Regular or Decaf?

Daria's all set for National Coffee Day, as long as Quinn doesn't catch her and start lecturing her about dark circles. She might want to save her lecturing for Jake, anyway, because today is also World Heart Day and I think I saw him getting the cooking pot out a few minutes ago. That can only end badly.

Finally, G'mar Tov to anyone observing Yom Kippur tonight.

Fanfic Update!

• Cops And Robbers And Magic, by psychotol (part 30): "Matilda looked at reports of robbery of small stores. You want to fight a war, you have to get money from somewhere, they picked up grenades from those white supremacists, and some cash and ammo."


• Drake And Jane Diaries, by James the Lesser (part 3): "Jane... Went to her mom. She ran, hitchhiked, and whatever else until she got to her mom. She's nuts. Maybe back in the seventies you could hitchhike without ending up chopped to pieces but today... I'm just happy she's safe."


• Harry Potter Morgendorffer, by Meester_Lee (parts 5 - 7): "There was a different receptionist at the front desk when she came in the following day. The receptionist did not take it well when Helen stated her business." (Part 6) (Part 7)


• Life Cycle (Defect/Bug), by TalkingAnimals (COMPLETE!): "You feel...small. You wish you had a better emotional vocabulary; you actually wish you had a better grasp on your whole emotional register, period."


• A Place On Earth (Pasta's Never-ending Ideas Thread!), by Princess_Pasta (part 1): "Daria Morgendorffer didn't wonder about the afterlife. By the time she was ten years old, she'd come to the conclusion that God didn't exist."


• Quinn, Episode 2: New Horizons, by WildDogJJ (COMPLETE!): "We see Quinn, Lindy, and Jane sitting on the floor. With the aid of Jane's trusty glue gun the three of them are making multi-colored mirror frames." (Part 2) (Part 3)


• Quinn, Episode 3: Sibling Anxiety, by WildDogJJ (COMPLETE!): "We see a woman with graying red hair watching a baby play with letter blocks on the floor. The small child has on a green shirt and black overalls." (Part 2) (Part 3)


• Unnamed story (LLH - Short Entries), by Roentgen (part 48): "'This wouldn't be a very difficult alteration to do,' Danielle Todds said. 'And I could make it permanent.'"


• Unnamed story (World's Shortest Crossover, Part XIV: The Crossover Awakens!), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "'Why are you making me do this for you again?' Daria asked. 'Dah-r-i-AAAH? Who doesn't wish to be able to talk to animals?' Quinn said."


• Unnamed story (World's Shortest Crossover, Part XIV: The Crossover Awakens!) by WacoKid (COMPLETE!): "'Now then,' Ms. Li explained, 'The two of you are all ready to be students here at Lawndale High. But there's one last thing.' 'Is this another test?' Quinn asked with a frown. 'Or is it more story time pictures?'"

In the Absence of a Can Opener, You've Got to Try Every Option

While today is Crush a Can Day and Daria is probably getting desperate, I really don't think that strategy is going to work. If only Kevin, master of crushing cans on his head, were here. And that's not a sentence you see very often, is it?

Fandom News!

• Play a new game, The Wrong Movie.


• Discuss the recent federal election in Germany.


• Talk about the latest news about women driving in Saudi Arabia.


• Vote in the Deadliest Warrior poll between Conan the Barbarian and Solomon Kane.


• What do you think of Star Trek: Discovery?

A Good Day for Books!

Kevin is reading his favorite comic book for National Comic Book Day, and I'm just shocked that I was able to use "Kevin" and "reading" in the same sentence. On second thought, it's very possible that he's just looking at the pictures. However, anything that puts Kevin in close proximity to books of any kind is to be admired.

Also on the subject of books, Banned Books Week began yesterday and I encourage every one of you to follow Daria's lead in fighting censorship. You could even maybe do more than yell at the TV if you feel like it.

Fanfic Update!

• Cops And Robbers And Magic, by psychotol (part 29): "'Tonight we have the first of many alternate party leaders debates, we have Carrie, Spine And Soul, we have Jill Stein, Green, Gary Johnson, Libertarian, Evan McMullin, Better For America, and Darrel Castle, Constitution, now, let's start this with a brief intro statement by each candidate, what are your parties about? Jill?'"


