But Remember: Quinn Doesn't Slow Dance Until After the Fifth Date!

Happy International Dance Day! Daria and the Lawndale Lion are getting into the spirit--okay, one of them is, anyway--so why don't you? Ms. Li might be celebrating as well, as she reminisces about her brief career as a dancer. And let's not think too much about that one, okay?

Fandom News!

• Check out Brother Grimace's photo caption contest and post your own entry!


• NapalmKracken is visiting Japan and is sharing lots of photos.


• Share your thoughts on an essay about The Green Modernist.


• Sabertooth wants to know if there is any way to get the Daria novels online.


• Join the discussion about godparents and the Morgendorffers started by Ranger Thorne.


• Greystar posted a new Iron Chef in the Creative Writing forum: What did you do during the War of The Worlds?

Two Years Ago...There Was Much Rejoicing!

Today is the anniversary of the day fans first began receiving their Daria DVD sets in 2010. Woo hoo! It's been two years, and fandom has only kept growing since that day. Welcome, new fans!

Fanfic Update!

• Andrea's Tears, by BrownEyedBagel (part 4): "It’s hard to look back at it all now. The day I left, the things I’ve seen, none of it prepared me for what I would find when I came back. I really thought I was ready to take it all back. I was stronger and more confident, I had everything in line, and I had someone other than myself to fight for. Brandy made me stronger. There wasn’t a god damn thing I couldn’t do. Well...except for predict this anyway."


• Birthday Surprise Mini - The Bank, by DeacBlue (COMPLETE!): "Daria and Jane walked into the bank, Jane rubbing Daria's back. 'Dammit, Jane, all this crap is giving me the mother of all migraines.' She rubbed her head. Too bad this is too much to fit in the mattress.'"


• Daria - Double Down, by neonhomer (part 36): "'Sup?' asked Jane as she was tossing covers off the bed looking for the remote. She found it on the floor and pointed it towards the TV to turn it on. 'Not much. Uhh... Me and Tristan want to go with Trent and Daria.' Said Tilly. She could hear something clatter to the floor. 'Jane?' 'Run that by me again?' 'Me... Tristan... date.' Said Tilly. 'That’s what I thought you said.' Said Jane, picking the remote back up."



• Daria, in "X-ed", by Aloysius (COMPLETE!): "Daria lowered her newspaper enough to look at the businessman at the next table, her eyes narrowed. He seemed to be in his own world. Well, him and his cell phone. He was not only oblivious to her, but to the other patrons who looked at him with varying degrees of disgust and horror. We’re just a part of the furniture to this moron, she thought. I’ll give him a chance to tone it down...before I act."


• Dylan, by J-D (part 4a): "To the rhythm of a ghostly trumpet playing 'Pop Goes The Weasel' in his mind’s ear, Dylan marched in to see FitzPatrick and volunteer. FitzPatrick naturally adopted the most disgusting interpretation, that Dylan wanted to perform at the coffeehouse, perhaps by reading one of his essays. Dylan wasn’t that far gone yet. He explained that he’d been thinking more of helping to raise the funding."


• Ethan Yeager in Lawndale: Ch2 Ye Olde Madness, by Shiva (parts 1 - 3): "'You know if she just hawked some of the unused security equipment she’d have enough money for two new libraries.' Ethan said just loudly enough for the entire room to hear him. 'But that’s crazy talk,' Daria added, cutting into the silence, 'Because without that new polygraph machine how would she sniff out the Body Snatchers?' 'We have Body Snakes?!' Kevin asked in panic. Britney did everyone a favor by hitting him." (Part 2) (Part 3)


• Hell is Crossed People, by Aloysius (COMPLETE!): "Daria Morgendorffer had heard the stories, but until she actually seen some of the...events, until they actually happened in Lawndale itself, she hadn’t really believed them. How could anyone normal believe that anything like this happening?"


• Lawndale and Sandi Griffin’s Genie (Chapter 7), by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 2): "'Um, something has appeared to the south of here. It looks like it could be a mountain of ice-cream.' 'Ice cream?' Daria asked incredulously. 'Well, either that or mashed potato.' 'I’ll have a look.'"


• Lawndale School of Magic Part Two: Brittany's Party, by Reven384 (part 3): "No one noticed the door open, but they’d soon know who it was that was coming through the door. Upchuck smiled as he entered the party unnoticed. Time to crash the party. 'Hello ladies and gentlemen,' he yelled over the noise, 'It’s me. I’m here to entertain the lot of you with impressive feats of magic. Hello Brittany miss me?'"


• The Mageborn Cynic : Daria & the School of Magic, by peetz5050 (part 10a): "'Out with it.' 'My sister has some friends over too, we can go to my room afterward but we'll have to eat with them, sorry.' 'Don't fret about it, half the families in Lawndale owe my Father money so I'll just eyeball them and make them uncomfortable.' She grinned evilly. Daria looked at her with a sardonic smile 'OK, now I know why you were in Parity of Esteem class.'"



• Operation: Double Deep Cover (Iron Chef: Waking Up Melody), by BrownEyedBagel (COMPLETE!): "She got out of the shower and hurriedly dried herself off. She found her target a few months ago. Timothy O’Neil was about as red as they came. His small display outside the school saying that the Communist was the ultimate team player was not a good choice of words. Mr. O’Neil was a dead man; he just didn’t know it yet."


• A Resentful Cynic Ch. 3 The Curse of Middleton, by ST91 (parts 1 - 3): "Heck, Sometimes it is annoying to be always right. Daria thought before saying, 'Mom I don’t need to attend a college prep course. My 4.0 GPA will be enough to get me into a good college.' 'Maybe yes, Daria, but if you don’t get into a decent school your life will be ruined.' Oh, you don’t need to worry about that mom; you, Dad and Quinn have already done plenty to ruin my life. Daria thought." (Part 2) (Part 3)


• Runaway Daria: Fallout Lawndale Edition, by Vukodlak (part 5): "In a few more hours her little brother or sister would be born. The idea of a little sister brought back memories of Quinn and the family she left behind years ago and a deep nagging fear she’d be left alone and abandoned. And in her mind a biological daughter had an obvious edge over an adoptive one."


• Sandi :: Well... This Sucks :: Chapter 16, by Fhujeth_x (part 2): "'Trent!' Jesse called behind him, 'I think this girl scout wants to sell you cookies.' He walked into the house leaving the door open, 'What kind should we get?' 'Get me three boxes of Samoas!' An unfamiliar voice shouted out from the background, 'Oh, and a box of Tagalongs!' Quinn grew frustrated quickly, as she had come to ask Trent about something as insane as werewolves and mythology, and not be thought of as a girl scout, 'I'm not a freaking girl scout, alright!'"


• WaM, Ma'ams, Dark Paladin, by DeacBlue (part 3): "Daria sat up, stretched, and got out of bed, where she saw Jane at the vanity, reading. 'This Mike Harmon is just a little bit twisted, isn't he?' she remarked as Daria kissed her good morning. 'I mean, besides being this rough, tough soldier type, besides being more than a little into bondage and girls half his age, he's got one hell of a hard-on for his universe's analog of Bush the Younger, and a heck of a dislike for the guy who signed most of his checks, Clinton.'"


• We Are Spyticus (Iron Chef: Waking Up Melody), by TheExcellentS (COMPLETE!): "'...the buses were headed for Jim's Paintballing Jungle when a drunk driver heading in the opposite direction swerved in their lane. Fortunately there were no fatalities, but there are reports of severe concussions to several students on both buses...'"


• Unnamed story (IC : Daria and the School of Magic), by Waylander (prologue): "This time the cards weren’t dealt in his favor. He wasn't the ruler of the United Kingdom of Ireland, Scotland and Wales, hero of the Second Battle of Hastings. IHe wasn't ship tycoon and philanthropist from Portland. He wasn't world’s famous comedian. He was just Artie Simmons, pizza delivery guy. Nothing special, except for knowing what could have been."

