Meet Paul Myerson

Let's see, what is there to say about Rita's squeeze-of-the-minute from "I Don't." He thinks Rita is "flighty" but also "a tiger in the bedroom" (insert "it runs in the family" meme here), he was a Boy Scout with Jake Morgendorffer, he apparently hasn't seen Jake since childhood but recognizes him right off, he claims he was offered a corporate ice presidency at age 29 (he's about 47-48 during "I Don't," same as Jake), he has a sailboat and met Rita in some sailboat-related manner, and he plays golf. Paul also seems to be well off financially and have a casual regard for the law, as he pulled several hundred-dollar bills from a roll of cash and bribed police officers to overlook the chaos at the wedding reception. A risk-taker he certainly is, and also self-important, egotistical, confident, condescending, patronizing, and a boor. Erin thinks he is "pathetic," and Jake quickly comes to dislike his childhood pal, though some of that might be jealousy of Paul's successes and how he rubs it in.

Paul himself isn't so interesting as his presence is. Bear with me a moment. That Paul knows Jake and dates Rita is a point in favor of the Barksdales and Morgendorffers having once lived in the same general area along the East Coast. My guess is that they all came from the Pennsylvania-Maryland-Virginia-Delaware region around Chesapeake Bay. It seems too much of a coincidence to be otherwise.

Paul's presence also supports the theory that Rita is good at manipulating people for financial support, or else finding people willing to offer such support. The currency she uses in exchange for the cash is sex. Helen says that Rita was always their mother's favorite child, so we know where this trend started. Paul paid off the cops, and he might be bailing Rita out of other troubles to boot.

How might Paul reappear in fanfic after "I Don't"? Rita might dump him for someone else, and he might try all sorts of things to get her back. He doesn't strike one as evil, but he could be very annoying. Then again, he might dump Rita for someone younger and prettier, and Rita might not take that well, leading to trouble. She might need his money at a crucial time, but he's gone. Daria or Quinn might get a summer job working for his company, discover he's involved in illegal activities, and you take it from there.

My creative ability is a bit strained with this character. He's good for something, but it's hard to say what. Any ideas?