Never Surrender...Unless It's Against Corporal Ellenbogen

Jake's doing a pretty good impression of Winston Churchill, perhaps the best-known of England's prime ministers, who was born on this day in 1874. There are a few similarities between the two, most notably their love of alcohol. I suppose if Jake had become the leader of his country, Mad Dog might have actually had something kind to say to his son. But I doubt it.

We also wish a happy birthday to both Jonathan Swift and Mark Twain, two famous satirical authors who were born on this day in 1667 and 1835. It probably goes without saying that Daria would be a fan of both, although she might have had a favorite between the two. After all, I don't think we ever saw her wear a Jonathan Swift nightshirt.

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• Ask Roentgen your questions in the new Ask the Author thread.