Uh...Fore! Yeah.

Jesse's playing a round of golf in honor of Tiger Woods, who was born on this day in 1975. I'm sure he'll be joined shortly by Jake, who loves to play golf but rarely gets the opportunity, and Jodie, who's been forced to take golf lessons by her parents for reasons too stupid to get into right now.

We're nearing the end of the year, and that means it's time to start thinking about nominations for the 2014 Daria Fanworks Awards! Read the rules and discuss written and visual works in the threads.

Fanfic Update!

• Ah, Hell, by metameric1 (part 25): "Daria brushed a lock of hair out of his face as he lay in bed, staring up at the ceiling. He'd picked that up from her, something that she did as long as she could remember when she needed to figure something out and hadn't yet gathered up the energy to actually get up and face the world."


• "Aw Mama...Can This Really Be The End?", by Scissors MacGillicutty (part 32): "Little Natasha Larimer could hardly fit both her hands around the grip of the Glock G20 in her Hello Kitty backpack but once her hands were on it, she could draw, aim, and shoot it with speed and accuracy."


• A Considerable Amount Of Paperwork, by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "Quinn looked up from the inches-deep pile of papers next to her. 'Does anyone have an extra-fine point market that I could borrow?'"


• Just trying to read Waif, by Bill Bruford (COMPLETE!): "Legs crossed, elegantly reclined on the living room couch. No sounds were being made except for the page turning every now and then."


• Outclassed, by Kristen Bealer (part 2): "She was expecting geeks and misfits. She was expecting complete and total lameness. She was expecting tedious boredom. She did not expect to see Stacy Rowe staring back at her."


• Sisters and Friends, by metameric1 (part 23): "'Have you found any possible digs for you and Annie?' Daria pulled the pizza out of the oven, setting it down on the top of the stove to cool a little. 'You're kinda cutting things close.'"



• Sitting on the Sidelines, by JoeMerl (COMPLETE!): "When Evan was a baby, his father Andrew's fondest wish was for him to be a football player."


• Star Trek: Daria - Resurrection, by echopapa (COMPLETE!): "'Yep, typical Jane,' Daria said aloud. 'Here I am in the 24th Century, and I can have everything I ever dreamed. The only thing I can't have is you.' The door chime brought her back to reality, and she could hear her roommate in the next room talking to someone." (Part 17)


• Star Trek: Emerging Enterprise, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 1): "Kazza put her hand on the scanner plate, and her house door opened. 'Welcome home Karen, you have zero messages from your contacts and 1 million messages in your bulk folder,' the computer said. Kazza knew what those million messages would be – spam."


• Unnamed story ('Iron Chef' for Robyn & all comers - 'The First Ten Minutes'), by Vukodlak (COMPLETE!): "'Gah' Daria woke to a sudden ache in her abdomen and lower back."


• Waking Up with That Weird Feeling ('Iron Chef' for Robyn & all comers - 'The First Ten Minutes'), by DIsaac (COMPLETE!): "Daria woke up, Mouth dry, hungover. She decided that celebrating her freedom from Raft in Vegas was in order."


• What Are Eyes The Window to, When The Soul Seems to Have Departed? ('Iron Chef' for Robyn & all comers - 'The First Ten Minutes'), by 45Ranger (COMPLETE!): "Daria's eyelids snapped open. Her eyes, however, saw nothing."

You Wouldn't Like Him When He's Angry...Or Any Other Time, Really

O'Neill is hulking out in order to wish comic book writer Stan Lee a happy 92nd birthday. Well, he's sort of like the Hulk. Only not green. And not angry. And not smashing anything. But hey! Close enough, right?

This is also Card Playing Day, so if you've been wanting to set up a family card game, today's the day. Bridge? Gin? Hearts? Done!

Fandom News!

• What are your favorite unaffordable hobbies? Tell everyone about it in a new thread.


• Give your thoughts on The Hobbit part 3 in the Weapons of Mass Distraction forum.


• What is the one film you have to see?


• Whom would you choose to play the female Doctor Who?

Sandi Had Better Watch Out

Someone needs to pull Stacy aside and let her know that although today is Boxing Day, it really doesn't have anything to do with the combat sport. Looking at her expression, though, you might want to wait until she changes out of her fighting gear.

In less violent news, today is also the first day of Kwanzaa. Apparently the Gupty family celebrates this holiday, considering they have the book "Kaneesha's First Kwanzaa" in their library. There's a fanfic waiting to happen, I think.

Fanfic Update!

• The Aftermath, by metameric1 (part 2): "'Jeez, now she's a total egghead!' The burst of laughter followed Daria down the hall. Some of the people nearby glanced at her, some smirking, but most shared a dark look as they ever so slightly tightened ranks around the smaller teen."


• "Aw Mama...Can This Really Be The End?", by Scissors MacGillicutty (part 31): "'Detective, please hold for Special Agent Sydnor.' —it's still morning and you're still listening to Mental in the Morning with Bing and the Spatula Man!"


• The Blackout Menace ('Iron Chef' for Robyn & all comers - 'The First Ten Minutes'), by baelparagon (COMPLETE!): "For the majority of people in life waking up in a strange environment with no idea how they got there would have caused a momentary panic response. For Daria however this was beginning to become a rather unfortunate circumstance"


• A Crystal Tokyo Nursery Rhyme (Tales of the Shadow Senshi: Rise of the Shadows), by Erin M. (COMPLETE!): "Rest my child, it's time for bed Time to lay your weary head If awake you try to stay The Shadow Senshi come to play"


• Daria: College Pains The Sophomore Year, by James the Lesser (part 1): "Lindy sits at the Morgendorrfer home with Little Jake on her lap. 'Your momma is going to be home soon. I hope with good news.'"


• Dear Daria, by Anonymous (COMPLETE!): "Dear Daria, That's a silly slip. But I told Wren I was writing to my sister, so I suppose that makes it truer than if I was just writing in a journal. And it's not like you'll ever see this or anything."


• The First Time ('Iron Chef' for Robyn & all comers - 'The First Ten Minutes'), by Indigo (COMPLETE!): "Daria woke earlier than usual that morning. She had wondered what this moment might be like for her ever since she had been old enough to wonder about such things."


