Junk Food and Monsters

Jane's in costume for Frankenstein Day, or at least I hope that's a costume. There's trying a new look and then there's just plain freaky.

Today is also both Toasted Marshmallow Day and International Bacon Day, so we can enjoy a variety of culinary delights. I'm not sure about combining the two, but feel free if you're in the mood. Seems like a very Jake-esque thing to do, doesn't it?

Fandom News!

• Discuss the issues some people are having with quoting.


• Read the study that suggests people popular in high school might be miserable as adults.


• Find out just how bad a sheriff Joe Arpaio was.


• Would you have survived the Middle Ages? Tell everyone about it in the thread.


• Join in Roentgen's exercise in thread moderation.

On Your Mark, Get Set, Squeak!

Roger the Mouse is ready for his big moment on Race Your Mouse Day, but wants to make sure Brian Taylor is nowhere to be seen before the race starts. Can you really blame him? Although that would be one way to motivate him to run fast.

Today is also the anniversary of the birth of Leo Tolstoy on this day in 1828. Even though we'll never see that unwritten sequel to War and Peace, it's pretty likely that Aunt Amy is a fan per Rita's comment about her reading "those weird Russian novels."

Fanfic Update!

• The Cop and The Criminal, by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "A tired and sore Karen eked out of the elevator, and somehow managed to guide herself towards the comfort of a very large couch before her legs decided that they didn't want to work for her anymore. 'I see you met Sergeant Nemec.'"


• Daria Crossover Untitled, by macross (part 1): "'Ms. Morgendorffer will you please get a move on, and take a seat?' Daria Jerked her head back in surprise at the sound of her Principal Ms. Angela Lee. She had been lost in thought and had been standing in the charter bus aisle far too long."


• How cliche could you get?, by starwater09 (part 2): "I don't know HOW I ended up here but I need to get out NOW! Those were her first thoughts when she woke up the next morning to find herself with a massive hangover and in bed with Kevin Thompson."


• Lost and Found, by Princess_Pasta (part 2): "It was just past 12:00 AM when Elsie's cell started to buzz. She groaned in protest as she tried to pull herself from her tangle of sheets, none too happy about being woken up."


• Monkey Business, by Kristen Bealer (COMPLETE!): "The rest of the kids made their way down and began hovering worriedly over Mikey. Charlie even let slip a few sympathetic tears of his own. 'We should really find a grown-up,' Jodie said fretfully. 'Can we go get a grown-up now?'"


• On The Road, by elainefr (part 45): "'Hey.' 'Did you see Quinn? Is she okay?' Trent looked at his girl on the video chat screen and traced her face with the pad of his thumb."


• Poaching Talent (Daria and the Gang Thread II), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "Jane brought the tray of burritos out onto the bar. 'Here we go! Empanadas a la Lane!' 'Thanks, Jane,' Daria said. 'Although if you told me that you'd ever have a Super Bowl party when we were in high school, I would have had to seek other friends.'"


• Shadows of a Timeless Song, by Dennis (part 15): "Daria's first sight of Castell Dinas Bran was dismaying, to put it mildly. The mossy hill on which it sat at first appeared empty as they approached."


• Telepaths and Snacks, by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "'I've seen documentaries about lions feeding that turned my stomach less than this.' Daria turned away from the sight of a large group of cadets - about fifty or so - as they ate at the cafeteria tables prepared for them."


• That Summer, by The Central Scrutinizer (part 18): "Jeffy looked up from the computer behind the counter. He noticed Cohle sitting in a chair near the main entrance. He was wearing a jacket and tie, had a small bouquet of flowers and a bottle in his lap, and was worrying an unlit cigarette between his fingers."

Jake Could Write Songs for Dogs!

Be extra careful on the road today for National Dog Day, especially if you have poor peripheral vision. Quinn may celebrate by either feeding the first pancake off the stove to a dog, or just spending some quality time with her favorite puppy, Bark.

Today also happens to be Women's Equality Day, and I am really trying not to speculate on why these two holidays share the same day. Let's all just assume it's a total coincidence and move on. Michele Landon, I'm sure, would be much less generous.

Fandom News!

• Discuss the therapist who was fired for being "too cute."


