by BracedRhombus (part 1): "'Hello, ladies!' A smarmy voice cut into Daria and Jane’s discussion about their weekend plans."

Bake 'Em, Mash 'Em, Stick 'Em in a Stew!

Mr. O'Neill is taking an unusual method to celebrate National Potato Day, and it's quite fitting as well: his head is empty as either a plastic toy or a teacher. If Jake decides to go the "Angela's Ashtray" route by feeding the family potatoes, I hope he remembers to order the correct steak to serve with them.

Jane, meanwhile, can take some pictures of spuds for World Photography Day, because she was always quite handy with a camera. Especially if Daria was involved and doing something particularly embarrassing.

I suppose she should take pity on her friend, though, because it's World Humanitarian Day and therefore a great day to show compassion. Note to the Fashion Club, though: it takes more than a pitiful clothing drive haul or a mirror plaque to qualify as a philanthropist.

Fandom News!

• R.I.P., Wally Amos.


• Discuss an article by Loretta Swit on the current state of TV.


• cfardell_Brenorenz29 posted a new Iron Chef: The Unmentioned Lawndale.

Back When Dystopias Were Found in the Fiction Section

Young Daria would clearly much rather read than attend camp, but in her defense today is the anniversary of Animal Farm's publication in 1945. Bad news for Daria; I think she's about to find out that all campers are equal, but some campers are more equal than others.

Helen and Jake should know that today is also Baby Boomers Recognition Day, and they should be, well, noticed. Helen referred to herself as a Boomer in Is It College Yet? but I really don't think Baby Boomers are in any danger of being ignored.

On this day in 1997, Daria appeared in The Chicago Tribune's TVWeek with an interview with Glenn Eichler, Susie Lewis, and Abby Terkuhle. The latter's "What separates 'Beavis and Butt-head' from 'Daria' is a lot of brain cells" quote still amuses me no end.

Fanfic Update!

• Run, Timmy, Run, by wilddogjj (part 2): "Quinn's Cadillac was going home. Inside, Quinn was driving while Jim rode shotgun. The triplets were in the back. Timmy was visibly nervous while Tommy, Jim and Quinn were all visibly upset."


• Spider Quinn 11 The Huntsmans, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 2): "While O’Neill was drawing names from a box, Ms. Li was looking up information on the competition in Middlebury."

"What a good day to just kick back and chill!"

Helen and Jake are sure making the most of International Relaxation Day, but I don't expect it to last. They're both entirely too high-strung to be able to keep calm and peaceful for much more than a couple of minutes. Still, let's leave them to enjoy what little time they have before Helen's phone rings and ruins it, shall we?

For those looking for less peaceful pursuits, Alternapalooza began on this day in (most likely) 1997. While Daria and the gang never quite made it to the festival, they sure had an interesting adventure along the way. In the "interesting times" sense of interesting, that is.

Perhaps not coincidentally, the Woodstock music festival also began on this day, only in 1969. Jake ended up going to Altamont instead, but perhaps that's just as well. Woodstock's peace and love groove wouldn't have fit his personality well, as established previously re: his ability to relax.

Fandom News!

• Discuss the charity that unknowingly distributed meth-laced candy.

No, Brittany, Your OTHER Left!

Brittany needs a little time to figure out whether or not she should be celebrating Left Handers Day, because if she has to take remedial art then she needs to prepare for the worst. As someone who lives with two left-handed people, all the southpaws out there have my sympathy for all of the smeared ink and uncomfortable school desks you've had to endure. Let's all give the lefties in fandom a hand! (Get it?)

Of course, I mean giving them a hand figuratively, not literally, even though it's World Organ Donation Day. As pointed out by Daria and Jane, organ donation is the one facet of life where you aren't judged by your looks. Unless it's your eyes.

Finally, happy birthday to the late Alfred Hitchcock, who was born on this day in 1899. He was considered a master of suspense, and we know Tom was a fan because he invited Daria to see Rope at a Hitchcock festival in Is It College Yet? Surprisingly, I haven't been able to find any fanfic crossovers with Hitchcock movies, but I bet it would be fun. Anyone want to give it a try?

Fanfic Update!

• Complicated, by janendaria4life (part 1): "Daria, during the summer after her eventful graduation, decides to take a return to Lawndale."


• Full Green Jacket, by Kristen Bealer (COMPLETE!): "'So, the three of you understand what you're supposed to do?' Sandi asked the three Js slowly, looking without optimism at their cheerful but dumb faces."


• Home is Where the Heart Is, by RadioFox (COMPLETE!): "The early morning sun beamed through the window. The birds chirped, combining into a beautiful song. Inside, Jane slowly opened her blue eyes and looked around. Helen and Daria were still sleeping beside her."


• Lucy in the Sky with Daria, by Blake C Stacey (BlakeStacey) (COMPLETE!): "Daria steps into the room and out of her coat. She launches the latter at the armchair and curls over to begin untying her boots."


• Run, Timmy, Run, by wilddogjj (part 1): "A bunch of eleven- and twelve-years old boys are taking turns demonstrating their football skills on the field while the head coach, a dark-haired man in his mid-thirties, watches and takes notes."


• Spider Quinn 11 The Huntsmans, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 1): "'Good Morning, Students! I’m proud to announce that the annual La-awndale High Spelling Bee will be held this Friday!'"