Also Known As Criminale Day!

Max gets a special star today because it's Bald and Free Day, and Max is the only bald Daria character I can remember off the top of my head. (Rimshot.) I suppose if "Dye! Dye! My Darling" had gone a little differently, Jane might have joined him on this holiday. For Daria's sake, I'm glad it didn't.

Fanfic Update!

• Action Stories #5: When it Rains, it Pours, by NightGoblyn (parts 2 and 3): "Jim Vitale glanced over Linda's shoulder, his eyes briefly locking with those of his young protege, and his soft smile hardened for the briefest of seconds. 'So, Sandi, where's that office? I was thinking that we could handle this with alacrity, then maybe I could take you and your mother out to lunch.'" (Part 3)


• All Relative (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: The Madness Sets In), by DarkDranzer (COMPLETE!): "(Brittany raises her hand) Mr. DeMartino: Yes, BRITTANY? Brittany: Who's that guy standing next to you and what happened to your arm? Mr. DeMartino: I was JUST getting to that."


• All the things she said, by 39medalla (COMPLETE!): "Jane una vez oyó hablar a Daria sobre un poema acerca de cómo era la vida bajo el sol."


• Behind the Counter, by NightGoblyn (part 12): "'I need to see your ID,' Daria said, her flat monotone more bored than usual. 'No ID, no beer. It's not just a good idea, it's the law.'"


• The Boleyn Girl, by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "In Whitehall Palace the Queen's apartments had entered a strange period of quiet after the hustle and bustle of the various members of the court scrambling to see the infant currently resting in the cradle."


• Celebrity Status (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: No longer in the 1%), by DarkDranzer (COMPLETE!): "(Set in the mid-late 2000's, new class of seniors and DeMartino's hair's gone completely grey but is slightly happier that he no longer has to teach Kevin) DeMartino: 'Would anyone ELSE care to BROADCAST their COMPLETE lack of EDUCATION?'"


• The Drudge of Tomorrow, by TheTuxedo (COMPLETE!): "'Uhh, we're in Lawndale, kiddo. Remember? We just moved here,' Jake replied. 'I think I had a nightmare... I was in a car crash... but it was so... vivid.'"


• Fleeting Innocence (Ideas!), by Princess_Pasta (COMPLETE!): "Splotches of dried blood dotted the toe of Jane's knee-high combat boots, spots of rust colored gore marring the otherwise perfect leather exterior. The beginning of a bruise was already coloring a spot near her right temple."


• From J and D, with love (Ideas!), by Princess_Pasta (COMPLETE!): "He didn't want the admiration or the fame. He only wanted one thing: to bring the Ianuzzis crashing back down to Earth."


• Frown at the Dead, by Vick Pena (part 3): "Daria followed the sound downstairs. Her mom and dad were there, talking, or, to be accurate, whispering. By their voice inflection Daria got it was something serious but they stopped and changed the topic when they saw her walking into the room."


• Going To The Chapel (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: The Madness Sets In), by ognawk (COMPLETE!): "'Is he sure he knows what he's doing?' Daria said quietly to Ashley. Ashley shrugged. 'I dunno. It's his life anyway. He can do what he wants with it.'" (Part 2)


• Of Hearts and Minds Book II: Present, by mac (part 5): "Quinn Barksdale had always hated Mondays, and yesterday was no exception. She was still on thin ice with the popular crowd at school, failed a pop quiz in Math, and came home to find her mother drunkagain."


• Out of Place, by PrecambrianStudios (part 6): "'This is a specialized tablet, Creator,' said the man, whom Lobinske realized as his own creation, Richard. 'It'll make you feel more comfortable.'"


• The Phantom of the Library, by NeonHomer and Princess Pasta (part 1): "Matthew paused. 'When we went for the tour of the high school last year, the seniors that were showing us around were telling us the school is haunted.' Tristan went from laughing to taking on an ashen look."


• See Jane... (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: No longer in the 1%), by Princess_Pasta (COMPLETE!): "A predatory grin spread across Jane Lane's pale face, an evil glint lighting in her bright blue eyes. There was blood to be spilled and she was itching to release the carnal fury burning within her."


• Shush First, Answer Questions Later, by Kristen Bealer (COMPLETE!): "The books were in alphabetical order, the complimentary coffee was brewing, the public-use computers were all (miraculously) functioning, and Daria Morgendorffer was prepared to start her first day as a librarian at the Alfred Joyce Kilmer Public Library."


• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: The Madness Sets In), by Silver (COMPLETE!): "Sexual intimacy was, given the nature of the situation, an impossibility. At the very least, it would make sharing meals with the rest of the folks in their habitat block awkward."