• Last Day (Re: 'Iron Chef' for Robyn & all comers - 'The First Ten Minutes'), by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "Daria rubbed her eyes, and groaned as she took in the far-too-bright beam of reddish-orange sunlight and the sound of her mother's piercing, incoherent shrieks."


• The Morning Aftermath ('Iron Chef' for Robyn & all comers - 'The First Ten Minutes'), by 45Ranger (COMPLETE!): "Daria opened her eyes and quickly sat up in the bed, too quickly judging by the pain in her head. Speaking of pain it was made even worse by what she would swear were explosions going off in her room."



• Neg Active (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: The Madness Sets In), by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): "Chuck had been doing it wrong for a while but he knew the real deal now. To get the girls, he needed to be a challenge. He needed to show his superior genes. Just like Alpha V said, he had to bring those 9's down a peg and show he had social capital and then they'd be his. He might even get to... (his mouth went dry) ...kiss a girl."


• Nuclear Fallout of My Winter Heart, by Anonymous (COMPLETE!): "Jane opens the door to the student services building, and it's still bone-chill cold inside, but at least there's no wind. They check a laminated map to find the office for Raft Roundtable. 'This is all your fault, you know,' Daria tells her, tugging down her scarf to speak."


• SickSadWorld.com, by Anonymous (COMPLETE!): "What the hell was Jane up so early on a Sunday for? The situation being rare enough, Daria sighed and answered. 'Hello?' 'Daria! Did you see my email? Did you hear the news?'"


• Star Trek: Daria - Resurrection, by echopapa (part 15): "'Got any basic training stories you'd like to share with the readers?' Jake asked. 'Do you want me to tell you tales about how all of us underclassmen had to muster on the parade ground at 0500 while we were berated and chewed out by a Drill Sergeant from Hell? And then we were made to do PT and run laps until we threw up? Sorry to disappoint you, but none of that happened.'"


• Unnamed story ('Iron Chef' for Robyn & all comers - 'The First Ten Minutes'), by Princess_Pasta (COMPLETE!): "Daria was, understandably, livid about having woken up in the middle of her best friend's dorm room devoid of both her glasses and her shoes. Any memory she had of the previous afternoon was fuzzy and there was no doubt in her mind that Jane was wholly responsible."


• Unnamed story ('Iron Chef' for Robyn & all comers - 'The First Ten Minutes'), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "'Ugh, my head...' Daria moaned as she crawled out of bed, on reflex she grabbed the bottle of bourbon on her nightstand and took a swig."


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: The Neuropathology of the Fashion Club), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "'Oh Quinn!" Stacy said, "I'm glad that we're getting to be real friends. Best friends! Closer-than-best-friends!'"

Anyone Got Any House-Shaped Food?

Merry Christmas, everyone! Er, I mean, X, short for X-mas. Whatever you call it, I hope you all have a great day either surrounded by loved ones or alone with a TV dinner. Whichever way you choose, here's a humongous list of holiday fanfic to enjoy!

• The 26th of December in Lawndale by Shiva


• Bumpmas by Richard Lobinske


• Christmas Chaos by LadieTAG


• The Christmas Clip Show by Mahna Mahna


• Christmas Eve by LadieTAG


• Christmas Eve at the Lanes by Adrienne


• Christmas in White by Richard Lobinske


• Christmas Melody by Richard Lobinske


• Christmas Morning by Robert Nowall


• Christmas Snow by LadieTAG


• Daria and Jane are Forced to Save Xmas by JohnnyStyle


• A Daria Christmas Special by Bacner


• Daria's Christmas Carol by Admonisher


• Daria's Season of Goodwill by Nemo Blank


• The Diary of Daria Morgendorffer: A Portrait of a Young Girl by Melissa


• Ghosts Of Christmas Future by Crusading_Saint


• Gifts by Wyvern


• A Great And Good Christmas by ognawk (Part 2)


• The Greatest Gift by LadieTAG


• Herself, an Elf by John Berry


• I'm Dreaming of a Trite Christmas by Kristen Bealer


• It's a Holiday's Night by peapotmaster


• It's a Wonderful Misery Chick Life by Patrick Moore


• The Lane Way by Vlora


• Murphy’s Christmas by legendeld


• O Holy Nightmare by Jill "Leopard Lady" Friedman


• Redneck Christmas by TippedOver


• Sappy Holidays by Kristin Wegner


• Scarlett the Fairy Meets Santa Claus by Aloysius


• Scarlett the Fairy's Twelve Days of Christmas by Aloysius


• Season of Hope and Blight by MeScribble


• Scene from a Lawndale Christmas by undefinedlust


• A Star in the East Window by Guy "Decelaraptor" Payne


• The Tempest by E. A. Smith


• Thankful Snark by Charles RB


• The Twelve Days of Scarlett the Fairy's Christmas by Aloysius


• A Very Cynical Christmas by Warpedkjh13


• Weak at the Freeze by Fiona Lane


• Worldburner: A Very Judith Christmas by Erin Mills, Brother Grimace, Charles RB, and Overlord Mikey


• Yes, Quinn... by NightGoblyn

Or Maybe She's a Life-Sized Fuzzy Wuzzy Wee Bit

It's Christmas Eve, and Mrs. Bennett is all set to help pull Santa Claus's sleigh tonight...or she and Herbert are up to something that we don't want to hear about. Either way, I hope you've all been good this year. If not, I hope you hid the evidence well.

Fandom News!

• Discuss the Red Dwarf episode "Backwards" and parallel universes in general.


• A new Avatar trilogy has been announced.


• Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett fans will be happy to know a "Good Omens" radio show is being released.


• Three new Iron Chefs have been posted in Creative Writing: Brother Grimace's The First Ten Minutes, Scissors MacGillicutty's The Neuropathology of the Fashion Club, and GDTSP9's Upchuck is openly bisexual.

Hope They Can Finally Learn to Share

Amy's just calling up her favorite actor, Ralph Fiennes, to wish him a happy 52nd birthday. Of course, she might have to wait until he gets off the phone with her sister Rita. Don't forget about "Ralph...the actor I've been dating." Do I sense yet another sibling drama on the horizon? Or will the rivalry end when poor Ralph falls on a cow during a freak skydiving accident, too?

Fanfic Update!

