Sorry, Daria, No Brains Allowed Today!

Zombie Kevin is out of luck, because today is No Brainer Day. Then again, even regular Kevin is out of luck when it comes to brains. Just ask Mr. DeMartino.

Today is also National Strawberry Day, so this is your chance to visit The Big Strawberry, Lawndale's most famous--and only--attraction.

Fandom News!

• Share your thoughts on the passing of Bill Paxton and Judge Joseph Wapner.


• mailorderannie posted a new Iron Chef: Daria loses it.

Pop the Cork!

Although today is Open That Bottle Night, that's probably not the kind of bottle they have in mind. Then again, no one said you have to drink it once it's opened, so use your own best judgment here.

Today is also the anniversary of "Partner's Complaint," which aired on this day in 2000. Faced with the prospect of working on an assignment with Brittany again, Jane will probably accept whatever bottle you have to offer.

Fanfic Update!

• Consequences, by Zetor (part 3): "Daria felt a twist in her stomach that had nothing to do with hunger as her mother brought a tray of lasagna to the dinner table and started to serve it to the seated Morgendorffers."


• Esteemers in the Year 2000, by Kuriamo22 (COMPLETE!): "Daria awoke abruptly as the alarm in her bed turned on the lights of her and Quinn's spacious one hundred square feet room. She groggily hopped down from her top bunk which immediately retracted into the wall for auto cleaning."


• The Great War of the Dale, by Wassersauefer (prologue): "She knew exactly what was going on. Not many thought it, but she was smart. Not as smart as her older sister and not as crazy smart as her oldest sister, but she understood well enough. Especially for a girl her age."


• Harmonize, by Princess_Pasta (part 4): "Knock! Knock! Knock! The sound was enough to rouse Trent from his sleep but not enough to actually drag him out of bed."


• Nearly two years now (Iron Chef: Jake Goes To Sober Meetings), by Wassersauefer (COMPLETE!): "Say something. This silence is awkward. Your kids need you. Go on, be a good father. This is something that is really important to them, show them that you care."


• Telling Tales Out of School, by Kristen Bealer (part 1): "As David walked past the football-shaped mailbox and up the sidewalk to the home of his first tutoring client, he fought the urge to turn back around and walk away. If he didn't need the money for tuition, he might have done just that."


• To Reflect, by vlora (part 3): "'Daria,' a voice grated, O'Neil it's source. 'Can I have a word, ah, if I may...' 'Iguana.' 'I'm afraid I don't follow.' The nervous chuckle from O'Neil only made Daria frown."

Maybe She Just Found a More Effective Weapon Against Quinn

I have no idea why Daria's so interested in Play Tennis Day, but the answer can't be good. In fact, we might want to check her neck for implants.

On the other hand, maybe the choice was between tennis and paintball, like in "The Daria Hunter," which aired on this day in 1998. Sometimes you've just got to go with the lesser evil.

Fandom News!

• The winners in the 2016 Daria Fanworks Awards are in! See the results linked in the thread.


• What happened to the racist whites in the Civil Rights era? Shiva shares an article for eveyrone to discuss.


• Meester_Lee posted a new Iron Chef in Creative Writing: Jake Goes To Sober Meetings.

No, the Fortunes Don't Make You Look Fat

Tiffany's inviting everyone to come by to learn their fortunes on Card Reading Day, but be prepared for a long wait. When every word lasts up to three minutes, by the time you learn about your future it'll already have happened.

Fanfic Update!

• Aunt Nauseam--the Facebook Edition (Iron Chef: Facebook episodes), by Kristen Bealer (COMPLETE!): "Sandi Griffin shared a link: Sandi Griffin's Dracula. Quinn Morgendorffer, Stacy Rowe, and Tiffany Blum-Deckler like this. Timothy O'Neill Sandi, please see me after class."


