Being a Swiftie Before It Was Cool

Daria doesn't seem to be enjoying the anniversary of Jonathan Swift's birth on this day in 1667, even though reenacting a scene from Gulliver's Travels is a pretty clever idea. Maybe if she had a (very large) book then she wouldn't be so unhappy. The good news is that if Quinn gets on her nerves, relief is just a finger flick away!

I have to say that the tiny Lawndale people are doing a terrible job of celebrating National Personal Space Day. I think that under normal circumstances this would be one of Daria's favorite holidays, but under normal circumstances no one ties her up so she can't move. Or at least I assume that isn't something that happens to her often.

If 17th-century satirists aren't your thing, then you could skip ahead almost 200 years and celebrate the anniversary of Mark Twain's birth on this day in 1835. Similar sharp tongue and quick wit, but with somewhat different hairstyles. I know Daria's a fan of his thanks to her nightshirt, but I think Trent leans more towards Hanna-Barbera and Huckleberry Hound.

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Mr. Potato'Neill

Apparently Mr. O'Neill is taking Make Your Own Head Day to a bit of an extreme, but it's not like this new head could be much worse than his old one. Just don't let Quinn see him, as she isn't a big fan of potatoes. They remind her of that that movie, "Angela's Ashtray."

I wouldn't worry, though, because Quinn will most likely be busy shopping on Black Friday, if the crowds don't frighten her off. On the other hand, she could celebrate Buy Nothing Day instead, although we all know that isn't going to happen.

I hope everyone has a pleasant Red Planet Day, a holiday in honor of Mars. Artie might want to avoid observing his one, however, even if it might mean a visit from alien space babes. Hey, if atomic Communists come from Mars, does that mean Mars really is the red planet?

Fanfic Update!

• Between the Holidays, by riotsquirrrl (COMPLETE!): "St. Patrick's Day looked down at his lunch in disgust. 'Peas again? What I wouldn't give for a decent boiled dinner in this place. With the carrots perfectly tender and the pork aged just right. But no, we have to eat this shitty English colonizer food.'"


• Spider Quinn 19 Making the News Amidst the Storms, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 8): "Sandi hung up from the third member of the AV Club she had called. 'No one,' she murmured. Then the phone rang again."


• Tomorrow belongs to who?, by DrT (COMPLETE!): "Jana Farhbahn studied her friend over her easel as she sat, pretending to read. Finally sighing, Jana said, 'You haven’t turned the page in ages. Is something wrong with it, or with you?'"

Is the Cake a Lie?

Quinn is showing off her (very unlikely) baking chops in time for International Cake Day, and while I absolutely love cake I would hesitate to try anything made by Quinn. Not only do I doubt her ability to perform any task more strenuous than applying makeup, but any daughter of Jake "my tongue is black" Morgendorffer isn't likely to be great in the kitchen.

Instead, I think Quinn would do well to go hang out at Cashman's for Shopping Reminder Day. Of course, Quinn (and the Fashion Club as a whole) would never need a reminder to go shopping.

Helen will, of course, be spending the day at work because it's both National Law Day and a day that ends in "Y." Eric might be there if he isn't in rehab, but just because it's National Eric Day doesn't mean Helen is obligated to put up with his nonsense.

Soon He'll Progress to Cave Drawings and Civilization Will Be On Its Way!

I'm a bit concerned to see that Kevin has chosen to celebrate Evolution Day by going in the wrong direction, although for him it wasn't actually a long journey. If he goes back a bit further, he'll be pleased to discover that he's become a monkey--after all, he likes monkeys!

Jake might think twice about going to another branding conference, even if it is National Brand Day. The last time he went, Daria ended up in a downward spiral and things got weird. Besides, it really isn't fair to those poor cows.

For anyone out there with an usual skill, be sure to enjoy Celebrate Your Unique Talent Day! Whether it's twirling hair around your finger and looking vacant or having a skull good for crushing beer cans against, be proud of yourself!

Fanfic Update!