• "Aw Mama...Can This Really Be The End?", by Scissors MacGillicutty (part 30): "'You had this all this time and you did nothing with it?' 'Bunk, I didn't even know who had jurisdiction—'"


• Dinner for Two, by RLobinske (COMPLETE!): "When Daria reached Michael, she put her arm around his waist and examined the table. Neatly arranged was a pair of roast game hens, mashed potatoes, oyster dressing, green beans, cranberry sauce, and a pair of miniature pies. In the middle of the table, a single candle burned."


• First Day, by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "The perky, anointed one's taking entirely too long in the bathroom. Again. Wonderful. Over-groomed little brat."


• Intermezzo, by UU (COMPLETE!): "Jane ran down the hallway of Lawndale High, angry tears welling up in her eyes. Turning a corner, she plowed into a petite redheaded girl, knocking her down, then stumbled, and slammed chest first into the drinking fountain."


• The Many Doctors, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 31): "It had been days, possibly over a week, since the Doctor and his companions had meet the previous Doctor and Tamsin had started travelling with them."


• Misery (Ideas!), by Princess_Pasta (COMPLETE!): "He was getting ready to truly begin, inspiration giving him the energy he needed to try out his new composition, when he heard a voice that instantly put him in a bad mood. So much for that."


• On The Cutting Edge, by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "Tommy Sherman learned to follow and trust The Voice. It was a woman's voice – smooth, sultry, not too sexy - and smart; you could hear that she had some brains in how she talked, but she wasn't a bitch. "


• Outclassed, by Kristen Bealer (part 1): "Sandi stood on the sidewalk outside of Lawndale High and stared at the front doors, willing herself to move forward and go inside and begin the first day of her senior year. Somehow, though, she found she couldn't move."


• Possibilities, by Sureia (part 26): "It was rare these days that Helen got to see the kids off in the morning, although was it really seeing them off if they hadn't left yet? She mulled this over for a bit as she sipped her coffee, fighting the urge to gulp it down like she usually did."


• Sonoma Coma, by jtranser (part 19): "Jane walked into the room to find Daria stretched out on the sofa reading The Critique of Pure Reason while giggling."


• Soviet November, by UU (COMPLETE!): "The elevator doors slid open. She took a deep breath and stepped out into the vast, marble-lined lobby of the Oktyabrskaya Hotel. They were waiting for her."


• Time and the Titanic, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 1): "As soon as the sisters were in the door, a flash of light emanated from the living room. They were knocked off their feet..."


• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: The Madness Sets In), by Silver (COMPLETE!): "Quinn sat down quietly on the couch next to her big sister. Daria didn't look up from her book. For a few minutes, the living room of Schloss Morgendorffer was silent. Finally, Quinn spoke. 'Sandi tried to bathe in diamonds today.'"


• Unsolicited Advice, by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "'Still feeling sorry for yourself, Thomas? Still attempting to justify your bad behavior by placing the blame on others?'"

You're Caroling on My Neck (Fa La LA La La!)

Alternate Universe Daria and her Alternate Universe boyfriend are getting fully into the spirit of Go Caroling Day. This scene comes from the Beavis and Butt-head episode "It's a Miserable Life," in which Daria is happy and in a stable relationship. Although it isn't explained whether or not she kissed him while he was still dating her best friend.

Fandom News!

• Do you consider Pittsburgh to be a midwestern city? Alvious is just wondering.


• Talk about recent developments with Star Wars in a new thread.


• What is your digital music player of choice?


• Share your favorite musical animated groups.


• What other MTV animation do you enjoy?


• Talk about Admonisher's Daria's Christmas Carol in the Golden Oldies forum.

What a Fashionista Wants

Stacy's turned herself into a major walking fashion faux pas to celebrate Christina Aguilera's birthday. The pop singer was born in 1980, and when Sandi regains consciousness I'm sure she'll remind Stacy that the latest issue of Waif considers Aguilera--being over thirty--no longer "in."

Fanfic Update!

• Ah, Hell, by metameric1 (part 24): "'I can't believe we're doing this,' Daria muttered. She reached for the tuners of the cheesy Teisco electric guitar and detuned the B and high E strings even more. Jane stopped the playback. 'We sound too good to pull off the Shaggs. It's really hard to sound that crappy.'"


• DW: Legacy of the Doctor, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 3): "Clara enters the restaurant. She looks around and finds Susan near the back. She sits with her. She sniffs. Susan: What's wrong? Clara: I don't know, maybe the smell? Susan: It's everywhere."


• Lessons Learned (Ideas!), by Princess_Pasta (COMPLETE!): "Doctor Brown watched the small child in front of her with sad, sympathetic gray eyes. It was a textbook case in her opinion but she didn't have enough information to go on to make an adequate plea."


• Redux, by Princess_Pasta (part 17): "Dega Street was practically deserted but Daria didn't expect anything more on a Thursday evening."


• Star Trek: Daria - Resurrection, by echopapa (part 14): "'I saw all of this technology wrapped up in a starship, and I realized I wanted to know how it all worked - and to use that knowledge to keep my homeworld safe.'"

It's Back (Again)!

Okay, this time the PPMB is really, really back up and running. Please read this post for details. Thanks again to Kara and Scissors!

How About a Bracing Spot of Birthday Tea?

The fantasy versions of Daria and Quinn are wishing a glorious morning to Jane Austen, who was born on this day in 1775. The scene is, of course, from "Write Where it Hurts," in which we find out that virtually everything Daria writes is stolen from other authors. But Austen was among them, so I can't fault her taste.

Hanukkah begins at sunset tonight, so I'd also like to wish anyone in Daria fandom who celebrates it an excellent Festival of Lights.

Maintenance continues on the PPMB, but you can stay up-to-date on the Paperpusher MB Twitter account.

It's (Going to Be) Back!

The PPMB is back up and running! Once again, thank you to Kara Wild and Scissors MacGillicutty for your hard work in fixing the message board!


ETA: the PPMB is nearly fixed, but for now everyone is asked to not post anything or click into posts from before the first of the year. The board should be fully functional soon.

Just Monkeying Around

The three Js are seeing, hearing, and speaking no evil today in honor of Monkey Day! I'm not sure what Quinn's going to make of their new look, since I don't think she's into furries. Also, I bet this is probably one of Kevin's favorite holidays, considering how much he likes monkeys.

Work on the PPMB continues slowly, as you can read on the Paperpusher MB twitter feed. Fans are still chatting on The Sh33p's Fluff Message Board, too.