• B.L.O.U.S.E. (Iron Chef: the Early Invention of 'Daria'), by EntrancedCat (COMPLETE!): "Jake Morgendorffer adjusted his furry headpiece before he mounted the small stage in the second story of a haberdashery just off downtown Des Moines. He looked out on his lodge brothers new and old."


• Consequences, by Zetor (part 2): "Brittany turned her head to look at one of the old analogue clocks that dotted the hallway as she hurried toward the gym. Just as she was thinking she might just make it to practice on time, she was stopped by a familiar voice calling out to her."


• Daria Ravenclaw: The Highland Years, by Meester_Lee (part 12): "'So what happened when you went to the new counselor's office?' asked Gail. 'I got detention,' said Daria. 'The school counselor thinks I shouldn't have shoved Nancy.'"


• Just Too Cute For Words, by Meester_Lee (COMPLETE!): "Stacy riffled through the pages of the slick, glossy magazine that she'd 'borrowed' from her cousin. This was hot, this was so incredibly hot, she thought."


• An Old Friend, by peetz5050 (COMPLETE!): "Jane looked around the conference table, everyone seemed satisfied with the Friday morning sit rep meeting. 'Is that it then? Are we all set?'"


• A.R.C Chapter 8 Sighted by a condor, by ST91 (part 7): "Daria was tired, sick and tired because Romonica and Claude would not stop making her and the other teens try various modeling poses."


• Someone had to do it, by Rémi (parts 4 and 5): "- Sheer, semi-sheer, or opaque? Textured! Comparing skirts in front of her bedroom mirrors, Quinn was busy at the important task of choosing an outfit when Daria barged in and asked : - Isn't one of you enough?" (Part 5)

This Telescope is Reeeeaaally Shiiiiny....

Tiffany's trying to figure out if Copernicus, who was born on this day in 1473, was right about the Earth revolving around the sun. Either that or she's trying to figure out if the universe revolves around her, which is probably a difficult theory for her to shake off.

Today is also the anniversary of the episode "Fizz Ed," which aired on this day in 2001. At the very least, I hope Tiffany over there has worked out that the Earth is not, in fact, shaped like a can of Ultra Cola.

Fandom News!

• Share and discuss the latest aviation bloopers.


• Talk about the news surrounding the SLS launch.


• Brother Grimace shares a Black History Month story for everyone.

Amanda Lane's Favorite Opera

Quinn's making a dainty garland for her head to sing an aria from Madama Butterfly, which premiered on this day in 1904. I'm sure Mr. DeMartino will be attending the command performance in the automotive department.

On the subject of singing, today is also the anniversary of the episode "Daria!" in 1998. The singing may not have been the best, but seeing Jake rhyme "Lexus" with "solar plexus" always amuses me.

Fanfic Update!

• D. D. (Daria and the Gang Thread II), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "It was Daria and Brittany's first visit to the Taylors in years. Steve Taylor, after years of tackling his dislike of Brittany's new 'lifestyle', had decided to bite the bullet and put one of his feet in the 21st century."


• Dear World, You Suck, by Edgelord (lostlikeme) (COMPLETE!): "Halfway into a pepperoni slice at Pizza King, Jane drops the confession like a trembling grenade. Daria blindly reaches for the fries, trying to ignore how the yellow walls are pressing in on them."


• Feeling Special (Random Pairing Challenge 2017), by mailorderannie (COMPLETE!): "Daria turned to her companion. 'I don't get it, Jane. You've got the entire course memorized. How come you can't pass the test to get out?'"


• Harmonize, by Princess_Pasta (parts 1 - 3): "It wasn't enough to be the best. She had to be perfect. Sandi Griffin ignored the idle chatter going on around her, choosing instead to focus on her stretches." (Part 2) (Part 3)


• My beautiful striped bell-bottoms (Random Pairing Challenge 2017), by tjdolf (COMPLETE!): "In principle, Brooke enjoyed around mid-level popularity at Lawndale High, she was invited to a few parties and got a few dates. In practice, she was needy, whiny, wimpy and lacking in self-confidence."


