Thursday, April 9, 2009

Helen Morgendorffer's boobs - because we're all dogs...

Nothing more need be said.

Well, one more thing. Why does Helen seem surprised? She was a teen hottie during the Summer of Love - and with those bad boys attracting attention, of course she knew that any male who isn't gay or Timothy O'Neill would lose thirty I.Q. points the moment she walks into the room, right? I'm reminded of that episode of the ABC comedy Spin City when the Mayor was dating Marla Maples Trump. As she leaves from a talk with Michael J. Fox, Carter (MJF's co-worker who is gay) openly ogles the woman and comments (after MJP says that a woman who looks as MMT does hanging out with the Mayor is trouble) that, yeah, if HE'S looking at her, they they're all in trouble!

A running gag on the show is how, even with whatever problems the Parents Morgendorffer have, in the bedroom, they have a five-alarm sex life. More to the point, though, they still love one another very much - even if they may not like one another from time to time.

It's a reasonably honest and healthy relationship - even with that Bastard Eric sniffing around Helen every time he gets a chance. (Just once - I'd have liked to have seen Jake punch that bastard out, or at least just walk up to him with a world-shattering glare that clearly says, "Touch my wife, and I'll kick your ass so hard that the donkey that Mary rode on will bray in pain." (Obligatory Easter reference, BG-style, there.)

Still waiting for that essay on TAG on the Holy Grail of Daria lore - Helen's bra size. Personally, I'm going with 36C. I'm also thinking that there's a reason why, in "The Daria Hunter," Helen and Brittany both wore fatigues. (Well, besides the whole 'Jim's Paintballing Jungle' thing.) Can you imagine the mental distress our resident teenage nymphet with plus-sized breasts would have to endure if she and Helen were to be in the same area and wearing skimpy shirts?

More later. Say - when's S.C. going to do that artwork of Helen in her sheer pink nightie and house robe? You know the one I'm talking about...

8 comments:

MDetector5 said...

36C...? That's a bit small...

Gouka Ryuu said...

No it isn't, I bet that's realistic.


Though this all begs the question: Why care about animated boobies when you can go and see some nice real ones in the real world?

Ranchoth said...

One of my Dad's coworkers once got called out to a Five-Alarm Sex scene.

Not pretty. By the time he got there, the first paramedics that arrived were puking so hard they couldn't keep their gas masks on, and inside the building...

You ever seen what happens to shag carpeting exposed to five-alarm sex? It doesn't quite burn——it can't, really, in those conditions——it just sort of...caramelizes. You have to pry the bodies off of it, but they don't come up all the way. Depending on how they were positioned, you get the spines stuck to the crunching muck on the floor like overcooked turkeys.

The numbskulls had had Marvin Gaye playing——they know that because that's all the beat cop who broke the door down would say——over and over again, in this kind of weird laugh——when they finally got him outside, after he'd bashed the HiFi so hard that his Maglite cracked. They had to call the chaplain down and everything; the poor guy was never the same afterwards. I think the union ended up getting involved...

Bad business. Bad business.

Remember kids: Anything over three 1/2 alarm sex isn't just stupid, it's dangerous and illegal in most civic jurisdictions.

Now you know.

brnleague99 said...

Isn't it weird...that the older I get, the sexier Helen gets? Or maybe it's because I've been reading too much Brother Grimace fic.

Brother Grimace said...

Oh, the real ones are nice, too.

One of my therapists is 5-foot-2, wears glasses, is sarcastic bet nice, is a 38C - and I get to lay there for an hour with nothing else to do as she works on my legs, so I have to look at something... it's like Daria, but with a better rack. Score!

The Angst Guy said...

I like dogs. Cool post!

The Angst Guy said...

Still waiting for that essay on TAG on the Holy Grail of Daria lore - Helen's bra size.

I'm waiting on that, too. I had some ideas, but they need work.

MJPollard said...

(after MJP says that a woman who looks as MMT does hanging out with the Mayor is trouble)

Funny, I don't recall saying that. :-)