• Fates Entwined, by Deep Metal (part 8): "'Hi, you must be Quinn's new boyfriend!' Jake opened the door. 'I'm pleased to meet you finally, Mr. Morgendorffer!' Kenneth Malone smiled. 'I'm Kenneth.'"


• The Fights You Can Win, by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "I hate leg lifts. I really hate leg lifts... 'Oh, stop bitching in your head about how much you hate doing leg lifts, Daria!'"


• Quinn, Episode 1: Burger World, by WildDogJJ (COMPLETE!): "We first see Quinn walking on a sidewalk. Her pace quickens as the music picks up. Next, we see her in the halls of Lawndale High talking with the former Fashion Club. This is followed by her being praised by Mr. DeMartino while Sandi stares daggers at her." (Part 2) (Part 3)


• Harry Potter Morgendorffer, by Meester_Lee (part 4): "'We can set up another meeting tomorrow, if that's convenient,' said Minerva. Helen thought about her schedule. 'I'd be willing to talk again tomorrow, but I'm not sure we can do much business. It's a weekend, and I suspect that this MACUSA takes the weekend off like everybody else.'"


• Standstill, by Princess_Pasta (part 14): "A light dusting of snow had already begun to blanket the ground and Monique cast a wary glance at the sky, keeping her fingers crossed that she wouldn't get snowed in at the library. She wasn't sure why she was even bothering; she was probably the only one crazy enough to show up."


• Star Trek: Voyager: What a Choice Leads To, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 2): "Interplexing beacon detected. Initiating interface. Vessel Identified. Designation: USS Voyager. Alert!.Unit is not Seven of Nine Tertiary Adjunct of Unimatrix 01. Kes gave a small smile and began to search for the navigational data..."


• Unnamed story (LLH - Short Entries), by Roentgen (part 47): "To: Legion NLC1 Core Fm: Daria Morgendorffer Re: Results of voting; Upcoming Legion Meeting"

Jane Would Prefer NOT to Celebrate Alison

Alison's here for Celebrate Bisexuality Day, but given her behavior toward Jane I'm not sure she's the best representative for this holiday. Unfortunately she's also (as far as canon tells us) the only representative available for this one. Oh, well. There's always fanon.

In lighter news, today is also Checkers Day. While the day doesn't actually refer to the game, I'd like to think Tom is sitting down with his uncle for yet another tedious afternoon at the Cove. Checkers is also known to canon as Kevin "King me!" Thompson's version of chess.

Fandom News!

• Post your best jokes about the money found in toilets in Geneva.


• Pay your respects at the passing of actor Jake LaMotta.


• What did you think of the movie Batman & Harley Quinn?

A Day for Grateful, Peaceful Hobbits

Helen is holding a brown lump of something vaguely hobbit-shaped in honor of J.R.R. Tolkien's book The Hobbit, which was published on this day in 1937. She should probably at least try to feign appreciation for the present, though because today is also World Gratitude Day. At the very least, I suggest she not start a war over it, because this is also International Day of Peace.

Fanfic Update!

• An Annoying Paradise, by Resop (part 1): "'Are you even listening to me?' Startled, Asamura Daria (1) looks up from her book and looks at her sister, Asamura Quinn (2), through large glasses. 'Who are you again?'"


• Neutral Ground, by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "Daria looked around at the slightly grubby, worn nature of the tiny mom-and-pop joint, which would have looked out of date in the 1970s, as David Allen (dressed smartly in his 'service dress blue' uniform - identical to the uniform worn by active-duty Naval officers, but with USAES insignia) followed her through the door." (Part 2)


• Sonoma Coma, by jtranser (part 25): "'Begin the Gathering of Livestock' '...B-b-but that's insane, Daria!'"


• Stargate Delicately Balanced Daria, by Meester_Lee (parts 3a - 3c): "The Quesnir came out of hyperspace at the edge of the star system above the plane of the system's plane of the ecleptic, then slowly made its way in-system, firing off probes towards two of the three large gas-giants that orbited what Earth astronomers would have classified as a G-class star well beyond the distance separating Jupiter from Earth's own sun." (Part 3b) (Part 3c)

Yarrrr! Have a Swashbucklin' Day!

