Why, Helen, You Grow Lovelier By the Day!

Helen and Jake look surprisingly cute together, which is weird because Rhett and Scarlett from Gone with the Wind had a very unhealthy relationship. Still, the book was published on this day in 1936, and considering how often the book and/or movie were referenced on Daria it would be wrong not to mention it today.

This is also the anniversary of the episode "The Big House," which aired on this day in 1997. I still want to know the story behind the "No pimple pads in the toilet" rule.

Fanfic Update!

• Changing Lanes, by midnightabyss86 (parts 3 - 5): "'Oh, so that's what you meant,' said Stacy, who was looking through Quinn's closest for an outfit to borrow for tonight's party." (Part 4) (Part 5)


• First contact, by OzFerret (COMPLETE!): "His heart pounded in his chest, drowning out all other noises. He shook his head. 'How was he supposed to listen for intruders with all this noise?' he wondered."


• My Breast Fiend, by Smijey (parts 4 and 5): "Darius opened the front door reluctantly, as he always did on school days, and was surprised to see Jane standing there in her running clothes. 'Hey, Darius!' she greeted, in a tone far too cheerful for before noon. 'Today, I'm going to help you start training your speed!'" (Part 5)


• Options, by Brother Grimace (parts 7 and 8): "'Get up, small person.' Julia Carlyle opened her eyes, and saw - for the last time - the sun shine into her dorm room on the tenth floor of Schmidt Hall... her home, more or less, for the last five years." (Part 8)


• Unnamed story (LLH Short Entries #2), by Roentgen (part 130): "The Ad-Hoc Committee on Admissions to the Legion Academy met. They had received hundreds of applications from metahumans all over the world. From this list, they would have to whittle the final number down to just twenty-five."

Pierced Brains, Anyone?

Daria's showing off her tribute to International Body Piercing Day, and Jane looks distinctly unimpressed about it. No need to worry, though: I'm sure E.T. and his magic healing powers will take care of that soon.

Today is also the anniversary of the episode "Psycho Therapy," which aired on this day in 2000. No one got pierced, but a lot of egos got punctured in that one. That group role-playing session...damn.

Fandom News!

• Join in the anti-politics decompression thread.


• Should a spouse be required to testify against the other in court? Vote in the poll and explain your reasons.


• Justice Kennedy is retiring from SCOTUS. Talk about what happens next.


• Discuss what Jodie Landon's reaction would be to the reboot.


• Vote in the Deadliest Warrior poll between Bionic Woman and Seven of Nine.


• Name some sad Daria fanfics that you have read.

Thank Goodness for Quinn's High Pain Tolerance for Hair-Care Treatments!

Let's wish a happy Beautician's Day to Jozu and all the other long-suffering workers who have to endure Quinn's endless prattling as they do their best to make her look perfect--or at least cuter than Sandi. If you visit the beautician today, remember to tell them which show you want your style from. Or you could just offer to buy some scissors from them.

Today is also National Chocolate Pudding Day, and I join Brittany and Daria in hoping that your pudding doesn't have any skin on the top. Ewwww.

Finally, happy anniversary to Jake and Helen, who made their "Vows of Commitment" on this day in 1975. I hope Jake got Helen something better than a misshapen hobbit candle this time.

Fanfic Update!

• Cuckoos On Infinite Earths, by Smijey (part 19): "Daria and Jane hadn't expected to be watching the new Pope's address live, but then again, back in high school they had campaigned the yearbook staff to have her be titled Most Likely To Be The Literal Anti-Christ."


• Daria's Great Adventure, by dmsfanman (part 5): "Daria stood looking out over the rim of the crater recording video. The display in her helmet showed the view through the camera attached to her chest plate."


• Jersey Sure (Quinn, Season 4), by WildDogJJ (COMPLETE!): "We see Jim's Camaro driving along the street. Cut to inside and we see Jim driving while Quinn's in the passenger seat. They're on their way home from a night out. Quinn: Thanks for taking me to Cest La Ve, Jim." (Part 2) (Part 3)


• Proof through the Esteem, by WalterKovacs (COMPLETE!): "'Girls, I just want you to know that your mother and I both realize it's not easy moving to a new town,' started Jake Morgendorffer from behind the wheel of his car."


• Unnamed story (All-Purpose Creative Writing Thread: Seven), by Aloysius (part 1): "David looked at the growing white mass ahead of them and froze in shock. His son, Nigel, saw his father's expression fall momentarily, then it solidified again as he looked at his family and the other refugees gathered around him."


