The Dog Days of Summer

I see that the bulldog that fanon has named "J.B." is ready to enjoy National Dog Day with an especially celebratory stick. As long as he can avoid any teenage drivers-in-training, he should be just fine! Let's also wish a happy day to whichever Leary the Yeagers are up to these days.

Daria, meanwhile, may choose to observe National Toilet Paper Day by doing another emergency run for Jake...assuming she can keep track of her bag this time. Halloween may have her own toilet paper-related plans that involve driving to a wealthy neighborhood. Don't forget the eggs!

Ms. Barch will be interested to know that today is Women’s Equality Day, and I'm sure she'll have a few words to say on the subject. Let's be honest; I'm sure she has many words to say on the subject. At top volume. To anyone who will listen.

Fandom News!

• View the video that asks, what if Daria was made in 2024?

Amelia Airhead

Quinn is prepped and ready to follow in Amelia Earhart's footsteps by flying solo nonstop across the United States. Earhart's milestone flight began on this day in 1932, and the next day she became the first woman to do just that. For Quinn's sake, I hope the Fashion Club doesn't see what she's wearing. I mean, jodhpurs? With her figure? Not. Done.

Trent, meanwhile, could recreate his attempts to write a used car jingle in honor of International Strange Music Day, but I'm not sure Jane could handle the mystery and suspense. Besides, anything Mystik Spiral plays is "strange music" as far as I'm concerned.

On this day in 2000, a TV Guide Online column came out that talked about the (then) upcoming Is It Fall Yet? movie with Daria. Read on to find out about Daria's admiration for yo-yo tricks!

Fanfic Update!

• Defenestration for Fun and Pleasure, by AFishOnAChemical (COMPLETE!): "Jane is always good at mentioning things off-hand. Important things."


• Her Last Words, by Sheila Wisz Ellayn (part 96): "It was January the 3rd of Somewherelsian year 2118."


• Spider Quinn 18 A Birthday and Stormy Sonnets, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 3): "SpiderGirl arrived at the cemetery and looked around her father’s grave. Nothing. 'Good,' she thought."

Warm Up to Sing in that Heavenly Choir!

I don't know who Daria and Jane think they're fooling on Be an Angel Day, but anyone who knows either of them (or has been on the receiving end of their snark) knows better than to believe appearances. I hope Quinn's guardian angel isn't too busy playing his string thing to protect Quinn from any jeans-related emergencies.

In other winged creatures news, today is National Tooth Fairy Day, so be sure to check under your pillow for money. Let's hope Metal Mouth finds a shiny new set of non-metal teeth under his pillow, because he's got to be sick of Cyndi Lauper by now.

Happy birthday to the late Dorothy Parker, who was born on this day in 1893. I don't think there's much doubt that Daria would be a fan, and many would even consider her to be a spiritual successor to the sarcastic writer.

Fandom News!

• Vote in the Deathmatch poll between Yor Briar/Forger and Osaragi.


• cfardell_Brenorenz29 posted a new Iron Chef: Doppleganger Rival.

"What does science know?"

It looks like Al Roker, or a weatherman who looks a lot like him, has a forecast for us all on his 71st birthday. As long as he isn't calling for a hurricane during the big Lawndale High pep rally, everything should be fine.

If the town does get blown away, the rest of us can hunker down in safety and listen to our radios for National Radio Day! Just don't tune into Bing and the Spatula Man if you value your sanity. Radio fans can also check out Ken Tremberth and Erin Mills's collection of "Free Radio Lawndale" fanfics! (Kids, "radio" is what podcasts were back in the olden days.)

Finally, happy birthday to the late author H. P. Lovecraft, born on this day in 1890. Not only was Daria likely a fan of his horror works, welltemperedclavier wrote two Daria/Lovecraft crossovers: "Minds Touched by Madness" and its sequel "Quinn in Yellow."

Fanfic Update!

• Her Last Words, by Sheila Wisz Ellayn (part 95): "The white and violet stars twinkled in a crystalline sky, it was december the 27th already and Anna celebrated that everything had worked far better than expected that night!"


• I (Don't) Want to Be a Part of It, by ladyevil (part 10): "'Would you look at that?' Jane said, looking up at the spires of Trinity Church. 'This old Gothic architecture really makes the building stand out next to these glass and steel boxes.'"


• Spider Quinn 18 A Birthday and Stormy Sonnets, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 2): "Straight after they finished their meal, Daria and Jane went to the art staffroom, where they found Ms. Dafoe."


• Star Trek: Voyager Alone, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 1): "USS Voyager NCC 74656 entered the Badlands. She examined the data that her sensors were collecting on the plasma storms."


• Timmy the Bully, by wilddogjj (part 1): "Two of Quinn's three sons, Tommy and Timmy were walking the halls. They were accompanied by their best friend Kevin Junior. The three boys were talking about the upcoming weekend."

"Poems don't even have to rhyme. How easy is that?"

Andrea is ready to entertain everyone with one of her masterpieces for Bad Poetry Day! If you think "entertain" is the wrong word, just keep in mind that the alternative is Quinn "Greasy Fry" Morgendorffer.

I'd even take Quinn's poetry over Jane's singing, though, based on her rendition of "Old MacDonald" in "Jane's Addition," which aired on this day in 1999. That, of course, was the worst thing ever to come out of that episode and I will be taking no questions at this time.

On a suspiciously unrelated note, today is also National Couple's Day, so anyone in a relation-date-ship-thing should spend some quality time together. Tom and his car, however, can just keep his distance from everyone just to be on the safe side.

Strike a Pose!