No Hug? No Worries!

Today is Hug an Australian Day, so find an Australian and hug them! Daria would like to firmly remind everyone that she is not actually Australian, and therefore there is no need to hug her. At all. Please. On pain of death. Thank you.

Today is also the 26th anniversary of the infamous Chernobyl disaster, one of the worst nuclear accidents in history. Thirty-one people died as a direct result of the accident, but the deaths caused indirectly by the event number at least in the tens or even hundreds of thousands.

Fandom News!

• MartinUK is preparing for his trip to Spain. Post your good wishes and demands for pictures now!


• yogSothoth wants to know if anyone can make a Dariacon in Sioux Falls, SD?


• Why did Big Band music die? Talk about it in a new Deep Thoughts thread.


• Erin M. posted part 1 of a two-part review of He-Man and the Masters of the Universe.


• Two new Iron Chefs have been posted in the Creative Writing forum: ThanatosRW's Raising Rita and Grifter74's Waking Up Melody.


• Roentgen wonders if fans could put together an "Esteemsters" Uncut movie.


• Wouter posted an art Iron Chef in The Easel: 15 years of Daria.

Apparently Feathers Have Now Become the Current Neutral

Happy World Penguin Day! I'm not sure that's quite the right look for Sandi, but I guess you can't go wrong with formalwear. If you don't know why penguins are relevant to this fandom, then you really haven't been here very long!

Today is also Anzac Day for Australia and New Zealand, commemorating those who served and died in military service--particularly in Battle of Gallipoli.

Fanfic Update!

• Abbatoir Blues: The Hitman and Her, by LongSnakeMoan (part 1): "I look down the alley were the voices came from. Some low rent hood is grappling with a struggling woman, the kind of guy who thought dealing a bit of weed entitled him to slap girls around. She's giving as good as she gets though, aiming punches at his face and chest, and it looks like she's winning. Until he moves suddenly and punches her hard in the stomach. She crumples to the ground and at that point I've had enough."


• At the Crossroads...(Chapter 9), by oni (part 1): "Once Sandi was seated into the front passenger seat, she pulled out her cell phone and called Tiffany's number. Just getting the girl's voice message, Sandi turned her cell phone off and let out a sigh. Helen looked over at the brunette worried, before turning the car on. 'I'm sure she's ok,' Helen said, trying to sound reassuring. Even as she said that though, Helen knew that she had come to the same conclusion that Sandi had. That conclusion was the strange coincidence that they haven't heard or seen Tiffany since the attack."


• Being Melody (Iron Chef: Waking Up Melody), by Grifter74 (part 1): "Melody sat down on the bed drying her hair, while thinking about the situation. Nothing was adding up. She had walked away from the accident with only a small bump on her head, but was it really an accident or had someone tried to kill or capture her. She remembered a mission to Paris, the mess in Cuba, and several other missions, but nothing about why she was in Maryland."


• The Cats Will Play, by RLobinske (part 3): "The sound of the door lock overruled all curiosity in the felines. Being closer, Sissy climbed down the boxes to the floor. Once Sissy was clear, Bump jumped down to the midpoint of the stacked boxes and in the process, catching the handle of a small shopping back around her neck. The contents fell away to the carpet and the sudden weight frightened Bump. 'It's got me!' she yowled."


• A Distant Lawndale (Part Two), by Arena del Sur (part 4): "I felt all the sadness and loneliness of the man in that hug. When I noticed the thinness of his body squeezed against mine, I felt a deep anguish. God, it was so painful... 'Please... forgive me, please...' Smoothly, without realizing it, I hugged him too, moved..."


• Ethan Yeager in Lawndale: Ch1 Ethan Yeager Rising, by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "'Groceries... groceries...' Kevin said to himself before exclaiming, 'Oh I remember now! You were with Daria and Jane, your Ethan right?' 'Yeah.' 'Cool, well you should know that there's another new kid in school called Ethan who everyone says is a gay Trekkie and beat up Rex before lunch.'" (Part 5) (Part 6)


• The Mageborn Cynic, by peetz5050 (parts 8 and 9): "'Quinn!' She called out 'I'm sorry but you'll have to come in our carriage with me, Father sent for us.' 'But I wanted to go to Stacy's house, we were going to...' 'Quinn' Daria interrupted 'Maman is at home.' Quinn colored a little then recovered. Excusing herself from her friends she joined Daria in her carriage with unladylike haste and said 'Let's go!'" (Part 9)


• Resentful cynic ch. 2 No party . No problem, by ST91 (COMPLETE!): "Daria was about to say something but was interrupted by the sound of broken pots. The three girls looked towards the noise and saw that it was caused by the three idiots competing for Quinn. In a vain attempt to win her favors, Joey, Jeffy and Jamie were hitting each other while Quinn, sitting on the stairs, was enjoying the show . 'Just a second.' Daria said, before taking a photo of the fight in progress with the camera she had been carrying all evening. 'OK. Now we can go.' Daria said as she walked toward the exit followed by her two friends."


• Runaway Daria: Fallout Lawndale Edition, by Vukodlak (part 4): "'Your mother wants us to spend more quality time together before the baby is born.' Jack cast his hefty looking fishing pole the kind you'd expect for catching swordfish or some other pre-war giant sized ocean dwelling fish. He cast the lure back into the water and slowly started reeling it in again. 'That doesn't involve survival or weapons training.' He added before Daria could suggest doing something else."


• Sandi :: Well... This Sucks :: Chapter 15, by Fhujeth_x (COMPLETE!): "Quinn sucked up her pride, calling her sister wasn't a bad thing, it was just a thing, after all... and no one had to know she was calling her, but what was her sister going to think when she asked what she was going to ask. 'Daria? I think Sandi is a werewolf.' Swallowing hard she braced herself for the massive-flaming her sister was about to place onto her." (Part 4)


• Sandi :: Well... This Sucks :: Chapter 16, by Fhujeth_x (part 1): "Staring at his younger brother outside on the stairs, Sam Griffin held up a handful of what seemed like ordinary pocket change, 'If this works. Then we'll know Sandi is a werewolf.' Grinning, he cracked open his sister's door, 'Hey Sis!!' He walked over to his older sister who had been staring somewhat vacantly at herself in the mirror. 'I need some singles for the arcade! Can I swap ya some change?'"



• Snow White and the Seven Dwarves, by Sandi Griffin, by virtualstar (COMPLETE!): "One day before heading out on a date the Queen asked the mirror 'Mirror Mirror on the wall, I'm the cutest girl in Lawndale this fairytale place, right?' And to the Queen's total horror, the mirror said 'no, actually there is this new girl called Qui- I mean Snow White who is too cute!'"


• To Annoy a Mockingbird. Chapter 05, by BF110C4 (part 6.2): "'You haven't opened Upchuck present? Good, don't do it yet, just bring it here so we can share.' Jane voice turned serious for a second. 'I mean it Daria Morgendorffer; if you don't open it here in front of me there is going to be bloody revenge.' Daria suddenly had a bad feeling about the whole matter, however she knew Jane's tone of voice, and if that present was opened for even a little peek she might as well sleep with an eye open all night."


• Unnamed story (IC: Raising Rita), by OverlordMikey (parts 1 and 2): "She walked up to her sister’s coffin. Helen looked so peaceful; it almost made Rita want to smile to see her like this. Her only wish being that Helen and her had a better relationship. Rita sighed and looked around and the few people here. Her mother didn’t show; nor did Amy. Rita looked at Quinn and Daria; Quinn looked so upset and Daria looked more morose than usual." (Part 2 by GlitterShrooms)


• WaM, Ma'ams, Dark Paladin, by DeacBlue (parts 1 and 2): "'Jen, Jane! Come down to the fourth floor!' In a few minutes, both of her wives had joined her. 'So what's up?' asked Jen. 'Yeah, besides you destroying the house,' snarked Jane. 'You know how there was an area on this floor that we couldn't get to? Well, you're standing in front of it. I decided that I was going to break down a bit of the wall, and see what they were hiding.'" (Part 2)

But Just Look at Those Adorable Dimples!