• Read Trae Crowder's essay: "My Father's Confederate Flag."


• Join in Roentgen's suitcase experiment.


• Name the most epic character gone insane moments from cartoons and anime.


• Was Stacy a victim of childhood emotional abuse? Share your thoughts in the thread.

Celebrate this Holiday Responsibly: Always Check the Date First!

Don't worry about Jake. He's just a little upset because it's National Waffle Day and he accidentally ate some waffles that were past their sell-by date. Honestly, though, I would think that--after his run-in with Tokyo Toby's--he'd know what real food poisoning feels like.

Today is also International Strange Music Day, so don't freak out if you hear Trent composing another jingle for Happy Herb's. Unless the music actually sounds good, in which case you should definitely freak out.

Finally, it was on this day in 2000 that TV Guide Online published an "interview" with Daria Morgendorffer. Read it to learn about her thoughts on her first movie, her feelings about school, and her fondness for yo-yo tricks.

Fanfic Update!

• Dying in a Nightmare (Two-Eyed Charlie's "Wacky One-Shots & Misc."), by Two-Eyed Charlie (COMPLETE!): "Jake finally understood things now, understood why his life always took a hard right off the overpass."


• Monkey Business, by Kristen Bealer (part 1): "'Happy birthday to me! Happy birthday to me! Happy birthday dear meee-eee, happy birthday to me!' Jane was bouncing around the front yard, waiting for her party guests to arrive."


• Unnamed story (LLH - Short Entries), by Roentgen (parts 34 - 36): "'I'll bet,' Quinn said, 'that she jetted out of here because she knew this was gonna be awkward!' Then Quinn shut up. She was talking to herself, the first sign that you're going nuts. Without Daria available, Quinn's first idea was to talk to Jane." (Part 35) (Part 36)

They're Warming Up to Sing in that Heavenly Choir

Daria and Jane aren't fooling anyone on Be an Angel Day, but Quinn's guardian angel will surely show up to prevent light fixtures from falling on the popular kids. I've mentioned it before, but I still can't recommend Mike Xeno's Guardian enough.

Today is also the anniversary of Dorothy Parker's birth on this day in 1893. I don't recall Parker ever getting mentioned on the show, but there's no way Daria (the person or the character) wasn't influenced by her biting wit.

Fandom News!

• Say good-bye to recently-deceased comedians Dick Gregory and Jerry Lewis.


• What do you consider the most epic quotes from Daria?

Maybe a Hurricane--or a Birthday--on the Way!

Wait! Don't turn off the TV until we've had a chance to wish Al Roker a happy birthday! Also, he just might have relevant hurricane-related news to share.

If you really must shut off the television, then at least turn on the radio for National Radio Day. Unless Bing and the Spatula Man are on, in which case feel free to fling the radio through the nearest window. For more entertaining radio personalities, see "Free Radio Lawndale" by Ken Tremberth and Erin Mills. I promise, no one will ask you if you're mental in the morning.

Fanfic Update!

• Movers and Shakers (Daria and the Gang Thread II), by Roentgen (parts 1 and 2): "DARIA: "Hello, I'm Daria Morgendorffer and welcome to Movers and Shakers. This presenation allows us, through the use of sophisticated computer science and three-dimensional modeling, to recreate not merely the images, but the voices, the thoughts and the beliefs of some of the greatest and most influential people in history." (Part 2)


• On The Road, by elainefr (part 44): "'So......' 'So......' They both took a seat across from each other. 'We were supposed to talk......before,' Brad ventured watching her carefully. 'Yeah, we were- we should......talk.'"

Stacy's Still Giving Her Poems Away for Free

Andrea's prepared a dramatic reading for Bad Poetry Day, but I think she's got a long way to go before she'll beat Quinn's masterpiece. If song lyrics count, then Trent's also going to be stiff competition on this one.

Today is also the anniversary of the episode "Jane's Addition," which first aired on this day in 1999. There weren't any bad poems that I can remember, but we were...treated...to Jane's unique style of singing and introduced to fandom's most controversial character, Tom Sloane.

Fandom News!

• Discuss the recent Barcelona attack.


• neonhomer compares the lyrics of "Love Like You" to TAG's Pause in the Air series.