• On The Road, by elainefr (part 37): "'Come in,' Valerie's voice called from the other side of the door that Jesse had knocked on. Jesse entered the room and watched as Valerie continued to pack without looking at him."


• Places Flipped, by Leela (part 2): "Like every morning that she couldn't sleep in, the splash of icy water successfully jolted her awake. Putting on her glasses, she began to carefully examine every inch of her face for signs of wear."


• Someone had to do it, by Rémi (parts 2 and 3): "Jane Lane sat at her desk, mentally preparing to relax while listening to Mr. O'Neill meaningless blatter. Everything was as usual in self esteem class : same bored students, same boring teacher..." (Part 3)

Rrrrrr...Candy!

Upchuck is a day late for Valentine's Day, for which we're all grateful. However, he's just in time for both Half-Price Candy Day and Singles Awareness Day. I'm sure he's very aware of being single, although no one is particularly surprised.

Not currently much in the way of fandom news, but I'll just leave this here:

Time's running out to vote in the 2016 Daria Fanworks Awards! You have until 11:59 PM (23:59) UTC 17 February 2017 to choose your favorite Written Works and Visual Works.

Ooooh, Format C! That'll Take Care of It!

Jake is having a great time on Clean out Your Computer Day, although I hope someone told him that soap and water are not recommended. Maybe someone at Buzzdome can give him some tips, if the company hasn't already folded.

Today is also Get a Different Name Day, so once you're done wiping every trace of your identity from your computer you might take Jake's advice to "walk away. You change your name, move to another state, get some ID. It's not too late to start over, Daria, it's not too late! You're still a young man! You don't have to live with your mistakes! Get out while you can!"

Fanfic Update!

• Consequences, by Zetor (part 2): "The bell signaling the end of the school day echoed across the roof, rousing Brittany from her sleep. Reluctantly, she yawned and opened her bleary eyes, only to quickly close them against the afternoon sun."


• Cynics with Hats (World's Shortest Crossover, Part XIV: The Crossover Awakens!), by Derek (COMPLETE!): "'Daria! Tom's dead body is in your room!' 'Oh, hey. How did he get here?'"


• Daria Ravenclaw: No Country For Unpleasant Old Men, by Meester_Lee (COMPLETE!): "Arcturus felt his spirits lifted after his visit with the local witch in the park. After waking Iago from his nap, Arcturus had him drive back towards the Hotel Aylesford. It being early Sunday afternoon, there was a lot of pedestrian activity and motor traffic around the local churches." (Part 6b) (Part 6c) (Part 6d) (Part 6e)


• Edicius, by elainefr (part 2): "She woke with a start sitting straight up in bed trying to catch her breath. She closed her eyes and opened them again after groping for and then reclaiming her glasses from her nightstand."


• First day at Lawndale High (Someone had to do it), by Rémi (part 1): "– Other state, other town, other school. All three are probably populated by idiots but it can't be worse than Highland. Am I supposed to give you some sort of pep talk ? – Nah, it will be okay, Daria. – Good. – You suck at it, anyway."


• For display purposes only? (Random Pairing Challenge 2017), by EntrancedCat (COMPLETE!): "Claire Defoe leaned into the storage closet of the largest art studio at Lawndale State. She was happy to note that the maintenance staff had managed to thoroughly wash the formerly bespattered cushions as she had requested."


• Greater Love, by arandomshipper (part 1): "'Oh, Ben's here! Gotta go, guys.' Quinn waved happily to the other members of the fashion club, who watched with narrowed, dreamy, and blank eyes respectively as she flounced over to the car that had just pulled into the school parking lot."


• The Letter, by elainefr (COMPLETE!): "I'm writing you this because I am a coward. I'm leaving...after our conversation I know that if I stay there will be no wedding."