Helen is getting in touch with her inner diva in honor of Madonna's 67th birthday. For even more Daria/Madonna crossovers, check out the late (and much missed) Kem's The Ten Faces Of Madonna.

Let's also wish a happy birthday to director James Cameron, who was born on this day in 1954. One of Cameron's best-known movies was Titanic, and Mr. O'Neill was able to recreate one of its most famous moments with two different women in "Just Add Water." Of course, one of those women ended up shoved overboard, but no moment is perfect.

Do you know why the punchline crossed the road? To celebrate Tell a Joke Day! Let's hope Jake figures out how to do just that before the end of the holiday.

Fanfic Update!

• But You're a Cheerleader, by Bolshevitch (COMPLETE!): "Lawndale High School student Brittany Taylor is your average all-American girl, red-blooded as they come. She’s captain of the cheerleading team, member of the French club, and an overall frequent face in the halls of our school."


• Dirty Little Secret, by wilddogjj (COMPLETE!): "Kevin has just angrily charged into the house while Brittany and her brother, Brian, were taking a stroll down Memory Road."


• Goddamnit, not again!, by Radioactivealien_404 (COMPLETE!): "It was one of those rare, almost pleasant spring evenings in Lawndale, the kind when the light slants just right and the air smells faintly of blooming something-or-other."


• This Springtime Eden, by Bolshevitch (COMPLETE!): "After the show, Brittany still rambles delightedly about the trick with the dove flying out the hat. Daria’s just trying to pick all the feathers out of her hair."

Maybe Jane Still Has That Rollerball

I think that Daria is going to want to celebrate National Tattoo Removal Day now that she and Tom have broken up. On the bright side, now she can get a new tattoo, perhaps one from a magazine. I'm sure Trent has a few she could borrow for inspiration.

Given her pain tolerance (or lack thereof), Daria would probably rather observe Love Your Bookshop Day instead. Doesn't matter if it's a local used bookshop or Books By the Ton; if they sell books then she'll be happy!

Happy birthday to Doc Holliday, who was born on this day in 1851 and is significant to fandom because of his role in the gunfight at the O.K. Corral. Not to be confused with the O.K. to Cry Corral, which was probably far less appealing than being shot at by horse thieves.

Fandom News!

• R.I.P., Danielle Spencer.

I Suppose You Could Celebrate With Headlocks

I see that Sandi's younger brothers are busy celebrating International Youth Day by trying to kill each other, but I suspect that's not really a special occasion kind of thing. Based on their mutual animosity, I'd be surprised if either of them lived past youth, honestly.

We should wish a happy Middle Child Day to Sam Griffin in particular, though, being the second-born of three kids. Today would also be a day for either Helen or Rita, depending on who you think is the middle kid.

Trent, meanwhile, despite being a middle child, will probably be more interested in observing National Vinyl Record Day, especially if he still has his Zappa albums. "It's a richer tone."

Fanfic Update!

• Dirty Little Secret, by wilddogjj (parts 1 and 2): "Brittany was having a dress fitting at a bridal shop. Quinn, Stacy and Nicole were there as well. Brittany marveled at her reflection in the mirror as the white dress was truly stunning." (Part 2)


• Her Last Words, by Sheila Wisz Ellayn (part 94): "Everything seemed like just a dream when Lockie Allyngard opened her eyes the following day."


• Spider Quinn 18 A Birthday and Stormy Sonnets, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 1): "The teenage girl approached the grave site at sunset while fog was settling in. The headstone read. Jacob Elias Morgendorffer June 23, 1952 – November 4, 2000"

Hot as Helen

I guess Helen likes her toasted marshmallows very well done, but that's fine because it's National S'mores Day and every marshmallow tastes great if you add enough chocolate to it! Just maybe put out the fire before you eat it.

The only problem is that toasting the marshmallow and assembling the s'more is a lot of work, especially for Lazy Day. Trent probably considers this his favorite holiday, although I'm sure he sleeps through it every year.

There won't be any laziness for the Lawndale High Football team, particularly because it's World Lion Day and the Lions can't let down their school! Although they do let it down pretty regularly, like when Kevin hurt his knee and quit the team or purposely blew a play for an assignment or...wait, are we sure Kevin is an asset to the team?

Fandom News!

• Vote in the Celebrity Deathmatch poll between George Jefferson and Fred Sanford.


• R.I.P., Jim Lovell.

Me-OW!

Mr. O'Neill has chosen an odd way to celebrate International Cat Day, but far be it from me to judge anyone's personal hobbies. Seriously, between this and his antics as the Lawndale Lions mascot, I'm starting to wonder about some of his extracurricular activities....

Setting aside Ms. Barch's current boyfriend, I think it's very likely that her ex-husband is celebrating International Beer Day, perhaps by adding to his pyramid made of "Beers of the World" empties. I'm sure it's an engineering marvel by this point!

On this day in 2011, Racked published "Daria Morgendorffer's Greatest Retail Regret," an interview with Daria about her experience with buyer's remorse. Click the link to hear all about the baggy fleece jumpsuit that Daria regrets buying.

Fanfic Update!

• But You Always Knew the Truth, by riotsquirrrl (part 8): "'I hate writing artist statements,' Jane said, half hanging off her bed with the phone to her ear. It was already turning dark, even though it was only mid-afternoon."

Who's the Copycat Artist NOW?

Daria has gotten in touch with her inner artist in honor of the anniversary of Andy Warhol's birth on this day in 1928. Jane, meanwhile, has gotten in touch with her inner art subject and is probably silently critiquing Daria's technique.

If Trent ever got that job as a farmer paid not to grow crops, then let's wish him a happy Farmworker Appreciation Day! On second thought, we'd better not. It would be a shame to wake him up.

