Hasta la Vista, Jakey!

Jake's got a very special birthday greeting for Arnold Schwarzenegger, who was born on this day in 1947 and is perhaps best known from the Terminator movies. Then again, maybe Jake's just finally going after that damn sadistic waiter and his lousy "decaf" coffee.

Today is also International Day of Friendship, so Daria and Jane should get together for some pizza and Sick, Sad World. Unless Jane's still upset about the Tom thing, in which case she may decide to borrow one of Jake's guns instead.

Fanfic Update!

• Daria: College Pains The Sophomore Year, by James the Lesser (part 10): "Trent sits on the airplane next to Lindy as they fly over the Pacific Ocean. 'This is a really long flight.' He looks out the window and sees perfect blue waters for miles."


• Dear sister, my best friend, by 11tee (parts 1 - 5): "Jake hung up the phone; he felt like he had been sucker-puunched. This was not how the separation was supposed to work." (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5)


• Freaking Out, by bhut (COMPLETE!): "The night at the Zen was noisy and loud. The fact that it was the Mystik Spiral that provided the entertainment contributed to that factor a lot."


• Kindness is its own reward, by elainefr (part 1): "She stretched languidly on the porch as she enjoyed the morning sun allowing the light to warm her in the coolness of its rise. This was a time she enjoyed so much."


• Lawndale's Finest 3: The Brave and the Bold, by NightGoblyn (part 5): "'I had an interesting conversation with Dr. Klein today,' Elaine said. 'We can talk about it in the car, she has another test she wants to run. Well, we both do, actually.'"


• The Legend of Korra: First Contact, by echopapa (part 1): "'It's not that, Chief. It's...most urgent. There is something that you need to hear. Please come at once.' Beifong sighed. She had a feeling that she would definitely need a Healer after this meeting. 'On my way, Mister President.'"


• Night Witches, by Panzerfaust 150 (part 9): "Daria awoke from her Air Force issue cot for the fifth time that night, or as she glanced with a scowl on her face at her Timex watch, morning."


• Two Lives in Lawndale (Write-Off Challenge 1.2!), by PrecambrianStudios (COMPLETE!): "A young woman with a dyed-pink pixie cut, tattooed from head to toe and with enough piercings to set off a metal detector a mile away entered Axl's Piercing Parlor. Axl himself was slumped over his counter, flipping lazily through a two year old National Geographic magazine."


• With Little Consequence, by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "Tom paced around the expansive area that served as Jodie’s private laboratory; in the center of the room, Jodie sat between a small desk and a table, never lifting her eyes from a monitor screen on the desk as her fingers moved with purpose across keyboard before her."

"I don't need a damn doctor, I need a damn chocolate bar!"

Daria and Tom are enjoying some unauthorized chocolate courtesy of Quinn because it's National Milk Chocolate Day! Whether or not Mrs. Johanssen is celebrating depends on how ethical the most recent door-to-door chocolate salesman was.

This is also the anniversary of the episode "Speedtrapped," which aired on this day in 1999. We saw one of the earliest Daria-Quinn team-ups, as well as Daria's sudden bloodlust against Travis. Fortunately (or not, depending on your perspective), Travis had quick reflexes.

Fandom News!

• Have you ever used any story analyzers? Share your favorites in the thread.


• In what ways does your life imitate Lawndale?


• GlitterShrooms wonders what would have happened if Daria had made the call in "See Jane Run"?


• Princess_Pasta shares pictures and stories from Otakon 2015.

Family and Fire Are Not a Good Mix!

Helen, Rita, and Amy are arguing over whether it's Parents' Day or Aunt and Uncle's Day, but the truth is that it's both! So maybe they should all just call the fight off and make some damn cookies already.

They'll want to be very careful with the oven, though, because it's also the fifteenth anniversary of the episode "Fire!," and I don't think they want any repeats of Jake's kitchen disaster.

Fanfic Update!

• Don's Surprise/Ideally Really Ziggy (Write-Off Challenge 1), by PrecambrianStudios (COMPLETE!): "'Mm. Hello, date number twenty nine. Oh, and you brought her flowers. I'm sure that'll please her,' the bespectacled boy in a green jacket sarcastically said."