• The New Girl, by wilddogjj (part 2): "Amy was in the backyard talking with her best friend back in LA. 'Man, I hate it here! Wish I was back wit' the crew.'"


• Spider Quinn 19 Making the News Amidst the Storms, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 7): "It was still a half hour before the Friday night show would start when Anders saw Fields arrive. She went up to her. 'One of the assistants will show you the way to the dressing room,' she said."

One Car, Two One-Shot Characters, and Three Holidays

It appears that Daria has already celebrated Go For a Ride Day, but we still have no idea who the mystery driver was. Perhaps Trent and Jane will do the same, because as Jane says, "You and I never go for rides anymore. We need to go for more rides." As long as it doesn't end with hair dye and tiger stripes.

Good news for Daria's one-person fan club, because it's also National Amelia Day! Maybe she can spend the day following Daria around, or better yet, telling Skip Stevens off. That's always fun!

If she needs a new jerk to yell at, she could always pick Jane's ex Nathan because it's National Nathan Day and I can think of few people on Daria that deserves their own holiday less.

Smoke on the (Toilet) Water

It appears that someone in the girls' bathroom has chosen the wrong way to celebrate Great American Smokeout, because you're supposed to take the opportunity to quit smoking cigarettes. Then again, it could just be another Tommy Sherman exorcism, which I would completely support.

I wonder if Mr. DeMartino ever observes Future Teachers of America Day by wishing the worst possible fate upon his least favorite students: a desire that they, too, will one day have to teach idiots. I doubt Daria will be among that group, as her brief stint as a substitute probably scared her off the profession for good.

Jane should know that today is International Hug a Runner Day, so she should try to get all of the hugs she can get. However, it might be a good idea to shower first if she just got back from a run. Or at least apply some deodorant.

Fanfic Update!

• Harry Potter Morgendorffer, by Meester_Lee (part 45): "She was in the middle of some dream she didn’t remember when she felt someone’s hand on her shoulder. “Daria, wake up!” said the Quinn-like voice. She opened her eyes and saw that it was Quinn."


• Is it The Purge Yet?, by darialalalalala (part 5): "'So, what should we do with Kevin now that Brittnay is gone?' Daria asked. 'Ehh, we'll just throw him out the window.' 'Alright then.'"


• The New Girl, by wilddogjj (part 1): "Mrs. DiBenedetto, a pudgy middle-aged science teacher with glasses, was addressing her seventh-grade science class. The class includes Teddy Carbone (Quinn and Jim's son), Rachel White (Jamie and Nicole's daughter) and Kevin Thompson Junior (Kevin and Brittany's son...actually, Daryl and Brittany's son but everyone pretends otherwise so the boy doesn't find out that he's the product of an extramarital affair)."

Supernatural Phenomena is Really Shiny!

Not sure if Tiffany is celebrating Occult Day or if she's just decided to go all-in on the "black is slenderizing" philosophy. At least the candle doesn't make her look fat, although I think she was a little too heavy-handed with her makeup.

Quinn, on the other hand, would far rather celebrate National Princess Day. After all, she's far better known for pink than black, unless she's trying to cover up a neck zit. Shhh...you didn't hear about it from me!

Meanwhile, it's possible that Noah Barkman is enjoying National Entrepreneur's Day, but if the dotcom bubble hit him as hard as it did many others like him, then I doubt it. Jake was probably very lucky to have gotten out when he did!

"The greasy fry, it cannot lie. Its truth is written on your thighs."

Daria and Jane are waiting patiently for their turn to celebrate National Fast Food Day, but I'm on the edge of my seat waiting to see if they'll choose fries or things. Maybe they'll splurge and get both!

Switching topics from greasy to slimy, today is also National Charles Day, which Upchuck would be wise to observe by keeping his mouth shut. Especially around anyone female.

If he chooses not to take my advice, I hope for his sake that his intended target is celebrating International Tolerance Day. In that they might be willing to offer him a ten-second headstart before they retaliate.

Fanfic Update!

