Beep!

I hope Upchuck decides to celebrate National Inane Answering Message Day again this year, because his previous entries, as recorded in The Daria Diaries, were classics:

"This is Charles. I can't come to the phone right now, because I am occupado. I could tell you what I am doing, but let's not ruin the mystery. At the tone, leave your name, number, and the time you called, and I will get back to you as soon as I can tear myself away from my life of intrigue, about which I cannot be specific, lest I put both my life and yours in danger."

"No, no...not now, girls! This is Charles Ruttheimer the Third, and you have reached my answering machine...please, ladies, patience!...speak clearly at the tone and...I'm on my way, my dears!...they so hate to be kept waiting...anyway, I'll get back to you as soon as possible...if this is an emergency, well, so is a woman on fire!"

"You have successfully contacted the underground grotto of The Ruttheimer Group, currently engineering our secret plan to achieve world domination by the year 2010. If you would like to know more about our plans to gain global control of mass media, subjugate the military forces of every nation on Earth, and install Charles Ruttheimer the Third as supreme ruler of all humankind, please leave your name and address at the beep, and we will send you an informative brochure and a free bumper sticker."

On a less amusing note, it was on this day in 2011 (the year after the Ruttheimer Group took over the world) that "Daria" made a guest appearance on Robot Chicken. While I feel obligated to mention it as being relevant to the fandom, the less said about it the better.

Fanfic Update!

• The Betrothed, by easmith (parts 3 and 4): "For what felt like the tenth time, Dylan checked the room number against the one written on the back of the photograph." (Part 4)


• A Different Morgendorffer, A Different Sloane, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (prologue): "It was stormy in Lawndale. Two teenage girls were braving the elements as they climbed up the Big Strawberry."


• Parting Gift, by Rémi (part 1): "Of all the persons that Jane Lane could have expected to see at her front door that evening, Quinn Morgendorffer was probably the last."


• Titanic - A True Story, by Sheila Wisz Ellayn (part 21): "The party at the First-class dining hall of that night had been the very best of the journey so far."

Popping In For a New Blog Post

Daria's celebrating Pop Art Day by showing off her new masterpiece...or is Jane celebrating by being her own new masterpiece? It's exactly the kind of thought-provoking tour-de-force that any pop artist would love to produce!

While not a pop artist, it's worth mentioning that today is the anniversary of Jackson Pollock's birth in 1912. I recommend celebrating by attending a school dance in his honor, and bonus points if you and another student get into a one-sided fistfight in the parking lot.

Let's also wish Aunt Amy a happy National Amy Day, and hope that she's celebrating with another tropical vacation. Of course, the best part of any vacation is rubbing her sister's nose in it, so don't forget the postcard!

Fandom News!

• Please remember to vote for your favorite Written Works and Visual Works!


• R.I.P., Melanie.


• Check out the logo for Jodie.


• wouter describes the biggest train wreck in a well known comic book series.

Ya Call That a Cynic?

Daria's taking a little trip down under for Australia Day, and with the cold weather in the Northern Hemisphere right now I don't blame her one bit. I do caution her to watch out for the dangerous wildlife, or as they call it in Australia, the wildlife.

Maybe Jake and Helen will join her, so that they can enjoy some quality time together for Spouse’s Day! Of course, we've already seen that planned trips never really work out for them, so better luck next time?

It's just as well for Helen, who would never take the time off anyway. In fact, she's most likely celebrating National Fun at Work Day as we speak!

Fanfic Update!

• The Betrothed, by easmith (parts 1 and 2): "'I saw her again last night.' Dylan paused, the phrase tickling at the back of his mind. 'That’s from a song, isn’t it?'" (Part 2)


• Katie Huegel, by Meester_Lee (part 5): "Jane went into her kitchen that evening to make dinner for one. Trent was over at Monique’s: they’d reconciled again and they were doing whatever they were doing there."


• A Slip, by fridaythesavage (COMPLETE!): "'You know, Morgendorffer, you seem to have changed your attitude lately,' said Jane over an afterschool pizza."


• This is Not America, by ladyevil (part 4): "'And here come the rest of them.' Jane said as she and Daria sat on a small hill overlooking the pond in the park. The Fashion Club gathered to do their community service."