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Daria and Jodie are best friends), by Roentgen (part 2): "The car pulled up to the dual garage of the Morgendorffer residence. It was a Jaguar XJ30. Daria could see through the window that Andrew Landon and Jodie Landon were ready to pick her up."


• Unnamed story (World's Shortest Crossover, Part XIV: The Crossover Awakens!), by peapotmaster (COMPLETE!): "DARIA: Dad, what is the name of this camp again? JAKE: Your mom said it is called Camp Campbell."


• Unnamed story (World's Shortest Crossover, Part XIV: The Crossover Awakens!), by Wraith (COMPLETE!): "'More coffee! Please!' Charles shouted. 'Daria?' Jane asked, noticing Daria had yet to touch her drink. 'I've never had coffee.' Daria answered, 'Amy said a young lady shouldn't drink stimulants.'"

She Doesn't Have Time for Happy Thoughts

Jodie's apparently joined the Mythical Creature Club in time for International Fairy Day, but I don't think even a magic wand will be enough to get her parents off her back. Still, the wings will be nice for when she's running late for a school activity, so it's not a total loss.

Speaking of activities, today is also Swim a Lap Day, so join Sandi for a dip in the pool and see if you can shed some of that awful above-one-hundred-pounds weight. I'm sure Quinn will be there to hurl abuse--I mean, offer supportive encouragement.

Fandom News!

• MTV has announced a Daria revival! Talk about it here and here as well.


• Check out the #Daria and #Lawndale IRC chat channels.


• Roentgen has a Daria Database question.


• Read Leela's Daria marathon + commentary.


• Give your thoughts on Daria and politics.


• Roentgen posted a new Iron Chef: Daria and Jodie are best friends.

Girls Just Wanna Be Retro

The Fashion Club is taking some fashion tips from a few decades ago in honor of Cyndi Lauper's 65th birthday! Of course, if they actually hear "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" then I'd suggest that they run, because it means Metalmouth is sure to be nearby.

Today is also Carson Daly's birthday, and he's best known within Daria canon as the voice of David Sorenson from Is It Fall Yet? David was notable in being among the very few guys to resist Quinn's charms, as well as to actually earn Daria's respect.

Fanfic Update!

• Cuckoos On Infinite Earths, by Smijey (part 18): "At the Hoover Dam, Janice took her first opportunity to split off from the tour group, dragging Beavis behind her, and marched into the nearest bathroom. 'Heh-heh, hey!' he protested as she locked the door."


• Fading Memories (Quinn, Season 4), by WildDogJJ (COMPLETE!): "Quinn Morgendorffer is running scared in a large cave with lakes of molten lava all around her. The screams of unbearable pain can be heard all around her. Her path is suddenly blocked by a red skinned monster with a pointed tail, bat wings and huge horns." (Part 2) (Part 3)


• Fates Entwined, by Deep Metal (part 18): "'Wow, this place looks... Orwellian,' Tom's eyes widened. He had just pulled up in front of Highland High and to the surprise of all three Lawndale residents, Highland had been transformed from a seemingly impoverished small town school to a more modern institution."


• Jodie the rebel (Jodie Landon - Rebel), by Wassersauefer (part 1): "It wasn't like she had planned it all along. Unlike what she usually did, this time Jodie simply acted. Normaly she would take long hours of thinking every decision through, making lists with pros and cons and finally settling on a course of action, always going for the best outcome possible and the most effective way of reaching it."


• Second Chance for Love, by David Falkayn (part 17): "'This could get to be a habit, szereto.' Elizaveta smiled as she caressed the cheek of the girl lying in bed next to her. 'Then it's a habit I don't ever want to give up.' Angie smiled back as she gave her girlfriend a kiss."


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Daria and Jodie are best friends), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "'God, I hope that's not the booster society again,' Quinn said, disgusted. Wow, you show up the first day and they're all over you."


• Unnamed story (LLH Short Entries #2), by Roentgen (part 129): "It was going to be an early breakfast for Charles Ruttheimer. He was on an early flight to Massachusetts, to complete his final act as Deputy Leader for the Legion."

"It's a tooth."

Daria and Jane have made a questionable decision to celebrate the anniversary of Jaws's 1975 premiere by paying Joanna a visit. I would think it would be more fun to actually watch the movie than to watch some poor delusional woman act it out for them, but to each their own.

Fandom News!

• Discuss the Trump administration's decision to leave the UN Human Rights Council.


• After the series, did Daria actually finally figure out who she is? Share your thoughts.


• Jabe Shepherd has an announcement about fanfic.


• Vote in the Deadliest Warrior poll between Daniel Boone and Davy Crockett.

Maybe Just Stick to Pizza Instead?

