Girls Just Wanna Lose Teeth

Today is National Tooth Fairy Day, and Mr. DeMartino is ready to exchange his old teeth for cash. I guess he needs something to supplement his income, considering how little he makes as a teacher. Just remember not to make any rasp-related jokes.

Also, happy birthday to Geoffrey Arend, who was born on this day in 1978. Arend was one of the actors who provided the voice for Upchuck, and let's hope he's much more appealing in real life than his character was.

Fandom News!

• Post your favorite cute pictures in a new thread.


• Join in the Fill-In-the-Anecdote game started by SacredDust.


• Does Quinn have multiple personality disorder? Join the discussion!


• malakite shares a new project, Daria timeline: every episode in order.


• Discuss WrestleTalk: Redemption in a new thread.


• Snow-Kitty posted a new Iron Chef in Creative Writing: Snowstorm Challenge.

If Tom's Pinto Turns into a Pumpkin, Will it be an Improvement?

Daria's all dressed up for the ball because today is Tell a Fairy Tale Day! If you decide to tell your own variation on Cinderella, feel free to borrow Daria and Jane's approach with the Gupty kids ("So Cinderella skipped the ball and asked her fairy Godmother to make her the first woman president.") or try Quinn's style ("Wait! I haven't gotten to the shoes yet!").

Just make sure Daria's home by midnight, because today is also her anniversary. Or rather, it's the anniversary of the episode "Sappy Anniversary," which aired on this day in 2001. Tom and Daria hit some bumps in their relationdateshipthing, Quinn actually tries to help, and Jake dabbles in bleeding edge e-vision. Or something.

Fanfic Update!

• Ah, Hell, by metameric1 (part 15): "He leaned over, lifted the book from her face and kissed her lightly. She reached up and pulled him down, making him lose his balance. They rolled over, narrowly missing her computer. 'Hey,' she deadpanned, sitting on his chest. 'Distract me.'"


• Alienation, by malakite (part 8): "Tuesday was boring. It was, in a way, an accomplishment. Several of her classes were shared with some inhuman thing which had obviously noticed her, yet the dull drone of pointless test preparation managed to drown out the fear she should probably feel."


• As Though She Had Done It All Before..., by Shiva (part 10): "Tiffany looked at her reflection from the full-length mirror in her closet before glancing at her reflection from the vanity and back to the full length again. From her usual standing position she could see her image from different angles, not just up close but from far away as well. She had to be absolutely sure that the outfit she was wearing was perfect."


• Be Careful What You Wish For (Snowstorm Challenge), by malakite (COMPLETE!): "Jane stared at the iced over window. They were trapped. The phones were dead, the fireplace was low on wood and the last weather report she'd been able to pull up said the blizzard would not stop for at least 4 days. The power had flickered out hours ago."


• The Best Work of the KPA (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: Do What Now?), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "Tom woke up as soon as the cold water hit him full force. 'Wuh-what?' He groaned as he came too and quickly realized that he wasn't in his apartment in New York."


• Culture Shocked, by metameric1 (COMPLETE!): "'Where are we going again?' Jane asked from the back seat. They were in an unfamiliar part of Boston, about a half hour away from the Raft and BFAC campuses."


• Forward Motion, by SentrytheDefiant (COMPLETE!): "The lanky musician drummed his fingers against the counter, his dark eyes roaming from the rack of celebrity magazines to the 50 cent potato chip display. It was all the same."


• From The Depths It Rises (LongSnakeMoan's Fluff Thread), by LongSnakeMoan (COMPLETE!): "'Hi. My name is Tori Jericho from the Lawndale Sun-Herald. I'm here to speak to you and your husband about your extraordinary family. I know that you don't normally do interviews but you're a Lawndale native and a bit of a star there now.'"


• May I have a Cheeseburger?, by metameric1 (part 7): "My Dearest Weevil, Something is changing. What exactly it is, I cannot say; I feel a shift in my household that I find disconcerting."


• Relationship Advice (Daria and the Gang Thread), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "Jodie and Brittany were talking to each other at Lunch. 'So, how's life with the star quarterback?' 'It sucks,' Brittany said."


