Son of the Return of Beneath the Planet of the Sick, Sad World! (Part 4)

Sorry this is late, just got home!

• "Are they making sweaters out of monkey skins? There could be a monkey on your back, next on Sick, Sad World!" (31)
• "Nuns by day, arsonists by night! Torched by an angel, next on Sick, Sad World!" (32)
• "It'll take more than a bout of scurvy to discourage these anti-health-food crusaders! Vegetable-rights activists, on the next Sick, Sad World!" (33)
• "He stole her egg . . . she crushed his skull! Psycho mother eagles on the warpath, on the next Sick, Sad World!" (34)
  
• "Lost in Antarctica, a brave young man survives by eating his own frostbitten appendages! A portrait of courage, on the next Sick, Sad World!" (35)
  
• "What happens when extraterrestrial beings mate with porno stars? Half-human sex machines, next on Sick, Sad World." (36)
• "Today on Sick, Sad World, cursed Egyptians cats come back from the dead to be your pets!" (37)
• "As gang crime rises across the nation, one question needs to be asked: 'Are any of them working for the government?' The Fed's own Crips and Bloods, tonight on Sick, Sad World." (38)
• "She met someone else. He did too. The only problem, his girl was a gorilla! Animal magnetism, next on Sick, Sad World. (39)
• "Are Satanic messages hidden in your favorite rock-and-roll albums? No! They've moved into your cereal bowl! Satanic Sugar Pops—they're devilishly good! Next, on Sick, Sad World!" (40)

More stuff shortly.