Put That in Your Pipe and (Don't) Smoke It!

Today is World No Tobacco Day, the day when people are encouraged to give up all tobacco products for twenty-four hours. This would be an especially good idea for those of you planning to participate in any faculty-DJ roller hockey games.

New Fanfic!

• "Beretta" Sparrow (Iron Chef: The Name Game), by breitasparrow (COMPLETE!): "'Please welcome, uh... how exactly do you pronounce your name?' 'Breita. Breita Sparrow,' she replied. The girl had short brown hair, brown eyes, and wore converses, jeans, and a novelty t-shirt. The other girls looked at her with envy and confusion, but mostly with confusion. 'A chick named "Beretta"? Cool!' Kevin said."


• Class Reunion (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: It's Friday!!), by InvisibleDan (COMPLETE!): "Officer Beavis of the Texas Department of Criminal Justice went up to Warden Butt-head and said, 'Diarrhea's in there doing it with Earl.' 'Whoa. I always thought she was one of those thespians.'"


• Daria/Dorian Ch. 15: Summertime Blues, by LadieT (part 3): "Trent lagged behind the two teenagers, until he felt someone grab his arm. He turned to see that Summer had dispersed her groupies and they were alone. He could see the look of concern in his big sister's eyes. 'Are you keeping an eye on them? The last thing Jane needs is a kid at her age.' 'Janey is a big girl and Dorian treats her with a great deal of respect. Neither of them want a kid right now and are taking precautions,' Trent said. 'Good. I don't want her to end up like me,' Summer replied."


• Daria's New Babysitting Job, by Doggieboy (COMPLETE!): "'Ahhhh!' Quinn said when Daria came into the house, leading a beagle on a leash. 'what a cute little beagle! Where did you get the dog, Daria?' 'Mr. DeMartino paid me $25 to watch him for the next two hours,' Daria said. 'Since he seems to like me, it seemed like easy money to me. His name is Buster.'"


• Daria Vs. Old Betsy & The Five Avengers, by RX-87 (parts 1 - 3): "Fearing the house would come down around her ears, the lean, blond girl flung the front door open and ran outside, paying no attention to her parents' whereabouts, half hoping, perhaps, they would not make it through the quake. When she saw what was outside, she almost wished the building had collapsed on top of her." (Part 2) (Part 3)


• Esteeming Out The Gutter, by RX-87 (part 2): "'Whoa, sorry to startle you.' The other girl apologized. She was about Daria's age, though a few inches taller. She was dressed in a loose, sleeveless red top covered in stains of various colours, black shorts over torn-up black leggings, many of the holes exposing scabs, scratches and bruises, and a pair of black combat boots even bigger and meaner-looking than Daria's. He arms were decorated with spiked bracelets and abstract homemade, ballpoint pen ink tattoos. Beautiful blue eyes gazed sleepily out from a pale, heart-shaped face with plump, possibly swollen, cherry red lips bearing an asymmetrical arrangement of rings and studs. Her ears were covered in every kind of piercing she could fit in them and half her head was shaved, with a thick, ratty mop of raven black hair that covered half her face hanging from the other."


• Forget and Forgive (Iron Chef: If I Forget You), by Hyrin (COMPLETE!): "Daria stood slowly, feeling the world revolve fastly around her. 'Jane, did the doctor say anything about...memory problems...after the accident?' 'He said I might forget some stuff, but I feel pretty ok, except for a new hatred of dyed-blonde hair. Anyway, please, Daria. Can we make this right between us again?' Daria took a deep breath. 'Jane, I need to tell you something.'"


• Forgive & Forget/Relive & Regret (Iron Chef: If I Forget You), by thatLONERchick (COMPLETE!): "Jane was released two days later. She had sustained a mild concussion, but was declared out of danger by the doctors. The three of them swung by the commune to pick up Jane's things, but she only knew what was hers by the signature in the bottom right corner. She shook her head in frustration at the poor quality of the works, and her inability to recall the last few weeks of the summer. Daria and Trent traded worried glances as they gathered up Jane's things and carried them out to the Tank."


• General Semantics, Private Angst, by gwrtheyrn (part 39): "'Mr Vitale, Earth President Landon has invoked the External Threat Contingency. All armed forces of the Greatest Empire, and you, yourself, by name, are defined as hostile combatants,' the lie detector said, sternly, in a stentorian baritone. 'I can accept your surrender. For all other business, you can kiss my shiny, metal, robot ass.' It made a rude raspberry sound, and fell silent, as its LEDs fluttered ever more briskly."


• To Hell and Back Again, by Chris Tucker: "'Quinn, sorry about the delay in getting your birthday gift to you. I had it made specially for you. I hope you like it. Love you! D.' 'It' was a three piece set of jewelry. Matching earrings and necklace. The settings were silver, with faceted stones. Red, Green, Yellow and Blue. There was something naggingly familiar about the stones. She held them up to the sunlight that streamed through her bedroom window. The colors. She had SEEN those colors before, but where?"


• The House of Cards, by Doggieboy (part 4): "He smiled at her and said, 'Thank you for your time, Scarlett. If you ever have any questions for me, please feel free to call me. Leave me a message if I don't answer, and I'll call you back as quickly as I can.' 'Finding John is important to you, isn't it?' 'He's killed five people since February. What do you think? Has it also dawned on you that if he's still alive and out there, he could kill even more people?'"


• Life After Highland Ch. 1: Rush This!, by LadieT (part 4): "'Are you okay, amiga?' Jane asked. 'I have a lot on my mind right now,' Daria said. 'Want to talk about it? I have nothing else on my calender for the evening except for maybe a pizza run unless you want to get one delivered. We would just have to remember to tell them not to send Artie or you'll be listening to him talk about aliens for the rest of the night.'"


• New Leadership (Iron Chef: The Name Game), by HeirOfNorton (COMPLETE!): "Daria leaned against a tree, wondering where Jane was. Jane had 'hinted' that Daria would want to be here, but refused to say why. Daria looked at all the rest of the students, feeling bored. 'ATTENTION WORLD!' A voice boomed across the quad. Everyone looked in shock up at the figure perched on the roof of the high school."


• No Morning After (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: It's Friday!!), by breitasparrow (COMPLETE!): "Tom and Jane sat quietly at one of the best tables in a very expensive Italian restaurant. They had a beautiful view outside the window next to them, and the food was delicious. 'Wow. This is just... unbelievable,' Jane said. 'I'm glad you like it, because I have a surprise for you.'" (Sequel here)


• Not So Different 32: It Doesn't Get Any Better, by J-D (COMPLETE!): "'We have to work together as a team, a cheerful, smiling team. Remember our guarantee: "If we don't smile, the nuts are free!" And those free nuts come out of your pay. So show me your smiles: big ones, let's see them.' Kevin smiled the smile of a triumphant idiot. 'I can't', Sonny lied. 'Medical reasons. I can't smile without discussing it with my doctor. Old facial injuries.'"


• Not So Different 33: Storm In A Tinpot, by J-D (COMPLETE!): "Sonny sat on his bed, leafing through an old journal. His job at the pet shop had cut into his time for hanging out with Jane, eating pizza, and watching Sick, Sad World, and he was trying to decide whether it was worth keeping up his journal writing. Wednesday: Woke up to find had still not died in night: condemned another morning in 'burbs. Good day at school: managed to sleep through most of two classes. Hung out with Jane after school, watched Sick, Sad World (faces of baby Jesus and ET wall of shower)."


• Not So Different 34: Under The Same Roof, by J-D (COMPLETE!): "'I really don't know my kids! Unless—you're not by any chance looking for ... Sonny, are you?' He took a half-step backward, holding the door wide open and looking over his shoulder towards Sonny. Sonny's gaze caught Monique's eye. 'Oh, hi, Sonny!' she said. 'Is this your place?' Before Sonny could find his voice, his father swivelled spasmodically back and forth, his face contorting, until he ended up facing Monique again and saying, 'You're not called—“Foxy Mamma”, are you?'"


• Questions Asked Questions Answered & Pizza w/ Jane Ch 4, by Lord Yellowtail (COMPLETE!): "Stacy blushed slightly. 'You run across one little jerk mutilating cats, and everyone over the age of 25 spazzes out.' She narrowed her eyes, shoulders tensing in remembered anger. 'That little creep. Those poor little kitties ...'"