• The Loneliness of Alex, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 2): "Later in the afternoon, the 'Esteem-a-Teen' 'course' had started. Alex sat there, bored out of her skull as Mr. O'Neill droned on."


• Lost in Suburbia, by 11tee (part 3): "The motorcycle purred as Kevin pushed through the turns. Andrea's arms felt So Nice around his waist, but he was low on gas, so he eased into the filling station."


• Revelations and Confrontations, by bhut (COMPLETE!): "The day that the FC later called 'The Day of Fashion Infamy' or TDFI, and Daria and Jane and quite a few others called 'a hoot', started as a long, lazy, April Break day."


• The Secret Life of Penny Lane, by 11tee (part 8): "'Cacao puro, señor?' She lifted her hand from the dog and looked back at the man. 'Si, señora. The best cacao beans. You would like to try?'"


• Sins of the Father (Write-Off Challenge 1), by baelparagon (COMPLETE!): "'Good morning campers, did everyone have a fantastic night of fun and righteousness?' The slightly balding Mr. Potts said in front of the mess hall."


• Unnamed story (a new short story), by 11tee (COMPLETE!): "He raised his beer and took another swig; savoring the flavor of his home-brew. He would have never thought students of his would now call him 'Dad', whether out of courtesy or sincerity, but that was exactly what happened. His eyes focused as he recalled that fateful night."


• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: The Madness Sets In), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "Lucky for Daria, all Barch had to show her was a dissection tray with a small white cloth over it. Barch pulled back the cloth. 'All I see is a dogfish shark.'"


• Unnamed story (Write-Off Challenge revived!), by Meester_Lee (COMPLETE!): "'Like Quinn's Cousin Or Whatever,' said Sandi with a sniff, 'you claim you can get this horned horse-thing out of our back yard?'" (Part 2)

Smash? Yeah.

Jesse's got a big surprise ready for the comedian Gallagher, who was born on this day in 1946. Daria probably wouldn't be amused, but I bet it would still beat greasing it and playing that stupid game at Camp Grizzly.

This is also Cousins Day, so Quinn should probably send Daria a card or something. Unless it's post-"Lucky Strike," in which case she can send one to Erin, who could probably use some cheering up after being married to Brian for this long.

Finally, it was two years ago today that CollegeHumor aired the video "Daria: High School Reunion." It was fun to watch, but a real live-action Daria movie will most likely never see the light of day.

Fandom News!

• Talk about the music from the original TV run of the Daria series.


• Share your favorite moments of humor in action movies.


• The first Write-Off Challenge has been posted!

"To catch a rat, you've got to think like a rat! Where's the cheese?"

Keep an eye on your Ritalin, because it's Ratcatcher's Day and the Pied Piper is likely very busy today. If he can't make it, though, there's always Jake. His specialty might be squirrels, but I'll bet he'd be willing to take on the non-fluffy tailed version as well.

Fanfic Update!

• Clarity (IC: I'm gonna show you...), by Zetor (part 2): "I'm finally free! I almost skip through the halls towards the library. As I pass through the courtyard between the main building and the library I feel a pleasant breeze blow by."


• БОЛЬШОЙ СБОР II OR JANE IN THE WONDERLAND, by Shad_Tkhom (part 6): "Дарья и Джейн сидели на скамье. Джейн ворчала: - Мало того, что мне пришлось подниматься в такую рань. В субботу !! В мой законный выходной !! Так ещё и это — а это ты виновата, Моргендорффер!" (Part 7) (Part 8)


• Lawndale's Finest 3: The Brave and the Bold, by NightGoblyn (part 4): "After a weekend spent alternately brooding and manically searching the internet for information, Monday morning rolled around and Scarlett found herself in her aunt's car as the older woman drove to work."


• 9 Crimes (Gaslight Anthem cover) (I.C. - A Scene and Its Song), by Zetor (COMPLETE!): "Mack and Jane are kissing each other in a tight embrace behind a utility building. Jane pulls away from the kiss, still in Mack's arms. She looks down, a guilty expression on her face."


