BEEEEEEEP!

I don't know if Upchuck is going to celebrate National Inane Answering Message Day again, but he'll have a hard time topping these hits from the Daria Diaries:

"This is Charles. I can't come to the phone right now, because I am occupado. I could tell you what I am doing, but let's not ruin the mystery. At the tone, leave your name, number, and the time you called, and I will get back to you as soon as I can tear myself away from my life of intrigue, about which I cannot be specific, lest I put both my life and yours in danger."

"No, no...not now, girls! This is Charles Ruttheimer the Third, and you have reached my answering machine...please, ladies, patience!...speak clearly at the tone and...I'm on my way, my dears!...they so hate to be kept waiting...anyway, I'll get back to you as soon as possible...if this is an emergency, well, so is a woman on fire!"

"You have successfully contacted the underground grotto of The Ruttheimer Group, currently engineering our secret plan to achieve world domination by the year 2010. If you would like to know more about our plans to gain global control of mass media, subjugate the military forces of every nation on Earth, and install Charles Ruttheimer the Third as supreme ruler of all humankind, please leave your name and address at the beep, and we will send you an informative brochure and a free bumper sticker."

Either he's way behind schedule on that world domination thing or he took over so seamlessly I didn't even notice. You're doing a pretty crappy job at the moment, Upchuck.

Fandom News!

• Voting is now open for the Daria Fanworks awards!


• Supreme Court Justice Stephen Breyer is retiring.


• welltemperedclavier has a rant about Reddit.


• Amazon pulls an Ultra Cola.


• Two-Eyed Charlie provides a brief look into the mindset of the "Freedom Convoy."


• RIP, Peter Robbins.

A Snark Universally Acknowledged

Quinn and Daria don't look entirely convinced that this is the right way to wish Pride and Prejudice, published on this day in 1813, a happy anniversary. Honestly, though, with the novel's combination of romance and satire, this seems like the ideal book for the two of them to share an interest in.

Today is also the anniversary of Jackson Pollock's birth on this day in 1912. Jane might celebrate by doing another gigantic art project in his honor...or she may decide that she values sleep and sanity too much to put herself through that again.

Fanfic Update!

• Convergence on Lawndale, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 5): "The Doctor and Quinn were halfway back to the Morgendorffers’ house, when they heard a strange noise. 'What was that?' Quinn asked."


• Daria Ravenclaw: The Year of the Owl, by Meester_Lee (part 55): "If there was one word Daria had to use to describe her last morning with the Fink-Nottles, she’d use 'frantic.'"

G'day!

Brittany's found a new and exciting way to celebrate Australia Day, which makes me wonder if Lawndale High has a new exchange student. Considering how she reacted to the French student, maybe Brittany's got a thing for a foreign accent.

Today is also Spouse's Day, so if you have a spouse then be extra nice to them. Helen and Jake, if their marriage in general is any indication, will celebrate by having an argument and then racing each other to the bedroom. It's messed up, but it works for them.

Fandom News!

• Discuss the latest developments with Russia and Ukraine.


• Erin M has a general writing announcement.

Do They Make Peanut Butter Flavored Beer?

Girls, this is not the recommended way to celebrate National Peanut Butter Day! Trent's got the right idea--let some peanut brittle hijack your brain! Of course, between the sandwich and the nut stand, I think Daria is pretty much over all nuts, forever. And I don't blame her.

Today is also Beer Can Appreciation Day, something that Ms. Barch's husband and Kevin Thompson can both get behind. I feel like those two would actually get along really well, come to think of it. And wouldn't that just make Ms. Barch furious?

Fanfic Update!

• Lawndale Lions fell Oakwood Taproots; Claim 1st Place in Division (T.E. Charlie's "Bargain Bin"), by Two-Eyed Charlie (COMPLETE!): "OAKWOOD - What's this? A spot atop the Senior Division 1 football standings, all alone, shaking in the cold? Looking for warm hands to hold it?"


• Tall like me, by ST91 (part 4): "Daria was standing in front of the classroom where the history lesson was taking place. She knew what was going to happen, it was inevitable."

Cat, Do You Like Polka Dots?

Jake is trying to celebrate National Answer Your Cat's Questions Day, but I don't think Mr. Whiskers has any questions. Unless "would you get the hell out of my personal space before I claw your face off?" counts as a question.

Today is also National Polka Dot Day, which is good news for Mrs. Johansson...unless she's taken Quinn's advice about the vertical stripes.

Fandom News!

• R.I.P., Meat Loaf and Louie Anderson.

Cheesy Penguins?

Sandi's trying out a new look for Penguin Awareness Day, and I don't think Waif Magazine would approve. So, if you see a penguin today, wish it a happy holiday!

Today is also National Cheese Lover Day, so it would be a good day to stick your entire head in the fridge and talk about how much you love cheese in a squeaky squirrel voice. Or maybe that's just Jake.

Fanfic Update!