Happy birthday to Shirley Temple, born on this day in 1928. The former child star was cute as a button, and so is Jane in her alter ego. But don't tell her that--judging by her expression, it might get you killed.

What do you want to bet that the Guptys are all huge fans of Shirley Temple's movies? Although I'm sure they'd never support the consumer culture by buying any of them on DVD.

Fandom News!

• DIsaac is planning a new project, 67 Daria episodes, 67 Days.


• Discuss the Crossed comics in a new Weapons of Mass Distraction thread.


• Two new Iron Chefs have been posted: Shiva's A Daria Game of Thrones and Brother Grimace's '___ and The Alleged Car!'


• Talk about Crusading_Saint's fanfic Griffin's Flight in the Golden Oldies forum.


• dulcinea asks, what is the name of this story?

At Least We Know the Earth's Atmosphere Could Support the Process of Carbonation

Happy Earth Day! I suppose the environmentally-friendly, ecological-awareness aspect of the day is kind of lost when the globe appears to be shaped like a soda can, but it's what I have to work with. Just pretend it's what will happen to the planet if you don't start using recycled paper!

Fanfic Update!

• Andrea's Tears, by BrownEyedBagel (part 3): "The noise of the train almost drowns out my thoughts. I really thought I had it all figured out back in Lawndale. Turns out, I didn’t know a god damn thing. Running away from a stable family with a kid on the way wasn’t exactly the best idea I ever had; but it was exactly what I needed. I met myself. Or rather I met who I wanted to be."


• Armored Cynic Daria, Episode 2: The 8th Circuit, by RX-87 (part 2): "ARMALIN: I really think you're overreacting here, Governor. In spite of the heavy losses the defense force took, civilian casualties were minimal and we didn't lose any major strategic objectives. ATBE: Minimal? Minimal?! Oh, that's right, I forgot who I'm talking to. What is it they used to call you back in Cydonia? Major Bodycount? ARMALIN: Hey, if the brass hadn't pulled me outta there when they did, we wouldn't be in this shit!"


• Birthday Surprise, Christmas Mini, by DeacBlue (COMPLETE!): "The fourteen foot tall Christmas tree stood in the thirty foot tall loft portion of the hundred year old farmhouse, where Daria and Jane Lane were addressing their families. 'We wanted to thank you all for your gifts,' Daria said. 'And, even more, we wanted to thank you for celebrating with us a week early, so that we could go on our honeymoon cruise and make it back in time for classes.' Jane smiled. 'And now it's time for our gifts to you.'"


• Clique Swap, by psychotol (part 33): "Quinn: 'Okay, get some rest before we start moving again.' All three: float asleep. Several minutes later. All three: Wake up. Quinn: 'Oh, not Sith.' Cameraman: 'Who aren’t Sith?' Quinn: 'Ship that just arrived,' floats over to the pilot’s seat."



• Ethan Yeager in Lawndale, by Shiva (parts 1 - 3): "'No offence Quinn, you are cute and all but I prefer guys.' Ethan stated, doing a good job of maintaining his normal voice, but Daria heard the slight crack at the last words, the hints of uncertainty of and fear at revealing this to them. For a minute it seemed as if Quinn hadn’t heard him, but then his words registered in her largely unused brain. 'Chez Pierre is soooo beautiful.... What?!'" (Part 2) (Part 3)


• Flynn at 1111 Glen Oak (Crossovers Still Crossing Over), by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 5): "'Hi, Phineas, we need your help! Our sister was kidnapped by a Robot!' Sam said. 'We can help,' Phineas thought, and turned to his stepbrother. 'Ferb, I know what else we’re doing today.' 'Excellent!'"


• Lawndale School of Magic Part Two: Brittany's Party, by Reven384 (part 2): "Charles fingered the invitation in his hands. The best way to do things were to set things up so that you win no matter what happens. He smiled. It was clever of Brittany to hire someone to enchant the party. Only those with invitations could get in. He smiled. He had a party to ruin. The fact that Daria would also be there would only make things more interesting."


• The Mageborn Cynic, by peetz5050 (part 7): "Just then a bell rang. 'What's that one for?' she asked. 'Five minutes to get washed up before next class.' he answered. Daria noticed many of the students had already left. She looked sadly at her half-eaten lunch and shook her head. Then she went and helped a weeping Jodie out of her seat and walked her past a mystified Charles in the direction of the ladies convencience. 'It was nice to meet you Charles, we shall speak again, good afternoon.'"


• The Prep, the Artist and the Loner , by Walter Kovacs (part 4): "Finally, after several moments, Brittany turned to her table-mate. 'Jane, you're really good at art. Could you show me how to do this?' Usuauly, Jane would have blown off such a request with a typical dose of sarcasm, but this time, the fact that she got flattered by Brittany got the better of her."


• Sandi :: Well... This Sucks :: Chapter 15, by Fhujeth_x (part 2): "'So I rule that fur is a big no for the winter season. However--' Just then, like magic, Kristen appeared on Sandi's bed, impatiently, evilly, glancing at the fashion club president with dismay, 'Are you Sandi Griffin, I've got a message that you need to give to Janet Barch...' She grinned evilly."



• A Small Trip (IRON CHEF - '___ and The Alleged Car!'), by JPAGC (COMPLETE!): "'Not so bad?! Daria, I come from a long day at work, after having told you to take care of your sister, to find her locked in her room, crying and refusing even to open the door' Helen crossed her arms over her chest and stared down the girls. 'I know Quinn had a meeting with those fashion friends of her on the mall. I told you to drive her there. Did you refuse to do it?' 'No, No, Mom! Believe me, we did take her to the mall...' Daria hesitated. 'It's just that...'"


• Vivian, by ST91 (part 2): "The evening was very quiet. Steve was out for a business meeting. Brittany was sleeping in her room, and Brian had finally fallen asleep. After putting him in the crib, Vivian went to her bedroom. She was very tired and weak because lately she could not sleep. Despite this she was also very happy because soon would arrive a taxi that would take her to the airport. Finally she would be away from home, away from Lawndale."


• The Wake, by OverlordMikey (part 1): "Daria’s eyes opened; bright florescent lights in her eyes? Where did Jane go? Her heart was practically jumping out of her chest and her body felt tense and stone like. She was breathing heavier than she’d ever recalled."

I'll Bet He Didn't Even Inhale!

It's 4/20, everybody! Smoke 'em if you got 'em! It may look like Trent's way ahead of us, but I'm sure he's just naturally laid back. Really. (cough)

Anyway, today is also Volunteer Recognition Day, so this would be a good time to celebrate Awareness of Others Week by signing up for an extracurricular activity to make the world a better place. I've got my copy of Howl all ready to take to the Better Days Nursing Home, so I'm set.

Fandom News!

• Help Teeki decide what cause to support.


• Is PJ Harvey a living Jane? Check it out on the SFMB!


• Brother Grimace found some kids who Daria and Jodie could relate to.


• Roentgen asks, what is a war hero?


• LongSnakeMoan has made a polite request for a beta reader. Can you help?

Think Coyote and Willow Will Celebrate This One?

Today is Bicycle Day! In spite of Daria's physical exertion, the day doesn't celebrate bikes but rather the first intentional use of LSD in the early days of its discovery. Hey, I wonder if an argument could be made that Daria's bizarre dream from "Murder, She Snored" was, in reality, a rather elaborate acid trip?

Nah. We'll save that one for "Depth Takes a Holiday."