Upchuck is being an extra-scurvy dog for International Talk Like A Pirate Day, because his personality alone just wasn't enough to drive everyone away. Instead, he had to add words like "wench" and "landlubber" to his vocabulary to make himself especially repulsive. In honor of the holiday, please enjoy Shane Greentree/Gregor Samsa's pirate-themed fanfics, "Esteemarrs!," "I Don't (Like Landlubbers)," and"The Plunderin' Of Don Jake."

Fandom News!

• Listen to ognawk and Princess_Pasta's new Lawndale Lowdown podcast.


• Can you help WildDogJJ with his fanfic writing and posting problems?


• Keep up with the ongoing news on the United Kingdom's attack level.


• Discuss the violence against the Rohingya in Myanmar.

Friends, Frenemies...Same Difference?

Helen just gave Linda a call to wish her a happy National Women's Friendship Day, and I'm sure she's already regretting it. Still, as far as I can tell, Linda is the closest thing Helen has to a friend. I mean, aside from her job.

Today is also Wife Appreciation Day, so after that stressful phone call I hope Jake is standing by with a soothing massage to help Helen relax. Or maybe a drink or two...or five. Depends on just how long the phone call lasts.

Fanfic Update!

• Grab-ass and Gutter Talk, by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "Randy Novvak brushed back his sandy-blond hair, looked across the packed newsroom (and surprisingly so, considering the size of the area) of Global Gossip Today - and hoisted a smile to his face that would make dried milk curdle." (Part 2)


• Second Chances, by Lady Evil (part 8): "Danny stormed away from the group to sit on a bench shaded by the cedars the hospital had been named for. How could he have been so stupid? How could he not have seen that a girl like Quinn would only talk to him if she wanted something?"


• Shameless Self Insert Into Daria, by James the Lesser (part 2): "Daria is careful around Adrian when she hangs out with him and Jane. She knows she should tell him the truth about the gay rumor. The rumor disappeared quickly but his reaction is still etched in her mind."


• Stargate Delicately Balanced Daria, by Meester_Lee (part 7): "'Hey, Daria,' said Jackie. 'I was wondering if you'd show up.' Daria wasn't sure what sort of crowd she'd been expecting before she sat down next to Jackie."


• Unnamed story (LLH - Short Entries), by Roentgen (parts 45 and 46): "'Charles, no, I don't think this is covering old territory,' Daria said. 'I'm chafing under the limitations that we're being put under. I'm chafing over the limitations that I'm putting on myself. Yes, "this is an open would and I'm not letting it heal". But I think that the whole thing is leaving a sour taste in my mouth. I just can't let it go?'" (Part 46)


• Where Did Quinn Go?, by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "With a saucer with a pair of strawberry cheesecake muffins in hand, Raeleigh York escorted Quinn into the VIP conference room of the Continental Regency Denver." (Part 4)

It was QB Killed the Cheerleader!

Kevin, oddly enough, is taking on actress Fay Wray's most famous role on the one hundred and tenth anniversary of her birth. Either that or he forgot their anniversary again and Brittany is not taking it well.

This is also National Linguine Day, so pasta-loving Jake will be getting out the old cooking pot tonight. I bet equally pasta-loving Trent will be stopping by later to try some of his favorite meal, too. Just don't let it oxidize!

Finally, today is Free Money Day, and I'm sure Tom Sloane will be along soon to pass out some cash to everyone. Very soon. Any minute....

Fandom News!

• Which band's fans get to repopulate the world? Share your ideas in the thread.


• Walter Kovacs suggests a thought experiment regarding fan reactions to Tom.


• Talk about TV series with WTF? endings.

But Is It Unauthorized Chocolate?

Daria and Tom are having a good time for International Chocolate Day, courtesy of Quinn--or rather, Quinn's admirers. I hope at least one of them is a chocolate-covered peanut for National Peanut Day.

Fanfic Update!

• Shameless Self Insert Into Daria, by James the Lesser (part 1): "Jane Lane and her friend, Adrian Prescott, walk by a car as two girls get out. Jane takes a peek at the two through the crowd. 'Newbies?'"