This is Not the Career Path I Would Have Expected for Her

Andrea's featured in the swimsuit issue in honor of Sports Illustrated's anniversary on this day in 1954. I think this is one publication that both Kevin and Upchuck would be interested in, and it's not often that those two have anything in common.

Today is also Bratwurst Day, so maybe Jake can start up the old grill and maybe, just maybe, try not to set dinner on fire. He'll likely have better luck with that than with today's other holiday, National Tell a Joke Day. Stick to the grilling, Jake.

Fanfic Update!

• An Artist's Commission, by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "'You're Jane Lane, right?' Jane didn't even bother to look up from her work. 'You want to talk to either Daria or Charles. She's got the afternoon off, and Charles is in a teleconference with some National Legion chapter heads. You didn't check before you flew in?'"


• The Black Sheep, by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "Zachary Joseph Howard hated the Legion. Not disliked them intensely, or loathed them, or abhorred the ground that they walked upon. No, it was far, far deeper or more fundamental than that." (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5)


• How cliche could you get?, by starwater09 (part 1): "All that could be heard all around her was loud screaming from cheering fans and clear drunken madness from college kids. One day Daria will look back on this day and still not understand how she ended up where she is now."


• Like People Who Talk, by MarinaTheBloody (part 1): "'So how real do you want this real talk to be?' Trent was leaning back in a metal chair outside of the cafe in a place neither of them lived, her visiting Jane, him coming through on tour."


• Star Trek: Voyager: What a Choice Leads To, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 1): "USS Voyager was still in Borg space. In her quarters, Kes was thinking. The transformation she was undergoing was beginning to become dangerous. Dangerous enough that permanent damage could be caused to Voyager."


• Unnamed story (Hiding in Plain Sight (Alternate LLH, Plot Bunny to Kill)), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "Daria - Melody Powers - rested on the couch. She felt that she was growing into the role of Melody - and she didn't like it."


• Unnamed story (LLH - Short Entries), by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "Stacy lifted herself away from the back wall of the shooting range, her eyes wide. 'That... is amazing.'"


• Unnamed story (LLH - Short Entries), by Roentgen (part 33): "Clifford Fetty always believed in re-investment. There was nothing that he really needed for himself, anyway. He couldn't have cared about fashion, or fine foods, or other things that the rich douchebags of the world cared about. To him, the money was always a means to the end."


• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria fanfic should have: 600 Years Afterward.....), by JPAGC (COMPLETE!): "Daria looked at the books. Then at the clock o her desk 00:58 She remembered, some time ago, that she had told herself that she would go to bed at midnight, regardless of how much reading and studying she had done. But now she did not want to go."

Liiiiiights...Caaaaaamera...Aaaaaaaction!

Tiffany is wishing a happy birthday to Lina Wertmüller, who was born on this day in 1928. Wertmüller doesn't get directly referenced in the show, but Daria--as a fan of Italian director/screenwriters like Federico Fellini--would probably be interested.

Today is also the anniversary of the birth of Doc Holliday in 1851. Holliday is best known for his involvement in the Gunfight at the O.K. Corral, from which Mr. O'Neill got the name for his summer camp. I think that summer camp might have benefited from more shootouts and fewer inner child paintings. Doc Holliday also features in The Angst Guy's Death Takes a Holliday.

Fandom News!

• ognawk and Princess_Pasta have recorded a new Lawndale Lowdown podcast!


• Watch and discuss a video about the last remaining Howard Johnson's.


• Talk about the terrorist attack in Charlottesville.


• What do you think of the last Daria mention by the AV Club?

Boxing Schrödinger

Jake and Mr. Whiskers are recreating Erwin Schrödinger's famous thought experiment for the physicist's birthday. Someone should probably explain to Jake that it's a hypothetical situation, especially before Mr. Whiskers catches on and tries to attack Jake in self-defense.

Today is also National Middle Child Day, and there are a few of those in Daria canon: Rachel Landon, Sam Griffin, Penny Lane, and either Helen or Rita (depending on your theory). Several AUs have Quinn as a middle child thanks to a third Morgendorffer daughter, but don't tell Quinn that today's holiday could apply to her--the last thing she needs is yet another reason to celebrate herself.

Fanfic Update!