In other historical news, today marks the anniversary of the official start of the American Revolutionary War in 1775. I'm not even going to try to link that one with LSD, but you go ahead if you'd like!

Fanfic Update!

• Armored Cynic Daria, Episode 2: The 8th Circuit, by RX-87 (part 1): "SPLIT SCREEN: Close up on the faces of Daria, the Colonel and Max. ALL (in unison): Just what the hell went wrong?"


• Daria's Obsession, by BrownEyedBagel (COMPLETE!): "She let her eyes roam around the crowded subway station. She could hear the hammering of the trains, the various conversations people were having, and none of it mattered. Daria was here to find someone. Her gaze went over the scene the way a hawk looks for unwary creatures. He was in here somewhere. He had to be."


• A Distant Lawndale (Part Two), by Arena del Sur (part 3): "It must be a signal of something strange. Lately, Dad was working a lot. In the past weeks Dad used to went to work too early in the morning, before I had breakfast, and many times he had went back to home just in time to dinner. And now he carried work to home... No, it wasn't possible that Dad have an affair with another woman. He didn't have time to see her."


• God Save The Esteem ep41: Is It Fun Yet?, by Charles RB (part 9): "'You really believe this,' said Jane, and that made her feel slightly faint; they were past the point of a joke or a mistake, and Alison must have had experience with this and she wasn’t show any hint of doubt. Could she still be wrong? Jane knew people did repress their sexualities, that people could go for decades before realising the truth. And then-"


• Lawndale School of Magic Part Two: Brittany's Party, by Reven384 (part 1): "Daria, having successfully escaped her family, met up with Jane. They walked in silence for a few minutes before Jane opened her mouth. 'I am not going to Brittany’s party,' Daria said cutting Jane off. 'Come on Daria think of the artistic opportunities,' Jane said. 'I’d rather think about the effect this party could have on my mental health. Besides we are not invited. There is no chance Brittany will ever invite us,' Daria said."


• The Mageborn Cynic, by peetz5050 (part 6): "Daria went to the first empty table and sat in an end seat. As a servingman came up to her with the carte of the day she noticed the other empty tables filled up immediately, all save hers. Then she saw another girl hesitating nearby and considered her as she gave her food order. Slim, dark skinned, her black hair braided and clacking with beads, she wore a plain dark red gown, so dark as to be almost brown like those of the servants, yet she held herself rigid, somehow pushing the world away."


• Quinn's Code Story 6: The Lab Mouse, The Geek and the Convention, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 5): "'Hi, Jen. Daria, Jane? What are you doing here?' 'Her and Kevin's mouse was stolen,' Jane said. 'I suspect that it was Brittany,' Daria said. 'Brittany? I knew something of this sort would happen if Kevin was assigned to someone other than her,' Mack remonstrated as he sat down. 'So we're going to go to her house and talk to her,' Daria said."


• Rude Awakening Ep.10: Sandi vs The EPT, by DIsaac (part 7): "SANDI: (VO: Still at the door after all this time!) Are you going to let me in? My mother is driving me crazy and I can't drink due to this damn kid! DARIA: Jane, I gotta help her. I know I shouldn't but it would be interesting to see where this will go. (Daria gets up and opens the door for Sandi and she comes in) SANDI: How long were you going to keep me out there? DARIA: Not long enough."


• Sandi :: Well... This Sucks :: Chapter 15, by Fhujeth_x (part 1): "So while the football player had been so absentmindedly enamored by the TV and Kristen, the female ghost had used her skills to trap her new boyfriend in a ring of salt, mostly preset up before he had arrived. [a.n. sorry for the wording here, i hope it makes sense]. Preventing him from really getting out of the seat. Luckily for her, he hadn't noticed yet."

Poor Hammy--I Mean, Jamie!

Today is the 51st anniversary of the Bay of Pigs Invasion, which was intended to overthrow Fidel Castro but ended up not going so well. It looks like Jamie's attempt to use cheesy pick-up lines to flirt with Quinn had similarly disastrous results.

Fandom News!

• Have you tried any closed-door restaurants? What do you think of the idea?


• Join the bad science fiction discussion about crappy weapons and tactics.


• If nothing else, what has watching Daria taught you?


• Temppeli now knows why Daria felt so familiar!


• Post your Skippy list in a new thread!


• Two new Iron Chefs have been posted in the Creative Writing forum: Walter Kovacs's Landons lose their money and ThanatosRW's Racial Profiling.


• Fhujeth_x wants to read C.L. Basso's works. Can anyone help?

A Tramp with Self-Esteem

Happy birthday to the late comic actor Charlie Chaplin, born on this day in 1889. O'Neill is funny in his own way, I suppose, but he's nothing like Chaplin. For starters, Chaplin meant to make people laugh at him.

Today is also National Stress Awareness Day, to which Jake replies, "Stressed? Why do people keep telling me I'm stressed? If I weren't stressed, I'd get stressed by everyone telling me I'm stressed!" Considering today is also the day after tax returns are due in the United States, I'd say there are probably a fair number of people nationwide who are very aware of their own stress right now.

Finally, today is National Librarian Day, which I only mention because certain blogger librarians might be more than happy to accept whatever gifts and other tokens of esteem you might wish to pass along in honor of the holiday. Especially if they happen to be chocolate!

Fanfic Update!

• Birthday Surprise (Iron Chef: Daria character wins lottery prize), by DeacBlue (COMPLETE!): "'So what has dear Aunt Rita done now?' She listened. 'Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Okay.' She paused. 'Well, to be quite fair, I did say all of those things. Yes, I did. I may have told them to the world's dumbest bridesmaids, and then told them that I was lying, but I did say the words.'" (Part 12)


• The Cats Will Play, by RLobinske (part 2): "'Squirrel!' Sissy meowed as she jumped up onto on of the front window sills. A gray squirrel clung to an oak tree in the front yard and stared at the window, barking. Bump jumped up to join Sissy. 'Ah, it's Spaz Tail. I wonder if Bright Ears will show.'"


• Clique Swap, by psychotol (parts 31 and 32): "Helen: Opens the door revealing Hillary Clinton and another human in a galactic empire general uniform. Hillary: 'Is Darth Maladi here?' Helen: 'Uh, yeah ... right this way.' Walks back to the kitchen with Hillary, the empire general and the cameraman following her. Jake: 'Say, is that Hillary Clinton?' Daria: 'I have a batter question: What’s happened to my sister?'" (Part 32)


• God Save The Esteem ep41: Is It Fun Yet?, by Charles RB (part 8): "The audience descended on the venue, like a great wind had blown through a particularly smelly rubbish dump. Piercings and dyed hair and leather and body odour abounded, and three friendly fights had already broken out. And out went DeMartino onto the stage, seeing all the glass bottles in the front row and his mind screaming that he better get this right, he had only one shot at this-"


• Going out for a Pizza (Iron Chef: Getting Ready for the End of the World), by Doggieboy (COMPLETE!): "The two teens jogged up to the Buick's driver's door and looked inside the window. Daria asked, 'Ma'am, are you...' Then she gawked and stared at the inside of the car. 'Whoa,' Jane said. 'Where the hell is she?' Where the elderly woman had sat behind the wheel, there only remained a light blue dress, a slightly darker blue jacket, a hat, a set of false teeth and a pair of glasses. A rubber-tipped stainless steel cane and a large-print copy of the Bible sat on the passenger seat."


• The Hallowed Bungholes (Scenes That Should Be: Breakfast of Zombie Champions), by Walter Kovacs (COMPLETE!): "Two young men in poorly fitting blazers were sitting in an auditorium watching a stern elderly gentleman lecture on about the school's honor and dignity. As was usual for those two distinguished gentlemen both would rather be watching MTV than being there."


