Suburban Gothic

Daria and Tom look pleasantly agricultural in honor of National Farm Workers Day, but I seriously doubt either one of them has so much as planted a flower in their lives. Trent, however, might still reach that hypothetical goal of becoming a farmer paid not to grow crops.

If he does actually raise any crops, I would recommend potatoes because it's National Tater Day and those cheese fries have to come from somewhere. Just don't let Quinn see them, or else she might complain about Angela's Ashtray again.

Finally, the episodes "Malled" and "The F Word" aired on this day in 1997 and 2000, although neither of them featured anyone growing potatoes.

Fandom News!

• R.I.P., Richard Chamberlain.

Poor Unfashionable Soul

Quinn has found a way to make her hair bouncier than ever by celebrating Mermaid Day, but she will be horrified when she realizes that she's wearing last season's seashells. I just hope she gets out of the water before she gets, in Stacy's words, "all pruny."

Perhaps Trent and Jane can take the opportunity on National Mom and Pop Business Owners Day to revisit Earl and Barbara and try some more of their cellophane cheese sandwiches and overpriced cookies. On second thought, it might be better to just skip the trip down memory lane.

On this day in 1998, the episode "The New Kid" aired. In it, we got to meet a rarely-seen, slightly eccentric, and somewhat childlike new character. That's right, it was Robert's time to shine!

Fanfic Update!

• Closer Than Before, by avav3 (COMPLETE!): "Daria awoke the next morning to silence. She sat up straight in bed, rubbing her face with her hands, her hair tousled."


• Spider Quinn 15 The New Challenges, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 4): "Quinn arrived at school not long after. She began hearing rumors of Jamie’s claim as she headed to Homeroom."


• Waif's Newest Addition, by janendaria4life (part 1): "It was just like any regular day for Quinn Morgendorffer as she giddily walked around Cashman's."

Just an Average Joe

Joey is surprised to find that there's an entire day just for him, National Joe Day, although I don't think he ever went by "Joe" at any point during the series. Still, it might give him just the edge he needs against Jeffy and Jamie and...who am I kidding? Quinn will never look twice at any of them.

Travis the Singing Cowboy, on the other hand, might regale her with a special tune for Quirky Country Music Song Titles Day and buy her a cute cowgirl outfit with her own money. As Daria might say, "Well, bust my legs and call me Shorty."

Hold Me Closer, Tiny Lawyer

Helen is definitely breaking the law firm's dress code, but that's okay because it's Elton John's birthday and he has always been all about shattering norms and expectations. I just hope Quinn doesn't catch her in those clunky shoes, because if she thought drinking coffee was a fashion don't then this will drive her completely through the roof.

For those who prefer a more low-key holiday, there's always Tolkien Reading Day! You can curl up with The Silmarillion or take Jake's example and celebrating by making a wax...hobbit? Who knows, really.

If you get hungry during all of that reading, you can finish by celebrating International Waffle Day. Just make sure you check the sell-by date if you don't want to develop a very mild stomachache.

Fanfic Update!

• Ambivalence, by janendaria4life (COMPLETE!): "Quinn Morgendorffer sat on her bed, phone in hand as she talked with Stacy Rowe."


• Daria Enrolls At Nevermore: An Experiment, by Meester_Lee (part 16): "The speeches over and the meet-and-greet with the Nevermore faculty and staff began to wind down. Interesting people, thought Helen."


• Death of a Muscle Car, by wilddogjj (COMPLETE!): "Jim's Camaro was heading back to Lawndale. Outside, the weather was becoming increasingly overcast. Inside, Jim was giving Timmy the silent treatment as he drove."


• Hell High, by avav3 (part 1): "Well, Lawndale certainly wasn’t a downgrade. It was a free fall. Fielding burned itself to the ground, and now I was stuck sifting through the ashes of public school."


• Mysteries of Aurora, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 12): "Freya entered the dining hall for lunch. She found two she hadn't talked to yet that day near one of the windows that looked out onto the courtyard next to the Hall."


• Scornful Ties, by janendaria4life (COMPLETE!): "Jodie Landon's parents, Andrew and Michele, made it much clear that they had a extremely important event occurring that Friday night and since they, supposedly, 'trusted her judgement,' she'd be babysitting her younger siblings, Rachel and Evan."

When It Rains Cats and Dogs, It Pores!

Puddie-Pie, Fifi, Snuggles, and Bark are too sleepy to wish you a happy National Puppy Day, so I'll do it on their behalf. Quietly, of course, because who would want to wake up those adorable little guys?

If you're more of a cat person than a dog person, then I have good news: it's also Cuddly Kitten Day! If you don't have a kitten of your own to cuddle, you could always put out a squirrel trap and see if Mr. Whiskers is in a cuddling mood. I doubt it, though.