• Unnamed story (IC Runaway Daria), by Waylander (part 1): "Daria was always disgusted by her sister's immaturity and the temper tantrums she was throwing on the regular basis. In hindsight, running away from home in the middle of the night with almost no money and a bare minimum of essential was just as childish as Quinn's outbursts."


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef : MMORPG, Lawndale style), by Waylander (part 8): "With a sigh Darlene took a coin out of her purse and tossed in on the counter. If I didn't stay here I could be already in the office of Buzzdome, demanding explanations."


• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: The Madness Sets In), by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "Mack, O'Neill, DeMartino, Ted, Kevin and the rest of the LHS football team - all dressed in LHS cheerleaders - waved their pom-poms as Helen got out of her vehicle in the Lawndale County Courthouse parking lot. 'HELEN! HELEN! SHE'S OUR BABE! SHE CAN WIN IT, 'CAUSE SHE WON'T CAVE! GOOOOO LAWYERS!'"


• Unnamed story (World's Shortest Crossover, Part XIV: The Crossover Awakens!), by Wraith (COMPLETE!): "'You can't be either an open pervert or a closet one,' Charles stated firmly. 'Because you aren't a man!'"

How Many Licks...?

Jane's all set for National Lollipop Day, but she doesn't seem too thrilled with her candy. It's probably a better option than hooking up with Bobby Bighead again, though.

While we're on the subject of Jane, it was on this day in 1998 that she joined the track team in the episode "See Jane Run." It didn't turn out so well, much like her relationship with Evan. Man, Jane picks all the winners, doesn't she?

Fandom News!

• Read the article and see Daria's reaction to Viacom's mid-life crisis.


• Talk about the new Ant Man movie.


• StickShift posted a new Iron Chef in Creative Writing: I'm gonna show you....


• The Write-Off Challenge has been revived! Post in the thread to volunteer as a judge or contestant.

An Out-of-This World Birthday!

While we're on the subject of space travel, Jodie's wishing a happy birthday to Senator John H. Glenn, who was also among the very first astronauts! Glenn was born in 1921, and I'd just like to see Jodie try to beat his record for extracurricular activities.

Fanfic Update!

• Clarity (IC: I'm gonna show you...), by Zetor (COMPLETE!): "It was three weeks ago. Mother had been busy and had forgotten to set out the pills for a couple of days. Everything had become so clear."


• Decisions, by elainefr (part 1): "'Hey.' She still looks good. 'Hey.' Don't lose your nerve. Damn, he's still so sexy."


• ОБЩИЙ СБОР, by Shad_Tkhom (COMPLETE!): "Джейн собирала чемодан. А мне обязательно ехать с вами ? - жалобно протянула Дарья. Ей давно, очень давно не приходилось так канючить. Ну разве что в далёком детстве и то пару раз."


• Is it Curtain Yet?, by Zetor (part 6b): "Daria stared at the Lane’s front door, hesitating. She’d been there for several minutes and was starting to regret the decision to talk to Jane in person."


• Macaroni Necklaces, by PerkyGoth14 (part 1): "'It's a letter for Daria.' Helen informed. 'What!?' Quinn took the envelope suddenly to look at it. 'There must be some mistake!'"


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Dance like Nobody's Watching), by Zetor (COMPLETE!): "Daria had the apartment to herself, maybe the whole complex. It was time."

This Moon is Really Shiny

Tiffany's keeping a sharp lookout for astronauts because today marks the 46th anniversary of the Apollo 11 spaceflight--the first manned spaceflight to the Moon. I don't think it'll be a long stay, though. There are only so many times you can tell a girl she's not fat before returning to the empty vacuum of space starts to look appealing.

Fandom News!

• ognawk and Princess_Pasta have posted a new Lawndale Lowdown podcast.


• Talk about Trump's America in The Sidhe's new thread.


• See the Ash vs. Evil Dead trailer and discuss the upcoming series.


• tafka has begun her Big Brother Lawndale project.


• Two new Iron Chefs have been posted in Creative Writing: Zetor's Dance like Nobody's Watching and GlitterShrooms's A Scene and Its Song.

Vive la France!

Brittany's getting into the spirit of Bastille Day, but that probably has more to do with that foreign exchange student than any love of French history. Also, she wants to make sure everyone knows that, even though it's National Nude Day, she's still only going to do a nude scene if it's crucial to her character.