• Renewment, by RLobinske (part 1): "Seated under the banner, Helen Morgendorffer smiled and accepted the sincere wishes of her fellow State Board Association coworkers. Retirement. Part of me doesn't believe that I made it."


• Shiva's Take on the BG/Dennis Angst Lightsaber Off In Crayon Style! (Iron Chef: Crayons Galore), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "leik ohe noes!' Zandi Griffindor exanimated all sadly n junk as hur pet kittiecat Mr. Fluffybutt sO TOTallly died on da dence flur."


• Sleeping Firsts, by Snow-Kitty (parts 2 and 3): "A sneaky, impulsive, thought entered Anthony's mind. Just a small one. That's all it took for him to roll over on top of the giggly blond lying next to him, and pin her delicate wrists to the bed." (Part 3)


• Ten Year Reunion, by Vanillabeancobain (part 1): "It was her ten year reunion this year. A fact that made her feel older without really being much wiser."


• Unnamed story (IC: Write Where It's Hurts For Everyone!), by JPAGC (COMPLETE!): "The waving red hair contrasted beautiful with the Ivory white, perfect skin of Quinn Morgendorffer as she left the big, imposing Ivy League college building in a self-assured step. Behind was a small group of girls, still awed by her mere presence, having left behind"


• Unnamed story (IC: Write Where It's Hurts For Everyone!), by Snow-Kitty (COMPLETE!): "The tall, handsome, history teacher pushed the young artistic extraordinaire onto the plush bed in the middle of the room. 'Oh, Mr. DeMartino. I had no idea you could be so forceful,' the young woman quipped with desire."


• Unnamed story (The 1,001 Deaths of Kevin Thompson), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "On a dare from his bros on the football team, Kevin decided to make fun of Andrea for being a goth fat chick. Non stop."

Eye See You!

Daria's taking a good look at us to make sure we remember that today is the fifteenth anniversary of the episode "Through a Lens Darkly." Daria got contacts, discovered her inner vanity, and almost ran over a dog. Good times.

Fandom News!

• Kem has a question about replying to an announcement thread.


• Is Mr. DeMartino the kind of teacher all the girls liked? Throw in your two cents in the thread.


• See the recently announced cast of the upcoming Fantastic Four movie and join the debate!


• Share your opinion on the coming reboot of the TV series Heroes.


• Shiva posted a new Iron Chef in Creative Writing: Write Where It's Hurts For Everyone!


• drocem is looking for model sheets for Mack, Helen, and Tiffany.

Did He Chop Down the Tommy Sherman Memorial Cherry Tree?

Kevin is portraying the first American president, George Washington, who was born on this day in 1732. Although if Mrs. Stoller's test is any indication, he probably has no idea who that is.

Today also happens to be Walking the Dog Day, so go take Fido for a little spin. Just make sure Daria's not behind the wheel of a car first.

Fanfic Update!

• Alienation, by malakite (part 8): "The remaining theories extended from time traveling space creatures to lunar spirits to non-human ghosts to tulpas. In short, they had no idea. She'd just have to work it out herself, preferably before it killed anyone, or at least before it killed anyone else."


• Alt Rock, by Indigo (part 4): "'They let O'Neill try and teach other people about self-esteem?' said an incredulous Daria who had just experienced Timothy O'Neill's inept touchy-feely teaching style in English class"


• Crazy Love (Shorty Shorts), by ognawk (COMPLETE!): "'It's Janey. She's been acting weird all weekend. I think you need to see all this.' Daria was worried now. 'I'll be over as soon as I can.'"


• Is This Adulthood?, by Princess_Pasta (part 5): "The jeep rolled to a stop in front of the Sunshine Diner and I pretended that I didn't want to scream. Of course I knew we would come here. It was Sunday morning after all and that meant breakfast. I was sick of the Sunshine Diner."


• Jane & Cass, by PrecambrianStudios (part 6): "Armand shrugged his beaten pilot's jacket onto his shoulders as he silently closed the front door of his house, so gingerly as though he were afraid that the slightest noise would make the whole house come down. He glided off the front porch and started down the street."