Happy birthday to the World Wide Web, which got its start on this day in 1991! I hope Jake gets the opportunity to log onto the world wide weberverse and check on the panda-cam.

Fandom News!

• R.I.P., Loni Anderson.

Will the Cookies be Heart-Shaped?

It looks like Helen and Rita are taking the easy route to celebrating National Chocolate Chip Cookie Day, but only if the chips are already in the dough. I figure, as long as there are chocolate chip cookies at the end of it, the day has been a success!

Note: this is my general philosophy on life every day.

Just make sure the cookies aren't suspicious, because it's the anniversary of the episode "The Lawndale File" in 1999 and you don't want those mysterious agents to come snooping. Oh, no! What if the cookies look like atomic communists from Mars?

The Call Is Coming From...Helen's Cell Phone!

It appears that Daria is already celebrating Campfire Day, but I don't think that her companions will enjoy the stories she's preparing to share. As long as there are s'mores, I'll be happy to stick around, though!

There will be bonus points if her stories include clowns in honor of National Clown Day, even (or especially) if the clowns are creepy. Even better, they could be dead clowns who (according to Mystik Spiral) can no longer clown. Just don't bother with the crying clown paintings, because Art in the Park has already done that theme into the ground.

On a less humorous note, the infamous episode "Dye! Dye! My Darling" aired on this day in 2000. Like any good scary story, it started with a girl getting into a car that she really shouldn't have entered.

I'm Sure She's More Qualified than Kevin and Brittany Were

I don't think that this Daria alter ego is quite...er...to scale, but it is appropriate for International Lifeguard Appreciation Day. As in, most of the boys at Lawndale High will find themselves appreciating Daria for the first time in their entire lives!

For those not interested in swimming or saving lives, there's always National Mutt Day! All of the dog lovers in fandom should find a nice puppy to cuddle with, and I hope that the Yeagers give Leary whatever-number-they're-on some nice scritches as well.

Fanfic Update!

• Funky Pretty, by MoleFromTheMinistry (part 10): "The most spectacular day for absolutely no one, and an eternal prison for mostly everyone."


• Spider Quinn 17 Tempestuous Origin of Mysterio, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (COMPLETE!): "Daria hung up from Jane, who had said that she would be at the Historia an hour before the play started."

The Lady AND the Tiger!

I'm not sure ceramic tigers are really in the spirit of International Tiger Day, but as Mack pointed out, they are grrrrrreat! Jane could take the opportunity to dye her hair with stripes again, but this time she had absolutely better get a professional to do it. No question.

If Jane wants to try a new look, perhaps she should consider celebrating National Lipstick Day instead. It's easier to apply and far less permanent. Daria, meanwhile, could have another "lollipop" to redden her lips if she's going to be spending time around Trent.

Regardless of what else happens today, it's a very good bet that dinner at the Morgendorffers' will include frozen lasagna and why not? It's National Lasagna Day, after all! It's also a day that ends in "Y," which is generally when the family has lasagna for dinner.

Finally, a big thank you to Azul for keeping the blog going while I was gone!

Fandom News!

• R.I.P., Ozzy Osbourne and Hulk Hogan.

Á Plus Tard

It's always pretty when you can denude of all pretense and just say, kiss me good-bye. 

My experience with this blog has been the anechoic loud ripple of my thoughts in vitro. It has been fun. 

But there is only so long of yourself you can take without an emetic choke, and I'm crushed under the weight of my own narcissism striated thin into a tat limousine dun and ready to whiplash my throat into applesauce. 

It has been boring as well. 

The state of this community is immutable by time spent in stasis. It's mostly all gone. 

It makes me sad I wasn't there in time to enjoy the show; when it was done I wasn't even born. How time works. 

When I took hold these past two weeks my words felt like me only by xerography; I was told to amount to certain parameters; to scrub the chiaroscuro and make it more claro than scuro. 

If you're a writer then you will know this is a ruin. Not the thought of optimistic idealism, but precisely the cinching of thought that makes prose spill in all the wrong directions. 

All of this with my willing consent of course. Kristen was very kind in her absence to let me scream my words into a megaphone without reproach, and I am very thankful to her. 

My problem is that I couldn't accommodate to the role very well. I am not that person. 

I don't loathe what I have written. I won't perorate over my lack of amour propre like cheap Dorothy Parker imitation. I'm glad I write; I love to have written. 

The piece is Miss Daria Lovett, by Korallrahu. 

Works: 

• "The 1002 Deaths Of Tom Sloane," page ten, by Lady Evil, Indigo, and WacoKid. 
• "Spider Quinn - Tempestuous Origins Of Mysterio, Part Nine," by Cfardell_Brenorenz29. 
• "Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Ever Have: How Did We Survive?" page seven, by Shiva and Sureia. 
• "Monique," by Radioactivealien_404. 
• "Is It Adulthood Yet?" chapters twenty and twenty-one, by Halliwell_P (Spanish). 
• "I (Don't) Want To Be A Part Of It," chapter ten, by Lady Evil. 

News: 

• Tafka reindexes her husband's work on her website for ease of access.

Wicked Introjection

There are times in life when you're going about your litany like a pastor reciprocrating the will of a God he doesn't know 

and there is this elope. 

A break in incipit cracking the fine silk of routine you were so comfortable in to quander on other topics or things. 

And I know I'm not rebranding a Willstätter synthetic here, but at many intervals there is the cross of thoughts in my mind and I wonder: 

What makes a person? 

Is it the arrangement of cerebral cortex, 

pituitary gland development, 

limbic system's stroke over social coordination? 