• Quinn's Code 03: Cafe Geekdale, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 2): "'We could read episode reviews there!' Tania said, excitedly. 'Then they will know that anime is better than it sounds!' she thought. 'Or cosplay and read episode reviews, or fanfic!' Tatiana Olivova exclaimed, emitting a squee-like squeal. The others just looked at her. 'What? There's nothing wrong with fanfic!' she said."


• Rude Awakening Ep 5: Switching Formats, by DIsaac (COMPLETE!): "(Daria walks over to Mack) MACK: (Sleep talking smoothly): That's right baby, Mack Dynamite got all those sexy moves you need. Hey baby let Mack Daddy love alllll over you! DARIA: Uhmm, That was totally awkward to hear and did not just happen. I now know why Kevin calls Mack, Mack Daddy!" (Part 7)


• Save the Last Trance for Me, by jtranser: "'Daria, I want you to come with me and meet a friend of mine. He's a type of demigod we call a specialty contractor. He's very useful when you need to muddy the waters and draw attention away from any political or social experiment you've run that's gone awry. For that matter, any divine screwup whatsoever.' 'I'm intrigued. So who is this guy?' 'He has many names, but he's primarily known as Racine Placebo, the God of Conspiracy Theories and Disinformation."


• Second Last Chance (Iron Chef: If I Forget You), by LadieT (COMPLETE!): "The phone call she received thirty minutes earlier had caused the color to drain from Daria's face. Now, she was a visibly shaken teenager sitting beside an equally shaken up boyfriend as they followed Trent to Ashland Memorial Hospital. Daria replayed the conversation with Trent over and over in her mind. Hey Daria - umm Janey got hurt and is on her way to the hospital. I know you two were having a rough patch, but I know you are still worried about her."


• Tag Team (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: It's Friday!!), by thatLONERchick: "Daria and Jane regarded each other across the weeping girl's bowed head, and a silent conversation passed between them. We have to shut her up. But how? We've been trying for the past half hour. Chloroform? Left it in my other jacket. Taser? Needs charging. Damn. Then there's only one way." (Part 2)


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Daria the Test Subject), by Greystar (COMPLETE!): "'Dr. Banner, is this thing safe?' Daria asked as a large spherical device on the end of a manipulator arm swung into place over her body."


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: It's Friday!!), by breitasparrow (COMPLETE!): "Helen woke up in a cheap motel room bed with a massive headache. The last thing she remembered was heading to her room the night before after a meeting that turned rather ugly. 'God, what did I do last night?' she asked out loud, expecting no response."


• We Meet Again (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: It's Friday!!), by breitasparrow (COMPLETE!): "'Well, hello, Daria,' The man said calmly. 'We meet again, Earl,' she replied. They stood there and studied each other for a moment. 'I was sure you'd forgotten me by now.'"


• " . . . Why Does This Shirt Smell Like Trent?" (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: It's Friday!!), by DIsaac (COMPLETE!): "Life has a funny way of turning on you. For Daria Morgendorffer, that turn happen one night when she opened the door to the room of Trent Lane. There she found her then boyfriend and her then crush entangled on the bed. Daria without think about the sight before her exclaimed 'WHAT THE HELL!'"

Remembering Those Who Fell

Today is Memorial Day, and while many people consider it simply a day off from work or school, it's also the day many others in the United States take time to honor those soldiers who died in the service of their country. Several Daria fanfic authors have written stories to commemorate this day:

• For the Day by RLobinske


• Memorial Day by Angelinhel


• The One Day We Forget by Brother Grimace

On a lighter note, Memorial Day appears as a student at Holiday High School in the episode "Death Takes a Holiday":

St. Patrick's Day: Uh oh, here comes Memorial Day.

Memorial Day: You gotta help me. Lincoln's going to make me recite the Pledge of Allegiance. Call him off!

Thank you to all those who serve.

The Name is Daddy...Mack Daddy!

Happy birthday to the late Ian Fleming, born on this day in 1908 and creator of the character James Bond. Although Mack is pictured as the British spy, Upchuck is the character on Daria known to be a fan. Also, Daria's Melody Powers character was most likely influenced at least in part by Fleming's novels.

Today is also the anniversary of the birth of the Dionne quintuplets, born in 1934 and the first set of quintuplets to survive past infancy. The Angst Guy wrote about a much scarier set of quintuplets in Quinnts Episode #101: Extremesters--five different Quinns!

Fandom News!

• Derek shares some space news, both good and bad.


• Do you mentally account for anachronistic elements in Daria episodes? If so, how?


• An interesting study about the possible relationship between lead and crime.


• Three new Iron Chefs in the Creative Writing forum: Silver's Daria the Test Subject, GlitterShrooms's Evil Jodie?, and Vukodlak's The Gift.

Holy Blog Post, Batman!

It was on this day in 1939 that Detective Comics #27 hit the stands, and with it the first appearance of Batman. A ton of comics, various TV/cartoon series, quite a few movies, and any number of offshoots have followed, including several crossovers and references in Daria fanfic. The Batmobile was featured prominently in The Angst Guy's A Knight to Remember and NightGoblyn (as well as a few guest writers) have created an entire series that includes a Batman crossover in Lawndale's Finest.

And speaking of fanfiction, here's the latest update!

• Ajar (Iron Chef: The Name Game), by Ajar (COMPLETE!): "One girl stood in the changing room, / Near purchases on parade. / And when she held the door ajar, / She knew she'd found the shades."


• Daria is Raven's Apprentice, by project pegasus: "Hilary Dorff: (staying his hand) It's ok. (She rises and walks to Cartoon Lezzie, who backs away a few paces.) Jesus, what have they done to you? (She begins to caress her face, but Lezzie turns away, as though she is ashamed.) No, it wasn't just them. This is my fault too. I'm so sorry. We all knew we were pushing you too hard. We knew something like this would happen. (She then notices her gunshot wounds.) Those bastards. We're breaking out. Come with us. We will make you whole again." (New part)


• Daria, or the Confession of a Single Lonely Male, by Arena del Sur (part 6): "Never in my life had I confessed so much or received so many confessions. The sincerity with which she discussed what she called her "love-life", from first necking to connubial experience. I was considerably amused by certain remarkable sexual habits that the good Jake Alfred Morgendorffer had had according to Helen who thought my mirth improper. But otherwise her autobiography was as devoid of interests as her autopsy would have been. I never saw a healthier woman than she, despite thinning diets."


• Esteeming Out The Gutter, by RX-87 (part 1): "Daria didn't care about how big a hole the next stop was, she was getting off. Anything for a change of scenery. Then again, it's not as if there was anything she did care about, was there?"


• Eye of the Beholder (Iron Chef: Popular Daria), by Hyrin (part 3): "Ms. Li slumped in her chair as the two girls yelled at each other. The nurse had brought them to Li's office after she ran out of bandages and was forced to go buy more (Note to self: arrange for a carpet cleaning). 'Both of you SHUT UP!' The girls complied, mainly out of shock. 'Ms. Hecuba, please tell me your side of this story and Ms. Lane, you will stay quiet!' 'I was in the bathroom,' Andrea began."


• The Gift (Iron Chef: The Gift), by thatLONERchick (COMPLETE!): "'That's the thing,' Daria lamented, staring into the depths of her Ultra Cola. 'He's rich; if he wants something, he just buys it. What the hell could I possibly give him that he doesn't have already?' Jane was silent as she studied her friend, awash in melancholia so thick, Daria was even neglecting her pizza. 'Well,' Jane mused. 'There is one thing....'"


• To Hell and Back Again, by Chris Tucker (COMPLETE!): "Their adoptive parents were none to pleased with the idea of their daughters taking off to the town that held such terrible memories for them. However, both girls were adamant. Daria was legally an adult, and Quinn would see her 18th birthday in Texas in another week. In the face of parental disapproval, Daria didn't hesitate to go thermonuclear. 'Doctor Slosberg thinks it would greatly help my progress to get some closure by seeing Greyfield and their graves.'" (Part 2)


• Jane Morgendorffer 2: The Middle School Years, by LadieT (part 1): "Daria and Jane stood and stared up at the front doors of Highland Middle School. The next chapter in their young lives were about to begin. The principal was just inside the front entrance giving the sixth graders directions to the gymnasium. Seeing a couple of their friends, Melissa and Jennifer, getting dropped off, Daria and Jane slowed their pace up in order for them to catch up. Despite getting better about being around others, Daria still stayed close to Jane."