• Ape Rape (Scenes No Daria fanfic should have: The Closing Walls of Schloss Morgendorffer and Casa Lane), by Smijey (COMPLETE!): "'Honey?' Daria looked up from her work. She was revising what would hopefully be the final draft of her new Melody Powers novel."


• Daria in the Background, by cfardellbrenorenz29 (part 7): "'In Economics, we call this flow,' Mrs. Diane Bennett said. 'We have a scenario of supply and demand, where a new demand is created by a previous supply. Does everyone follow?'"


• Fizzled Out, by Erin M (COMPLETE!): "The week progressed, and it was on Wednesday when Leonard Lamm tightened the noose even further."


• High School Never Ends, by WildDogJJ (part 2): "The regional MTA train from New York arrived at the station. The regional MTA was a commuter line running from New York City to Philadelphia, and one of the stops on the line is Lawndale."


• In Morning, by hideousmirror (COMPLETE!): "Waning orange sunlight filled the house as she silently padded her way to her love’s art studio, carefully as not to disturb the creaky floor boards."


• Made in America, by ladyevil (part 6): "'All right, here's the plan.' Trent said as he drove up to Lawndale High with Jane and Daria. 'I'll sit right here with my foot on the accelerator, ready to burn rubber.'"


• Tall like me, by ST91 (part 3): "Some things never change. Thought Daria as her gaze wandered from one side to the other of Mrs. Manson's study."

What's a Good Synonym for Magazine?

Daria's just looking back at the feature article about her in Animation Magazine that appeared on this day in 2002. In it, Glenn Eichler discussed some of his thoughts on Is It College Yet? and the end of the series as a whole.

Today is also Thesaurus Day! Have fun/amuse yourself/revel as you celebrate/jubilate/honor this holiday/festivity/fete!

Fandom News!

• The deadline to nominate Daria fanworks is tomorrow!


• Talk about TV shows that upend certain tropes.

Here There Be Cheerleaders

A small suggestion for Kevin: start observing Appreciate a Dragon Day now...or start running. I mean, Brittany has a short temper even when she's in human form; does anyone really want to test her when she can breathe literal fire?

Today is also International Hot and Spicy Food Day, and I hope Jake will be abstaining this year. Otherwise he, too, will be breathing fire.

Fanfic Update!

• Barracudas (Malevolent Persecution), by SPEEDCOREIDOLATER (COMPLETE!): "Jane slunk to her room. She was planning on going to bed, hiding under her covers and forgetting the world exists, but her legs only took her as far as the other side of her door."


• High School Never Ends, by WildDogJJ (part 1): "It's graduation day at Lawndale High. The class of 2000 is assembled on the football field, where a stage has been erected, while their families are in the bleachers."


• Made in America, by ladyevil (parts 4 and 5): "'Dad?' Daria asked as they rode in the car. 'You said you were taking me out for frosty chocolate milkshakes.'" (Part 5)


• Tall like me, by ST91 (part 2): "Once inside the building, Daria joined her sister. The two Morgendorffer sister were in a small group with other transfer students."

Let's Go Fly a--GAHHHH!!!

I really don't think Mr. DeMartino should be celebrating International Kite Day in the middle of a lightning storm. Especially with his heart condition. And eye issues. And stress levels. And...everything else, really. Just a bad idea all around.

In fact, I hope that he'll start observing World Logic Day instead, and come in out of danger. However, considering some of his more questionable life choices, logic probably isn't his strong suit.

Fandom News!

• Time's running out to nominate Daria fanworks!


• In a surprise to no Daria fans, sarcasm is a sign of intelligence.


• RIP, Ronnie Spector.

Kiss Upchuck? Not For All the Tea in China!

I'm not sure what Daria's got in her mug, but I hope it's tea because today is National Hot Tea Day! I could see Daria as a tea drinker, actually. Not any of the fancy flavored ones, but regular hot tea.

Today is also Kiss a Ginger Day, and I have no doubt that Joey, Jeffy, Jamie, and every other boy at Lawndale High will be lining up to celebrate with Quinn. Upchuck, however, will probably be disappointed by the turnout.

Fanfic Update!

• An Annoying Truth, by wilddogjj (COMPLETE!): "A black Lincoln Continental pulled into the driveway. After the car came to a stop, Jake Morgendorffer emerged."


• Convergence on Lawndale, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 4): "Quinn arrived at the portal, where she found the Doctor waiting on the other side. 'So?' he asked."


• Fizzled Out, by Erin M (parts 9 and 10): "Abigail Treast lived in a subdivision on the south end of Manassas. Tract homes and tidy (albeit yellow due to the winter) lawns abounded." (Part 10)


• I've Been Eating (For You), by Emberglade (part 1): "'I’m just saying, if we want to be ready for prom we should seriously start dropping some carbs. I say, we collectively pick some foods and completely cut them out.'"


• Made in America, by ladyevil (part 3): "Daria was in her room trying to find something good on TV. She came across an ad Sick Sad World was doing for their new line of books called 'Into the Unknown and the Mysterious.'"