• Lawndale School of Magic Part One: The New Kids, by Reven384 (COMPLETE!): "After Stacy left Quinn walked over to Sandi, 'What did you want to talk to me about?' 'Yes if we are to continue hanging out then I feel I must be honest. My family line traces itself back to the Dark Lady Griffin,' Sandi said waiting for the fireworks. 'So I’m Mad Dog Morgendorffer’s grandchild,' Quinn said, 'I’m surprised you told me though. I go out of my way to avoid letting anyone know who my grandfather was.'" (Part 5)


• The Mageborn Cynic, by peetz5050 (parts 4 and 5): "Daria studied the man as he berated his less-than-prepared students. The colored threads on his collar, which meant nothing and were virtually invisible to anyone less than an Archmage, were predominantly silver, which meant he was a farseer, which also meant he would have spent the mandatory ten years in the military. That would account for what happened to his eye." (Part 5


• No Esteem (IC: DeMartino and Jake swapped), by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): "'Girls, I realise it's not easy to move to a new town,' said her mother, giving nervous glances to the rearview mirror, 'but this does look nicer, doesn't it? The school seems a lot safer too, none of the- well, you know. Rough kids.' Well, we haven't arrived yet, have we?"


• A Resentful cynic ch. 2 No party . No problem, by ST91 (part 6): "While he and Jodie were walking to his Jeep, Mack asked, 'Will you accept Daria’s offer?' 'I don’t know. It depends if my parents will give me permission.' 'Jodie, please don't lie to me. You don't want to go because of Jane.' 'What ? Come on Mack don't make me laugh.' Jodie said. 'Jodie.' Mack said in a tone that brooked no argument."


• Rude Awakening Ep.10: Sandi vs The EPT, by DIsaac (part 6): "BRITTANY: Teddy, we aren't changing the subject now. What do you mean I have anger problem, Ted? TED: You tend to overreact, sometime physically, to things. BRITTANY: I don't overreact... as much as I did in high school... or in college... or with that job in Houston... or Miami... or Memphis... or Philadelphia... or Columbus... or Los Angeles... (pause) I'm not making a good case for myself right now, aren't I? TED: I wouldn't take that second career as a lawyer."


• To Annoy a Mockingbird. Chapter 05, by BF110C4 (part 6.1): "'Good morning Miss Morgendorffer, I am Doctor Amelia Northman, right now we are going to start with a physical exam, I already had Dr. Nicholson and Dr. Wheeler fax me your medical files,' ‘Both our old family doctor and gynecologist’ Daria added methodical to her description of the doctor, 'but I do find better to trust but verify, so I’ll be asking you some questions while we are doing your test, if you could please take off your jacket and put in on one of the hangers behind the curtain so we can begin?'"


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: The Morning After), by Greystar (COMPLETE!): "'Ladies and Gentelmen, the President of the United States.' Daria looked at the television screen with a sick feeling in her bowels as Angela Li walked up to the presidential podium."


• Venus Fly Trap (IC: DeMartino and Jake swapped), by LongSnakeMoan (COMPLETE!): "Helen. Please read this. Leslie I picked it up. Plain black with a large red broken heart on the front. LOVE HURTS. Domestic Abuse is the hidden crime. Don't suffer in silence. Oh, how ridiculous. Anthony isn't abusive. Anthony is passionate, he's extreme. He loves me and the girls, he just isn't the cuddly type."

Celebrate Twenty-Two THANKLESS Years!

Today is Ex Spouse Day, and it's a good bet that Ms. Barch is celebrating. Or ranting and raving. Come to think of it, I'm not sure this holiday would be any different from any other day for her. Carry on!

It's also a double episode anniversary, as both "The Lab Brat" and "Of Human Bonding" first aired on this day in 1997 and 2000. Oddly enough, the first connection between the two episodes that comes to mind is Upchuck's preference for honey from a bear and Helen's bumblebee pajamas. Because bees make honey, you see. Get it? Get it? Maybe I just need to get more sleep.

Fandom News!

• Deref has started posting photos and comments about his trip to Viet Nam.


• Check out Stilt-Man--Marvel's greatest warrior!


• Want to see something cute? The Sidhe shares it in the thread.


• Discuss the new movie Cabin in the Woods.


• Two new Iron Chefs have been posted in the Creative Writing forum: Reven384's Death Note and RLobinske's Worm Gruntin'.

Triple Word Score on "Friggatriskaidekaphobia"!

Happy National Scrabble Day! Today's the day to pull out the old board and lay down some tiles--even if you haven't been grounded by the distinguished members of Family Court.

But be careful, as today is also Friday the 13th! The Angst Guy used Friday the 13th as a character from Holiday Island in his fanfic A Hard Days' Night. Don't walk under any ladders or break any mirrors! Seriously, on that last one--the Fashion Club would kill you.

Finally it was on this day in 1997 that San Francisco Sunday Examiner & Chronicle published an interview with Daria. Check it out to see Our Heroine in the early days, before the fame went to her head! Or something.

Fanfic Update!

• Andrea's Tears, by BrownEyedBagel (part 2): "I’m in a lot of pain right now, and that is an understatement. It’s been three months since I had a drink, and to be honest I’m sure as hell thinking about having one. I scream at no one in particular, the person I want to be yelling at isn’t here. To my credit, I’m not crying. Not this time."


• Armored Cynic Daria, Episode 1: Esteem Rising, by RX-87 (COMPLETE!): "PA: Attention! Attention! A state of emergency has been declared! All residents are to proceed to their nearest emergency shelter immediately in a calm and orderly fashion! Do not attempt to evacuate the colony! Repeat, a state of emergency... DARIA: Not that you seem like the type to listen to authority, but shouldn't we be looking for a shelter right now? JANE: Fuck that shit. We're blowing this joint."


• Birthday Surprise (Iron Chef: Daria character wins lottery prize), by DeacBlue (part 9): "Paul looked at his girlfriend as she set the handset down. 'Rita, why are you doing this?' She glared at him. 'Because they're family, goddammit.' She set her hands on the table. 'I deserve a bigger piece of that pie then the measly ten thousand that that little bitch gave me. If they don't want to give it to me nicely, I guess I'll have to act like a Barksdale and work my way into it.'"


• Disconnect the Dots, by InvisibleDan (part 11): "The bar was not that full, maybe because it was still relatively early, maybe because the weather had made everyone stay home. In the back I saw Susan sitting at a small table with three other men. She was flashing plenty of cleavage and had put on plenty of makeup, which I could see even from a distance. She spotted me and I waved hello and walked back towards her."


• A Distant Lawndale (Part Two), by Arena del Sur (part 2): "I took my backpack and walked to the door. That morning we have a magnificent sun. I had enough time to pick up Jane, I left that my legs carried me on the path of every day. What pain did my father have kept deep down in his heart?"


• Educator DeMartino in: DARIA DEATH LIVES (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: The Morning After), by Charles RB (part 2): "NIKKI: Ewwwww! NERDS! And they SMELL funny! TORI: They're not popular at ALL, I don't know what they're- Panel 2. The crowd get a better look at the Judges and start freaking - Daria has grabbed someone and is shoving them into the chip bowl. BRITTANY: AAAAA! They're not NORMAL NERDS!"


• The Fight (Otherwise known as One J at a Time) (Iron Chef: Daria and Quinn, Best Friends), by Reven384 (COMPLETE!): "'I'm a failure,' Quinn said. 'No your not. I may have given you unrealistic expectations on what being in a relationship intails,' Daria said. 'Wait a second that can't be right. I went to you for serious advice and you lied to me,' Quinn said looking confused."


• God Save The Esteem ep41: Is It Fun Yet?, by Charles RB (part 7): "'Hmmm. I’m not sure where to start with this one. Wait, no, got it: security guards do go and tell people where they can and can’t stand. It’s a way of guarding a place in a secure manner. That’s why we’re called security guards.' 'I thought we just sat around doing nothing.' 'Ideally, but if someone tells us to do our jobs we have to actually go and do them,' explained Steve. 'Otherwise we get fired and then have to work in a harder job. This is where I’ve seen guards get it wrong.'"