• John Lane 50: Boxed In, by RLobinske (part 2): "Later, as Daria pulled the covers up and closed her eyes to go to sleep, the distant memory of a slamming door caused here to hold the sheet tight and want to crawl back into the safety of the box. In his room, John looked at the dark shape of the box. Oddly, he then recalled a box of half a dozen cupcakes with a candle placed on each one."


• LLH Alternate Future Mini - Win The Battle, Lose The Girl, by psychotol (COMPLETE!): "Quinn then emerged running, both guns empty with the sliders locked back, she threw them both across the car park and ran to Lori. The two men emerged from the alley carrying the clips and got to the guns before Eliza was halfway to Lori. 'ELIZA, LOOK OUT!' shouted Lori. They slid the magazines in and released the sliders, and pulled the triggers."


• LLH 'Mini' - 'Attraction', by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "'Hey – check it out. That's Jane Lane.' Pete Ross stopped in the doorway of the Talon (the local coffeehouse that the teens in the tiny town of Smallville, Kansas hung out at) his eyes wide as he took in the image of the slender, raven-haired girl in the National Legion windbreaker, sipping coffee at the counter as she finished off a blueberry muffin. 'Man, she's way cuter in real life than she is on TV – and look at those legs...'"


• Mad Dog's Legacy Chapter 9: Hard Time, by Hyrin (part 3): "'Hey, Jodie?' She stiffened when she heard the all-too-familiar voice. She turned slowly and said, 'Yes, Mack?' 'Are you still selling tickets to the Roller Derby?' 'Yeah,' she said quietly, knowing what was coming next. 'I'll take three,' he said, pulling out a wad of 1 dollar bills from his pocket."


• Not So Different 28: Something For Everybody, by J-D (COMPLETE!): "'What a pretty girl ...', Mrs Patterson said. 'Um, excuse me?' Sonny began. Taking him for 'pretty' would have to be put down either to failing eyesight or to incipient dementia (or both); 'girl', maybe the same, but he'd known able-bodied people in the prime of life to make the same mistake. Except that the conclusion of Mrs Patterson's sentence made it clear that it wasn't that kind of mistake. '... that Brittany is.'"


• Not So Different 29: 'Not Concerned With Any Particular Attribute Of Those Who Are Involved', by J-D (COMPLETE!): "Do you know the Good Time Chinese restaurant? — Sure, I've been there a couple of times. Are you looking for a recommendation? No, I was just wondering if you'd ever been out the back of the restaurant. — No, should I have been? Is there something worth seeing? I don't know. Would you consider a dimensional wormhole worth seeing?"


• Not So Different 30: You're On Your Own With This One, by J-D (COMPLETE!): "'I was going to say an adolescent mating ritual, but look who else has turned up to participate in it', he went on, indicating to Jane a direction to look in with as inconspicuous a gesture as he could manage. 'Barch and O'Neill', said Jane. 'I did wonder what happened between those two that day at Jim's Paintballing Jungle.' 'Nothing good, obviously.'"


• Not So Different 31: Not Getting It, by J-D (COMPLETE!): "O'Neill was babbling something about 'secret' and 'incognito' and then, unable to contain his exultation, he embraced Sonny, shouting 'We won!' WE?? thought Sonny, but all he said was, 'Lawsuit.' O'Neill's arms recoiled and he sprang back. Too bad he didn't go further. Three States would have been good."


• OverlordMikey (Iron Chef: The Name Game), by OverlordMikey (COMPLETE!): "'Yeah, well apparently everyone's coming out. All of our boyfriends say that; not only are they all bi, but they have all fallen in love with him and can't see us anymore because they yearn for his dorky and awkward, but ultimately endearing and cute personage - or something like that; they said it in a sonnet.'"


• Parts of a (Bung)Hole, by RX-87 (COMPLETE!): "As Max brought Jane down the hall to Beavis' studio, where he was currently working on his latest masterpiece, she wondered what she would say to him, what he would say to her. What was going to happen between them now? What would Max say if he found out? Would any of it make a difference? She had given up on living. She had no job, no plans and the money was beginning to run out. Would seeing him again really make anything better?" (Part 6) (Epilogue)


• Quinn's Code 03: Cafe Geekdale, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 1): "'Oh, my! A break-in. That never happened to a cybercafe in Highland.' 'Though it certainly happened a lot at other places,' she thought. 'I don't think there are any cybercafe's in Highland,' Quinn said. 'At least, I never heard of any,' she said. 'You do have a point there,' Helen said, after some thought."


• Reunion, by Hyrin (part 4): "'Brittany, get out of here.' Her voice was filled with venom and her eyes smoldered in a sudden flame of anger. 'Daria, calm down,' Brittany said, sounding afraid. 'I didn't mean anything by it. I just thought that you and Jane were together, so maybe this guy was available.' The burst of light from the camera flash was simultaneous with the slap of Daria's hand across Brittany's face. Raul was obviously expecting this moment, and was not disappointed by the results."


• Screams of Silence, by Jim North: "With a thorough deliberation, I set about getting myself put back together. My boots slide back on easy and lace down tight. The scars on my legs gradually disappear under the ace bandages, my left wrist gets nice and armored with the brace, and the katana goes back on my belt. I check the ammo in all of my weapons, then sort them back into their proper places. After stretching and shaking out all my limbs, I suddenly find that I almost feel whole again. Safe. Confident. Amazing what a serious amount of firepower can do for the old ego." (New part) (Newer part)


• Silent Melody, by Silver: "It doesn't take much to ruin a good day. Daria had, simply by walking through the cafeteria door, encountered such a thing. To be fair, it was ruining everyone's day."


• Size does matter, by BlackHole (part 46): "A day that had started so beautifully for Sandi - she woke up with her mother already gone and her father and brothers still asleep - was completely ruined within a single second during the customary pre-school meeting of the Fashion Club. All it took was Quinn Morgendorffer to ask a single question: 'Say, Sandi, why isn't the Fashion Club school sanctioned?'" (SFMB


• TAFKA (Iron Chef: The Name Game), by tafka (COMPLETE!): "The artist formerly known as Jane held proudly aloft her deed poll name change."


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Daria the Test Subject), by Hyrin (COMPLETE!): "THE CAKE IS A LIE / BE STRONG, AMIGA / THE CAKE IS A LIE / BE STRONG, AMIGA..."


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Daria the Test Subject), by Hyrin (COMPLETE!): "'Ladies and gentlemen?' a man in a tuxedo holding a microphone said. 'Can I have your attention, please? First of all, let's give the band, Mystik Spiral, one more round of applause. Weren't they great tonight?' The crowd clapped and cheered, causing most of the band to blush bright red. 'And now, for the crowning moment of this year's 'Bring Your Daugher to Work Day,' we are unveiling our latest creation: GLaDOS!' All eyes were drawn to the mass of computer circuitry and modules hanging above them."


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Popular Daria), by eujennya (COMPLETE!): "'... so I still have time, because I don't play sports, but student council and "Compositions" are keeping me busy enough and on my toes,' a smiling Daria was telling a group of parents surrounding her as she handed them copies of the school's student-run fiction publication. 'Life here never gets boring.'"


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: The Name Game), by RX-87 (COMPLETE!): "A commotion coming from the back at the pharmacy counter caught the girls' attention. A long line had formed and many of the customers were getting restless. 'Oooh, unrest at the breadline.' Jane quipped."


• Wassersauefer (Iron Chef: The Name Game), by Wassersauefer (COMPLETE!): "It was in my senior year of High School when it started again. I had long since alienated myself from my family, or they had done it, I don't really know anymore. I forgot moments again, first only seconds. Then I would stand there and stare at my friends who looked at me like I was crazy, only I could not recall what happened. The times this happened were few and a lot of time between, at least at first."


• Worldburner Finale: The Heart of the Matter, by Erin M. (part 2): "Archangel reached down to the floor and came up with a hard plastic case. 'I figured we shouldn't take off without leaving you something.' 'A parting gift?' Reiko smirked. 'More like a peace offering,' Archangel said, sliding the case across the bar. 'Go ahead.'"

Do You Know Where Your Towel Is?