Today is also the anniversary of both "The Teachings of Don Jake" in 1997 and "Lane Miserables" in 1999. Both episodes gave us a glimpse into the Lane family, and neither of them was a pleasant experience for either Jane or Trent.

Fanfic Update!

• ASPS 3, by PrecambrianStudios (COMPLETE!): "'What the ever-living heck is going on over there?!' exclaimed a shocked Gage into his cell phone as he stared at Jane's TV. 'It's all over the news! What on Earth happened? It's never been this bad before!'"


• The Chymical Wedding of Daria Morgendorffer, by EntrancedCat (part 1): "'Jane, I can help with your chemistry homework but you've got to quit raving about phlogiston.' Daria insisted as she and Jane bent over the books in Daria's room."


• ЭШФИЛД, by Shad_Tkhom (COMPLETE!): "Дарья шла следом за Джейн и ругала себя за деликатность и робость, которые решили проявить себя во всей красе и, как всегда, крайне не вовремя."


• Is it Curtain Yet?, by Zetor (part 6a): "Stacy walked down the hall with Quinn, not really listening to her friend. She was smiling and almost skipping. Last weekend had been great."


• Redux, by Princess_Pasta (part 20): "Quinn dropped down in her usual seat across from Daria, already fully dressed and made up. The strangest part was how far away it was from her usual choice of attire. A black halter top, acid-washed jeans, and chunky wedge shoes Daria wasn't sure she'd ever seen her wear before."


• A Time For Us, by aeverett (part 7): "'Have you noticed anything weird about Janey lately?' Trent queried, around a spoon full of cereal."


• Unnamed story ('Iron Chef' for Robyn & all comers - 'The First Ten Minutes'), by Meester_Lee (part 1): "There was indeed a female in the stasis pod. It was difficult to tell much about her. She had pale skin, long straight hair, and was wearing some sort of high-necked garment of an unfamiliar cut."


• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: The Madness Sets In), by Silver (COMPLETE!): "The robed figure allowed itself a hissing chuckle. 'Come now, Daria,' it rasped, drawing out the final 'a' in her name, 'We both know your sister's comparison of the situation to Buffy is wrong.'"


• Unnamed story (World's Shortest Crossover, Part XIV: The Crossover Awakens!), by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "'You know, there's really no limit to what you'll say or do in order to get laid, is there?'"


• Unnamed story (World's Shortest Crossover, Part XIV: The Crossover Awakens!), by Wraith (COMPLETE!): "From her throne, Daria pronounced, 'Now, gentlemen, I will announce today's plan of action.'"


• ВАРИАЦИИ, by Shad_Tkhom (COMPLETE!): "Джейн ни­как не мог­ла по­нять са­му се­бя — на са­мом де­ле у них с То­мом всё шло к то­му что­бы рас­стать­ся. Нап­ря­жение меж­ду ней и Сло­уном толь­ко рос­ло, а она не мог­ла не за­мечать, что То­ма яв­но и нед­вусмыс­ленно тя­нет к Дарье."


• WLTAP CH.4, by ST91 (parts 2 and 3): "'Well, here we are kids. That's our new home. Casa Lane,' said Vincent to his two children as they came down from the car." (Part 3)

Different Colors AND Different Sizes!

Mr. DeMartino doesn't seem very happy about Different Colored Eyes Day, but that's too bad because (I think) he fits right in with this one. From what I can tell, he's got one normal eye and one that's both blue and bloodshot. Regardless of color, no one can claim those eyes are in any way symmetrical!

This also happens to be the anniversary of the episode "Legends of the Mall," which first aired on this day in 2000. Not much of that episode counts as canon, but you can't argue with those metal dentures on the door of Helen's car.

Fandom News!

• Ponder The Sidhe's "what if" topic.


• Kara Wild shares her Amy TV dream.


• Discuss the upcoming new season of Doctor Who.


• Talk about Harper Lee's Go Set a Watchman.


• Roentgen posted a new Iron Chef in Creative Writing: Daria Regenerations.

What Lurks in the Shadows?