Both puppies and kittens are awfully cute, but Quinn's pores are even cuter, as she pointed out in the episode "Monster," which aired on this day in 1998. Of course, you can't see them, so you'll have to take her word for it.

Fandom News!

• R.I.P., George Foreman.

Roses are Red, Your Soul is Dead....

Good news! Andrea is going to regale us with a few rhymes about rotting flesh in honor of World Poetry Day. This is good news because the alternative was to listen to Quinn's latest masterpiece about greasy fries.

If you're in the mood to laugh instead, you could always take Jane's advice and watch poetry being read by puppets to celebrate World Puppetry Day. Just imagine, gorgeous sonnets being recited by puppets flailing their skinny little puppet arms!

Daria might be interested to know that today is National Teenager Day, so there's an entire holiday just for her and her fellow teens. However, the holiday doesn't include getting the day off school, so I doubt she'll be very impressed by it.

Fanfic Update!

• Daria Morgendorffer vs Velma Dinkley, by kllngjk2 (COMPLETE!): "Lawndale, Maryland. Daria Morgendorffer just returned home from a Alice Cooper concert; she went there with Jane Lane, her close friend."


• Death of a Muscle Car, by wilddogjj (parts 1 and 2): "Quinn, Jim, their son Timmy and his girlfriend Q were gathered in the driveway. Jim was less than thrilled." (Part 2)


• Quinn-tessential, by riotsquirrrl (COMPLETE!): "Oh God, how embarrassing. She realized that she had fallen for her sister's boyfriend. Quinn trudged up the stairs to go to her room."


• Spider Quinn 15 The New Challenges, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 3): "Jamie looked around as Mr. Elders gave a tour of the Solarium. 'It looks more like a lair than a solarium.'"

Gather Around for Story Time!

Daria is celebrating International Read To Me Day with her classmates, but it looks like the girls are getting more than they bargained for. They should just be grateful that Daria isn't telling them one of her original stories, like the Hansel and Gretel remix or one of Melody Powers's bloodbaths.

Unfortunately, Daria's originals don't always meet expectations, as she found out in "The Story of D," which aired on this day in 2001. I guess she could try workshopping it with her classmates and see what they think about flesh-eating viruses.

Although it's International Client's Day, I suppose for Jake that's every day. Just remember, Jake, cigars for pets is a brilliant idea if your client thinks so.

Fandom News!

• wingzero needs to find out who owns the domain for the Dariawiki.

Sláinte!

It looks like Saint Patrick’s Day is happy about being able to celebrate his day, even if he's not too satisfied with his lot in life. I think that there are worse things out there than congenital green beer-scented breath, though.

Still, as long as he keeps that smile on his face he'll be able to celebrate Act Happy Day, too. I'm sure Daria will feel no obligation to join in, however, because she doesn't even act happy when she is happy!

The episodes "College Bored," "Daria Dance Party," and "Murder, She Snored" all aired on this day in 1997, 1999, and 2000, respectively. Each of them included a party of sorts: the Middleton kegger, the school dance, and Kevin's imaginary funeral. I'll let you decide which was the happiest occasion.

Fanfic Update!

• Closer Than Before, by avav3 (COMPLETE!): "The lights were dimmed low, strobe lights lay on the floor, the sharp flashes reflecting throughout the apartment. A rich smell of alcohol, cheap perfume, weed, and sweat lingered in the air."


• The Groomless Bride (Daria and The Gang Thread), by roentgen (COMPLETE!): "Helen called the Morgendorffers into the kitchen. 'Everyone! I've just received a very important letter!'"


• I Remember Aurora, by avav3 (COMPLETE!): "The winter air bit at her cheeks, but she welcomed the cold. It helped numb the dreary feelings that had been washing over her."


• Jim the Terminator, by wilddogjj (COMPLETE!): "At 5:30 AM the alarm clock on Jim's side of the bed goes off. Jim groaned, hit the off switch and got out of bed with a resigned sigh." (Part 3)


• The Kiss That Entirely Shattered Daria Morgendorffer's Worldview, by janendaria4life (part 3): "Daria, after an exhausting day of dealing with the antics of the ever desperate and unpleasant Beavis, walked casually from Highland High to her house."


• Meanwhile, at the Legion of Lawndale Heroes...., by roentgen (COMPLETE!): "Jamie: This meeting of the Legion of Lawndale Heroes will come to order. Now, I would like to talk about the use of lethal force clause in the Legion Constitution."


• Oh, No, I Don't Need You But I Miss You, by janendaria4life (COMPLETE!): "It was Brittany Taylor's first month at Great Prairie State University, and here she was, sitting on her queen-sized bed that was neatly laid out in her dorm."


