Those who know me best know I am a sober, thoughtful man, not prone to wild fancies nor paranoid delusions nor rash judgments. They know my word can be trusted. And so if I said to you, Daria fans, that I have discovered a shocking mystery that defies rational explanation, a mystery that quakes the very foundations of logic and reality, then you would know that I had found a mystery indeed.Alas, as it happens, I have discovered such a staggering anomaly in the otherwise well-structured Dariaverse that for a time I was afraid to reveal this nightmare, for fear of the effects this discovery might have upon the delicate minds of impressionable citizens such as yourself. But I can hold back no longer; the truth must come out.
Yes, my friends, I have incontrovertible evidence, which I present to you now, that Amy Barksdale got a boob reduction.
Cast your gaze upon the first set of two photographs above, which come from "Through a Lens Darkly" and show a rather curvy, well-endowed Amy. (Click on the image to enlarge it.) Next, examine the series of three images immediately following that one, from "Aunt Nauseam," and... well, the proof should be as clear as Dr. Shar's implants. Something is missing. A lot of something is missing. What the heck happened here? Where'd they go? What did Amy do with them? What was she thinking? Were they getting in the way, or what?
Tonight we shall ponder this enigma in our beds and ask ourselves: why? Whose idea was that? Did they think that we wouldn't notice? We deserve answers, and we deserve them now. Thank you for listening, and I'm glad I could bring this to your attention.