• Stargate Delicately Balanced Daria, by Meester_Lee (parts 4 - 6): "'So what do you think we ought to do about it?' asked Helen. 'I don't know,' said Daria. 'About the only thing I've decided is that I don't want to go public. I've seen what happens to people who say they believe in flying saucers and alien abductions. I've got enough problems without the ridicule. I don't want to spend the rest of my time here at Highland High being pigeonholed as a flying saucer nut case.'" (Part 5) (Part 6)

"Helen! What's the number for 911?"

Someone needs to tell Quinn that, although today is Emergency Number Day, it's not a good idea to call 911 for fashion emergencies. She's still ahead of Jake, though, because at least she didn't have to ask anyone for the number.

On a more serious note, today is also the anniversary of the September 11, 2001 terrorist attacks. Glenn Eichler had some thoughts on how Daria characters might have felt about it in his interview with Kara Wild.

Fandom News!

• Keep up with the latest developments on Hurricane Irma.


• Watch and discuss a video about why we call our parents "Mom" and "Dad."


• The Lawndale Lowdown Podcast would like your feedback!


• Talk about the movie It in the thread.


• What do you think of the new TV series The Orville?

An Un-bear-able Holiday

Daria's not too impressed by Teddy Bear Day, but perhaps she's concerned because that particular bear is full of honey instead of cuddly stuffing. Still, beats being surprised by a real bear, in my opinion.

Today also marks seven years since I temporarily took over posting on the Daria Fandom Blog II. No, really, it's a temporary gig, I swear. I can quit any time.

Fanfic Update!

• Blizzard, by peetz5050 (part 2): "'You'd almost think they were waiting for us to come out of town, wouldn't you?' Daria asked as they battled a fresh batch of ravening revenants which had assaulted the barricades moments before."


• Clarity, by Brother Grimace (part 1): "Elsie gave the barest shake of her head as she saw who was waiting for her... Oh, being in that cornfield has so lowered you."


• A Night In, by Zetor (part 2): "Lacey was having a great night. Building and planning the circus had been tons of fun; she was good at putting things together and Lizzy was great at making up stories."


• A totally normal morning (LLH - Short Entries), by Wassersauefer (COMPLETE!): "It was a totally normal saturday morning. Kelly wasn't hungover, she only ever drank water and soda on parties, she had breakfast and the sun was shining. All in all, it was a very fine day."


• Unnamed story (LLH - Short Entries), by Roentgen (parts 42 - 44): "Angier and Mack were finishing up the 18th hole. It was what Mack's grandmother used to call 'a blessed sunny day'. Even though he was a trained athlete, he was still getting used to the subtleties of golf." (Part 43) (Part 44)

Not One of Ms. Barch's Favorite Days, I'm Sure

Brittany's serving the drinks on National Beer Lover's Day, and I know quite a few Daria characters will want in on the fun: Doug and Kevin Thompson, Ms. Barch's ex-husband, the frat boys from Middleton, and even former St. Peter Girl beer model Ashley-Amber. Jake, who has nothing but disdain for Mad Dog's drink of choice, will stick to martinis.

And what could go better with beer than sports? Today is the thirty-eighth anniversary of ESPN's launch, so the guys can choose between that or the Pigskin Channel.

Fandom News!

• WildDogJJ has some confusion on how things work here.


• Discuss a new canon conspiracy theory.


• Vote in the poll about "Freaking Friends" lyrics.


• J-D reports a Sick, Sad World T-shirt sighting .


• Talk about movies with WTF? endings.

A Cheesy Holiday

Sorry, Ted, but it's Cheese Pizza Day and your slice clearly has toppings on it. Half-credit because you did remember the processed cheese, especially because by now you've probably figured out the exact process by which it's made and you were brave enough to eat it anyway.

Today is also Be Late for Something Day, and it's a sure bet that Trent will celebrate this one. Hmmm. Is there a "Be Late for Everything" holiday?

Fanfic Update!

• Blizzard, by peetz5050 (part 1): "'Alright, yes I am grumpy, thank you.' Daria replied to Jane's mild criticism."


• Lawndale Z, by Kuriamo22 (part 9): "A while after Jane and Daria split up Jane had returned to the cave with their capsule house and buried the Dragonball they stole from Frieza nearby. While she was waiting outside and admiring the strange blue green grass of Namek she heard a beeping noise coming from her jacket pocket."