• Pollo Asado, by MoleFromTheMinistry (COMPLETE!): "It was a rainy night – the streets were extra slick, with inches of rain pouring down across Boston. Fortunately for every other Bostonian, Jane Lane drove Daria across the city after an... interesting day."

She Probably Should Have Beat Ms. Li Senseless with the Trophy Instead

Daria's all set to wow everyone with one of her awesome pep talks in honor of World Speech Day, but we all know that "pep" isn't actually her strong suit. Still, as long as she recommends eating pizza I think everyone can get behind her words of wisdom.

Let's just hope Kevin and Brittany don't get it into their heads to make a public statement, because that would really put the "dumb" in Dumbstruck Day. At the very least, the audience would be left completely bemused.

Artie, meanwhile, will probably be speaking loud and long about aliens, but that's okay because it's World Contact Day and it's appropriate to talk about aliens...in moderation. Today is not to be confused with a holiday about contact lenses, which Daria would far rather forget about.

Hello, Jello!

Brittany is awfully excited for International School Meals Day, but I hope that she's going to have more than just Jello. Daria and Jane will most likely round out their meal with some pizza and/or cheese fries...just what growing teenagers need.

They should consider adding some popcorn for Popcorn Lover’s Day, but I wouldn't recommend sharing the Fashion Club's no-salt, no-oil, fat-free popcorn. If you ask nicely or talk too much during a movie, Tom might offer you ten dollars to buy some popcorn and eat it elsewhere!

Quinn would do well to avoid celebrating National Earmuff Day, because the last pair she bought almost cost her her popularity and (potentially) her life. If you decide to enjoy a set of earmuffs, just try not to overlook any survival essentials.

Fanfic Update!

• Jim the Terminator, by wilddogjj (part 1): "Quinn, Jim and the triplets were sitting around the kitchen table having breakfast. As the family ate, they were discussing the day to come."


• Spider Quinn 15 The New Challenges, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 2): "After midnight, Dafoanairi climbed out the hall window and down the ivy covered trellis. She then left the Morgendorffers place into the laneway behind and headed towards High Hills Park that way."


• You're Standing On Our Necks, by Gojirob (COMPLETE!): "Outside the high school, Jodie Landon approached a girl who wasn't quite a friend, but who on the balance had her respect, at least moreso than most others she knew."

He's the QB of Horticulture

Kevin is doing his best to plant apple trees for Johnny Appleseed Day, or at least I hope that those are apple seeds. They could be pieces of dryer lint that someone told him were seeds and he'd believe it. But then again, if the Tommy Sherman Memorial Crutch can sprout then anything is possible.

Anything is definitely possible in dreams, so it's also appropriate that today is National Dream Day. I suppose Trent is probably celebrating right now. Daria might not want to, because some of the dreams we saw in the show were less than pleasant.

If she has that hospital dream about dying again, she should remind herself that it's just practice for her potential career as a mortician. Since it's National Funeral Director and Mortician Recognition Day, I wish her every bit of luck if she did decide to follow that path!

Fandom News!

• Outpost Daria Reborn was having issues, but seems to be fixed now.

Don't Panic!

Daria and Jane are absolutely killing it for Panic Day, but I hope they each take a deep breath and calm down before they freak out completely. I figure you don't have to panic all day; just for a little while.

Of course, it could be worth panicking that today is the beginning of Daylight Saving Time and a lot of us lost an hour of sleep. That one doesn't so much make me panic as makes me annoyed. And sleepy.

On this day in 1998, the episode "I Don't" aired. Cousin Erin got married to one of the most punchable people ever, but on the bright side we got to meet Aunt Amy.

Fanfic Update!

• Mysteries of Aurora, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 11): "Freya sketched the view from the balcony near her room shortly after breakfast. 'What secrets are hiding?' she asked herself."


• Spider Quinn 15 The New Challenge, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 1): "Helen Morgendorffer entered her kitchen to see an unusual sight. 'Quinn? Why is Jamie getting his hair cut in our kitchen?'"


• Star Trek: Voyager: A Complication of Kes's, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 2): "Kes awoke. She saw herself, but this time she had longer hair. 'What happened?' she asked."

Turning Over a New Leaf

I don't think that the Morgendorffer houseplant is really enjoying Plant Power Day, partly because it just lost one of its leaves and partly because I can't imagine that any living plants last very long in a family as neglectful as this one. Perhaps the Tommy Sherman Memorial Crutch will have better luck.

I hope that Marianne is faring better, because it's Employee Appreciation Day and Helen's assistant doesn't get nearly enough appreciation. I suspect that, if she were to quit, Helen would be completely lost and unable to replace her.

Maybe she could meet up with Cashman's worker Theresa to share horror stories for National Salesperson Day. I think Theresa would win, though, because Marianne only has one overly demanding person to please while Theresa has to deal with the entire Fashion Club.

