A Modest Blog Post

Daria's getting to know the pint-sized versions of the Lawndale folks in honor of the 350th anniversary of Jonathan Swift's birth on this day in 1667. I think Swift's biting satire would have been very appealing to Daria, but I also think the way O'Neill is pointing directly up Daria's skirt is incredibly creepy.

On the subject of birthdays and satire, today is also the anniversary of Mark Twain's birthday in 1835. We know for a fact that Daria's a fan of Twain's, judging by the Mark Twain T-shirt she wears as a nightgown and her comment about Huckleberry Finn being an American classic. She seemed less enthusiastic about Huckleberry Hound, though.

Fandom News!

• Follow the surprising story of Slobodan Praljak's trial.


• Join in the thread about girls you should not underestimate.

It's Not Easy Being a Fashionista!

The Fashion Club is observing Giving Tuesday, but they're dismayed to learn that they have to give the clothing they've collected away to (gasp!) other people. As far as those girls are concerned, "giving" only refers to other people giving things to them. I fear those orphans will never get the ankle boots they so desperately need.

Fanfic Update!

• Fashionable Reunion (Quinn, Season 2), by WildDogJJ (parts 1 and 2): "We see Quinn pushing a shopping cart through the aisle. The cart is loaded with an assortment of healthy foods. Quinn: (Thought VO) God, with all the junk food I found in the house it's no wonder Dad got fat and had another heart attack. I swear, if it weren't for me no one would eat healthy." (Part 2)


• The New J (Quinn, Season 2), by WildDogJJ (COMPLETE!): "Ext. Shot: A strip club, the name of which is being changed from "Pleasure Palace" to "Cafe Risque", afternoon We see a black Lincoln (Jake traded up from the Lexus) pull into the parking lot. We see Quinn exit the car and enter the strip club." (Part 3)


• Night of the Short-Skirted Cynic, by Meester_Lee (parts 1 and 2): "She wondered later how her life might have gone if she'd turned down Tom Sloane's invitation to go on a cross-country trip to Wisconsin with him and his friend Bart." (Part 2)


• Prometheus/Lingchi, by LongSnakeMoan (part 2): "The people who'd made this torture had been from a magazine, one of those magazines that released two issues a year for bands full of musicians you'd never heard of, wearing clothes that cost the earth from designers you'd never heard of, making movies you'd never see or want to see."


• Reflections (formerly Second Chances), by Lady Evil (part 11): "Jane met up with the elderly lady she had seen holding the clipboard at the library. Today, she was dressed up like pictures Jane had seen of Betsy Ross or Martha Washington."


• Something (Pasta's Never-Ending Ideas Thread 2), by Princess_Pasta (COMPLETE!): "There were few things more comforting than the quiet seclusion of a bathroom stall. Daria Morgendorffer nervously fidgeted with the pen in her hand, desperately wishing she had more to say."


• Unnamed story (World's Shortest Crossover, Part XIV: The Crossover Awakens!), by Wraith (COMPLETE!): "'You could say that,' Archer said, twirling her finger in her blonde hair. 'It's the first thing I ever owned. A gift from the Lady.'"


• Unnamed story (LLH - Short Entries), by Roentgen (part 64): "Dr. Todd Lin, Dr. Jacqueline Musial and Dr. Robert Summers awaited the arrival of their very special guest. All of the doctors - a medical doctor, a psychologist and a biochemist - were members of The Elite, although none on the three had their gifts activated."

Mmm...Cake and Peanuts!

Quinn's ready for National Cake Day, and I still want to know where she got that cake. I have serious doubts that she baked that thing herself, so did she con one (or more) of the three Js to do it for her? I'm picturing Three Stooges-style hijinks here and I'm a little angry that MTV did not air that (hypothetical) scene.

Today is also the 95th anniversary of the birth of Charles M. Schulz, the cartoonist who created the comic strip Peanuts. For a fun Daria/Peanuts crossover, see Petrel/CINCGREEN's fanfics "New Kids in Town" and "New Kids in Town II: 'Batting Practice'."

Fandom News!

• What's the most trivial hill you'll die on? Share the minor annoyances that actually matter to you.