• Lawndale's Next Top Baller, by rvgonzal (parts 5 and 6): "Even though Jane thought it was great Daria finally met a guy she deemed worthy enough to talk to, she was just concerned because Daria never moved this fast with people especially with guys... and that guy tom somehow managed to wiggle his way in with Daria so quick." (Part 6)


• Pop Goes The Sloane (1,001 Deaths of Tom Sloane - Part II), by ognawk (COMPLETE!): "Tom continued looking around the room when Daria left, and noticed her closet was wide open. After staring for a minute, curiousity got the better of him and he walked over."


• A Rose In The Thorns, by breitasparrow (part 2): "Rosalie's heart was pounding hard in her ears. '... I was thinking that, since the wedding begins this afternoon, if I win...' She could feel beads of sweat forming on her forehead as she tried desperately to avoid stuttering. '... You get to be my escort to the reception this evening.'"


• Sleeping Firsts, by Snow-Kitty (part 1): "Brittany tiptoed around Kevin's bed, careful not to wake the person sleeping in it. She stripped off her bathrobe in the glow of moonlight washing over the small room through the opaque window curtains, and slid between the bedclothes as she sidled close to him."


• Slipping Away (The 1,001 Deaths of Kevin Thompson), by SinisterExaggerator (COMPLETE!): "'I can't believe you got Kevin to do this,' said Jane. Daria, glaring back at her, had just set the banana peel on the floor. 'Actually, on second thought, I can totally believe you got Kevin to do this.'"


• Tr00 Kvlt Daria, by SacredDust (COMPLETE!): "Daria Necrodorffer trudged mournfully out of the grim and frostbitten ice caves beneath a bitter midnight moon that conjured blasphemous images of the pockmarked and undead face of Satan...." (Parts 2 - 6)


• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: Do What Now?), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "Daria looked at her newest purchase for her new apartment. It was several hundred dollars, but she felt it was worth it: a Japanese talking toilet." (Part 2)


• Wee-Tail Therapy (Iron Chef: Random Pairing Challenge 2014!), by ognawk (COMPLETE!): "'Diane?' Timothy said with surprise, 'What are you doing here?'"


• Whatever Happened to Miss Li?, by Ravynstone (part 1): "The building was all concrete and steel, surrounded by manicured green lawns and carefully planted flower beds. It could have passed for an upscale office building if one didn't see the sign, illuminated by carefully placed lights, identifying it as Angela Li Senior High School."

Just Don't Get Jake Started on the Subject

Leary is looking happy because today is Love Your Pet Day, and the Yeagers are probably preparing him an extra special (all-natural, organic, hand-kneaded, pectin-filled) treat for the occasion. It seems odd that no regular Daria characters seem to have pets that got featured onscreen. Sandi had Fluffy, but we never got to see him. The Daria Database tells us that the Lanes have two cats, but they never even get mentioned on the show itself. Where do you suppose all the pets have been hiding?

Fandom News!

• See pictures of Wouter's most recent guitar.


• Share your ideas for things that make Anthony DeMartino happy.


• Fans can talk about Shadowrun and Earthdawn in a new thread.


• See the trailer and discuss the upcoming movie Guardians of the Galaxy.


• Roentgen posted a new art Iron Chef in The Easel: Clothes switch.

Don't Whine; Drink Wine!

Jane and Alison are observing National Drink Wine Day in the traditional manner, although I don't foresee the evening ending well for either of them. Feel free to have a glass or two yourself in honor of the day, but don't take anyone up on their offer to show you their pastels. Just...don't.

Fanfic Update!

• As Though She Had Done It All Before..., by Shiva (part 9): "'Daria!' Daria froze solid as she stared at what should have been an inanimate object in total and absolute disbelief."


• The Beginning, by SentrytheDefiant (COMPLETE!): "So, I was standing in a circle with Ralph and his friends when I noticed her."


• Benjamin Peter Morgendoffer, by Veleriphon (part 4): "'Ben, to WHAT do I owe the interruption of my GLORious meal?' That eye of his still creeps me out as I stood there for a few seconds before rebooting, 'Wanted to ask you a favor, Mr. DeMartino.'"


• The Game of Six, by Erin M. (part 2): "'The Game of Six?' Twilight echoed. 'Well, it's an old Equestrian game, dating back before the pre-Classical Era. It kind of fell out of fashion after chess was invented. I don't think anypony plays it anymore.'"


• Is This Adulthood?, by Princess_Pasta (part 4): "The monthly Sloane family dinner was upon me and I wasn't the least bit enthusiastic."