Jake must have decided that it's safer to be sushi than to eat sushi, which is true of Tokyo Toby's, anyway. If you decide to eat sushi today, be sure to avoid any restaurant with questionable health ratings!

Speaking of Jake's disastrous experience with Tokyo Toby's, today is the anniversary of the episode "My Night at Daria's," in which poor Jake not only got food poisoning but had a very uncomfortable couple of days after Daria and Tom got caught sleeping together. Literally.

Fanfic Update!

• An Annoying Paradise, by Resop (part 9): "Daria reaches into her locker to get a book. 'Dar-Dar!' 'What is it, Manako?' 'Which song would you like to do?'"


• My Breast Fiend, by Smijey (part 3): "Mack led Darius into the weight room, a room just off the gymnasium that Darius had never been inside before. 'I'm sorry about laughing, Darius. It's just, well...you, you know?'"


• Nurse Quinn (Quinn, Season 4), by WildDogJJ (COMPLETE!): "Jim lays unconscious in a hospital bed while a visibly sleep deprived Quinn, wearing the same outfit she wore that night at Chez Pierre, watches over him. Helen enters the room." (Part 2) (Part 3)


• Unnamed story (LLH Short Entries #2), by Roentgen (part 128): "On a Saturday in Lawndale, the commencement exercises for the Lawndale High School Class of '18 were being held in the same location as every other graduation ceremony - the football field."


• Unnamed story (World's Shortest Crossover, Part XIV: The Crossover Awakens!), by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): "'You're in a desert, walking along in the sand, when all of a sudden you look down...' 'Which one?' Daria interrupted. Manson sucked breath in through her teeth. 'It doesn't make any difference what desert, Dora, it's completely hypothetical.'"

So Cute You Could Scream

Looks like Jeffy's going to win that free T-shirt for National Hollerin' Contest Day, unless he passes out from the effort. Still, I'd put money on Jake. That dude's been preparing for this moment all his life, so all he has to do is summon up his least favorite memory of Mad Dog and this contest is over.

Today is also the anniversary of the episode "Too Cute," which aired on this day in 1997. I don't remember any hollering in that episode, but I'm sure Upchuck felt like screaming when he found out what that blob Daria and Jane were looking at was.

Fandom News!

• Vote in the Deadliest Warrior poll between Zodiac Killer and John Gotti.


• Talk about the new movie Incredibles 2.


• Daria7142 is looking for stories about Jodie rebelling against her parents.


• Look for a familiar face among some title screens for made-up Nintendo games we'd like to see.

QB Chameleon

I'm not sure Kevin even knows who Boy George is, but he sure seems happy as his alter ego on the singer's 57th birthday. Don't get me wrong: I doubt Kevin has anything in particular against new wave, but his musical tastes run more along the lines of "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall."

Fanfic Update!

• bones cast in a little low, by ashleykay (part 4): "The rain stopped suddenly late on a Wednesday afternoon. As if the sky had choked and stuttered. And the weeks of wet flooded earth was a mirage."


• Burned Out, by Wrabbit7 (part 11): "Daria flipped on the TV, and was treated to a whole twelve seconds of Alanis Morissette's Ironic video before the signal was lost, to be replaced with static."


• Coffee, by Zetor (part 2f): "Taking Stacy's lighthearted response as a cue, Daria kept up the shift in mood and dryly joked, 'So, do we have time for another movie, or did revealing our deepest secrets take up too much time?'"


• Daria Ravenclaw: The Highland Years, by Meester_Lee (part 41): "The Morgendorffers pulled away from the curb, turned left, then right, then turned left again and onto the main highway leading out of town. There was a sort of finality to this visit, and Daria wondered if she'd ever see Coalton again."


• Unnamed story (LLH Short Entries #2), by Roentgen (parts 126 and 127): "Brittany Taylor dropped by the office of Magnolia 'Mags' Regmond, formerly of USAES, the Air Force, and the Pentagon (MAJ, Ret.) Mags was now the public relations officer for the National Legion Chapter One." (Part 127)


• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria fanfic should have: The Saga Goes On), by Szcz (COMPLETE!): "Helen Morgendorffer disliked to go to an office, so she has chosen the work at home. It could be described as living in an office through, because her home was the Lawndale Social Re-adaptation Centre."

Roses Are Red....

Kevin and his fantasy girlfriend (does he really have any other kind, Brittany included?) are happily celebrating Red Rose Day. Meanwhile, Tom should probably fish the roses he got for Daria out of the garbage just in case this is one of the days that she likes sentimental yet meaningless holidays.

Fandom News!

• Discuss what happened at the G7 summit.


• Quote your favorite movie monologue in the thread.