Happy Towel Day, everybody! I know we have at least a few Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy enthusiasts out there in fandom, so here are a few Daria/H2G2 crossovers for your enjoyment:

• A Cynical Guide to the Galaxy by Jill Palmer


• Daria's Guide to the Galaxy by jBONE


• The Hitch Hiker's Guide To Sarcasm, part 1 and The Hitch Hiker's Guide To Sarcasm, part 2 by Tafka

And now, the moment you've been waiting for: the fandom news update!

• Kem has a question/request regarding videos at the PPMB.


• Fandom expresses its concern and best wishes for victims of the tornado(es) In Joplin, Missouri.


• Kara Wild is looking for help from any British legal historians.


• How would you mix Daria with Dungeons and Dragons?


• Who do you think was/is the biggest liar in cartoons?


• A new discussion/exercise in Weapons of Mass Distraction: Books We Own.


• The video game Duke Nukem Forever has finally been completed!

Gimme a Hand with this Caption Contest!

Post your captions in the comments!

Elementary, My Dear QB!

Happy birthday to Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, born on this day in 1859 and creator of the literary character Sherlock Holmes. There have been at least a couple of Daria/Sherlock Holmes crossover fics out there, including Ranger Thorne's A Study in Emerald and M Man's The Adventure of the Chinese Restaurant. There might be more, but my Google-Fu is weak today and I haven't been able to track them down. Post in the comments if you know of any others, and in the meantime I'll share the latest fanfic update:

• The First 24, by LadieT (COMPLETE!): "'Can I come in?' Daria's voice sounded tired through the door. Jane got up and opened the door. Daria stepped into the room, grabbed the desk chair and moved it next to Jane's bed. Jane sat back down and the two stared at each other in silence. Jane reached out and took Daria's hand in hers. Daria was going to pull her hand back at first, but relented and allowed it to stay in the raven-haired woman's firm, but gentle grip. 'I don't want to be some sort of experimental or rebound thing for you,' Daria whispered."


• Lawndale and Sandi Griffin's Genie, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 4): "Joey had an idea. 'See if you can distract them whilst I try to look at what information she has.' 'How?' Tiffany asked. 'Do whatever you do to distract Sandi. Ask them if you look fat or something,' Joey said. 'Do I look fat?' 'You don't look fat,' Joey said, as he tried to approach the computers. Tiffany gulped, and then went into distraction mode; 'Ms. Li-i, does this zero gravity make me look fat?'"


• LLH Alternate Future - 08 - Get Real, by psychotol (COMPLETE!): "'I guess that means Pat won't have as highly evolved a game plan as he'd have against the rest of us.' 'He's free world, I'm rabbit.' Said Daria. 'Huh?' asked Dawn. 'Trust me.' Replied Daria."


• Not So Different 26: Magic Eightball, by J-D (COMPLETE!): "Sonny stood up. 'I'm going home. Maybe the change of surroundings will stimulate my thought processes. Maybe the walk will clear my head. Or maybe I'll get really lucky and a drunk driver will jump the kerb and hospitalise me for long enough that I don't have to finish this assignment. At least if I get out of here my creative block can't jinx your painting.' 'Yeah, I might get so lucky that a meteor smashes through the window and my skull, splattering my brains over the canvas to create the greatest work of art ever seen.' 'Thanks for trying to cheer me up.'"


• Not So Different 27: Re-Envisioning, by J-D (COMPLETE!): "Sonny perched on the edge of the bed. 'I don't actually need any help. I just wanted a simple opinion ...' Quinn seemed not to hear. 'First of all we have to think about choice of colour. But once you've started you can always add options. Maybe you'd prefer to start with clear lenses, which would draw less attention to begin with.' Sonny half rose. 'Thanks, Quinn, really, but I think I can ...' 'Once we see what your new face looks like, we can think about how to change your hair to frame it ... from there we'd move to new clothes ...' Sonny bolted."


• Parts of a (Bung)Hole, by RX-87 (parts 3 and 4): "That rational part of her was just a voice in the distance now, grousing about somebody noticing the marks on Beavis, about security cameras, about her future or lack thereof. Was it really worth it? 'I am so fired.' Jane said in her most blase voice to her otherwise empty apartment. Yes, strangely it had been." (Part 4)


• Questions Asked Questions Answered & Pizza w/ Jane Ch 4, by Lord Yellowtail (part 2): "For the briefest moment, she imagined Emperor Palpatine with the Columbian Coffee Guy’s donkey and a steaming mug of some unpronounceable preppy coffee drink, and thought it’d be quite a funny picture if she knew someone who could draw it. Then she blinked and crushed the thought at her best speed, a slight snarl briefly crossing her features."


• Rude Awakening Ep 5: Switching Formats, by DIsaac (part 5): "MACK: I'll try not to interrupt you, Daria. DARIA: Thanks, Mack. Jane, can you make the same promise? JANE: (laughs): You know you are telling a Lane to keep herself in order. Daria, A Lane and order doesn't go together at all. It's a complete shock that I have a STEADY job at all."


• Save the Last Trance for Me, by jtranser: "The loathsome monstrosity that once was Kevin, slowly writhed its way up onto the beach until it came up to Brittany. Shrugging its lime green psuedopods, it squaveled itself erect, rippled its thoracic plates and spoke: 'Yo, Brit, check out my pecs, Babe.'"

Also, updates may be a bit sporadic over the next week or so as I will be out of town until Memorial Day. I'll still post when I can, though!

...And I Feel Fine!

Well, the world is still here for now, at least until the next time it's supposed to end. Maybe someone miscalculated somewhere. Maybe we got a last-minute reprieve. Or maybe the world realized it couldn't possibly end on Mr. T's birthday!

That's right, Mr. T was born on this day in 1952, and Mr. O('Neill) pities the fool who doesn't read Smijey/Smileyfax's excellent Daria crackfics: Mr T Meets Daria, Alison vs Mr T, Mr T and the Fanon Cannon, Daria Meets Mr T, and The T Virus.

Fandom News!

• Deref posted about his daughter's experiences in Cannes.


• Brother Grimace points out a new way to propose.


• Now you can have Daria characters on your stamps!


• Logo has started airing episodes from seasons three and four.


• DocForbin posted a Flintstones-related challenge in The Easel.

"Merry Christmas, you wonderful old garden gnome!"

No, it isn't really Christmas. On this day in 1908, actor Jimmy Stewart was born. At least two references were made in Daria episodes to one of Stewart's most well-known movies, It's a Wonderful Life. The first was in "Depth Takes a Holiday," when St. Patrick's Day tells Daria, "You see, Daria, you really had a wonderful life." Daria's response of "What the hell are you talking about?" wasn't in the original movie as far as I can remember, though.

The second reference was near the end of "Jake of Hearts," when Jake, excited by the revelation that his father was dead at his age, runs outside to celebrate in much the same way that Stewart's character did when he realized he was alive.

In addition to the above, Beavis and Butt-head also did a take on the movie in the episode "It's a Miserable Life." It turns out the world would actually be a much better place if Butt-head had never been born. Especially for Daria.

New Fanfic!

• A Conversation (Iron Chef: Daria and Quinn, Best Friends), by JPAGC (COMPLETE!): "'Quinn, that's the most ridiculous argument I've heard. People aren't fashion products!' 'No, you're right, they aren't. They're good writers... and good at fashion... and sometimes...' Quinn had become solemn '...sometimes they're great painters and runners, with big hearts and huge talents, who're not so good at math.' Daria looked down as a set of memories invaded her mind."


• Daria & ..., by HeirOfNorton (part 2): "Daria thought. The box was too heavy. She would need some way to move something that was too heavy to carry. She remembered Dad moving a bookshelf once with a big L with wheels. He called it a dolly, for some reason, like it was one of Quinn's Barbies. Daria didn't have that kind of dolly, but maybe if she had something else with wheels. She didn't have a wagon. She didn't have a shopping cart. The only thing she had seen lately with wheels was Quinn's..."


• Daria, or the Confession of a Single Lonely Male, by Arena del Sur (part 5): "What I transcribe here is what I remember of the letter, (including that affected Spanish). My first movement was one of repulsion and retreat. My worst nightmare, that a foreigner woman elder than me could fall in love with Ariel the Aristocrat hung over my soul. My second was like a friend's calm hand falling upon my shoulder and bidding me take my time. I did."


• Down Hill Spiral (Long Story Challenge #4, Round 1), by OverlordMikey (part 1): "I was sitting alone in my room when I got the call from my cousin Monique. The two of us had been close since we where kids; so it wasn’t shocking to get a call from her. What was shocking was what she asked me. You wanna start a band with Trent, Jessie, and me?"