Caption this image in the comments!

Boom! Headshot!

Daria's already gotten a head start celebrating Video Game Day, so why not join in the fun? Never mind that Daria's probably got some writing to do if she ever wants to get published in Musings Magazine.

If first-person shooters aren't your thing, you can head over to Mr. Fun's Exciting World of Games and try out the virtual reality games. That is, as long as Ted's willing to let someone else have a turn. Which he probably isn't.

Fanfic Update!

• Hana Hou, by metameric1 (COMPLETE!): "The tropical air washed over her as she stepped out of the air conditioned gate security zone and into the lobby of the Lihue airport."

Art and Ailments

Jane's taking on yet another art-related alter ego, and this time it's Frida Kahlo, who was born on this day in 1907. I don't think Jane is ever shown in canon to be a fan of Kahlo's work, but given her distinctive style and unusual life, I wouldn't be surprised if she was.

Today is also the anniversary of the episode "Ill," which first aired on this day in 1998. Never mind Brittany's hair and Daria's mysterious rash; I think the weirdest thing about this episode was Quinn's willingness to help Daria when she was in need. It's almost scary.

Fandom News!

• Roentgen wonders, why your name? Tell everyone why you have the name you do.


• Keep up with news related to the referendum in Greece.


• Kara Wild has updated her blog, Through An Introvert's Lens.


• undefinedlust wonders about editors and aeverett is looking for a sounding board for their fanfics.

Go Forth and Celebrate the Fourth!

It's Independence Day in the U.S., and Jane is proudly doing her part. Her arm's going to get tired soon, though. For those celebrating the holiday, here are a handful of fanfics set during Independence Day if you need a break from the cookouts and fireworks.

• Fireworks by C.E. Forman
• Freedom of Speech (Falling into College) by Richard Lobinske
• Fun on the Fourth (First Summer) by Richard Lobinske
• Independence (Finn Morgendorffer) by HolyGrail2007
• Life is Like A Firework (Daria - The Next Chapter) by LadieT

Fanfic Update!

• Blue (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: The Madness Sets In), by thatLONERchick (COMPLETE!): "The trees in High Hills park became inky smudges under the concrete sky. In shadow we sat, waiting for the cavalry to arrive."


• A Boring Summer, by ST91 (part 8): "'Hello?' said Steve, answering his phone. 'Good morning Mr. Taylor, it's me. I called to tell you that I did what you asked.' said a voice on the other end of the phone."


• Eleven oh Four ('Iron Chef' for Robyn & all comers - 'The First Ten Minutes'), by thatLONERchick (COMPLETE!): "Her left eye opened. Blood was running down her face. All was chaos in Lawndale High."


• The Fine Art of Showing Art, by ViolentFlowers (COMPLETE!): "Jane sometimes wished she could draw faces, but capturing expressions was beyond her skills so instead she took a photo of Daria's face. 'Perfect.'"


• A Time For Us, by aeverett (part 6): "Staring up at the large sculpture in front of Lawndale Community College, Jane Lane tried to find any meaning behind it and only came up blank. It was a shaped piece of metal, nothing more, and certainly not art."


• Unnamed story ('Iron Chef' for Robyn & all comers - 'The First Ten Minutes'), by Zetor (COMPLETE!): "A dull throbbing in her head pulled Daria from her sleep. She rolled around in her sweat soaked sheets trying to find a comfortable position and fall back asleep, but had no luck."


• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: The Madness Sets In), by Silver (COMPLETE!): "It had been nearly four years ago now; an early summer night like this when he'd gotten the call. He picked up the picture on his desk, stared at it."

Is She an Atomic Communist from Mars?

Daria's waiting for you to take her to your leader on this World UFO Day, but she's not holding out any hope for intelligent life. At least her outfit here is a little more dignified than it was on the Sick, Sad World episode.

I'm sure Artie's celebrating this holiday, too, although I'd really rather not know any of the details. Especially if they involve his synthetic skin in any way.

Fandom News!

• Find out more about the possibility of giant robots doing battle sometime in the near future.


• Roentgen wants to know, would you rather...? Answer his question in the thread!


• Anime fans can discuss the Vampire Hunter D series in the works.