• Q's Visitor, by wilddogjj (COMPLETE!): "Quinn and the triplets were seated at a table. Each of them had a massive pizza in front of them. 'Wow,' said Tommy, 'This is really cool, Mom!'"


• Spider Quinn 19 Making the News Amidst the Storms, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 6): "After talking to Quinn, Brittany decided to seek out Andrea before lunch ended. ‘It’s barely a week since the last time she helped,’ she thought as she left the library and looked around the courtyard. ‘But is she in the cafeteria?’ she wondered."

Don't Guac It 'til You've Tried It!

I see that Jake has no intention of missing the guacamole on National Spicy Guacamole Day, but I hope he leaves some for the rest of the family. Especially because Jake's track record on spicy foods is...not great.

At least he isn't overdoing it on sweets, which would be a terrible idea on World Diabetes Day. Please keep the following advice in mind:

Mr. O'Neill: You know what they say, a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down.

Jane: Not if you're diabetic.

Much of the Daria cast will be glad to know that today is International Girls Day, although by now the "girls" from the show are middle aged. And doesn't that just make you feel old?

Just Wait Until He Finds Out You Can Have Pizza with the Works AND Anchovies!

Ted is enjoying another new experience by trying a pizza with many toppings in honor of National Pizza with the Works Except Anchovies Day, and I suppose next he'll try pizza with anchovies. I'm sure neither pizza will be able to hold a candle to the wonder that is gum, however.

Let's wish a happy birthday to the sculptor Auguste Rodin, who was born on this day in 1840. This will be welcome news to Jane, who was known to dabble in sculpting herself, but also a good opportunity to check out Steve Taylor's jockey statue to see if it's a genuine Rodin or a forgery.

Today is also the anniversary of Grace Kelly's birth in 1929, which is notable to fandom in that Jane compared Quinn to the late actress/princess in "The Teachings of Don Jake": "Lemme get this straight. You, Jake, Helen, and Princess Grace are going camping? Like in the woods camping?"

Fanfic Update!

• Heavenly Wine and Roses, by riotsquirrrl (part 11): "'This had better be worth it,' Daria says as she trudges along the nature path behind Jane. The other girl looks over her shoulder, saying 'C’mon, we’re almost there!'"


• Help Wanted! Rodent Problem!, by Doggieboy (COMPLETE!): "I don't know where to begin, and I'm not sure what to do. Nothing I have ever done has prepared me for this. Here goes. We have a rodent problem."


• Q's Visitor, by wilddogjj (parts 1 and 2): "Stacy Ruttheimer (nee Rowe) was sitting at the kitchen table having an angry conversation over the phone." (Part 2)


• Strange Days in Lawndale, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 1): "It was an ordinary day in Lawndale. Daria Morgendorffer was resting in her room. But suddenly her sister, Quinn, burst into the room in a hurry."


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Daria's Stolen Notebook), by Azul (COMPLETE!): "Every day is the same connotation. Tension rips and molars brux and there is pain on redux coated in something important and not like Alzheimer's fog over your son's face."

Daria Muppetdorffer

Daria looks way too happy to be dressed as a Muppet, but in fairness it's Sesame Street Day and it's hard to be grumpy around the Sesame Street crew--Oscar aside, that is. For a Sesame Street/Daria crossover that's both sweet and funny, read D is for Daria by Mike Xeno.

Don't forget to...uh...do something...what was it? Oh, right! Remember to celebrate National Forget-Me-Not Day! I don't think Mr. O'Neill will be celebrating this one, given his absolutely terrible memory for student's names. Aside from, oddly enough, Trent Lane.

Just as long as Mr. O'Neill doesn't forget the name of Lawndale High's science teacher, because if he forgets Ms. Barch then today will not be World Science Day for Peace and Development. The "science" part might be there, as an experiment on how much pain her boyfriend can handle before passing out.

It Kind of Looks Like a Bird Wearing a Top Hat To Me

Squint hard and see if you can recognize a herd of beautiful wild ponies running free across the plains in that inkblot, because it's the anniversary of Hermann Rorschach's birth on this day in 1884! I'm sure he would be just thrilled to know that his test was still being used in pop culture cartoons over a century after his birth.