• Eye of the Beholder (Iron Chef: Popular Daria), by Hyrin (parts 1 and 2): "'GUYS!' They stopped bickering and looked at him. 'This is what we did wrong last time! We were fighting amongst ourselves, and we made all three of us look like jackasses. We've got to play it smooth if we're going to have any luck this time.'" (Part 2)


• God Save The Esteem ep30: Dance Noon, by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): "'I wonder if you understand what the culture you're in is about. The self-scribed mythology is that you're standing against the powerful and that the powerless should stand up. And how do you do that? Using it as an excuse to put down and intimidate women and then act like this is a rebellious act and not just a cruder version of what quote The Man unquote does. You're a disgrace.'"


• God Save The Esteem Ep31: Lanes in the Butt, by Charles RB (part 1): "'Hey, you know, it's the weirdest thing! I can't feel my arm!' Daria glanced at her father, saying 'what does-' and then stopped as she saw how red he was getting. 'Dad?' He fell face first into his plate. Everything stopped."


• John Lane 50: Boxed In, by RLobinske (part 1): "'Didn't we have a refrigerator box when I was a kid? I seem to remember spending a lot of time playing in one.' After a brief laugh, John said, 'You know, I remember having one, too. Helen, can you keep an eye on things for minute?' 'I guess. Why?' 'I've got an idea.'"


• Mad Dog's Legacy Chapter 9: Hard Time, by Hyrin (parts 1 and 2): "Helen stepped over and looked, seeing the mugs. Without removing her eyes from them, she reached over and plucked a small branch from Daria's hair. 'Busted,' she said, no humor in her voice as she turned her lawyer gaze on her eldest." (Part 2)


• My Weapon, My Friend, My Lover (AUs, Brain Farts and other stuff), by Wassersauefer (COMPLETE!): "I have never been a very strong character. My parents and my friends knew it, always trying to shield me from the evils of the world and any sort of trouble. In High-School, I was neither popular nor a real outsider, just a faceless part of the masses. I'm neither dumb nor smart, neither athletic nor slob, just plain and boring. Not even worth of being remembered. The only reason boys ever spoke to me was because I'm not ugly and one of the few black students at Lawndale High. I'm not beautiful either, I'm just plain."


• Not So Different 24: Alone Again, by J-D (COMPLETE!): "'All right, Dad.' Sonny looked away from his father and then back again. 'Jane's pregnant. We have to decide whether to try to beat the odds against teen marriages.' Jake laughed. 'That's a good one, Sonny!' He stopped laughing. 'You are kidding, aren't you?' 'I don't know how many times I've told you, Dad. I don't date anybody. But if somebody called Foxy Mamma rings up, it's for me.'"


• Not So Different 25: Looking Another Way, by J-D (COMPLETE!): "'Look', Sonny said, his subconscious mind having been chewing over what Trent said to him outside about bullies, 'if I actually had a reason to want to get pierced, I wouldn't stop because some people might make fun of it or pick on me. I'm not going to avoid a piercing because of the way it makes me look to other people on whom I'm not financially dependent, but I'm also not going to get a piercing because of the way it makes me look to other people. Right now I look the way I am, and why should I change that?'"


• Parts of a (Bung)Hole, by RX-87 (parts 1 and 2): "Jane had never seen anything like the images that lay on her desk before. The best words she could use to describe them would be 'organized chaos'. They were a wild jumble of seemingly random splashes and angry strokes of paint, ink, charcoal, crayon wax and whatever other materials the patient had gotten his hands on. It was a total mess. And yet..." (Part 2)


• Quinn's Code - 02: Invite of the Geek, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (COMPLETE!): "Quinn, her friends and the Three Js left the mansion via the back door and went towards the adjacent woods. 'Are you sure its safe?' Joey asked. 'That Metalmouth story involved some woods on the edge of town...' 'It's a gated estate, of couse it's safe!' Quinn said."


• Rude Awakening Ep 5: Switching Formats, by DIsaac (part 4): "JOEY: Macy, Wait. MACY: That's the problem! I have been waiting! I can't wait for you to come around anymore. I've got to make the next move for me. JOEY: Damn. I have been successful in everything I did but love."


• (Un)forgettable, by thatLONERchick (COMPLETE!): "'I'm forgettable.' Trent slung an arm around her shoulders and squeezed. In the cool morning air, the warmth of their bodies was comforting and comfortable. 'I could never forget you, Daria.' Daria sighed, expression ambivalent as she watched the sky lighten through one of the dingy living room windows. 'We'll see.'" (SFMB)

The Darkest Hour...Was Most of the Day, Actually

At around noon on May 19, 1780, the sky went dark over New England, causing many to believe that the end was nigh. Turns out they were two days and 231 years too early. Maybe. Or not.

Also, in one fanfic universe, Daria found herself with a new pet on this day in 1991. Read the story to find out more!

Meanwhile, I've got the latest fandom news ready to share:

• The first habitable exoplanet has been confirmed. Better start packing now!


• Congratulations to rglovejoy on his new job!


• Who would you cast in a Daria live-action movie?


• MartinUK has some news about a Region 2 release of the Daria DVDs.


• What are your thoughts about the Flintstones Reboot by Seth McFarlane?


• Ranger Thorne is looking for advice about a scene that is missing something.


• Two new Iron Chefs: RX-87's Popular Daria and Roentgen's Daria and Quinn, Best Friends.

Another Disturbing Alter Ego: Yea or Neigh?

The first Kentucky Derby was run on this day in 1875. The winner was a horse named Aristides, who I'm sure ran much faster than Helen ever could.

Also on this day, in 1954, Brown v. Board of Education was decided. This not only led to the desegregation of public schools, but also was a significant step forward for the civil rights movement. Hooray!

New Fanfic!

• Daria & ..., by HeirOfNorton (part 1): "Mom got Quinn out of the car, and she and Dad stood next to Daria to look at the house. 'Who are we visiting here?' Daria asked. Her parents just looked at her for a moment, and Daria turned away, afraid she had said something weird again. 'Daria, we're not visiting anyone here,' Mom said. 'We're moving here.'"


• Life in Lawndale, by Chris Tucker (COMPLETE!): "'Dammit! You don't NEED to do this!' Intellectually, she knew this for a fact. Emotionally, she still didn't trust adults, particularly adults who were her mother and father. Evan a mother and father who had shown her and her younger sister nothing but love and affection and support, who had never hit them, who had never abused them. Unlike back at the old house. In Greyfield."


• Life Through A Glass Enclosure (Long Story Challenge #4, Round 1), by LadieT (part 1): "There on the front page was local celebrities Mystik Spiral after they announced that they would be starting their second world tour in their home town. After several years of struggling to make a name for themselves, they were finally on their way. Curtis crumpled up the paper in disgust as he thought about what could have been. "


• Not So Different 22: Getting The Silver Lining To The Mint, by J-D (COMPLETE!): "'Sonny Morgendorffer', she said, with surprising interest, and then a moment later, 'You don’t look well. What happened to your neck?' Sonny was confused. He didn’t know anything had happened to his neck. What could happen to a neck? Broken? Guillotined? 'You’ve got a horrible blotchy rash.'"


• Not So Different 23: Why Would Anybody Ask Us?, by J-D (COMPLETE!): "Why couldn’t Quinn learn to keep her big fat stupid mouth shut—sorry, keep her cute sweet perfectly shaped and optimally proportioned stupid mouth shut? Sonny had had no success before with aversion therapy, but he had not yet had a better idea. He asked his parents if the ‘everybody’ who should go included them. Initially, it appeared, his mother had only meant every student, but Sonny pointed out the opportunity for their parents to support Quinn by cheering from the footlights. Quinn’s facial features tried to escape from each other at the thought. There! Sonny thought. See what happens when you open your mouth? So stop doing it!"


• Quinn of Hearts, by Kristen Bealer (COMPLETE!): "'Well, good luck to y--hold on, did you just say Pizza Prince is open?!' Jane cried. 'Uh huh. I guess the renovations didn't take as long as they expected or something.' Daria leaned toward Jane to say in a low voice, 'Someone finally paid off the Health Department.'"