I mean the clinical answer is yes, but that's like asking what people think when they die; you know they think something unless it's a Vietnam vet case where taking a step to piss in the wrong bush means your friends are gonna have to rind you off the trees after a landmine's autothysis turned your blood to lacquer. 

But even then maybe you still died thinking of how much you wanted to take a piss and be home already and whatnot. 

Truth is more complicated than reason. 

People are chains of events; recollections carnated in the mind that taut flashbang reactions into a doctor's well-rehearsed cancer diagnosis by exposure. 

I think first there is the biology and from there we make everything else. 

My point is what's wrong with Sandi, you know? And yes I'm aware that I'm scaring you by talking about Daria, but I have to ask where did God put the bullet in her life that makes all she have pale in the face of her sadism: 

Mother, father, 

brothers that often like to frame her patience with her open skin but with whom she can't say there isn't the weight of siblinghood biting her rhetoric to accommodate around something less cruel than sinking her teeth into her friends' spirits to taste the metal 

and tear. 

That she was born that way is the excuser's answer and the one she'd probably give. Because she was conditioned that way. 

Reality is a sad answer if you're lucky. 

Works: 

• "Her Last Words," chapters ninety-one, ninety-two, and ninety-three, by Sheila Wisz Ellayn. 
• "I May Go Pop," chapters four and five, by Tafka. 
• "Am I Employed Yet?" by Ulatekh. 
• "Jodie," by Ulatekh. 
• "Heavenly Wine And Roses," chapter nine, by Riotsquirrrl. 
• "Is It Adulthood Yet?" chapter nineteen, by Halliwell_P (Spanish). 
• "Secrets Of Lawndale - Lawndale Below, Part One," by cfardell_brenorenz29. 

News: 

• Immediate American need for Iran war fodder. 
• Disaac wants proof-readers for his work. 
• Tafka's fair-use exposé of plot scraps. 

Art: 

• A piece confecting The Beauty And The Beast over a Batman template, by Britabird.

T'es Debout Tiens Sur Mon Cœur

Love is a complicated metaphor at the end of a sentence. 

It's not a philosophy to be studied past chemical reactions attached to the brain like carbon black ink under the skin. Not meant to be studied at all. 

It's not a human thing in exclusion, for all worthwhile things feel affection and aversion. 

A mother can love her child, a coward his own life, a drunk the bottle that brings the severance of memory from judgement. 

A little girl the letters from admirers not of her soul but of her body painted in the plain translucent white of the mind that has no boundaries or shame in rearranging it into something naked and afraid. 

People, ecstasy, Calvary; one can love all of these things, fear these things. Because Love is the fear of loss; the prescient memory of pain. 

Of the knowledge that there can come and will come the day the connection won't be there and what will remain is something cruel that spells life is fair only not to you. 

But what the hell do I know? I'm not going to trivialize emotions on a surgeon's table. 

Life is short and even shorter when it's lived. Enjoy. 

Works: 

• "Lawndale, Season Four," chapters eleven, twelve, and thirteen, by WildDogJJ. 

News: 

• Splendora's "You're Standing On My Neck" as manipulated in the season three premiere in the Français version of the show.

Mindless Orations

Today is one of those quiet days. 

The kind when you go to bed and back cannot be sure it really happened and not for a lack of effort to sharpen the nails at the brain's temple scraping for some bright memory of hollow significance but for how empty it was. 

Life's sequentialism is in celluloid colourless; moments left to fill in with the qualia of meaning coated in something flammable and prone to damage. 

Sometimes memories are the most important things we have left and we are to leave. We put ourselves in them in pieces and let other human beings we let close enough to touch reconcile the details as fractured chronograms. 

Like this piece for example: Even though the author is lost in identity but not presence we can rejoice their work twenty-four years later and even more. 

And it's a very pretty dress, a very pretty drawing. It makes me remember of the daydream Daria had imagining a world prettified by 19th century overalls and a sister with whom she could confer and display affection; meditating on this we can infer that this is not an idea but a fantasy. 

One where sororal acrimony dies and what now is there cannot be marred with enmity and discontent. 

In the end, what I'm trying to say is don't push the wrong people away. 

Works: 

• "Is It Adulthood Yet?" chapter eighteen, by Halliwell_P (Spanish).

Requiem For A Quinn

Heavy is the crown that fits heads so dense, and gray the days that Quinn's garbs don't make sharp testament of fashion reflex: 

How does she know that today is Hassanal Bolkiah's birthday? How? Is it because I inserted an image of her leaning in lentor? 

I think after stepping on a Waif with the enamel still fresh synapses flared the charcoal stains in her brain to paint her maudlin in grayscale. 

Very felicitous in any case that it is likewise National Clean Beauty Day. Of course all the week is litany in the same thing to her, but Barbies don't get to be played with when there isn't the reek of kanekalon modacrylic washed over too many fingerprints to count 

and other things I cannot say because I told Kristen I would hold my tongue. By the way I'm not Kristen, in case you didn't read the name. She will be back by the 29th on Tuesday. 

The art is a beautiful rendition by the late Amy Quinn née Whisenhunt, or KemicalReaxion. 

Works: 

• "Is It Adulthood Yet?" chapter seventeen, by Halliwell_P (Spanish).

...and the Horse She Rode In On

Daria has apparently made a new friend in time for National I Love Horses Day, which is really saying something after her less-than-fond memories of horses at Camp Grizzly. Hopefully this time the horse won't throw her in a river and require her to get stitches.

If Jane wants to change up her art medium from gummi bears, today's a great day for it because it's Gummi Worm Day! She should just be sure to either label them clearly or keep them out of Tom's reach when he's feeling peckish.