• Vote in the Deadliest Warrior polls between Jason and Angela, King Kong and Jurassic Park velociraptors, and King Hiss and Medusa.


• Share your thoughts on the new movies First Man and Hereditary.

Have a Spicy Holiday!

Jake is busy in the kitchen on Herbs and Spices Day, but on behalf of his tongue I would like to request that he take it easy on the pepper this time. His last surviving taste buds will thank me.

Fanfic Update!

• Aurora (formerly Reflections), by Lady Evil (part 17): "Jane and Vixx were in Jane's room getting dressed for Halloween while 'Zombie' by The Cranberries played on the radio. 'Ah, the perfect Halloween song.' said Jane, pinning her hair up. 'A song all about the gang wars in Ireland.'"


• Daria's Great Adventure, by dmsfanman (part 4): "'So how is life on Mars?' Jane asked."


• Identity Crisis (Quinn, Season 4), by WildDogJJ (COMPLETE!): "Jeffy is at a table with his lawyer, a sleazy looking guy with slicked back hair. The judge, a balding fat man with a mustache, is presiding while Dr. Millepedis is in the witness stand. It is a mental competency hearing to determine whether Jeffy, after two years confinement in a psychiatric hospital, can now be safely re-intigrated into society." (Part 2) (Part 3)


• Redemption, by atimnie (part 32): "'Alright, Doyle, we want names,' Hank Daniels shouted at Doyle, still in Amos Cunningham's uniform, one arm cuffed to the bolted down chair he was sitting in. 'You can have mine, I was getting tired of it anyway.'"


• Second Chance for Love, by David Falkayn (part 16): "'Thanks for the lift, Mack. 'Night, Jodie.' Elizaveta smiled as she got out of Mack's car. Then, leaning over, she gave Angie a kiss on the lips, 'See you tomorrow, szereto.'"


• Unnamed story (LLH Short Entries #2), by Roentgen (parts 124 and 125): "Daria and Tom sat in the expensive office of the chief executive officer of an important international firm. This wasn't the first such visit that either of them had made to a CEO. Although it was rare that specific Legionnaires had been asked to come for a visit." (Part 125)

It Goes Well With Nutty Butter and Banana Sandwiches

I've got the poison for Name Your Poison Day, and I think I'll name it...Bob. This particular poison is about to be renamed Kevin Thompson's lunch, at least in Daria's "Murder, She Snored" dream sequence, which is among the strangest sentences I've ever written.

In a different (I hope) theme, today is also Best Friends Day! I'm sure there were moments in their friendship (cough-thekiss-cough) that Jane wanted to poison Daria, but fortunately for us all she decided against it.

Fandom News!

• Share your thoughts about Miss America getting rid of the swimsuit competition.


• Give suggestions for baby names.


• Join in the "Neolithic Y-Chromosome Bottleneck" discussion.


• Discuss recent revelations about the Marshmallow Test.


• Offer ideas about the possible fate of Tommy Sherman.


• Talk about the upcoming movie, How to Train Your Dragon 3.

Run, Jane, Run!

Jane's way ahead (literally) of National Running Day, but I think just about every day is National Running Day for Jane Lane. Except when it's National Eat Pizza and Bitch about School Day.

I doubt Jane will be interested to know that today is the anniversary of the first drive-in movie theater, which opened eighty-five years ago today, after her bad experience with Nathan. Of course, I'm pretty sure back then the kids watched actual movies at the drive-in instead of swing dancing.

Fanfic Update!

• Daria in Cyber Commandos of 2007, by Kuriamo22 (COMPLETE!): "In the year 2007 among the nuked out wastes of the post atomic horror Neo America stands alone as a bastion of freedom while a new breed of warrior stalks the Earth. Part man part machine, they are the cyber commandos. The last and only line of defense against the cyber commies of the Neo-Soviet Empire."


• Fates Entwined, by Deep Metal (part 17): "'Hey Quinn, you got a minute?' Daria asked as she knocked on the door. A few days had already passed. So far, nobody had discovered Kenneth's body whereas Brittany's body seemed to have vanished without a trace."


• Jocks VS Nerds (Scenes No Daria fanfic should have: The Saga Goes On), by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): "'Dude, nah-AH! Locutus of Borg could totally beat Darth Maul!' argued Kevin, shaking his head at the foolishness of all around him."


