I hope no one is thinking about taking Upchuck up on his offer to help you celebrate National Bootlegger's Day, because I wouldn't trust anything produced by him--old-timey or otherwise. Both his taste and his ethics are...questionable at best.
If spicy foods are more your speed, feel free to enjoy National Hot Heads Chili Day by burning off a portion of your mouth. Jake might observe this one, although whether or not it will be intentional is anyone's guess.
Finally, let's all wish Theresa a happy Customer Service Day, although the happiest day would be not having to wait on the Fashion Club. That poor woman has definitely suffered enough.
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