• My Darlin' Daria! (World's Shortest Crossover, Part XIV: The Crossover Awakens!), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "Daria: My name is Daria, I'm six years old... [inhales before dramatically declaring] And i'm a beauty queen!"


• Open Gym, by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "'So, Mack - I thought football was your game.' 'Hey, Sarge. Football's my thing - but I try to make it over here for "open gym" at least twice a week, to hang out with the kids.'"


• Unnamed story (LLH - Short Entries), by Roentgen (parts 39 - 41): "The Fukunaga Manufacturing Concern shut the plant doors for one shift. The workers had been told that as a result of total quality management, there would be a necessary upgrade to the manufacturing software that required taking every computer-assisted manufacturing process off-line." (Part 40) (Part 41)

Click, Click, Buy!

Quinn just discovered eBay, exactly twenty-two years after the company was founded. Now that she knows you can shop for clothes online, she may never leave her room again. I don't think Daria would complain if that happened, but Helen and Jake's credit cards may never recover from the experience.

Fandom News!

• Post your thoughts on the death of actor Richard Anderson.


• Dark Kuno and others share their experiences and why so many are deathly afraid of police.


• Discuss the latest news on North Korean missiles.


• What do you think of the all-female Lord of the Flies remake?

We Can Do It! We Just Don't Feel Like It Right Now.

Daria and Jane are doing their part for the war effort, as World War II officially started on this day in 1939. I'm sure Mr. DeMartino has his own unique take on the subject, but I wouldn't recommend asking him about it unless you're prepared for a lot of shouting and eye twitches. That goes double for you two, Brittany and Kevin!

Today is also the twenty-third anniversary of the TV mini-series The Head, which began airing on this day in 1994. This is notable to fandom because it's linked to Daria through both a Beavis and Butt-head crossover and the background character on the show who wears a t-shirt featuring The Head. Don't think too hard about how both of those things can both exist; it gives me a headache when I try.

Fanfic Update!

• The Adventure of the Accidental and Transitory Book Club, by Blake C Stacey (COMPLETE!): "She never knew why Axl had rented a room at the Motel Nine, filled it with booze and invited two bands' worth of friends from the Dega Street crew over to drink it away."


• Fates Entwined, by Deep Metal (part 7): "'Are you okay, Daria?' asked Aunt Amy. 'I'm still a little shell shocked but otherwise still ticking,' Daria nodded. She was with her aunt now."


• Greater Love, by arandomshipper (part 3): "'Quinn, wait up!' Quinn stopped with her hand on the door handle, and looked at Daria quizzically. 'Where are you going?' 'Oh,' She smiled dreamily. 'Ben said it'd be easier for him to pick me up on the corner a few blocks away, so I'm going to walk over there and wait for him.'"


• Just Say U.N.C.L.E., by Captain Marbles (part 1): "After the news report had finished, Karen touched a certain button on her remote. 'Report, "Alchemist",' said Queue. 'I ran into a little...interference,' Alchemist replied."


• The Legionnaires and the Teen Star, by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "'Bet you a thousand bucks that Tom'll blow a blood vessel when he hears about missing this. A major TV star, and a cute one, too.'"


• The Ownership Society (Daria and the Gang Thread II), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "'Jane!' This was much more animated that Daria ever got in a phone call. Jane perked up. 'Yup?' 'Get over to my house right now! I'll explain later, just get over here right now!'"


• Second Chances, by Lady Evil (part 7): "Trent had some last minute instructions for Jane. 'Slash needs three drops of the vitamin formula mixed in with his food.' he told her, pocketing his wallet and car keys. 'Mix his worm pill in too. If he spits it out, just hide it in a hot dog and try again.'"


• Unnamed story (LLH - Short Entries), by Roentgen (parts 37 and 38): "'The rescue teams are overwhelmed,' Daria said, 'and you know it.' 'Nevertheless,' Kyle Armalin said, 'I strongly advice the Legionnaires not to come here. We have at least eight dead here and catastrophic flooding. Some areas have over three feet of flooding, and unless you are an expert in swiftwater search and rescue, you don't want to come here.'" (Part 38)