Shouldn't Have Had So Much Space Cola!

I see that even aliens are celebrating National Potty Dance Day, and with that many legs I'm sure it will be a very interesting performance. If you are struggling to find a bathroom in time, just remember that you can always pee behind those trees. Take care to watch out for pervert squirrels, though.

Daria should take the opportunity on Multiple Personality Day to check in with Eunice and see how things are going. She might still be sad, or she's just wondering what happened to Daria's contact lenses.

Finally, it was on this day in 2001 that the episode "Fat Like Me" first aired. Never mind the somewhat unrealistic "thinly challenged" main plot; I would love to see more of Stacy imitating Tiffany and completely losing her temper. Solid gold comedy right there.

Fanfic Update!

• But You Always Knew the Truth, by riotsquirrrl (part 3): "Daria Morgendorffer was daydreaming. She was looking out the window across the quad, vaguely aware of her classmates crossing the grassy expanse to the dining hall."


• Convergence on Lawndale, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 12): "'Stacy?' the Doctor asked. 'Yes,' Quinn answered. 'She reacted to the flicker in an unusual way.'"


• I (Don't) Want to Be a Part of It, by ladyevil (part 3): "'Now, Daria,' Jake said as Daria packed a duffle bag. 'You know New York isn’t like Lawndale, right?'"


• It's the Spirit that Kills You, by SharksAndRec (part 2): "To say Daria had a favorite class would mean some degree of caring about school at all, something the teen just didn't have the energy for...but if she had to pick the one she tolerated the most, it would have to be DiMartino's English class."


• The Kiss That Entirely Shattered Daria Morgendorffer's Worldview, by janendaria4life (part 2): "Daria's eyes shot open after her alarm rang noisily, leading to her smacking the clock."


• Like a Chicken Running Around With It's Head Cut Off, by janendaria4life (COMPLETE!): "It was just like any other day for Tom Sloane, giving his girlfriend Daria a visit, thinking he could and should invite himself in for a evening of 'Sick, Sad World,' assuming she would be comfortable with it. He knocked on the door and waited."


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have), by ladyevil (COMPLETE!): "Daria woke up feeling utterly dejected. With a groan, she put on her robe, went to her boudoir, and got a bottle of pills."


• Who Needs a Boyfriend When You Got Her?, by janendaria4life (COMPLETE!): "Tom thought he understood Jane Lane."


• Writing Lines (Daria Ravenclaw: Loose Snippets), by Meester_Lee (COMPLETE!): "'And that is all for today,' said Professor Flitwick said as the half-hour rolled around. 'Please make sure that you have read through chapter 16 of your textbooks and don’t forget to practice what we’ve learned today!'"

This Image Makes My Ears Hurt

Grandma Lane is making absolutely sure that Jane can't avoid celebrating World Hearing Day, although if she keeps yelling Jane's ability to hear will be in serious danger. This might be a good day for Daria to visit Mrs. Blaine, because not being able to hear doesn't mean you don't enjoy visitors.

In fact, I think anyone who works or volunteers at the Better Days Retirement Home should get some thanks because it's Caregiver Appreciation Day! People willing to help others deserve every bit of gratitude, and they don't get enough as far as I'm concerned.

Last but not least, today we celebrate the anniversaries of the episodes "Esteemsters" in 1997, "The Old and the Beautiful" in 1999, and "Antisocial Climbers" in 2000. The first introduced the entire series, the second introduced us to Mrs. Blaine, and the third, well...introduced us to Mr. O'Neill's undergarments.

Fandom News!

• darianefan05 shares her thoughts on the recent meeting in the White House regarding Ukraine.

Please, PLEASE Go Back to Frowning!

Daria is serving up both cookies and terror on Share a Smile Day, and I think we're all relieved to know that she only smiles if she has a reason. Even if that reason is to scare any onlookers half to death.

I'll bet Amy is smiling, especially if she's making Helen insanely jealous with postcards on Plan a Solo Vacation Day. Of course, I'm sure Amy would be perfectly fine dropping the "solo" part if Ralph Fiennes offers to join her.

If a vacation is out of the question for you, then you could just take a short and sweet break for Peanut Butter Lovers' Day! Trent might let peanut brittle hijack his brain, or Daria might sit on another ancient sandwich.

Fanfic Update!

• It's the Spirit that Kills You, by SharksAndRec (part 1): "Ghostly attacks on the regular were still not enough to stomp out the march of students through the hallowed and haunted halls of Casper High, and one pair of faux-leather boots were stomping out a particularly determined rhythm."


• The Kiss That Entirely Shattered Daria Morgendorffer's Worldview, by janendaria4life (COMPLETE!): "She kissed him. She, Daria Morgendorffer, had her lips planted onto that damn moron."