Fanfic Update!

• An Intellectual Conversation, by Trashcan Chan (COMPLETE!): "'Wait David,' Quinn said loudly quickly standing up out of her chair, 'Just one more thing?'"


• Night Witches, by Panzerfaust 150 (part 8): "Major General Alexandr Leontev, Soviet Army, was a very angry man. He was on a hill overlooking his engineers throwing a bridge over the Fulda River."

The Price is...Cool

Jesse's looking more enthusiastic than usual in this alter ego of game show host Bob Barker, who celebrates his 91st birthday today. I'm not sure I can picture Jesse as a game show host, but I suppose it makes about as much sense as his Is It College Yet? alter ego of singing in a choir. Either way, he'd have to put on a shirt.

Progress is still slowly being made on repairing the PPMB database, but be sure to keep checking the news on the Paperpusher MB twitter feed while you talk to other Daria fans on The Sh33p's Fluff Message Board.

Once again, thank you to Kara Wild and Scissors MacGillicutty for all of your hard work in getting everything working again!

In the meantime, what has everyone else in fandom been up to while the board is down? I've been getting a surprising amount of writing in. How about you? Let us know in the comments.

You Have the Right to Hear Well-Crafted Poetry

O'Neill's trying desperately to get that lion head off so he can let us know that today is both Human Rights Day and International Animal Rights Day. I'm not sure that he really counts as either of those things, but with any luck he'll succeed in freeing himself before he suffocates.

Today is also the anniversary of Emily Dickinson's birth in 1830, and we know that Ms. Barch, at least, is a fan: "Daria, in the name of Jane Austen, Emily Dickinson, Anne Bronte, Emily Bronte, and Charlotte Bronte, I want to say, 'You go, girl!'"

Yeah, I'm pretty sure that's exactly how Dickinson would have phrased it.

Work continues on the PPMB, which is still down. Find out the details at the Paperpusher MB Twitter feed, while discussion continues at The Sh33p's Fluff Message Board.

Fanfic Update!

• The Boston Tea Party, by Shad_Tkhom (COMPLETE!): "А примерно через месяц, когда всё окончательно пришло в норму, позвонила Хелен. И попросила о встрече. Здесь, в Бостоне."


• CTPAX, by Shad_Tkhom (COMPLETE!): "Что часто нами движет ? Страх. Одних он может парализовать, прижать к земле, расплющить, а других наоборот — заставляет двигаться, действовать."


• Life As We Know It, by Princess-Pasta (parts 1 and 2): "'I am not arguing with you today, Daria. You're doing this. No discussion. Your father has already left for work and I'm going in the next five minutes. Get your sister to school on time.'" (Part 2)

Best Friends in Any Era

Daria and Jane (or perhaps their ancestors) are hard at work because on this day in 1941, the United States officially entered World War 2. The entry was announced on the same day by Franklin Roosevelt in his "Infamy Speech," known by the most famous line, "a date which will live in infamy."

As of this post, the PPMB is still down. Until it returns, remember to check the Paperpusher MB twitter feed for updates on the situation and chat with people at The Sh33p's Fluff Message Board.

Last news on the topic was that the message board may be back up and running as early as today! Keep your fingers crossed, and thank you to Kara Wild, Scissors MacGillicutty, and everyone else who's working to fix the problem.

"I think that I shall never see...."

Here we see Lawndale's Alfred Joyce Kilmer Public Library, named after the late poet Joyce Kilmer, who was born on this day in 1886. He is best known for his poem "Trees," although I don't suppose it references the Tommy Sherman Memorial Tree. Or crutch.

In other Daria-related news, today is the forty-fifth anniversary of Altamont, the free concert that went terribly wrong. According to the episode "The Road Worrier," Jake was there...and somehow got his money back. The full story behind that little tidbit has yet to be told, but I'd love to see it written someday!

No new updates on the PPMB status, but keep up with the news on the Paperpusher MB twitter feed and chat with other Daria fans on The Sh33p's Fluff Message Board.

Fanfic Update!

• The Aftermath, by metameric1 (part 1): "For someone who deliberately avoided trying to look good, the loss of her hair still disturbed her. A different person looked back at her from the mirror."

"It's not what you put into the cookies, it's what you put INTO the cookies!"

Helen and Rita are just about to put together a special treat for National Cookie Day, but I'd be wary of eating them if I were you. Although the chocolate chips are already in them, I have virtually no faith in either of them as cooks.

Still, I'm sure it beats the heck out of Creepy Daria's heart-shaped cookies for Kevin.

The PPMB is still down, but you can find out more about efforts to fix the problem on the Paperpusher MB Twitter account and keep up with other fans at The Sh33p's Fluff Message Board. The latest news appears to be that work is underway to fix the problem, but the message board will probably be out of commission until Monday.

You may now commence panicking.

An Economical Ringmaster

Mrs. Bennett is getting into the circus spirit because Charles Ringling, of the Ringling Brothers, was born on this day in 1863. Do you think she's going to turn those balloons into Fuzzy Wuzzy Wee Bit balloon animals? Or will she just take her students on another useless field trip to the big top?

Meanwhile, the PPMB is still down as of the time of this post, but you can check the status on the Paperpusher MB Twitter account and post on the new thread on the SFMB.

Fanfic Update!

Most of the links below won't work until the PPMB is back up, but enjoy some quote fragments in the meantime!

• "Aw Mama...Can This Really Be The End?", by Scissors MacGillicutty (part 29): "'I must hand it to you, Marlo. That meal wasn't only excellent, it was an education.' Carothers smoothed his double knit tie against his plaid shirt as he stood up."


• Daria: College Pains Redux, by James the Lesser (part 25): "Daria steps out of the administration building after spending hours going through paper work. 'I did it. It's official.' She was no longer going to become a teacher."


• Lawndale and Sandi Griffin's Genie: Future Excerpt 2, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 1): "Back in Lawndale, Sandi’s mother, Linda arrived back at her house. She almost fainted in shock at the sight of the mess."

It's Not You; the PPMB is Down

Keep updated on the situation with the Paperpusher MB Twitter account.