• Talk about the potential plans for Charles Manson's funeral.


• tjdolf shares a video about Jodie Landon.


• Decide who would win in a battle between Samantha Stevens and Jeannie.

"Darwin's the Monkey Guy, Right? I Like Monkeys!"

I have no idea if Joey, Jeffy, and Jamie have any nieces or nephews, but today is All Our Uncles are Monkeys Day so I guess they'll fit the bill.

They should really get over to Cashman's, because today is also Black Friday and Quinn needs someone to carry all of her shopping bags. Unless, of course, she's decided to observe Buy Nothing Day instead.

Okay, I'm done laughing now.

Fanfic Update!

• An Annoying Paradise, by Resop (part 3): "Jane looks at Daria. 'Something is wrong.' 'Is my posture off?' Jane crosses her arms and then points down the hall of TFAS from their lockers. 'Don't you see?'"


• Can You Keep A Secret? (My Annual Thanksgiving Fanfic Release - 2017!), by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "'Hey, lady – that's a cool costume.' Stacy Rowe smiled as the young Black girl – she recognized her as Rachel Landon, Jodie's little sister – passed by and complimented her."


• Fates Entwined, by Deep Metal (part 11): "'How did it go?' asked Ted. 'Miserably,' Daria sat down at the table where the two were convening. 'Jane reacted... in the only way that made sense.'"


• The Heart of the Matter (Quinn, Season 2), by WildDogJJ (COMPLETE!): "Quinn, Daria and Helen are at the table discussing Jake's care. Helen: I can handle most of the in-home care. I'll just have to cut back my hours at the firm. The real problem is what the two of you can do."


• The New J (Quinn, Season 2), by WildDogJJ (part 1): "We see Quinn seated at Jake's desk. She is wearing a dark blue business suit. On the desk is a small intercom. Quinn is going through financial statements. Quinn: (Thought VO) I didn't know Happy Herb was one of Dad's clients. It explains the cheesy commercials, though."


• Prometheus/Lingchi, by LongSnakeMoan (part 1): "'Jane, I'm so sorry. I know I was supposed to back on Thursday but I've had a meeting and there may be more to this site than we thought so I may be in Dubai for another month. I know we were due to go out for dinner that I'll have to postpone again. Unless you want to eat here, I can book you a flight.'"


• Unnamed story (LLH - Short Entries), by Brother Grimace (part 63): "'We were in Puerto Rico to cover the Canadian government's efforts to get citizens off the island before Maria hit. Not one of my idea assignments – I never cared for weather stories.'"

Don't Take Tom up on Any Offers, Though. Just...Don't!

Since today is Go For a Ride Day, perhaps Daria would like to finally reveal just whose car she was getting out of at the end of "The Big House." No? Then I suppose the debate will just have to rage on in fandom for the rest of eternity, I guess.

In other news, this is the anniversary of the posting of the earliest Daria story currently available on Fanfiction.net: paperpusher's "Her, Uh, Cane," posted on this day in 1998. There are just a few more fics up there now, though.

Fandom News!

• RLobinske reminds everyone to check for existing threads before posting.


• Discuss the latest sexual harassment scandals in the creepy-assed dirty old man thread.


• If you've seen the new Justice League movie, tell everyone what you thought of it.


• Talk about instances in cartoons and comics where the good guys are actually bad guys.


• Vote in the Deadliest Warrior poll between K. I. T. T. vs. The Car.

Maybe It's Just a New Type of Cheer

Even if Brittany wasn't being portrayed in the style of a Picasso painting, she'd be more than absurd enough for Absurdity Day. I can't help noting that, even in cubist form, Brittany is still bursting out of the picture plane.

Fanfic Update!

• David M., by ST91 (part 3): "'Please Karen, get out of the bathroom!' said a shrill voice. 'No! I'll stay here forever!' said Karen Jones."


• Harry Potter Morgendorffer, by Meester_Lee (part 13): "It was a weekend conference in Houston. The oil industry bust had hit the regular Texas economy hard, and the savings and loans had been particularly hard-hit, with S&Ls going broke left and right."


