I don't know if Upchuck is going to celebrate National Inane Answering Message Day again, but he'll have a hard time topping these hits from the Daria Diaries:
"This is Charles. I can't come to the phone right now, because I am occupado. I could tell you what I am doing, but let's not ruin the mystery. At the tone, leave your name, number, and the time you called, and I will get back to you as soon as I can tear myself away from my life of intrigue, about which I cannot be specific, lest I put both my life and yours in danger."
"No, no...not now, girls! This is Charles Ruttheimer the Third, and you have reached my answering machine...please, ladies, patience!...speak clearly at the tone and...I'm on my way, my dears!...they so hate to be kept waiting...anyway, I'll get back to you as soon as possible...if this is an emergency, well, so is a woman on fire!"
"You have successfully contacted the underground grotto of The Ruttheimer Group, currently engineering our secret plan to achieve world domination by the year 2010. If you would like to know more about our plans to gain global control of mass media, subjugate the military forces of every nation on Earth, and install Charles Ruttheimer the Third as supreme ruler of all humankind, please leave your name and address at the beep, and we will send you an informative brochure and a free bumper sticker."
Either he's way behind schedule on that world domination thing or he took over so seamlessly I didn't even notice. You're doing a pretty crappy job at the moment, Upchuck.
- Voting is now open for the Daria Fanworks awards!
- Supreme Court Justice Stephen Breyer is retiring.
- welltemperedclavier has a rant about Reddit.
- Amazon pulls an Ultra Cola.
- Two-Eyed Charlie provides a brief look into the mindset of the "Freedom Convoy."
- RIP, Peter Robbins.