A Tramp with Self-Esteem

Happy birthday to the late comic actor Charlie Chaplin, born on this day in 1889. O'Neill is funny in his own way, I suppose, but he's nothing like Chaplin. For starters, Chaplin meant to make people laugh at him.

Today is also National Stress Awareness Day, to which Jake replies, "Stressed? Why do people keep telling me I'm stressed? If I weren't stressed, I'd get stressed by everyone telling me I'm stressed!" Considering today is also the day after tax returns are due in the United States, I'd say there are probably a fair number of people nationwide who are very aware of their own stress right now.

Finally, today is National Librarian Day, which I only mention because certain blogger librarians might be more than happy to accept whatever gifts and other tokens of esteem you might wish to pass along in honor of the holiday. Especially if they happen to be chocolate!

Fanfic Update!

• Birthday Surprise (Iron Chef: Daria character wins lottery prize), by DeacBlue (COMPLETE!): "'So what has dear Aunt Rita done now?' She listened. 'Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Okay.' She paused. 'Well, to be quite fair, I did say all of those things. Yes, I did. I may have told them to the world's dumbest bridesmaids, and then told them that I was lying, but I did say the words.'" (Part 12)


• The Cats Will Play, by RLobinske (part 2): "'Squirrel!' Sissy meowed as she jumped up onto on of the front window sills. A gray squirrel clung to an oak tree in the front yard and stared at the window, barking. Bump jumped up to join Sissy. 'Ah, it's Spaz Tail. I wonder if Bright Ears will show.'"


• Clique Swap, by psychotol (parts 31 and 32): "Helen: Opens the door revealing Hillary Clinton and another human in a galactic empire general uniform. Hillary: 'Is Darth Maladi here?' Helen: 'Uh, yeah ... right this way.' Walks back to the kitchen with Hillary, the empire general and the cameraman following her. Jake: 'Say, is that Hillary Clinton?' Daria: 'I have a batter question: What’s happened to my sister?'" (Part 32)


• God Save The Esteem ep41: Is It Fun Yet?, by Charles RB (part 8): "The audience descended on the venue, like a great wind had blown through a particularly smelly rubbish dump. Piercings and dyed hair and leather and body odour abounded, and three friendly fights had already broken out. And out went DeMartino onto the stage, seeing all the glass bottles in the front row and his mind screaming that he better get this right, he had only one shot at this-"


• Going out for a Pizza (Iron Chef: Getting Ready for the End of the World), by Doggieboy (COMPLETE!): "The two teens jogged up to the Buick's driver's door and looked inside the window. Daria asked, 'Ma'am, are you...' Then she gawked and stared at the inside of the car. 'Whoa,' Jane said. 'Where the hell is she?' Where the elderly woman had sat behind the wheel, there only remained a light blue dress, a slightly darker blue jacket, a hat, a set of false teeth and a pair of glasses. A rubber-tipped stainless steel cane and a large-print copy of the Bible sat on the passenger seat."


• The Hallowed Bungholes (Scenes That Should Be: Breakfast of Zombie Champions), by Walter Kovacs (COMPLETE!): "Two young men in poorly fitting blazers were sitting in an auditorium watching a stern elderly gentleman lecture on about the school's honor and dignity. As was usual for those two distinguished gentlemen both would rather be watching MTV than being there."


• Lawndale School of Magic Part One: The New Kids, by Reven384 (COMPLETE!): "After Stacy left Quinn walked over to Sandi, 'What did you want to talk to me about?' 'Yes if we are to continue hanging out then I feel I must be honest. My family line traces itself back to the Dark Lady Griffin,' Sandi said waiting for the fireworks. 'So I’m Mad Dog Morgendorffer’s grandchild,' Quinn said, 'I’m surprised you told me though. I go out of my way to avoid letting anyone know who my grandfather was.'" (Part 5)


• The Mageborn Cynic, by peetz5050 (parts 4 and 5): "Daria studied the man as he berated his less-than-prepared students. The colored threads on his collar, which meant nothing and were virtually invisible to anyone less than an Archmage, were predominantly silver, which meant he was a farseer, which also meant he would have spent the mandatory ten years in the military. That would account for what happened to his eye." (Part 5


• No Esteem (IC: DeMartino and Jake swapped), by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): "'Girls, I realise it's not easy to move to a new town,' said her mother, giving nervous glances to the rearview mirror, 'but this does look nicer, doesn't it? The school seems a lot safer too, none of the- well, you know. Rough kids.' Well, we haven't arrived yet, have we?"


• A Resentful cynic ch. 2 No party . No problem, by ST91 (part 6): "While he and Jodie were walking to his Jeep, Mack asked, 'Will you accept Daria’s offer?' 'I don’t know. It depends if my parents will give me permission.' 'Jodie, please don't lie to me. You don't want to go because of Jane.' 'What ? Come on Mack don't make me laugh.' Jodie said. 'Jodie.' Mack said in a tone that brooked no argument."


• Rude Awakening Ep.10: Sandi vs The EPT, by DIsaac (part 6): "BRITTANY: Teddy, we aren't changing the subject now. What do you mean I have anger problem, Ted? TED: You tend to overreact, sometime physically, to things. BRITTANY: I don't overreact... as much as I did in high school... or in college... or with that job in Houston... or Miami... or Memphis... or Philadelphia... or Columbus... or Los Angeles... (pause) I'm not making a good case for myself right now, aren't I? TED: I wouldn't take that second career as a lawyer."


• To Annoy a Mockingbird. Chapter 05, by BF110C4 (part 6.1): "'Good morning Miss Morgendorffer, I am Doctor Amelia Northman, right now we are going to start with a physical exam, I already had Dr. Nicholson and Dr. Wheeler fax me your medical files,' ‘Both our old family doctor and gynecologist’ Daria added methodical to her description of the doctor, 'but I do find better to trust but verify, so I’ll be asking you some questions while we are doing your test, if you could please take off your jacket and put in on one of the hangers behind the curtain so we can begin?'"


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: The Morning After), by Greystar (COMPLETE!): "'Ladies and Gentelmen, the President of the United States.' Daria looked at the television screen with a sick feeling in her bowels as Angela Li walked up to the presidential podium."


• Venus Fly Trap (IC: DeMartino and Jake swapped), by LongSnakeMoan (COMPLETE!): "Helen. Please read this. Leslie I picked it up. Plain black with a large red broken heart on the front. LOVE HURTS. Domestic Abuse is the hidden crime. Don't suffer in silence. Oh, how ridiculous. Anthony isn't abusive. Anthony is passionate, he's extreme. He loves me and the girls, he just isn't the cuddly type."