Never Surrender...Unless It's Against Corporal Ellenbogen

Jake's doing a pretty good impression of Winston Churchill, perhaps the best-known of England's prime ministers, who was born on this day in 1874. There are a few similarities between the two, most notably their love of alcohol. I suppose if Jake had become the leader of his country, Mad Dog might have actually had something kind to say to his son. But I doubt it.

We also wish a happy birthday to both Jonathan Swift and Mark Twain, two famous satirical authors who were born on this day in 1667 and 1835. It probably goes without saying that Daria would be a fan of both, although she might have had a favorite between the two. After all, I don't think we ever saw her wear a Jonathan Swift nightshirt.

Fandom News!

• The Angst Guy talks about the many possibilities for Daikaiju.


• BloodyWilliam wants to know if anyone's interested in exchanging Christmas cards.


• Which of the LHS teachers would teach *pornography*? See the spin-off to the photography thread.


• Discuss cloud storage and other methods to save your writing work.


• Two new Iron Chefs have been posted in Creative Writing: Vukodlak's Amy's Trash freakout and Shiva's Ms. Li as a Teacher.


• Ask Roentgen your questions in the new Ask the Author thread.

To Shop or Not to Shop?

The Fashion Club is out shopping because today is Black Friday, the busiest (and most notorious) shopping day of the year. Quinn's on the receiving end of some dirty looks because she probably just pointed out that today is also Buy Nothing Day. It sounds like a good idea to me, but I don't think the girls there are going to go for it.

Fanfic Update!

• "Aw Mama...Can This Really Be The End?", by Scissors MacGillicutty (part 28): "Diane looked at the young man and smiled. Something about him terrified her. Yet she quashed her anxiety, fearing that any display of unease would be enough for the young man to attack her—or worse."


• Forbidden Fashion (Shorty Shorts), by ognawk (COMPLETE!): "Stacy Rowe was walking the streets of Lawndale, a bag of clothes in her hand and a smile on her face as she took in the cool fall air."


• Help! (Happy Thanksgiving!), by legendeld (COMPLETE!): "Helen Morgendorffer puttered in her kitchen sighing at the emptiness that she didn't think she'd ever get used to. When the phone rang she didn't hesitate to answer it. 'Mom, I need help.' The caller didn't need to identify herself."


• Hey Man, Nice Shot, by 45Ranger (COMPLETE!): "Daria came to a decision, pulled out her phone and dialed. When it was answered, Daria listened, and then said: 'Amorette? It's Daria.'" (Part 7)


• Mine, by Vukodlak (part 6): "Daria stared idly out the car window as her parents drove them to the Doctors office where she'd undergo another pregnancy test."


• Misery Machine, by NightGoblyn (parts 7 and 8): "Monday morning came around at last, and Daria knew it was time to head to school and start some shit. She sighed to herself as she dressed, confused and annoyed by the parade of emotions getting tangled up in her head." (Part 8)


• More Human than Human, by Bill Bruford (part 1): "Sandi Griffin leaned on the the counter of the bathroom sink, hands twisted slightly to grip the edge, letting her face stop inches from the mirror. A strange feeling settling into her chest as she thought about what had just transpired."


• Rude Awakening: The Battle of The Morgendorffers, by DIsaac (part 3): "(It is 3:30 am in the morning when Daria and Kevin hear a knock at the door) DARIA: You're the man. Go answer it. KEVIN: I would but this is usually the time you get up. DARIA: Damn You're right."


• Scars, by legendeld (parts 6 and 7): "Daria sat on the floor next to Quinn as she colored with childlike abandonment while their parents talked with the psychiatrist. Finding out her parents were seeing someone about their apparently vague marital problems might have alarmed her any other time." (Part 7)


• Thanksgiving in Avalon (Happy Thanksgiving!), by legendeld (COMPLETE!): "Jane Morgendorffer smiled at the laid out Thanksgiving dinner that was perfectly spread out on the ten foot long table. Literally every possible side item that could be associated with the day was placed around the three turkeys."


• Unnamed story (Plot Bunnies IV: Plot Bunnies in Paradise), by NightGoblyn: "'Girls, I just want you to know your mother and I realize it's not easy moving to a whole new town.' The man glanced around the car, at his daughters, all of which were ignoring him. He cleared his throat and added, 'Especially for you, Helen, right?'"


• Working At The Car Wash (My Annual Thanksgiving Fanfic Release - 2014!), by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "Daria ignored the music as she turned to her best friend. 'I am going to get you for this, Lane, I promise you – I will get you.'"

At Least Jake Didn't Make This One!

Quinn's whipped up something special for National Cake Day, and I have to say I'm a little impressed by her baking skills. I wouldn't even have thought she knew how to boil water. Then again, it may look nice but who knows how it tastes? Hell, for all we know she just frosted a hatbox.

Whether or not Quinn's cake is a lie, why not celebrate with a tasty treat of your own? Or, if you don't have a sweet tooth, you could listen to the band Cake's song, "Daria," instead. Still counts in my book!

Fandom News!

• Share your worst examples of stupidity in The Weaponized Stupid Thread.


• The Angst Guy has good news and bad news about his theangstguy.com site.


• See the new Jurassic World trailer and talk about the upcoming movie.


• neonhomer is looking for Elsie Sloane quotes (or things she would say).


• Ask Erin M. your questions in the new Ask the Author thread.

Daria Prefers to Lose Friends and Alienate People

Jodie's rereading How to Win Friends and Influence People in honor of the author, Dale Carnegie, who was born on this day in 1888. How she has time for what I assume is leisure reading is beyond me, but I'm sure she's just cramming in a few pages before her next obligation.

Today is also Evolution Day, which celebrates the anniversary of the publication of Charles Darwin's book On the Origin of Species in 1859. In the immortal words of Kevin Thompson, "Darwin's the monkey guy, right? I like monkeys."

Fanfic Update!

• "Aw Mama...Can This Really Be The End?", by Scissors MacGillicutty (part 27): "'Jay, c'mon--if you get behind this--'"


• Hey Man, Nice Shot, by 45Ranger (parts 4 and 5): "Daria stepped through the door. 'You wanted to see me?' 'Yes, Morgendorffer, take a seat. I want to discuss the shortcomings of your training.' Armalin raised his hand to forestall the protest he knew was coming." (Part 5)


• Lawndale High Society (Shorty Shorts), by ognawk (COMPLETE!): "'Expelled, Elsie? Expelled?' Angier said in disgust, 'Five generations of Sloanes have all graduated from Fielding and you're the first to get expelled. What do you have to say for yourself, young lady?'"