• Rude Awakening Ep 5: Switching Formats, by DIsaac (parts 2 and 3): "JANE: I know what you want to say, but I won't let you finish like Kayne. What if Upchuck being female makes him more sensitive to the feeling of other people. I could see 'Female' Upchuck being a hopeless romantic. DARIA: Jane, you just described Stacy Rowe. She is sensitive to the feelings of others and is a chronic hopeless romantic. JANE No, you mean 'Hopeful' romantic. Upchuck is Hopeless!" (Part 3)


• Silent Melody, by Silver (part 2): "Daria shook the thoughts off, and straightened up. She blinked, glancing around. Her eyes drifted over the milling crowd around Lawndale High. Her eyes finally fell on a girl sitting some yards away. Her eyes were covered by sunglasses with two very different lenses- one red and circular, the other green and rectangular. The girl stood, smirking, and started walking towards her."


• Topsy-Turvy (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: It's Friday!!), by thatLONERchick (COMPLETE!): "Quinn knelt on Daria's shoulders, pounding fists into the prone girl's face again and again. Jane stood aside, arms crossed, and frowned as she watched the brutal display. Her eyes were chips of blue ice."


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: It's Friday!!), by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "(Judith faces Daria Wraithkiller on the top of the Sears Tower, when - from out of nowhere - in pops Agency supervisor Richard (on lead guitar), Archangel (on bass) and Reiko Tsereba (on drums).) Judith: (actually surprised) What the hell is this?"

He Looks...Happier Than He Did as a Teacher, Anyway!

Happy birthday to the late, flamboyant entertainer Liberace, who was born on this day in 1919. DeMartino's impersonation of him on the left is probably equal parts accurate and disturbing.

Also on this day in 1770, Marie Antoinette and (soon-to be) King Louis XVI were married. I think we all know how that story ended, but Quinn learned the important stuff in Is It Fall Yet?

Quinn: Did Marie Antoinette really have the champagne glasses molded after her...you know?

David: We really should be focusing more on the politics of the Revolution, but that's what they say. If she'd been a different body type, we'd be drinking champagne out of bowls.

Helen: David, I must say I'm quite impressed. I've never seen Quinn have so much fun studying.

Quinn: That's because in school they only teach you the really boring stuff. Mom? Dad? Did you know Marie Antoinette never said "let them eat cake"? That expression comes from a story about a princess, written by Rousseau. Right?

David: Right.

Jake: Lousy tabloids!

Fandom News!

• The Angst Guy is looking for suggestions for storage space for his website. Any ideas?


• ninetwelve discusses his experience with Daria fandom.


• What was MTV trying to do with Daria in Highland? Or did they have any idea?


• Two new threads in the Weapons of Mass Distraction forum discuss Themepark 1984 (a documentary) and Eurovision 2011 (a televised competition).


• RX-87 posted a new Iron Chef in the Creative Writing forum: Title Sequences.

At Least Keeping His Eyes Closed Won't be a Problem!

Happy 67th birthday to George Lucas, creator of the Star Wars and Indiana Jones movies. Interesting alter ego on the right, but somehow I doubt that Trent really has either the stamina or the motivation to hunt down priceless artifacts and fight off Nazis.

Fanfic Update!

• Apocalyptic Diarrhea (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: It's Friday!!), by Smijey (COMPLETE!): "Daria walked up to the pharmacy counter. The clerk, whose nametag read 'Odell', smiled and asked, 'What can I do for you, miss?'"


• Beavis and Butt-head in: 7/11 and Counting (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: It's Friday!!), by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): "And in Lawndale and Boston and anywhere else she was, in a million realities, Daria Morgendorffer witnessed the events on September 11 and was left distraught. Meanwhile, back on Highland, Beavis and Butt-head were just wondering why Buzzcut had just turned on the TV to show them a disaster film."


• Daria 40k: Is It The Black Crusade, Yet?, by RX-87 (COMPLETE!): "'Hey. We're the Mystic Spiral Chaos Legion... though we're thinking of changing our name. This one goes out to all you followers of the shrunken corpse god on Terra. Hit it.'" (Part 6) (Part 7) (Part 8) (Part 9) (Part 10) (Part 11) (Part 12) (Part 13) (Part 14) (Part 15) (Epilogue)


• Daria/Dorian Ch. 15: Summertime Blues, by LadieT (part 2): "'Well, Ashfield is four hours away and I have to be there by three - so I figured we would leave about ten. Remind me to call and thank your dad for letting us use his car for the drive. If we had taken the Tank, we would have had to leave an hour ago,' Jane laughed."


• A Different Look at 1111, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 2): "Quinn stared at Sandi. She had read that copy of Waif. There was nothing about frills going out of fashion in there. 'Of course, Sandi,' she said. 'There has to be some way I can refute her claim without jeopardising my position,' she thought. Then it hit her. The weirdness of the house! She dashed to the kitchen. 'I have realised that I have to get something out of the garage,' she said."


• Doctor Who – The Many Doctors (Non-Daria), by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (prologue): "'That is not the reason we are going off course,' the Doctor said, with a disapproving tone. 'Do you know what the reason is then?' Sigrun Friorikadottir asked. 'The reason is that the TARDIS is going off course, is that it wants to go off course, remember that the TARDIS is alive, so to speak' the Doctor said."


• End of the Rope (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: It's Friday!!), by thatLONERchick (COMPLETE!): "Quinn pulled the shop door open, took a deep breath and stepped inside. She gave her best smile as she walked up to the counter and pulled a velvet bag out of her purse."


• Esteemster Series, by TheExcellentS (part 4): "Sue: (off-mic) "Are they booing me again, Dee? I can hear them booing me. These people aren't important enough to boo me! These hillbilly trash need to go back home and tend to their cows!""


• God Save The Esteem ep30: Dance Noon, by Charles RB (parts 2 and 3): "'Ha, I got sod all. Sorry.' Stacy blinked and her face took on a scowl. 'Alright bitch, here's a fucking idea: let's just, shock horror, put on some lights and music and let people do their own fucking dancing. Get some beer in and old-school Misfits, who needs to over think this?!' 'Uh.' Sandi somehow managed to take a step backwards while sitting down. 'Th-That's an interesting idea, S-Stacy...'" (Part 3)


• Hothouse Flower, by RX-87 (part 4): "'He looks kinda familiar...' She thought, but couldn't quite place him. But then, there was a lot she couldn't remember. 'Thanks.' The coach said. Tiffany doubted it was whoever she might've been thinking of when he spoke. She was sure she'd never heard that voice before."


• The Interview (Iron chef: Super Jail/ Daria crossover), by untra (COMPLETE!): "'Can I help you?' A bored Alice sighed across her desk, whilst twirling her baton. The visitor seemed different in a way, as if her lines were thicker and her disposition more serious. 'I'm here to apply for a job,' Janet Barch replied sternly. 'I have a lot of pent up anger, and I need to channel it into something productive.'"


• Life of Love (Long Story Challenge 3, Round 3), by Hyrin (COMPLETE!): "With a sigh, the man leaned down and touched Trent's forehead. The headache cleared instantly, as did his vision. 'Who are you?' Trent whispered softly. 'Well, everyone calls me Mack, but my real name' he said as he began to glow with a Heavenly light, 'is Michael. And I'm here to help you help Daria and Jane.'" (Part 3b)


• LLH Mini - 'Wind Beneath My Wings' (SFMB), by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): ""Mmmmm... ullll... hello?" "J-J-J-Janey...?" "Wind...? Hey... HEY! It's almost four in the morning!""


• Make Way for Daria (Iron Chef: Boston Crossover), by Dennis (COMPLETE!): "'Shit,' Daria said to herself. 'I'm already 45 minutes late thanks to the fucked up traffic in this city and now I can't cross the street.' Raising her voice, she said, 'What the hell is taking so long?'"


• Not So Different 20: Not Kindred Spirits, by J-D (COMPLETE!): "'That's a beautiful piece of work.' Jane smiled sunnily at Ted. 'It's a really nice thing to make for a friend.' Sonny didn't know whether Ted could detect the subtle emphasis on the last word, but he could, and he knew Jane meant him to. Well, two can play at that kind of game, he thought, and one of them's the expert."


• Not So Different 21: Hothouse Ghetto, by J-D (COMPLETE!): "Marina continued by asking Sonny about his goal, presumably on the inadequate grounds that he was sitting next to Jodie. Sonny explained that he didn't have any. Marina insisted that he must. Right, both barrels, thought Sonny. 'My goal is to avoid getting any more of the beatings which have been a regular part of my school experience until now, but without compromising my personal standards to achieve that end.' Marina giggled nervously. Sonny felt confident she wouldn't bother him again and he was right."