• It's So Cold, by Doggieboy (COMPLETE!): "I'm the only one who made it. The only one who survived. Based on how much snow and ice I see out there, the others may be the lucky ones."


• Lawndale's Next Top Baller, by rvgonzal (part 4): "He knew he couldn't figure out his weird thoughts about Daria tonight, but knew in Daria he had at least found an unexpected muse."


• Once You See, by lulamae-golightly (part 6): "Stacy was one of the only ones eating outside at lunch. Quinn looked out the window and saw her, nibbling on her sandwich and trying to keep her hair out of her face. She rose from her chair and began walking out."


• Quinn's Code 10: Blue Screen of Sherman, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 1): "'But the man is coming! The man! Tommy Sherman brought it home, bro! The State Championship. And now he's coming back to Lawndale!'"


• Tickle Test (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: Do What Now?), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "Sandi suppressed a grunt of annoyance as the ever-desperate Brooke approached her and the Fashion Club in the hallways of Lawndale High."


• Unnamed story (1,001 Deaths of Tom Sloane - Part II), by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "Trent looked at the impossibly smug Tom Sloane and the incredibly lecherous Upchuck. 'Take them... to the Iron Maiden.'"


• Unnamed story (The 1001 Humiliations of Quinn Morgendorffer), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "As Quinn sat down to lunch with the others members of the Fashion Club, she noticed once more the strange, amused looks on her friends faces."


• Valentine's Day, by SentrytheDefiant (COMPLETE!): "She sat comfortably on the worn sofa, her hands pressed over her eyes. She was sure she was smudging her glasses beyond belief but she had sworn to keep her eyes closed and she didn't trust herself not to peek."

But Was He Buried Without His Diver?

Ninety-one years ago today, Howard Carter opened King Tutankhamun's tomb. I don't know if O'Neill there is supposed to be King Tut or not, but if he is, I guarantee Carter found a whole bunch of echinacea and self-help books in there.

Speaking of Mr. O'Neill, it was also on this day in 1998 that the episode "Arts 'N Crass" aired on MTV, and in it we got to see what might be O'Neill's most positive portrayal on the show as he took Daria and Jane's side on having the poster entered against their objections and tried to stand up to Ms. Li. Sure, he failed miserably, but I give him credit for at least trying.

Fandom News!

• What fragrances would Jake Morgendorffer, Timothy O'Neill, Anthony DeMartino wear?


• Talk about the video game Mega Man in the Weapons of Mass Distraction forum.


• NightGoblyn wonders if there's any interest in a "Where I Watch" or "Where I Read" thread.


• Star Trek fans, gather here to talk about your favorite versions of the show.

Just Be Relieved He Hasn't Gotten His Hands on that Love Taser

Upchuck would like to wish everyone a happy Valetine's Day! Everyone else would like Upchuck to put on some damn pants, please. In the meantime, please enjoy this list of Valentine's Day-themed fanfic:

• Acts of Cupidity by Disco 3:16


• The Bear and the Unicorn by Brother Grimace


• A Bitter Aftertaste by Dennis


• Daria/Dorian: Love Rescue Me by Di


• Old Married Valentines by RLobinske


• Pause in the Air: Family Affairs by The Angst Guy


• The Secret Life by The Angst Guy


• The Valentine Crush by LILJELLYB AND T1TANIC111


• Valentine's Day by Deref


• A Valentine’s Day to Remember by Galen Hardesty

Also, check out this Valentine's Day picture created by S.C.! Don't worry; everyone's wearing pants in this one.

Fanfic Update!

• Advice on Motherhood (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: Do What Now?), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "'Oh Daria,' Kay Sloane laughed while dishing out advice, 'Motherhood is a joyless burden, it's best just to hire a Mexican nanny to do the hard work for you.'"


• Alienation, by malakite (part 7): "Daria practically bounced out of his car as they finally stopped in front of her house. She smiled her sweetest smile as she waved to what-his-name. She made a small show of glancing about, 'adjusted' her skirt and said with faux-disappointment 'Oh, I guess Dad is home after all.Well, thanks for the ride anyway.'"