• Misery Machine, by NightGoblyn (parts 5 and 6): "'I hereby call this meeting of the Misery Chicks Local 513 to order,' Jane said, grinning broadly. Stacy chuckled, Andrea took a drag off her cigarette and said nothing, and Daria rolled her eyes. Quinn glanced around the circle, shrugged to herself, and walked over to the nearby tool shed to see if anything interesting was inside." (Part 6)


• Redux, by Princess_Pasta (part 16): "'Go ahead and say it.' Daria muttered, 'This is what I deserve for treating you like crap. You can have the reigns back. I'm through.' Quinn shook her head, 'I wasn't going to say that. I don't really know what to say.'"


• Scars, by legendeld (parts 4 and 5): "Helen Morgendorffer had felt many emotions throughout her life, standing in her bedroom with her husband looking like he was having to restrain himself from tossing her under the nearest bus was bringing out something far worse than fear, shame." (Part 5)


• That was then, this is weird, by Ranma (COMPLETE!): "'I'll go see if we have any popcorn, we should since Trent's afraid of it now' Jane said getting up from her bed. 'That sounds goo... wait; what? Trent's afraid of popcorn, how'd that happen?' asked Daria with her left eyebrow raised."

"Now cashews, those are what the big guys eat...the CEOs!"

Jake is contemplating his very favorite nut on National Cashew Day, and I think he's a little worried that he isn't worthy to eat a CEO-level snack. Go for it, Jake. Shoot for the stars!

In Daria fanfic news, paperpusher's story "Her, Uh, Cane" was published on FanFiction.net on this day in 1998, making it the earliest Daria fanfic on the site. It depicted a hurricane before the episode "Daria!" did, even though no one broke into song in the fanfic.

Fandom News!

• Bill Bruford wonders about about bedtimes. When do you usually go to bed?


• A new interview with Glenn Eichler discusses Daria's existential crisis.


• Talk about comic characters that are Daria-like in a new thread.


• See what famous cartoon characters' skeletons would look like.


• Discuss your thoughts on the story The Passion Club.


• groverman62 has a question about C.E Forman's character Aunt Ellie.

It's a Good Day to Quit!

It's the Great American Smokeout, so put away your cigarettes, cancel your pot party, and put a stop to that exorcism in the girl's bathroom. It's never been established whether or not Trent smokes anything, but with that laid-back attitude and recurring cough, I know where my money lies.

Fanfic Update!

• Always Watches (Ideas!), by Princess_Pasta (COMPLETE!): "'I made you a present!' Five year old Jane Lane was holding a crudely wrapped gift in her paint stained hands, a wide toothy grin spread across her grubby face."


• "Aw Mama...Can This Really Be The End?", by Scissors MacGillicutty (parts 25 and 26): "'Daria?' It was Thomas Klebanow, the managing editor. 'Can you come into the conference room?'" (Part 26)


• Bedtime Story, by Indigo (COMPLETE!): "Another day was coming to a close and so Daria walked into her son's room, to tuck him in and kiss him goodnight."


• A Boring Summer, by ST91 (part 1): "Dario Morgendorffer was lying on his stomach on the bed listlessly flipping through a book. It had been less than two weeks after the end of the school but Dario could not wait for it to start again. He was dying of boredom."


• Broken, by tafka (part 2): "I felt ill. This was the last thing I needed. To be singled out in front of the whole class. Why not the whole school while he was at it?"


• Daria Saves Christmas! (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: The Madness Sets In), by Tuisto (COMPLETE!): "Daria was walking down Dega street, she had just a few minutes before past by the Good Times chinese restaurant when she saw him, the young blond man in a red shirt and a red cap, was leaning against a wall, his face turning blue and he grabbed at his throat."


• Dials are Overrated (Collection of old never used story starters), by legendeld (unfinished): "With a grunt she lifted it up only to hear a loud cracking noise. The fall lasted a second at the most and the impact shook her entire body. 'DARIA!'"


• First Day of Summer - Jane's Day, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 1): "The knocking was what woke Jane up. 'Who could that be?' she wondered as she slipped out of bed. She slipped on her dressing gown over her bedclothes and headed downstairs."


• Hey Man Nice Shot, by 45Ranger (parts 1 - 3): "Colonel Armalin sat at the small conference table with Nemec, Verbeck, Jahr, and Randall – The Legion Training Cadre – as they had their weekly meeting to discuss the progress of the various Legionnaires." (Part 2) (Part 3)



• Life and Other Plans (Collection of old never used story starters), by legendeld (unfinished): "'I'm sorry we'll have question and answer time a little later.' Her new English teacher said before looking like he was about to go into more of the feel good nonsense that was her current punishment for not fitting in with the crowd. 'I need to go to the bathroom.'"


• Misery Machine, by NightGoblyn (part 4): "The PA system crackled to life, and Ms. Li's voice said, 'Daria Morgendorffer and Jane Lane to my office. Thank you.' 'That's not ominous,' Jane said, regarding the speaker suspiciously."


• Scars, by legendeld (parts 1 - 3): "The first thing she felt was pain, a pain that seemed to cover her entire body. It pushed away the comfortable numbness and forced her closer and closer to consciousness." (Part 2) (Part 3)


• Sick Sad Web, by Princess_Pasta (parts 1 and 2): "Andrea Hecuba was tired. Not tired enough to really want to go home but enough that she could feel it with each step she took." (Part 2)


• Star Trek: Daria - Resurrection, by echopapa (parts 12 and 13): "'I had returned to my cabin,' the cadet continued, 'And was almost finished packing when I saw a movement outside my window. I looked up and saw a ghostly shape glide up alongside the Enterprise and come to a halt...'" (Part 13)


• Tedieval Times (The Ted Zone), by Kristen Bealer (COMPLETE!): "Life in the Middle Ages? I suppose we could synthesize the bubonic plague in science class, but could we get government approval? And how will our positions in the feudal system be assigned? Oh dear! Will I have to start bathing less often?"

Can Daria and Kevin Teach Him to Talk in a High-Pitched Voice?