On a personal note, I will be leaving on vacation soon and will not resume posting until the end of the month. A big thank you to fellow fan Azul for stepping in to post in my absence!

Fanfic Update!

• But You're a Cheerleader, by Bolshevitch (part 3): "In the morning the Sun rises and shines through half-covered windows, but Daria doesn’t want to get up. Along with her slew of usual reasons, a relatively recent addition: she’s beginning to enjoy the company."


• Heavenly Wine and Roses, by riotsquirrrl (part 8): "Jane closes her door on the way into her bedroom. The sound causes Daria to look up in alarm as she realizes that she is alone. In a closed room. In an empty house. On Jane’s bed."


• Her Last Words, by Sheila Wisz Ellayn (part 90): "Avalon and Shadow strode side by side through deep and bright powder snow."


• Mysteries of Aurora, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 18): "Janara and Olivia were looking at the information on the remaining manuscripts. 'Most of these are from the same era,' Janara said."


• Not a Boy, Not Yet a Man, by wilddogjj (parts 1 and 2): "Quinn, Jim, the triplets and Aunt Amy were at the departure section of the main terminal at Philadelphia International Airport. All six of them had suitcases." (Part 2)


• Spider Quinn 17 Tempestuous Origin of Mysterio, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 8): "In the cabin, Jane was growing tired of waiting for rescue. She paused in her umpteenth defense of Daria and looked at the approaching storm."

You Could At Least Pluck it First!

I'm not sure if Mr. DeMartino is celebrating Embrace Your Geekness Day the old-fashioned way or if he's just really, really hungry. Given his financial situation, either is possible. I think Quinn would rather bite the heads off chickens herself than act geeky, but we have more than our share of geeks in fandom so I say flaunt it, everyone!

If raw chicken isn't your thing, might I recommend National French Fries Day instead? Daria and Jane will take theirs with a healthy (or unhealthy, to be accurate) serving of cheese!

At least the turkey legs in "Fair Enough," which aired on this day in 1998, were fully cooked. While you had to eat them with your bare hands and they didn't come with fries, they did make excellent projectiles against poor acting skills.

Born to be Mild

Mack has his hog gassed up and ready for National Motorcycle Day, but I hope Kevin leaves his in the garage. I don't think the Tommy Sherman Memorial Tree/Crutch could take any more punishment. Oh, and his knee might get hurt as well.

Meanwhile, Sandi might decide to swim a few laps in honor of National Swimming Pool Day, especially if she wants to avoid becoming "thinly challenged" again. I'm certain that Quinn will be happy to stand next to the pool and call her a cow--I mean, encourage her.

If Brittany doesn't have anything else going on, she could celebrate Cheer up the Lonely Day by visiting the seniors at Better Days Nursing Home. She could even use literal cheers if she'd like!

Fanfic Update!

• Brittany - Cafe of Contention, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 3): "Brittany thought about what DeMartino said as they moved on. That Ms. Li was lining her own pockets wasn’t surprising. But why were his funds meagre?"


• Greater Love, by arandomshipper (Giveadogabone) (COMPLETE!): "'Oh, Ben's here! Gotta go, guys.' Quinn waved happily to the other members of the fashion club, who watched with narrowed, dreamy, and blank eyes respectively as she flounced over to the car that had just pulled into the school parking lot."


• Her Last Words, by Sheila Wisz Ellayn (part 89): "As Anna Felicia skated with Avalon Skaellafek on Wallerstein Lake, she began to feel like the fear of losing her beautiful Lockie forever was withering away and a huge and terrible weight was slowly disappearing from her shattering back."


• I (Don't) Want to Be a Part of It, by ladyevil (part 9): "'Don’t get me wrong,' Trent sang and played guitar as LaWanda and her girls provided backup. 'Don’t get me wrong now! I only wanna know!' When the song reached its final crescendo, Sal clapped, prompting everyone else to clap."


• Spider Quinn 17 Tempestuous Origin of Mysterio, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 7): "Ninja Talon hadn’t been waiting long on the Hecuba-Croft’s roof when SpiderGirl arrived. 'Ready?' the former asked."

Shallow on the Inside

Quinn is the last person I would have expected to see portraying Courtney Love on the musician's 61st birthday, given that she doesn't seem to be wearing makeup and her hair appears to have very little bouncity-bounce. Mystik Spiral might consider taking her on as a singer, though, and with her (lack of) singing skills she'll fit right in!

However, it was a bad choice for Quinn to wear that outfit today, of all days, because it's Fashion Day and if the Fashion Club sees her wearing "that, that grunge" then her position as vice president will be over sooner than you can say "Hole." It's nice to see that she's finally forgiven our nation's capital, Seattle, for its style transgressions, though.

If you'd rather have a sweet treat than a grunge look, then I have good news for you because it's also National Sugar Cookie Day! Just steer clear of Daria, because her cookies come with a side of super-creepy smiling.

Fandom News!

• Would anyone like to post on the DFB2 blog while I'm on vacation?


• Vote in the Celebrity Deathmatch poll between Adam-12 and The Rookies.


• Check out Shady Doorags's review of "Daria!"

Somehow I Doubt Mystik Spiral Plays This One

Jake seems to be rethinking his decision to celebrate National Dive Bar Day, but at least he's getting out and making friends. I gotta say, a small town like Lawndale having not one, not two, but three dive bars (this one plus the Zon and McGrundy's) seems a little odd. What the heck is going on there?

I think Jake would have been better off celebrating World Chocolate Day instead, or at least he would if he could wrestle any of it away from Mrs. Johannsen. She's not one to tangle with; just ask Mr. DeMartino.

