You Dumkoffs!

The oldest continuously published comic in existence is the Katzenjammer Kids, which appeared 108 years ago today in a New York City newspaper—and never stopped once. Mr. DeMartino poses as the Captain, though he should be fatter to more properly resemble the character. Want to see this comic strip as it exists today?

An amazing amount of superb fanfiction has come out this week. I've ignored it long enough. (Note: The following has not yet been added to the 2009 Big List of Daria Fanfiction, but it will be, with corrections sent to me by everyone else.) Enjoy!

FF.net

• The Girl with Golden Eyes, by Michellesdaughter (Parts 2 and 3): “I could have taken her…” Jesse was barely able to control Jane as he pulled her from the bar. It wasn’t the first bar fight he’d seen, but Jane had jumped from nowhere and everyone had been surprised at the sight.
  

PPMB

• Apocalyptic Daria: Scarlett's Tale, by Doggieboy (preview): Roger clamped his right hand on his left forearm where the knife had hit. He looked at the two men on the ground and quickly kicked their heads to check for any reaction. He looked at the blood around his fingers, groaned in frustration, and released his arm. Then he drew his pistol and cocked it. Blood ran from the cut and dripped from his fingers. “When in doubt, kill.”
• Chillin' with the Brisco, by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "Hey Daria!" "Hey." "Are you chillin' with the Brisco'?" "Am I what now?" "You know... chillin' with the Brisco'?"
• Daria: Hunter 3—Mind over Plasma (continued): Jane's gravbike settled gently into the space next to Daria's car. After shutting it down, Jane entered the anti-theft security code into the control panel, causing the grav plating to reverse its flow and activate. With a heavy thud that was felt more than heard, the plating glued itself to the surface of the parking lot.
• Finn Morgendorffer 19: It's Edgy, Dammit, by HolyGrail2007 (COMPLETE!): “Daria, you couldn’t pay me to pass this chick around.” “Fine.” Daria raised her hands. “I’ll just have to pass the time with telling her old stories. Like that time you drove the golf cart into the lake, or headbutted the stop sign.” “You told me you made that up!” “Wouldn’t that be great in the men’s section of Val?”

• Finn Morgendorffer 20: Pet Store Peril, by HolyGrail2007 (Part 1): “What did you get?” Joey asked once his gang finally all received their career aptitude results. “Mine says TV host,” Jeffy stated. “Hey, mine also says TV host,” Joey noted. “Wow, cool.” Jamie noted before he opened his results. “Wait, mine also says TV host.” “How did that happen?” Joey puzzled. “We couldn’t have answered every single question the same, could we?” Jeffy wondered.
• friends (more than), by Jim North (COMPLETE!):"Hey," said Daria. "Hey back, amiga!" Jane replied, pulling back to hold her friend at arm's length. "Why look at you, all grown up and matriculated." "I'm having a doctor look into that," Daria said. (FF.net)
  
• A Girl with Something Extra, by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): Daria and Charlene came face to face. Charlene was at least as tall as Jane was and for a girl, had broad shoulders, big hands, and her gene pool was marked with "Recessive Genes Only." Jane's right. I've seen homely, but this takes the cake. "Charlene!" said Jane. "Hey, there's a new amiga of mine that you should meet. Daria Morgendorffer, Charlene Rutt. Charlene Rutt, Daria Morgendorffer."
• In Silence Sarcastic, by Trscroggs (continued): “Well, as much as I hate to admit it,” Ms. Barch began, “you did a very nice job presenting, Kevin. Unlike some people.” Ms. Barch glared at an unrepentant red-head. “And excellent work on your end of the project, Daria.” Ms. Barch’s facial expression went through a few contortions before she continued. “I’m going to give you both an A.”

• Initial S, by Wraith (Part 1): Stacy was surprised how almost no one ever rode with her more than once. She knew she liked to drive fast, but it wasn't like she was being reckless. She did stay within 10 mph of the speed limit. Well... she usually did. Okay, maybe 15. Or 20. But when she was behind the wheel her heart started pounding and she started breathing fast. The sensation was completely different from her panic attacks. Somehow it was really hard to keep from weaving in and out of traffic.
• John Lane 44: Fizzy Logic, by Richard Lobinske (Part 4): When a hurried student bumped against Andrea while she waited in line at the cafeteria, she said, "Try some meth, it might slow you down." She made a point of grabbing a carton of milk to go with her lunch before moving away. Daria watched the scene and said, "Is it me, or are our fellow students more hyper than normal?"
• Love Is a Series of Burning Sensations, by Undefinedlust (Part 13): "I'm guessing this is what a hangover is. Between my headache and being sore from the wreck, I'd have to say I feel pretty lousy." "I had a feeling you wouldn't be doing so hot. Are your muscles stiff? How is your neck? That's usually what hurts after an accident." "Neck isn't so bad. My shoulder and chest are a different story. My shoulder feels like it's on fire, and I have some nasty bruises where the seat belt was." "Do you need to go to the hospital?"
• Rainbow Disconnection, by Disco316 (Part 8): “Quinn?” “Yeah?” “This never happened." “What never happened?”

• Reflections, by MidnightStorm (continued): Daria turned around and saw a broad-shouldered brunette, her hair cut shoulder length and wearing a pair of square-rimmed glasses. Before Daria had any chance to reply, the girl brought out her hand to shake Daria's. "Hi, my name's Amelia!"
• The Substitute, by Echopapa (Part 2): The receptionist closed the intercom and turned again to the applicant, who was brushing stray hairs from her jacket. “You can go in now, Miss Kitka,” she told her.
• The Secret Life of Tammy Sloane, by MidnightStorm (continued): Tammy looked from her mom to the paper she held in her right hand. She could not believe it. So many times her parents have threatened her, yet they never did follow through. The icy cold glare from her mom could only mean she was indeed telling the truth.
• Second Life, by Legendeld (Part 1): : How dare she? Quinn Morgendorffer thought as she shook the stinging out of her hand while watching the woman being drug away with a shocked expression on her face along with the bright red hand print. Like it's my fault that her husband looks at me.
• Unnamed story (Three-peat! New Ideas Thread Wins Again!), by Trscroggs (Part 1): "So let me get this straight," Jane said as she entered the cafeteria with her best friend Daria, "you can feel death coming?" "Death has been trying to kill me since the second I was born, Jane." Daria replied. "The only reason I'm still alive is that my parents, Quinn and I have become VERY good at feeling when Death is about to make any kind attempt." (Daria/Final Destination)