• Alt Rock, by Indigo (part 3): "'Oh. Bummer. Hold on... you've got a sister that doesn't like Rock music?' asked Jane 'Quinn likes the music fine; it's the type of boys that go to Rock concerts that she doesn't like'"


• Friday Night Exchange, by GlitterShrooms (COMPLETE!): "Quinn tilted her head towards the clock to check the time - Almost seven. Three. Two. One. She remained still as someone busted into her room. Like freaking clockwork."


• Ghost World, by SentrytheDefiant (COMPLETE!): "They were two weeks into their summer vacation and they were still reveling in their newfound freedom. High school was finally over and they were thoroughly relieved."


• Her Mother's Daughter, by Ravynstone (COMPLETE!): "'Are you sure you want to do this, Hel?' 'I'm sure.'"


• Is This Adulthood?, by Princess_Pasta (part 3): "Thin rays of sunshine spilled their way through the gaps in my blinds, casting themselves over my eyelids. I let my eyes open, slowly, none too eager to be assaulted by the sunlight. My eyes focused on Vicki's sleeping form...or what I could make out."


• Lawndale's Next Top Baller, by rvgonzal (parts 2 and 3): "Wearing a pink baby doll dress, her doc. Martens, same hairstyle, pink framed cat eyeglasses and light make up she looks like every 90's seventeen magazine cover girl. Daria is at the front door talking to the three js." (Part 3)


• Nooooooo (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: Do What Now?), by SacredDust (COMPLETE!): "'Um...who's this?' Trent asked. 'Duhh, you called ME. Who's this?' a ditzy-sounding girl said on the other end." (Part 2)


• Once You See, by lulamae-golightly (part 5): "I'm going to be like them. For years, it had been her obsession, her goal. To be like them."


• The Red Skirts, by NapalmKracken (part 3): "'Which one are we looking for?' 'The Mahan Conference Room, sir.' Petty Officer Stacy Rowe told him, not even bothering to check the blue PADD permanently affixed to her left hand. Come to think of it he'd never seen her actually use it when he asked her anything, she knew already."


• Sonoma Coma, by jtranser (part 14): "'Upchuck, did you really think I'd be driven mad by the power of powdered teddy bear skulls slipped into my drink?'"


• Stop the Presses (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: Do What Now?), by SacredDust (COMPLETE!): "'No. Nope, nope. Forget it. Not reading it. Not even looking at it.' Tori Jericho shook her head in disgust as she stalked across the newsroom."


• Unnamed story (1,001 Deaths of Tom Sloane - Part II), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "'How awesome is this?!' Tom thought to himself for the millionth time as he floated in zero-g, 'I'm in outer-fucking-space!'"

But Could Lincoln Write Poetry about Rotting Bags of Flesh?

Andrea gets center stage for the second time in a row because we're celebrating Abraham Lincoln's birthday. The well-known president was born on this day in 1809, and according to "Depth Takes a Holiday" he wasn't a big fan of sandals. We also know that Brittany is a little unclear on the circumstances of his assassination:

Daria: I'm playing Mrs. Lincoln, after she went crazy.

Brittany: I didn't know she went crazy.

Jane: Oh, yeah. That's why Lincoln shot himself.

Brittany: Wow!

Jodie: Come on, Brittany. Let's finish our fitting, and I'll tell you all about how nice Mr. Lincoln really died.

Fandom News!

• Reese Kaine requests a way to link to Twitter posts.


• Silver muses about gonzo journalism.


• Talk about the movies The Lego Movie and Zombeavers in the Weapons of Mass Distraction forum.


• Post clips of music worse than Mystik Spiral's, and see others' choices as well.


• Roentgen posted a new Iron Chef in Creative Writing: Fashion Club Fandom.

It's Raining, It's Pouring, the Goth Girl Thinks It's Boring

Andrea is shown here celebrating Umbrella Day, although she doesn't appear to be enjoying it very much. Perhaps because she realizes that umbrellas aren't a whole lot of good when you're trudging through a couple of feet of snow in bone-chillingly cold temperatures?

Fanfic Update!

• College Bound, by SentrytheDefiant (COMPLETE!): "Being pretty and popular is both a blessing and a curse. Well, evidently more of a blessing but you get my point."