• Titanic - A True Story, by Sheila Wisz Ellayn (part 20): "Captain Edward Smith never quite liked when the ocean looked like this at night."

May I Compliment You on Your Beer and/or Peanut Butter?

Quinn is passing along some flattering comments to her very favorite person on Compliment Day, which for her is every day. As Daria once pointed out, it's very hard not to compliment her.

You could take the opportunity to compliment Kevin on his recycling skills in honor of Beer Can Appreciation Day, because it takes real skill to crush those cans on one's forehead. You could also compliment Ms. Barch's ex-husband on his beer can collection, but don't let Barch hear you say it!

For those of you who aren't interested in compliments or beer, there's always National Peanut Butter Day! Take a page from Trent's book and let some peanut brittle hijack your brain. Just don't sit on any sandwiches, unless you'd like to get up close and personal with a bee.

Fandom News!

• Don't forget to vote in the Daria Fanworks Awards for Written Works and Visual Works.


• Discuss past drama in Daria fandom.


• Share what you had for dinner.

Brrrrrr!

Seems it's long past time for someone to invite Daria to celebrate Come in From the Cold Day! Still, better late than never. Daria, please come warm up--physically, at least, not personality-wise.

Given the extreme cold weather currently afflicting much of the United States, I suppose this alter ego is not quite as far-fetched as it might seem. To any fellow Daria fans in the path of the cold and snow, please stay safe and warm!

In fact, perhaps Jake can speed up the process by observing National Hot Sauce Day...in moderation. He wants his daughter warm, not with her taste buds burned to a crisp.

Finally, some good news for Mrs. Johansen because it's National Polka Dot Day and she can wear her favorite outfit again. Never mind what Quinn says about vertical stripes!

Sandi's Looking Especially Fowl Today

Yes, Sandi, everyone is paying attention to you for Penguin Awareness Day, but it's not the attention you think it is. It's not because you look particularly stylish, although that tuxedo is pretty sharp. No, it's because everyone is wondering why you let Dr. Shar go full-on Dr. Moreau. It's...terrifying.

I suggest shaking off that horrific image and enjoying National Cheese Lover Day instead. Jake might even dust off his squirrel impression and declare "Gimme cheese! I want cheese!"

I hope Upchuck knows that it's not only National Charlie Day, but National DJ Day as well! He should go put on some tunes, especially because if he's manning the DJ booth then he can't interact with anyone.

Fandom News!

• Voting is open for the Daria Fanworks Awards: Written Works and Visual Works.


• muireannwolfsbane wonders, what if one of Jake's siblings was disabled?

I Hope They Got Her Good Side!

Daria's just checking out the piece about her in Animation Magazine that was published on this day in 2002. It covered the creators' thoughts as the series came to a close, but never once referred to Daria as "jiggy" or "edgy!"

Staying within the literary vein, today is also Thesaurus Day! I hope/desire/wish you have an exceptional/marvelous/tremendous holiday/celebration/festivity!

Fanfic Update!

• Avatar: The Drama Of Daria, by psychotol (part 11): "Daria and Jane were almost to their next class when there was a bunch of alarmed exclamations from a crowd around a source of light that indicated a fire and a wave of movement in the crowd indicated everyone was backing off from it."


• Katie Huegel, by Meester_Lee (parts 3 and 4): "Margaret Manson sat back in her chair going through the folders of the new kids she’d tested. Ms. Li had begun resurrecting the student testing program to screen problem students so they could be channeled into programs where they wouldn’t cause difficulties." (Part 4)


• Southern Fried Carbones, by wilddogjj (parts 1 and 2): "A heavy snowfall is happening outside the house. Inside, Quinn is in her office going through the mail when one letter catches her eye." (Part 2)


• Spider Quinn 05: The Trip to Freemont, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (COMPLETE!): "After some questioning of the bartender and finding that all the people there were similar to Travis, Daria realised it was going to be more difficult than she expected."