• Places Flipped, by Leela (part 1): "She had already been awake for a couple of hours when her early morning alarm went off. Without so much as a sigh, she quickly killed the noise."


• Standstill, by Princess_Pasta (part 13): "They crashed into each other, surging like waves in a storm, and she gladly welcomed the flood. It wasn't gentle or soft and she found that she desperately needed it, wanting to feel anything except for the numbness that had settled in her chest."

Spill Some Milk and Make a Friend!

Jake's definitely not crying for Don't Cry over Spilled Milk Day, but then again he hasn't spilled any yet. I'm sure there'll be plenty of crying if he does spill it, though, especially if it leads to him almost burning the house down again.

Today is also a good day to make some friends, because it's Make a Friend Day. If, like Daria, you already have one friend, then take the rest of the day off. No need to go overboard, right?

Fandom News!

• There's still time to vote in the 2016 Daria Fanworks Awards! Choose your favorites for Written Works and Visual Works.


• Get involved with some help from the Hashtag: The Resistance thread.


• What would happen if an asteroid hit NY?


• tafka posted a new challenge in the Easel.

A Toothache with Low Self-Esteem?

Mr. O'Neill has the remedy for Mr. DeMartino's toothache on Toothache Day, but I suspect it involves talking the problem out with the tooth over a cup of herbal tea. When he's done with Mr. DeMartino, Arno the hot-air balloon pilot would like a turn. I think he ripped open another balloon with his teeth.

Fanfic Update!

• Crossroads (Random Pairing Challenge 2017), by Zetor (COMPLETE!): "The Running Bet was a relatively small bar with low lighting and a quiet atmosphere, the kind kept alive by its regulars. It was surprisingly clean, the wood furnishings and long bar always kept well polished."


• The Crudes ("Granite" Chef Challenge), by JoeMerl (COMPLETE!): "Daria was lying on her ledge in the family cave, trying to read. Unfortunately that painting about the mammoth hunt was starting to get kind of dull after being on their wall for six months now."


• Daria Ravenclaw: No Country For Unpleasant Old Men, by Meester_Lee (part 5d): "Kreacher reappeared in the hotel room. 'Well?' said Arcturus. 'Kreacher was a bad elf, master,' said the aged elf apologetically."


• Daria Ravenclaw: The Highland Years, by Meester_Lee (part 12): "'Coffee?' he said. 'Yes, please,' she replied. He poured her a cup, stopping about two-thirds the way to the brim. He didn't know if she put anything in it or drank it black."


• The Sirens of Conformity (Two-Eyed Charlie's "Wacky One-Shots & Misc."), by Two-Eyed Charlie (COMPLETE!): "The year was 2081, and everybody was finally the same. They weren't only the same in terms of clothing and styles--they were the same in every which way."


• Summer of Love (Random Pairing Challenge 2017), by Kristen Bealer (COMPLETE!): "Summer grumbled under her breath at the slow-moving checkout line. She'd stopped at Payday for groceries because she'd expected it to be a quick stop for everything she needed, but it quickly turned into a nightmare of impossible-to-find products, maze-like aisles, and unhelpful employees."

Yes, Quinn, but Did YOU Send Anyone a Card?

Quinn is the happy beneficiary of Send a Card to a Friend Day, which probably means poor Stacy is still giving her poems away for free. Incidentally, I don't think it's particularly cynical to suggest that this holiday was probably created by greeting card companies. Just saying.

Today is also the anniversary of the birth of Laura Ingalls Wilder in 1867, without whom we wouldn't have the Little House on the Prairie books, and Travis the hitchhiking cowboy would have had no inspiration for his tale about getting chased around a pasture by a bull. "Bull," incidentally, is a good descriptor of that story.

Fandom News!

• Please remember to choose your favorites in the 2016 Daria Fanworks Awards. Vote online for Written Works and Visual Works.


• Where were you on the day of the Bowling Green Massacre? Share your completely real and not made up stories in the thread.


