Saturday, June 25, 2011

"Um, from here it looks like exactly a box."


It was ten years ago today that "Boxing Daria," the last regular episode of Daria, aired. It was a much more serious episode than usual, not only because it dealt with Daria's difficulties as a child but also because it included more dramatic elements like her near-accident in the car and her serious talk with Jane afterward (which started with an unusual--for Daria--hug).

It did have its moments of humor, though. Jane's "I need some chocolate. Unauthorized chocolate," and Quinn's "Stupid freaking carton...hard freaking labor...I'm only freaking human! How much can one freaking girl take? Even an enormously freaking popular one...." lines still make me laugh. Also, having the "herd of beautiful wild ponies running free across the plains" bit come full circle was a nice touch.

A few fanfic writers have done stories that deal with the events of the episode in different ways:


While you enjoy those, I'll update the latest fanfic!

  • The Blood of Doves (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: It's Friday!!), by thatLONERchick (part 1): "Trent was racing through the light midday traffic seemingly at random while Stacy kept a careful eye on the rear view mirror. She still held the waiter’s gun in her right hand, and she absently ran her thumb over its smooth surface as she thought. There should be...four shots left, she concluded as she finished counting off how many rounds she’d spent. She studied the gun, a standard glock, fifteen shots in the clip. It wasn’t anything like what she’d have picked up normally, but then there was that whole saying about beggars and choosers."

  • Boxing Ms. Morgendorffer, by Chris Tucker (part 5): "Papers that were due Monday were due Monday. Death, your own or a family member or being burned out of your dorm room were just about the only excuses Daria would accept for the temporary delay in handing in a required paper. That Tuesday, one of the more aggressively dumb doofuses tried the 'My computer crashed' excuse."

  • Daria is Raven's Apprentice, by project pegasus: "Daria: (grabbing the entire contents of the closet and stuffing them in her blazer pocket with one stealthy motion) Done. Raven: How did you...? Daria: You still have much to learn, my Apprentice." (New part)

  • Daria, or the Confession of a Single Lonely Male, by Arena del Sur: "Why you don't come to me?, why I can't love you?, why you don't come to me? Why you don't change like the sun?, why you are so aloof? why you don't change like the sun? I feel alone and confused at the same time, analysts can't understand. I don't know what I can say, I don't know what more do I do. Everybody's crazy and I not daring to see you. But if I insist, I know good I got you."

  • Five Minutes to Midnight - 11:55, by untra (parts 1 - 3): "We had reached our new home only yesterday, but we had spent most of the day unpacking. Most of my stuff was still in the large cardboard box I had brought with me. I never had a chance to unpack my own few things. The school year was already two weeks in, but both me and my sister were nearly set to reenter the public school system." (Part 2) (Part 3)

  • Happy Quinn Meets the Kitten of Awesomeness, by Jim North (COMPLETE!): "Nothing could possibly spoil her day. It could only get better. And indeed it did." (Added part by ticknart)

  • Homeless Daria Episode 2: You Invited This On Yourself, by RX-87 (parts 1 - 3): "'What? Wait, have you been drawing me?' Daria said, more surprised than irritated. 'Yeah. I wanted to have something to remember you by when you finally decide to ditch the gutterpunk life and settle down with a nice accountant or maybe a dental hygienist in the burbs and pop out 2.3 children.' Jane laughed." (Part 2) (Part 3)

  • The House of Cards, by Doggieboy (part 5): "'I want you back, Scarlett,' he said and stared at the water’s surface, 'even if you and your friends did try to kill me. After all, I do understand why you did it. It doesn’t matter - I still want you back.'"

  • Id, by Smijey (part 1): "She evaluated the Ugly Thing dispassionately (not that She was capable of passion in the first place). Her first thought was that Its skull resembled the paddle of an oar, and She idly wondered if She scraped the skin off Its face whether it would be a wooden oar or a plastic one."