• Moms And Drunks (Quinn, Season 4), by WildDogJJ (COMPLETE!): "We see Chuck and a no longer pregnant Stacy in the hospital room. Stacy is resting in the bed while Chuck waits by her side. A nurse comes in with a new born infant. She hands the baby to Stacy." (Part 2) (Part 3)


• One Fine Saturday Afternoon on Dega Street, by Captain Marbles (COMPLETE!): "The girl walked down Dega Street searching the signs for the place she wanted, '"Funky Doodle", nah. "Dega Street Comix"? Maybe later...oh! Here we go, "Hair For Freaks"!'"


• Options, by Brother Grimace (parts 1 - 6): "'You know, they built this here just to annoy us.' Greg Adams ignored the looks of a couple of Cadets Fourth Year as he and Esra Chakirji walked up the long pathway to the front entrance of the Jorgensen Research Building - the large building that was home for the USAES Mental Enhancement Program." (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5) (Part 6)


• What are they doing without Quinn around? (Scenes from Lawndale High), by Wassersauefer (COMPLETE!): "'Hey Quinn, can I carry your books?' 'Hey Quinn, can I carry your drink?' 'Hey Quinn, can I carry your, umm... pen?'"

Will the Three Js Offer to Carry Her Dentures?

Quinn's sporting a new look for Old Maid's Day, or maybe this is just Sandi's most cherished dream come to life. You know, I assumed it was Quinn but for all we know this is exactly what Mother Barksdale would look like if she ever appeared on the show.

Speaking of Barksdales, today is also the anniversary of the episode "Aunt Nauseam," which aired on this day in 2001. Of course Helen's mother didn't actually show up in person, but you can't deny she played a major role in the (chaotic) events.

Fandom News!

• Do you have any non-smoothie Bullet Blender recipes?


• Vote in the Deadliest Warrior poll between He-Man and Thundarr the Barbarian.


• See a death battle between Smokey Bear and McGruff the Crime Dog.

God Save the Ice Cream!

Brittany's looking especially regal in honor of the anniversary of Queen Elizabeth II's coronation on this day in 1953. I'm not sure what kind of queen Brittany would be, but I think her very first act would be to demand that any stupid, insensitive, selfish, conceited, cheating quarterback jerks be immediately beheaded.

Today is also National Rocky Road Day, and if you want to celebrate then I suggest you find Mack the Ice Cream Man and put in an order. He shouldn't be difficult to track down; he's wearing one of those little hats and ringing that bell that goes ding-a-ling-a-ling-a-ling. A-ling.

Fanfic Update!

• Cuckoos On Infinite Earths, by Charles RB (part 17): "Every since Kristen had reported her suspicions, she'd been getting a lot more work in the really complicated doomsday realities - why were there so many damned Crossed? - and Janice-101.303 seemed to still be around."


• Daria and Quinn's Incellent Adventure (Scenes No Daria fanfic should have: The Saga Goes On), by Smijey (COMPLETE!): "Jeffy kicked back on his couch, glad to be spending time with some of his fellow Lawndale alumni. 'So guys, how's the new sex redistribution and forced marriage laws working out for you?'"


• Daria Milieu Something Slimy, by Meester_Lee (parts 4 and 5): "Coach Gibson having squashed Travis Two's fun, the two groups of students went back waiting in line and talking with each other in lowered voices, the Lawndale students talking with other Lawndale students, the Highland students talking with their fellow Highlanders, and occasionally exchanging glares at the kids in the other line." (Part 5)


• Fear and Trembling, by Two-Eyed Charlie (COMPLETE!): "Tim O'Neill sat under his tree, watching a crowd approximately three times the size of the town finally disperse from the school's entrance. There was a throbbing bruise someplace on his body from where his method of navigating life got thoroughly sucker punched."


• First contact, by OzFerret (part 1): "His heart pounded in his chest, drowning out all other noises. He shook his head. 'How was he supposed to listen for intruders with all this noise?' he wondered."


• My Breast Fiend, by Smijey (parts 1 and 2): "Jane and her new buddy Darius were sitting together in the lunch room, enjoying what the school charitably referred to as food. 'So, Darius, why don't you see me as girlfriend material?'" (Part 2)


• Redemption, by atimnie (part 31): "Helen and Jake walked up the path to the door of the funeral home, when Helen stopped suddenly. 'Jake, I don't know if I can do this.'"


• Reflections, by Lady Evil (part 16): "Jane was used to Jesse being quiet, but now, it disturbed her as he drove her back to his house. 'Did he leave a note?' she asked. 'Yeah.' 'Did it say where he went?' 'No.'"


• Second Chance for Love, by David Falkayn (part 15): "'Ummm...baby...' Angie stammered slightly as she and Elizaveta walked together in the park holding hands. 'What, szereto?' Elizaveta asked, 'Is something wrong?' 'I don't know.' Angie sighed, 'Maybe.'"