• Lawndale School of Magic Part One: The New Kids, by Reven384 (part 3): "'I wonder what we’re having today,' Jane said. 'How about a serving of Charles,' said a sleazy voice. Daria’s head turned and saw a guy with red hair and a fancy suit. She could feel the power radiating off of him, and could tell he was a skilled magic user. She turned to Jane to ask who this guy was when she saw that Jane had a look of pure lust in her eyes. Suddenly Daria’s body was hit by a sharp shock."


• Life After Highland Ch. 2: 3 of Swords, by LadieT (part 2): "The drive to school was very quiet. After they parked, Quinn watched her older sister walk away and sighed. She was torn - she genuinely liked her aunt, but knew that both her mother and Amy had valid points. What concerned her the most though was Daria's reaction to the conversation."


• The Mageborn Cynic (IC : Daria and the School of Magic), by peetz5050 (parts 2 and 3): "'May I offer a warm welcome to all of you on this fine Autumn day. As I'm sure you know through diligence and effort this college has achieved a reputation as the premier educational center for the Mageborn on this continent. I expect nothing less than a like application of diligence and effort from each of you as you progress through your courses. Proper education is an opportunity to be seized and built upon. There are books of rules governing conduct in this establishment but I have two rules you must remember: Work hard and don't die'." (Part 3)


• A Resentful Cynic ch. 2 No Party . No Problem, by ST91 (part 5): "'Come on Daria, don’t be like that. You'll see, you will enjoy yourself.” Said Jane. 'Or at least you’ll have a pleasant evening.' Andrea said with a wink. 'I don’t think I will.' Daria said. 'Why?' Andrea and Jane asked in chorus. 'Quinn is coming.' Daria said, pointing out with her finger the red head girl who approached them very quickly."


• Star Trek: Daria - Resurrection, by echopapa (part 2): "'She's coming out of the coma, Doctor.' Hm. Bright lights. I guess there is a Heaven, after all...wait. Why would Heaven need a doctor?"


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: The Morning After), by BrownEyedBagel (COMPLETE!): "(Daria and Jane are minding their own buisness when Brittany slowly edges up to them sobbing silently) Daria:'...Brittany...(sighs) is everything OK?' Brittany:' NO! Everything's NOT OK! I'm pregnant!'"

"Sweet Quinn" Just Doesn't Have the Same Ring to It

Today is Barbershop Quartet Day, so the three Js are a quartet minus one. That won't stop them; they're singing their devotion to Quinn in perfect harmony...or so we hope.

This is also the 112th anniversary of the first official U.S. submarine design. I mention this not only as a fun little fact, but also as an excuse to link to the late, great Guy "Decelaraptor" Payne's hilarious fanfic "The Blue and Yellow Submarine." Enjoy!

Fandom News!

• Check out the latest news from the International Space Station. A very important experiment is underway!


• LongSnakeMoan confesses having a thing for Anthony DeMartino.


• Post your stupid movie ideas in a new thread.


• What do you think are the dumbest music videos? Post them for everyone to mock!


• Matt Groening has revealed the location of Springfield on The Simpsons. But it's not a suburb of Baltimore.


• Jim North has updated The Colossal World's Shortest Crossover Reference List. Thanks, Jim!

Fore! Cool.

Happy Golfer's Day! Jesse does seem pretty happy playing the game, and even seems uncharacteristically alert. Perhaps he's found his true calling? Anyway, this is probably one of Jake's favorite holidays, but probably not so much for Jodie. Still, you might find her at the Winged Tree Country Club for one of her golf lessons, fulfilling yet another parental obligation.

Today is also Siblings Day, and whether or not Quinn will celebrate the holiday depends on where in the series you find her. Perhaps Helen will call Amy or Rita in observance of the day, and maybe she'll even mend a few rifts in the process. And maybe Kevin will be accepted into Crestmore.

Fanfic Update!

• Andrea's Tears, by BrownEyedBagel (part 1): "The flask in my hand starts to feel heavy. I am doing better than them. I am better than them! What’s more, I’m at least honest about my feelings. I’m not letting myself be defined by my family’s expectations or what that bitch Anglia Li wants me to be for the reputation of that damned school. For the first time in days I smile. I’m free. Alone... but free..."


• Armored Cynic Daria, Episode 1: Esteem Rising, by RX-87 (part 9): "EXT: Lawndale High. Trent, still in Active Optical Camouflage mode rockets toward the building, leaping into the air and crashing through a wall. INT: Mr. Ewing is quietly putting together some papers in preparation for next period's math class. The papers go flying and Ewing screams in terror as Trent crashes through the wall and becomes visible, the long rifle strapped to his back. TRENT: Oops. Wrong room."


• At the Crossroads...(Chapter 8), by oni (COMPLETE!): "After the doctor left, the room fell into silence. Sandi and Linda stared at each other, waiting for the other to start speaking first. With a slight push from Helen behind her, Linda went first. 'Sandi,' Linda started. 'I’m sorry about what I said earlier, but...' She was about to continue, but after receiving a look from Judy on the other side of the room, she just ended with, 'never mind.'"


• Birthday Surprise (Iron Chef: Daria character wins lottery prize), by DeacBlue (part 8): "'Hey, I've got an idea. Instead of licking stamps for the Congressman all summer like I did last year, why don't I get Dad to cover me going with you to "network overseas?"' She made the quote motions with her fingers. 'Then, either you or Jane, or both, could sleep in a suite by yourself. Everybody wins.' Daria brought her finger to her lips. 'You know, that may not be such a bad idea,' She was about to say more when they caught sight of Jane with her arm around Brittany's shoulders as the blonde was sobbing into her embrace."


• The Cats Will Play, by RLobinske (part 1): "Both of them went back to the cats and squatted next to them. Daria scratched Bump behind the ears while Michael rubbed the bridge of Sissy's nose. Daria said, 'Please don't trash the house while we're gone. My friend Cat will stop by tomorrow to check on you and then we'll be back sometime on Sunday.' Bump looked up. 'Reroewr.' 'Okay, just take some pity on your poor staff and not make too much of a mess.'"


• Cinderella By Sandi Griffin (Iron Chef - Homework assignments - Fairy Tales), by Gnome (COMPLETE!): "Once upon a time there was a wonderful woman who had left her husband because he was such a loser brain and didn't understand how important staying in fashion was and so gave her trouble about buying ten new outfits a week."


• Conjuration Fallacy (IC : Daria and the School of Magic), by Wraith (COMPLETE!): "Charles sighed. 'My dear friends, how do you ever possibly expect to become a great wizard if you do nothing but what our instructors tell us to do?' 'I suppose you have a better idea?' one of the others asked. Charles leaned forward. After a moment he realized none of the other wizards were going to move, and motioned them to lean in. After they got the hit (which took a while), he said, 'Have you ever heard of a spell that makes nude virgins appear in your bedroom?'"


• Daria DeMartino: Esteemers with the DeMartinos, by Reven384 (COMPLETE!): "'Please Ms. Li,' she started before Ms. Li interrupted her. 'You should have thought of that before testing out of the class without my permission. Keep this in mind for now on and we will get along just fine,' Ms. Li said. 'Yes Ms. Li,' Daria said through gritted teeth as her eyes bulged obscenely."


• Daria - Double Down, by neonhomer (part 35): "'Ready for this?' asked Jane. 'As ready as I...' started Daria, but she was cut off by Jake snatching Daria off her feet into a hug. 'Daria! I am so glad you’re safe!' exclaimed Jake as he hugged his daughter. 'Dad.. can’t... breathe...'"