• Titanic - A True Story, by Sheila Wisz Ellayn (parts 18 and 19): "It had been a rather quiet and uneventful journey for Captain Stanley Lord of the Californian, until the moment when his ship encountered a dangerous and alarming surprise that night!" (Part 19)

Here Be Cheerleaders

Let's hope Brittany is feeling appreciated on Appreciate a Dragon Day, because with her temper I don't think anyone would survive the alternative. Better start running, Kevvy!

I don't know if Brittany's looking forward to flame-broiled food, but she needs to know that it's International Hot and Spicy Food Day and she should add some hot sauce. Of course, that would probably only make her breathe more fire, and that seems dangerous.

Come to think of it, let's encourage her to celebrate National Nothing Day by just minding her own business and not frying anyone alive at all. She would do well to remember Daria's wise words: "the negative, which is the nothingness of being and the annihilating power both together, is nothingness."

Fandom News!

• You have a little extra time to nominate your favorite Written Works and Visual Works! Hurry!


• Meester_Lee wonders, what year did Daria and Jane graduate?


• R.I.P., Joyce Randolph.

Poor Mr. D Is Not Having a Good Day

Mr. DeMartino should really stick to teaching history, as celebrating International Kite Day clearly isn't going well for him. At the very least, I think he might consider limiting his outdoor activities to hiking, because that comes with far lower chances of electrocution.

Better yet, he could enjoy seven days of pizza for National Pizza Week! Then again, while I'm sure he'd love having regular meals, there's no way he could afford one pizza, let alone a week's worth, on his meager salary.

I suppose his best option is to take a walk down memory lane with Daria and Jane on the anniversary of "Look Back In Annoyance," which first aired on this day in 2002. It might be a "cheap ass clip show" but at least it won't cost him anything.

Fanfic Update!

• Katie Huegel, by Meester_Lee (parts 1 and 2): "The battered sedan slowed down to a stop outside the front entrance of the modern, well-kept high school building. 'This must be it,' said Patty Holman. 'Have a good day, honey.'" (Part 2)


• Spider Quinn 05: The Trip to Freemont, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 2): "Upon arriving home, Daria got into the car that formerly belonged to her father, but which her mother said she and Quinn could use. She turned on the engine."


• Titanic - A True Story, by Sheila Wisz Ellayn (part 17): "All that Anna Coulthard could feel that day was that now she had a cold and hollow piece of rock instead of having a heart."

They're So Cute When They're Filled With Loathing!

Daria and Quinn are celebrating National Youth Day, although only one of them is doing so enthusiastically. In her defense, Daria has always been clear that she doesn't like children, even when she was a child, so no one should be surprised by this.

However, Daria should know that it's also Kiss a Ginger Day and she's got an excellent opportunity sitting right next to her! Don't hold your breath, though; she's more likely to choose to kiss Upchuck.

Hey, maybe if no one tells Helen that it's Work Harder Day, she'll take the day off.

Ha. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Like that would ever happen.

Fandom News!

• Time is running out to nominate in the 2023 Daria Fanworks Awards for Written Works and Visual Works!


• darianefan05 shares a Goosebumps fanfic idea.

Does Anyone Even Water the Poor Thing?

I don't think the Morgendorffers' plant is enjoying Houseplant Appreciation Day, but then again the Morgendorffer house is the last place anyone should go to feel appreciated. Unless you're a frozen lasagna deliveryman, I suppose.

You do want to visit the Morgendorffers if you're going to celebrate Peculiar People Day, though. In fact, walk into any house in Lawndale and you'll probably encounter some peculiar people! Also, you'll probably get arrested for trespassing.

Fanfic Update!

• Lawyers, Gigs, and Money, by Dennis (COMPLETE!): "Jane Lane stood behind the bar watching the dregs of the evening crowd complete their various journeys toward alcohol-induced unconsciousness."

Can't Help Falling Asleep

Trent's putting on a pretty convincing impression of Elvis Presley for the anniversary of the late singer's birth on this day in 1935. Sadly, the illusion will be completely shattered the moment he actually starts to sing.

Still, if he can pull off the pelvic moves then he'll probably get his share of attention on Male Watcher’s Day. Daria, at least, will probably pay attention. Jane will be looking for anyone wearing a pair of shoes she's thinking about buying. Yes, the shoes. That's all.