Both the episodes "Road Worrier" and "It Happened One Nut" first aired on this day in 1997 and 1999. There were no dive bars or chocolate in either, but we did see a greasy spoon in the first and peanuts hijacked Trent's brain in the second. "You've hijacked my brain, moth to a flame, if you don't release me it'll really be lame."

Eh. Still needs work.

Fanfic Update!

• Boston Sunset, by Yuuuutong (COMPLETE!): "The luckiest thing in Daria and Jane’s life maybe, after graduating from the senior high school, they went to Boston together."


• But You're a Cheerleader, by Bolshevitch (part 2): "It’s 6am and cold. Biting cold. Like God left his freezer open the whole night. Somehow your high school’s bus lot is never very thermally efficient."


• Daria Enrolls At Nevermore: An Experiment, by Meester_Lee (part 18): "After bringing up their luggage, Helen had an idea. 'Let’s take your bike,' she said. 'I assume that you want me to drive,' said Sirius."


• Her Last Words, by Sheila Wisz Ellayn (part 88): "All of Layndale and the nearby mountains endured three days of storm with heavy snow and lashing winds, and even though daylight had almost disappeared and the temperature had dropped to alarming levels, soon the storm passed as it followed a path to the North and everything began to slowly warm up."


• Telephone, by Bolshevitch (COMPLETE!): "'Picture this, Daria,' Jane leans beside her friend’s locker, watching her take out an armful of textbooks for English next period, 'me, you, and Kannibal Killers 4: the Re-Kannibalizing on VHS.'"

Anyone For a Trip to Bikini Island?

Andrea is just rocking that two-piece for International Bikini Day, but I hope Upchuck doesn't see her. Not because she would be embarrassed but because the boy would probably spontaneously combust on the spot.

Helen won't have time for buying or wearing swimsuits, though, because it's Work-a-holics Day and...well, I guess today won't actually be any different from any other day for her. Still, it must be nice to have your work-related insanity acknowledged one day out of every year!

Finally, it was on this day in 2000 that the episode "Mart of Darkness" first aired. Andrea wore a PayDay smock instead of a bikini, and she found common ground with Jane and Daria!

Don't Compliment That Girls Bathroom Mirror that Adds at Least Two Pounds!

Quinn's having a great Compliment Your Mirror Day, because no one flatters Quinn like...Quinn. This would be an especially bad time for Daria to have that funhouse nightmare, because it would be very difficult to compliment a horrific mutated version of yourself.

I just hope Quinn isn't too busy enjoying her own company to remember that today is also National Independent Beer Run Day and she has pressing duties as Keg Queen. First on the list is to figure out how a fourteen-year-old is going to be able to buy any amount of beer.

Daria will be happy to know that today is the anniversary of the birth of Franz Kafka in 1883. Not only did Daria have a poster of the writer in her room, but The Angst Guy wrote what is likely the only Kafka/Daria crossover, "I Never Metamorphosis I Didn't Like."

Fanfic Update!

• But You Always Knew the Truth, by riotsquirrrl (part 7): "Daria turned her legal pad face-down on Jane’s bed, flopping down fully onto it herself. 'Ugh. Nargh. Feh.'"


• But You're a Cheerleader, by Bolshevitch (part 1): "Daria knows being a good writer will bite her in the ass one day. She’s just hoping it’s a lot further down the line than Friday second period. In fact, it’s not."


• Graduation Ceremony, by Yuuuutong (COMPLETE!): "It’s on Jane’s university graduation ceremony. As an outstanding graduate, Jane headed towards the stage, a surge of strange feeling going down her spine, or maybe, that’s familiar."


• Her Last Words, by Sheila Wisz Ellayn (part 87): "After that delightful night of happiness and fun at Anna's seventeenth birthday, Lockie Allyngard had departed and she had vanished into the shadows of Starlight Castle once again."


• Spider Quinn 17 Tempestuous Origin of Mysterio, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 6): "The third of the previous applicants entered the bookstore. 'Let’s see. Dani Moreno, a sophomore at Lawndale State,' Quinn said."


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fanfic Should Have: How did We survive?), by JohnnyJB (COMPLETE!): "Mr. O'Neill: Nice day for a swim, isn't it! Mr. Demartino: Sure it is, except the SHARKS! and the JELLYFISH! and let's not forget the STINGRAYS! the BARRACUDAS! the ANGLERFISH! the EELs! the KILLER WHALES! the WHALE SHARKS! and let's be glad there aren't PIRANHAS or FLESH EATING BACTERIA!"

Who Wants Some Running Back Rocky Road?

Mack and Kevin have the right idea for Creative Ice Cream Flavors Day, as long as the idea is football-themed varieties of ice cream. I am totally ready to try some Firstdown Fudge; anyone else?

Of course, funny flavor names get extra bonus points because today is also International Joke Day! Maybe Jake will finally come up with a good gag to share, or at least figure out when Daria's serious or not.

If Jane's not in the laughing mood, she could always take another trip to see her friend the tiger in honor of American Zoo Day. On the other hand, that might bring back some unpleasant memories. Better stick with some ice cream to cheer her up instead.

A Rare Sweet Father-Daughter Moment

Jake and a very reluctant Daria are observing Hug Holiday, but if anyone outside Daria's immediate family tries to join in then they should watch out--Daria has been known to threaten lawsuits to thwart physical contact. Jane is an exception, however, as she's one of the few people Daria has voluntarily hugged in her life. And all it took was a traumatic car accident!

On the other hand, if Jane values her life she won't try to get this encounter on film, even if it is Camera Day. Cameras are only for photographing Jake when his eye bursts a blood vessel.