• The Heart of the Matter (Quinn, Season 2), by WildDogJJ (parts 1 and 2): "Quinn is in the office in back seated at a desk. She is working on a chart. From her POV we see that she is scheduling shifts for the next week. Cut to the door and we see one of the boutique employees, Beth, stick her head in. Beth: Quinn, someone wants to talk to you." (Part 2)


• The Move, by dmsfanman (COMPLETE!): "Daria and Jane watched as the movers left and closed the door behind them. Turning around Daria surveyed her tiny apartment, which was now filled with furniture and other stuff."


• Runaway Daria : Where No Cynic Had Gone Before, by Waylander (part 3): "Daria was tying shoelaces when Hepzibah entered her cabin. 'Looking forward to see Bosconia, aren't you?'"


• Sweet & Sour, by BrownEyedBagel (COMPLETE!): "The brick wall beside Anthony 'Bloodshot' DeMartino held him up better than the adrenaline pumping through his body could. He wanted to keep moving. He wanted to live. He wanted to finish the job."


• Unnamed story (LLH - Short Entries), by Roentgen (part 62): "'One reason I feel that the Legion - and metas, and the prospect of alien life forms, in general - were accepted was because of the circumstances. The circumstances are very important."

Sorry, Daria, the DNA Test Says Otherwise

It's National Adoption Day, and it's pretty obvious from the expression on Daria's face that she's hoping at least one of them is adopted. Don't worry, Daria; in another ten years you can at least claim cousin status instead.

Today is also National Vichyssoise Day, so head on over to Chez Pierre and watch the phony French waiters try to pronounce it. Remember to send it back if it comes out cold!


The PPMB is down (again) as of this posting, but when it returns you can check out the latest...
Fandom News!

• What's the best booze? Give your opinion in the thread.


• Australia voted "Yes" to equal marriage rights. What do you think?


• Talk about things that haven't aged well in pop culture.


• Vote in the Deadliest Warrior poll between Custer's 7th Cavalry and Cardigan's Light Brigade.


• psychotol posted a new Iron Chef in Creative Writing: Daria Doing 4Chan challange.


• Roentgen shares some thoughts about writing, particularly about parachute drops.

That Can't Be Good For His Heart Condition, Either!

Mr. DeMartino needs to get with the program, because it's the Great American Smokeout and those cigarettes aren't cheap. Unless Payday has started giving them away as free samples, which honestly wouldn't surprise me.

Today is also National Fast Food Day, so Jake will probably stop off at the Beef 'N Cake for a tasty burger, provided their refrigeration issues have been worked out. Daria and Jane might opt for something safer, like pizza or cheese fries.

Fanfic Update!

• Edicius, by elainefr (part 4): "'Hey.' 'Hey.' 'Come on in,' Jane moved to the side to allow Daria entry into the Lane home. She hadn't been doing much of anything and was debating within herself on whether or not she should try diving into a painting or going for a run or something."


• The Heart of the Griffin, by WildDogJJ (COMPLETE!): "Sandi Griffin woke up with a start. She was sitting up in her bed, drenched in a cold sweat."


• Old Friends (Quinn, Season 2), by WildDogJJ (COMPLETE!): "A panoramic shot of Quinn's high school graduation. Zoom in to show Quinn at the podium with the award she's just received." (Part 2) (Part 3)


• Scenes in a High School Hallway, by Roentgen (part 1): "Jane and Daria waited at their locker. 'So,' Daria said, 'did Tom catch up with you?' 'He thinks you're mad at him. He said he was going to talk to someone. I don't know who. I just wish I knew who.'"


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: The World of Adventures), by Kuriamo22 (COMPLETE!): "In the darkening sky's above the South Pacific Daria was beginning to re evaluate her career as a reporter for The Boston Barnicle. Her editor thought this trip would have been a nice working vacation for her."


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: The World of Adventures), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "The riverboat pulled up along the bank. 'Look Daria,' Jake said. 'The point is, the first day of a new school is bound to be difficult.'"


• Unnamed story (LLH - Short Entries), by Roentgen (part 61): "'People ask why I wasn't there. I'll tell you why. The President. I had expected to be deployed some way by USAES.'"

Once Upon a Slumber Party....