Happy birthday to the cartoon character Mickey Mouse, who first appeared in Steamboat Willie on this day in 1928. Yeah, I know that isn't a picture of Mickey Mouse, but I'm in no mood to get sued and Roger was more than willing to step into the role for the day. Just keep Brian Taylor away from him.

Fandom News!

• Vote in a new poll about fast food.


• Bill Bruford wants to know how leveling works on the PPMB.


• As temperatures drop (in the Northern Hemisphere), tell everyone about your favorite cold weather clothing.


• Do you prefer subtitled or dubbed movies? Vote in the poll and talk about it in the thread.


• What are your favorite things that remind you of Daria?


• Ask Aloysius your questions in the new Ask the Author thread.

Yes, I Believe They Do Want Fries With That

Daria and Jane are waiting in line for some delicious fries (or perhaps some delicious things) because today is National Fast Food Day. If you want to see what it would be like if the Fashion Club got jobs in the fast food industry, look no further than S-C's fanart "Burger World." Makes me laugh every time I see it.

Fanfic Update!

• "Aw Mama...Can This Really Be The End?", by Scissors MacGillicutty (parts 23 and 24): "McNulty grinned. 'So—are you so all that that Hopkins will let you expense this meal?' Colvin laughed. 'Maybe just the steak, but everything else? Not a chance in hell—but I think what happened today is worth celebrating—Doctor.'" (Part 24)


• Daria's Rugrats (IC Runaway Daria), by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (prologue): "Didi Pickles was reviewing class notes for the next day when the door bell rang. 'At this hour?' she wondered. She went to the door. What she saw next shocked her."


• Dinnertime (IC: Daria, the MasterChef), by JPAGC (COMPLETE!): "Passing the doorway, she was not surprised to see her sister inside, Leaning above the kitchen isle and with her back to the stove, Daria momentarily took her eyes from her work to check her sister."


• Forced Impression, by Indigo (part 4): "'You hear that? He hasn't got a prayer.' Jane commented as they continued walking. Before Daria could respond, Quinn noticed her sister passing by and called after her. 'Hi Daria.'"


• A Man and His Box, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 10): "It was very weird, seeing Lawndale from the perspective of the past. Over the past day the Doctor, Nyssa and herself had scoured the town for unusual activity, only taking a break to spend the night at the Dutchman Inn."


• Misunderstood (Collection of old never used story starters), by legendeld (unfinished): "Daria wiped away the wetness that was running down the side of her face, wincing when it stung. The hand she lowered was slick with blood. A gentle knocking on the window got her attention."


• Special Needs (Collection of old never used story starters), by legendeld (unfinished): "Daria Morgendorffer ran her hands through her shoulder length hair and groaned loudly before trying to speak. 'So where exactly does this leave us?'"


• With Zombies (Collection of old never used story starters), by legendeld (unfinished): "'So to summarize, we now have our afternoons free and your parents are falling over themselves to keep your self esteem up.' Jane said as she walked with her new friend. They were heading toward Jane's house to celebrate their successful escape from the self esteem class or as Daria called it, torture."

The Prancing Principal

Ms. Li is reprising her "brief career as a dancer" in this alter ego of the late dancer and actress Louise Brooks, who was born on this day in 1906. The Angst Guy has previously pointed out that Jane bears a striking resemblance to Brooks, but I'll let you decide.

Today is also World Diabetes Day, and Mr. O'Neill and Jane would like to share this advice with everyone:

Mr. O'Neill: You know what they say; a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down.

Jane: Not if you're diabetic.

Fandom News!

• Share your thoughts on the original music vs. the new music on the Daria DVDs.


• If you could be one Daria character, which one would you be? Tell everyone who and why in the thread.


• Bill Bruford is looking for advice on how to find older Daria fanfiction.


• Who are your favorite progressive/jazz-fusion drummers? Music fans can join in the discussion.


• A new Evil Dead series is in the works! Talk about it in the thread.


• What do you think are the best scary movies? Join the conversation and share a fright with other horror fans!

Do Anchovies Go Well with Processed Cheese?

Ted's shocked because his pizza is missing the anchovies, but that's okay because it's National Pizza With Everything (Except Anchovies) Day. I suppose if you really, really want to have anchovies on your pizza, then go ahead. I won't tell. Just make sure you brush your teeth afterward, okay?

Fanfic Update!

• "Aw Mama...Can This Really Be The End?", by Scissors MacGillicutty (parts 21 and 22): "'You wanna what, Zig?!?!' Nicky Sobotka roared, and slammed the barrier that separated him from his cousin with the phone receiver." (Part 22)


• Character defining moments, by Walter Kovacs (COMPLETE!): "Days like these made Charles Rodriguez, the caseworker handling this file wish he had called in sick two weeks ago when his stomach felt slightly gimpy from last night's dinner."


• How Jodie Landon Became a Woman of Independent Means (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: The Madness Sets In), by thatLONERchick (COMPLETE!): "Michelle was at the counter, pouring a cup of coffee from a steaming carafe. She turned to her daughter, smiling mischievously, and held out the mug of hot liquid."


• One Way to Do It, by Tippedover (COMPLETE!): "Stacy sat in the driver’s seat of her fathers Crown Victoria, and tried to stay calm. She could feel the sweat starting to pop up to the surface (Tiffany: Staaacccyyy! Ewwwwww!) as she stretched the seat belt across her chest and lap."


• The Phantom of the Library, by neonhomer (part 6): "The home of the Min's was a modest, two-story structure with a perfectly manicured lawn and an in-ground pool in the backyard. Matt could count the number of times he'd been there on one hand."


• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: The Madness Sets In), by Tuisto (COMPLETE!): "The sun had just finished setting over Lawndale as Helen Morgendorffer walked the empty halls of her Law Firms offices, passing by empty room after empty room, until she reached her corner office. She was hoping she'd be able to get some motions finished and be home before 10:00 this time..."


• West End Girls (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: The Madness Sets In), by LongSnakeMoan (COMPLETE!): "She was too cold. He was too rough. They would destroy each other soon enough if one of them didn't have the courage to break it off and she had never lacked for courage. So she broke first. 'Over. We're over.'"


• What it Takes (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: The Madness Sets In), by Vukodlak (COMPLETE!): "Daria entered the bathroom and turned on the shower but she didn't get in right away. She stared at herself in the mirror with utter disgust."

Today's Blog Post was Brought to You by the Number 45!