• Children's Author Banned From Every Library in America, by Two-Eyed Charlie (COMPLETE!): "LAWNDALE—Children's author Daria Morgendorffer, best know for her infamous debut novel Robots Have No Souls (And Neither Do You), has been banned from displaying her novels inside the public libraries of America, as well as entering any library outright."


• Desert Stopover, by Cap (part 1): "It was blazing hot. Not surprising as it was an early summer afternoon in the Arizona desert. It could not be anything else but Brenda Talbois grabbed her pack of cigarettes and walked out of the convenience store/gas station anyway."


• Fates Entwined, by Deep Metal (part 6): "A few months had passed by with no troubles. There had been no more sightings of the campus serial killer and Daria had managed to get some reprieve from everything that had been going on with life."


• On The Road, by elainefr (part 43): "She's up there with him...... he hasn't come down or I would have seen him from this spot that I choose at the bar. Man, I am really a glutton for punishment."


• That Summer, by The Central Scrutinizer (part 17): "Martin Hart had not yet come through the door when the receptionist came rushing to him. 'The men in black are still here,' she whispered. 'In conference room B.'"


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Daria Porn Episode Titles), by Roentgen (parts 1 and 2): "'We're raising money for the new Lawndale young adult's coffee house!' Kevin said. 'Would you like to buy some holiday wrapping paper?'" (Part 2)


• Unnamed story (LLH - Short Entries), by Roentgen (part 32): "'...and now that the Legionnaires have become, well...celebrities...having Legion Tower miles off the main road and in an uninhabited area gives everyone the privacy they need,' Linda Griffin said. 'And my little girl is always a stickler for privacy.'"

Did Helen's Cell Phone Break Down or Something?

Jake and Helen are taking a rare break for Lazy Day, although I don't see how the tranquility could possibly last much longer. Either Eric's going to call or Jake's going to spontaneously remember something Mad Dog did thirty years ago.

Today is also Spider-Man's birthday, as the super-hero's first appearance was on this day in 1962. I know of at least two Daria/Spider-Man crossovers, Jim North's "Lawndale Marvels: The Spectacular Spider-Girl" and Ranger Thorne's "Daria's Web." If anyone knows of more, let me know in the comments!

Fandom News!

• Mourn the deaths of Haruo Nakajima and Glen Campbell.


• tjdolf wonders, when did Daria mention Mel Gibson?


• Vote in the Deadliest Warrior poll between modern-day Kwai Chang Caine and Walker Texas Ranger

Getting In Over Her Head

Jodie is having fun portraying the late swimmer and actress Esther Williams, who was born on this day in 1921. Either that or her parents found yet another activity to drag her into and the girl has just completely snapped.

Also, on this day in 2011, Racked published an "interview" with Daria: Daria Morgendorffer's Greatest Retail Regret, Plus a Brand-New Original Never-Before-Seen Daria Portrait. It's...an interesting look for Our Heroine.

Fanfic Update!

• A.R.C Chapter 10 Imprisoned, by ST91 (part 1): "Getting out from the white car Daria almost forgot to say bye to Andrea and Jane and to thank Mrs. Ruttheimer for taking her home. Yet it was understandable, the last hours had been an emotional rollercost for her."


• Drake And Jane Diaries, by James the Lesser (part 2): "Yo, Journal I love art, and there is a competition. Drake said he'd help me with it."


• Dylan, by J-D (part 36b): "Dylan was glad that Tracey didn't try to make small talk. She concentrated on the driving. Tracey also seemed to have the sour attitude to life in general that he appreciated. He was almost feeling relaxed, for the first time since Rod called."


• Rude Awakening #14: And she was gone...., by DIsaac (part 2): "(WHUB Studios) [Interior-DAY] (Mack is hosting his Saturday Afternoon Shift when Jodie comes in) MACK: All right, we got some new stuff form Portugal, The Man, LCD Soundsystem and how about I put in a double play of Nine Inch Nails for ya. That is all next on WHUB 98.5. The Alternate for New England."


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef : MMORPG, Lawndale style), by Waylander (part 22): "The way he talked about quitting... I hope I'm wrong. Darlene decided to do something uncharacteristic for her real-life counterpart – to seek out Singh and warn him."