• Fall of the House of Romanov (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: Do What Now?), by LongSnakeMoan (COMPLETE!): "Elsie felt a large hand roughly shake her shoulder and it shook her roughly from her the welcome respite of her slumbers."


• Hard Truth (Iron Chef: Random Pairing Challenge 2014!), by SacredDust (COMPLETE!): "Lindy swallowed the lump in her throat. Her head still hurt from last night. 'You don't have to go.' 'I can't do it anymore, Lindy. I can't keep getting my hopes up so you can tear them down again. I'm exhausted.'"


• Is It Tenure Yet? (You're Standing On My Track), by JohnnyLurg (parts 1 and 2): "'I can't believe a college as politically and religiously conservative as Pepperhill would select you to be their first lesbian Artist in Residence,' said Professor Daria Morgendorffer to her longtime companion Jane Lane as the two women sipped java mochas in the luxury of Pepperhill University's café." (Part 2)


• Lawndale's Next Top Baller, by rvgonzal (part 1): "Jane: (is grumbling aloud looking through piles on floor) "Where the hell is it, dammit! $1100 gone from my savings stash, well mine and Trent's savings... if he took he would have told me'... (Thinking) well eventually he would have... sometime... maybe... (Screaming) arrrgg! Trent!"


• Legacy of Elizabeth, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (parts 1 and 2): "Queen Elizabeth of England was alone in her office reviewing some paperwork (there were many interests that sought the attention of the Crown). A blue light filled the room. The Queen turned to find a stranger emerging from a circle of light." (Part 2)


• Lindy at AA (Iron Chef: Random Pairing Challenge 2014!), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "Lindy took a moment to steel herself, after all it was only her second time at the meeting and it would be the first time that she would dare to speak."


• Match Breaker, by SacredDust (part 12): "'Remember the mall, when I had to run one more errand after you spoke with Quinn? Well...I happened to run into her again, and since her friends had left her with all those shopping bags to take out, I did my good deed for the day and helped her. From there, we just started talking and, well...' Tom's good mood abruptly died. 'You and her? Elsie, please tell me you're joking.'"


• Of Liars and Thieves, by SentrytheDefiant (COMPLETE!): "All I could do was stare at the wall, ignoring the heated debate brewing downstairs. This couldn't be happening. Not to me. I could just hear her words echoing around me, 'You'd never do anything to hurt me.'"


• Once You See, by lulamae-golightly (part 4): "She took a bite of her chicken as it hit her. I can go out and buy my dress tomorrow. For the prom."


• Saints Rowe (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: Do What Now?), by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): "'Girls, I just want you to know your mother and I realize it's not easy moving to a whole new town -- what the hell--'"


• Secrets, by SentrytheDefiant (COMPLETE!): "I love her. Once the thought had taken fruition, there was no going back."


• Severed Ties, by SentrytheDefiant (COMPLETE!): "The perfectly monogrammed letters were typed in forest green onto thick off-white cardstock. The front of the invitation was plain and simple: You are cordially invited to celebrate the engagement of: Thomas Sloane & Daria Morgendorffer"


• The Stalwart (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: Do What Now?), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "Eighty eight year old Doug Thompson cackled madly as he stood on the side of the highway, his bathrobe flapping in the wind of passing cars."


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Random Pairing Challenge 2014!), by Greystar (COMPLETE!): "Daria slipped her glasses back on and went back to taking notes from the book she was looking at, deciding that she was going to bury her thoughts in the research project for history class. She managed to get a couple of entries down before she looked up to turn the page and saw a young blonde boy walk around the nearby bookshelf."

Good Thing Jane's Already Paid off that Cookie Debt!

This band of roving Girl Scout villains is shaking down old ladies for cash because today is National Girl Scout Cookie Day! I'm sure Jane would look back on her days as a cookie pusher with fondness if she could remember them post-deprogramming. The rest of us can hold up some Thin Mints as a toast to pint-sized entrepreneurs everywhere!

Fandom News!

• Scissors MacGillicutty needs to know PPMB members' birth years.


• Talk about the crazy winter those of us in the Northern Hemisphere have been having lately.


• What do you think of CVS's decision to stop selling tobacco?


• Shiva shares a few thoughts on Janet Barch, the professional teacher.