Another birthday boy, Bram Stoker, was born on this day in 1847. Stoker, of course, was known for chronicling the life of internationally known celebrity vampire Dracula. Or maybe that was his brother Brad I'm thinking of.

Finally, Margaret Mitchell, author of the book Gone with the Wind, was born exactly 125 years ago today. Maybe Daria and Quinn will sit down and watch the movie together, perhaps with a snack of Johnny cakes courtesy of Jake's "top-rail number one" Civil War-era cooking.

Fanfic Update!

• Harry Potter Morgendorffer, by Meester_Lee (part 44): "The days continued to count down to the day when Daria and the rest of her family would set off for New York City. Miracle of miracles, Quinn remained on her good behavior. Daria didn’t know whether it was because her Mom’s threats or if Quinn was saving the big one for the day that she and the rest of the family would set off for the airport."


• Scares the Beef, by wilddogjj (COMPLETE!): "Chad and Angie are asleep in Chad's bed. Chad wakes up, turns over and stares at Angie. Angie starts to wake up." (Part 5) (Part 6)


• Spider Quinn 19 Making the News Amidst the Storms, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 5): "The Sun was rising when the Shadow arrived back at Casa Lane and changed to the ordinary Jane. She saw that Trent and Jesse were in the kitchen making a snack."

She Shoots, She Scores!

Jodie's sporting a new look and a new hobby for National Basketball Day, but I don't think it will go over well with her parents. They probably won't care too much about the hair dye and tattoos, but they'll be very concerned that basketball playing might take time away from the hundreds of other activities she's supposed to be doing right now.

It might be some comfort to Jodie's mother that today is National Michele Day, although I suspect that she'll find something to be offended about. It's one of her biggest strengths, after all.

Maybe Andrew Landon can help soothe her ruffled feathers by fixing her a nice meal, especially because it's Men Make Dinner Day. We can only hope that Jake decides not to celebrate this one, because I don't think Helen, Daria, or Quinn want blackened tongues tonight.

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Shall We Eat Some UNAUTHORIZED Chocolate?

Daria and Tom are fully immersed in celebrating National Candy Day, and I'm happy to join them! Let's hope that the local stores decide to help out by having plenty of post-Halloween candy sales going on.

Once your sweet tooth is sated, you could do something sweet for others in honor of National Day of Community Service. I wouldn't recommend reading to seniors, though, as they can be a pretty tough crowd, especially if you don't have a pleasant and cheerful voice.

While we're on the subject of voices, let's wish Wendy Hoopes a happy 53rd birthday! Hoopes voiced Jane Lane, Helen Morgendorffer, and Quinn Morgendorffer, which means that in some episodes she did a large share of the speaking!

Fanfic Update!

• But You Always Knew the Truth, by riotsquirrrl (part 11): "Jane's train was late. Daria kept pacing up and down the corridor of the station. She had a book to read."


• Daria Enrolls At Nevermore: An Experiment, by Meester_Lee (part 19): "Helen watched as the sheriff and deputies took Gomez Addams away. 'Daria, does this sort of thing happen every week?' said Sirius. 'Not every week,' Daria replied."

Check Out That Beautiful En Pointe!

Mr. DeMartino is showing an unusually graceful side and a surprise hidden talent to celebrate World Ballet Day, and even in a tutu I feel like he still has more dignity than he ever felt as a teacher. Perhaps Daria could take the opportunity to learn the skill, if only to make peeing in the woods easier in spite of the pervert squirrels.

Someone should tell Quinn that it's the anniversary of Marie Antoinette's birth in 1755. She can tell everyone about the champagne glasses and the French tabloids, but perhaps she ought to leave out the part about the Marquis de Sade.

I hope those who live in countries that observe it enjoyed the extra hour of sleep we got due to Daylight Saving Time ending. I'm sure it will make up for the annoyance of resetting all the clocks, trying to readjust to the new schedule, and not seeing the sun for more than a few hours per day.