Finally, I am at this very moment celebrating Typing Day! I wonder if Quinn will do the same. Just remember her signature sign-off: Smiley face, surprise face, wink!

Fandom News!

• Don't forget to nominate in the 2023 Daria Fanworks Awards for Written Works and Visual Works!


• Vote in the Celebrity Deathmatch poll between Ed Crankshaft vs. Slappy Squirrel.


• R.I.P., David Soul.


• Share your thoughts on the story "Turnabout Confusion" by Dennis.


• Did sarcasm ever fail Daria?

They're So Sweet When They're Imaginary!

Jake and Helen look extra sweet together for Cuddle Up Day, and it's a shame they don't get along like this more often. And by "more often" I mean "at all," because this scene was taken from a fantasy sequence in Daria's imagination. Oh, well. There's always the pancake batter.

But never mind about breakfast; today is National Take a Poet to Lunch Day and you have your choice of poets to invite! You could get some fast food with Quinn while she reads you "The Greasy Fry" or try to keep your food down while Andrea talks about rotting bags of flesh. On second thought, maybe just skip the poets entirely.

Whomever you have lunch with, I recommend you follow Daria's lead and order a steak for Joan of Arc's birthday on this day in 1412. Hm. I think that joke works better when spoken out loud.

Fanfic Update!

• Daria Ravenclaw: The Legend of Sporting Joe, by Meester_Lee (part 20): "Oswald sat in his chair and seethed as he watched Skein and the restaurant’s bouncer escort Derrick out of the restaurant."


• Far Away for too Long, by ViriVulpi (COMPLETE!): "She heard her alarm and grabbed her glasses from the nightstand. It was the weekend and she forgot to turn off the switch."


• Spider Quinn 05: The Trip to Freemont, by cfardellbrenorenz29 (part 5): "Jane looked at the card Daria held out. 'Wow. Licensed to drive. The grotesque picture makes it official.'"


• This is Not America, by ladyevil (part 3): "'It’s called a ménage à trois.' Alfred said as their pizza and a pitcher of Coke was served."

Is It Oxidizing?

I think Jake's having some technical difficulties on National Spaghetti Day, and not just because he's wearing it on his head instead of eating it. That's clearly penne and not spaghetti, but I'm sure it would be okay if he served fettucine. Both of those are Trent's favorite, after all.

Let's all wish a happy National Rachel Day to the Landons' least-noticed member. With any luck she'll have some time off from taking care of Evan and hearing about how great Jodie is to actually enjoy it.

Finally, who wants to celebrate Trivia Day by listening to Daria and Jane share some of their favorite fun facts from the Middle Ages? I'm sure it will only make you lose part of your appetite!

Fandom News!

• The 2023 Daria Fanworks Awards are open for nominations! Choose your favorite Written Works and Visual Works!


• Check out the list of 2023's completed Daria fanfiction.


• Vote in the polls between Zarana vs Black Canary and Cousin Oliver vs. Stephanie Mills from All in the Family/Archie Bunker's Place.

He Sure Looks Uncomfortable. Good.

Looks like Upchuck is trying out Run up the Flagpole and See if Anyone Salutes Day, but I don't think anyone is going to salute him. Unless it's out of gratitude that he's taken himself out of contact with any and all females. I suppose I could explain to him how the holiday is meant to refer to a metaphor, but I think I like him better up there.

I suppose it's possible that he's just doing some weird new exercise, in which case I recommend he try celebrating National Personal Trainer Day instead. Quinn is exceptionally good a motivation; just ask Sandi. She can get anyone to swim, you cow! Swim!

Or maybe Upchuck was picked up by aliens and dropped onto the flagpole, which would be an interesting story idea and fits in perfectly with National Science Fiction Day! I'm sure Artie would be willing to read it, anyway.

Fanfic Update!

• The Engineer and the Time Lady, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 23): "'We're almost there,' Andersen said. Albert could see the ice palace ahead. 'But, still, General Order One...'"


• Extensions, by fridaythesavage (part 1): "'Welcome to "It's a Nutty, Nutty, Nutty World",' started Daria Morgendorffer 24th time that day."