The Sultan of Sensitive

Mr. O'Neill is trying out a new activity in honor of Babe Ruth, who was born on this day in 1895. I'm not sure how to break it to him that you play baseball outside, where there could be pollen and poisonous plants and algae blooms. Also, he should know that one team generally loses the game, which could damage their self-esteem.

Then again, let him find out the hard way. Could be funny to see.

Fanfic Update!

• Ah, Hell, by metameric1 (parts 13 and 14): "'He was looking forward to making me happy, and I let him down again.' She took a sip of her now cold coffee. 'What the hell is wrong with me?'" (Part 14)


• Alienation, by malakite (part 6): "Getting home had proven more difficult than Daria had hoped, but less difficult than she'd feared."


• Alt Rock, by Indigo (part 2): "Daria turned around to see a striking looking girl with black hair, sapphire blue eyes, three earrings in one ear and a jacket that was as red as her lipstick. 'The name is Jane Lane by the way' she said sticking out her hand."


• Daria 1/2, by LSauchelli (part 9): "Mack was feeling down at the moment. In fact, he had been feeling down for over a month now, since the time Ryoga attacked the school. He hadn’t been able to do anything about it, just another victim in the story. Maybe not the worst victim, he thought, thinking of Daria and her eye. He wondered if she’d recover her eyesight any time soon."


• High School Never Ends, by welltemperedclavier (COMPLETE!): "She didn't know how well she really taught any of them. Some already basically understood the material and only needed a bit of guidance; they'd have likely earned decent grades without her help. Others struggled with the very concepts and she'd drive herself half-mad trying to explain." (Part 12) (Part 13) (Part 14)


• Is This Adulthood?, by Princess_Pasta (part 2): "I was still picturing his olive eyes, still hearing the softness in his voice, still watching as he drummed his fingers against the table and fidgeted with the sleeves on his jacket. Damn it, why did I think this was a good idea?"


• Last Night in the Tent (Iron Chef: Random Pairing Challenge 2014!), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "Trent stirred in his sleep as he heard the zipper to the tent being undone."


• My New Uncle (Shorty Shorts: Marriages & Deaths), by ognawk (COMPLETE!): "'Sorry I couldn’t come to your wedding, Amy,' Daria said."


• New Kid in the Cul-de-sac, by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "Daria found herself waking up on hot pavement, her head throbbing in pain."


• No One Is To Blame, by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "As Tom Sloane left the Conference Room, he was mildly surprised to see that the other Legionnaires were standing silently, as if waiting for him to exit the room – " (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5) (Part 6) (Part 7)


• Once You See, by lulamae-golightly (parts 1 - 3): "Stacy Rowe lost her first tooth when she was six and got hit in the face with a soccer ball at PE. Her face was bloody, and she was screaming. That's when Sandi Griffin knew she hated her." (Part 2) (Part 3)


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Jake Morgendorffer Isn't), by Dark Kuno (COMPLETE!): "Helen: I'm not your wife. Jake: The hell you're not! Helen: (panicked)I swear to God!...I never saw you before six months ago! Our marriage is just a memory implant... !"

Neither snow nor RAIN nor heat nor GLOOM of NIGHT!

DeMartino is very happy because it's Thank A Mailman Day! You might want to thank him from a distance or, better yet, just send a card. I'm not sure he's had his meds today.

Fandom News!

• The 2013 Daria Fanworks Awards Winners have been announced. Congratulations, everyone!


• AHT saw a Daria cosplayer recently, and has shared a picture.


• Three Iron Chefs have been posted in Creative Writing: JoeMerl's Random Pairing Challenge 2014, Ms. Kinnikufan's Jake without Ruth, and malakite's Jake Morgendorffer Isn't


• Snow-Kitty has a fanart request involving DeMartino and Jane.

Okay, Maybe That's Actually Al Roker, but the Same Principle Applies, Right?

Today we celebrate the tradition of the weather-controlling rodent who terrorizes us all with his super-powered shadow. Or something. All I know is, the little guy did see his shadow today, so that means six more weeks of winter. Looking out my window, I can believe that. Stupid snow.

Fanfic Update!

• Abattoir Blues (2)- The Killing Moon, by LongSnakeMoan (part 2): "I sit on what could be possibly the dirtiest door step in New York, the grit from the dirt digs into my thighs and I stretch my legs into the last of the sunlight as Rosie passes me a cigarette."


