"Thou Shalt NOT, Kevin!"

That's right, today is planet Earth's 6,012th birthday, according to Archbishop James Ussher (not the same Usher with the problematic house in that other story), who sat down and counted them all out. And isn't it appropriate that today is also the birthday of none other than "Weird Al" Yankovic, and let's all yell "Hallelujah!" for that.

Speaking of birthdays, it was noted in Chicken Soup for the Butt (later collected as part of the megavolume, Reading Sucks, which I have with me right now) that Daria is a Scorpio. Today is the first day of the Scorpio part of the zodiac, so her birthday is sometime between now and November 21st. Happy Birthday, Daria. (Gettin' close to 30?) Now if we only knew when Jane's birthday was, we would be happy.

For the chemically inclined, today is also Mole Day (gotta have a nerd holiday in there somewhere). Finally, six years ago today, the online comic Mall Monkeys had some special guests. Enjoy.

LATE NEWS: I'm posting fanfic updates in tomorrow's message.

I have also received reliable word that some of the fanfiction supersites that went dormant a while ago will be open for business again before long. More on this later (with details).