• Quinn of Hearts, by Kristen Bealer (part 3): "Daria paused in thought for a moment, then shrugged. 'Okay, I'll bite. What's wrong?' Quinn waved her over. 'Listen, have you ever had to spend time with people who said stupid things, but they made fun of you or thought you were weird if you tried to correct them?' Daria's expression didn't change. 'Yes. Yes, I have.'"


• Rude Awakening Ep. 4: It's That Kind of Day, by DIsaac (COMPLETE!): "(Robert is sieving with anger as he walks out then after the door closes, Jodie and Judith give each others high fives and pats on the back.) JODIE: Is that a smile on your face, Judy? JUDITH: (deadpans): I guess the bitch is dead."


• Rude Awakening Ep 5: Switching Formats, by DIsaac (part 1): "DARIA: Ahh, Cheap wine. The drink of female writers. If I was a guy I would have some beer in here. I wonder ... what if - me and Jane were guys? Would we be the same people? Well I'm a writer, so I'll write it out! (Daria walks over to the writing corner of her apartment with her computer ready)"


• Silent Melody, by Silver: "Washington- Scientists today confirmed that previously unknown forms of radiation and energy are responsible for the auroral display now referred to as 'The Erruption' this past summer. The exact properties of these new phenomena elude scientists, but there has been some reports of mutations occurring in human beings, most notably increases in physical stamina and intelligence. This has resulted in public concern over supposed Soviet 'super agents' infiltrating the US..."


• These Scarred Walls (Possible Iron Chef: Maimed/Scarred Quinn), by Jim North (COMPLETE!): "Daria stood, her expression one of conflicted emotions, her friendship with Jane and desire to protect Quinn crashing together like two ships caught in a storm. Jane noticed this and prepared to back off meekly, but she heard Quinn call out Daria's name. The elder sister balked at whatever she had been about to say, the side of her lip twitching, and a little of Jane's confidence returned. 'No, please, it's nothing like that!" she told Daria, holding her hands up in defense. "I . . . the second I saw Quinn . . . I just . . . I wanted to paint her.'"


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Boston Crossover), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "Daria was walking across the street, when she suddenly found herself accosted by a bunch of teenagers who were all wearing bright shirts with blocky horizontal stripes. They looked like a cult. 'What the hell?' Daria asked. The kids started to sing...."


• Unnamed story (Possible Iron Chef: Maimed/Scarred Quinn), by Stripey (COMPLETE!): "Beavis: Yeah, heheh, can I like, touch your thingies? Eheheh. Are they as weird as the rest of you? Tiffany: Saaaandiiii? Sandi: Here *hands Tiffany her lighter* Tiffany: Thaaanks. Iiiiii liiiike fiiiiiire."


• Where Nobody Wants to Know Your Name (Iron Chef: Boston Crossover), by Hyrin (COMPLETE!): "Daria sat at the bar, nursing her drink. Stupid hick screwed up my screwdriver again, she thought with a sigh as she sipped and tasted apple juice. A few seats over, she could hear one of the regulars yammering on about some piece of trivia, but couldn't be bothered to correct him."


• Winter Interludes, by Chris Tucker: "A few moments later, armed with suggestions, Daria was off to the cafe car. Jane leaned over the table and spoke to Connie. 'Let me bounce something off you. Daria's been through wringer these past few weeks. How about tonight, you spend the night at my place, let her have some private time with her family. What do you think?'"

Have a Hair-Raising Day!

Look out, everyone, it's Friday the 13th! Don't let any black cats cross your path or walk under any ladders or try to dye your best friend's hair with tiger stripes. You know, the usual bad luck hijinks.

In an interesting Friday the 13th-style turn, a Blogger outage delayed me from posting this for hours. Yet another omen? Hmmm.

As for fanfic, Friday the 13th (the day) appeared as a character in The Angst Guy's A Hard Days' Night, and MFC wrote a fanfic crossover with the movie Friday the 13th, H13: Hell On The 13th.

Fandom News!

• Outpost Daria has been updated! Thanks, Martin!


• GardenStateMachine is planning to get a tattoo and is looking for advice and information. Share your story!


• The original 1997 Daria promo is online! See the video in the thread.


• untra posted an essay in Deep Thoughts: Network Decay: I Don’t Want My MTV!


• Erin M. is looking for trivial assistance with cartoon sidekick characters.


• Which commercials do you find just plain old annoying?


• Five new Iron Chefs posted in the Creative Writing forum: Wassersauefer's Daria Simpsons, Pumpkin Panic's Super Jail/ Daria crossover, Temppeli's Interactive Fanfic, cfardell_Brenorenz29's Boston Crossover, and JPAGC's friggatriskaidekaphobia.

One Year Later!

Today is the first anniversary of the Official Daria DVD Release Date! Well, Region One release, anyway. Also, technically a lot of people got their DVDs before that day, but it's still an important date to recognize!

Even if some of us are still holding out for a DVD release with the original music.

Fanfic Update!

• Angry (Possible Iron Chef: Maimed/Scarred Quinn), by Wassersauefer (COMPLETE!): "People do what they like and can do best. Evil Knievel jumps with a motorbike above cars. Stan Lee draws comics. Charles Manson kills people. And I'm pretty. At least, I was. Before Dad had one drink too many before driving us home. Before the crash. Before... yeah, you got the picture."


• Ask for Slice (Possible Iron Chef: Maimed/Scarred Quinn), by Pashupati (COMPLETE!): "I first met them at the Lawndale Art Gallery, where was held an exposition called A Cultural Fashion Show, in association with Random Charities, of which Quinn was member, and the Lawndale Fashion Society, of which they were both members, to win money to make advertisements promoting A Good Look On All Sizes. The funniest part would have been the gawking when Quinn arrived at the Share Your Definition of Beauty talk. Gawks all around her face, arms and if she had worn a skirt I could tell you!"


• Between The Boards: Daria, by LadieT (COMPLETE!) : "'Ms. Li gave me the option of doing this or attending self-esteem class for the seventh time. Now, I'll have more time after school to work on my art and watch Sick, Sad World.' 'I love that show. I would come home from hockey practice and immediately turn the tv on and if we had a game, I would record it.' Jane smirked at the shorter girl, 'This looks like the start of a beautiful friendship.'"


• Books with Identifiable Covers (Possible Iron Chef: Maimed/Scarred Quinn), by Stripey (COMPLETE!): "'I'm Sandi.' The first girl said. 'Like, what happened to your eye?' Quinn fingered her eye patch for a second, surveyed the three unflinching girls, then pulled it to the side to display her empty eye socket. Sandi didn't flinch. The girl with the plaited froze and yelled 'Eep!', while the Asian girl wrinkled her nose and said 'Eew,' in a low, monotonous voice. "


• Crossing Stars, by Silver: "Her terminal started to ring, and she brought the call up without even looking. 'I'm sorry, but you've reached a wrong number.' 'Ha ha, very funny.' Her sister's voice came through. 'Are you going to bring up the video, too? Or am I wasting ISK here?' Daria turned and brought the video online. 'Okay, I'm listening.'"


• Daria 40k: Is It The Black Crusade, Yet?, by RX-87 (parts 1 - 4): "Colonel-Commissar DeMartino surveyed the motley crew of Planetary Defense Force troops, Guardsmen, Sisters of Battle and Space Marines of the redoubtable Lions Chapter who would be participating in the joint operation to eradicate the vile forces of Chaos from Lawndale. It was time for the rousing speech." (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4)


• Daria, or the Confession of a Single Lonely Male, by Arena del Sur (part 4): "I knew I had fallen in love with Daria forever; but I also knew she would not be forever Daria. She would be thirteen on November 1995. In two years or so she would cease being a wolphet and would turn into a 'young girl', and then, into a 'college girl' –that horror of horrors. The word 'forever' referred only to my own passion, to the eternal Daria as reflected in my blood."


• God Save The Esteem ep30: Dance Noon, by Charles RB (part 1): "'Hello, students – just to let you know, we're still looking for someone to head the dance committee for the school's upcoming dance! And, uh, someone to... work on the committee.' He rallied quick: 'To volunteer is to say "I care"!' 'That might explain the lack of volunteers then,' said Daria, which someone had to say."


