What's Cooking?

Jake's whipping up a special meal for National Kitchen Klutzes of America Day, but I don't think he'll have any takers to try it. I sense a pizza delivery order in the Morgendorffers' future. Don't worry, though, Jake; after turning your tongue black with Kitchen Sink Stew, the hot dog fiasco, and almost burning the kitchen down entirely, I think you've got the title all sewn up.

Fanfic Update!

• Cops And Robbers And Magic, by psychotol (part 27): "As Carrie and Kira sat in yet another motel, they channel surfed, seeing the burning farm on every news channel."


• Dylan, by J-D (part 35): "Lawndale High was the first school in the whole State with bomb-sniffing dogs. What a coup! That would help to cement Mr Chung's reputation."


• The Interview, by dmsfanman (part 5): "Back in the cubicle Daria worked on completing her piece about the paintball fieldtrip. Daria looked at the clock on her computer when she finished her work. There was about 15 minutes left until the deadline."


• The More Things Change, by Two-Eyed Charlie (part 8): "I would love to tell you that, when I finally got to my apartment, I entered with all the vigor of victorious General and marched towards my destiny like the subject of a religious painting."


• Of Inhuman Bonding, by Kristen Bealer (part 1): "'God forbid I should count on anyone!' Jake raged at no one in particular, furious that Helen had backed out of going to the Eatertainment Conference with him."


• That Bitter Memory (Hiding in Plain Sight (Alternate LLH, Plot Bunny to Kill)), by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "The young woman - barely into her teens, with the occasional spot of acne and the lanky, awkward appearance of someone going through their growth spurt - brushed dirt from the sleeve of the painfully canary-yellow prison uniform she wore as she picked herself up from the ground."


• Unnamed story (Hiding in Plain Sight (Alternate LLH, Plot Bunny to Kill)), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "'This is what we live for,' Chief Petty Officer Morris said. 'We are facing the most dangerous game. This jabrone, whoever he is, he isn't facing some gun-toting thug. He's facing the Navy Seals. The best of the best.'"


• Unnamed story (LLH - Short Entries), by Roentgen (part 22): "Daria had told the Legion the prognosis on Bai Zheng. The plan was to depart at 5 pm and head back to the tower."


• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria fanfic should have: 600 Years Afterward.....), by WacoKid (COMPLETE!): "'OK, class,' Lawndale's history teacher Alexander Jericho announced, 'We have a new student joining us today. Daria Morgendorffer, please raise your hand.'"


• A Young Cynic's Mix (Black Daria), by EntrancedCat (COMPLETE!): "The woman finished putting sunscreen on a tow-headed boy of about five and directed him to play where she could see him. She stood up and smiled at Jake. 'So you're new in town? I'm Melody Ratzlaff.'"