Let's all join Muppet Daria in wishing a happy 45th birthday to Sesame Street, which first aired on this day in 1969. Mike Xeno wrote a Daria/Sesame Street crossover fanfic, "D is for Daria," which is worth a read even if you aren't a Sesame Street fan.

Today is also National Forget-Me-Not Day, and O'Neill will be happy to celebrate it with all of his students as soon as he can finally memorize their names from his seating charts. Don't hold your breath.

Fandom News!

• Share your favorite old video game recommendations in a new thread.


• What are your thoughts on the upcoming movie remake of The Six Million Dollar Man?


• Ask DIsaac your questions in the new Ask the Author thread.


• Bill Bruford is looking for fanfiction that pairs up Daria and Stacy.

Two Authors, One Birthday

Happy birthday to the late author Margaret Mitchell, who was born on this day in 1900. Jake and Helen are reenacting a scene from Mitchell's novel Gone with the Wind, and I must say they look pretty darn cute together there.

While we're celebrating birthdays, we should also remember Bram Stoker, or as Sandi likes to call him, Brad. Stoker was born on this day in 1847, and his best-known work is Dracula. Just so we're clear, I'm talking about Bram Stoker's Dracula, not Sandi Griffin's Dracula.

Fanfic Update!

• "Aw Mama...Can This Really Be The End?", by Scissors MacGillicutty (parts 18 - 20): "Daria stood outside the Lawndale Heights Condominiums complex, looked back whence she came, and shivered. She took a pack of cigarettes from her jacket pocket, struggled to open it, but then jammed it back into her pocket, and took out her phone." (Part 19) (Part 20)


• A Different Look at 1111, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 4): "It was early in the Summer between her Junior and Senior years at Lawndale High, and Stacy Rowe was visiting her best friend, Quinn Morgendorffer."


• The Mageborn Cynic, by peetz5050 (part 35): "A few moments later a captain rode up to Jakob and saluted. 'Good afternoon your Grace. The Major asked me to intercept you and report that her Grace, the Duchess of Barksdale, has kindly offered to billet our troops in her late husband's barracks as the Duke of Barksdale's regiment is already with his majesty and she requests that you and your senior officers join her for dinner this evening.'"


• Mine Origins, by Vukodlak (part 5): "As promised Jack arrived within an hour and a few brief introductions he asked the rest of the family vacate the kitchen while he conducted the interview."


• Mirror, Mirror, by NightGoblyn (part 2): "'I call upon the darkest magicks,' Daria intoned, and took a deep breath of incense. 'I summon the dark, and from the dark, I summon the power to destroy. Come to me!'"


• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: The Madness Sets In), by Indigo (COMPLETE!): "Mr. O'Neill - It means... look, just let me get through this part, okay? Then there'll be a video! Daria - (Standing up) No, it is not okay."


• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: The Madness Sets In), by Silver (COMPLETE!): "So, where do I start? I'm sorry."


• Zero (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: The Madness Sets In), by Princess_Pasta (COMPLETE!): "Daria Morgendorffer allowed herself a brief moment of introspection as she considered the events that led to her enjoying such a beautiful day instead of holing herself in her bedroom until noon, which had become routine for her since she started her summer break."

Quick, Someone Hide the Hot Sauce!

Sit back and let ol' Jakey take care of cooking tonight because it's National Men Make Dinner Day! On a side note, I'm pretty sure Pizza Prince delivers. Just in case you're not in the mood for Kitchen Sink Stew.

Fandom News!

• Congratulations to ST91, who is now a Doctor of Pharmacy!


• Talk about the 2014 U.S. Election in Nick's Corner.


• Does anyone like "Depth Takes A Holiday"? Give your opinion in the thread.


• Sci-fi fans are discussing the recently-announced 3001 miniseries.


• LSauchelli posted a new Iron Chef in Creative Writing: Daria, the MasterChef.

The Pharaoh of Self-Esteem Class

Mr. O'Neill is looking very regal for a man wearing a skirt, but that's because today is King Tut Day! It's the anniversary of the discovery of Tutankhamen's tomb in 1922, at which point the archaeologists were able to figure out whether he was buried without his diver or his liver.

Also, happy birthday to Wendy Hoopes, the actress who voiced Helen, Quinn, and Jane. She was born on this day in 1972, and I'm pretty sure she still has her liver. No clue about her diver, though.

Fanfic Update!

• "Aw Mama...Can This Really Be The End?", by Scissors MacGillicutty (parts 12 - 17): "He disliked being in a room that did not have any natural light other than his lab. In the lab, he was either engrossed in a task, watching a movie, or weeping on the floor. Here, without anything to attend to except as his fancy might strike him, he was extremely uncomfortable." (Part 13) (Part 14) (Part 15) (Part 16) (Part 17)


• Dax and the Time Lord, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (prologue): "As she approached Quarks, Ezri heard a familiar sound that she hadn't heard since before she was joined. It was a sound as of some strained mechanism. (She supposed it was strained, given how old it was.) She turned and saw a blue box appear out of thin air near the security office."


• Lane Lane, by InvisibleDan (COMPLETE!): "Daria grumbled. 'Just keep in mind that in a couple of years it's going to be illegal for us to go after teenaged girls.' Daria grumbled again. 'Okay, fine, be that way. All I'm saying is the window of opportunity is closing fast, and we have to get in before it closes.'"


• The Many Doctors - Chapter 26, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 3): "Martha heard the explosion and rounded a corner, almost running into Felicia. 'What are you doing here?' the Doctor asked. Martha held out the sonic. 'I'm returning this. I thought you might need it.'"


• The Phantom of the Library, by neonhomer (part 5): "'Well, this book so far has caused both Aunt Quinn, my mother, and my father to act weird.' 'Define weird' 'Aunt Quinn told me that the book meant a lot to her. My mom looked like she was going to throw up, and my dad told me to never mention the name of the girl in the book to my mother again.'"


• Quinn Bobs Her Hair, by EntrancedCat (COMPLETE!): "Half-way home she noticed Jane in further study of her bald pate. She stopped. 'What is it now, Lane? I swear if you paint a picture of this I'll....'"


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Crack Pairing Madness), by Hyrin (COMPLETE!): "Bobby Stuart sat in the holding cell at the police station, his head in his hands. Well, that escalated quickly, he thought to himself."