• Hothouse Flower, by RX-87 (parts 1 - 3): "He could make out the village through the tall grass. An eclectic mix of traditional straw huts and more modern, though slapdash structures. Prefabs donated by some foreign relief agency or other, no doubt. No lights were on, though he could see a lookout patrolling about in the moonlight. Until, that is, he fell to the ground when the pointman slashed his achilles tendon. Now there was nothing to stop them." (Part 2) (Part 3)


• Inner Life (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: It's Friday!!), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "'Mack Daddy is pretty cool,' Kevin said. 'I'll bet he's thinking about the game on Friday. Mack Daddy's always got his mind on his business.' At his desk, Mack was daydreaming....."


• Jake's Night (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: It's Friday!!), by GlitterShrooms (COMPLETE!): "'Oh God,' whispered Jake as she lit up his cigar in the privacy of his own bedroom, 'How could I even possibly consider this?' He continued to pace around her bedroom. It had been almost a year since Helen had divorced his ass, and two years since Quinn left for college."


• Life After Highland Ch. 1: Rush This!, by LadieT (part 3): "The rest of that week was whirlwind of classes, fencing, work, and rush parties. Daria was feeling a bit overwhelmed. Thursday after work, she and Monique talked about when she attended Lawndale State. On Friday, Andrea, Daria, and Jane got together for pizza when Quinn came running into the Pizza King carrying her cell phone. 'Daria - mom's on the phone - it's important.'"


• Lighting the Fuse (a God Save The Esteem mini) (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: It's Friday!!), by TheExcellentS (COMPLETE!): "'Wait wait wait... so not only are you Death Rowe, but you're in the Fashion Club, as well as being a soccer goalie AND Jeffy's girlfriend?' Stacy nodded again and started to cry. Mack shook his head. 'Next you thing you know you'll probably be that paintball vigilante that's going around town.' 'Actually...'"


• Not So Different 17: 'Admit Impediments', by J-D (COMPLETE!): "'This is the kind of thing you worry about? You're a twisted little cruller, aren't you? That's why I'm proud to be your friend.' 'Thanks.' 'And as a friend, I'm glad I came along today to witness your discomfort. I know you wouldn't want me to spare you by not confirming that you do look good in a tuxedo. Don't worry, five minutes talking with you will be enough to cancel the effect. Probably only three for most people.'"


• Not So Different 18: Selling Out, by J-D (COMPLETE!): "'What did she say?' 'It's not so much the words as what was behind them. She didn't actually say “hormones running wild, teenagers out of control, young loins are hot”, but she might as well have.' 'She really doesn't know the same Sonny Morgendorffer I know, does she?'"


• Not So Different 19: Truth Meets Power; Both Lose, by J-D (COMPLETE!): "'Ms Li, I just wanted to thank you again for agreeing to help us with this project', Jane said. 'When Mr O'Neill told us he was going to assign us to make a movie, we just knew we had to tell the Lawndale High story. But how could we tell that story without you, its star?' 'I'm just pleased that you're both so keen to work on something which will honour … Lawndale High, and glad that I'm able to help you.'"


• Quinn of Hearts, by Kristen Bealer (part 2): "The other three girls in the room simply stared at Quinn. Sandi arched an eyebrow, forgetting Stacy for the moment. 'Where did that come from?' she asked suspiciously. Quinn froze. She knew exactly where it had come from: one of the many medical books she had studied after her father's heart attack. She hadn't thought any of the information had really stuck, but apparently she'd remembered at least a few things. Oh, crap. I can't tell them about that! All they'll hear is the word 'study' and it'll be all over!"


• Rude Awakening Ep. 4: It's That Kind of Day, by DIsaac (parts 7 - 9): "DARIA: I have been labeled a problem caller by the station. JANE: Is it because of your monotone? DARIA: (with a Mona Lisa smile) It was my dirty mouth about the Yankees that did me in. There are some things about the Yankees you can't say on radio – even if they are true. JANE: Daria Morgendorffer, The intelligent but belligerent sports fan. I still can't believe it." (Part 8) (Part 9)


• Save the Last Trance for Me, by jtranser: "'If you're going to mark human time by a series of progressive revelations you have to use messengers to spread the news. This usually requires the use of a prophet. I have to tell you now, Daria, if you don't select somebody to spread your Word, other people will do it for you. Especially with End Of The World prophecies. That's how we wound up with all that Rapture business, as well as a lot of other apocalyptic break dancing.'"


• Second Chance for Tommy, by Wassersauefer (part 2): "'Yo, dude, chill out,' the bald guy said and stepped up to him. Now that Tommy could see him better he seemed kind of... off. It was like he wasn't supposed to be there and yet he was, a bit too clean, a bit too white and a bit too bright. He smiled and his teeth were sparkling clean, like he was making commercials for toothpaste. 'I'm kind off your probation officer.'"


• These Scarred Walls (Possible Iron Chef: Maimed/Scarred Quinn), by Jim North (parts 1 - 3): "Manson waited, but it soon became obvious that though the girl had technically answered the question, she had no intention of actually volunteering a story. The main reason this was obvious was the fact that Quinn had pulled out a small pocket knife and started flipping it end over end between her fingers. The folded knife clacked noisily against the faux wood of the table, jarringly loud in the silence that filled the rest of the room." (Expanded part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3)


• Tridecadal, by RLobinske (COMPLETE!): "'How was your day?' 'I'll wait until you're done playing with fire and can sit down.' 'Can't be bad, you're smiling. Or, it was bad and you've already buried the body.'"


• Unnamed story (Bits & Pieces that just BEG to be made into Daria FanFic), by Ixmythot (COMPLETE!): "The solo continued, shifting between melancholic and low, to fast paced and frantic, full of energy, the man's position changing with every minute, from atop the speakers, to simply beside them, to raising the guitar over his head, to hunching over it as if to protect it from the crowd. Eventually though, the song finally ended, and with a mighty scream, the man brought the guitar down over the speaker with a savage blow, causing the guitar to shatter, and the speaker to erupt, wiring and plastic flying everywhere."


• Unnamed story (Bits & Pieces that just BEG to be made into Daria FanFic), by Trscroggs (COMPLETE!): "The forest clearing was quite and empty of everything. Then without anything as trite as a flash of light or a strange sound, the clearing was occupied by a lone figure. Calling it a figure would not do it just, however, for this person was clad from head to toe in white armor that would have a sci-fi writer drooling."


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Unlikely Team-Ups), by RX-87 (COMPLETE!): "'Wow, way to look inconspicuous.' 'Can the sarcasm, kid. With my son's taste in women I've seen more than enough snarky lolitas for one lifetime. Do you have the stuff?'"


• Unnamed story (Possible Iron Chef: Maimed/Scarred Quinn), by Erin M. (COMPLETE!): "'You know, Daria,' Jane said, as the three of them walked home from the last day of school, eager to start summer vacation,'I have to be honest with both of you. I DID kind of have an ulterior motive in talking to you the first day you were here.'"


• Unnamed story (Possible Iron Chef: Maimed/Scarred Quinn), by RLobinske (COMPLETE!): "She smiled and went to her room, unlocking the door. Inside, Fran saw a tiny, thin girl, dressed all in black, sitting on a bed. She was facing away and sorting through a suitcase.. Her red hair fell to the bed and spread out a foot around her. Fran smiled and said, 'Hi, I'm Fran Lawrence.'"


• Wait (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: It's Friday!!), by Jim North (COMPLETE!): "'Behave yourself for the nice gentlemen, honey, and if they don't behave themselves, remember you're wearing reinforced toe boots!' Helen waved, then she, Quinn, and Jake were all gone before Daria could tell them she had been kidding. She looked up as one of the big, sweaty, hairy moving men walked up to her. 'If you're going to serial murder me,' she told him, 'please have the decency to bury me deep enough that the coyotes can't get at my bones.'"


• Worldburner Finale: The Heart of the Matter, by Erin M. (part 1): "There was another flash and a column of red light, tinged with black rose from the pedestal and formed itself into a large ring. An image appeared of a handsome middle aged woman clad in a blue robe and long golden cloak. NegaJane's eyes widened. 'Holy shit, boss! Isn't that the same kind of cloak the Order--' Judith held up a hand, cutting off her lieutenant, not taking her gaze off the projection. The woman took a deep breath and began to speak."