See You in the Funny Papers, Mr. D!

The Katzenjammer Kids, the longest-running comic strip ever, first debuted on this day in 1897. Mr. DeMartino is The Captain from the strip, presumably chasing after some students who couldn't tell him what year the War of 1812 began.

Fanfic Update!

• All Points (Something I bashed out....), by neonhomer (part 1): "'Open a channel.' Said Daria. 'Open.' Said Davies. Daria straightened her uniform, but only out of habit. They couldn’t see her. 'Romulan vessel, this is the Federation starship USS Lawndale, Captain Daria Morgendorffer commanding. We are prepared to evacuate you and your crew to the Lawndale.'"


• The Author as a Lesbian, Season 4, by DeacBlue (part 1): "'Oh, look,' sneered Sandi. 'It's the dyke and her artgeek girlfriend.' She put her finger to her lips and looked at the store that they had almost arrived at. 'Isn't she the girl that was so naive that she still believed in Santa Claus when she was twelve? and after that Christmas, painted all those ugly pictures of Santa Claus? and -' She was stopped by Daria's hand in front of her face."


• The Cupboard, by Vukodlak (parts 1 and 2): "It turns out there was a Zon in afterlife but to get past the Bouncer you had to tell him an interesting story about how you died or be a hardcore punk but they tend to have interesting deaths anyway. Three new arrivals in the afterlife are trying to get inside." (Part 2)


• Deck The Halls (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: Last Friday Night!), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "'Daria!' Brittany shouted from the bedroom. 'Huh?' Daria was working on her reading for her graduate English seminar. 'We have to go downtown and buy a Christmas tree!' 'We do?' Daria said, not looking up. 'Did some horrible federal law get passed?'"


• John Lane 52: From the Last Step to the First, by RLobinske (part 1): "Daria said, 'I know it is almost unheard of these days for someone to become engaged at our age, but sheesh, this ring seems to be sucking the brains out of everyone within fifty feet. I swear that the average IQ of Lawndale High has dropped thirty points since I stepped on campus.' Mack said, 'That, and causing guys within fifty feet to become unduly paranoid.'"


• LLH Alternate Future - 09 - It Never Ends, by psychotol (parts 1 and 2): "'Are you going to cause problems Daria?' asked Stacy. 'Problems for whom?' asked Daria. 'That means "yes",' translated Jane." (Part 2)


• Quinn's Code 05: Morgendorffers vs. Amazon, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 2): "That night Sandi Griffin looked in her mirror after cleaning her teeth. 'I'll will win that modeling contract! The Geekendorffer will not get it!!' She decided to find a way to sabotage Quinn's chances. 'There is no way that she will be allowed to win,' she thought with a slight frown."


• The Real Legion (LLH Mini), by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "'I'm Jasper Wells, Miss Morgendorffer,' the man said. 'Quest Industries - Global Public Affairs. I’m with the Entertainment Division, and I used to work with ZNN. Miss Hall sent me to talk to you about the possibility of a reality show featuring the Legion.'"


• A Song About a Quail (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: Last Friday Night!), by Smijey (COMPLETE!): "Daria's face suddenly had a huge, out-of-character grin on it as she spotted another camp alumni who was drawing near. 'AMELIA!' she cried out. 'DARIA!' Amelia returned. The two embraced warmly."


• Tigresses of Lawndale (Reposted), by taishigi (part 11): "Seeing Amy still looked stunned, Daria realized what she should do. She took Amy's hand and asked, 'Are you my mother?' 'No,' Amy replied, her eyes wide. 'Aren't my parents alive? Solvent? Non-abusive, and even, in their own clumsy way, at least somewhat caring?' Amy nodded. 'And, whatever our private opinions, aren't they legally sane?' 'I suppose,' Any conceded. 'Then I absolve you of any moral dilemmas.'"


• The True Story of How Tiffany Blum-Deckler Destroyed the Fashion Club, by ticknart (COMPLETE!): "'And it’s such a shame,' continued Sandi, 'that all my years of training went to waste.' Tiffany took a non-committal sip. 'I mean, seriously, what is Stacy thi--' 'I think,' interrupted Tiffany, taking the straw out of her mouth and speaking slowly, 'that she looks cute.'"


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: Last Friday Night!), by Charles RB (part ): "KILLER: I'm KILLER QUINN, the PRINCIPAL of this high school - and Educator Burnout here says you jerks DIDN'T DO YOUR HOMEWORK! Time for PUNISHMENT! BURNOUT: Yuhhhhh... ERIC: B-But we weren't told of any homework- Panel 2. Extreme close-up of Killer Quinn with a chainsaw! KILLER: EXACTLY!!"


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: Last Friday Night!), by Greystar (COMPLETE!): "'Lisa, don't you think I would know if I had a tattoo?' Sandi frowned as she and the cheerleader walked out of the girl's showers, wrapped in towels. 'Something like that would be a fashion don't of the lowest order!'"