• The Adventures In The Morgendorffer-Sloane Residency, by muskweasel (part 4): "I examined the infant sitting directly across from me. She had big hazel eyes, courtesy of her father, and was starting to sprout thick copper coloured bits of hair, like her mother."


• Ah, Hell, by metameric1 (part 12): "She opened her eyes; feeling the weight on her bed alongside her. Turning her head, she traced his outline in her mind; she thought about how much of herself had been subtly altered to make a place for him in her life."


• Alienation, by malakite (parts 4 and 5): "Daria slowly chewed her eggs as she watched her father watching her. Helen had left by the time Daria came down to eat, while Quinn was muttering something vaguely angry sounding under her breath as she rapidly typed into her phone." (Part 5)


• Alt Rock, by Indigo (COMPLETE!): "Daria Morgendorffer and her younger sister Quinn had just moved to Lawndale and as part of their first day at Lawndale High were required to take a psychological test."


• Battle-Axe, by meowarts (part 5): "'Here Daria, have some more.' Daria's vision turned blurry for a second before her bespectacled eyes focused on a hand holding a paper cup outstretched towards her."


• Behind the Counter, by NightGoblyn (part 7): "Daria rolled her eyes and stood, putting her novel down on the desk and walking out of the back and behind the counter. She saw a thin, blond-haired man jogging towards the back of the store, and glanced over to the clock. Three-oh-five a.m. She rolled her eyes again. Great."


• Daria's Petition (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: Do What Now?), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "'So Daria...' 'Yes Jane?' 'How exactly is that petition you made to get Justin Bieber deported going?'"


• High School Never Ends, by welltemperedclavier (parts 8 - 10): "'Hey, Daria, I'm going out for some pizza. You should come too.' 'Why?' 'I'd like to get to know the girl who's been writing my essays a bit better.'" (Part 9) (Part 10)


• Is This Adulthood?, by SentrytheDefiant (part 1): "I was in awe of the girl, no, the woman sitting in the booth across from me. Years of feelings I thought long dead had come rushing back to me at full speed."


• Let 'Em Burn, by Erin M. (COMPLETE!): "JUDITH: The volcano glows red and everyone's dead not a body to be seen A nation of ash and cinders and it looks like I'm the queen"


• LotR: Decisions in Isengard (Non-Daria), by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 1): "Meriadoc Brandybuck and Peregin Took looked up at the large tower as the Orc pack slowed. 'Well, Pip, we're in for it now,' Merry said."


• Marriages & Deaths (Shorty Shorts), by ognawk (COMPLETE!): "It was a lovely day for a trip, as Jane Sloane-Lane sat in the passenger side of a top of the line, dark blue Mercedes that belonged to her partner."


• Match Breaker, by SacredDust (part 11): "'Gee, Quinn,' Sandi crossed her arms and looked away. 'Apparently one friend like that just wasn't enough for you. But I'm SO happy to see that your social circle is expanding so far beyond us. Obviously, you're in such good company that you are way beyond the Fashion Club.'"


• Popular Girl Esteem, by Shiva (part 2): "'Oye,' Tori muttered while walking down the halls of Lawndale High with her friends, 'It's another beautiful day and here we are, about to face a pop quiz in math class.'"


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Random Pairing Challenge!), by JoeMerl (COMPLETE!): "Link Rouillard slumped onto a stool, casting an angry look down onto the bar."


• Venom, by Astrocar82 (part 8): "'Thanks for letting us stay over, Helen,' Jane said as she and Trent grabbed their possessions out of The Tank, which had somehow made it into the Morgendorffer's driveway while backing up, and started hauling them into the house."


• What is Fashion?, by Smijey (part 6): "He swaggered up to her locker (the molecules were already starting to fracture), gave his smarmiest smirk, and spoke. 'Hello, enchanting Alexandra,' he said, giving an exaggerated bow. 'I've heard through the usual peer gossip lines that you're on a quest for fashion.'"


• A Woman and Her Cat, by ST91 (COMPLETE!): "Daria Morgendorffer was lying on the sofa reading a book. 'Daria can we talk for a minute?' asked Jane, coming out of her room."