Daria's gotten into the spirit of Young Readers Day, but I'm not sure if the other girls feel the same way. It could be Daria's melodious reading voice or it could be the subject matter, but either way this is clearly not the evening those kids had in mind.

Today is also World Diabetes Day, so be sure to keep Jane's warning in mind:

Mr. O'Neill - You know what they say, a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down.

Jane - Not if you're diabetic.

Fandom News!

• ognawk and Princess_Pasta have recorded a new Lawndale Lowdown podcast.


• Share your favorite villain monologue.


• Vote in the Deadliest Warrior poll between The Addams Family and The Munsters.


• Szcz posted a new Iron Chef in Creative Writing: The World of Adventures.

You Can Still Have an Extra Quart of Grease, Though!

Don't ask me how Daria and Tom can possibly look so sad when they've got pizza on National Pizza With Everything (Except Anchovies) Day. Maybe they just really, really like anchovies? And here Daria thought they didn't have enough in common. Shows how much she knows.

Today is also the anniversary of artist Auguste Rodin's birth in 1840. Rodin is probably best known for his sculpture The Thinker. He is slightly less well known as the sculptor of Steve Taylor's lawn jockey statue.

Fanfic Update!

• Daria of Asgard, by Meester_Lee (part 6): "Phil Coulson thought about his next move. His agents had already formed a cordon around the perimeter of the event, whatever it was, and SHIELD scientists and technicians were now beginning to their examination of the event site to see just what the Hell had happened."


• Drive Safely (Daria and the Gang Thread II), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "After resolving the issue of having her best friend in a jail cell (with her sister shadowing her to boot), Daria was glad to get the fuck out of Dodge and drive back home."


• The Heart of the Griffin, by WildDogJJ (parts 7 - 9): "Sandi Griffin was jumpy and on edge. After hearing the tapes of her mother and John Mangano having an affair and plotting her own murder she was livid. It was the ultimate betrayal." (Part 8) (Part 9)


• The Move, by dmsfanman (part 4): "'Am I getting too old for this?' Daria asked. Tom responded, 'Too old for what?' 'Sugar Tarts for breakfast,' Daria replied in total deadpan while looking at the frosted toaster pastries sitting in front of her."


• Tales of Lawndale: Daria and The Demon, by Eduard Tubin (part 1): "'What are you?' Jane Lane turned on her bedroom light and saw a small boy watching her television. 'What are you doing here?'"


• Unnamed story (LLH - Short Entries), by Roentgen and Brother Grimace (parts 58 - 60): "'I landed in Puerto Rico that morning on a private plane provided by Dawn Hall. Kyle Armalin had gotten in touch with Dawn Hall - how he did that, I'll never understand - and demanded that the Legion have a PR representative in Puerto Rico.'" (Part 59) (Part 60 by Brother Grimace)

W is for WTF?

Daria's freaking everyone out for Sesame Street's anniversary. The beloved (aside from Elmo, who can get lost for all I care) children's show premiered on this day in 1969, and for an excellent Daria-themed tribute see Mike Xeno's "D is for Daria." It's a little bizarre, like any good fanfic should be, but also surprisingly touching.

Fandom News!

• Pay your respects at the passing of Richard F. Gordon, Jr., Roy Halladay, and John Hillerman.


• Come up with the worst thing that Daria characters have done.


• What are the best character traits of Daria characters?

A Good Day to Order Pizza!

Jake's Kitchen Sink Stew should cover both points for Cook Something Bold and Pungent Day, but whether or not anyone will be willing to eat it is up for debate. I think even easy-going mooch Trent might hesitate on this one.

Today is also the anniversary of Hermann Rorschach's birth in 1884. I think we should all celebrate by looking at pictures of a herd of beautiful wild ponies running free across the plains.

Fanfic Update!

• David M., by ST91 (part 1): "When David arrived in the classroom he saw that all the seats were taken except one in the front row. While he was going to sit, David felt all the eyes on him."


• The Heart of the Griffin, by WildDogJJ (parts 4 - 6): "John Mangano and his consiglieri, Dominic Valentino, were meeting at the office of their attorney, Eric Schrecter. They were going over the Ultra-Cola case and the possibility that it could lead to federal indictments." (Part 5) (Part 6)


• Reflections, by Lady Evil (part 1): "Sunday morning, Jane walked by Trent's room to hear him talking on the phone. Once she got over her initial shock of finding her brother awake on a Sunday morning, she listened."