On this day in 1998, the episode "Gifted" first aired and we found out that there are, in fact, worse schools in Lawndale than Lawndale High. Well, equally as bad, at least.

Fanfic Update!

• Her Last Words, by Sheila Wisz Ellayn (parts 84 - 86): "The great red oaks of Wallerstein Park swayed a little in the icy wind, the winter sky was bright and clear with only a few cirrus clouds so far into the distance, it was quite a frozen morning and everything was silent except for the ravens and the soft whispers of the trees." (Part 85) (Part 86)


• Static and Silence, by Jhxdhchxclvhcydjbp (parts 1 and 2): "Lawndale wasn’t what she expected. She thought a town like this would be quieter. Sleepy. Beige, maybe. But no—Lawndale buzzed with a kind of tired static." (Part 2)

Now THAT'S Bouncity-Bounce!

Brittany has found an odd way to celebrate the anniversary of Captain Kangaroo creator Bob Keeshan's birth on this day in 1927. Then again, maybe she's both confused and two days too late for celebrating the "Boxing Daria" anniversary. Either way, I suggest Kevin steer clear of his girlfriend if he wants to maintain his health and safety.

Perhaps Trent could dig out that old tent for the Great American Backyard Campout, but I don't think he has very fond memories of that. Plus, I suspect Jane won't be very interested in bringing him sandwiches this time around.

If you decide to go camping, don't forget to protect your eyes from the sun for National Sunglasses Day! They're a great accessory for staying aloof at family reunions and disguising yourself when a sibling/cousin tries to embarrass you in public.

Fandom News!

• R.I.P., Bill Moyers.

Party Like It's 1984!

Young Daria is ready for both camp and the anniversary of George Orwell's birth in this day in 1903, but I think she's about to find out that some campers are more equal than others. Orwell's influence on the show was also seen in "Psycho Therapy," when Daria commented, "Gee, look at the time. 1984 already" in reference to Helen's law firm evaluating the family's mental health.

While we're on the subject of Daria's less-fond childhood memories, the episode "Boxing Daria" first aired on this day in 2001. It's one of the most popular episodes, and for good reason--great jokes combined with bittersweet insights into Daria's history made for an excellent series near-finale (aside from the final movie).

Someone should smuggle Ted another cassette in honor of Global Beatles Day, but make sure his parents don't find out. Listening to decades-old pop music is just a slippery slope to chewing gum and playing anachronistic video games!

Fanfic Update!

• Avatar: The Drama Of Daria, by psychotol (part 14): "Barch entered the principals office to see police chief Mako and another cop there, she asked 'I thought Daria had dropped the matter?'"


• I (Don't) Want to Be a Part of It, by ladyevil (part 8): "'Simmah down now!' Alfred was doing a Cheri Oteri impression as he got off the elevator with Daria, Jane and Tony. 'Just simmer down!'"


• Spider Quinn 17 Tempestuous Origin of Mysterio, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 5): "'Daria Morgendorffer, please report to the principal’s office,' Ms. Li announced straight after Homeroom."


• The Youngest Barksdale, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 9): "It was disappointing that there wasn’t anything she could use against Ms. Li in what Quinn had told her, Daria considered as she entered her room. But she was sure that there was something else she could use."

In the Pink

Quinn is happily greeting National Pink Day in her very own Temple of Pink, and I hope that if pink is your favorite color then you have a great day. If you hate the color pink, then, well...just try to avoid Quinn as much as possible. Be like Daria.

If you need something to do, today is also Public Service Day and you could always volunteer to help the less fortunate! You could read to the elderly or collect clothing for the homeless, but only if you have a pleasant voice or good fashion sense.

Just be sure to shop local for National Family Owned & Operated Businesses Day, but I don't recommend visiting Earl and Barbara's store. Unless you like cellophane sandwiches, that is.

Fandom News!

• Talk about the United States striking Iran.

Who Knew Authoritarians Could be Flexible?

It appears that Ms. Li is exhibiting some previously-unknown talents for International Yoga Day, but I think she should be careful. If she gets stuck on that bottom one, things could be very awkward at the next school board meeting. The Fashion Club might celebrate this one, as they've been shown to participate in power yoga, but only up to the point before they'd actually break a sweat.

Let's just hope Trent and the band decide to abstain from observing World Day of Music. The sound that Mystik Spiral produces might be charitably referred to as "music," but there aren't many that would define it as "good."

Someone should tell Kevin that today is World Motorcycle Day, because that would be a great opportunity for him to get his leather jacket and motorbike back out and recreate the scene from Jane's fourth birthday party. Just remind Brittany to keep her mouth closed to keep the bugs out.

Fanfic Update!

• Dude, Where's my Life, by wilddogjj (COMPLETE!): "Brittany is giving her daughter, Angie, a very stern talking to. 'I can't believe you're throwing away your life to become a lesbian!'"


• Her Last Words, by Sheila Wisz Ellayn (parts 81 - 83): "Anna Coulthard had been fascinated by the surreal beauty of Somewhere Else since her very first day in that world, and yet now that it was November she had come to discover, happy and nostalgic at the same time, that it was indeed possible for her to love her new home even more." (Part 82) (Part 83)


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have), by roentgen (COMPLETE!): "It was December and the NBA season was on the way with the Washington Wizards - to borrow an analogy - jumping out of the gate with all of the other horses in the Derby, and then immediately breaking a leg."

What's in the Booooooox?

Jake is curious to see if anyone is celebrating International Box Day Daria-style, but I think that kind of behavior is limited to his daughter and every cat in the world. If you decide to spend some quality time sitting inside a box, please remember to ignore the neighbors when they begin to talk.