  • Is It Ours Yet?, by RX-87 (part 2): "'Woah!' Brittany piped up, 'Any game inspired by a creepy old cave must be really gloomy and depressing! I don't know if I want to play this...' The man muttered something under his breath that nobody could quite make out, but may have contained the words 'More perceptive than she looks...' He quickly cleared his throat and returned to form, 'Oh, but it's quite exciting, I assure you. You see, how it works is that each of you gets to take a turn piloting a giant robot!' He said with a flourish."

  • Lamb’s Lament (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: It's Friday!!), by thatLONERchick (COMPLETE!): "I sighed. Suddenly I just wanted to sleep. Yeah, I never slept well. I always had these dreams.... But no matter how late you stay up, you gotta sleep sometime, you know? And before I could even do that much, I had to fish the glass outta my face, arms and legs, shower and wash the blood outta my hair. Do you have any idea how fuckin’ unpleasant it is to have blood in your hair? Especially when it’s long. Well, it’s fuckin’ hell. Sometimes shampoo just won’t do the trick, and I have to use turpentine." (Part 2)

  • Not So Different 51: What's Going On Here?, by J-D (COMPLETE!): "It had been awkward for her at the beginning, when Sonny had made it quite clear that he didn’t like Tom and didn’t like Jane’s involvement with him. But gradually he’d warmed to Tom. Well, not exactly ‘warmed’. That wasn’t Sonny’s style. Still, in his own way he was getting along with Tom. That should make things easier for her. But ..."

  • Not So Different 52: Surprise!, by J-D (COMPLETE!): "‘Fine. But if you’re breaking up with my best friend, Tom Sloane, then we’ve got nothing to talk about and no reason even to be in the same space.’ Sonny started to get out of the car. Tom reached out a hand, put it on Sonny’s shoulder, and said, ‘Wait.’"

  • Quinn's Code 03: Cafe Geekdale, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 4): "'Come on. Do it for Friendship,' Jennifer said. 'Maybe,' Jane said. 'Then do it for the opportunity to look inside people's houses and find out what screwed-up tastes they have,' Daria suggested. Jane perked up. 'I'm bringing a Polaroid!'"

  • Riding in Cars With Boys, by thatLONERchick (COMPLETE!): "Mediocre music was played. Yet another group of random guys surrounded the two girls, who were by now more incoherent than impressed. Daria closed her eyes and took deep breaths in attempt to stop her head from spinning. She had not drunk enough to get her even tipsy, yet she was without a doubt knocked for a loop. Jane giggled beside her, obviously wasted, and Daria began to worry."

  • Stacy Rowe, Seeker, by jtranser: "'Look, Dammit! I'm a vampire!!! Do I need to spell it for you? V-A-M-P-I-R-E!!! Got that?!! I'm supposed to be filming a furniture commercial aimed at the upscale vampire market, right?!! You know that?! Then what the hell am I doing in a cheap packing crate? Where is my coffin? No! This is NOT a coffin!!! Look! It says it's a sofa crate shipped from Taiwan! It's says so right on the side! And so where is my ebony coffin with the hand rubbed finish and expensive silk satin lining? The one that's stipulated in my contract? Huh? Huh?! WHERE IS IT?!!...'"

  • The True Hollywood Story of Daria Morgendorffer, by DIsaac (parts 1 - 5): "An icon of the 90's and on two shows that were landmarks of the decade. But off the screen who was she really?" (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5)

  • Two Halves: Chapter 6 - Role Models, by Dark Kuno (part 6): "'Now, dahling, what could possibly be your objection?' asked Romonica as she moved towards Alex and Quinn and cast a critical glance towards the taller boy. 'You do like boys, don't you?' 'Well of course I like boys. But they'd have to dress a lot better than he does. I mean basic black is pretty much a universal neutral, but those gaudy glasses would have to go, or maybe a slimmer frame or something, and he'd have to have a nice car, oh and like, not be my brother and stuff,' rambled Quinn."

  • Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: It's Friday!!), by RX-87 (COMPLETE!): "He wondered, idly, if he should have felt guilty about what had happened. If he hadn't enjoyed the softness of her body so much, if he hadn't been so eager to indulge her cravings, perhaps she'd still be with him. Kidney Failure was what it said on the death certificate. In truth, it could have been any number of things. Perfection always has its price."

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