• Educator DeMartino in: DARIA DEATH (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: The Morning After), by Charles RB (part 1): "DARIA: My name isssss DARIA DEATH. DARIA: Don'tttt worrrrry, I'm jusssst hear to KILL you, nottt subjeeect you to furtherrrr YAMMERRINGGG ASSSSAULT from thisss quote mussssiccc unquote."


• Figures... (Iron Chef: Getting Ready for the End of the World), by RLobinske (COMPLETE!): "Against a backdrop showing a jumble of lines pointing toward the Earth, the TV announcer said, 'While there has not been an official response, unofficial reports from the Pentagon and Space Command have confirmed that almost one hundred small Near-Earth Asteroids are being directed toward Earth by an alien intelligence....'"


• The Fox and The Cat by Stacy Rowe (Iron Chef - Homework assignments - Fairy Tales), by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "Once upon a time, a fox and a cat who had been raised as siblings moved into a new forest. The fox was quite attractive, and many of the buy animals in the forest wanted to date her, and she gladly did - but they had to fetch the finest foods for her, and let her sit in the sunny spots or the warm places, and they were never allowed to sniff at her tail."


• Go Away, by OverlordMikey (COMPLETE!): "An eatery of sorts; the food here sucks. Still it makes for a good hiding place I guess. Still I have to ask myself: What the hell am I doing here?"


• God Save The Esteem ep41: Is It Fun Yet?, by Charles RB (part 6): "'I don’t see why I have to be bait.' 'Well, I’m holding the camera and taser, Erin’s holding the mike, and Dallas didn’t want to come. Sorry, sprat.' And so Daria sighed her way through the forests of south New Jersey, a pork chop round her neck, muttering 'wooo. Hello. I am dinner.'"


• Her Heart Will Go Smart (Iron Chef: Titanic), by JoeMerl (COMPLETE!): "She sighed. Well, the view was nice, at least. She leaned out farther over the railing to see better---but unfortunately, did so just as the ship seemed to hit a rough patch of water, causing it to lurch slightly. She let out a cry and almost slipped, only to feel somebody grab her by the back of her dress and pull her back onto the deck. 'Whoa! Careful there.'"


• Lawndale School of Magic Part One: The New Kids, by Reven384 (parts 1 and 2): "'Did we move?' Daria asked. Daria scowled a bit. Somehow even in a world with magic where being stupid could get one killed looks still played far to big a role in popularity. Which was why Illusion spells were so popular. It was an easy school to learn and the stupid gravitated towards it. She looked at her sister with a mixture of disgust and pity." (Part 2)


• Magic Talking Sea Life to the Rescue! (And Some Mice Too) (Iron Chef: Titanic), by JoeMerl (COMPLETE!): "Jane stopped her frantic search on the deck long enough to stare at the huge pink tentacle that had wrapped itself around the ship, holding the broken halves together as it sank into the water. 'Okay. And here I thought this trip couldn't get any weirder,' she muttered."


• A New Beginning (IC Runaway Daria), by LadieT (part 5): "Quinn heard the voice coming from the younger girl's mouth and froze. It can't be her. It just can't. Quinn studied the younger girl. The girl turned and looked at Quinn. Quinn began to pale when she saw the girl's eyes - no her mother's eyes behind the glasses."


• The Night at Joe's, by Gnome (COMPLETE!): "Not for the first time Jake felt a little bit of bile rise in his throat. How could she be doing this to them. He and Helen had been happy, well happish, once. Then she came along and decided she was better then every other damn person that crossed her path. She must have inhearted it from Mad-dog for it sure as hell wasn't from him."


• The Prep, the Artist and the Loner, by Walter Kovacs (part 3): "With a conspiratorial look on his face, Tom remarked 'Speaking of ignorant idiots...' 'Oh?' asked Daria who was curious about where the conversation was going. 'I need your help on coming up with ideas for making a date so bad that the person will never ask me out again' explained Tom."


• A Resentful Cynic ch. 2 No Party . No Problem, by ST91 (parts 2 - 4): "'Ok Daria, I'll give you that, Quinn was not invited by Brittany, but the fact that she has been invited demonstrates how useful it is to be perky and sociable like her, to make important friendships. You should try to do be a bit more like your sister.' Said Helen. 'Yes kiddo, looks at Quinn ; she has a lot of friends, everybody loves her.' Jake said, spreading salt on the wound. 'Sorry, not interested.' Daria said as she got up and went to her room. Once she arrived there, Daria closed the door and began to punch the wall." (Part 3) (Part 4)


• Sandi :: Well... This Sucks :: Chapter 14, by Fhujeth_x (COMPLETE!): "'The family who made me this... this monster in the first place...' She sighed, 'He thought he was saving me... but what's being saved if I have to feed off the blood of the living?' Tears coming to her eyes she looked down, 'It defeats my purpose of being a doctor, really.... If I'm supposed to help the ill, why do I have to feed off the well?'"


• Sleeping Beauty: By Jodie Landon (Iron Chef - Homework assignments - Fairy Tales), by LongSnakeMoan (COMPLETE!): "Once upon a time a King and Queen had a baby daughter. Approximately three to seven fairies were invited to be the baby's godmothers and bestowed on her stereotypical gifts of feminine accomplishment, such as beauty, grace, musical talent and so on."


• Unnamed story (IC : Daria and the School of Magic), by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "A thin filament of blue light streamed for an instant through the twin front doors of the Landon residence - and blinked out immediately as a man stepped into the foyer. He was a slender man in his late forties, balding and bespectacled, with a drawn, yet probing expression on his face that made him remind onlookers of a particularly severe schoolmaster - and the walking stick he carried, as well as the sporty tweed cap and jacket, made him seem as if he were simply visiting during a day trip to the country."


• Unnamed story (IC : Daria and the School of Magic), by peetz5050 (part 1): "'Now ladies, I know it is not easy for you to adjust to a new home and a new school, especially for you, am I not correct Daria?' He looked pointedly at his eldest daughter. 'Did we move?' she answered sarcastically 'I declare Father I had scarce noticed, the horse dung smells the same here... as do the people'"


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Twins), by ThanatosRW (COMPLETE!): "Daria: That's right, older sister. We're twins, and Quinn is older by seven minutes. She failed a grade, so that's why you haven't seen us in class together. Yes, that's right twins. Identical twins in fact."


• Unnamed story (Scenes That Should Be: Breakfast of Zombie Champions), by Jim North (COMPLETE!): "Finally ready to move to the main act of the show, Kandy reached forward to grab a fistful of the girl's jacket in her tightly coiled fist. 'I saaaaaaid-' Kandy repeated but managed to get no farther."


• We Only Hurt the Ones We Love (IC Runaway Daria), by deneich (part 10): "The only response from Mrs. Manson was a reproachful, prolonged, withering stare. Realizing that to look away meant conceding defeat, I continued to sit silently meeting her stare with – what I hoped was – a confident expression on my face and, not defiantly but determinedly, prepared to wait her out. After several moments the previously stern look upon Mrs. Manson's face softened and was then replaced with a pleasant, appreciative smile."

I Don't Even Want to Know What He's Smiling About!

Happy Easter to everyone who celebrates the holiday! Joey is providing the eggs for today's hunt, but I'm not sure I'd want to touch them. Save a chocolate bunny for me, though!

I could post a list of Easter-related fanfic and fanart, but Mistress Thea did such a great job that I'll just link to her list. Thanks, Thea!

Fandom News!

• Quiverwing had an eye-opening trip and has shared her story as well as photos.


• WTF could this be? See the thread to watch the video and share your answer.


• Roentgen shares some advice on writing from C. S. Lewis.


• Two new Iron Chefs have been posted in the Creative Writing forum: Walter Kovacs's Ethan Morgendorffer and cfardell_Brenorenz29's Titanic.

Well, That's It, Then. Helen Finally Snapped.