At least if Daria stays in her box, she won't have to worry about creating any more problems on National Kissing Day. Whether it's stealing Jane's boyfriend or freaking out her mother, kissing never seems to end well for Daria.

At least Jake can go back inside and fix himself a nice drink for National Martini Day. If any of Helen's family members drop by, he can even prepare an entire pitcher! Let's hope that doesn't happen, though, because he probably still doesn't remember what "The pigeons are at rest" means.

Fandom News!

• Share crossovers you would like to see in a new thread.

Giving "Trashy" a New Definition

Sandi has definitely had better days, but it's Global Garbage Man Day and Ms. Griffin would never do anything but dress for the occasion. As long as she can pawn off the messiest work onto Stacy, I'm sure she'll be okay.

I think she's still having a more pleasant day than Mr. O'Neill, though, because it's National Mascot Day and you just know he's being forced to wear that stifling Lawndale Lions costume again. Just remember to take the head off if you can't breathe!

Jake, on the other hand, is hopefully having a pleasant National Root Beer Day, especially if he can have one in a frosty cold can.

Fanfic Update!

• 15 Years On, by DrT9999 (COMPLETE!): "Helen walked over to Matt and Naomi, who had been supervising a group of eleven would-be volunteer archeologists – eight undergraduates and three 'pay-to-play'."


• Dude, Where's my Life, by wilddogjj (part 2): "Quinn was on the phone with her husband. 'WHAT,' she exclaimed, 'Kevin let two barely legal skanks steal your car!? You've gotta be kidding me!'"


• Spider Quinn 17 Tempestuous Origin of Mysterio, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 4): "Linda had felt Sandi’s search for Jane and thus knew what had happened when she opened the door to find Daria holding up her daughter."

99 Bottles of Jesse On the Wall, 99 Bottles of Jesse....

On one hand, Jesse's looking a little trapped on National Beer Day, because that's really not how the holiday is meant to be celebrated. On the other hand, he doesn't seem terribly bothered by it, so I guess we should just let him be.

I hope any beer-loving dads get to enjoy a nice cold one for Father’s Day, although I suspect Jake would prefer a martini. Or, depending on how the day has been going, a nice soothing glass of milk. Could someone else please warm it up for him, though?

Please, please, don't let Daria celebrate Smile Power Day. Given how creepy her smiles tend to be, I think she's completely right to only smile when she has a reason.

Fandom News!

• R.I.P., Brian Wilson.


• Discuss the Democratic lawmaker assassinated in Minnesota.

I Guess They're Superstitious

Daria and Jane are horrified to learn that today is Friday the 13th, but I wouldn't be so upset. After all, Friday the 13th is still a Friday, and that's a win right there!

However, Jake might want to stay out of the kitchen on this unlucky day, because it's National Kitchen Klutzes of America Day and he's a menace when cooking at even the best times. All he needs is too much of a free hand with the pepper and his tongue will be black in no time.

At least Jane can take comfort in today being National Jane Day, so that should cancel out any bad luck she might have experienced. Just as long as she stays far away from any of Jake's cooking.

Fanfic Update!

• Daria's Party Addition, by DrT9999 (part 23): "Dolly Frasier knew the right people, and knew that money talked. She had the invitations for the ceremony in hand before noon that Saturday morning."


• Mysteries of Aurora, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 17): "Freya and Alexia came out of the lecture. 'So, what was that about an ancient manuscript, again?' Alexia asked."


• Spider Quinn 17 Tempestuous Origin of Mysterio, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 3): "SpiderGirl re-entered the theater area and saw that it was still full of the green mist, she saw Peterson nearby, as well as three young men, including Trent, talking to her."

Anyone For a Luau?

Stacy is dancing the hula in honor of King Kamehameha I Day, a Hawaiian holiday that honors the first ruler of the Kingdom of Hawaii. I'm sure Aunt Amy would love to celebrate by going back to Hawaii for another vacation, but only if she can rub Helen's nose in it again.

I hope that the various Lawndale teens at least try to be nice to their younger siblings because it's also National Children’s Day! Then again, I'm not sure that bratty children like the Griffin boys and Brian Taylor are worth celebrating. Maybe Daria had a point about not liking kids, if those are any example of what the Lawndale children are like.

The episode "Prize Fighters" first aired on this day in 2001, and the competition was fierce! No, not the drama over Jodie, Upchuck, and Daria all fighting for the same scholarship. I mean the hot dog eating competition at the end. Mr. DeMartino was clearly in it to win it.

Fandom News!

• wingzero shared a disturbing police video.


• R.I.P., Sly Stone.

"If you get thrown off a horse, you have to get back up and shoot it, right?"

Helen and Jake are celebrating the anniversary of the day Secretariat won the Triple Crown in 1973, but I think we all wish they'd have chosen an activity that wasn't quite so creepy. Daria and Quinn in particular are most likely fleeing the house, searching for brain bleach, or both.

Let's just hope Helen and Jake don't find out that today is also National Sex Day, although whenever they have the house to themselves they don't usually need much of an excuse. I just hope Daria doesn't get caught up in any more middle-of-the-night misunderstandings, because I don't think Jake could handle the trauma a second time.

Finally, the episode "Pinch Sitter" first aired on this day in 1997. The word of the day is "indemnification," and I hope everyone enjoys this brainworm: "I am cool and that is it, and everyone else is full of, full of, full of--"

Fanfic Update!

• Daria's Party Addition, by DrT9999 (parts 20 and 21): "It was a rather haggard-looking Daria who showed up for lunch Wednesday morning." (Part 21)