• peapotmaster is going to start a cartoon review YT channel.


• Meester_Lee has a question about the Worldburner series.


• Join in the fun with JoeMerl's Random Pairing Challenge 2017.


• Wouter posted a new art Iron Chef in the Easel: why the Morgendoffers don't have pets.

A Hurricane During the Super Bowl? Nooooooooo!

Never mind the Al Roker impersonator over there. Just because it's National Weatherperson's Day doesn't mean we have to pay attention when he warns us about hurricanes! What does science know, after all?

In more important news (at least as far as Kevin is concerned), today is Super Bowl Sunday. In the immortal words of Angela Li, "Go, teams, go!"

Fanfic Update!

• Cops And Robbers And Magic, by psychotol (part 9): "Matilda was listening to videos from Carries channel on her smartphone as she typed out her reports on her desktop computer."


• Cynic in the Matrix Mix (World's Shortest Crossover, Part XIV: The Crossover Awakens!), by EntrancedCat (COMPLETE!): "Morpheus leaned forward in the booth of the pizza joint and coolly regarded the slightly-built teen-age girl opposite. He watched her eyes shift back and forth behind her thickly-lensed glasses between the capsules in his outstretched palms."


• Daria Ravenclaw: No Country For Unpleasant Old Men, by Meester_Lee (part 5c): "He went downstairs with the idea of having a quiet meal in the hotel's restaurant and perhaps a solitary drink at the hotel's bar."


• Daria Takes Charge, by dmsfanman (part 11): "It was Monday morning. Daria got out of her car. It wasn't yet drizzling, though she had run the windshield wipers once or twice on the way."


• Lawndale Z Special, The Story of Jake, by Kuriamo22 (COMPLETE!): "One day out in the vastness of Otherworld Jake Morgendorffer sat cross legged under a tree on King Kai's tiny planet. He had his eyes closed and was quietly meditating."


• Moonstruck, by NightGoblyn (COMPLETE!): "Daria wasn't sure where she was, but she could tell it was dark and cool. She knew she'd been teleported, but it hadn't been under her own power and she was reasonably certain it was a greater distance than anything she could have managed."


• This is my stop, by Honey-On-Toast (part 7): "Many times that night, Jane was sure that she'd managed to let her consciousness slip and whisk her away into some dream, however there proceeded to be instances in which demanded for her to keep batting her eyes open."

Birdseed for Travis, Mavis, Venus, Elvis, Chloris, Clovis and Posh

Um...Helen? Jake? It may be Feed the Birds Day, but I can think of less disgusting ways to handle it. If you feed any captive birds today, be sure to learn from Quinn's mistake and don't let them escape. You don't want to dig that out of the air filtration system.

Fandom News!

• The nominations for the 2016 Daria Fanworks Awards are in and voting for Written Works and Visual Works is open.


• Is it time for new economic thinking? Read the essay and share your thoughts.


• View and discuss a video about Planting and Payoff.

Gah With the Wind

Jake is looking good as the late actor Clark Gable, who was born on this day in 1901. I know the beard didn't work out, but maybe Jake should consider a mustache. It's actually not a bad look for him!

The February 1999 issue of Teen People awarded the Readers' Choice Award for "Killer Cartoon" to Daria. It might not seem like a huge honor, but neither was Daria's acceptance speech: "At last, the teen stardom I have craved for so long! I'm ready for my close-up, Mr. DiCaprio."

Fanfic Update!

• Daria Ravenclaw: No Country For Unpleasant Old Men, by Meester_Lee (parts 5a and 5b): "'Where to next?' asked Iago. 'Whirlwind Drive,' said Arcturus. 'Time to have another go at it.'" (Part 5b)


• This is my stop, by Honey-On-Toast (part 6): "Entering into the Lane household, Daria felt some sort of chill. Someone walking on her grave. As she was about to follow Jane up, she saw a familiar face, a scruffy hair-cut and ragged clothing."