Did He Chop Down the Tommy Sherman Memorial Cherry Tree?

Kevin is portraying the first American president, George Washington, who was born on this day in 1732. Although if Mrs. Stoller's test is any indication, he probably has no idea who that is.

Today also happens to be Walking the Dog Day, so go take Fido for a little spin. Just make sure Daria's not behind the wheel of a car first.

Fanfic Update!

• Alienation, by malakite (part 8): "The remaining theories extended from time traveling space creatures to lunar spirits to non-human ghosts to tulpas. In short, they had no idea. She'd just have to work it out herself, preferably before it killed anyone, or at least before it killed anyone else."


• Alt Rock, by Indigo (part 4): "'They let O'Neill try and teach other people about self-esteem?' said an incredulous Daria who had just experienced Timothy O'Neill's inept touchy-feely teaching style in English class"


• Crazy Love (Shorty Shorts), by ognawk (COMPLETE!): "'It's Janey. She's been acting weird all weekend. I think you need to see all this.' Daria was worried now. 'I'll be over as soon as I can.'"


• Is This Adulthood?, by Princess_Pasta (part 5): "The jeep rolled to a stop in front of the Sunshine Diner and I pretended that I didn't want to scream. Of course I knew we would come here. It was Sunday morning after all and that meant breakfast. I was sick of the Sunshine Diner."


• Jane & Cass, by PrecambrianStudios (part 6): "Armand shrugged his beaten pilot's jacket onto his shoulders as he silently closed the front door of his house, so gingerly as though he were afraid that the slightest noise would make the whole house come down. He glided off the front porch and started down the street."


• Lawndale's Next Top Baller, by rvgonzal (parts 5 and 6): "Even though Jane thought it was great Daria finally met a guy she deemed worthy enough to talk to, she was just concerned because Daria never moved this fast with people especially with guys... and that guy tom somehow managed to wiggle his way in with Daria so quick." (Part 6)


• Pop Goes The Sloane (1,001 Deaths of Tom Sloane - Part II), by ognawk (COMPLETE!): "Tom continued looking around the room when Daria left, and noticed her closet was wide open. After staring for a minute, curiousity got the better of him and he walked over."


• A Rose In The Thorns, by breitasparrow (part 2): "Rosalie's heart was pounding hard in her ears. '... I was thinking that, since the wedding begins this afternoon, if I win...' She could feel beads of sweat forming on her forehead as she tried desperately to avoid stuttering. '... You get to be my escort to the reception this evening.'"


• Sleeping Firsts, by Snow-Kitty (part 1): "Brittany tiptoed around Kevin's bed, careful not to wake the person sleeping in it. She stripped off her bathrobe in the glow of moonlight washing over the small room through the opaque window curtains, and slid between the bedclothes as she sidled close to him."


• Slipping Away (The 1,001 Deaths of Kevin Thompson), by SinisterExaggerator (COMPLETE!): "'I can't believe you got Kevin to do this,' said Jane. Daria, glaring back at her, had just set the banana peel on the floor. 'Actually, on second thought, I can totally believe you got Kevin to do this.'"


• Tr00 Kvlt Daria, by SacredDust (COMPLETE!): "Daria Necrodorffer trudged mournfully out of the grim and frostbitten ice caves beneath a bitter midnight moon that conjured blasphemous images of the pockmarked and undead face of Satan...." (Parts 2 - 6)


• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: Do What Now?), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "Daria looked at her newest purchase for her new apartment. It was several hundred dollars, but she felt it was worth it: a Japanese talking toilet." (Part 2)


• Wee-Tail Therapy (Iron Chef: Random Pairing Challenge 2014!), by ognawk (COMPLETE!): "'Diane?' Timothy said with surprise, 'What are you doing here?'"


• Whatever Happened to Miss Li?, by Ravynstone (part 1): "The building was all concrete and steel, surrounded by manicured green lawns and carefully planted flower beds. It could have passed for an upscale office building if one didn't see the sign, illuminated by carefully placed lights, identifying it as Angela Li Senior High School."