• Unnamed story (LLH - Short Entries), by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "Tiger Beat Interviewer: I'm here with Legionnaire Michael Jordan 'Mack' Mackenzie - September's 'Man-Spread'. Mack: Let's spread it."


• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria fanfic should have: 600 Years Afterward.....), by WacoKid (COMPLETE!): "'OK, so I was wrong.' 'Big of you to admit that, amiga. Now pay up.' 'But I have to ask ....' 'Ask way, just as long as you put money in my hand while you do it.'"


• Unnamed story (World's Shortest Crossover, Part XIV: The Crossover Awakens!), by Wraith (COMPLETE!): "I've got the music. Currently I'm running to the not-so-fast-paced song, 'Heathens' by twenty one pilots. I love it."

Daria's Going for Her Fifteen Minutes of Fame

Daria's stepping on Jane's turf today for Andy Warhol's birthday, but at least Jane gets a cameo role. Daria's looking less than impressed by her homage to the pop artist, although perhaps she's just starting to understand Jane's distaste for painting copies.

Today is also National Root Beer Float Day, so feel free to treat yourself to some ice cream and a nice root beer...from a frosty cold can. Go on; I won't tell Helen.

Fandom News!

• Post your thoughts on the death of actor Robert Hardy.


• Martin Shkreli has been found guilty of fraud. What do you think?


• Vote in the Deadliest Warrior polls: Janet Barch vs. Femme Fatale, The Battle of The Ty Cobbs, and Lara Croft Vs Peebee.


• Roentgen posted a new Iron Chef in Creative Writing: Daria Porn Episode Titles.

Remember, It's Not What You Put Into the Cookies, It's What You Put INTO the Cookies!

Helen and Rita are a little nervous about National Chocolate Chip Cookie Day, because heaven forbid they attempt the arduous task of stirring some chocolate chips into cookie batter. Daria, depending on her mood, might bake a plate of heart-shaped cookies to creep Kevin out again.

Today is also International Beer Day, and the Keg Queen will be here shortly with the refreshments. Kevin, meanwhile, will be counting down the beers from ninety-nine, although I'm frankly shocked the boy is able to count that high--let alone backwards.

Finally, it was on this day in 1999 that the episode "The Lawndale File" first aired. I don't know about anyone else, but I wouldn't mind seeing a fanfic about what, exactly, Mr. DeMartino went through when he was taken in by those immigration agents. Any ideas?

Fanfic Update!

• Daria (and other characters) on the Defiant Round Robin, by EntrancedCat (part 56): "Noag, Commander and Owner of the Ferengi casino ship Golden Table, strode alongside Admiral Daria Victoria Morgendorffer. Daria Victoria was leading her landing party of Daria Judith Morgendorffer; Ashley Spinelli; Conan of Cimmeria; Winry Rockbell; Holly Golightly; Number Six and Paste-Pot Pete."


• Daria of Asgard, by Meester_Lee (parts 4 and 5): "The matron exited the de facto audience-chamber a short time later and walked over to the two girls. She was followed by another gold-armored guard, dressed like the ones who had escorted them into the city and then into the palace." (Part 5)


• That Summer, by The Central Scrutinizer (parts 15 and 16): "Daria was still asleep at the dining room table when her family came home and jolted her awake. 'Gah-DAMNIT! Helen, it's this damn credit card again! It says I owe them--'" (Part 16)


• Unnamed story (World's Medium-Sized Crossover), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "Sandi, Quinn, and Stacy were busy help decorate for Sandi's party. It would be the last Homecoming party they would ever have together, and they wondered what they would all be doing same time next year."

A Dire Anniversary...Get It?

Jane's reliving one of her worst memories in honor of the anniversary of the episode "Dye! Dye! My Darling," which aired on this day in 2000. Okay, finding out Daria and Tom stabbed her in the back not long afterward was probably worse, but damn that was one messed-up dye job. As in, the stuff of Fashion Club nightmares.

Fandom News!

• Discuss Mike Huckabee's call to repeal the 17th amendment.


• Vote in the Deadliest Warrior poll between Kwai Chang Caine and Little Joe Cartwright.


• Brother Grimace wonders what the active writing/archive sites are.