• Unnamed story (LLH - Short Entries), by Roentgen (part 57): "Mack returned to the barracks at Tolnai. There was nothing, nothing he looked forward to more than a nice hot shower, something that would wash the grime off of him, not just physically but mentally."

This Is "Nacho" Usual Holiday

It's Beavis and Butt-head's favorite holiday, National Nachos Day! Daria's probably telling them to celebrate someplace else, or she might be trying to explain to them that it's traditional to celebrate by obtaining and eating nachos. Either way, I'm guessing it's a lost cause.

Fandom News!

• Join the discussion in the political or non-political threads about the mass shooting in Texas.


• Play the Rock, Paper, Scissors, Escalation Game.


• Create your own shared fictional universe with crossovers between various shows or films.


• Fans of the TV show can discuss Stranger Things.

Mmm, Ancient Egyptian Candy!

Jake's enjoying a nice cereal treat for King Tut Day, but I don't think we'll ever know for sure if King Tut was buried without his diver or his liver. I hope you can live with the suspense.

If that sugary cereal isn't sweet enough for you, this is also National Candy Day. Help yourself to some ZooZoo Drops, Juicy Joes, or--best of all--unauthorized chocolate. Bwa-ha-ha-ha!

Fanfic Update!

• Fair is Fair and Hunted (Two of Hearts (one-shot)), by Princess_Pasta (snippets): "If the drive over wasn't excruciating enough, Lawndale High's own version of Medieval Times was the nail in the coffin. Damien observed the scene before him as one would animals at the zoo; the only thing missing was his camera."


• The Heart of the Griffin, by WildDogJJ (parts 1 - 3): "Sandi Griffin was very upset. As she lay in her bed and stared at the ceiling fantasies of killing her mother swirled in her head. She'd been having a nice summer until Linda once again decided to piss on her parade." (Part 2) (Part 3)


• The Move, by dmsfanman (part 3): "Tom and Daria stood in the middle of an empty studio apartment. Daria commented, 'Good God what is that smell?'"


• They knew why, by tjdolf (COMPLETE!): "When someone kills themselves, it really makes you think. The suicide note only said 'You know why', but that was enough."


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Justify My Love), by Smijey (COMPLETE!): "Helen loomed behind Daria as her eldest squinted into the mirror and did the barest minimum she could do to qualify as 'primping up'. Quinn would have dropped dead in shock at seeing her sister put on any makeup at all."


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: The New Canon), by LongSnakeMoan (COMPLETE!): "'Jane, I'm so sorry. I know I was supposed to back on Thursday but I've had a meeting and there may be more to this site than we thought so I may be in Dubai for another month. I know we were due to go out for dinner that I'll have to postpone again. Unless you want to eat here, I can book you a flight.'"


• Unnamed story (LLH - Short Entries), by Roentgen (part 56): "I think the most depressed I ever was in Puerto Rico was when I realized how long we were going to be there."


• Unnamed story (World's Shortest Crossover, Part XIV: The Crossover Awakens!), by Wraith (COMPLETE!): "Tad and Tricia sat quietly for several moments after watching the Star Compass disappear over the falls. Tricia, embarrased from dropping it, said queitly, 'It's fine... it's fine... There is an old saying. Everything taken from the Abyss will eventually return there, be it an object or a life.'"

I Think Quinn Pushed Her Sister Too Far This Time!

Daria's giving everyone fair warning for Plan Your Epitaph Day, but I'd hurry. She seems pretty eager with that shovel.

Besides, death is the theme of the day since it's also All Souls' Day, a day to remember the dead. Considering that's Quinn's name on the gravestone, I don't think that'll be a problem. The most popular girl at Lawndale High is unlikely to be forgotten any time soon, right?

Fandom News!

• Share thoughts and news about Election Day 2017.


• Discuss Daria characters' eye color.


• Vote in the poll for Deadliest Warrior: Vampire Battle Royale.


• Smijey posted a new Iron Chef in Creative Writing: Justify My Love.