• medium special, by marcaskane (commanderdameron) (COMPLETE!): "It’s Boston, Daria concludes at first. Boston allows her to sink into herself a little bit, become just that hint less obtrusive."


• Rude Awakening: A Strange Christmastime Special, by DIsaac (part 5): "(Kevin drove down to Columbus Commons under the guise of just going down and seeing the lights. Kevin has something much bigger planned. The good thing about the story is that she doesn’t suspect something major is about to happen!)"


• Tall like me, by ST91 (part 1): "'Girls, I just want you to know your mother and I realize it's not easy moving to a whole new town ... especially for you, Daria, right?' said Jake Morgendorffer to his eldest daughter while driving his blue Lexus."


• Zero Worship, by wilddogjj (COMPLETE!): "Quinn and Jim have sat Tommy down in the living room for a very stern lecture. Quinn said 'Cussing out your teacher!!! What the hell!?!'" (Part 3)

A Day for Peculiar Plants

Let's all wish a happy Houseplant Appreciation Day to the Morgendorffer family houseplant! Of course, it's more than likely that the plant is plastic, since I have a hard time believing that they would be able to keep a plant alive.

Today is also Peculiar People Day, and when it comes to the Daria cast...well...take your pick!

Fandom News!

• Please remember to nominate Daria Fanworks!


• RIP, Peter Bogdanovich, Sidney Poitier, Dwayne Hickman, and Bob Saget.

"See something you like or just browsing?"

Jane's happy to observe Male Watcher's Day, and from her expression she likes what she sees. Just be careful, Jane--you don't have the best track record when it comes to choosing guys.

Today is also Typing Day, which Daria is more likely to celebrate. It seems to be her medium of choice for writing, unless she's got a cool video game in progress.

Fanfic Update!

• Child Disservices, by wilddogjj (COMPLETE!): "The outside of the house looks no different from when we last saw it twelve years ago. The only thing that's different is the cars in the driveway. Quinn now drives a white 2014 Cadillac Escalade while Jim now drives a blue 2016 Camaro ZL1." (Part 2) (Part 3)


• Deleted Scene from "Prize Fighters" (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have), by Two-Eyed Charlie (COMPLETE!): "Daria and Tom are in Daria's room. Daria has a piece of paper and a pencil, and it's clear to the audience that she's been making some sort of list."


• Jane's Day in Bed, by hideousmirror (COMPLETE!): "Jane groaned as she woke up in her small Boston apartment, annoyed that the day was able to snake it’s way through the cracks of the blackout curtains."


• Made in America, by ladyevil (part 2): "Mr. O’Neill tapped on the door of the nurse’s office where Daria was laying on a couch. 'Hey.' he said. 'Heard what happened in DeFoe’s art class.'"


• Zero Worship, by wilddogjj (part 1): "Mrs. Henderson is teaching her third-grade class. At age forty, Lisa Henderson is a dead ringer for Katie Holmes."

Cuddle Up With a Poet!

Jake and Helen look especially cute for Cuddle Up Day, which is a nice reminder that sometimes they can actually be sweet together instead of arguing with each other. Of course, the fact that this image comes from a fantasy sequence kind of undercuts that claim, doesn't it?

Today is also National Take a Poet to Lunch Day, and what poem could be more appropriate to the occasion than "The Greasy Fry"?

Fandom News!

• The time has come to nominate your favorite fanworks!


• What are your thoughts on the Morgendorffer marriage?


• Share songs you associate with Daria.


• A new Beavis and Butt-head film has been announced.

Have a Noodly Day!

May your pasta not oxidize on this lovely National Spaghetti Day, and may your spouse not get fed up with you and dump said pasta on your head. Trent will be happy to celebrate this one, as long as he can find someone who's got some spaghetti he can freeload. It's his favorite, after all.

Today is also Pop Music Chart Day, so it's Boys R Guys' time to shine! Or is it Guys 2 Guys? Guys 2 Lame?

Fanfic Update!

• Fifteenth Doctor Adventures, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 2): "After the TARDIS had landed, Xander got off the floor. ‘He’s taking this rather well. Much like others I have traveled with in my previous incarnations,’ the Doctor thought."


• Made in America, by ladyevil (part 1): "At Lawndale High, in Ms. Defoe's class, Ms. Defoe was wandering amongst the students, checking on their progress."

No One's Going to Salute, Upchuck!

Upchuck is clearly regretting his impulsive decision to celebrate Run It up the Flagpole and See if Anyone Salutes Day. Especially because you aren't supposed to run yourself up the flagpole. The good news is that he's now safe from Ms. Barch's plotting.

Today is also World Introvert Day, and I hope you'll all join me in celebrating...alone...without any other people...in peace and quiet.

Fandom News!

• Vote in the Celebrity Deathmatch poll between Ria Parkinson vs. Peg Bundy.


• What does canon mean to you?


• Discuss WildDogJJ's new series idea.


• R.I.P., Betty White.


• The 2021 Daria Fanfiction list has been updated.


• Join in the 2021 Daria Fandom Retrospective.