Happy National No Housework Day! For some of us, that's just about every day. As for myself, well, let's keep that between me and the dust bunnies, okay?

Today is also the anniversary of the original airings of both "This Year's Model" in 1997 and "I Loathe a Parade" in 2000. In both episodes, the Fashion Club find themselves in awkward situations, so Daria probably enjoys them quite a bit. Except for that whole Tom foreshadowing thing at the end of "I Loathe a Parade."

Fanfic Update!

• Birthday Surprise (Iron Chef: Daria character wins lottery prize), by DeacBlue (parts 2 - 7): "Daria looked down at Jake, then kneeled until their eyes were level. 'Jane and I are getting married.' Seeing the blood drain from his face, she started to giggle and waved her hands. 'No, no, that's not it, but I got you, didn't I?' Jake's mouth opened and closed a few times, and his face flushed. Finally, he was able to force out a reply. 'I guess you did, kiddo. But what's the news?' 'Well, Dad, did you hear about the lottery drawing yesterday?'" (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5) (Part 6) (Part 7)


• Blast (Iron Chef: Getting Ready for the End of the World), by The Angst Guy (COMPLETE!): "The coming dust storm was awe-inspiring even in these apocalyptic times. The vast wall of rolling yellow was miles away but now it reached from the horizon to the sky's zenith, reducing all before it to insignificance. Dry air blew errant strands of sun-bleached hair over Brittany's face as she slowly chewed a bit of salty jerky, watching the storm's approach."


• Clique Swap, by psychotol (parts 29 and 30): "Sith Warrior: Meets another Sith Warrior 'What’s the situation?' Another Sith Warrior: 'Darth Krayt wants Quinn, Stacy and Tiffany killed.' Sith Warrior: 'I was hoping he’d order that.' Sith Warriors: Run off." (Part 30)


• Daddies Here Sweetheart (Iron Chef: Getting Ready for the End of the World), by Gnome (COMPLETE!): "'Hey kiddo,' slipped past his lips as he past the threshold. Bloody footprints left behind, showing his path. She raised her head and looked at him with her beautiful green eyes, auburn hair sticking to her sweat covered face. He raised his the double action revolver and leveled it at her. 'Don't worry kiddo, daddy will make everything fine again.'"


• Daria DeMartino: Esteemers with the DeMartinos, by Reven384 (part 4): "'That’s all well and good but I never said I’d get you the bugs. We can’t just spy on people,' Helen said. 'Come on now you’re a lawyer,' Daria said. 'Fine I’ll go grab some out of my room,' Helen said."


• A Distant Lawndale (Part Two), by Arena del Sur (part 1): "I was weakened with the long march. I wasn't trained to survive in the jungle, soon I came down with fever. But a soldier from Buxton took care of me. His name was Robert. –Don't worry, my man, I'll stay with you... Here, take my part. –Thanks, Robert... But you have to eat too... –Forget it! I'm not going to let you die in this ****!"


• Dylan, by J-D (part 3b): "Harvey had got as far as pointing out an old bell tower that made Dylan think of Charles Whitman, when Kris asked to be shown where the sororities were. 'Don’t you mean the fraternities?' 'Oh no', Dylan said, 'my brother knows exactly what he’s looking for.'"


• Girl Grope (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: The Morning After), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "'The entire point of all of you here is that you five together make...the ultimate girl band!' The five looked at each other...and then starting laughing."


• Lawndale and Sandi Griffin’s Genie (Chapter 7), by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 1): "At 11:30 after she had come home from the Zon, Daria heard the phone ring in her room. She picked it up. 'Hello?' 'This is Daria Morgendorffer?' the person asked him a strange accent less voice. 'This is she, and you are?' Daria asked, suspiciously. 'You do not need to know at the moment, Daria.'"


• Lawndale School of Magic (IC : Daria and the School of Magic), by Reven384 (part 1): "'Did we move?' Daria asked. Daria scowled a bit. Somehow even in a world with magic where being stupid could get one killed looks still played far to big a role in popularity. Which was why Illusion spells were so popular. It was an easy school to learn and the stupid gravitated towards it. She looked at her sister with a mixture of disgust and pity."


• A Mothers Love, by ash_blackfire (part 11): "'Miss. Barksdale, have a seat.' a man in his mid forties with glasses and a slight belly said Amy entered the room. ' Your case is strange to say the least. The Lanes are like a myth around the offices here. You added another page to the growing book of "Lane Tails" we have. You also offer part of a conclusion to one as well.' the man said with hope and slight sarcasm in his voice."


• A Resentful cynic ch. 2 No party . No problem, by ST91 (part 1): "I never thought that I would say it ... at least not before being in Boston with Aunt Amy ... but I'm happy. Moving to Lawndale was the best thing that ever happened to me. But let me put things in order."


• Salted Popcorn (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: The Morning After), by Smijey (COMPLETE!): "As Daria walked out of the movie theater, she licked the last of the salty taste from her fingers. She just LOVED movie theater popcorn."


• Sandi :: Well... This Sucks :: Chapter 14, by Fhujeth_x (parts 2.5 and 3): "Melissa Jel walked through the corridors of the hospital at an impatient pace, trying hard to find her childhood friend and flatmate, Kristen. Sure living with a ghost was weird, but Kristen needed a place to watch her television shows and keep herself entertained while waiting for something to happen in her stagnant afterlife. 'This can't be happening.' She looked around as she hoped to find her ghostly friend, 'Michael didn't tell me they'd be in this town.'" (Part 3)


• Shipwrecked, by Solaris (part 1): "She spun around, coming face to face with a tall man in dark robes standing a dozen feet away from her. 'Who are you? What's going on?' she asked. 'Isn't it obvious? You're having a dream.' 'No, I've experienced lucid dreams before, and they never felt like this. Besides,' she said, pointing up, 'those are my dreams.' The man smiled, 'Correct. This is a place one step removed from dreams. Well spotted. This may prove to be very promising.'"


• Star Trek: Daria - Resurrection, by echopapa (part 1): "To Cadet Daria Morgendorffer: Change of orders. All other assignments suspended for 48 hours pursuant to collaboration with FNS reporter re: interviews. Daria read an addendum at the end of the message: Make the Academy look good, Morgendorffer. It's good to know that the spirit of Ms. Li lives on, she thought wryly."


• To Annoy a Mockingbird. Chapter 05, by BF110C4 (part 5): "'Daria, why are you giving him the stats of my computer instead of yours?' 'Your old dot matrix printer is already on its lasts legs, and all the extra work I have forced on it does not help at all, so I thought about getting a new one to replace it.' Almost at once Daria became aware of her mistake. Jane face was showing her anger for everyone to see and her words held some real venom on them. 'Look I don’t need your god damn charity, just leave that thing there and leave me alone with you’re on it. Okay?'"


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Daria/Real Steel), by Waylander (COMPLETE!): "The newly-painted Black Knight stepped into a massive tunnel that led into the arena. The robot stepped into the light and the crowd cheered. His opponent stepped into the arena and received a similar greeting, mostly from the former football players and cheerleaders. The two machines stopped to face each others."


• Unnamed story (PLOT BUNNIES: free to good home), by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part ): "'A short-cut?' Daria asked, with incredulity. 'Yeah,' Tom said. 'I doubt it, the layout of Lawndale is such that the only way to get to my place from here any quicker would be to fly or go under the ground,' Daria said. Tom smiled 'Funny you should mention that, Daria,' he said. He lead her towards the basement... Daria wondered what Tom was up to."


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: The Morning After), by GlitterShrooms (COMPLETE!): "'I can explain!' cried a weeping Daria. 'No bother!' screamed Jane. 'I've finally figured it out. You turned my hair carrot orange just so you could finally have your Scooby Gangbang fantasy. I should have figured it out sooner when I saw Tom buy that ugly ascot.'"